Episode 37: Eric Relieves Headaches

  • Chapter 11 of Sorcerer’s Stone: “Quidditch”
  • Further proof of our house point discussion
  • Do Filch’s actions in this chapter suggest he’s on the bad side?
  • Keep Jordan under control
  • Why did Quirrell use dark magic during the match?
  • What other enchantments are on broomsticks?
  • Hermione is ALWAYS right – except when she’s emotional
  • Would Hermione be able to keep her cool in a situation like the veil?
  • Countercurses
  • Why do Hagrid and Dumbledore trust Snape?
  • DADA: Why did Dumbledore give Snape the position?
  • Why didn’t Legilimency appear in the first four books?
  • Why was McGonagall unsurprised by Dumbledore’s death?
  • Kevin plays Favorites
  • What if…Harry hadn’t been raised by the Dursleys?
  • Chicken Soup for the MuggleCast Soul

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Running time: 56:19, 22.9 MB

Transcript 036

MuggleCast EP36 Transcript


Andrew [Show Intro with music in background]: Because Battlestar Gallactica is a re-run this week, MuggleCast 36 for April 23rd, 2006!

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Hello everyone and welcome back to the show! I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I am Ben Schoen.

Eric: I am Eric Scull.

Laura: I am Laura Thompson.

Jamie: And I’m Jamie Lawrence. Last again, for the second time tonight.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Sorry about that, Jamie.

Laura: We love you, Jamie.

Andrew: As everyone knows by now, this is the show where we bring you the latest in Harry Potter news, theories, discussion, analysis, whatever you want to make of it. It’s all right here.

Ben: All bundled in to one hour.

Andrew: Ben, we finish each other’s sentences now.

Ben: I know.

Andrew: Our relationship is growing.

Laura: It’s meant to be.

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Andrew: Before we go anywhere else, let’s check in with Micah Tannenbaum for the past week’s top Harry Potter news stories.


Micah: Warner Bros. announced earlier this week that the IMAX version of the fourth Harry Potter movie has grossed over $20 million worldwide. These earnings make the film the first digitally re-mastered 2D IMAX release to reach such a milestone.

And speaking of movies, last week we confirmed the US release date of Order of the Phoenix as July 13th, 2007. We’ve now learned from Warner Bros that UK fans will be seeing the film on the same date. Other release dates include Australia on September 6th, 2007. France will get in on July 11th, Ireland and Norway on July 13th, Hungary on July 19th, and Bulgaria on July 20th.

HPANA reported Tuesday that Nicholas Hooper, one of the UK’s leading media composers, is set to compose the soundtrack for the Order of the Phoenix movie. In 2004, he won the Best Original Score BAFTA for The Young Visitors and was nominated several other times for the prestigious awards. However, this has yet to be confirmed by Warner Brothers, so stay tuned for more information.

And Jim McManus is set to play Aberforth Dumbledore in Order of the Phoenix, confirming that Dumbledore’s goat loving brother will appear in the fifth film.

Rupert Grint, along with James and Oliver Phelps, appeared on BBC Radio 1’s Jo Whiley show Wednesday morning where they discussed filming of the fifth Harry Potter movie. Head over to MuggleNet.com to see the full interview.

The Sunday Times’ 2006 rich list of young people in the UK placed Daniel Radcliffe at #9, with a net worth of £14m ($25m). The list determines the richest 1,000 British people or families by identifying their wealth in terms of property, assets or significant shares in companies.

JK Rowling topped the list of the film and television millionaires, with an estimated worth of £520m ($926m).

Jo has been listed on TIME Magazine’s poll for the top 100 most influential people. Each week visitors can vote on a different category, with this week’s being Artists and Entertainers. Jo is up against the likes of actor George Clooney and comedian Jon Stewart. So be sure to go vote.

JK Rowling has donated a “major” sum of money to help create a research center for Multiple Sclerosis in Edinburgh. The figure, which is undisclosed at this time, will help fund the over £2m project at The Centre for Regenerative Medicine in Edinburgh University. Scotland is the MS capital of the world, with around 10,400 sufferers.

David Thewlis talked with This is London, Richard Griffiths spoke with the New York Post and Rupert Grint with Alloy Magazine recently. Be sure to head on over to MuggleNet to read these interviews. And speaking of Rupert, the actor who plays Ron in the Potter films will be in New York to view a screening of Driving Lessons at the Tribeca Film Festival. The screening takes place on April 30th at 8:30 PM (that’s a week from this Sunday), and tickets are only available at the door.

That’s all the news for this April 23rd, 2006 edition of MuggleCast. Back to the show.

Andrew: All right. Thank you, Micah.


Andrew: Now, moving on to some announcements. Don’t forget – buy your own MuggleCast T-shirt and you will fit in at your school.

And also, everyone please express their interest in our “Show Us Your Character Sweepstakes” over at MuggleNet.com. Basically what happens is you make your own Harry Potter impersonation video. So send it into ShowUsYourCharacter.com. Then send us that link over at MuggleNet.com. And you can win some awesome prizes, including a Harry Potter iPod. Yay! So visit MuggleNet.com and click on “Competitions” at the left for full details.

Jamie, do you want to do a contest reminder?

Jamie: Yeah, I will. Please look in the “Show Notes” for a link to the competition that allows you to win a place on the podcast panel at Collectormania 9, where we will be interviewing and talking to Robert Pattinson, James and Oliver Phelps, and other Harry Potter stars, hopefully. And you can also win a Gold Pass ticket, which basically allows you free reign over the entire Collectormania event, worth £175. So, please enter. And also, if you want tickets to the podcast, please do e-mail me because I think there are some still left. Thank you.

Eric: 175 “pounds” – that’s pretty heavy.

Ben: That is pretty good.

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Andrew: And now it’s time for a big old birthday wish to our very own Eric James Scull, who turns 18 this Sunday, the 23rd.

Laura: Awww.

Andrew: At…

Eric: 18, April 23rd. That’s right, Andrew. Yours truly, the Caption Man is the big 1-8. He’s legal starting…

Andrew: You are legally – legal what? I don’t know what you are saying.

Eric: Eh, that’s okay Andrew. You’re a little too young. I can’t explain that to you.

Andrew: [in baby-like voice] I’m still little!

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Eric, I hope you get some good presents. Send Eric some presents if you love him to the MuggleCast PO Box at? Ben?


PO Box 223

Moundridge, Kansas 67107

Listener Rebuttal – Young Voldemort

Andrew: All right. Now it is time for this week’s Listener Rebuttals. The first one comes from Kristen, 17, in Massachusetts. She writes:

Hey, this is Kris from Massachusetts. I just wanted to point out that technically there WAS a 16-year-old Voldemort. In Chamber of Secrets, Tom Riddle says that he was called Voldemort by his closest friends when he was at Hogwarts. So, there really was a 16-year-old Voldemort, people just hadn’t heard of him yet. Thanks! I LOVE your podcast!!!!!

Jamie: Do you know what’s weird – do you know what’s weird though? Thinking about that. What does Voldemort translate to mean again? What was it? “Flight from death?” Is it “Vol-de-mort”?

Eric: Flight from death.

Jamie: Yeah, flight from death. Well, he must have thought about his Horcruxes then and put significant thought into… No, actually thinking about it, do you think the “flight from death” means that after he tried to kill Harry, he flew from death there? Or which thing do you think it relates to? Because…

Ben: I think it relates to him being immortal.

Eric: [same time as Ben] Immortal or… Yeah, very powerful.

Jamie: Then he must have automatically came up with – I mean he must have had his plan by the time he wanted his friends to call him Voldemort, or he couldn’t have adopted that name without realizing its etymology.

Eric: That’s just like saying that [coughs] he wouldn’t be a Latin major, you know? Or wouldn’t be, you know? How he could come up with that. I don’t know. Does… I tend to think the whole Voldemort meaning “flight from death” is one of the Rowlingisms, where Rowling put it in and we know the significance of it and that’s why it’s cool. But, I don’t necessarily know that Tom Riddle was sitting there like, okay, with a Latin dictionary…

Jamie: No, no. It’s French. It’s French. Vol-de-mort.

Eric: Oh, sorry – French.

Jamie: “Mort” is “death.”

Eric: Well…

Jamie: He just went on CoolEvilWizardNames.com.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: Oh yeah.

Jamie: It’s an excellent site. I do recommend it.

Eric: No, I mean French… I’d like to think – but at the same time, yeah, I don’t know. I think the whole fact that Voldemort means “flight from death” is just one of the cool Rowling things. So I’m trying to guess – I guess I am saying he chose Voldemort without knowing that, but that’s kind of a stupid, weird thing to do. You know? To rearrange the letters to be Voldemort?

Jamie: Yeah, that’s true.

Eric: That’s… I don’t know.

Laura: Well, no, actually I would have to agree with Eric because I don’t think that people in the series name themselves or their children specific names, thinking that it has some kind of mythological or tie through a definition to them and their personality. I just think it’s something that Jo does.

Jamie: Voldemort liked trophies and stuff. And I think he would have liked his name to have a deep etym – sorry, etymological grounding. Sorry, it’s late. I can’t even say that. So, I think it would have appealed to him.

Ben: And I agree with what Jamie is saying because…

Jamie: Oh, thanks Ben.

Ben: …when you name a kid – when you name a kid, you don’t know what they are going to become. Voldemort knew that he was going to try to cheat death.

Jamie: Yeah, exactly.

Ben: So, it makes sense that he named himself that.

Eric: I agree with that.

Laura: Yeah, I can go with that.

Andrew: I’m trying to remember, didn’t – I think the point of this e-mail was that last week we said something about…

Jamie: When Voldemort came around, didn’t we? Or something like that? I can’t remember.

Andrew: Right. Yeah, something like THAT.

Laura: It was a Dueling Club.

Jamie: Oh yeah, yeah, that’s it.

Ben: But what I refer Voldemort as, is like the modern-day Voldemort.

Jamie: Yes, I agree. Yeah.

Ben: Not the – when he was 16.

Jamie: I agree completely.

Ben: So, when he’s 16, I still think he’s in the Tom Marvolo Riddle stage where he’s sort of a “I want to be Voldemort.” But then after… But then later on when he starts developing his following, that’s when I sort of see the real transformation happen. Because at the time he was still a student and he was still learning and really hadn’t went on a rampage yet. That’s just the way I look at it.

Eric: So, I would think of Voldemort as beginning after he did all those magical things like change his face…

Jamie: Yeah, definitely. Yeah.

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: …and change his appearance. And when he came back to Dumbledore asking to teach at Hogwarts, I think that’s probably when he was Voldemort.

Listener Rebuttal – Snape Good? He Saves Harry In Book One

Andrew: All right. Now moving on to the next listener rebuttal. This one comes from Zach, 21, of New “Yawk.” He writes:

Hey, guys! Love the show! My question is really a statement disguised as a question.

Andrew and Jamie: Oooh!

Jamie: Clever guy!


With all this talk about whether or not Snape is evil, isn’t it obvious that he is good based on the first book? I’m talking about the Quidditch match where Quirrell is trying to knock Harry off his broom and Snape counters that and saves Harry. Quirrell was doing Voldemort’s bidding and Snape completely messed up his plans.

Ben: I disagree with this for two reasons. Firstly, Snape didn’t know that Quirrell – that Voldemort was on the back of Quirrell’s head. And he perhaps thought that Voldemort was gone for good like some of the other people thought, so he wouldn’t really try to combat them. And secondly, he already – the reason that he tried to save Harry was that he owed a debt to Harry’s father…

Jamie: Yeah, I was going to say that.

Ben: …just like something…

Laura: Mhm.

Ben: Like in the end we may see Peter Pettigrew betray Voldemort, because he owes a debt to Harry. That’s what I’m saying and Jo’s mentioned throughout the series that when you owe a debt to someone, it’s like, very strong and very binding, so I think that makes sense. So even if he did know, which I don’t think he did, that Voldemort was on the back of his head…

Eric: Yeah. I think that’s also like asking – well first of all Snape I think, himself, saw Quirrell as greedy, or just wanting the stone for himself. I think that’s what Quirrell said. Quirrell’s own words were something like that. That he didn’t know about Voldemort being on the back of his head, but also I think it’s like asking why Voldemort would take Snape in and let Snape be on his side after the events of Sorcerer’s Stone. It’s kind of like asking that question because, you know? You think with Snape confronting Quirrell, that Voldemort would never trust him again. You know?

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: Because he would have seen him approaching Quirrell, and trying to stop him – all that stuff. But Snape does – did owe a debt to Harry and…

Jamie: It’s basically that.

Ben: And at the same time about when you said that Voldemort would hear what Snape said. Another thing you have to remember, basically, is that there are a large amount of people who were originally loyal to Voldemort that broke that loyalty oath, and basically denied that they were ever on his side.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: You know, there was the Malfoys, Crabbe, Goyle, all of them who denied it.

Jamie: Going from that, this kind of thing transcends the good vs. evil debate, because obviously Voldemort supporters don’t think they’re evil; they think that Dumbledore’s evil, and I’m sure it’s possible to be in between Voldemort and Dumbledore, and not be evil, and not be good. You know? You’re just neutral.

Ben: Like amoral?

Jamie: No, no, no. Obviously Snape is a supporter of one or the other side, but he’s still a teacher and he has a duty to protect his students. If he sees Quirrell trying to knock Harry off his broom, he has a duty, foremost as a teacher, to stop him from doing so. I just think, I know he told Bellatrix in London that he couldn’t kill Harry because it was right under Dumbledore’s nose, but it could just be that, you know, that he has responsibility as a teacher as well. He could be on Voldemort’s side, but he’s still, you know, his loyalty to Voldemort doesn’t extend to being really evil and just killing students. You know? He still has a loyalty to them.

Snape’s One Side – His Own

Ben: I don’t want to exacerbate the Snape conversation too much here, but my question here is do you think it’s possible that Snape is on his own side?

Jamie: Yes, definitely. Yeah.

Ben: He’s not good, he’s not evil, he’s just working for himself?

Eric: Well, you’ve brought that theory up before. What I wanted to say though – because of this, in reference to this rebuttal, you know, he’s asking if the fact Snape saved Harry this time, if it means that he’s good for good? What I wanted to say was just in the whole book,, you know the whole book, we’re led to believe Snape is evil, and it turns out he’s not. I just wanted to ask the question of does that mean Jo is fooling us so that he can actually be evil later in the books, [coughs] or is that truly a parallel where we’ll always think Snape is bad, and it will turn out he isn’t?

Jamie: Yeah, that could be it as well.

Andrew: But if he’s in it for himself, what does he have to gain from this? Ultimate power over Voldemort or what?

Ben: Well, just staying alive.

Eric: I don’t think he’s in it for himself. I really don’t think Snape is in it for himself. A lot of the – I think Snape is too well educated to be in it for himself.

Ben: Or he’s well educated enough that he could play the game, and play both sides well enough.

Eric: Eh, possibly.

Book 7 vs. Movie 5 Release Date

Andrew: All right, that wraps up this week’s Listener Rebuttals. Now, we’ve been doing this for the past two shows, and we’ve gotten such great feedback that I thought we should spend another ten minutes or so on the Book 7/Movie 5 release dates, because…

Jamie: Don’t you mean…

Andrew: It’s just so interesting…

Jamie: Can we do twenty?

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: Can we do twenty minutes? Yeah, twenty minutes.

Andrew: Twenty?

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: What do you guys think? Twenty?

Jamie: Yeah, give the fans a treat. Give the fans a treat.

Ben: Actually, I think we should spend the rest of the show…

Andrew: [laughs] The rest of the show? [laughs] A treat.

Jamie: Yeah. Let’s just call it Release-Date Cast. We only talk about the release date.

[Andrew, Ben and Laura laugh]

Andrew: All right, well, actually, guys, we’re just kidding. We [laughs]

Ben: We got plenty of e-mails about that.

Andrew: Some people enjoyed the discussion, but some people thought we over-killed it.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: I thought it was an interesting debate…

Laura: I did too. [laughs]

Andrew: …but we’re just going to have to wait and see. [laughs] So…

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: I guess it’s one of those discussions where, like, it’s only interesting to some people if you’re actually involved.

Ben: Yeah, but a final thing – one final closing point on that…

Jamie: Yeah, but with a release date it’s that…

Ben: No, no. Hold on, hold on. Jo probably… They probably take into account when Jo is going to release the book, and she probably doesn’t know yet, so if they – say she decides 07/07/07, they’ll probably move the movie, and that’s all there is to be said about it.

Eric: I don’t know.

Andrew: Good point.

Laura: Hmm.

Eric: They shouldn’t have made it official. Why did they go and make it official, Andrew, why would they do that?

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: Okay, but we’re not discussing this.

[Laura laughs]

Chapter-by-Chapter: Chapter 10, Sorcerer’s Stone

Andrew: Anyway, moving on.

Eric: Whoo.

Andrew: Now it’s time for this week’s Chapter-by-Chapter discussion, Chapter 10 of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

Jamie: Or Philosopher’s Stone.

Andrew: Titled “Halloween” – Or Philosopher’s Stone, if you’re like Jamie and live across the pond.

Jamie: It’s only a small pond.

Andrew: All right, Eric. You’ve been gone for what, two shows? Two weeks?

Eric: Two shows.

Andrew: What have we done without you?

Jamie: I don’t know how we’ve coped. It’s been difficult.

Andrew: Yeah, I don’t know how we coped either, honestly. Yeah. All right, so there’s quite a few things that happened in this chapter, so let’s get right to it.

Chapter 10 – Halloween

Laura: Last week, we were debating whether or not Malfoy was actually planning to go and chickened out or if he tipped off Filch, and I think the beginning of this chapter pretty much confirms that he tipped Filch off.

Jamie: Yeah, definitely.

Laura: Because it says: “Malfoy couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw that Harry and Ron were still at school the next day.”

Eric: Yeah, that’s nice.

Laura: So, I think that pretty much settles that debate.

Andrew: Yes.

Eric: It was just a simple ploy.

Andrew: I stand corrected, Laura. I’m sorry.

The Nimbus 2000

Eric: Okay, on pg. 164 of the US edition, this might be – I don’t know if anybody is going to narrate this chapter. I can’t because I’m getting over the flu and I’m coughing, but whose phone is that? Anyways, pg. 164 in the US version, is actually when Harry gets his Nimbus 2000 from McGonagall. I just wanted to remark that this letter from Professor McGonagall is pretty useless, considering everybody knows, or will know, what Harry gets anyway.

Andrew: Yeah, wouldn’t it have made more sense if you sent the letter first – sent the note first. Or why not just hand deliver it?

Eric: Well, I would have actually just given Harry the broomstick somewhere else. You know?

Jamie: Later on perhaps?

Eric: Yeah.

Jamie: Held him back after a lesson.

Eric: I think it’s possible, too, that they could have sent the – yeah, exactly. I think they could have sent the letter first anyway. Maybe they did, it’s just the owl who was carrying the parcel was faster, or something like that. I don’t think – but…

Andrew: There were six owls carrying the parcels. So…

Eric: Okay, yeah. So I guess the letter owl was just dumb.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: So, sending it through the Great Hall is the one way to ensure that everybody knows he’s getting one.

Laura: I think what she meant was, “I don’t want everybody knowing that the school paid for your broom.”

Jamie: Yeah, I think that…

Eric: No, but I don’t see how even getting the thing would make them know that, or not know that anyway. By the time he plays Quidditch and is on the broom, they’re going to be like, “That’s a Nimbus 2000, where did he get one?”

Jamie: He can lie. He can lie and just say, “I bought it,” or “I found it.”

Eric: [laughs] “I found it.”

Andrew: We don’t know for sure who paid for this broom or – well, we know why, but we don’t know for sure who paid for this broom.

Jamie: I think Laura’s right, that the school had to pay for it, or why would they care that they got one? Because everyone is going to find out that he’s playing soon enough, and they’re going to see he’s flying a Nimbus 2000.

Andrew: Why would it be the entire school? Wouldn’t it make more sense if it was McGonagall, or maybe the Gryffindor team chipped to help pay for this to ensure Harry comes on the team this year?

Laura: Well, I don’t think it was anyone specific. I think it was just the school in general.

Eric: I think it was Dumbledore, actually.

Jamie: Oh no.

Laura: Well, I mean, it’s just money that came from the school. It doesn’t matter really specifically what teacher or who got together about it.

Eric: [laughs] Taxes. Yeah, it was taxes.

Jamie: Broomstick fund.

Eric: Yeah, it was the broomstick fund.

[Jamie and Laura laugh]

Eric: Yeah the people around the students pay taxes, and they paid for Harry’s broom.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: It’s tax deductible, the broomstick fund.

Jamie: Oh yeah it is, definitely. Not for profit.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

The Quidditch Lesson

Andrew: All right, so moving along, he gets into his Quidditch lessons. Is there anything really to point out here?

Jamie: Only that Wood doesn’t know what basketball is, but he [laughs] gets out a pack of golf balls.

Andrew: I thought that was pretty dumb.

Jamie: Do they have stores there now?

Andrew: I don’t know how you wouldn’t know that. Wouldn’t you have some – wouldn’t you go back into the Muggle world and read in the paper or…

Jamie: No, exactly. Yeah.

Andrew: …overhear it.

Eric: Basketball.

Andrew: I don’t get that. That makes them seem really imaginary.

Eric: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: It kind of makes me sad.

Jamie: I makes me cry.

Eric: I don’t know. Is basketball big in Britain, Jamie?

Jamie: No, not really.

Andrew: I guess that means Wood didn’t take one class: Muggle studies. Ah! [laughs]

[Everyone laughs sarcastically]

Andrew: Well it’s true, right?

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: There, I just made a new fact.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Actually, I don’t even know that Muggle Studies would focus on…

Andrew: Of course Muggle Studies would cover sports.

Eric: I don’t know, you think? I mean the wizards are completely…

Andrew: That’s crazy talk!

Eric: Well, Muggle Studies just sounds like a sad excuse to pretend they know a lot about Muggles, when clearly they – clearly the first class, the first day of Muggle Studies should focus on proper dress.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: You know? How the guys don’t wear the dresses?

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Good point.

Eric: You know? Or nightgowns.

Jamie: Eric, that thing you were saying about that Wood said that he could turn out better than Charlie Weasley, and he could have played for England if he hadn’t gone off chasing dragons. Do you think that’s foreshadowing?

Eric: Uhhh.

Jamie: That after Harry sorted out all that stuff with Voldemort, and if he lives of course, he could like completely purge everyone’s emotions about the evil versus good and just play for England, play Quidditch for England.

Eric: No, I don’t think that will happen for one reason, which is JKR hates Quidditch, and…

Jamie: Actually…

Eric: I think she does! I think she really does, doesn’t she? Didn’t she say that she was really, really, really tired of writing about Quidditch?

Andrew: Yeah, I’m pretty sure she did.

Eric: And it’s funny…

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: …because I kind of got that feeling by Book 4, there wasn’t Quidditch. By Book 5, he wasn’t on the team. I’m like, “Wow!” But, she did write about so many different games that it’s just like she got tired of trying to find new ways to write about games that haven’t happened yet.

Jamie: That is true, yeah.

Eric: I really don’t think – even if she writes about it, I really don’t think she’ll have Harry going off and playing Quidditch, just so she doesn’t have to imply that she is ever going to write about any more about Quidditch. I just don’t think Quidditch…

Jamie: That’s true, yeah.

Eric: As far as I’m concerned, I don’t think she wants to think about it anymore.

Occupation Post-Hogwarts

Laura: I think even if Harry had the opportunity, he wouldn’t, because he doesn’t like fame.

Ben: That’s just – yeah.

Laura: I mean he hates it enough already. Why would he want to go become a famous Quidditch player?

Jamie: He loves broomsticks and balls, doesn’t he? I think he’d jump at the chance to go off and play Quidditch.

Laura: I think he likes it, but I think that were he to [laughs] – if he’s going to survive this war with Voldemort, then I’m not sure he’s going to want to go play Quidditch.

Jamie: Yeah, I agree. Yeah.

Laura: I think he’s going to want to settle down and live a quiet life.

Jamie: You’re probably right.

Eric: Harry’s never wanted to acquire attention, because he’s always been provided with it.

Jamie: True.

Eric: It’s true to say that, like, if he were to go on…

Jamie: Yeah, but if he played Quidditch, he’d do it for himself, though, he wouldn’t…

Eric: But, if he were to go on to be an Auror, he’d probably acquire fame, too, for hunting down all the remaining bad guys. But I just think – I don’t think of Harry as a jock. He’s always been successful, and he’s always been a good sports person…

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: …but to pursue a career where you’re just constantly showing that you’re a better teammate than somebody else, I think something about that would not appeal to him.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Andrew: Well, he’s into the excitement, and what other job would he work at?

Eric: Quickie Mart.

Andrew: That wouldn’t give him so much stress?

[Jamie laughs]

Laura: Does he even really need a job…

Eric: He doesn’t need a job!

Laura: …technically?

Andrew: Well, he might have enough cash, yeah.

Ben: He’s going to die anyway!

Andrew: Good point!

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Thank you, Negative Ben!

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Ben, I’m sure…

Eric: He’s going to die.

Andrew: Ben, that’s your response to everything. [Mimics Ben] “Who cares? He’s just going to die anyway!” Yeah, just say that about everyone that we bring up!

Jamie: [laughs] I’d love Harry to be a hot dog vendor. That’d be the best thing ever!

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: That would be so good! Please say he’d be one! Please Jo, please make him a hot dog vendor! “So, Harry, are you going to go off and kill Voldemort?” “Nope. I’ve opened up a pork and link sausage business just down the road.”

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Jamie: I’m going to sell loads and make a fortune. Harry’s Hot Dogs!”

[Everybody laughs]

Charms And Nonverbal Spells

Andrew: So, Harry, Ron, and Hermione move on to the Charms lessons, where we see that Hermione is a big, fat know-it-all.

Jamie: Wingardium Leviosa!

Andrew: Wingardium Leviosa! Wingardium Levi-O-sa!

Laura: You’re saying it wrong, Andrew!

Eric: It’s Levi-O-sa! Not Levio-SA!

Laura: There you go!

Jamie: You know when you do nonverbal spells, do you have to say the word in your mind, or does it just happen?

Eric: I don’t know. That’s just like saying, you know? I don’t know.

Andrew: You have to say it in your mind, don’t you? You have to think it, right?

Eric: There’s like this… Yeah, but you have to say it correctly. Nonverbal spells said wrong could – I don’t even know.

Jamie: What happens if you just think it? Do you just think, “I want this door to open,” you just point your wand at it. The thing about Wizard Baruffio, I don’t actually understand that. Why did he end up with a buffalo on his chest? Because he said…

Eric: I was just thinking that! I mean, everybody, every American, “Fl…”

Jamie: So, it would be, okay, “Swish and fl…,” no, “Fwish and slick.”

Laura: No, he wasn’t talking about the Wingardium Leviosa spell specifically.

Jamie: Oh. Oh, right. Cool.

Laura: He was just being…

Ben: Right.

Jamie: Oh, okay.

Eric: “And saying the magic words properly is very important, too – never forget Wizard Baruffio, who said ‘s’ instead of ‘f’ and found himself on the floor with a buffalo on his chest.”

Jamie: Oh.

Jamie: I think it was funny, and it was cute, but I didn’t really understand what that was…

Jamie: See…

Eric: That’s from pg. 171 of the US edition.

Ben: No.

Eric: It’s just really funny to contemplate where “s” instead of “f” would really have frewed him over, or screwed him – frewed him. I tried to make a joke. It didn’t…

Jamie: Yeah. What about also, when Seamus got so impatient that he prodded it with his wand and set fire to it, and Harry put it out with his hat. I’m sure in a future book, early on, it says that Harry had to put it out with his wand with water. So, perhaps just to show that Harry doesn’t have any skill now whatsoever. He really is still in the Muggle world.

Eric: Oh yeah, it’s cool. Seamus set fire to it. I think that was really funny in the movie. Good comic relief.

Jamie: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: Levio-… Levi-O… [makes explosive sound]

Eric: There’s emphasis, strange emphasis, on Ron’s arms here. It says, “Ron, at the next table, wasn’t having much more luck. ‘Wingardium Leviosa!‘ he shouted, waving his long arms like a windmill.”

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: It’s to make him look big and stalky, like he always does.

Laura: Yeah, I’d have to agree.

The Troll

Eric: Quirrell comes in, screaming, ranting. They sneak off and they lock the troll in the bathroom with Hermione, [laughing] even though she wants to be alone. They’re like, “Hey! Let’s go lock the troll in the bathroom with Hermione!” So they do. Then they realize that they’re stupid, and then they open it up and try and save her.

Laura: That really meant something to me, because currently, in the next county over from me, there is a woman trying to get the Potter books banned from all of the school libraries in her county, and she runs…

Ben: Boo!

Laura: Yeah! [laughs] And she runs around saying that Harry lies, cheats, steals, and he’s not held accountable, and he has no conscience, and he does all these horrible things, yet he does all these horrible things…

[Eric laughs]

Laura: …yet he accidentally locks a troll in the bathroom with someone who just annoys the hell out of him.

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: And he immediately goes tearing back, risking his life to save this person, so, you know what?

Jamie: Who he doesn’t even like yet.

Eric: Yeah, exactly!

Laura: Exactly! So…

Eric: I’d actually be surprised if the school libraries were updated enough to have the Harry Potter books.

Laura: Woman from the next county over, you need to get over it! Thank you.

Jamie: You know when Hermione says, “Is it dead?” And then Harry says, “I don’t think so. I think it’s just been knocked out.” Doesn’t later in the book, when they go down to the Philosopher’s Stone, doesn’t Jo say this one was definitely dead, do you think it’s the same troll? That Quirrell sort of roused from his unconscious state and nursed back to health?

Eric: I don’t think so.

Jamie: And then brought down into the – You think he’d be a bit stupid after just being knocked out, but I don’t know.

Eric: I think it’s a different troll.

Jamie: Probably not though.

Laura: It seems like it said – yeah, because it seems like Harry said something like, “It’s a good thing that one’s knocked out, because was a lot bigger,” or something like that. “Good thing we didn’t have to fight that one.”

Eric: Oh, right!

Jamie: Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Eric: That’s jumping ahead, but yeah.

Jamie: I think you could be right, yeah.

Eric: That’s cool. That sounds very interesting. I think it’s important to mention that Hermione does the unthinkable, and she says that she thought she was cool and…

Andrew: She lies!

Eric: Yes! She says, “I thought I was little Miss Goody Two Shoes who could handle the troll, so I went looking for it, and Harry and Ron…

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: …knew that I was nothing really special after all, and they went and stopped it for me.” So, McGonagall, knowing how McGonagall knows, that she can take five points from Hermione, give five points each to Harry and Ron, and voila, by the end of the night…

The House Points System

Jamie: It doesn’t mean anything, five points, does it?

Eric: It’s nothing. It’s interesting to note, too, how, later in the books, the teachers seem to take a heck of a lot more points away.

Ben: Yeah, that’s weird!

Eric: For even…you know?

Jamie: And give, yeah.

Ben: Because I remember Snape was like, [imitating Professor Snape] “You just lost a point for Gryffindor!”

Eric: Yeah! It’s like fifty…

Andrew: Yeah, but it was a single point!

Eric: Fifty points for saying something about Hermione’s front teeth and defending yourself against that, but five points for almost dying by a troll.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: Well, I see what it is – I see what it is. It’s that it’s all relative, because maybe some teachers started giving out more points for things that were insignificant, and so it sort of turned into a competition.

Eric: You know what it is.

Jamie: Maybe, yeah.

Eric: It’s – it’s inflation. It’s JKR’s way of commenting on the economy now.

Andrew: [laughing] Yeah.

Ben: It’s inflation of house points.

[Ben and Jamie laugh]

Eric: Throughout time, everything inflates. So, you know, fifty points by Book 4 is the same as five points back then.

Jamie: You can get a really good exchange rate for house points.

Andrew: Oh yeah.

Jamie: Fifty to the dollar.

Andrew: Let’s talk about that for a second. Is it because – is it because maybe Jo didn’t take the point system as seriously when she was originally writing this?

Eric: Eh, I just…

Jamie: That could be it, yeah.

Eric: …think that she didn’t know where she was going to go with it. I mean, I don’t know.

Andrew: Because one point. Or, or was it that they went easy on the freshmen?

Eric: Snape wouldn’t go easy.

Andrew: Like an unwritten rule.

Laura: Yeah, that was always the impression that I got.

Andrew: [laughs] I called them freshmen…

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: Oh, I know. You’re terrible.

Laura: Awww, that’s kind of what they are, but…

Andrew: They are, yeah.

Laura: …I always got the impression that it was sort of a regulation for teachers to go a little bit easy on first years, especially at the beginning of their first term.

Andrew: One point just seems like… [laughs]

Ben: Well, when you – when then later on McGonagall takes away, McGonagall takes away fifty points, and that’s like the big shocker. And it wouldn’t have been that big of a shock…

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: …and everyone wouldn’t have been as mad at them if there was a regular occurrence that they got taken away, even by the older students, if you catch my drift.

Laura: Yeah, and I don’t think that the one point that Snape took away from Harry was really about losing house points. I think it was about Snape making a point.

Ben: Or taking – taking a point, you mean.

Laura: Like, I don’t like you.

Ben: Taking a point. [laughs]

Laura: No, no, no – ha, ha, ha, Ben. I think it was strictly about Snape making it known that he dislikes Harry. I think he wanted Harry to know that right from the start, so he was going to find any excuse he could to take a point.

Eric: Yeah.
Jamie [at same time as Eric]: Yeah, it could be.

Eric: And – and it didn’t really matter about house points.

Ben: But, no. Okay, he would take away more points than just one. I think it’s just the inconsistency.

Laura: No, but that’s the thing, I don’t think it was about taking house points.

Eric: I agree with Laura, and I have to say that when he did take away more points than just one, when he took away ten, or twenty points, it was specifically so that the rest of the Gryffindors would know that Harry had cost them something, and that it was Harry who had done this, you know? I think at one point in the books it said that, you know, the Gryffindors woke up the next morning to find that like, fifty to one hundred points were gone, and you know, they would wonder why, and they would think it was a mistake, and that way they would be able to know that it was all because of Harry. So I think Snape, whereas in the first scene he only took one just to jab at Harry, he takes away significant amounts to get Harry’s own house upset with him.

Ben: Right, but about that, one final thing about that is…

Andrew: Aren’t there…

Ben: …how do they know who got the points taken away? Is there like a log up there or a scoring marker?

Jamie: No, no, no, it just spreads around.

Eric: It just spreads, it’s a rumor.

Jamie: It just spreads around the school, it’s just word of mouth.


Eric: Now here, the last line of the chapter is what I wanted to mention, it’s the last thing I have as a note, and it says, “But from that moment on, Hermione Granger became their friend. There are some things you can’t share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them.”

Andrew: That’s another classic JKR moment.

Eric: [laughs] I thought that was – that was a brilliant, classic JKR moment. It totally is, because…

Jamie: It is, definitely.

Laura: It’s like doing MuggleCast.

Eric: Yes.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: It’s…

Andrew: MuggleCast is hell, what are you talking about?

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: I just wanted to point out that Jo’s editors actually were considering cutting the entire troll scene, but she fought them to try to – well, she fought to keep it in the book.

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: Oh no.

Eric: But it’s such a plot – were they really?

Jamie: Maybe…

Eric: It’s such a plot…

Jamie: …it’s just to establish their friendship, maybe?

Andrew: So, she actually wrote on her website, “Hermione, bless her, is so very annoying in the first part of Philosopher’s Stone that I really felt I needed something literally huge to bring her together with Harry and Ron.” Just a little tidbit there.

Eric: I mean that’s the whole – I can’t believe they were thinking of cutting that. That’s the whole point of like how they became – you know, this big boom! thing to get them to become friends, and from that moment on they were best of friends. She helps them cheat on their homework, you know what I’m saying?

Laura: Mhm.

Eric: I mean, she just does that for them, and it’s like this strange bonding experience. I think it was very important to include there because people do become friends for weird reasons sometimes.

Andrew: And it developed Harry and Ron, too, in that they were brave enough to fight the troll.

Eric: And they took responsibility for their own actions…

Andrew: Right.

Eric: …by going to find her, because it was their fault that she ran off. So, I think that was big character development and it really worked out for everybody.

Andrew: Let’s go talk to these editors. Do me a favor.

Laura: Yeah, I’m glad she fought for that. That would have been stupid.

Ben: Don’t you guys think that it would make sense that she fought to keep it in because it was foreshadowing?

Eric: I wouldn’t be too upset at the editors. They probably had their own reasons, I mean, some editors obviously didn’t realize that Hermione was going to become this big, central character as well. I mean, even if they did, I wouldn’t be too upset at the editors, they just – they made a suggestion.

Voicemail – Wands

Andrew: Now moving on to the general voice mail questions, this first one comes from Allison.

[Audio]: Hey MuggleCasters, this is Allison from Fairfax, Virginia, and I have a question for you guys. In the book, when a wizard’s wand breaks or gets damaged, they go to Ollivander’s to get a new one. However, like Ollivander says to Harry in Book 1, “No two Ollivander wands are the same, just as no two unicorns, dragons, or phoenixes are quite the same.” So, when a wizard goes to replace his wand, what does he get if the first one was the best one for them? Just wanted to know what you guys thought. Love the show, especially Jamie! Bye!

Eric: The second-best.

Andrew: The second-best.

[Jamie laughs]

Laura: Uhhh…

Ben: Well, no, I don’t know about that. I think – how do you know they actually found the wand that was best for them when they went the first time.

Jamie: Yeah, that’s right.

Ben: Because we know there’s like millions of wands in there. Not literally millions, but there’s a lot of wands in there. And it isn’t like they go through each and every one of them and choose it.

Eric: I think they do. Because if you – if you read the book, Ben, that’s what Ollivander did for Harry. And I understand that Harry might have been a special case.

Ben: He didn’t go through every wand that’s win the store.

Eric: Yeah he did, pretty much. They went on for hours…

Laura: No. They went through them until they found one that worked.

Eric: Until they found one that glowed or did the special thing.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: Yeah, until they found one that worked. And maybe – and maybe if you’re… The book’s all about destiny and stuff, so maybe if you’re destined to end up with that other wand. Maybe the reason the wand broke to begin with was because it truly wasn’t the wand for you.

Jamie: Isn’t it like that’s the best wand at that time?

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: And you know? A new wand could come out that suits you. It’s like, if each person has certain statistics, so say that one person’s brave, bravery equals dragon heart string or something, and they’re also courageous, which equals twelve inches, and they’re also friendly, which equals oak.

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: You know? That would be the perfect wand because it matches them in their powers, so – and like, there are degrees of perfection. So, say Harry’s holly wand that he has now could be extremely good, but there could just be tiny, tiny changes that could make it an even better wand, or something like that. I don’t know.

Andrew: Mr. Ollivander is very educated with his wands, so he would probably pick one of the best ones for the wizard right off the bat. Right?

Jamie: Yeah, I think that could be right.

Andrew: It’s not like he – he doesn’t have to go through all the wands, he knows, he can narrow it down to a group of them.

Ben: Right, yeah, he has a lot of experience with wands.

Jamie: Unless there’s no correlation whatsoever between a wand and who it picks. It could just be that one wand likes a certain person, just from that. If there’s no connection whatsoever, then he really does just have to try as many as possible until he… I mean, it’s just luck then. It could just be luck.

Eric: Ollivander did try one hundred wands before Harry found the one that – you know? The spindly chair was…

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: …ready to break from all the wands that they were using, but it came upon to me…

Jamie: Yeah. But is there always a wand for a person or not?

Eric: Well, I was wondering, because Ollivander, he spends all that time, and Harry tries all these wands, that doesn’t work, and destroys half his shop doing it – if you follow the movie. And he finally picks out this wand and says, “I wonder.”

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: And, you know, does this whole thing, and he knows where the holly wand comes from. He knows, you know, the phoenix feather, that it’s Fawkes, Voldemort’s – why didn’t he try that sooner? I mean, maybe it was in the back of his mind, maybe.

Jamie: It just came to him. It just came to him, maybe.

Ben: No, maybe – maybe it was about one hundred wands down the aisle, and we went and tried the other ones.

Jamie: But, also couldn’t it be that – I mean like, Squibs don’t have any magical properties. Couldn’t it be that Squibs can’t get wands? That could be one reason. I mean, I know they say that you can do magic without a wand, but you can’t do – you can’t be, like a proper, powerful wizard without one. It’s like, even though Jo says that magic comes from within you, you need a wand to centralize it and focus it. Could it be that, if say Filch goes into – goes into Ollivander’s, that there would be no wand for him? And that could be part of the reason why he’s a Squib. I don’t know.

Eric: Well, there’s that, but there’s also this other thing Jamie, about this whole wand thing. Some people use their father’s wand, or their brother’s wand. Like, you know Ron, even when Ron started off, he wasn’t using…

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: …he was using Charlie’s wand, wasn’t he?

Jamie: Yeah. So… Yeah, he was.

Eric: And then it broke, he kind of got one – so it’s really interesting how people just…

Jamie: It could be genetic then, you mean?

Eric: Genetic? I…

Jamie: Genetic.

Eric: I mean, it could be anything, because people don’t even need to go into Ollivander’s and get wands, you know, they can use their brother’s wand, or…

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Ben: Or maybe it was that Ron’s family was too poor to buy him his own wand, so…

Eric: No, that’s what it is.

Ben: …he said – yeah, I know, but…

Eric: But then Charlie – Charlie needs a wand of his own.

Ben: Right, but, the wand, it didn’t function properly with Ron though. That’s the thing.

Jamie: But do you think like, there are some wands which you just can’t use? It just doesn’t suit you at all?

Laura: Yes, I do.

Jamie: Like, if Harry…

Laura: I do.

Jamie: …used Voldemort’s wand. Sorry, if Hermione used Voldemort’s wand. It’s a powerful wand that’s been used for evil, could she really, you know, wield that power? Or if Neville used it or something, I just don’t know if they could do it.

Laura: Well here’s my two cents. I think that saying that there is one wand for one wizard is like saying there is one person you can be friends with, or there is one person that you can fall in love with in this whole world, and I just – I don’t think that’s true. I think that here are different wands that can suit you, and it can also depend on how you’ve grown as a person. It might change later.

Jamie: Well, I only love Ben. Don’t know about…

Ben: Using the love analogy – you know you can, like, you can have people that maybe you fall in love with and stuff, but maybe there’s only one true love. Maybe there’s only one wand.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: You, Ben, for me. I love you, Ben!

Ben: That truly fits you.

Jamie: Actually, Ben, this is a perfect moment for this. I’ve been meaning to ask you this for a – for a while now. I’m afraid I can’t get down on one knee, but Ben?

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Ben: Yeah?

Jamie: [laughs] Ben Carla Schoen…

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Carlo. His middle name is Carlo.

Jamie: Will you marry me?

Laura: Can I be the flower girl?

Ben: Of course, Jamie.

Jamie: Oh, yes!

Ben: Of course.

Jamie: Yes, definitely. Definitely.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Eric: Can I be the best man?

Jamie: Eric, you aren’t doing the speech.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Eric, you are not doing the speech.

Ben: Yeah, you’re definitely not.

Eric: Awww, come on, okay.

[Ben laughs]

Eric: No, but one final thing on this voicemail question that’s gone on and on and on forever. I wonder what JKR’s position…

Ben: You like it that way.

Eric: …on this whole wand thing would be, considering she…

Jamie: Yeah, I think we’re interested to find out.

Eric: …she did make effort to characterize James’ and Lily’s wands as good for Charms or, you know, very swishy…

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: …very pliable, good for this, good for that. And so Ollivander did kind of classify what wand was what for his parents. And so it’s just interesting to see, well, what happens, and is one wand – you know, does it, as a person changes, does another wand suit them better? Or what’s the deal with that?

Jamie: Yeah, that’s true, yeah.

Ben: Somewhere out there, Jo, I know you’re listening.

Eric: Yeah.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: You listened to the…

Ben: Announce it on your own site.

Eric: I’m sure she turned it off when she heard the marriage announcement, though. She’s like, “Oh, crap.”

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: “They’re proposing to each other, it’s time to stop.”

Andrew: Next voicemail. Ben from New York.

Voicemail – The Pensieve

[Audio]: Hi, this is Ben from Buffalo, New York, and I was – I had a question about the Pensieve. When Harry and Dumbledore try to convince the Muggle community – the magic community about Voldemort’s return, why can’t they put Harry’s memory in a Pensieve and show the Minster of Magic? Thanks, I love the show! Bye!

Jamie: You can – I’m sure that you can fake memories. If I think that I can fly away to a castle, and I’m picturing it now, and I’m picturing myself freezing. Freezing my ass off, flying to a castle, thinking I’d love to be at the nice warm castle now. I’m picturing all the imagery and everything. I could put that into a Pensieve, I think. Or could you? Or could you?

Ben: Well, look to Half-Blood Prince, where Slughorn tries to modify a memory that Dumbledore has because he doesn’t want Dumbledore to find out …

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: …that he told Tom Riddle about the Horcruxes. So, I don’t think you can truly forge a memory, though.

Jamie: But the thing is, that’s an extremely badly done, obviously you know, attempt at changing his memory. Is it that he’s just a bad memory-changer, or is it just exceptionally difficult?

Ben: Or maybe if he truly believed that, though. I think maybe if you – you know sometimes if you…

Jamie: He obviously felt very strongly about it and he got extremely emotional.

Ben: Like if you reinforce a perception in somebody, maybe they’ll actually truly believe they…

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: …could fly away to England…

Jamie: And freeze their ass off, yeah.

Ben: …like you think you could do, or…

Eric: Well, that’s like saying if you use Veritaserum and somebody truly believes that they’re telling the truth, will they lie, or will they tell the truth? Like…

Jamie: No, no, it isn’t, because it forces you to tell the truth. It can’t be subjective – the truth can’t be subjective. It’s just facts. It forces you to tell fact, that’s it.

Eric: But facts can be wrong. If you’re brought up to believe…

Laura: Fact about what you know. Fact of what you’ve been told.

Jamie: No, they can’t be wrong. It forces you to tell the truth. It’s magical, it can’t be wrong. It forces you to tell the truth.

Ben: And – right. The difference with a Pensieve is that your memory – your memory is biased towards your point of view.

Jamie: That is subjective. Your memory’s subjective. Yes, exactly. Whereas Veritaserum forces you to tell the truth. Obviously, there are – I mean, there are obviously antidotes to it and ways to fight it, but if it catches you and ensnares you, then it forces you to tell what is the truth.

Eric: Not just the truth as you know it – THE truth.

Jamie: There’s no subjective version of the truth. Yeah, exactly. You can’t…

Eric: I don’t know. That’s interesting.

Jamie: You can’t say, “my truth is wrong.” It’s a paradox. You can’t say that.

Laura: I was always under the impression that Veritaserum worked in the fashion that you tell the truth about what you know. Like, someone could have…

Eric: Yeah, that’s what I’m saying!

Laura: …lied to you.

Jamie: About what you know, yeah.

Laura: Someone could have lied to you and you could be telling them what they – yeah!

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: Well, that’s absolutely it. Yeah.

Eric: But that’s all I’m saying, Jamie, is that if you’re brought up to believe…

Jamie: Well, obviously. Yeah.

Eric: …you know, that you can’t tell the truth. It’s a false truth.

Jamie: You could tell the truth that somebody had lied to you – no, sorry, that somebody had told you this and that this is what happened. But you couldn’t say this is the truth, because you don’t know it’s the truth. You just say, “John Smith came up to me and told me that this is what happened.” Obviously, you can’t add, like, “and I thought this was wrong,” or “I thought this was bad.” This is what happened.

Eric: I don’t even know where this is going. What I wanted to say about this whole voicemail question…

Jamie: It’s a narrative. It isn’t analysis.

Eric: Well, I think we agree with each other…

Jamie: It’s complete narrative.

Eric: I don’t even know. Okay. All I wanted to say was that it’s the truth as you know it with Veritaserum. But I think – I don’t think Vol – you know, the Ministry of Magic or Fudge would have taken the time to have Harry walk over to a Pensieve and put his memory. He doesn’t, you know – he doesn’t, like – I don’t think he cares.

Jamie: Right, exactly. Yeah.

Eric: I don’t think he cares at all about whether it’s the truth or not. I think he just wants to incriminate Harry and he wants a response out of him, and he’s not going to believe Harry, or, you know…

Jamie: It isn’t only that, though, but – sorry, go on, finish your point.

Eric: He isn’t going to believe Harry no matter what he says, or believe Dumbledore. He’s always trying to discredit him, and I don’t think – you know, even if Harry could prove, could put his memory in the Pensieve, they would have just said, “Oh, that’s a false memory,” or some crap like that.

Jamie: But they’ve got to be scared of it being the truth as well. If people trust Pensieve memories, then it would prove that the Ministry of Magic were incorrect. But also, they have to draw the line somewhere. I mean, obviously, they use Veritaserum on the criminals and everyone like that to get confessions and stuff. But there comes a point where you – I mean, I don’t know, I just don’t think they could viably use Veritaserum on an 11-year-old schoolboy, or however old he was at the time, without causing an uproar. I mean, clearly there’s corruption going on, because I doubt that, and I doubt that the public would approve of the use of Veritaserum on everyone, right?

Eric: I don’t think the public would know, but…

Jamie: No, exactly. Corruption in the upper echelons of government. Oooo! Dan Brown!

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: I just read that!

Jamie: Seriously, there is.

Eric: You know, I just read The Da Vinci Code, and Angels and Demons. Great books.

Jamie: Ah, good man. Good man.

Laura: Oh, I love Angels and Demons.

Jamie: The next book, Eric, is Holy Blood, Holy Grail. Read that.

Eric: I’m on to Narnia.

Andrew: Isn’t that the book that the guy is, like, tried to sue Dan Brown?

Eric: There’s a hundred people…

Andrew: Isn’t that in the news recently?

Jamie: Yeah. Baigent and Leigh did it.

Andrew: Yeah, for copying or something.

Jamie: Yeah, but he won it. There were like – he claimed that there are kind of, there are small inconsistencies – like there’s a character in The Da Vinci Code called Leigh Teabing, and Teabing is an anagram of Baigent, who’s the author of Holy Blood, Holy Grail. And Leigh is a – sorry, and – yeah. And Leigh is the last name of one of the other authors. And then there are other things as well, like they reference Holy Blood, Holy Grail – Leigh Teabing references it directly in the book. And there are all other tiny things as well, but I mean, I just think it’s based on it. It’s not – he doesn’t actually plagiarize. It’s facts…

Andrew: Yeah, it’s…

Eric: Personally, all this stuff about Da Vinci Code

Jamie: …you know? I don’t know.

Eric: I think Angels and Demons is a better book anyway. Da Vinci…

Laura: I thought so too!

Eric: Yeah. Da Vinci Code

Jamie: I Angels and Demons is awesome – yeah.

Eric: …rips off of Angels and Demon‘s plot completely. Like, everything happens the same, there’s the same…

Jamie: They’re all the same, though.

Eric: Yeah, exactly. The assassin is led to believe there’s an organization – it’s, like, so many similarities it’s just…

Jamie: But…

Eric: …I prefer Angels and Demons.

Jamie: But Eric – but Eric, I thought the ending to Angels and Demons was a bit disappointing. I thought The Da Vinci Code was better.

Andrew: But moving on with the discussion, Jamie, what were you going to say?

Jamie: Perhaps it’s just an inadmissible in their courts of law. Like over here – I don’t know, just from the back of my memory being drunk isn’t an excuse for criminal intent. So you can’t say…

Eric: You can’t plead ignorance.

Jamie: Well, no. It’s more like – it’s more like if you get absolutely drunk out of your head and kill somebody, that being drunk is no excuse. It’s absolutely no excuse whatsoever. So, you know, it’s just like – I think it could be just like that. Perhaps the Pensieve isn’t concrete enough.

Andrew: Next voicemail comes from Lauren and Alex from Florida.

Voicemail – Moody And The Boggart

[Audio]: Hi, this is Lauren.

[Audio]: And Alex!

[Audio]: From Fort Lauderdale, Florida. JK Rowling says that nobody has ever seen a Boggart in its original form. However, Mad-Eye Moody used his eye at Grimmauld Place to see if a Boggart was hiding in the cupboard there. Do you think he saw the Boggart in its original form, or did he just see his greatest fear? Thanks! We love the show!

Eric: I think that would probably be – I think it’s doubtful that Moody would have seen the Boggart in the form of his fear. I think he did see it in its original form because the Boggart – the fact is, the Boggart changes based on who it sees you know? The Boggart takes one look at you and figures out your biggest fear. But I don’t think the Boggart can see through the cabinet, so…

Laura: Yeah, but – go ahead. I’ll go after you. [laughs]

Eric: Okay. Well, if Mad-Eye Moody is downstairs and he looks up through five ceilings and he sees on the top floor of something that there’s a Boggart, I don’t think the Boggart is going to know that he’s being looked at enough to change into his fear.

Andrew: Yeah, because the Boggart doesn’t have a magical eye, and that’s all it comes down to. It’s not like… [laughs]

Jamie: But no, no it doesn’t! That’s not true. It’s two points. Number one, Mad-Eye would have to have seen a Boggart before to know what it’s original form was if he was to, you know, if it appeared in its original form here, or he wouldn’t know that it was a Boggart. So either he’d have to had seen one before to see that it was there in its original form. Or, his eye can see – I don’t know, the chemical make-up or something, and he recognized it was a Boggart. Or, it – I mean I think personally, what it comes down to is whether – when the Boggart transforms into your greatest fear, whether it needs line of sight to see you or whether it’s, you know, sort of linked telepathically or something.

Laura: Exactly.

Jamie: Or it can sense you – sense you seeing it or something like that and then it can turn into your greatest fear.

Laura: What I’m wondering is if a Boggart is more like your own – because it turns into your personal fear. Is it like when you walk around in the dark and you think you see things, but they’re not really there? Is it more of something that you do to yourself, or is it something that the Boggart does to you?

Jamie: Oh, that’s interesting.

Eric: In Defense Against the Dark Arts class, in Prisoner of Azkaban, everybody saw the Boggart turn into a spider for Ron. Everybody saw the Boggart turn into the moon.

Laura: That’s true.

Jamie: The Boggart doesn’t serve them, yeah.

Eric: It’s not like everyone saw their own fear by looking at the Boggart. So, I think by that very definition then, when you look at the Boggart, it isn’t what you see. It isn’t your fear.

Laura: It’s what everyone sees.

Eric: Because the Boggart’s choice on who to turn into – what to turn into.

Laura: Mhm.

Jamie: Even though – yes – but even though Lupin said the way to kill a Boggart is laughter so it doesn’t know who to hone in on, how does it decide who to hone in on? Does it pray on the weak? Or – what happens, what happens if the person can’t get rid of the Boggart in time? If it can’t Riddukulus it into hell? [laughs] In the film when, I think it was Parvati, had the rattlesnake she performed the spell just before it striked. What would have happened if she dropped her wand or she couldn’t strike it in time? Or she couldn’t get rid of it?

Eric: She probably would have – well look at what happened to Molly. She was crying on the floor next to the dead Weasleys or whatever, that she saw.

Jamie: Can it hurt you physically? Can it hurt you physically?

Andrew: Well, to answer the first part of your question, I think this is what you were asking, wouldn’t it transform into the first person…

Eric: Yeah, I think so too.

Andrew: …it had eye contact with?

Jamie: Yeah, but if it’s eye contact, what happens if everyone keeps their eyes – yeah, but if everyone keeps their eyes closed then it still fits in with the thing that no one’s ever seen a Boggart. You know?

Eric: Yeah.

Jamie: Because if they have their eyes closed they can’t see it, but as soon as they open their eyes they do. But that leads on to something else, do Boggarts, when they change form, share the original powers of the thing they turn into? I mean obviously the Dementor did but – and also, do they have any allegiance apart from scaring the person who they are trying to scare? Because if you were terrified of Voldemort and it turned into Voldemort, couldn’t you tame him? Couldn’t you use him to fight against the other side or something like that? I don’t know. It’s a really interesting topic though, I think.

Eric: I just think it looks like – it might have some characteristics as far as being able to like slither if it’s a snake, something like that, but as far as being Voldemort, I don’t think it had his memory or anything like that. I just wanted to say that I think it is its original form. I think Moody saw it in its original form. And I don’t even see why that’s a question considering he’s an Auror. He’s an Auror, you’re an Auror, you should have seen one before.

Jamie: Because he must have seen one before. He had to have seen one before.

Andrew: Not necessarily.

Jamie: How does he know it was a Boggart?

Andrew: You could have read it in a book – you could have read it in a book or someone could have described it to you.

Laura: But no one’s ever seen one, how can they describe it?

Jamie: No one’s ever seen one before.

Andrew: Has it been said that no one’s ever seen one?

Eric: Remus Lupin says…

Jamie: I think it does.

Laura: It does.

Eric: But at the same time, I don’t know. I think Moody saw its original form and I think as an…

Jamie: It just…

Eric: …Auror you should be able to trust if he’s seen one before or not. Because I think it’s strictly the Boggart’s choice who it turns into and it wouldn’t be able to tell until it came out of the closet, what it could turn into. I just think that makes sense to me. Because everybody saw something else.

Andrew: Yeah. It’s a special circumstance for Mad-Eye because he can see through walls and Boggarts – who’s to say that Boggarts can see through walls, and if they had to make eye contact with you and he wasn’t making eye contact with him, then…

Eric: It’s seen in the movie that the Boggart kind of knows ahead of time. Like, it comes out of the closet dressed as Snape, or something like that. By the way the movie works, you can kind of guess that it might know ahead of time, but…

Andrew: I think they did it in the movie that way because they didn’t know what a Boggart looked like.

Eric: Exactly. I think that’s a movie-ism.

Jamie: Just for effects.

Eric: I think that’s just…

Laura: Actually in the books, Snape did come out of the closet. They didn’t see the Boggart itself.

Eric: But maybe he heard them talking. I don’t know. I just think if you stare at a Boggart from a thousand feet away with a magical eye, it shouldn’t know to turn into your thing because everybody saw the fear turn into one specific fear…

Andrew: Right.

Eric: Not everybody – it’s not like the Boggart stood in front of everybody and everybody saw it differently. It’s not.

Andrew: We’re all in agreement that it has to look at you in the eye, right?

Laura: Well, does a Boggart have eyes?

Eric: That’s a good question. Does it have eyes? I don’t know.

Andrew: Well, it has to look at you somehow.

Eric: It’s a magical creature.

Andrew: Well, it…

Laura: Why does it have to look at you? It can be like a Dementor.

Eric: It’s a magical creature. Yeah…

Laura: It can sense your fear.

Andrew: Because what if there is a group in the room? How does it decide which one to turn to?

Laura: I don’t think it has anything to do with if you have a group of people. I think it can sense different people’s fears and just a general…

Andrew: So, how does it decide who to turn into first?

Laura: I don’t think it matters. Whoever’s closest to it? whoever it can sense closest?

Eric: Which came first guys, the Boggart or the fear?

Laura: Well see, that’s kind of what I was kind of wondering. What happens if you have no fears?

Eric: Nobody has no fear.

Jamie: You have no fears, did you say?

Laura: Yeah, what…

Andrew: Everyone has a fear.

Jamie: Everyone has to [laughs]

Eric: Even if it’s a fear of fear, everybody has to have one.

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: But theoretically, theoretically, if you’re afraid of nothing. What if Mad-Eye has no fears?

Ben: Then your immortal, man.

Laura: What if he’s just absolutely not afraid of nothing? Does that mean..

Eric: Then he would see it in it’s true form, or he would see nothing.

Laura: Would he – exactly. So, is it possible that, if Moody has no fears, it doesn’t matter if it would turn into anything because he would see it that way anyhow? [laughs and snorts]

Andrew: Well, all right, we’re going to leave this question open for now. There’s just not enough information to make assumptions.

Laura: We’re actually leaving something open.

Andrew: This is one of those questions where we’re like – well we do sometimes.

Eric: Very safe, maybe.

Favorite…Harry Potter Book

Andrew: Now it’s time for this week’s favorite segment where – actually it’s the second installment of this segment, where we pick a little topic in the Harry Potter series and we say “Hey, my favorite is” blank. And Eric, since you’re new to this one, start it off.

Eric: Well not, not until you’ve intro-ed it.

Andrew: I said – oh [laughs] This week’s topic – sorry – this week’s topic is favorite Harry Potter book. Oh by the way, thanks to everyone who submitted their favorite “blank” ideas. We’re going to put them all to use. Hopefully. So, favorite Harry Potter book. Let’s go around the table, Eric?

Eric: It was after I read Book 5, I said to myself, “What did I think about this book and do I think it’s better than 3?” Because I knew three was my favorite until that point and I say to myself, “Is this book truly better than 3?” And actually what I decided was “Yes,” that Book 5 was going to become my favorite book. But it never did. I always knew that I said it was better, but from weeks on I’d say 3 was my favorite and it just makes no sense to me. I just don’t know if I’m – I’m like a traitor to my own decisions. I’m going to say Book 3, but it’s probably not even true.

Ben: Ah geez, hmmm, my favorite book would probably have to be Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

Eric: Say Book 4.

Ben: It’s just so intense. I don’t know, as I read it, it just keeps me on the edge of my seat for most of the novel. And just the part at the end of the chapter where Lord Voldemort rises when it says, “Out of the cauldron stepped a tall thin-like man. Lord Voldemort had risen again.” That part I about jumped out of my chair and started jumping up and down, punch in the air. That’s how excited I was.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: [in high-pitched voice] Woo, Voldemort’s back, woo!

Ben: It was just so intense. It was such a build-up, it was great.

Eric: Ben that’s wasn’t even… Ben, that wasn’t even…

Andrew: I’ll have to say my favorite book was Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. One, because of its length. I really enjoyed how long it was because, especially during the summer. It actually took me, I’ll admit… [laughs]

Ben: This is embarrassing right here.

Andrew: Yeah, this is going to be embarrassing. I bought the book, but then like after that I just – this is before MuggleNet and everything so I just wasn’t into… All right, I didn’t start reading it until a week after I bought it. [laughs] And I was actually there for the midnight release.

Laura: What is wrong with you?

Ben: Blasphemy.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Yeah. I don’t know what happened. I think I might have been sick actually, but – so, once I started reading it I would sit in my living room. I’ve never spent so much time on a couch reading because it was so long.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: And it was Umbridge. I just love Umbridge and how angry she made me, and if there’s a book that can create that much emotion in me or anyone else, I think it’s great.

Eric: I loved hoping I could kill somebody.

Ben: You already have.

Eric: I loved fathoming death. I loved contemplating it.

Andrew: All right, Laura.

Laura: I definitely…

Andrew: Eric, it’s not your turn anymore.

Laura: I definitely agree with Ben, and say Goblet of Fire for a few reasons. The first and foremost one, that the summer Goblet of Fire came out is when I moved to Georgia from Texas and I knew absolutely no one.

Jamie: To Cumming.

Laura: And the – yeah, to Cumming no less, and…

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: You don’t want to give out your location.

Laura: Oh, people all know I live in Cumming.

Ben: There’s three people. Three people – she’s one of three people that live there.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: I doubt it’s on a map.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Andrew, it’s not like it’s on a map.

Laura: It’s really the only thing I had to look forward to that summer and I was so excited because I’d heard it was going to be so long and I just had this visual of me having this book to keep me busy all summer and in the end, it only kept me busy for three days. But I can’t really describe what it is I love about it so much. I just – I look at it and I look at my other books and this one is torn completely to pieces.

[Jamie laughs]

Laura: It’s got pages falling out and the cover is all torn and it’s – the binding is completely shot and I just loved it because it was such a turning point in the series and it really meant a lot to me, so…

Jamie: I – I just want to point out that I’m last again. [fake sniffs]

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: I’m sorry.

Jamie: Okay, I think I love Half Blood Prince more than all the other ones put together. I just think it’s so good. I just love how the opening – and I just love how it’s so dark and it’s so serious. I love the serious side. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love like, the wands and buying – buying the owl – buying Hedwig and buying all the magical stuff. I just love the dark side. I think it’s so good and it’s weird because when Chamber of Secrets came out, that was my favorite, then when Prisoner of Azkaban came out, that was my favorite, then Goblet of Fire was my favorite. Order of the Phoenix I absolutely loved, but then Half Blood Prince I thought – I just – was absolutely amazing. So yeah, Half Blood Prince easily.

Andrew: Huh?

Ben: It blew the others out of the water.

Jamie: It literally – it pulled out an AK-47 and just tore them to pieces.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Jamie: It seriously – it didn’t leave a shred of paper. It cost me a fortune to replace because it just kept doing it.

Ben: [laughs] Yeah.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Yeah. And that was Jamie’s British Joke of the Day.

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Jamie: Oh, no, no. I just thought of another one. But yeah…

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: …I just love Half Blood Prince and I hope when Book 7 comes out, I’m going to like that more.

Andrew: Yeah. Does anyone think that they’re going to just be blown away by Book 7?

Laura: Yeah, I hope I am.

Jamie: Yeah, completely. Mhm.

Andrew: I already think I will be.

Ben: Okay, actually I hope that Book 7 is the worst book in the series you know, just…

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: So you can be like, “Oh, I’m done with this.” [laughs]

Ben: Yeah, just so I can reflect…

Andrew: Good thing it’s over.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: Jo’s lost her touch. [laughs]. All right.

Ben: I hope she hears that. I hope she hears it.

Andrew: I’m sorry, Jo!

Jamie’s Britsh Joke Of The Day

Andrew: All right, now it’s time for Jamie’s British Joke of the Day.

Jamie: Okay. It’s a short one this week to make up for the essay last week. Okay. A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “I can’t serve you.” The mushroom says, “Why not? I’m a fun guy (fungi).”

Laura: Oooh.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: I thought – Jamie, I actually thought that your joke was going to be something about a stool.

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah, yeah that’s good, too. Very good.

Dueling Club – Hermione vs. Young Lily Potter

Andrew: Great. Okay. All right, now moving on to – look at this we’re just moving along segment after seg – segment after segment. [laughs] Now moving on to this week’s Dueling Club. This is another user-submitted one. I think these creative ones are better than, like…

Jamie: Yeah. Dumbledore versus Gandalf.

Andrew: …the ones where we just match the two characters up. Yeah. Here’s another creative one. This one comes from Megan, 16, of Pennsylvania. She writes, “Hey guys, really love the show…” Is it obnoxious that I put in all the “really love the shows”?

Jamie: Yeah, it is.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Andrew: Anyway, she says, “I was listening to your latest episode and you mention the Dueling Club and I thought a good match would be between Hermione and a young Lily Potter. What do you think? Keep up the good work.”

Ben: I think that we don’t know enough…

Jamie: Lily Potter.

Eric: I don’t think that – I don’t think that Hermione would ever fight Lily Potter.

Laura: Well, that’s not the point, though.

Ben: This is all hypothetically speaking.

Eric: I think Lily’s got – Lily’s got spunk, but so does Hermione. Like, if Lily were like – if it were like the Jerry Springer Show, okay, and Lily said something about Hermione being a know-it-all or something, I think Hermione could prove her wrong.

Andrew: But think about the situation. Lily was born among two Mudbloods – or, she’s a Mudblood.

Laura: Muggle-born.

Ben: Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Laura: Muggle-born, Andrew. God!

Ben: Geez.

Eric: Yeah.

Laura: Muggle-born.

Andrew: What? Wait.

Eric: Muggle-born, not Mudblood.

Laura: God, you’re so prejudiced.

Ben: Geez.

[Jamie and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Okay, so. [laughs] Oh, oh I see, you guys are trying to be courteous. You guys are such dorks.

Jamie: What did you say, Andrew? What did you say? I missed it.

Andrew: I said Mudblood! [laughs]

Jamie: Andrew! Andrew!

Andrew: These dorks are like, “Andrew, don’t say that!”

Eric: Well, they’re both Mudbloods. They’re both worth nothing anyway.

Andrew: Voldemort! Voldemort!

Ben: Hey.

Andrew: [laughs] You guys are such dorks.

Laura: Shut up. You work for the site, too.

Andrew: I thought I was actually using the – I thought I was using the wrong term. You made me feel all stupid. But anyway – anyway. Yeah, but think about the situation. They’re both Muggle-born. So, don’t you think Lily was just as excited about it as Hermione was?

Jamie: Yeah, but it just seems that – I just think that Lily just seems like she had more power at that stage and that she knew more magic and she was Head Girl and everything. And even though – and even though Hermione is so clever, she, well I suppose Lily was in a thingamabob as well. But, I don’t know. I just think that – I just think that it would be Lily.

Eric: I agree with Jamie. I also think…

Jamie: I just think she has it in her.

Eric: …there’s this whole – there’s this whole extra reason that you’re not grasping and I want to help you with this. Check this out. Okay, if Lily – all right – Lily and Hermione, okay? Lily would totally blow her away for a completely different reason. Lily would use the old-school magic. And she would totally school Hermione with the old-school magic.

Jamie: That’s true, yeah, that’s…

Laura: Well, one advantage that I think Lily would have over Hermione is cleverness to a point because whenever I read Lily’s character, it just seems like she’s far more socially savvy than Hermione is and it sort of…

Jamie: Are you trying to say she’s thick?

Laura: No! No, no, no. I’m trying to say [laughs] I think that Lily knows more about people and their actions and why – what lies behind them than Hermione does. And I think that Lily would be more likely to foresee something Hermione would do.

Jamie: So, to sum up, Megan, we can’t even answer the question. That’s how bad we are.

Laura: [laughs] Well, that’s what I think the advantage is.

Andrew: I agree. If you’re socially superior, you’re going to have a mental advantage over your opponent. Mental and probably emotional. All right so, let’s vote in Lily’s favor.

Jamie: Yeah, I agree.

Chicken Soup For The MuggleCast Soul

Andrew: All right, next up – instead of calling this segment “The MuggleCast Heartwarming Story of the Week,” we thought it’d be better to call it “Chicken Soup for the MuggleCast Soul.” Which, in the US, are books that make you feel better about yourself because of stories written by others, so this one comes from Helen, 14, of New York. She writes:

“I have been very sick through the last few months and your shows really help me. I even listened to the show when I had some minor surgery and was partially awake. I am better now and your show really helped me by giving me an hour of entertainment each week. Thank you.”

Jamie: Hope you’re feeling better soon! [blows a kiss]

Ben: Awww. Andrew, I love how you read that really slowly. That was beautiful.

Laura: That was nice.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: I – I – that was a really nice story. I just want to say that my idol – ever since the movie Patch Adams came out with Robin Williams in it, I have always tried to benefit people’s health with entertainment.

Andrew: They do say laughing is the best medicine.

Jamie: Except – except if like – except if it’s like, you’ve broken your leg and you start laughing, it’s not going to mend itself.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: I have a really bad heart condition.

Andrew: That’s our goal here at MuggleCast. To save lives.

Jamie: Yeah. To mend broken legs.

Andrew: That’s what it comes down to.

Jamie: If your leg’s broken…

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Jamie: …just find a page of jokes and read them all and you’ll be walking in no time.

Andrew: Yeah, so, not in that sense, Jamie. It like, stimulates – stimulates your something-or-other. Yeah, so ever since we started this cute little segment, we’ve been getting lots of submissions. So, keep sending them in. Keep making us – no. Keep…

Eric: Warming our hearts. Warming our hearts.

Andrew: Nah, you know, just do whatever.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Show Close

Andrew [Show Close with music in background]: Next week on MuggleCast will be Chapter 11 of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone called “Quidditch.” Anyway, so that does wrap up MuggleCast 36. Once again, I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I am Ben Schoen…

[Phone rings]

Ben: …and my phone’s ringing, too.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: That’s not my phone.

Andrew: Okay, anyone else want to say bye?

Laura: Eric?

Jamie: No, I’m waiting – I’m waiting until the end.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Jamie: I’m so used to going last I’m just going to wait.

Eric: No, Jamie, go before me.

Jamie: Go on, Eric, go on, Laura, go on.

Eric: No, no, Jamie go before me.

Jamie: No, no.

Eric: I refuse to outro myself until Jamie goes.

Jamie: Same here, same here. This episode is going to be like, ten hours long because there’s no way I’m going next.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Laura, are you next?

Laura: I’m waiting for Eric to go.

Jamie: Eric, Eric, go.

Eric: I already went. I said, “that’s not my phone.”

Laura: Oh my god, okay. I’m so sorry, Jamie. I’m Laura Thompson.

Jamie: Yay, thank you. Eric? I’m Eric Scull and I’m Jamie Lawrence – last again. Thank you very much.

[Andrew, Eric, and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Thanks for listening everyone. We will see you next week for Episode 37.

Eric: You’re so clever, Jamie.


[Music starts]

[Audio]: Hi, my name is Alison and I’m from New Orleans and currently I am sitting in JFK International Airport and I have about five hours to go until my next flight, but you guys can help me waste an hour – over an hour. Thanks so much, MuggleCast! Bye!

[Audio]: Hey MuggleCast, this is John from Kansas. You guys are so cool. One day I had a really bad day. When I listened to MuggleCast, it cheered me up. Thanks a lot, guys! Bye!

[Audio]: Hi this is Bridget from Arkansas and I know that Kevin just had his birthday and Eric’s is coming up, so I just wanted to give them a birthday wish. [sings] Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy Birthday, Kevin and Eric. Happy Birthday to you. I love you guys! Bye!

[Audio]: Hi this is Rashmi from the Caribbean and I just wanted to wish both Kevin and Eric a happy, happy, happy birthday. I love you guys and I love the show!

[Music ends]


Micah: And Jim McManus is set to play Aberforth Dumbledore in Order of the Phoenix, confirming that Dumbledore’s goat-loving brother [laughs] will indeed appear in the fifth film. [laughs] Goat-loving. Sometimes you just can’t write that any better.


Written by: Micah, Ally, Amanda, Jessica, Rhiannon, Roni, and Sarah

Episode 36: Gonna Die Anyways

  • Snape…good or evil?
  • Could Snape be just working for himself?
  • The debate over Malfoy knowing of Filch’s presence is finished
  • Discussion on the delivery of the Nimbus 2000
  • Why doesn’t Oliver know what basketball is?
  • What will Harry do after Hogwarts?
  • We already know that Jo doesn’t enjoy writing about Quidditch, and now we find the proof in the books
  • Please Jo: Make Harry a hot dog vendor!
  • What are the requirements for nonverbal spells?
  • Laura proves the crazy I-Hate-Harry-Potter-Georgian-Lady wrong.
  • The house points system
  • Why did the editors want to cut the troll scene?
  • Is your first wand the best wand?
  • Veritaserum: is THE truth told?
  • DaVinci Code discussion
  • Is the boggart seen in its original form when Mad-Eye spots it?
  • Collectormania podcast update

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Running time: 1:08:18, 23.8 MB

Transcript 035

MuggleCast EP35 Transcript


Andrew [Show Intro with music in background]: Holy Horcrux – it’s MuggleCast – Episode 35 for April 16th, 2006! At USA Network, characters are welcome. You’ve got what it takes to be a star. Can you believe that? Because I sure can’t – no offense. Enter the 2006 “Show Us Your Character Contest” to find out if you’re America’s most unique character and you could win a chance to be featured on the computer screen, the TV screen, and even the big screen! Enter MuggleNet and USA Network’s Character Competition by visiting MuggleNet.com and clicking on “Competitions” on the left.

See why GoDaddy.com is the No. 1 domain registrar world-wide. Now with your domain registration, you’ll get hosting, a free blog, complete e-mail and much more. Plus, as a MuggleCast listener enter the code “RON”; that’s R-O-N when you check out and get your dot com domain name for just $6.95 per year. Visit GoDaddy.com today.

Hello everyone and welcome back to the show. I am Andrew Sims.

Ben: I am Ben Schoen.

Kevin: I’m Kevin Steck.

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

Jamie: Why am I always last? [laughs]

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: And I’m Jamie Lawrence. Honestly, I’m last every single time.

Andrew: Before we go anywhere else, first let’s check in with Micah Tan for the past week’s top Harry Potter news stories.


Micah [Intro to The Today Show begins playing]: From Studio 1A in…

Laura: Whoa, whoa, whoa, [laughs] Micah, what are you doing?

Micah: Huh?

Laura: This is MuggleCast, not The Today Show.

Micah: Oh, that’s right.

Starting this Wednesday, the National Portrait Gallery in London will display a new portrait of Dan Radcliffe among 40 other pieces of artwork. Dan’s piece in particular was created by Stuart Pearson Wright, who is most remembered for his depiction of JK Rowling last September. Dan originally posed for the sketch when he was 14.

Not only has Harry Potter changed the world in a drastic way by encouraging child literacy on an international scale, but it has also left quite an impact on the publishers of its books. Saturday’s Guardian Unlimited said:

“Once, Bloomsbury was a small, well-respected, independent publisher. Now, thanks to JK Rowling’s phenomenal success, it has more money than it knows how to spend.”

Speaking of JK Rowling, The Mail last Sunday criticized JK Rowling’s recent article about our skinny-obsessed world and how magazines glorify being thin. The headline of the controversial article reads:

“If you loathe the ‘skinny obsessed’ world so much, JK, why did you make evil Dudley Dursley so FAT?”

Following this criticism of JK Rowling and her article, the MuggleNet staff felt that a response was needed to let them know what genuine Harry Potter fans thought about the issue. This reply was written by Andy (the Encyclopedia boss) and can be found in the Encyclopedia Opinion section.

A new book written by Willa Shalit, entitled Becoming Myself: Reflections on Growing Up Female, includes an essay from JK Rowling about growing up female. The book also contains essays from 66 other women, writing about the same subject. The April 24th edition of People Magazine contains an excerpt of her essay.

Girlguiding Scotland, an organization that enables girls and young women to fulfill their potential, is conducting interviews with 100 inspirational women. Harry Potter author JK Rowling is among those being interviewed. The interview is scheduled for May 1.

Stanislav Ianevski (Viktor Krum) and Tolga Safer (Karkaroff’s aide) will be attending the Elf Fantasy Fair later this month. The fair will be held the 22nd and 23rd of April in the Netherlands. Stan will be giving lectures while he is there. Additionally, Rupert Grint, along with James and Oliver Phelps, will be appearing on the Jo Whiley show on April 19th, that’s this Wednesday. The show airs between 10 AM and 12:45 PM on BBC Radio 1 in the UK.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, will be released in Germany on July 12th, 2007. This is one day earlier than the US and UK because movies in Germany are released on Thursday.

That’s all the news for this April 16th, 2006 edition of MuggleCast. Back to the show.

[NBC Theme plays]

Andrew: All right, thank you, Micah.


Andrew: Now, let’s get to a couple of announcements real quick and then we’ll keep moving along. Don’t forget MuggleCast T-shirts – you have to buy one or else you can’t listen to the show, which is the new rule around here. We’re all wearing our shirts right now. I wear them to school and I actually get noticed for once.

Kevin: Yeah, when the apples hit your head.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, also, don’t forget – a final reminder to RSVP for Lumos 2006.

Jamie: Lumos.

Andrew: Our next LIVE podcast will be held in Las Vegas, Nevada. RSVP by sending an e-mail to hp live at gmail dot com and then say, “Hey, I’m going with so-and-so many people,” [clears throat] so we can guess – well, not guess. So we can estimate how many people are going to be showing up.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Guess – I don’t think we want to guess.

Jamie: Guesstimate. Why don’t we just guess anyway?

Andrew: Yeah. What?

Jamie: Instead of asking people to RSVP, let’s just guess.

Andrew: All right.

Kevin: Yeah, that’s not a bad idea.

Jamie: Then we’ll know then. Guess, guess.

Andrew: I guess – I guess 500.

Ben: Bad joke – bad joke, Jamie.

Andrew: Moving on, there is a new feature over at MuggleCast.com and it’s a little “About Us” page that features everyone else who works on MuggleCast, including our new MuggleCast editor, JP – who also works over at Veritaserum.com and does VTM Live, which is Veritaserum‘s every-other-weekly news show. And the new “About Us” page is also where you can find a little information on each of the transcribers because [laughs] Micah is actually a poser, he doesn’t do any of the transcribing – it’s a few other people. No, I kid. He’s not a poser. He leads the group of transcribers, and they do a great job and it’s about time we feature them, so visit MuggleCast.com and there’s a little tab that says something that relates to [laughs] “Meet the MuggleCast Staff” that we haven’t put up yet.

Listener Rebuttal – Exchange Rate

Andrew: All right, now moving on to Listener Rebuttals for this week. The first one comes from Darianna, 16, of Fall River, Massachusetts. She writes:

“On Episode 33, Jamie mentions how Snape, who lives among Muggles, get some essentials that he cannot just use magic to get. He mentioned that Snape cannot just walk into a Muggle store and use Galleons, Sickles, and Knuts or “k-noots,” but in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Chapter Four: At Flourish and Blott’s, pg. 57 US Edition, Mr. Weasley is all excited because Hermione’s parents are in Diagon Alley. He says, ‘”What’s that you’ve got there? Oh, you’re changing Muggle money. Molly, look!” He pointed excitedly at the ten pound notes in Mr. Granger’s hand.’ So, you can clearly convert Muggle money to Wizarding money in Gringotts. Still love your show. Bye.”

So, there’s our answer.

Jamie: Does he actually mean changing it, like exchanging it? Because I doubt there is like a cash changing place at Flourish and Blott’s.

Laura: Couldn’t he just Apparate to Diagon Alley and get what he needs.

Jamie: The thing – the voicemail said Flourish and Blott’s, didn’t it? Okay, anyway, anyway, oh right, okay then – perhaps there is then, there probably is. That sounds like a good plan, yeah – I mean a good theory.

Listener Rebuttal – Quirrell And Voldemort

Andrew: All right, this next listener rebuttal comes from Valerie of New York. She writes:

In Episode 34, you were discussing Quirrell and why Voldemort was sticking out of his head. If you look at the end of Book 1 on pg. 291 of the American version, you will see that Quirrell states that Voldemort placed himself on the back of Quirrell’s head to keep a closer watch on him after his failed attempt of stealing the stone from Gringotts; not because they ran out of dinner discussion topics! [laughs] Thanks and I love your show!

There is another answer that we would have gotten to, except for we’re not up to that part of Sorcerer’s Stone yet.

Kevin: And we actually have a voicemail regarding that.

Listener Rebuttal – The Astronomy Tower

Andrew: Davis, 11, from Texas writes:

You said they only use the Astronomy tower in the fifth book, but what about in the first when they give Norbert, Hagrid’s pet dragon to Charlie’s friends who were going to visit Charlie in Romania. In the book it says that they went to the tallest tower to send Norbert with Charlie’s friends. Wouldn’t that probably be the Astronomy tower since that would be the best place to see the stars.

Laura: I think we were talking about classes, in reference to using the Astronomy tower.

Kevin: Yeah, the tower. When we said that we haven’t seen the Astronomy tower, we were saying it in reference to classes. Like we’ve seen them in Defense Against the Dark Arts a lot and stuff like that, but not in Astronomy or at the tower.

Listener Rebuttal – Release Dates

Andrew: Elizabeth, 31, from Florida writes:

Hi guys, Listening to you all talk about the release date of the next movie and what it might mean for the release of Book 7. I couldn’t help but think you were looking at it the wrong way. Scholastic and Bloomsbury are not going to make their decisions based on what WB is doing. They have their own bottom line and profits to think about. There is no way Book 7 isn’t going to be a huge success, no matter when it’s released. What will determine when we will see it will be how fast JKR is writing, how long it takes to edit and print, and the logistics of getting it out and into stores. I don’t think we will see them on the same day, but I don’t think the same summer would be out of the question.

Ben: Right. Actually, last week when I was listening to the show (since I was absent with my ACT studies), when I listened to the show, some of you wisenheimers on here thought you had it all figured out. You’re saying, “Oh, yeah, there’s no way they would release them the same summer. Oh, no way. Oh, I know for sure. There’s no way they release them the same summer.” Well, you know what? You’re wrong. I think so. I think you’re wrong. Last time I said I thought you guys were wrong, I ended up being right.

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: So, I’m 1-0, but anyway, I just think – when else is she going to release the book? She said on her site around New Year’s that 2006 will be the year that she writes the new Harry Potter book, the final Harry Potter. So, I just can’t see her waiting until 2008 to release it. And the book has to be released during the summertime – it’s like a tradition. It’s an unwritten rule. They have to be released during the summertime. I’d be very disappointed if the book was released November or December. I just see it happening during the summertime. And it probably won’t end up being July 07th, 2007, which Eric seemed to be really gung ho about.

Kevin: Yeah, a lot of people are.

Ben: But I think it will be sometime next summer. And I don’t know, I’m pretty excited about it, actually. I’m looking forward to one month having the book release and the next month going to a movie premiere. I think that will be fun.

Kevin: I definitely agree. And I think that all it would do is good for the industry because the hype. You build hype, so, you know?

Andrew: Well, I disagree with Elizabeth. She’s saying: “Scholastic and Bloomsbury are not going to make their decisions based on what WB is doing. They have their own bottom line and profits to think about.” They have to talk to each other! [laughs]

Ben: Okay, but seriously, it’d be a big Harry Potter extravaganza for the entire summer. They’re going to – they’re going to make millions upon millions of dollars. Why not have – why not release the book the same time you’re releasing the movie? Because the book’s going to attract a lot of interest, and then of course the movie will attract a lot of interest. And then – no! And then they’re going to basically cross-promote each other, and they’re going to generate revenue for each of them.

Jamie: They’re interested to release them both at the same time?

Ben: Yeah.

Kevin: Not necessarily at the same time, though.

Jamie: No, of course not!

Kevin: Because then one profit can take away from the other.

Jamie: Yeah, no, exactly. They should do it quite a long time apart.

Kevin: They should stagger it by maybe a month or two.

Jamie: That’s too soon! That’s too soon!

Kevin: I don’t think so.

Ben: Well, why is it too soon, Jamie?

Jamie: Sorry?

Ben: Are you – do you – do you have some Potter-phobia here, Jamie?

Jamie: Some what?

Ben: Why is – why is it too soon, huh?

Jamie: Because…

Ben: I’m just curious why you think it’s too soon to release the book and the movie.

Jamie: The hype from a film doesn’t wear off before – you know, in just a month. It takes ages to wear off. You’ve got the DVD; you’ve got posters from it, all that kind of thing. If you release the book…

Kevin: Yeah, but they’re not going to wait for the release of the DVD.

Jamie: But if you – but if you release the book, say, a month after the film, the DVD would come three – no, no, a month after that. And there’s no way the hype from the book would die down enough to generate enough interest in people buying the DVD, so the DVD sales would lose out. You’ve got to absolutely stagger them.

Ben: No. Here’s where you’re wrong, Jamie.

Jamie: Oh, I’m sorry, God. Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong?

Ben: I am God. I am God. [laughs] I love you, Jamie. But here’s what I’m saying. In a way, they’re going to be able to cross…

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: …cross-promote each other. I mean, this – this is the Harry Potter phenomenon. There’s millions upon millions of fans. There’s still going to be the same kind of people who are the hardcore people who are going to go out and buy the DVD. Except now, instead of going out to buy the DVD, they’re going to go out and buy a copy of the book and the DVD, or they’re going to go see the movie. I don’t see – I understand what you’re saying, that it may be too much. But I still think it’d be the most profitable – most, yeah – the most profits they’d ever see.

Jamie: Why don’t they release the film at ten o’clock and release the book at 10:05?

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Andrew: That’ll confuse every single Harry Potter fan. “Book or movie first? I don’t know!”

[Ben and Laura laugh]

Ben: Yeah, you’d have to… Kevin, you were going to say something?

Kevin: Yeah. How long does it take them to release a DVD?

Jamie: I don’t know.

Ben: Like, three or four months.

Kevin: Okay. Yeah. So, if they release the book and then a month later release the movie in theaters, then you still have plenty of time for the hype to die down. And the movie, the movie can hype the book, saying, “go out and purchase a book,” when the book can hype the movie, saying “go out and see the movie in a month.”

Jamie: I don’t think that’s right, though, because you need to have the hype concentrated around one thing, like literature or film. So, like, you see in the news for, say, two months after the book is released, all things about the book, linked to the book. You see sort of awards for the book, you see it on the short list, you see it on opinion polls and all that kind of thing. If you cross the movies and the books, you’re going to have sort of – I don’t know, sort of mixed news items. And they are going to take away from one of them.

Ben: Okay, okay. Hear me out here. This MuggleCast episode is going to make history, okay? This is a historical MuggleCast moment right here. I want all of the MuggleCast listeners to get out a pen and write this down. The release – the release of the seventh Harry Potter book will be on June 16, 2007. Mark my words. Because I decided, okay? I have some inside information directly from Jo. Let’s just put it that way. No, I’m kidding. [laughs] No. I just have a – I just have a hunch, okay? That it will be June 16, 2007.

[Laura sighs]

Ben: And if that’s not right, it will be released during the month of June.

Laura: I’m just not sure [sighs]. I’m just not sure the book’s going to be ready by next summer because when you take into account the fact that it took her three years to write Order of the Phoenix and two years to write Half-Blood Prince, I’m just not sure that she could not only get the book written in one year, but then you have to consider the two or three months of editing, the printing, the cover art, the chapter art, just everything that goes into getting it ready to publish.

Ben: [sighs] I disagree here. I disagree here. This is the Harry Potter phenomenon.

Jamie: Why don’t we just have a fight to settle it?

[Laura laughs]

Ben: Jo’s in, Jo’s in a groove right now. Jo’s in a groove right now. She’s soaring. I mean, I have a feeling – I am counting on Summer 2007. If I don’t have Summer 2007… If I…

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Yeah. I’ll have to spend – I’ll spend all of June at Andrew’s house, if it…

Laura: Frankly, I don’t want her to rush. I don’t want her to rush at all.

Andrew: I don’t think she’s going to rush because I – I see it this way. She says she’s all fine and dandy with how writing is going now. All right. So by the end of the year, she says, “All right, I’m nearly complete,” and/or complete, like she did – what, it was two years ago, right? Yeah. It was two years ago. So then after that, there’s about a six to seven month preparation time where everything’s – the cover, the [sighs] you know, the publicity, the…yeah. But there’s going to be hype no matter what, for both the book and the movie, because they’re both so huge. And if people are worrying about, “Oh, they’re going to spend their money on Book 7 and then they’re going to have no money to go see the movie,” they’re going to be spending 40 bucks tops, food not included, to…

Laura: It’s not the marketing that I’m doubting. I just – I’m having a hard time imagining the book being ready by next summer, just seeing as she only started writing it in January.

Kevin: Yeah, but Laura, if it’s ready by next summer, I believe they’re going to release it whether or not the movie’s coming out that…

Laura: I don’t think that’s impossible. I don’t think that’s impossible at all.

Ben: Okay. But another thing is what you have to remember is that Jo was able to with a remarkable turnaround from Chamber of Secrets to Prisoner of Azkaban. I mean, I know it wasn’t as hyped as much as it is now, but still, she was able to write those books within a year of each other.

Laura: Yeah, but they’re also much shorter books.

Ben: No, no! Especially from the transition – the Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban was released in 1999. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire was released in 2000. There, that proves to you that she’s able to make a remarkable turnaround.

Laura: But at that time, she didn’t have two children under the age of five.

Jamie: It’s not only that, Ben, but…

Ben: So? So she said that she already took time off to do that. To take – to spend time with her children.

Laura: [laughs] So she’s supposed to ignore them now?

Ben: Yeah, she just ignores them now!

[Andrew, Jamie, and Laura laugh]

Jamie: Yeah, she doesn’t ever talk to them. She just leaves them to her husband.

Kevin: Yeah, but I don’t think it’s the length of the book that matters…

Jamie: No, of course it’s not.

Kevin: It’s whether she has inspiration for it. You know, like how she’s…

Jamie: It’s planned as well. It’s planned.

Andrew: [laughs] I think – I think, yeah. She has it planned out. But I think she has plenty of inspiration to keep her going for…

Kevin: Yeah, but you know what I mean. I mean, it’s…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: What are you laughing at?

Kevin: You can get in a…

Andrew: Look out front of her house on the street, and I bet there’s going to be 50 million people out there waiting for her. And then she’ll feel inspired.

Ben: Right. And the other thing is – and another thing is, we have to remember, we have to remember that JK Rowling – everyone knows how she is. She’s a big planner. She has the whole series planned out; she knows what’s going to happen. It’s not like it’s – right. It’s not a mystery to her, so she knows – she has a good idea of what’s going to continue to happen in each chapter. Of course there’ll be changes along the way, but she still has some reasonable idea of what’s going to go on in each and every chapter. So that’s why I think that the book – if it’s not released during 2007, I’ll probably be really, really surprised.

Andrew: The one thing I’m concerned about that I think could really just delay this book is Jo finalizing everything. Because it’s sort of like when you’re doing a report or something and you just finish it, and you’re like, “Oh wait, do I have anything that I want to add in or take out?” It’s just like – because she’s closing it all up, she’s not going to be able to say anything else. I mean, she will, but not in its book form. So, I just think she’s going to be paranoid over, “Is this it, do I really want to finish it with this revision and draft?” You know?

Ben: Well, she knows she’s going to have to let go some time, though.

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: Right.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: It’s completely different to, like, a book report, though, because it’s going out to so many people. But…

Andrew: That adds to the pressure.

Jamie: Yeah, but also, she has to… Yeah, but she has to go back and go through every other book and make sure that what she’s writing in this one ties in with that, because it’s been a long, long time since she brought out the first book. She just has to make sure everything ties up every single loose end. Every single, sort of, theme, that she’s had running throughout the entire books has to continue into this one, and everything has to flow, so…

Ben: Mhm.

Jamie: It’s a monumental task. A year is going to be…

Ben: Oh course, but it’s the same thing… But you have to remember it’s the same thing for Book 6, that she had to do all the same exact things for Book 6.

Jamie: No, it isn’t exactly the same. That’s not true.

Kevin: Because she has to close everything.

Ben: No, she doesn’t. There’s no way she could close everything.

Jamie: She is going to close everything.

Kevin: Well, she’s not going to close necessarily everything, but she wants to close most of the threads that she’s started. So, she has to make sure she does a thorough job of doing that; otherwise people are not going to be satisfied with it.

Laura: Not to mention – don’t you guys remember – right before Order of the Phoenix, like the year before it came out, she was pretty much done with the book, but she said, “I want a bit more of a tweak.” And we didn’t see it for another year.

Kevin: Yeah…yep.

Ben: Right, but Order of the Phoenix was… It took her three years to finish that book.

Laura: Yeah, exactly, I’m just not sure…

Ben: I know, but, she had some serious problems with that one, and…

Laura: Like what?

Kevin: Yeah.

Ben: I don’t think – I don’t know if she was really pleased with the results. Of course she had writer’s block or something. I mean, there’s some reason why it took her three years to write it and I know a lot of people like Book 5, but, for example…

Jamie: I loved Book 5.

Ben: …Emerson didn’t like the book.

[Andrew gasps]

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: Jo, don’t worry Jo. It was my favorite book.

[Jamie still laughing]

Laura: I don’t know why people didn’t like it, but whatever. No, the thing is, I don’t think…

Ben: Because it took forever.

Laura: Well, yeah. It was – [laughs] – it’s the longest book in the series.

Jamie: Ben, why doesn’t she just sell her children? Then she could start writing all the time.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: That’s what you’d like, isn’t it Ben?

Ben: Okay, okay. She can spend two hours a day playing with the kids.

Kevin: Oh my god.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: And then she can spend…

Jamie: Oh Ben!

Ben: Then she can spend another twelve writing the last Harry Potter book.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: When she…

Ben: She can’t eat, she can’t drink.

[Everyone laughs]

Chapter-by-Chapter: Chapter 9, Sorcerer’s Stone

Andrew: Now, moving on to Chapter-by-Chapter this week, we will be discussing Chapter 9 of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. This Chapter is called “The Midnight Duel” for an evil prank that Draco plays on Harry.

Chapter 9 – The Midnight Duel

Andrew: Was it a prank or was Draco, like, tipped off? I mean, was, like, Draco planning on going?

Laura: Well, Hermione said that Draco tipped Filch off.

Andrew: Well, he could have been planning on going and then he saw Filch so he ran back.

Laura: I don’t think so.

Andrew: All right, so… [laughs]

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: So, we start of here with “The Midnight Duel” and…

[Telephone rings in the distance]

Laura: Oh my god.

Andrew: Is that the British phone?

Jamie: No, it’s not. No, it’s not.

Laura: No, that’s the American phone. That’s the Georgian phone.

Andrew: Wow, it sounds British.

Jamie: Andrew, you can’t tell…

Laura: Amazing.

Jamie: …your phone accents, what’s wrong with you?

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: It sounds like your phone.

[Telephone still ringing]

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: You call yourself a professional phone…

Ben: That sounds like a phone from the 1950’s…

Laura: Does not!

Ben: Like one of those that hangs up on the…

Andrew: Sort of does. All right…

Madam Hooch, Flying Lessons and Quidditch

Jamie: The first line when it says – this is what I picked up first and foremost – when it says, “Harry had never believed he would meet a boy he hated more than Dudley.” I just thought the word “boy” had to be kind of significant since he can’t, sort of hate Dudley or Malfoy as much as he hates Voldemort, and now, Snape.

Andrew: All right, so the beginning of this chapter is focused around Quidditch and Harry’s first flying lessons that he has with Madam Pomfrey…[long pause]…Hooch.

Kevin: Pomfrey!

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Madam Hooch.

Andrew: I looked around my room for a second…

Ben: Madam Pomfrey?

Andrew: It’s all right.

Laura: I was wondering, did you guys notice that she has – described her as having “yellow eyes like a hawk.” And I was wondering if it was possible that she was a Metamorphmagus or something.

Ben: Oh yeah.

Jamie: Oh yeah, as a hawk, yeah.

Laura: Yeah but have we ever seen anyone whose characteristics change just be cause they were an Animagus?

Andrew: No, I think it’s just to symbolize that she’s a good flyer.

Laura: I just thought it was interesting because we haven’t really seen anyone else in this series, who was human, who had unusual characteristics like that apart from Tonks.

Ben: What about Umbridge?

Laura: Well, she has striking characteristics to a toad, but her eyes aren’t purple, you know? I just thought it was an interesting…

Ben: You’re a magical person – you have magic blood in you, there’s bound to be something crazy about you.

Andrew: Yeah, that’s true.

Laura: I guess.

Ben: I have the inside track.

Kevin: I agree with Laura.

Ben: I have the inside track of Jo’s…

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: We see people every day who kind of have sort of striking resemblances to various animals, I mean, that’s a human thing.

Ben: Mhm. You look like a dog.

[Everyone laughs, except Laura]

Laura: Thanks, Ben.

Ben: [Still laughing] I’m just kidding! I’m just kidding!

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: I’m just kidding, Laura.

Laura: Yeah Ben, you look like a sloth, but no one ever makes fun of you for that.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: A sloth look. I look like a swan. A huge swan.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: I’m so graceful.

Kevin: Wow.

Andrew: All right. All right, so Harry’s at his flying lessons and one of the first things that I found most interesting in this chapter was the quote where it says, Harry picks up the broom and he said, “Harry knew, somehow, what to do” with the broom. What does this mean? Does this mean he is – this is his first connection to his father?

Jamie: No, it just means that he’s a natural flyer.

Kevin: It’s natural, it’s a natural…

Laura: Mhm.

Ben: It’s like the first time you get on a bike.

Jamie: Who, Ben? Who can get on a bike and start riding?

Ben: Well, actually, hold on a second. Let me get in my drawer and pull out my list of the names of people who succeeded on their first bike ride.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: I have an entire directory of people for you. I don’t know, I mean, I’m sure there’s people that can do it, just like – it’s like throwing a baseball. I’m just saying that some things come naturally to certain people. Some people excel at certain things.

Andrew: Actually, I was thinking that this line was [laughs] a way of foreshadowing what was to come.

Jamie: Yeah, and Andrew, that is backed up by where it starts saying, “Harry ignores her, blood was pounding in his ears. He mounted the broom and kicked hard against the ground and up, up he soared, air rushed through his hair and his robes whipped out behind him, and in a rush of fierce joy he realized he’d found something he could do without being taught. This was easy, this was wonderful.” So, Ben, do you think that they should get some people just to climb into jumbo jets and start flying because it comes naturally to them?

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: Okay, flying a jet is a lot more complicated than flying a car, dude.

Jamie: What about just before he kicks off into the air, it gives a description of how bad the broomstick is. It says that, “Harry glanced down at his broom. It was old and some of the twigs stuck out at odd angles.” Do you think that’s just merely a comparison with his Firebolt so when we get to see his Firebolt and his Nimbus 2000, it just makes it even more impressive?

Ben: Yeah, that’s probably why.

Kevin: Yeah, definitely.

Laura: Well yeah, but we also know that they’re school brooms and that a lot of different people use them, so they’re likely to be pretty beat up.

Kevin: I think it’s reiterating that he has natural talent.

Jamie: Yeah, but is that…

Ben: Agreed.

Kevin: And the fact that he’s a first year and he’s getting a position that normally, what, third years would get?

Jamie: Yeah, third, I guess.

Kevin: It’s showing that some superiority over that of third years, you know?

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: I also think it’s something that Harry needed to kind of prove that he is special and he is talented, because he feels like he’s famous for something he can’t even remember.

The Trophy Room

Jamie: I was going to say, why is the trophy room always unlocked? Is it just so people can walk in and admire them and say, like, you know…or some other reason? I don’t know.

Ben: Hmmm. Maybe it’s in a foyer area.

Jamie: No, it’s not. It’s a trophy room.

Andrew: No, it’s called the trophy… Yeah, it’s called the trophy…

Jamie: The trophy foyer.

Ben: It’s called the trophy foyer.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: The trophy foyer.

Kevin: Now, Jamie, are you referring to the fact that people may steal the trophies or something?

Jamie: Yeah, yeah people may steal them or…yeah, but…

Kevin: You don’t think that there’s protections on them?

Ben: No, there’s no protections at all. They just have them sitting right there in the open.

Kevin: That’s what I’m saying, like…

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: But, Kevin, like if there’s protection on them, why are other rooms locked as well? Because, surely there’s, like – there can’t be every single room in the entire thing…

Kevin: Because there’s some rooms that aren’t meant for the kids to see.

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: I mean, for example, the Potions storage closet. You need to have that locked. You can’t have kids snooping around the…

Jamie: That’s true. To a first year who, like, doesn’t know much magic, a locked door is probably more powerful than the incantations because Dumbledore’s protection would beat even the most powerful of wizards, but a first year, like, just a locked door seems simpler.

Kevin: But go into any school, I mean, the majority of locked doors would be either systems rooms or administrative rooms where the teachers hang out.

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: You know, it’s not…

Ben: Yeah, the majority of the – yeah, right, the majority of schools have there trophies enchanted too.

[Everyone laughs]

Kevin: Yeah, that’s true. It’s called an alarm system. You pick them up and it goes off.

Ben: Well, maybe there’s a lock on the trophy cabinets instead of a – so they can still be admired. Do you get what I’m saying?

Kevin: Right.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: Jamie, maybe – Jamie, maybe the incantation to lock it or whatever was actually on the cabinets where you slide to open it as opposed to the door to enter the room.

Jamie: Or perhaps there is a spell of bulletproof and spell-proof glass that’s just in front of it, and, and, and a sheet of ultraviolet glass so the sun can’t damage the trophies. Perhaps…

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: Perhaps, I’m just speculating here, but it could be.

Andrew: But no – but seriously…

Laura: I just think it was convenient. [laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, what’s so unbelievable about there being glass around the trophies?

Ben: Well, I think – don’t you think it makes logical sense that Snape could just unlock the cabinets?

Jamie: Yeah, it does.

Ben: It’s not really rocket science. There is no use speculating over this I think. Jamie, you bring up a good point about the locked doors but in terms of the specific – the specific scenario with the trophy room, I feel, rather, that the door was locked…

Jamie: I was actually joking when I was talking about UV glass, Ben, I must admit now.

Don’t Do THE Wrong Thing

Andrew: Another thing I wanted to point out was that there was a couple references where – I think it was just Harry – there’s this automatic assumption, and it seems like it’s probably among all first years, that if you do one wrong thing, boom, you’re automatically out of Hogwarts.

Kevin: Oh yeah.

Jamie: The wrong thing, did you say?

Andrew: Like, yeah, something out of line, inappropriate, whatever. Like sneaking out at night, like they were doing to meet up with Draco.

Jamie: Oh right, oh right. Yeah, you’d think that like, sneaking out wouldn’t actually be that bad because they can’t expect you to, to just stay in your dorms all night. It just seems weird. If you’re at a castle, you just expect people to walk around. Like in University, where I am, you aren’t expected to stay in. You walk around, you go outside at 4:00 AM if you want to. You can walk around the inside of the institution.

Kevin: Yeah, but how old are you?

Jamie: I am 87, Ben, I mean Kevin.

Kevin: Oh, okay.

Ben: [laughs] Right, but another thing is that they may act that way just because they don’t want to screw up and make anybody mad. If you know what I’m saying? You don’t want to leave a poor impression your first time there.

Andrew: Mhm.

Jamie: Yeah, but it just seems terrible that there locked in – well I don’t want to say locked but in their dorms all night. If they actually needed to keep them there, why didn’t they put an incantations on them? I mean, It could be just…

Ben: Because that destroys all the trust, because – Jamie, that destroys all the trust involved…

Jamie: Don’t get philosophical, Ben.

Ben: …because everything’s about trust. If you locked them in there, you would never be able to truly assess their ability to follow the rules.

Kevin: Not to mention, what if there’s a fire?

Ben: Yeah.

Kevin: You just locked all the children in.

Ben: Oh yeah.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: If there’s a fire – yeah, that’s true.

Laura: Not to mention..

Andrew: No, but…

Laura: It’s expected.

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: It’s expected that students are going to escape out. So…

Jamie: Exactly. Yeah, it’s expected. Why don’t they steal some nice CCTV camera’s hooked up to Dumbledore’s laptop.

[Jamie and Andrew laugh]

Andrew: Dumbledore’s laptop.

Jamie: Dumbledore’s laptop.

Kevin: Okay yeah, let’s move on.

Andrew: Well, no, I just wanted to say that I remember reading – someone said, I wish I remembered who it was, but someone mentions that it’s for their own good. So, there’s some idea – they have an idea as why they’re suppose to be staying in.

Jamie: Yeah, okay.

Andrew: Obviously there’s dangers at Hogwarts and they want to keep them inside them inside the common rooms…

Jamie: Okay. Yeah okay, fair enough.

Andrew: …and bedrooms.

Ben: That’s because Dumbledore and McGonagall are shagging in the Great Hall.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: Don’t want people walking in on them.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Dumbledore waved his wand at McGonagall.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: All four tables flew to the side.

The Blood Baron Bodyguard?

Jamie: Neville is sleeping by the Gryffindor dorm room and Hermione, Ron, and Harry walk past. Why did he say the Bloody Baron had been past twice? No, no, no, sorry, why had the Bloody Baron been past twice? It seems like a weird quote just to include for no reason. Is there a reason for why he came past?

Ben: Well, Mr. Scull…

Andrew: Does he use some [laughs] Mr. Scull. Does he do some sort of patrolling along the corridors at night?

Laura: That’s what I figured.

Jamie: Yeah, but he seems like such a nasty character. Do you really think he’s being used for students’ safety?

Andrew: Well, he could just be cruising around Hogwarts.

Ben: What else can you do if you’re a ghost?

Laura: The impression I’ve gotten of the Bloody Baron was that he’s kind of territorial, and we also know that he absolutely hates Peeves. So, it wouldn’t surprise me that he was patrolling the castle to make sure nothing was going on.

Kevin: He hates him because he can’t…

Laura: Well, I’m under the impression that he’s…

Jamie: No, no, no, no, he can control him. He can control him.

Ben: He can.

Laura: Yeah, he can.

Ben: Kevin Steck, read your Harry Potter books.

Laura: But I have a feeling that he was patrolling to keep Peeves and other things in line.

Ben: Or just patrolling because he’s a ghost and he’s bored and…

Jamie: Just imagine, you would get so bored being a ghost. You’d be like, play tennis but wouldn’t be able to hold the racket up because it would just fall through your hand.

Ben: Oh ho ho ho!

Jamie: Ghost tennis, I wonder if there’s a ghost tennis.

Andrew: The Bloody Baron doesn’t talk, right? Isn’t he like always nearly silent?

Jamie: We haven’t actually seen him enough to know if he’s silent or not, have we?

Laura: Well, I think he does talk, but I don’t think Harry’s ever heard it. Just something that happened at the end of the book.

Jamie: When Harry, and Hermione, and Ron – or was it just Harry and Ron? – were under the Invisibility Cloak, and Peeves was there and Harry put on that hoarse whisper and says, “Peeves, the Bloody Baron has his own reason’s for being invisible.” Peeves, no, no, well, he must talk because Peeves didn’t go, “Well, you haven’t ever spoken before, what’s brought this on?”

Kevin: That’s true.

Ben: Exactly. Yeah.

Andrew: Wasn’t Harry doing an impersonation?

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: Yeah, so Harry must have heard him before too.

Andrew: No, Harry could just be making it up.

Ben: Right, but he happened to be dead on though, you know?

Jamie: Yeah, big coincidence, big coincidence.

Andrew: Not really.

Ben: Mhm.

Andrew: Like perfect example, Ben imitates Micah all the time and is completely off.

Jamie: But he’s heard him, Andrew.

Andrew: But you hear him all the time.

Jamie: But you’ve heard, Ben…

Andrew: You don’t have to hear someone to imitate them though.

Jamie: What?!?!?

Andrew: I never…

Jamie: What do you mean you don’t have to hear someone? You mean Ben just put on the, [in deep voice] “Hey Micah” just on…

Andrew: No, you can come up – listen, you can come up with your own impersonation of him based on what you see. He’s some old guy, so what are you going to do – an old hoarse voice.

Ben: Yeah, but sometimes images can be deceiving though. For example, Robert Lloyd-Pack, I think it is, who played…

Jamie: Roger Lloyd-Pack.

Ben: Yeah, okay, he looks like a guy who would have a deep booming voice, but in reality he’s like [impersonates Roger Lloyd-Pack] “You will join the Magical Games Committee, or else! The Goblet of Fire has chosen four people, what, oh my, what will we do?”

[Everyone laughs]


Andrew: All right, so the biggest part of the chapter is when we’re introduced to Fluffy, the three-headed dog. Draco challenges Harry to a midnight duel in the trophy room, like we were just discussing, and Draco doesn’t show up to Harry’s disarray, Filch along with Mrs. Norris both show up. And that’s when they begin to run and run up to the third floor corridor where they get into the room where Hermione says, [impersonates Hermione] “Oh move over!” and they do a little spell. It’s a direct relation to the book although it’s interesting that they skipped the whole midnight duel thing, I think it would have been more interesting to see that.

Kevin: Yeah, me too.

Laura: Yeah, that was one of the things that I really wanted to see in that movie.

Jamie: What about the – we should talk about how Peeves talks to Filch in his sing-song voice. Now, I remember that on the site, somebody wrote that it just said, “Blah blah blah Peeves said in his sing-song voice.” But I checked in the British version and it said, “In his annoying sing-song voice.” Do you think there’s any reason they changed it in the American version if they did? I don’t know if they did, can somebody check it?

Andrew: Yeah, where is this?

Jamie: Just before they enter Fluffy’s corridor.

Kevin: Let’s see.

Ben: [impersonating Jamie’s accent] Corridor.

Jamie: It’s just they changed loads of small things, I just wonder if they really mean anything or if they just throwing lines for people to…

Kevin: In a saintly voice.

Jamie: Sorry, in what?

Kevin: A saintly voice.

Jamie: A saintly voice, it says?

Kevin: Yeah.

Jamie: Really?

Kevin: Yeah.

Jamie: Where does it say that?

Andrew: Well, saintly is…

Kevin: Unless – it says, “should tell…”

Jamie: Okay. One second, one second.

Kevin: Oh! Annoying singsong. I have annoying.

Jamie: Oh right, oh right. It is annoying. Okay. No, don’t worry then. I thought it was just singsong in the American edition.

Andrew: Well, I’m sure it’s the same as yours.

Kevin: Well, not necessarily.

Jamie: Andrew has a special Andrew copy.

Laura: No, it’s not. Kevin got a special one.

Jamie: Oh, okay then. Well yeah that’s just because – that’s why Harry, Ron, and Hermione didn’t get slaughtered as soon as they went into Fluffy’s den – because Peeves’ annoying singsong voice put him to sleep.

Ben: Good point.

Jamie: Things you may have missed.

Laura: Oh! I didn’t notice that!

Andrew: What? Are you sure about that?

Jamie: Yeah, it must be. Why do you think they didn’t walk in and then just – and he didn’t kill them all?

Andrew: He could be sleeping because he’s trapped in there all day. [laughs]

Jamie: Andrew, you can’t say that. Maybe he’s on his bloody laptop going on the Internet.

Andrew: No, stop. Be real.

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Ben: Stop with the laptops.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: No, honestly I think that that’s a really big possibility.

Ben: That’s a major plot point, too.

Andrew: But it’s not like Peeves is in there cackling and being loud and annoying for a good – maybe a minute. That can’t automatically put a dog to sleep.

Jamie: It’s a possibility, though.

Laura: Well, I don’t know. When they played the flute at the end, he went to sleep pretty fast.

Andrew: Well that’s because that was – they knew it was a flute that could put him to sleep.

Jamie: And it says, “It was…” – about Fluffy – “It was standing quite still, all six eyes staring at them, and Harry knew that the only reason they weren’t already dead was that their sudden appearance had taken it by surprise.” I don’t think that’s true. I think that’s there to make people think that, but it’s not – that isn’t true. It’s Peeves’ annoying singsong voice. Surely Dumbledore put Fluffy there so that if somebody came in, it wouldn’t think, “Wow,” you know, “Who are these people? I’ll wait for a couple of seconds, then I’ll kill them.” In case the person puts a spell on them or something.

Andrew: Yeah. All right, yeah, that’s an interesting point. Very clever.

Jamie: And…

Andrew: All right so they run into – they run – what’s next? There’s really nothing left.

Jamie: No, no, there is. There’s just…

Laura: Well, that’s also one of the largest mythological connections in the series. Because, yeah, he guarded the Underworld.

Jamie: I was going to say that. Yeah.

Laura: Well, that’s pretty much confirming the whole thing about the grubby little package from Vault 713 being under there.

Andrew: All right, well that does wrap up this week’s Chapter-by-Chapter. It was a smaller chapter. There wasn’t as much detail to get into – probably because Eric wasn’t here. He would’ve still been on pg. 1 if he was in this right now. Next week we will be reading Chapter 10 of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone titled “Halloween”. I’m sure there will be plenty to talk about in here.

Voicemail – Inside Quirrell’s Head

Andrew: Next up we have some general voicemail questions for you this week. Kevin, please roll the first one.

[Audio]: Hey this is Abby from Lawrenceville, Georgia and I think I have an answer for why Voldemort decided to hang out on the back of Quirrell’s head instead of some other random part of his body. Maybe, because he wasn’t very strong at the time, being on the back of Quirrell’s head was the only way Voldemort could control him. I mean, even if he couldn’t use the Imperius curse on Quirrell, literally being in his brain would probably have the same effect. I just wanted to know what you guys thought. I love you guys! Bye!

Jamie: But he wasn’t actually in his brain, was he? He was just on the back of his head.

Kevin: Yeah, but you are…

Jamie: Did he actually penetrate his brain or not?

Andrew: But Abby still does make a good point. He definitely was not strong enough to support his own body.

Ben: Some psychological effect on Quirrell.

Jamie: Did he have any power, Voldemort then? Did he have like – I mean – was it Quirrell that had to put him on his head? Or could he actually put himself on his head? Because Quirrell – instead of being – I mean, that must be a weird request [laughs]. Sorry.

Kevin: Yeah, but it wasn’t that. It was the fact – it’s Voldemort. You don’t say no. [laughs]

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah but if – but if say…

Kevin: The fear factor.

Jamie: I don’t know. Yeah, but if – think of somebody really scary – a real-life person.

Kevin: If Jack the Ripper told…

Jamie: If Jack the Ripper came up to you and said – and said, “Stick a knife in you,” and he was just a face on the ground, you wouldn’t do it, would you? But you’d be more likely to do it if he was a real person. He was, you know, massive.

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah, but think of it this way – Voldemort could’ve found someone else to leech off of and then once Voldemort came back to his full power, Quirrell would’ve been the first one to get knocked off. So…

Laura: Not to mention Voldemort was possessing snakes and living inside of snakes.

Jamie: Just put him inside a box and nailed it shut until they found all the Horcruxes and then they could kill him or something. I don’t know.

Laura: I think Quirrell was operating under the assumption that Voldemort wasn’t going to leave him for dead.

Kevin: Right.

Jamie: Yeah that’s probably right. Yeah.

Voicemail – The Fat Lady

[Audio]: Hi, MuggleCasters. This is Laura from New Jersey. While reading Chapter 9 of Sorcerer’s Stone, “The Midnight Duel,” I was thinking about all the times Harry, Ron, and Hermione went past the fat lady in the middle of the night. Why doesn’t the fat lady inform someone that there are students out of bed? I just want to hear your theories. Thanks! I love your show!

Andrew: Is it her job necessarily?

Jamie: No, but I think there’s an element of sort of free will around Hogwarts. You can’t have just every single person informing on each other. I mean, if you think, it would be so easy with all the magic – Occlumency – yeah. Occlumency, Patronuses, you know, talking to other portraits – it would be so easy for everyone to know what everyone was up to, but it just would not work like that. I don’t think the school could get away with telling the portraits to inform when people did anything wrong.

Kevin: Yeah.

Jamie: It just takes away free will completely.

Kevin: Yeah I think there’s a level of trust at Hogwarts.

Jamie: Yeah, definitely.

Kevin: And it’s just dealing with the fact that the magic enables you to spy on someone…

Laura: Yeah.

Kevin: …almost exclusively. You know?

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: Anytime, anywhere you can spy on someone. So, there’s a level of trust that they have to maintain so people don’t…

Laura: I was going to say I think that it has something to do with who the Headmaster is because I think Dumbledore just sort of operates on, you know, “If I don’t hear about it, I don’t know.”

Andrew: Mhm.

Laura: So I don’t think it really bothers him that much if some students are out of bed as long as they’re not doing anything destructive.

Jamie: Yeah, but the Headmaster is still accountable to the governors. I mean, it seems weird. I mean, it seems like the governors in Chamber of Secrets were all sort of nice people apart from Lucius because it seemed like he bullied all them in deciding that thing for Dumbledore’s disposal, but it would be interesting to find out how much say the governors actually have.

Kevin: If any.

Jamie: Because it does seem like it’s just Dumbledore that, you know, basically runs things. But I don’t know.

Andrew: I think there should be more of a concern over why do the – why do the portraits have to leave during day or night. Because what if someone really needs to get in? And a perfect example was just here in Chapter 9 – and no one’s in there.

Laura: Well, they don’t have to leave, they choose to.

Jamie: Yeah. But if they had to stay there, it would – everything would just be too perfect, you know? It would be like – you can’t – it’s basically a real person. You can’t expect them to hang around forever and it would just be too easy to do everything if you know what I mean. There just seems like there’s a degree of uncertainty with the magical world with stuff like that, and that’s what makes it so different and interesting.

Voicemail – Ollivander And Animagi

[Audio]: Hi, I’m Chelsea and I’m from Canada and I have a question about Mr. Ollivander. At the beginning of Sorcerer’s Stone when Harry goes to Diagon Alley to get his wand, Mr. Ollivander tells Harry about his parents’ wands and he tells Harry that James’ wand was good for Transfiguration and that he favored his wand. Do you think this means that he knew James and Sirius and Peter had become Animagi? Love to hear what you think! Thanks! Bye!

Jamie: Well, do you think that Ollivander can tell just from a wand if it’s good for Transfiguration? I mean, do you think that like, phoenix feather is particularly good for charm work or Transfiguration or that – and that dragon heartstring is good for, I don’t know, a different type? Or was it just that one person with a certain wand can…

Kevin: Yeah, I don’t think that he can predict how the wand is going to be used.

Jamie: But, he said that the wand was good at Transfiguration rather than James was good at Transfiguration.

Ben: That’s true. So, it could depend upon what like, the wand’s core is and the way the wood of the wand is made and how it’s carved and stuff to determine maybe what spells it’ll be best at? I mean, I don’t think that it will – it’ll make it really bad at doing certain things, but maybe the wand will be better at excelling in certain areas like Transfiguration.

Kevin: Yeah, that’s what I think and I don’t think it necessarily means that the person the wand chooses is going to be good at that particular thing.

Ben: Right. It’s like saying if you give somebody, let’s see, if someone learns a skill like a driving skill – you learn to fly an airplane. You don’t start them out with a big Boeing 747. You start them off with a small four-passenger plane and then you eventually – they work their way up. You know what I am saying?

Laura: Well, also Ollivander said that Lily’s wand was good for Charms, but we found out in Half-Blood Prince that Potions was her best subject.

Kevin: Right.

Jamie: Yeah, but there is no wand work in Potions.

Laura: No, there isn’t. But you would think if the wand’s best ability was the person’s best ability, that she would be best at charms.

Jamie: Yeah, that’s true. Yeah. But it’s like, do you think two people with completely identical skills – you can have one with a better wand, so he’d win a duel? Because Ollivander says that Voldemort’s wand was yew and exceptionally powerful.

Kevin: It’s possible, but I think it falls more on the skill of the person than the wand itself.

Ben: Right, but he’s saying in a theoretical world, if two people have identical skills, could the wand make the difference?

Jamie: Some wands, it just seems like, yew, 13 inches. It just seems like that sounded like a really powerful wand for any type of work. It just seems like any spell could have like 110% power, where as any other wand would only give it a certain amount of power.

Ben: Right, but it also depends on… Yeah, sorry. I was also going to say it depends on the magical ability of the person… I think it depends a lot more on that. I mean, maybe do wands have any effect on how fast the spell is transmitted even? Or do wands…? We haven’t really seen the relationship between a person and the wand and how like the magic transfers through it, if you know what I saying.

Jamie: I’d love to know what wand Dumbledore’s got. That would be very interesting to find out.

Kevin: Had. [laughs]

Jamie: Had – you can’t say that Kevin. That’s not right. Don’t say that.

Laura: Yes.

Andrew: He’s not dead! Dumbledore’s not dead!

Kevin: I corrected you on that one.

Jamie: Hey, Kevin, Kevin, he still has wand. It could be buried with him.

Kevin: But, he’s not alive.

Andrew: Wait, didn’t they? No, I thought I remember hearing something like they burned it or something. Weren’t we talking about this a few weeks ago?

Kevin: Yeah, they don’t keep it. There’s some ceremony with it.

Ben: Mhm.

Jamie: Really?

Andrew: Yeah. Oh right.

Kevin: So, he doesn’t have his wand. Or…

Andrew: Yeah. I can’t remember where we heard that though.

Jamie: We heard it on the grapevine.

Ben: We just made it up, Andrew.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah, we heard it on the grapevine.

Kevin: No, Jo…

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: We’re starting rumors hoping they’ll make JK “Rolling,” JK Rowling’s Rubbish Bin.

Jamie: Oh yeah, she did. That’s the one. Yeah, yeah.

Andrew: I forgot.

Jamie: We just completely forgot.

Andrew: She called on her bat phone.

Jamie: Yeah.

[Andrew hums]

Andrew: Okay, next voicemail.

Voicemail – The Grangers In Diagon Alley

[Audio]: Hi, this is Sarah from North Carolina and I was wondering how Hermione’s parents get to Diagon Alley if they are Muggles? Thank you, and I love the show! Bye!

Andrew: Well, Sarah I think it is something as simple as the wizards open it up for them.

Kevin: Even though they can’t see the building?

Ben: No, they can. I think it’s like the same idea – could a Squib see the Leaky Cauldron. I think so. I think once your mind has been opened to the magic understanding, that you know, that you realize the magical world exists and that you acknowledge it’s existence, then you will be able to see it. It doesn’t actually depend on whether or not you have magic in your blood.

Jamie: But Ben, Muggles can’t see Dementors. But, I mean, it just seems weird. If you’re told what they are, it just seems weird that you can’t see them.

Ben: Well, that’s a good point though. Like Mrs. Figg, she’s a Squib and she can’t see the Dementors.

Jamie: She understands a great deal of the magical world, obviously.

Kevin: Either that or something about the wizard telling you that the location is there. It’s sort of like a Secret-Keeper kind of thing, you know? A much larger sense.

Jamie: I wonder what actually makes a wizard though? Is it like – I mean this is going to get way too technical, but I don’t know. Do you think it’s like…

Ben: Didn’t Jo mention genes? Doesn’t it have something to do with the genes and dominant and recessive and all that?

Jamie: Oh yeah. Yeah, she mentioned that actually, but does that mean it’s like a DNA thing? You know, being a wizard, your DNA structure? Like Spiderman.

Voicemail – The Half-Blood Prince

Andrew: Next question comes from Kinja of Virginia. Hey, that kind of rhymes.

[Audio]: Hi MuggleCast! This is Kinja from Salem, Virginia. I just wanted to tell you guys about something I realized after reading Half-Blood Prince six times. I’m convinced Snape cannot be the Half-Blood Prince. On pg. 337 of the US edition, Lupin asks Harry how old his Advanced Potion Making book is, and Harry replies, “I dunno, I’ve never checked.” About a paragraph down Harry checks the date on his book. “There he turned to the pages, searching, until he finally found, at the front of the book, the date it had been published. It was nearly fifty years old. Neither his father nor his friends had been at Hogwarts fifty years ago.” Harry throws the book into his trunk and goes to bed. I was just wondering what you guys thought. Your show is great! Thanks! Bye!

Laura: It was his mother’s book. That’s why it was old. It was second-hand.

Jamie: Really? Is that actually true? [laughs]

Ben: it doesn’t necessarily have to be his mother’s book, it could be…

Andrew: Yeah, it could be anyone’s book.

Laura: I always assumed it was his mother’s, just because it just seems like it would make sense. It was at least some kind of second-hand book. I get that in Book Mistakes all the time.

Jamie: Snape clearly is the Half-Blood Prince. But, apart from him saying it and the mother evidence, is there anything else?

Kevin: Yeah, but there is no doubt that he is. He’s not the person to brag about something that…

Jamie: No, I agree.

Kevin: So, the evidence is him saying that he is the Half-Blood Prince because he is.

Jamie: That is true.

Laura: Mhm. I think there was just a lot of confusion with people overlooking the fact that the book was old – that it was second-hand and I don’t think a lot of people caught on to that, because I get that in Book Mistakes so often, it’s actually kind of annoying.

Andrew: All right, that wraps up this week’s voicemails and that wraps up the sh… Oh wait!

Kevin: That’s what I am saying.

Andrew: Wait, why don’t we just get rid of Kevin and keep going?

Jamie: Awww.

Kevin: That’s what I am saying.

Jamie: Poor Kevin.

Laura: Yeah, Kevin. Get out.

Kevin: Okay, so I’m all set?

Andrew: All right. Kevin, leave.

Kevin: Okay, bye guys!

Jamie: Bye Kevin!

Ben: Bye Kevin!

Andrew: Bye Kevin!

Kevin: Oh, thanks a lot.

Laura: Bye!

Andrew: We’ll miss you. We’ll talk about you behind your back.

Kevin: See you guys.

Andrew: Oh thank god I can stop putting that act on.

Jamie: What act?

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: All right.

Jamie: No comment.


Andrew: Now this week we’re going to try out a new segment. We’re going to put it through our beta-testing, which means absolutely nothing. This week [laughs] we’re going to try a new segment that we will tentatively call “Favorites,” where we pick one topic relating to whatever it is Harry Potter, and we each go around the table and say why it is our favorite “blah.” So this week how about we start with favorite actor of the Harry Potter series.

Laura: Well I know mine, but I am going to get hate mail for it. [laughs] I really like Michael Gambon. [laughs] I think he’s awesome. He’s fabulous. Well, I think he really portrays Dumbledore really well. I appreciate Richard Harris’ portrayal, but I feel like Michael Gambon definitely gets more of the feistiness and more of the excitement, and I sort of see more of that twinkle in the eye more with him than I did with Harris.

Andrew: Laura, I’d actually have to agree, but since you already said Michael Gambon, I will say Alan Rickman – like you briefly mentioned, because I think he has the same style the Gambon has. He’s very – I don’t really know how to explain it. He’s very… He really is a perfect Snape, yeah. He’s just [laughs] I don’t even know what to say. Oh, he’s just incredible. I just love him. Words cannot…

Laura: Andrew fangirls Alan Rickman.

Ben: For me, I’d have to go with Alfie Enoch.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Why is that Ben? That’s a really random character to chose, actor.

Ben: His portrayal of Dean Thomas is AMAZING! Oh geez, I’ve never seen such a good portrayal.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: No, I am just kidding. Actually, it has to be Evanna Lynch. Evanna Lynch, I’d say.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: Yeah, she’s the best actor – actress I’ve ever seen.

Andrew: Wait, Ben. You shouldn’t jump to conclusions here. I mean we haven’t even seen her in a film.

Ben: Well, I was actually going to make a fansite about her.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Who Ben, who?

Andrew: Why would you do that, you haven’t even seen her yet.

Ben: Oh, I don’t know. I’ll just jump on the bandwagon like everyone else.

Andrew: Oh.

Ben: Okay, in reality, my favorite actor would have to be Robbie Coltrane, who plays Hagrid because he does an excellent, excellent job as portraying Hagrid. And I think there is no doubt about that. Jo has said so herself. And she created him, so you can’t argue with that. And for my favorite actress, well of course is Emma.

Jamie: Oh yeah, you love her, don’t you?

Ben: Because…

Laura: Wow, I didn’t see that coming.

Ben: …she’s so darn pretty.

Andrew: Can you give us a Rubeus Hagrid impression?

Ben: Oh, what do you want?

Andrew: I think they’re perfect.

Ben: [impersonating Hagrid] “Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of the Keys at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.”

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: That’s good. That’s good, Ben. Well done. Well done.

Andrew: Yeah, that’s great.

Ben: Who’s doubting me?

Andrew: Jamie, what about you?

Jamie: Okay, favorite actor – I think, Michael Gambon’s awesome as well, I really like how he’s done Dumbledore. I thought Richard Harris, the late Richard Harris, was exceptionally good as well, but I just feel Michael Gambon really gets it. I think Tom Felton’s really good as Malfoy as well. I think he brings him across really well. And, I really like Rupert as Ron. I think Rupert’s really good as Ron.

Andrew: Well, that was fun. If you guys have an idea for a favorite thing that you want us to talk about here on the show, e-mail it to fav – [laughs] er, not favorites – mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com, and put it in the subject line “Favorites.”

PO Box

Ben: Excellent. Oh, and, another little update here before we finish up the show. It’s about the PO Box.

Andrew: Oooh.

Ben: Remember, please send in your things to MuggleCast, PO Box 223, Moundridge, Kansas, 67107. I’d also like to thank Kelazma, who responded very generously to my request for power bars, and sent a box of about fifty billion bazillion of them.

Dueling Club

Andrew: Now let’s do a Dueling Club, and then we’ll – Jamie will enlighten us with his latest British Joke of the Day. Dueling Club we’re going to do a little different this week. This one was actually sent in by Brian, 17, from Houston, Texas. This was sent in about a month ago, but we’ve sort of put the Dueling Club on hiatus since then, but then we started getting e-mails, saying, “Hey, where’d it go?” Yeah, it’s been on the back burmer, cooked on…

Ben: Burmer. On the back burmer.

Andrew: On the back burner.

[Ben laughs]

Ben: Right, Andrew, on the back burmer?

Andrew: Burmer.

Ben: Oh yeah.

Andrew: They call them “burmers” in Jersey.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: All right. [laughs] Brian – Brian had an idea – Brian had an idea for the Dueling Club. Back burmer. And he said, he asks, “How about a 16-year-old Voldemort versus a 16-year-old Dumbledore? Thanks guys, love the show.” 16-year-old Voldemort versus 16-year-old Dumbledore.

Ben: I don’t think we know enough about Dumbledore when he was younger – well, hold on, hold on. He was a Triwizard champion, isn’t that right?

Laura: I don’t think that was ever said, but we know that he did things, during his OWLs or NEWTs or something…

Ben: Yeah.

Laura: …that the instructors had never seen before.

Ben: Yeah, that – that’s what I meant.

Laura: One of them was talking about that.

Ben: Disregard the comment about the Triwizard champion. But, yeah, that’s true. Since he was so well-accomplished, I don’t know. But then again, at the same time, Voldemort…

Laura: I don’t know.

Ben: …was able to create Horcruxes when he was around that age.

Laura: I think I’d have to go with Dumbledore, just because he’s so much more open-minded, and that seems to be…

Ben: Voldemort’s weakness.

Laura: …one of Voldemort’s weaknesses, yeah.

Ben: And actually, technically, there wasn’t a 16-year-old Voldemort. He was Tom Riddle. Oooh.

Jamie: Ahhh. Clever.

Ben: Got you there.

Andrew: Yeah, well, all right then 16-year-old Tom Riddle.

Ben: I don’t know. I think Tom Riddle – I don’t know who was more advanced at the time.

Jamie: Well, I think Dumbledore would be more advanced.

Ben: I think that’d be interesting to see.

Andrew: You got to get closer to the mike.

Jamie: Oh, okay, sorry.

Andrew: You dropped out a lot.

Jamie: Dumbledore was more advanced.

Andrew: Say it again.

Jamie: I think Dumbledore was more advanced.

Ben: Ehhh.

Jamie: He just, he knew more actual magic than – whereas Voldemort, I think, was more interested in the theory so he could get more powerful when he left school.

Andrew: All right, so thanks Brian for that Dueling Club submission, and if you have any of your own that you’d like to send in – because we’re all about taking your thoughts and ideas and suggestions, and putting them into the show. So you can e-mail whatever you want to mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com.

Jamie’s British Joke Of The Day

Andrew: Now it’s time for Jamie’s British Joke of the Day, which cannot receive submissions. This is straight out of Jamie’s brilliant head.

Jamie: There’s a guy called Merv, and he was in a really bad accident at work. And he fell through a floor tile, and he ripped off both of his ears, okay? And he was permanently disfigured. So he settled with the company he was working for, for a large sum of money, and then he went on his way. And one day he decided to invest his money in a growing telecom business called Plexus Communications. After weeks of negotiations, he bought the company outright, but after signing on the dotted line, he realized he knew nothing about running such a business, and quickly set out to hire someone who could do that for him. The next day, he had set up three interviews. The first guy was amazing, he knew everything he needed to, and was very interesting. At the end of the interview, Merv asked him, “Do you notice anything different about me?” And the gentleman answered, “Why yes, I couldn’t help but notice you have no ears.” Merv got very angry and threw him out. Second interview was with a woman, and she was even better than the first guy. He asked her the same question, “Do you notice anything different about me?” And she replied, “Well, you have no ears.” Merv, again was very upset and tossed her out. The third and last interview was the best of the three. It was with a very young man, he was fresh out of college. He was smart, he was handsome, and he seemed to be a better businessman than the first two put together. Merv was anxious [laughing], and went to ask the young man the same question, “Do you notice anything different about me?” And to his surprise, the young man answered, “Yes, you wear contact lenses.” [laughing very hard] Merv was shocked and said… [still laughing] Sorry. Merv was shocked and said, “What an incredibly observant young man, how in the world did you know that?” The young man fell off his stool – er, fell off his chair, laughing hysterically, and replied, “Well it’s pretty hard to wear glasses without ears.”

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: It sounded like I was reading that straight off www.funny.com. I may well have been.


Andrew: All right, so Jamie, before we wrap things up, we actually have one other announcement relating to MuggleCast, and how cool you are, and like, all that, so…

Jamie: Well, everyone should have heard it if they’ve been checking the site already, but it is a LIVE podcast, taking place at Collectormania 9 in the UK, on April the 29th, which is in a couple of weeks. We should be talking to Robert Pattinson (Cedric Diggory), James and Oliver Phelps, and some other Harry Potter stars, hopefully, who aren’t confirmed yet. And, in addition to that, we are, as you should know, holding a competition to win a place on the podcast, and you can meet the stars beforehand, and appear on the podcast panel and speak to them, and ask them questions, and all that kind of thing – all that kind of thing. And, in addition, you get a gold pass to Collectormania, which is worth £175, which gets you – which lets you join the back of any guest cue to get autographs, you can go backstage, and you get a big goody bag, with loads of autographs and stuff at the end. So, please see the site for further details…

Kevin: Wow.

Jamie: …on how to win. Thank you and goodbye.

Ben: Yay.

Show Close

Andrew [Show Close with music in background]: That is a great prize. [laughs] It’ll be – it’ll be in the show notes, there’ll be a link there to all the information that you need, and that podcast will be recorded, and will be going up on MuggleCast, it’ll be going up on the MuggleCast feed, so we’re really looking forward to that. When is it?

Jamie: That is in a couple of weeks, April 29th.

Andrew: The 29th, so we’ll have it up – it’ll probably be the May 6th show.

Jamie: Or something like that, yeah.

Andrew: Cool. I like it. Thank you, Jamie, and that does wrap up MuggleCast 35. Thanks everyone for listening. Once again, I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I am Ben Schoen [whispers] dot com.

Jamie: And I am Jamie Lawrence and Kevin Steck.

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

Andrew: Laura can be found at laura-thompson.com, I can be found at andrewsimz, thats with a “z,” dot com, Jamie Lawrence can be found at dot com. Good night everybody! [laughs]


[Music starts]

[Audio]: Hey, MuggleCasters, this is Jessica from Brigham Young University in Utah. I just wanted to say that no matter what PotterCast says, you are the truly best Harry Potter podcast ever. And Jamie, I love your accent, keep talking, man. All right, I’ll talk to you later. Bye!

[Audio]: Hey, MuggleCast boys, and Laura, this is Maria from Ottawa, Canada, and I just wanted to say I love your show, you guys just make me laugh so much. So keep up the good work. Okay, bye!

[Audio]: Hey, MuggleCast, this is Chelsea from Massachusetts, I’m 16 years old, and I’m just calling to say that I love MuggleCast. I recently had the flu, and I listened to your show every single day, and you guys made me laugh a lot. And, also, when my teacher was rude, so – me and my class – made us stay after school, after I came home, you made my day feel like I just went to the moon and back, so, thanks a lot MuggleCast. Love your show. Bye!

[Audio]: Hi MuggleCast, this is Kacia from Canada. I just wanted to let you guys know that I really love your show. I want to thank you guys for keeping Harry Potter alive in our hearts and giving us things to discuss in between the books and the movies. Anyways, MuggleCast and MuggleNet rock! Bye!

[Audio]: Dear Ben, I freaking love you, I think we should get married like, right now. Okay, thanks. Love, Hannah from California. Bye!

[Audio]: Hi, this is Kelsey from Ohio, and I just got done recording iMuggle 11. I just wanted to let you know how great I think your show is, and how much all of us fans appreciate what you give back to us. So, thanks for keeping this show nice, and we love it! Bye!

[Music ends]


Jamie: Oh yes, so… Hey Ben, hey Ben, I have to go – I have to go in about half an hour, because I’ve got to play violin in orchestra. I haven’t ever played the violin before, but I just hope I’m a natural.

[Andrew and Kevin laugh]

Andrew: All right, the joke’s old now, the joke’s old.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Let’s try to stay on-topic and get it done in another half hour.

Show Us Your Character

Andrew: There’s a character in all of us, and now you can share your unique character with the world at ShowUsYourCharacter.com. Join now, and begin uploading you videos, photos, and your own profile. You can share a hidden talent, show off your celebrity impersonation, or give the Show Us Your Character community a glimpse into your life. Chat, and interact with thousands of other members, and get to know some of the characters of the USA. You’ve got what it takes to be a star. Enter the 2006 Show Us Your Character contest to find out if you’re America’s most unique character, and you can win a chance to be featured on the computer screen, the TV screen, and even the big screen. Enter now at MuggleNet.com, by clicking on “Competitions” at the left.


Written by: Micah, Ally, Martina, Rhiannon, Roni, and Sarah

Episode 35: Born With A Skill

  • The answer to converting Muggle money to Wizarding money
  • The answer to why Quirrell had Voldemort on the back of his head
  • Astronomy tower discussion
  • More debate over the HP7 release date
  • Chapter-by-Chapter discussion: Chapter 9 of Sorcerer’s Stone
  • Ben looks like a swan?
  • Harry the natural flyer
  • What’s the deal with the school brooms?
  • Trophy room protection
  • Why are students forbidden from walking around at night?
  • Why does the Bloody Baron patrol the halls?
  • Did Peeves’ voice put Fluffy to sleep?
  • New segment: FAVORITES
  • PO Box update
  • Jamie’s British Joke of the Day
  • A big Collectormania podcast announcement

Download Now
Running time: 1:05:05, 22.7 MB

Transcript 034

MuggleCast EP34 Transcript


Andrew [Plays PotterCast Intro (Dumbledore saying: Welcome, Welcome to another…)]: …MuggleCast – Episode 34 for April 08th, 2006! [Show Intro with music in background] See why GoDaddy.com is the No. 1 domain registrar world-wide. Now with your domain name registration, you’ll get hosting, a free blog, complete e-mail and much more. Plus, as a MuggleCast listener enter the code “RON”; that’s R-O-N when you check out and get your dot com domain name for just $6.95 per year. Get your piece of the Internet today at GoDaddy.com.

At USA Network, characters are welcome. Even you have what it takes to be a star. Can you believe that? Enter the 2006 “Show Us Your Character Contest” to find out if you’re America’s most unique character and you could win a chance to be featured on the computer screen, the TV screen, and even the big screen! Enter now at ShowUsYourCharacter.com.

Hello everyone and welcome back to the show! I’m Andrew Sims.

Eric: I’m Eric Scull.

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

Jamie: And I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Andrew: Ben Schoen is off practicing for his ACTs. Kevin Steck is in class. And…who is the other one we’re missing? Oh, Micah Tannenbaum is off getting a job at CBS Sports. He’s actually… Don’t tell ESPN or wherever he works right now, but he’s getting a full-time job at CBS Sports, which is actually pretty impressive.

Eric: Actually guys, it’s very little known – don’t tell anybody here. Micah is replacing Katie Couric on The Today Show.

Andrew: Oh, that is great news! That is great timing! [laughs]

Laura: Thank god!

Eric: Yes, so we’re saved! Everybody was saying what would Today be like without Katie Couric? And actually, well Micah, Micah’s going to be on there.

Andrew: [laughing] Micah Tannenbaum and Matt Lauer.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Well…

Jamie: Yeah, but Andrew, Andrew?

Andrew: Yes?

Jamie: You’ve completely done it now. He’s going to be fired tomorrow.

Andrew: Okay.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Jamie: It’s like that scene out of Bruce Almighty. He’s going to be chucked out of the doors and then the box of all his stuff is going to be thrown on top of him.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Poor Micah, I hope you can live with yourself.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Andrew: That’s what he gets for telling me.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Before we go anywhere else, first let’s check in over at NBC Studios, now apparently, with Micah Tannenbaum for the past week top Harry Potter news stories.

Micah: All right. Thanks, Andrew.


Bloomsbury, the publisher of the UK editions of the Potter books, posted profits of $34.8 million for 2005. Sales of the sixth book, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, boosted profits 24% for the company. Thank you for listening to Bloomberg Financial News.

In movie news, David Thewlis, who portrays Remus Lupin in the Harry Potter movies, recently discussed filming of the fifth film, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. He was quoted in Thursday’s edition of the Belfast Telegraph as:

“I’m really glad I’m going to see everybody again, and it’ll be weird to see the kids grown up. I’m not sure how they’re going to make the other films, it would be a shame not to have the same actors, but Rupert [Grint, playing ginger Ron] is going to be married with kids or something by the end.”

You know, way to keep people’s hopes up Dave.

Be sure to head over to MuggleNet.com as Dan has posted his most recent newsletter where he discusses filming Order of the Phoenix, working with David Yates and Imelda Staunton.

And recently, Evanna Lynch’s father sat down with MuggleNet to discuss how she’s doing with filming, her meeting J.K. Rowling and describes the interesting process Evanna went through to get the part of Luna Lovegood.

It is official! Warner Bros. announced that the Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix movie will hit theaters on July 13, 2007! Oooo, Friday the 13th.

J.K. Rowling has been extremely busy on her website. She updated Diary Section of her official site. In it she tells the story of how she spent 45 minutes looking for normal writing paper in Edinburgh. Can somebody please build a Kinko’s or a Staples out there so that Book 7 isn’t delayed because J.K. Rowling couldn’t find writing paper. Or better yet, Kinko’s or Staples, send tons of normal writing paper to J.K. Rowling. She also mentioned that the final book is “going well.”

Recently, she visited Leavesden Studios and caught up with some of the Order of the Phoenix cast – most of whom she says have outgrown her since she last saw them! And as mentioned earlier Jo me with Evanna Lynch for roughly an hour and described her in one word: perfect.”

Additionally, Jo mentioned our LeakyMug April Fool’s prank in her Rumors Section. She also wrote a fascinating article about today’s weight-obsessed world, which can be found in the Extras Section.

Finally, you can now view your WOMBAT results! Simply click on the student identification card found on Jo’s desk, then enter your ID number, and a certificate revealing your results will appear. It seems as if more tests will be coming in the future.

Basically, visit every section on JKR.com. That was the point of that part of the News. I don’t even know why I just plugged her site considering she only gave me an “Acceptable” on the WOMBAT.

That’s all the news for this April 08th, 2006 edition of MuggleCast. Back to the show.

Andrew: All right. Thank you, Micah Tan.


Andrew: Now moving on to a few announcements.

Jamie: Oh yes, I’ve been waiting for these all year.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: What’s wrong? What’s wrong? We’re making them quick now that you’re on.

Jamie: Hey, Andrew, before you start the announcements, I’ve got one. I was just wondering if everyone could buy a T-shirt, a MuggleCast T-shirt. I know we haven’t mentioned it before, EVER!

[Laura and Andrew laugh]

Jamie: I mean we certainly haven’t said it for like ten minutes in every single show since we’ve started, but…

Eric: No, I think you are absolutely right in including it in this show. I think it’s about time to raise awareness, you know, for these MuggleCast T-shirts.

Jamie: I agree. I agree completely. Yeah.

Andrew: I think both of you have had your headsets muted over the past few weeks because we do promote…

Jamie: Oh really? Have we?

Andrew: …the MuggleCast T-shirts. [laughs]

Jamie: Really?

Andrew: Yes!

Jamie: It must be so short. It must be so short we can’t remember it.

Andrew: Everyone buy your own MuggleCast T-shirt today – they help support the show. You all think you look cool in your Abercrombie and Fitch and your Fitch, not Fish, and your Aeropostale, but seriously how about a nice 100% cotton, black, MuggleCast T-shirt?

Eric: So it shrinks when you soak it.

Andrew: It will even shrink.

Eric: Because it’s 100% cotton.

Andrew: It will help you lose weight…if you’re overweight.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] I’m not implying anything. So do not forget those. And, one reminder for Lumos 2006 – it is now time to RSVP as we mentioned last week. Send your reservations to hplive at gmail dot com. But don’t forget this does not guarantee you a seat of any kind. This merely tells us that you are coming. We do have plans to broadcast the video outside of the recording area, so those who cannot get in can still watch it – not on national television or anything. So anyway, make sure you get those in. We need to know how many people are going because otherwise we’re going to underestimate and there’s going to be no room for anyone, so if you want to be comfortable…

Jamie: At all.

Andrew: You still won’t. But if you want to be comfortable, make sure you send in your RSVP with you and how many people are coming with you. And please rate yourself on the Cool Factor 1-10 so I know whether or not I can hang out with you.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: That is… That is… And please wear a little name tag with your cool factor number on it…

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: …so I know if I should approach you or not.

Eric: [imitating a fan] “Hi, Andrew…”

Andrew: “Cool kid…”

Jamie: And if you lie, we will know.

Andrew: “What’s that, a #2? Sorry, I can’t talk right now.”

Eric: Yeah, even if I had a #10 on I don’t think you’d hang out with me.

Jamie: Hey, Andrew?

Andrew: Eric, I love you.

Order Of The Phoenix Movie Release vs. Book 7 Release

Andrew: So anyway, moving on to some recent news here – late-breaking news as of the time of this recording. We record on Wednesdays and we have just found out that the Order of the Phoenix movie will indeed be released in Summer 2007, specifically July 13, 2007.

Eric: Which is bad.

Andrew: This is big news… No, it’s good and it’s bad. Good, because we will have plenty of time to update the site over the summer.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Andrew: I can’t think of any reasons why it would be bad though.

Eric: Okay. Well, I do.

Jamie: Book 7.

Eric: Book 7.

Andrew: Oh, Book 7. That’s right.

Eric: I think it might be unlikely they release Book 7 on 07/07/07 because right the next week [makes clicking noise] there will be Movie 7 [meaning Movie 5]. And I actually think it would be cool if they synchronized it – had one week this, one week that, but I think it might be unlikely.

Jamie: I agree.

Eric: Pretty unlikely.

Andrew: I don’t see why it’s unlikely. Okay, I see, “Oh why on earth would they put them so close together?” Why not? Why not?

Eric: I think it would… Apart from it making a giant – the last Harry Potter book and the fifth Harry Potter movie making a giant impact on the world and like Pottermania and Entertainment Weekly does three editions on it, you know?

Andrew: Mhm.

Eric: I think they actually don’t want that. In certain ways, I don’t know, it just makes sense somehow to me that they might actually space it out a bit more. Just like when they record movies the same, like Matrix 2 and 3, they had them spaced out six or seven months apart even though they recorded at the same time. So, like Pirates of the Caribbean 2, the movie. When they do movies and when they do things that they can release at the same time, they actually, generally prefer not to do it – to space it out a little bit to create a little bit hype here, a little bit of hype there.

Andrew: Well, that’s a true point.

Eric: Well, and also…

Jamie: Eric, Eric?

Eric: Wait, hang on. If everybody is reading Book 7 and they release the movie the week after, that would hurt the movie, I think. Everybody… It would hurt either the movie or the book. Either people would be reading the book still or still discussing it and saying, “Oh wow! Oh my god!” or – and they’d be too busy doing that to go see the movie and that would hurt the box office, or they would go see the movie and have so much to talk about there and it would really take away from the awe factor of Book 7 and everything being closed as far as the books go. You know what I am saying? So, even if it isn’t Warner Brothers wanting to pace things apart, I actually think it would be really bad if they were released together. It would just create… I think they should be at least a month apart.

Laura: Do you even think they would put them that far apart? I mean, I’m not sure I can be convinced they’d release them both within a month of each other.

Andrew: A month? You think it would be sooner?

Laura: No, I don’t think it would be sooner. I think they would want to space it out more. I mean, I think even a month is too close.

Eric: Well, the question is then…

Laura: Just on general principal.

Eric: Well, hang on, guys. If they know and if they can actually finalize – I mean they’ve had to be talking to JKR, because if they can finalize the movie for July, you know, 12th or whatever, right after 07/07/07, obviously, considering all this stuff, it’s pretty… I think it would be right in saying that JKR wants the book out not around then. Like maybe, do you guys think the book will be out before then, then? And you know, that’s a tremendously good thing.

Jamie: No way, there’s no way it’s going to be out before the film.

Eric: But then, that’s the problem because then if the book comes out after 07/07/07, they missed a pretty good date, you know, and…

Jamie: No, but the date isn’t actually that important at all. You know, it’s only worth it for the promotional value – putting it on posters and stuff like that. It doesn’t actually very important at all.

Eric: Why make it the 12th, the week before? Come on, the week before is the 7th, what’s wrong with them?

Jamie: No, because they can’t obviously, you know, just like you’ve said, you can’t release the book, then the film. But, it’s like – but you were talking about the Matrix films – they just seem more planned than these films. So, they knew they were going to have three films; they knew that they were going to have them a certain amount, you know, between – a lot more just seems to happen in the Harry Potter world. So like, they, you know, you’ve got the books and the films and they’ve got to space them out to get the most value out of the franchise and just because people don’t want everything crammed into one thing because they want it to last as long as they can.

Andrew: But when they’re spacing out, they’re talking about a few months.

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: This is the timing for both of these – I’m trying to think if JK Rowling [pronounced incorrectly] had any…

Eric: [Correcting Andrew’s pronunciation] Rowling.

Andrew: Okay, sorry. JK Rowling [pronounced correctly]. I’m starting to catch myself, now.

Eric: Rowling Alert.

Andrew: JK Rowling had any say in this. Because, if she did, then she either thinks that that’s plenty of time before the book, or plenty of time after the book.

Jamie: Or, no, no. Or just that the book – there’s no way the book will be done by then and that she’d rather get the hype over Order of the Phoenix done and then release the book. I mean, maybe they’ll go for a winter release date for the book instead?

Eric: Why can’t it be this winter then? I mean, she just updated on her blog…

Jamie: Because, she’s got to write it, Andrew. She doesn’t just pull it out her [beep] for god’s sake.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: No, I don’t want it to be this winter. But, I’m saying is I don’t want it to be next winter, either. Next winter I think, I mean, she’s writing all of this stuff, every, you know, every time she updates her site: “Book 7 is going great. Book 7 is going great.”

Andrew: Yeah, exactly.

Eric: And that’s good, but that gave me more and more reason to suspect Summer 2007, but since we’re seeing, you know, that it’s not going to be that because they can’t really, you know – this movie release date has actually ruined 07/07/07 for both of them, which I think is sad, but…

Jamie: It’s just a date though, it’s just like…

Eric: …I know, but it would be a cool date. But the point I’m trying to make is that since the – now the book is either going to come out, you know, a few months before Summer 2007 or a few months after 2007 and I…

Laura: I don’t think it’s going to come out before the movie. [laughs] No way.

Eric: Okay I agree, but it’s either going to come out three months before or three months after and I don’t want either of them. I don’t want…

Laura: You know, I frankly wouldn’t care if we had to wait until Summer ’08 for the book, because I want it to be good.

Andrew: Wait, for the book? Yeah, absolutely.

Eric: Summer ’08? Well, yeah…

Andrew: But, I think JK Rowling [mispronounced] can put out a book with the same quality in…

Jamie: [Speaking slowly] Rowling.

Andrew: Rowling. [sings] Rolling, rolling…

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Rolling, rolling… How long was it between Book 4 and 5? I forget. It was like two, three years?

Laura: It was, like, three years.

Eric: Three years? Then, I think it would be possible for it come out in 2008. I wouldn’t mind, you know? Because look at Book 5. Book 5 was completely massive and it didn’t answer any questions, but a book that length could answer everything if she did it again.

Jamie: I love Book 5 though, I think it was awesome.

Laura: Yeah, I thought Book 5 was great.

Andrew: Hasn’t JK Rowling said though she was aiming for 2007?

Jamie: I don’t know, has she?

Laura: I don’t know if she’d want to put a date on it like that.

Jamie: Yeah, I agree. Because, things could go wrong so easily and there’s so much stuff that…

Andrew: What can go wrong?

Laura: Writer’s block. [laughs]

Andrew: All right, all right. Writer’s block. But, how many times has she told us, like Eric said earlier, that it’s going well? She knows how this book is going to end. She says she’s going to make it shorter than Book 5. All right, it’s the last book; I understand that there’s a lot to close up here.

Laura: Going well…

Andrew: …I think she’s on schedule for 2007.

Eric: Yeah, I…

Andrew: 2008, you have to think about that. She’s already – she’s in the process of writing this book and 2008, that’s a long time.

Laura: You have to consider a good day of writing can be figuring out a plot point. A good day of writing can be getting two pages down.

Andrew: Well, of course…

Laura: I strongly urge you to go and try and write 15 pages of fiction in one day.

Andrew: All right.

Laura: It’s hard.

Andrew: All right, I understand. I get that.

Eric: Well, she’s not exactly making this stuff up. I mean, as much as she is, I don’t know – it’s just, I think I agree with – no, she’s making it up, but she has a lot of what she needs to include. You know, it’s not like you’re making fiction up out of nothing, like she is, but at the same time it’s not like saying, “Write a story about a magic talking bush.”

Laura: Mhm. But things always crop up.

Eric: Oh, I understand that and I completely agree with the book problems, but I’m thinking what Andrew’s saying is, you know, we’ve been led and I think, you know, 07/07/07, or anytime in Summer 2007 was what all of us were kind of in the mindset for and kind of, you know, we’re pacing ourselves, we can wait that long and that would be fine. But, now that it’s saying that it’s not really going to be that date unless they do release the movie and book at the same time, which would hurt sales either way and hurt the experience. I just don’t – I think seven – I think Summer was our best, like, hope. Like, I was really counting on that.

Andrew: Mhm.

Jamie: Also, also, films must have, like a six-month gap either side to account for filming problems, so if they put a release date on the book of say, August 2007, and filming got put back a month, they’d be basically at the same time. So, I don’t see how they can actually release the book in Summer 2007 without seriously causing problems if filming gets put back. Or, if the film’s release date gets put back. So, I think it’s going to be 2008.

Eric: Well, all of the Gary Oldman scenes and, I think, the Lupin scenes too are going to be filmed this summer. So what…

Andrew: A lot has already been filmed.

Eric: A lot has.

Andrew: A lot.

Jamie: Yeah, but so many things can, you know, can go wrong with filming.

Laura: Mhm.

Andrew: I understand that, but they jumped right into filming this movie practically right after Movie 4 and…

Eric: Just like they did with Movie 2.

Andrew: Yeah. Well no, you mean they jumped right into Movie 2?

Eric: Yeah.

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: Well yeah, because, I mean, they said that the day after Movie 1 came out they were back at the studio talking about #2. Like, Steve Kloves said that one time.

Jamie: Yeah, that’s true. Yeah.

Andrew: And then, at the end of Movie 3, I’m pretty sure they took a break, right?

Eric: Yeah.

Jamie: They did take a break, yeah.

Andrew: They took like a six-month, something…

Laura: I know they took a break after #2.

Andrew: All right, well, this could always go for some more discussion, but…

Eric: Yeah.

Jamie: Let’s move on.


Andrew: Speaking of JK Rowling, WOMBATs were introduced to us over, when was it, this past Saturday? And it’s kind of ironic because these reminded me of the SATs and I had just taken the SATs that morning.

Laura: Oh! [laughs]

Andrew: So, morning I took SATs and then, afternoon was my WOMBATs.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: And then, like…

Jamie: Tough day for you, Andrew. Tough day.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: [Still laughing] I know! WOMBATs took 25 minutes, SATs took four hours. [laughs] So, it was much easier.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: What do you guys think of these?

Jamie: I thought it was hard.

Andrew: It was hard.

Laura: It was hard.

Jamie: I thought, but yeah, it was really hard and some of the questions just seemed like, unless you knew them, it was just guess, and you know, it was just guessing.

Andrew: Mhm.

Jamie: Like, the one about which department of the Ministry to contact in a certain situation.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: I thought it was just common sense, unless you actually knew that you were supposed to contact a certain department. I don’t think I’ve done very well on them.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: So, speaking of nerds and really big dorks, Kevin Steck just came in. Welcome, Kevin Steck!

Kevin: Thank you. [laughs] Thank you very much, Andrew.

[Somebody says “Oooo” and everyone laughs]

Andrew: So Kevin, what do you think of the WOMBATs?

Kevin: They were interesting. I mean, I don’t see what relevance they play to…

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: ..anything on the site.

Andrew: Honestly, you know what I think they are? JK Rowling…

Jamie: Filler.

Andrew: Exactly! JK Rowling clearly sees that she’s in some desperate need of some content on…

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: Something fresh – I’m not – she has some awesome stuff on there, [laughs] but I’m saying, you know, to keep everyone entertained.

Kevin: To keep fresh and… Yeah

Andrew: It’s a good idea, though. And of interest – it said WOMBATs Level One. So…

Kevin: Yeah, sorry about that.

Andrew: So does it make sense for Jo to put out a couple more of these between now and Book 7?

Jamie: Yeah, it’s just a game though, I don’t think it has any relevance.

Andrew: It just made me feel stupid.

Laura: I thought it was fine.

Jamie: It’s just a nice game.

Andrew: It was kind of fun, it just made me feel like…

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: It just made me feel dumb.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: She likes making less of people. That’s it.

Andrew: [Still laughing] Yeah, exactly. Here’s – she wants us to make it. She wants to make us feel stupid so we start going around and re-reading the books again to re-learn all of this. That’s it, there we go. [laughs]

Eric: Oh, but we’ve got the one-up on her.

Jamie: She sits there thinking, “You’re thick, I’m clever. Ahhh.”

Listener Rebuttal – Jim Dale vs. Stephen Fry

Andrew: Moving on to Listener Rebuttal, this week we’ve got a couple for you here. All right, so the first one from Pat Maslar. Oh, and a disclaimer here, if you don’t think we’re going to be able to pronounce your name, then please put a little pronunciation thing in there. Like, one of the Listener Rebuttal emails did.

Kevin: Or, expect us to slaughter it.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs] This is Pat Maslar, from upstate New York. He writes, “Jim Dale is British” – Jamie, this one is directed towards you. “Jim Dale is British! He is THE voice of Harry Potter and all its characters to thousands of us. I have tried to hear Stephen Fry’s British version for years, comparing reviews that both American and British listeners seem happy with their reader, Jim and Stephen respectively. I finally got my hands on Stephen’s audios” – audio books he means – “and in my mind there is no comparison, Jim Dale rules and I wish every British listener could hear them. I may be starting an oceanwide battle here, but I would love to hear people’s opinions if they have fairly heard both. I listened to one whole book and he is ruining it, so I can’t listen to any more with Stephen (even though he is a great actor). Back to Jim!” Thoughts on this, Jamie, since you’re British?

Jamie: Well, I beg to differ. I have to say that Stephen Fry is awesome. I really like the way he does things, but I like quite a bit of his work, so I could be biased.

Andrew: Have you listened to Jim?

Jamie: Ummm, but ummm I haven’t.

Andrew: [laughs] Okay.

Kevin: Oh, you haven’t?

Andrew: You have no idea what you’ve heard.

[Jamie laughs]

Jamie: Actually, no. I’m sure I – I’m sure I have. I’m sure I have. I know I can’t really say that Stephen Fry is better without, you know, hearing his voice, but I really do like him, but I’d love to hear a sound clip from the Jim Dale version. So, if somebody fancies sending one in; people write in and tell us what you think – if you’ve heard both of them, which one you liked better if you listened to both.

Andrew: Well, let’s go around and give our opinions.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: I have heard a little bit of Stephen Fry, but I – I really think that I like Jim Dale better. He just seems more emotional with it, and like… [Andrew sighs] I don’t know. I just like the guy.

Kevin: I have heard both, and I actually have – I have both versions myself, but I’d have to go with Jim Dale.

Andrew: Any reason why you don’t like Stephen?

Kevin: Uh, [sighs] I – I don’t know. It’s just a matter of preference, I think. It’s not really one is better than the other. It’s just technique.

Jamie: Yeah. I think you’re right. Yeah.

Andrew: It is technique.

Kevin: Yeah.

Listener Rebuttal – Grindelwald

Andrew: Emily from North Carolina, writes concerning Grindelwald. “In her interview with Melissa and Emerson, JK Rowling strongly implied that Grindelwald has importance to something in the plot. My thought is this, Voldemort said he had gone further than anybody along the path that leads to immortality. This suggests that he was not the first wizard to create a Horcrux, just the first to create seven. And Dumbledore seemed to know more about destroying Horcruxes than he told Harry directly. Although, we never did hear the story about his blackened hand…”

Jamie: Which we did.

Andrew: Yes, we did. “What if Grindelwald had created a Horcrux and Dumbledore had to learn at a time how to destroy one, in order to defeat him. Perhaps this is a memory that Dumbledore left for Harry in the Pensieve, and we’ll learn more about in the seventh book.” And from the interview with JK Rowling, we did learn that Grindelwald is indeed dead, and when Jo was asked, is it a coincidence that he died in 1945? She said “No,” because, and I quote “It amuses me to make allusions to things that were happening in the Muggle world. So my feeling would be that while there is a global Muggle war going on, there is also a global wizarding war going on.” And then Emerson asked Jo, does he have any connection to – And then Jo cut him off and said, “I have no comment to make on that subject.”

Eric: And then she laughed.

Jamie: Can I tell you this?

Andrew: She laughs it off. Forget about it, guys. Don’t even keep it in your head.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: Because it’s so funny.

Jamie: You can make complete comparisons between the wizarding world – stuff happens in the wizarding world, and World War II. It’s like Hitler believed in ethnic cleansing, and people like Lucius Malfoy, you know, only believe that certain people should go to Hogwarts. Perhaps you can extend that to say that only certain people should live. I don’t know. He’s a nasty enough character for me to believe that, I don’t know about everyone else. But perhaps he could say – I think it’s clear that sort of ideological battles can be fought in the Muggle world and in the wizarding world, so I think Grindelwald could have some relation to Hitler, maybe. Or perhaps, he was on his kind of side. I completely went off on a tangent, and I’m really sorry.

[Kevin laughs]

Andrew: No, but it’s interesting that she said that, because if that’s the case, then was she really trying to make that connection in Book 6? Like we talked about last week.

Kevin: I think that she was trying to make a parallel. I don’t think she was trying to make a connection. Well, not a physical connection between Voldemort and Hitler. She was just trying to make a parallel, to say that something similar was going on in this world…

Jamie: That could be it, yeah.

Kevin: …as, you know?

Jamie: That’s very good. Yeah.

Eric: Dumbledore directly compared Voldemort to other dictators. He was like, you know they create their own enemies. Just like all dictators in the world do, and it was this giant bad Hitler thwap with like, giant stinky fish, with Hitler’s name on it saying, “Just like dictators everywhere do.” And, you know, it was really scary, that I thought she was strongly trying to – Mussolini, Stalin, all those. She was trying to make a really big connection, but what I didn’t know about her establishing the dictator is that she actually kind of concluded that Voldemort was evil from the start. And, not really made as much as I thought maybe dictators might be. I don’t know. Like I think it’s interesting – like I like her take on dictators, but I don’t know. I’m supposed to agree with it, but I don’t know that I do as far as how they’re made and how they do stuff. Like if they’re evil to begin with.

Jamie: No. Yeah that’s interesting. Yeah.

Listener Rebuttal – Green Light

Andrew: Next email: Lauren, 17 from Rockton Illinois. She writes, “I would like to respond to the comment about the Death Curse emitting a green light once cast. The color green can sometimes symbolize a longing for a safe home and family life. Voldemort obviously feels some unrest about his family situation, especially his Muggle father. Although Voldemort did not create the Death Curse, could JKR be using the color green as a parallel to Voldemort’s deep emotional turmoil – a possible motive for his vicious killings? Also, Barty Crouch Jr. disguised as Mad-Eye Moody exhibited use of the Killing Curse in Goblet of Fire – he was also in an emotional rift with his father. Love the show, keep up the great work. Lauren.”

Eric: She’s [Laughs] – I appreciate this Lauren thing, what she’s trying to do with Barty Crouch Jr., but I think it’s a little bit different, than what Voldemort is doing. I think any unrest Voldemort would have on his father has been long outgone. And, you know, it fuels, of course, the hatred he faces everyday. But I really don’t think the green light would be created specifically for Voldemort. However, I do like the connection she makes to the Death Curse, and the color green symbolizing a tormented soul or family unrest. And, that’s the kind of feeling that it takes, as we know, to cast something like the Death Curse. So I think the green relates to unsatisfaction, you know, unrest. But not necessarily Voldemort’s, because I don’t think – I would not compare Voldemort to Barty Crouch Jr. because I’m not going to try and make Voldemort innocent.

Kevin: Now I haven’t listened to Episode 33, but I always associate the green with venom. Like, you know, like poison.

Eric: Like Peter Parker’s arch rival?

[Kevin laughs]

Kevin: You know. I don’t know. I just always associate – sort of like death, you know? Like that connection, but maybe it’s just me.

Eric: Uh – green means go, so go, get out of here, kid.

Laura: Yeah, that’s what I thought. I don’t really think that, like, the color of a spell, will change to relate to the person casting it.

Kevin: I always associated it with just the type of spell. You know? It was…

Eric: I think green also emphasizes…

Laura: Yeah, same

Eric: You know, green is Slytherin colors. Green is ewy. Green vegetables, you know, what the heck. It all comes down to the interpretation of green, and I think it’s very clever that it could, you know, mean this unrest and things like that. But, I think more along the lines of that, would be in The Great Gatsby, the main character sees this light across the dock, and it’s green, and it means, you know, home and hope or whatever it is. You know, I think that’s more along the lines of that. But I think the green in this curse, as you say, thinks of venom and other evil stuff.

Listener Rebuttal – Nearly Headless Nick

Andrew: To wrap up the Listener Rebuttal – this actually wasn’t sent in as an email from anyone. Well, it was sent in from a couple of people, but what happened last week is we had a couple of recording problems [coughs] Eric, and [Eric sighs] one thing that we did discuss was the reason why Nearly Headless Nick had indeed died. And we did get an explanation, but we had to cut it out because of some audio glitches. We apologize for the shorter show last week, but…

Eric: Cough Eric, cough Eric. How many times can we cough Eric?

Andrew: [laughs] At any rate – I only did once. What happened to Nearly Headless Nick, was actually revealed on JK [mispronounces] Rowling’s website when she published some of her original – what did she say exactly? It was cut out from Sorcerer’s Stone. The editors decided to get rid of it. And actually I said [mispronounces] Rowling again, didn’t I? I apologize [laughs]. I will never…

Eric: That’s okay, the editors decided to axe it, nearly, nearly, completely axe it.

Andrew: Well, they did. And that’s, that’s… It was nearly lost [Fake laugh]. Okay so…

Kevin: Oh, that was hilarious.

Andrew: Okay, so, so anyway…

Laura: Oh, you’re so funny.

Andrew: So what happened? It’s basically a poem, but no one wants to sing it and/or read it. So, basically, what the summary was that Nick was walking through a park, and he runs into a woman named Lady Grieve, and then for some reason Nick had thought that straighten Lady Grieve’s teeth. So he attempted to, but I guess it was some sort of spell, but they turned into tusks, and… So then he says that he was put on the chopping block, and there was a delay in chopping his head off because the rock that they were using to sharpen the knife with or whatever it was too dull. So then the next morning they still used the blunt knife, and they had to hit Nick 45 times [laughs] until they eventually gave up, and as I quote, Nearly-Headless Nick says, and I quote, “They never saw fit to desert me” or, no, “The head never saw fit to desert him.” So…

Eric: They used – the head never – yeah. That would kind of stink for the Lady Grieve getting, you know, getting tusks for teeth, but at least she has a place to hang her shoes.

Andrew: I really think that was one of the better little rhyme schemes that were in the books.

Kevin: Yeah but it was – it was somewhat…

Andrew: It just worked. It was humorous.

Kevin: It was good that they cut it because it was somewhat long, and irrelevant to the story. So…

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: There is a lot of singing and rhyme and all this stuff, as I did mention that, you know, Gringotts, and the Hogwarts song, and the Sorting Hat – it’s too much. It is.

Andrew: No, I think the Sorting Hat song has – I think the Sorting Hat song has value, because he talks about…

Eric: No, that has specific relevance.

Andrew: Yeah, but the Hogwarts song, cut that out. At least, at least Nick’s song has a plot to it, or adds to the story – adds something, you know?

Kevin: I don’t know.

Eric: Well…

Andrew: It answers a question, what does the Hogwart’s song answer? They’re all goofy, and they all sit there and sing a song, school song. Who sings school songs anymore? Seriously.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: I know, really, it’s not like [sings] Eulenburg, yay!

Andrew: I’m just getting angry now. [laughs] Does it matter? Ah, that’s funny though.

Jamie: Actually, Andrew, I just had a thought. The Hogwarts song… The only thing I’m thinking about that they could show is that the Weasleys sang it to a funeral march, remember that, maybe?

Eric: Which was cool.

Jamie: No, no, no, it’s cool, but a funeral march. Perhaps it’s a foreshadowing something?

Andrew: Hmmm.

Jamie: Bad things happening to the Weasleys?

[Eric laughs]

Chapter-By-Chapter: Chapter 8, Sorcerer’s Stone

Andrew: So that wraps up this week’s listener rebuttals. Now moving on to chapter-by-chapter, Chapter 8 of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, “The Potions Master.” We’re only doing one chapter this week, because these shows have been getting a little too long, and we can’t fit in all the stuff that we do want to talk about.

Chapter 8 – The Potions Master

Eric: This chapter is devoted to Snape. Or, at least, the name of it is devoted to Professor Snape, which we learn somewhat a bit about. In the previous chapter, we just learn that he was this guy who looked at Harry through Quirrell’s turban, and his scar started hurting. So, anyway. The chapter starts in the morning. I believe it’s the next day, or something like that. It’s describing an overview of how life is at Hogwarts. I’m thinking the first thing is that it’s telling you all about the structure of Hogwarts. Well, first of all, it talks a little bit about gossip. A little bit about, you know, how Harry Potter is getting some interest, and everybody is like, you know, he’s finally at school, and now they’re poking at his scar. Well, not poking it, but they’re looking at it.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Eric: But then it goes into – then it goes into the life at Hogwarts. So, let me just – let me just quote this. “There are one hundred and forty-two staircases at Hogwarts. Wide sweeping ones, narrow rickety ones, some that led somewhere different on Friday, some with a vanishing step halfway up that you had to remember to jump. Then there were doors that wouldn’t open unless you asked politely, or tickled them in exactly the right place.” Kitchens, cough. “And doors that weren’t really doors at all, but solid walls just pretending.” Okay. One of the things I want to point out is that JK establishes so much in this one chapter that relates to future books. Including the tickling. Like, pictures that you had to tickle to get into places, and that’s just – that we didn’t even see that for another three years, but she mentioned it there.

Laura: Not to mention… Well, she talked about doors that would pretend – or, walls that would pretend to be doors, and that’s a little bit of Room of Requirement foreshadowing, except it was really a door pretending to be a wall. But, you know, you get that in there.

Jamie: Go back to the title, which is “The Potions Master,” so it’s completely dedicated to Snape. So we have an entire chapter in the first book dedicated to Snape, and then the entire sixth book, is, you know, its title is completely dedicated to Snape. So, do you think there’s going to be something in the seventh book that kind of shows that those two were foreshadowing us on something massive that’s going to be revealed about Snape?

Eric: Doesn’t Snape have a chapter in every book devoted to him, like “Snape’s Grudge” and…

Jamie: Really?

Eric: …things like that?

Jamie: Oh! Oh, oh, oh. Development

Eric: I mean, isn’t there? I don’t know, is there a Snape-prominent chapter?

Laura: It seems like there was.

Eric: There should be a Snape-prominent chapter in every book, that’d be interesting.

Kevin: Everyone’s opening their books now.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: So in Book 5 it was at least “Snape’s Grudge.” In Book 6, it was like the whole thing.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: What about 3 and 4 and 2? 2, 3 and 4?

Kevin: Here, let me see.

Laura: I think “Snape’s Grudge” was Book 3.

Eric: Oh, okay, so “Snape’s Grudge” would be Book 3. Yeah, I’m sorry. This is a stunning discovery, Jamie.

Andrew: Yeah, it is, and we’ll look into it further when we have more time to look in the books.

Filch and Quirrell

Andrew: Well, moving on to other things, one person that we really learn about in the beginning of this chapter is Argus Filch, when he runs into Harry and Ron. And, it goes: “Filch found them trying to force their way through the door that, unluckily turned out to be the entrance to the out-of-bounds corridor on the third floor. He wouldn’t believe they were lost, was sure they were trying to break into it on purpose, and was threatening to lock them in the dungeons, when they were rescued by Professor Quirrell, who was passing.” So, immediately you see here that Filch is this – this complete jerk, who just assumes the worst, and just gets them into trouble.

Jamie: Yeah, exactly.

Laura: Yeah, and we see that Professor Quirrell was conveniently passing by the third floor corridor.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: But we do learn about Filch also a little after. Hagrid’s talking about him in the cabin at the end of the chapter, and he says that Filch sets Miss Norris on him every time he’s up at the castle to spy on him.

Jamie and Laura: Yes.

Eric: So, that’s more about Filch right there.

Laura: Clearly, Filch doesn’t trust him because he thinks that he was responsible for the Chamber of Secrets thing. So, he doesn’t trust him to walk around the castle.

Jamie: How long has Filch been there, do you think?

Laura: I don’t know, but I would think that he would probably know why Hagrid had been expelled…

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: …or why he was still there.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: Actually, when why were talking about, just back to the first paragraph again – sorry, like the fifth paragraph, but, “There were one hundred and forty-two staircases at Hogwarts.” Now, this mentions that some of them led somewhere different on Friday, but I actually don’t think anywhere in the books it mentions the turning staircases, like the rotating, actual staircases that are in the Hogwarts movies. I think that was completely a plot device added to the movies to make them get to the third floor corridor without doing the midnight duel.

Jamie: Yeah, it could be. Yeah.

Eric: Because in the movies, you see – you guys know what I’m talking about?

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: Because that’s not in the books at all, is it? I mean, the actual turning staircases. So that’s like really cool…

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: …because every new movie trailer, it’s like, “There’s something weird at Hogwarts,” and then it goes down the staircases as they’re turning mischievously. But, that’s really cool.

Andrew: Yeah. [mocking Eric] Oh my god, the stairs are moving! That is so weird, I didn’t read that in the books! What is WB doing? They’re ruining everything!

[Everyone laughs]

Hogwarts = Boring?

Andrew: Ah, calm down. All right, so, right after Filch, Jo goes off onto this tangent about how Hogwarts is just plain old – kids fifteen and under turn your volumes down – plain old sucks.

Laura: I don’t think that was what she meant. I think she meant it was overwhelming.

Andrew: Did you read this? Read this, right now.

Eric: “Harry found that he would rather have been back at the Dursleys, getting pounded to shrimp by Dudley.” Oh, I see it now. I see.

Andrew: Yeah, okay? There was a lot more to magic, as Harry quickly found out.

[Laura giggles]

Andrew: “They had to study the night skies through a telescope every Wednesday at midnight, and learn the names of different stars and the movements of the planets. Three times a week they went up to the greenhouses behind the castle to study Herbology with a dumpy little witch called Professor Sprout…”

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: “…where they learned how to take care of the strange plants and fungi, and they found out what the were used for. Easily the most boring class was History of Magic.” That’s the way I get it.

Kevin: Yeah, but you have to remember…

Eric: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait.

Kevin: Hold on.

Eric: This is just setting up the story. It’s a …

Kevin: You have to remember, it’s going from the – it’s coming from the view…

Laura: Yeah.

Kevin: …of someone who has just started school.

Laura: It’s overwhelming. I don’t think it was meant to be sucky.

Kevin: Go up to anyone who has just started school…

Andrew: I know, that…

Kevin: I’ll ask you, at the beginning of next year, how you like school, and what you’re going to tell me is, it’s horrible…

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: …you’ve got to work, there’s crappy, you know, teachers, they don’t teach you anything, every thing’s hard, you have to do all this work, there’s no end to it, you know? It’s just, you know, it’s written from Harry’s view point. And at that time in the story it was probably horrible because it’s brand new, and, you know, it’s school.

Jamie: Mhm.

Laura: Not to mention, I think Jo is probably trying to set her magical world apart from anyone else’s, because when you think of a children’s book about wizards, most people are going to automatically think of a bunch of kids sitting around, waving sticks and yelling “Hocus pocus!”

Kevin: Yep.

Jamie: Yeah. Yeah, that’s true.

Laura: So she’s definitely trying to make it different.

Eric: Exactly. She had to establish that it was a true boarding school point and we’ve talked about this, too – how in the movies the classroom scenes are what, you know, fans like to relate to and stuff and compare it to classes. So JKR is simply introducing the class structure through which she would be using, you know, in every plot, you know, of every book. Like how they had classes certain, days of the week which is cool because American schools aren’t all like that – mine isn’t. And she introduces other things like Herbology and Professor Sprout, which we don’t find out about until next book and things like Astronomy. Now it says, “They had to study the night skies through their telescopes every Wednesday at midnight…” So since Year One, Harry’s been taking Astronomy and we did not see the Astronomy tower being used for Astronomy class until he took his OWLs in like, Book 5 or something.

Laura: Book 5. During the OWLs.

Eric: Yeah. But that just shows how long JKR can go without – you know, she introduced it and told us it was there and that there is Astronomy and she mentions it a hundred times later, but we never actually saw it until books later.

Kevin: Yeah.

Eric: So she’s just, she’s establishing this stuff to get it down into writing so she can write about it later.

Andrew: I guess. But I don’t know. It just comes off to me like she’s trying to make it look like it sucks. Because yeah – because Harry’s a new student and he doesn’t expect much of it.

Kevin: Yeah. I think it’s just…

[Laura laughs]

Kevin: I think it’s just, you know, it’s just a new student’s perspective. Not every kid is going to like school the first couple…

Andrew: No I – not at all. I love school, too.

Laura: I think you just have a vendetta against school, Andrew.

Andrew: Laura, you’re home-schooled.

Laura: I mean, I don’t know why. I mean, god, I love school.

More On Filch and Quirrell

Eric: [laughs] All right, all right. Something else JKR established is the Marauder’s Map, kind of. If you look on page 133.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: What? No guys, well she at least – okay. When she’s talking about Filch she says, “Filch knew the secret passageways…”

Jamie: 133?

Kevin: “…better than anyone (except the Weasley…)”

Eric: “(…except perhaps the Weasley twins)…” It’s like this thing out there that’s like – it’s just so cool because right now she’s telling us that the Weasley twins could give Filch a run for his money with the knowledge of Hogwarts passageways, and we don’t know why we think that’s funny. We think, “Oh they’re pranksters so that would make sense,” and then we move on. But here it is in writing, books before it happens. The magic of JKR. They go to Transfiguration and then Defense Against the Dark Arts, except they’re kind of a joke, which isn’t surprising. And then it just says…

Laura: Which there is when we first see Professor Quirrell’s turban.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: Yes.

Laura: And he can’t explain how he got it from an Arabian – excuse me – from an African prince.

Jamie: “But they weren’t sure they believed this story.”

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: There you go.

Eric: Which kind of reminded me of Lockhart.

Laura: And it smells funny. I thought that was weird.

Jamie: No, no it says, “His turban, he told them, had been given to him by an African prince as a thank-you for getting rid of a troublesome zombie, but they weren’t sure they believed this story.” That’s what it says.

Eric: When Seamus…

Laura: Mhm.

Eric: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Laura: And then I think it was like, Seamus asked him, and he couldn’t explain it.

Andrew: And then the Weasley twins insisted that it was stuffed full of garlic, as well, so that Quirrell was protected [laughs] wherever he went.

Potions and Professor Snape

Eric: Then it’s time for double Potions with the Slytherins.

Kevin: He added some effect to that.

Eric: Uh-oh.

Andrew: O-M-G.

Laura: Gasp.

Eric: Okay, here’s an interesting thing – the description of Snape.

Kevin: Dun, dun, dun.

Eric: Ooh the description of Snape.

Jamie: No, no, wait, before you go there, you’ve missed something. Hey – sorry, I was just going to say, it’s just there’s a bit on pg. 101 in the British version, Eric…

[Kevin laughs]

Jamie: …can you translate that?

Eric: About Hagrid’s letter?

Jamie: Yes about when it says, “At the start-of-term banquet…” No it says, “At the start-of-term banquet, Harry had gotten the idea that Professor Snape disliked him. By the end of the first Potions lesson, he knew he’d been wrong. Snape didn’t dislike Harry – he hated him.”

Eric: Oh yeah.

Jamie: Now, that isn’t true. So, well you know, it isn’t really true. He doesn’t actually hate him. He dislikes him because of his father. So I think that just shows that people – characters can be wrong. Harry’s completely wrong there.

Eric: I don’t know. Actually it’s pg. 136 in the US edition, 101 in the UK, 136. “Snape didn’t dislike Harry, he hated him.” Well, I don’t know. If you think about it, there’s a lot of – Harry later asks Hagrid why specifically he hates him and Hagrid chooses not to answer it.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: And it seems like a lot of focus is brought on to Harry. It’s not like, I don’t know, I think Harry would be able to distinguish between hating Harry and hating something about him. Like I mean, Snape is genuinely picking on Harry.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: Not like picking on his father or saying anything like that. He’s picking on Harry and his moral character by saying that he’s a celebrity and that, you know, he’s arrogant. Snape calls Harry arrogant.

Jamie: Does hate – hatred’s a very, very strong emotion. Like the way he speaks about Harry, it just sounds like he doesn’t like him. He thinks he’s arrogant so he wants to get something back on him, but hatred – it doesn’t sound like he hates him. If you hated somebody, do you really want anything at all to do with them? Wouldn’t you rather just never see them again?

Eric: That’s a good point and I think – I think you’re right. The arrogance does stem from, obviously, James’ arrogance, you know, he has a good reason to believe Harry’s would be…

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: I know what you mean. Well, hated is also, I guess, used lightly here like, you know, what else could go wrong for Harry and kind of in Harry’s mind there’s this teacher who just really just doesn’t even…

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Eric: …and I think it was used for emphasis, you know, comparison like, “Oh he didn’t just dislike him.”

Jamie: In the American version is the word “hated” in italics?

Eric: Yes.

Jamie: Is it in italics – the word “hated”?

Eric: Uh-huh.

Jamie: Yeah, okay. Fine, yeah. Just wondering.

Eric: Cool.

Jamie: After that it says, “They were cold and empty and made you think of dark tunnels.” The dark tunnel to the Department of Mysteries?

Eric: Actually I think of dark tunnels, I think of the Chamber of Secrets, but yeah.

Jamie: But I just thought – you know, the Occlumency.

Eric: Oh yeah, dark tunnels is a brilliant thing but I mean, then at first she says, well, it says, it’s pg. 136. Andrew, it says, “Snape finished calling the names and looked up at the class. His eyes were black like Hagrid’s, but they had none of Hagrid’s warmth.” So that’s an interesting – like, “They were black like Hagrid’s…”

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: …which tells us that Hagrid – but I don’t even know why she’s making that comparison. She, you know, “…but they had none of Hagrid’s warmth.” I guess she’s just using that to contrast.

Laura: I just sort of thought that it was a way to kind of describe Snape’s personality without going into too much detail. I mean, I think it’s – I think it’s really kind of a brilliant deduction to, you know, draw the Occlumency and the Department of Mysteries and the Chamber of Secrets though.

Andrew: So then we get into the Potions class and oh it’s just – this just goes terrible for Harry. Of course, Snape right off the bat has absolutely – is just rippin’ on poor Harry. Starts asking him a bunch of questions about little facts. Of course he doesn’t know. Well, Hermione does but…

Jamie: What about the actual things? I mean, the bezoar was important in Book 6 when he had to save Ron and the wolfsbane, you know, saved – well it helped Lupin in Book 3. What about monkshood, asphodel and wormwood?

Kevin: The fact that we haven’t seen some of the herbs that are mentioned in Snape’s class?

Jamie: Well, we’ve seen some of them…

Kevin: Well, we’ve seen some of them and the fact that we haven’t seen all of them may be foreshadowing that we will see all of them.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: So Snape continues to pick – Snape continues to pick on him.

Kevin: It really did help establish his character in the sense that – especially this small little paragraph. He said – I believe Neville spilt something and he said, “Idiot boy!” and then wiped it away with just the sweep of his hand. He sort of made like a huge, huge deal about it and then he simply just waved his hand and it was gone. So it was sort of like, slapping the kids in the face in the sense that, you know, he was yelling at them – screaming at them – and it was very easy to handle. It’s not as though, you know, they broke a priceless…

Jamie: Statue. Yeah. Also, also to do with that – he only took one point off Harry then, and then one more point after…

Kevin: Right.

Jamie: …after Neville’s cauldron broke – burned down. But you know, as we get further into the books, he starts taking ten, then 20, then threatens to take 50 points off him. I don’t know if that just means that he’s turning meaner or something, but there could be something there.

Kevin: Either that or he’s assuming that they’re knowing more and…

Jamie: Yeah, yeah. Or that.

Hagrid’s Hut

Andrew: So they leave the class, then it’s time to accept Hagrid’s invite and head down to Hagrid’s hut. I think this is the first time that Harry and Ron are both going into the hut, right?

Jamie: Yep.

Laura: Yep.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: So they try to get in and we first see Fang. Well, we hear Hagrid trying to get Fang out of the way, and they go in and they see all of this stuff in Hagrid’s hut, “Hams and pheasants were hanging from the ceiling, a copper kettle was boiling on the open fire, and in the corner stood a massive bed with the patchwork quilt over it.” Then Harry spots the latest issue of the Daily Prophet where – actually no, it was the cutting from the Daily Prophet.

Kevin: And it’s somewhat important that they did say cutting because it had direct relevance to the Sorcerer’s Stone.

Andrew: Yeah, but why would he save the article specifically? That’s what I’d don’t get.

Kevin: I don’t know.

Jamie: Just because…

Kevin: I think it was just her subtle way of pointing out that he was paying attention to it.

Laura: I don’t know if there is any specific reason.

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: It’s a good plot point.

Andrew: Oh, okay.

Kevin: So a reader would see cutting and say, “Oooo, Hagrid has taken attention to it.”

Jamie: Sorry.

Andrew: It’s funny we spot all this stuff. Why aren’t we noticing this in Book 6? It’s just going to aggravate me when we read Book 7 and then all of a sudden…

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: …”Oh, it was right there in front of us.” I mean this only gives away what’s later in the books.

Kevin: Yeah, but still I mean…

Andrew: It’s nothing huge but…

Kevin: I know, it is. Yeah.

Andrew: It’s keeping us trained. [laughs] Well, Harry calls it out. He saying, “What’s happened? This was the same day we went to Gringotts.” And like you said, Kevin, “Oh it’s nothing.”

Kevin: Of course, that’s the worst thing you can tell a curious teenager.

Andrew: Now we are all set up for the rest of Book 7 – or Book 1, sorry.

The Sorcerer’s Stone

Jamie: One last thing. Where it says, “Had that been what the thieves were looking for. ” This is going to be a real long-shot, but obviously Harry doesn’t know how many people broke into Gringotts to try and steal the thing, but should we assume that it was Quirrell who broke in or was it Quirrell who had Voldemort on his head at the time who broke in?

Andrew: Yeah, I was wondering that too.

Laura: I don’t think it was Quirrell that had Voldemort because when Harry met him…

Jamie: Oh yeah.

Laura: …at the Leaky Cauldron, there was absolutely no mention of a turban.

Andrew: Wait, at the forums? I didn’t know they had computers.

Jamie: What?

Andrew: I’m sorry.

Laura: [laughs] No.

Andrew: I thought it was funny.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Jamie: No, it isn’t.

Andrew: All right…

Laura: Yeah, not really.

Andrew: Sorry.

Laura: But okay, you tried. [laughs]

Andrew: So, what are you saying? That Voldemort was with him?

Laura: No, I don’t think he was. I think that he had direction from Voldemort, but I don’t think Voldemort was, at that time, attached to his head.

Andrew: Now, did Hagrid have – this might have been what you were going to ask – how did Hagrid or Dumbledore know this was going to happen? Like, was this good timing?

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Was it just coincidence or did they get a little tip that this could be happening?

Jamie: Perhaps it shows that there’s somebody on the inside that sort of told Quirrell – oh no of course, that’s what it is.

Andrew: Snape?

Jamie: No, no, it’s Quirrell – it’s Quirrell. Like, perhaps Dumbledore had told the teachers that he’d be emptying it on a certain day and then they emptied it and then Quirrell broke in after – later on that day to try and get out but it had already been taken.

Andrew: Too late?

Jamie: Yeah, just too late.

Andrew: Yeah, but why would he tell them?

Jamie: Because he’s trusting.

Laura: Well, because the teachers were involved…

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: …with making all the obstacles to block it.

Jamie: Yeah, it could be.

Laura: It could have been just good timing.

Jamie: How do you think Voldemort asked Quirrell if he could stick out the back of his head?

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Because it isn’t something you bring up over dinner.

Andrew: Maybe he realized…

Laura: He probably didn’t ask him. He probably just did it.

Jamie: Yeah, but I’d love so much if somebody said to me, “Right, don’t argue, I’m going to stick out the back of your head.”

Andrew: , did Quirrell have any hair before that then? Or was Voldemort like, “Shave it!”

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, he was like, “Please, it would be really itchy if I have to sit in that mat of long hair. I fancy add some color as well, and a protein pack and then I’ll be really comfortable.”

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, that must have been awkward. “Hey, can I live in the back of your head?”

Jamie: Yeah, exactly.

Andrew: “Shave all you hair, too.” Weird, Voldemort. You’re weird.

Jamie: He is weird, completely weird.

Andrew: He’s a perv.

Jamie: He is, coming out of the back of his head.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Chosen his ass.

Kevin: He could have chosen worse places guys.

Jamie: He could.

Andrew: Like seriously, no, but why the head?

Laura: Because it’s probably the easiest place to cover up that’s not…

Kevin: No, the stomach.

Laura: Gross.

Andrew: No it’s not. [laughs] The stomach?

Laura: Would you want to live on someone’s stomach?

Andrew: Do you want to live on someone’s head?

Laura: I’d rather live there. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: I think, make it more discreet. How much work does it take to pull that turban off his head?

Jamie: Exactly.

Laura: Yeah, but wouldn’t anyone notice if he had a face-shaped bulge under his shirt or robes or something?

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: I guess so. You just wear a lot of heavy clothing. All right, so that wraps up this weeks Chapter-by-Chapter. Who knows, maybe we’ll open some new theories on why on earth Voldemort is on Quirrell’s head.

Jamie: Yeah, there are so many other places.

Andrew: All right, next week we will be reading Chapter 9. Probably not Chapter 10, probably just Chapter 9. I’m looking at in now, looks pretty long. One chapter a week seems the way to do it.

Voicemail – Dreams

Andrew: Moving along it’s time for the general voicemail questions this week. The first one comes from Ashley for Ontario, Canada.

[Audio]: Hi Mugglecast. This is Ashley from Ontario, Canada. In Episode 33, you mentioned some foreshadowing about Quirrell being associated with Voldemort when Harry has the dream at the end of Chapter 7. I was wondering what you think about the flash of light that Harry also sees. Could this be foreshadowing too? Malfoy turns to look at Snape and then Harry sees the green light. Do you think this could be foreshadowing to either A) Snape killing Draco or B) Draco being murdered by Voldemort in Book 7 since, as we know from later on, Quirrell is associated with Voldemort? Thanks guys. Can’t wait to hear what you have to say. I love your show!

Laura: I don’t think so. I think Harry is merely associating the green light from the Avada Kedavra curse with Snape because right now he assumes that Snape is evil and he thinks Snape has something to do with what’s going on. At least because he knows Snape hates him.

Andrew: I remember reading somewhere once with dreams, you’re just mixing all your thoughts together.

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: Whether we put that into a show or I remember hearing that recently.

Laura: I think it was really just to show Harry’s anxiety about being in this, just really strange world.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah. Although, haven’t there been dreams in the books where it’s sort of foreshadowed stuff?

Laura: Yeah, there have, but I don’t think that it’s reasonable to assume that every dream Harry has is foreshadowing something.

Andrew: Well, yeah, I’m just saying that it’s not like this always happens, sort of thing.

Laura: Mhm.

Andrew: All right, next voicemail.

Voicemail – The Elixir Of Life?

[Audio]: Hi MuggleCast, this is Lara from North Carolina, US and I was wondering in Chapter 8 on page 137, US edition, Snape tells the class that he can even put a stopper in death with his potions. Do you think that has something to do with Voldemort and his Horcruxes? Thanks! I love your show! Bye!

Jamie: No, because I don’t think it’s a potion. You can’t call what happens when you create a Horcrux a potion. But, it’s interesting, a stopper in death? You don’t think that could be the Elixir of Life?

Andrew: Is the Elixir of Life a potion?

Jamie: Well, it’s a drink. And you have to keep drinking it.

Andrew: So it could be. Yeah, it could be a potion.

Jamie: He could mean that. He could mean that.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Well, a stopper in death. As you now know, I was thinking about Snape’s protection on the stone at the end, but I don’t know if that really fits.

Laura: I agree with you guys.

Voicemail – The Necklace

[Audio]: Hi, MuggleCast. This is Julia Black from Cambridge, Illinois, and I noticed something while rereading the series this week with my friend. And I could be crazy that no one’s noticed this before, but I didn’t see it on the little things at MuggleNet and I just wanted to say that in Chapter 4 of the Chamber of Secrets on pg. 52, it says “Do not touch. Cursed. Has claimed the lives of 19 Muggle owners to date” when Harry sees a magnificent necklace of opals that Draco’s looking at. And then Draco asks for it. Is it just me or could this be the necklace that’s cursed that’s mentioned in the chapter in Half-Blood Prince? Just a thought!

Laura: I don’t think so.

Andrew: I don’t really remember a necklace. Do you, Laura?

Laura: I think the necklace that was mentioned was the one that was in Grimmauld Place.

Kevin: No, I think that was the locket they’re referring to, Laura.

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: I’m confused.

Kevin: Well, the voicemail somewhat broke up at the end. I believe what they’re referring to is – wasn’t it Katie who got the necklace?

Jamie: Yeah. Got something from the necklace

Andrew: Yeah, yeah.

Laura: Oh, okay!

Kevin: Well, in Half-Blood Prince, it says, “He crouched down. An ornate opal necklace was visible poking out of the paper.”

Jamie: Exactly the same words, yeah. I think there’s no doubt that it is the same one.

Laura: Well then, yeah.

Kevin: Yeah. Yeah, I think. And it would make sense because Draco saw it in the shop.

Jamie: Yeah. What did, what did Hermione offer to buy in Half-Blood Prince that cost one-and-a-half thousand Galleons? Was that – was that a necklace?

Kevin: Oh, it was a necklace as well, but I’m not sure it was the same necklace. Here, let me find it: “Hermione strolled through the jumble of objects on display. ‘Is this necklace for sale?’ she said, pausing behind the glass-fronted case.”

Jamie: Yeah, it had to be the same one.

Kevin: “‘If you’ve got one-and-a-half thousand galleons.'”

Jamie: I think that when – what’s his name? Borgin frowns and says, “If you have one-and-a-half thousand galleons.” He was just annoyed that Hermione, who clearly couldn’t afford one-and-a-half thousand galleons was asking, but it could be because he was holding it for Malfoy. And he was thinking, you know, if someone can out-bid Malfoy, he can have it. Or it’s just an ironic comment or something.

Kevin: Oh yeah, absolutely. Not to mention, I don’t think Malfoy purchased it. I think that Voldemort told, yeah. So definitely, I think without a doubt that it’s the same necklace.

Jamie: Yeah. I agree.

Laura: Mhm.

Kevin: I mean, maybe you could speculate that it wasn’t, but…

Laura: Well, it’s the same wording. So…

Jamie: Yeah, the same wording. Because I thought in Chamber of Secrets when they talked about the necklace, they were offering it as a kind of, you know, interesting thing about the shop. But I guess it really was a foreshadowing thing for Half-Blood Prince.

Andrew: Why was Draco interested in it in Chamber of Secrets, though? Was he already into that?

Jamie: Ah! Didn’t think about that. I don’t know.

Andrew: Is it – or was that just his personality, like, he finds things like that cool, and then he remembered it in Book 6?

Laura: I think that something that killed 19 Muggles would greatly appeal to him.

Andrew: Right.

Jamie: Don’t forget, he was interesting – he was interested in the necklace and he was interested in the Hand of Glory, and both feature prominently in Half-Blood Prince. He used the Hand of Glory to get around Fred and George’s nighttime stuff, you know, Peruvian Blackness stuff.

Laura: That – yeah.

Jamie: And he used the necklace to hurt Katie. So it could have just – you know, it could have just been foreshadowing, and perhaps he was, by that point, thinking about joining Voldemort. So he had the two objects. So I don’t know, something like that. But it was clearly for – er, foreshadowing.

Kevin: It’s funny how she drew from the first book to, you know – she drew that object from the first book to put in the sixth. So, I wonder how many objects we’ve missed in the first or – you know, the first books, that she hasn’t mentioned.

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: Probably loads. [laughs]

Kevin: Yeah. We could probably deduce what she – yeah. We could probably deduce what she intends to put in Book 7 based on the…

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: …objects that she…

Jamie: Yeah, definitely.

Kevin: …hasn’t already mentioned.

Voicemail Requests

Andrew: That wraps up this week’s voicemails. You know, guys, I – Kevin, you’ve been telling me this, and I’m starting to get a little worried. We’ve been a little short on voicemails lately.

Kevin: We have. I think I had maybe 20 in the box? Although I did have people calling me as I was getting the voicemails.

[Andrew laughs]

Kevin: So, you know, that’s a good sign. But I don’t know. Maybe it’s my Skype, or…

Andrew: No, I don’t think – I think it’s them! [laughs] Don’t forget, everyone…

Kevin: I think it’s shyness.

Andrew: What’s the number? One, two-one-eight? Don’t forget – [laughs] I forget the number.

[Kevin laughs]

Andrew: That’s probably what it is, people forget what the heck the number is. Don’t forget everyone, you can still call the MuggleCast voicemail quote, unquote “hotline” so you can put your very on question on the show. You don’t need a microphone, you don’t need to email us like we used to require.

Kevin: You mean dark ages.

Andrew: You just call 1-218-MAGIC (62442), and then you can hear a little message from me, and then record your question and Kevin Steck will go through them early in the week and pick some of the best ones out to air on the show.

Kevin: Yeah, so if you suck up to me…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Don’t listen to him.

Kevin: …you’re more likely to get your voicemail on the show. [laughs]

Andrew: Right, and then you can also send in your voice comments that appear at the end of the show every week. Well, almost every week.

[Laura sighs]

Andrew: All right, now it’s time for our second of, hopefully what will be many, editorial segments.

Editorial Segment – Katie and Sara

Laura: Hi everyone! Welcome back to our editorial segment. This week we’re joined by MuggleNet editors Katie Knish and Sara Greer. Hi guys! Thanks for joining us!

Katie: Hi!

Sara: Hey!

Laura: Okay, so first of, why don’t you two start with a little bit of background information about yourselves? Katie?

Katie: Well, my name’s Katie and I’m a junior in high school, and I’m from LaPorte, Indiana. And I got the job after I applied in July and they picked me. Go, Sara!

Sara: [laughs] Well, my name is Sara, and I am one of the older editors. I’m from Biloxi, Mississippi. I’ve been with the site for about a year and a half and love every minute of it! So…

Micah: Okay. I guess the first question for you guys would be, are there specific featured editorial segments that you guys are responsible for, or do you just handle the – like, general editorials that get posted up?

Katie: I handle – [laughs] I handle mainly the general editorials. I help with that. And I’m sort of unofficially in charge of Madam Puddifoot’s, the shipping thing.

Laura: Yeah, speaking of Madam Puddifoot’s, [pronounces it pudee-foots] Puddifoot’s, however you say it – what would you say are some of the most out-there editorials you’ve gotten about a certain ship?

Katie: Oh… oh! Sara, do you remember the – the Ron one that we had to have a rebuttal for?

Sara: I remember the backlash, yeah. [laughs] Basically, that – basically that Ron, Ron was showing signs of – he would, you know, he was going to be an abusive partner for Hermione, because he was jealous and very outgoing.

Katie: Yeah. They cited – they cited “Dear Abby.”

Laura: Wow! [laughs]

Katie: So [laughs] it wasn’t exactly the most credible…

[Katie and Sara laugh]

Laura: So – so nothing like Dobby/Giant Squid, right?

Katie: Ugh. We don’t – we tend to – we limit it to the human ships.

Sara: [laughs] Yeah.

Katie: That’s where we draw the line.

Micah: So Sara [laughs], what about you in terms of featured sections?

Sara: Well, I’m in charge of The U-Bend, which is our funny – our two funny guys, Andrew and Robert. And lately I’ve been helping Sharon, one of our other editors, with Robbie Fischer’s Magic Quill and The Book Trolley, the book recommendations. So, on top of…

Micah: The Magic Quill had been around for a while, hasn’t it?

Sara: Yeah, it’s one of our oldest. It’s a fan fiction column, and it’s just – he’s great at it. He’s great at writing whatever we need him to write. [laughs] But that’s basically his entire idea, so…

Micah: Okay and, now, do you decide what goes up on the site based upon the content of it, or does it have to be well-written? Like, does anything that’s well-written – is that going to get put up versus something that may be, might have some questionable content?

Sara: Basically, it’s helps if it’s well-written, but that’s not – you know, we’re looking for things that haven’t been discussed. We get so many editorials on the same topic and there’s only so many ways you can discuss one thing. So we look for new ideas – or we hope, you know, to get new ideas. But lately it’s been Horcruxes and Dumbledore and Snape and R.A.B. So…

Micah: Now, do you have to personally agree with what goes up?

Katie: No, no, of course not.

Sara: Nope.

Katie: If – if that were the case, we probably wouldn’t have posted the Ron is a batterer editorial.

Sara: Right. We try to stay as minded as possible, just because there are so many different ideas out there. We don’t want to stifle anybody’s ideas because who knows who is going to be right in the end?

Laura: So just out of curiosity, how many editorials would you say you get per day or per week?

Sara: In the heyday – what I like to call our heyday [laughs], which was in between Order of the Phoenix and Half-Blood Prince, we were getting anywhere from 50 to 100 per day, you know. And lately it’s dropped off because it seems like so many things had been answered in Half-Blood Prince. So I would say now, probably 20 per day, 30 per day.

Laura: Wow, that’s still a lot.

Katie: Mmmm.

Laura: Out of all those submissions, what percentage would you say actually make it onto the site?

Sara: Katie? [laughs] Right now…

Katie: A small, small percentage.

Sara: Yeah, because like I said, there are still – a lot of them are basically on the same – the same topics. So…

Katie: Some of them are just bad, to be completely frank, some of them are just terrible.

Sara: We don’t want to discourage anybody from writing for us, though. We love to get good and bad – it’s just [laughs] sometimes they are really bad and really shortsighted, or we’ve already posted something, you know, a few months back, and we don’t want to repeat all the time. So…

Micah: So what advice would you give to people that are looking to write editorials? Maybe some mistakes you’ve seen in the past that maybe people can correct? Because obviously, you know, as we get closer to Book 7 – and Movie 5, even – if people want to write about that, there’s going to be some that come up.

Sara: Katie?

Katie: I’m pulling up the page that we made…

[Sara laughs]

Katie: Sara made a Writing and Submitting Tips page that you guys should check out if you’re considering writing an editorial. The page mentions that grammar is important, and, as is spelling, and if you – you can – [sighs] I hate to say this, but you can probably be a bit more lax on the grammar and the spelling within the editorial. But please don’t have a spelling or grammar error in the subject of the e-mail.

[Sara laughs]

Katie: Because I’m probably not…

Sara: Yeah.

Katie: …going to read it if you do. Stay away from dead horses, like we’ve said before – Snape’s loyalty to Dumble…

Sara: I’m sorry for that phrase – dead horses, that’s actually terrible. I should – [laughs] I should rewrite that.

[Katie laughs]

Sara: [laughs] But it gets the point across, so…

Katie: And those are Snape’s loyalty to Dumbledore and whether or not Dumbledore’s dead, whether or not Harry’s a Horcrux, [sighs] and whether or not [laughs] Harry will die at the end of Book 7. Take your time writing, cite everything. Be sure your editorial is ready for publication before sending it in.

Sara: Yeah.

Katie: Don’t send us a revised copy, because then we have to go and find the one that you sent in the first time, and it’s just – it’s a big pain.

Sara: Our email – we have storage where we have kept as many editorials, you know, as we can, and it gets really confusing when people send, you know, “Oh, by the way, I made a few changes, here’s my editorial I sent you one, maybe two weeks ago.” And we have to go back and find that one and delete it so that we don’t confuse the two, and it’s really hard to keep up sometimes. So that would be very helpful if they’re positively sure that they’re ready to be, you know, posted on the site, if it was chosen.

Micah: Now you guys – you’re the editors, you have to have some favorite editorials. Maybe featured sections, maybe, you know, just regular individual ones that you post. Which ones have kind of stood out to you guys?

Katie: The favorite one that I’ve – my favorite that I’ve posted so far is Is Draco Malfoy A Werewolf?

[Sara laughs]

Katie: …which I’m pretty sure was mentioned on MuggleCast a long time ago. But that was…

Micah: Yes it was!

Katie: Mhm.

Micah: I got shot down for that theory. That’s all right!

Katie: I posted that one. I enjoyed that one, and I’d say my favorite section is not The Burrow. [laughs]

[Micah laughs]

Sara: That one’s really tough, we have to come up with ideas, you know, and ugh… It’s – it’s tough.

Katie: But actually I think Spinner’s End, the newest one from Lady Lupin. That’s got to be my favorite column.

Sara: I’ve – I’ve had this one editorial that I’ve like for a long time. It was really – It didn’t get a lot of attention or really in the forums right when I posted it, but it’s called The Physics of Magic, by Matt Blackstone, I think it is. And he just gives a really – it’s a really commonsense explanation of the science behind magic, and I don’t know. I wish people would check that out. And it was posted in – I think in July or August, right before Half-Blood Prince came out. So, that’s one of my favorite editorials, and then of course I am really impartial to The U-Bend, just because it’s a different take on the series. They’re just really funny guys, and I’ve enjoyed working with them.

Micah: It’s much more light-hearted.

Sara: Yes, it is. They don’t get half as much credit as they should.

[Sara laughs]

Laura: Okay, we are going to do a Special Surprise Lightening Round, where we ask you two some of your opinions on some of the most popular theories, anything within the Harry Potter books. So, Micah, take it away!

Micah: All right, we need some music here at the beginning.

[Laura laughs]

Micah: So, first question. Harry, live or die? And Katie, you can go first.

Katie: Die.

Sara: Live. I say live.

[Laura laughs]

Laura: Favorite movie?

Katie: Goblet of Fire.

Sara: Goblet of Fire, definitely.

Micah: Snape, good or evil?

Katie: Good.

Sara: Evil.

Katie: Oh my god!

Sara: I’m sorry. I think he’s evil.

[Laura laughs]

Micah: I like this, I think we got a little…

Laura: What’s your favorite book?

Micah: Harry Potter book.

Katie: Goblet of Fire, Goblet of Fire.

Sara: I have to agree, Goblet of Fire.

Micah: And finally, Dumbledore, dead or alive?

Katie: Dead! So dead!

[Sara laughs]

Katie: Very dead.

Laura: [laughs] I love you! I love you! That’s awesome!

Sara: It’s the simplest answer. I agree, I think he’s dead, sadly.

Katie: And I mean… Even if it was – Even if Snape didn’t have the hatred to back up the AK, he fell off a tower!

[Everybody laughs]

Laura: Thank you, thank you! You support my theory, thank you!

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: All right, I’m going to go cry now.

Laura: All right, well, while Micah’s crying, I think we’re running out of time here. So Katie and Sara, thank you for joining us this week.

Sara: Thank you!

Katie: Thank you!

Laura: It was really great to have you. I think we all had a good time and you all did a great job. So hopefully we’ll have you back on some time!

Sara: That would be fun.

Laura: Awesome. And also to all prospective editorialists, if you have a great editorial, please e-mail either Micah, or myself laura at staff dot mugglenet dot com, or micah at staff dot mugglenet dot com. And you know, show us what you have, and maybe you can be on the show.

Micah: Yeah, we’re looking for people who have already done editorials, right?

Laura: Mhm.

Micah: That have already been posted on MuggleNet.

Laura: Yes.

Micah: And if you guys are interested in coming on the show, discussing your editorial, shoot us an e-mail and give us a link to the editorial and we’ll look it over and we’ll be in touch with you guys.

Laura: All right, bye everyone, we’ll see you next time!

[Sara laughs]

Katie: I love you all.

Jamie’s British Joke Of The Day

Andrew: Think you Laura and Micah. Now Jamie, it is time for another British Joke of the Day!

Jamie: There’s a boy, and he’s born with no torso and no limbs at all. Okay?

Kevin: Yeah.

Jamie: And he lives his life with his dad for 18 years. Then he turns 18 and his dad takes him down to a pub for his first drink. And he buys him a pint of beer and he drinks the pint of beer and his torso grows back. And his dad thinks this is unbelievable, “I’m going to have to buy him another drink.” He buys him one more pint of beer, he drinks it, and his arms grow back. By now the dad’s thinking it must be a miracle. So he buys him another pint of beer, and his legs grow back. The son is so, so happy that he runs right out of the pub, into the street and gets run over by a bus. His dad walks outside and says, “Oh no, he should have quit when he was ahead.”

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Hey!

Laura: My driving instructor told me that one.

Show Close

Andrew [Show Close with music in background]: Next week on MuggleCast 35 we will have chapter-by-chapter discussion of Chapter 9 in Sorcerer’s Stone. And don’t forget to send in your voicemails, comments, questions, whatever you want to mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com. Actually, send your voicemails to 1-218-20-MAGIC, just call, give it a call. We’re working on a British number. You know where we’re really popular? And I’m not even joking. Australia. We get emails all the time from Australia.

Kevin: Yeah, yeah we do. And I used to get a lot of voicemails.

Andrew: So we need an Australian number?

Kevin: Yes, we do. Definitely.

Andrew: Right, we’ll get an Australian number soon as we can. It’ll be 1-218-20…

Eric: Cranky Magic! Or kangaroo.

Kevin: It wouldn’t be 218 though.

Andrew: It’s a Horcrox! I can’t do it.

Eric: Horcrox!

Andrew: It’s a crock!

Eric: Oh, crock.

Andrew: It’s a Horcrock! All right with that, I’m Andrew Sims.

Eric: I’m Eric Scull.

Kevin: I’m Kevin Steck.

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Andrew: And we’ll see everyone next week for Episode 35.

Eric: Ciao!

Andrew: And for two weeks only there’s a character in all of us and now you can share your unique character with the world, at ShowUsYourCharacter.com. Join now and begin uploading your videos, photos, and profile. You can share a hidden talent, show off your celebrity impersonations, or give the Show Us your Character community a glimpse into your life. Chat and interact with thousands of other members and get to know some of the characters of the United States. You’ve got what it takes to be a star. Enter the 2006 Show Us Your Character Contest to find out if you’re America’s most unique character and you can win a chance to be featured on the computer screen, the TV screen, and even the big screen. Enter now at ShowUsYourCharacter.com.


[Groovy music starts]

[Audio]: Hey this is Mary Ellis from west side Georgia and I’d like to say I love MuggleCast and keep up the good work! Bye!

[Audio]: Hey, MuggleCast, my name’s Katie and I’m from outside of Atlanta, but I’m in Savannah now and I listened to MuggleCast all the way here. And it helps me keep my mind off of getting carsick. Thank you so much!

[Audio]: Hi, this is Carol and Julia from Pasarelli, California and we just called to say, “We love you Andrew!”

[Audio]: Hi, my name is Erin and I go by Eirbear on the forums. I’m from Wetherington, Ohio, but I live [some town in Ohio] currently because I got to school. Anyway, I just want to say that I love MuggleCast – my roommate and I listen every week and we count down the minutes until the next episode comes out and we laugh along with it. So I just want to thank you guys for just putting together such a great podcast, bye!

[Audio]: Hey MuggleCast, this is Chelsea and Dobby, we’re from Massachusetts. We’re just calling to say: We love MuggleCast, woohoo! I am Dobby.

[Groovy music Ends]


Andrew: But yes, it’s going to be on one big screen…

Jamie: It’s going to be – no, seriously. It’s going to be like five meters by ten meters – it’s going to be huge.

Andrew: See, wait, we don’t do meters here!

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Yeah that’s like? Yeah, what is it? It’s like five meters by ten meters…

Andrew: We do inches!

Jamie: You do inches? What?

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Sorry, Jamie.

Jamie: Since you’re actually going to say… Well, I do inches as well…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: But not for TVs.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Well actually no, it’s feet, it’s feet for that. Anyway…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Wow!

Jamie: No, but seriously there’s no way. If a TV is that big, you don’t talk about inches, do you? If it’s like a massive one in Time Square, you don’t say ” Oh, it’s four thousand nine hundred sixty-five inches.”

Andrew: There’s not going to be a massive one in Times Square!

Jamie: Yes, there is! Don’t lie! We can tell them now

Andrew: All right, all right, it’s going to be a massive one in Times Square.

Eric: Actually, you know with Micah on The Today Show, he could hook us up with Times Square. Live from Vegas.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah, there you go.

Jamie: There’s going to be a ten meter wide TV in every state, every country in the world…

Eric: And that way, Melissa Anelli, Melissa and John, they can all gather in Times Square, because they’re not, you know, and they can see us in Vegas having fun with all of our fans.

Jamie: Oooo!

Andrew: I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean, but anyway…

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Yeah, they are going to be there.

Eric: Oh well.


Written by: Micah, Ally, Kathleen, Martina, Rhiannon, Rohail, Roni, and Sarah

Episode 34: The WOMBATs Attack

  • Katie Couric leaves NBC and Micah Tannenbaum stands in
  • Micah gets upset over his score on the WOMBATs
  • WOMBAT discussion
  • OOTP release date is official…what does this mean for HP 7?
  • Listener Rebuttals
  • Our thoughts on Jim Dale versus Stephen Fry
  • Grindelwald’s relation to Hitler and World War II
  • Chapter 8 of Sorcerer’s Stone discussion
  • Meanings behind the flashes of light
  • Potions with Voldemort and Horcruxes
  • The opal necklace revisited
  • Jamie’s British Joke of the Day

Download Now
Running time: 1:16:30, 26.6 MB

Transcript 033

MuggleCast EP33 Transcript


Andrew [Show Intro with music in background]: [screaming] Oh my god, it’s MuggleCast – Episode 33 for April 02nd, 2006! See why GoDaddy.com is the No. 1 domain registrar world-wide. Now with your domain name registration you’ll get hosting, a free blog, complete e-mail and much more. Plus, as a MuggleCast listener enter the code “RON,” that’s R-O-N when you check out and get your dot com domain name for just $6.95 per year. Get your piece of the Internet today at GoDaddy.com.

At USA Network characters are welcome. Even you have what it takes to be a star. Can you believe that? Enter the 2006 “Show Us Your Character Contest” to find out if you’re America’s most unique character and you could win a chance to be featured on the computer screen, the TV screen, and even the big screen! Enter now at ShowUsYourCharacter.com.

Hello, everyone and welcome to MuggleCast 33! I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I’m Ben Schoen.

Eric: I’m Eric Scull.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Greg: And I’m Greg Porter.

Andrew: Wait! Greg Porter?

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Any relation to MuggleNet Greg?

Greg: Maybe!

Andrew: Yes or no? Just yes or no?

Greg: Yeah, the real.

Andrew: Oh John Noe would like to be on this episode. And America’s favorite Brit Jamie Lawrence is also back too. It’s about time Jamie.

Jamie: I know. It’s terrible, isn’t it? It’s a bad effort.

Andrew: Before we go anywhere else, first let’s check in with Micah Tannenbaum for the past week’s top Harry Potter news stories.


Micah: EvannaLynch.net, a fan site for the actress who will be portraying Luna Lovegood in Order of the Phoenix, has debunked recent rumors of Evanna dropping out of the fifth film. Although the rumors suggest her agent made the departure statement, EvannaLynch.net makes a point of reminding visitors that Evanna doesn’t even have an agent. Evanna will be in Order of the Phoenix, due out sometime next year.

Wednesday morning, the Australian show “Sunrise” aired an interview with Dan, Rupert, Emma and Katie on the set of the fifth Harry Potter movie where they talked quite a lot about filming.

And thanks to ExpectoPatronum.com you can see more photos (1, 2, 3) of Hagrid’s hut. I know you’ve been waiting for those. If you weren’t excited enough by the first set, there is now a scarecrow with a pumpkin for a head standing in the vegetable patch. Wow!

As we reported a few weeks ago, Harry Potter was nominated for both favorite book (for the entire series) and favorite movie (for Goblet of Fire) at the 2006 Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards. The series and the movie proved successful, nabbing both the awards.

At Wednesday night’s British Book Awards ceremony in London, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince was named book of the year. The awards are voted on by the public and Rowling beat out autobiographies by the likes of John Peel and Sharon Osbourne.

The fourth Harry Potter DVD has proved enormously successful in the UK where it now holds the title of fastest selling DVD ever. Every second on the day of its release (on March 20th), six copies fell into eager fans’ hands, and three copies per second were sold in the first six days since the movie hit the shelves. To date, 1.4 million copies have been sold, making it the seventh best selling DVD of all time.

Rupert Grint – along with the Phelps twins – were at the “Harry Potter Movie Marathon” in Rome’s Warner Village. The Marathon included screenings of the first three Harry Potter movies, and the actors signed autographs between breaks.

JKR recently painted a ceramic egg and donated it to an auction organized by Make Your Mark in aid of the Multiple Sclerosis Society in Scotland. The egg raised £2600 and a total of almost £30,000 was raised at the event.

Finally, J.K. Rowling has opened the door on her website to give us…a test! Not sure what this all WOMBAT stuff means, but I am sure that we will find out in the upcoming week. Be sure to tune in to MuggleCast next week as the crew will be discussing JKR’s latest surprise.

And before I wrap things up, Emerson and Melissa, I want that toaster back I sent you guys as a wedding gift.

That’s all the news for this April 02nd, 2006 edition of MuggleCast. Back to the show!

Andrew: All right, thank you Micah. [laughing]


Andrew: Now, a couple of quick announcements. The shortest MuggleCast t-shirt ad ever. Buy a MuggleCast t-shirt today!

Jamie: Yes, excellent!

Andrew: Moving on, vote for us on Podcast Alley!

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: I’m not complaining much because we’re in the Top 10 list now.

Jamie: Even shorter, brilliant!

Andrew: Don’t forget. Thank you for all your e-mails. We’re taking your feedback and putting it to good use. And it’s time to put in your RSVPs for Lumos 2006. We will all be…

Ben: E-mail hplive…

Andrew: at…

Ben: hplive at gmail dot com.

Andrew: at gmail dot com. Remember, this doesn’t give you a seat. It merely says that you’re coming. [laughs]

Ben: It let’s us know. It let’s us know some numbers.

Andrew: Yeah. hp live at gmail dot com. It’s really important that everyone tells us if they’re coming or not so we can get a good number.

Ben: And by the way Jamie Lawrence will be there.

Andrew: Yes, he will.

Ben: He will be there.

Andrew: Greg, you coming?

Greg: Hmmm.

Eric: Who?

Greg: Me?

Ben: Yeah, you.

Andrew: Are you coming?

Greg: Oh, I don’t have money.

Andrew: Oh.

Greg: So, no.

Andrew: Ohhh, okay.

Greg: I’m poor.

Ben: Maybe if you concentrated on selling stuff on your website.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: And then changing the layout every other day, you would have money.

Greg: Well, actually I’m going on a rather long vacation this summer that’s going to take up most of my money.

Jamie: A layout camp?

Ben: A layout camp. [laughs]

Greg: Yeah.

Andrew: A layout camp. [laughs] Is that like band camp?

Greg: Yeah.

Andrew: Okay. And… [laughs]

Greg: Well Andrew, you know that book I published?

Andrew: Yes.

Greg: Yeah.

Andrew: Ohhh.

Greg: So…

Andrew: He’s got his own book published.

Ben: Yeah, he does. Buy it, Shadows Like Us by Greg Porter.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Put a link in the Show Notes. That’s a good idea.

Andrew: And XalerStudios.com. Yeah.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: Go back weekly for a brand-new layout. You can see Greg hard at work on that stuff. [laughs]

Listener Rebuttal – All A Dream?

Andrew: Now let’s move on to Listener Rebuttals. We got a lot of good ones this week. This first one comes from Kimberly from Chattanooga, Tennessee. She write on the last MuggleCast you said you cannot think of a TV show where the story had been a dream, and two examples came to mind

One was, in the 1980’s Dallas had an entire season that was a dream that had killed off Bobby Ewing and the actor Patrick Duffy decided to come back to the show. At the end of the season his ex-wife walked into the bathroom and he was in the shower. It had been her dream. That must have been upsetting.

Then also, an example was Newhart. Bob Newhart starred as an innkeeper in Vermont. The town had lots of crazy characters. In the last episode you see Bob in bed and he “waked up.” Whoa, woke up. This girl isn’t good at writing.

Ben: Woked up?

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Andrew: When he roles over his wife from his earlier show, The Bob Newhart Show was in bed with him. The entire series had been a dream. How upsetting.

Ben: Well, okay. Is this about us saying…

Greg: They make fun of that pirate thing on Family Guy.

Ben: Is this about us saying there wasn’t a TV series or movie that ends in a dream?

Andrew: Yeah, like over a ten-year period and then it’s all a dream.

Jamie: That would be a long time dream.

Greg: Weh weh weh wehhh!

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: Weh weh weh wehhh!

Greg: Wow. Yeah, who would run after J.K. Rowling to bring her down?

Eric: Yeah.

Greg: Yeah.

Listener Rebuttal – Mispronunciation

Andrew: Next e-mail. Hi, I have a listener rebuttal to do with Episode 32. You were talking about the pronunciation of [pronounces as ka-noots] “knuts.” I know the Scholastic site says it is [pronounces as ka-noots] “K’nuts.” But when Jo was reading Half-Blood Prince in Edinburgh, she pronounced as “nuts,” no “K.”

I meant to get confirmation on this, but yeah, Jamie what’s your take on it?

Jamie: I think [pronounces as ka-noots] “K’nuts” is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard in my life.

Andrew: [laughs] Me too.

Jamie: I can’t believe after I read… So sorry now, after I listened to the Scholastic. I thought there had been some kind of error. [pronounces as ka-noots] “K’nuts,” it doesn’t sound right at all – “nuts” is clearly it. And Andrew, it’s Edinburgh not “Edinburrr.”

Andrew: Oh, sorry Jamie.

Jamie: Just wanted to point that out.

Ben: It’s Edinburgh.

Jamie: It’s okay. Don’t worry, I completely forgive you.

Andrew: I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

Ben: It’s Edinburgh.

Greg: “Edinbore.”

Andrew: Maybe for some reason Scholastic thinks it should be [pronounces as ka-noots] “K’nuts” and over in England they think it should be “nuts.” [laughs]

Jamie: But nuts, how could you say [pronounces as ka-noots] “K’nuts”? It’s like Galleons…

Andrew: “Ka-noots” sounds better I think.

Jamie: Galleons, Sickles, and [pronounces as ka-noots] “K’nuts.” Oh yeah, that flows really well.

Andrew: Yeah. Good point.

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: “Suh-ickles” and “Guh-alleons.”

Ben: Just like the Scholastic Pronunciation Guide also says, “Rubayus.”

Jamie: I know, I know.

Ben: “Rubayus,” like “Rubayus,” “Rubayus.” “Ka-noots,” “Ka-noots.”

Jamie: The woman is so softly spoken you can barely hear her. She couldn’t actually get more softly spoken.

Greg: I think she’s a machine.

Jamie: Yeah, she is.

Ben: “Rubayus.”

Andrew: All right.

Greg: Yeah, one of those free ones.

Andrew: Well, there you go.

Listener Rebuttal – Audio Comment Music

Andrew: Sorry if I pronounced your names wrong. Zainab, 15 from Milton, Ontario, Canada. Eh, Eh, Andrew. Ay, Andrew?

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: Actually it says, “Hi!” but I was just wondering about the music you play during the audio comments. What is it called. I absolutely adore it for some random reason.

Jamie: This is just to fan Andrew’s ego, this is.

[Andrew laughs]

Andrew: Yes, it is.

Ben: Yeah, that’s all it is.

Andrew: I just wanted to say I added this because we get so many e-mails, believe or not, and I’m not joking. I made it in SoundTrack. It’s one layer of music with three different guitar riffs.

Jamie: Wow. Wow.

Andrew: So, I’ll be releasing it on a CD for $39.99.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Shipping is $30.00 as well.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: $50.00 to ship it to England. So, if you want it, please email andrew at staff dot mugglenet dot com. I’ll be happy to mail you a 20-minute version. [laughs] A 20-minute loop.

Ben: 20-minute version…[laughs] You’ll just loop it over and over.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Jamie: A CD costs one thousand [pronounces it ka-noots] Knuts.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah! There you go!

[Everyone laugh]

Andrew: Put that in the CNN Money Converter[laughs]

Jamie: Or ten Knuts.

Andrew: …and see what happens.

Jamie: One thousand [pronounces it noots] Knuts or ten [pronounces it ka-noots] Knuts, okay? Whichever you prefer.

Listener Rebuttal – Hagrid’s Bad Wizard Comment

Andrew: [laughs] Next one comes from FJ, 22 of North Carolina. “Hi. You guys analyzed Hagrid’s comment that ‘There weren’t a witch or wizard that went bad that wasn’t in Slytherin’ and tried to apply that to the case of Pettigrew. You have to remember, though, that no one knew Pettigrew was alive – not even Dumbledore. Granted, that was a gross over-exaggeration, however it’s not the sort of comment that can be analyzed that way because Hagrid didn’t have all the information on Pettigrew. He’s a ‘special case’ because he faked his own death – rather successfully.”

Jamie: I just assumed that – that comment, “There wasn’t a witch or wizard that went bad that wasn’t in Slytherin,” – I mean obviously, it means that, you know, every single witch or wizard that went bad came from Slytherin. But, does that mean that there have been some good people who have come from Slytherin, or that every single person from Slytherin is bad?

Ben: They can’t all be bad.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: That’d be what we call – [in a British accent] in America, we call it a stereotype.

Jamie: What are you talking about, Ben?

Andrew: Stereotyping!

Ben: Well, if you – if you [laughs] say that everyone goes into Slytherin comes out bad…

Jamie: I’m not stereotyping.

Ben: …that’s a stereotype. It’s like saying every Muslim’s a terrorist.

Jamie: Ben, I’m not stereotyping, I’m generalizing.

[Andrew, Ben and Greg laugh]

Jamie: Get it right, get it right!

Andrew: No generalizing is allowed…

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: …on MuggleCast. That’s one of our rejected slogans, actually.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: “Loads of generalizing is good” – then we thought, no, it doesn’t actually work.

Andrew: None of these book nerds [laughs] will think it’s cool.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: All right.

Jamie: Generalizing is cool.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah!

[Ben, Greg and Jamie laugh]

Andrew: All right, next rebuttal.

Greg: Let’s put that on a t-shirt!

Listener Rebuttal – Mimble-Wimble

Andrew: Okay, last comes from several people. We have found where Eric was trying to find out where on earth Mimble-Wimble came from. It turns out – thanks to quite a few people, who realized – who recalled that it comes from the Chamber of Secrets video game. There’s a spell – is it called Mimble-Wimble, or do they say Mimble-Wimble?

Jamie: The Mimble-Wimble Spell. That sounds terrifying.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: “I’m going to Mimble-Wimble you!”

Greg: We’ll add that with Tinky-Winky and all the rest of the Teletubbies.

Jamie: [laughs] La-La’s going to Mimble-Wimble you!

Andrew: It’s amazing how like, you’ll hear it once, and then it’ll come back to you, but you can’t exactly put your finger on it.

Eric: Greg asks a really cool, good question, which I kind of wanted to talk about too. Does JKR have anything to do with the games? Do the game producers say, “Hey, we want something like Flippendo. We want something to flip something around.” And does she write them or what? What is it?

Ben: That is the most annoying spell ever in creation.

[Eric laughs]

Ben: Especially in the first game. “FLIPPENDO!”

Andrew: Flippendo! You…

Ben: [imitating the video game voice] FLIPPENDO!!!

Andrew: You had to use that spell every single time! It drove me nuts!

Ben: Yeah! [laughs]

Jamie: I hated the games.

Andrew: The games are weak. But you know what?

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: It’s these game developers, who absolutely hate Harry Potter. So, they couldn’t care less! [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: It’s…

Jamie: Yeah, exactly.

Greg: Well, I do know that most authors have no say in their own games.

Jamie: Yeah.

Greg: But J.K. Rowling isn’t most authors, so…

Andrew: Well, it’s WB that’s making these video games happen, so J.K. [mispronounces] Rowling is probably out of the loop.

Ben: JK Rowling!

Andrew: J.K. Rowling! Sorry! I don’t know why I keep saying it that way! But anyway.

Chapter-by-Chapter – Chapters 6 & 7, Sorcerer’s Stone

Andrew: Moving on to the Chapter-by-Chapter discussion, Chapters 6 and 7. We continue to take your feedback and put it to use, and so then this is revision three of Chapter-by-Chapter. [laughs]

Chapter 6 – The Journey From Platform Nine and Three-Quarters

Andrew: So starting off Chapter 6, “The Journey From Platform Nine and [in a British accent] Three-Quarters.”

Ben: Congratulations, Andrew! You got the title right!

[Andrew laughs]

Greg: Excuse me while I open my book and finish this reading.

Andrew: Oh no, you’re done. Your chance is up.

Jamie: Yeah. You’ve missed it. [laughs]

Ben: Here, I’m – I’ll be Jim Dale while we’re waiting for Eric. [in a British accent] “Harry’s last month with the Dursleys was not fun. True, Dudley was now so scared of Harry, he wouldn’t stay in the same room.”

Jamie: Jim Dale – Jim Dale’s American.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah, but…

Ben: I swear he sounds like that, though.

Andrew: He does.

Jamie: No, he doesn’t.

Andrew: Yeah, he definitely does.

Jamie: If you want a real British accent, do Stephen Fry, who did the British ones.

Ben: I’ve never heard him speak before.

Jamie: You…

Andrew: Yes you have! You must’ve.

Ben: I heard him on the little interview with JKR, but I don’t remember what his voice sounds like.

New, Important Characters

Andrew: So, we’re introduced to a lot of new characters this chapter, and a lot of new items, particularly. We’re introduced to Ron, Neville, Fred and George, Ginny, Charlie and Bill, Mrs. Weasley of course, Crabbe and Goyle, we see more Draco – and Quidditch! And we see the – and we also sort of see the crazy side of magic with the Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans and the Chocolate Frogs.

Ben: I have – I have – I have some notes, some of my notes here.

Andrew: Great!

Ben: Page 91 of the UK edition…

Jamie: So, I just think…

Ben: …is where we first hear the…

Jamie: Of the UK edition?

Ben: No, excuse me, the US edition. Sorry.

Jamie: Oh, okay.

Ben: Of…and…

Jamie: Sorry.

Ben: Molly Weasley first here talked. “Packed with Muggles, of course.” And then basically, this is where we first meet the Weasleys.

Greg: Yep.

Ben: And I’d just like to point out how she’s already sort of – like, you get, like, the impression of what – how she is, and how she’s really motherly.

Jamie: That is true. That is very true.

Ben: And I thought that it might be nice to point that out. That’s when we first see her, you know, be motherly. And then the other thing, another personality thing that happens on this pg. is Fred and George. You see they start becoming jokesters. When they mentioned…

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: …”I’m Fred,” yeah. Stuff like that. Well, on pg. 93 of the US edition is something else I noticed. It’s where we get our first description of what Ron looks like. And it says, “he was tall, thin and gangling, with freckles, big hands and feet, and a long nose.” And sometimes I think we all forget that that’s what Ron actually looks like because of the perception of Rupert Grint.

Andrew: Mmmm.

Ben: You know, Rupert Grint’s stocky, has these broad shoulders…

Jamie: Yeah, I agree.

Ben: And he’s not really that much taller than Dan Radcliffe, who plays Harry. So I just – I mean, I wanted to point that out too.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: It doesn’t say anything about his hair though, although judging by the covers, we sort of get the gist of it.

Pompous Percy

Ben: I would like to move to pg. 96. Like – like Andrew said in the very start of the introduction to the segment, that throughout this chapter, we get a nice, a nice perception of all the new characters that we’re going to see. For example, like, I can mention the Weasleys, Hermione, Neville – all of these people. And something important that we learn about Percy, who becomes very important in the future books – this happens on pg. 96 of the US edition – where he says, “Can’t stay long, Mother. I’m up front. The Prefects have got two compartments to themselves.” You know, and I just think it’s the first demonstration we see of him being really pompous…

Jamie: That’s very interesting.

Ben: …and pretty arrogant about the position he holds. And I think that there have been a lot of parallels drawn between him and Tom Riddle, and I think that this basically starts the whole – you know, the whole role into the power-hungry Percy, who is just after – he’s after the highest position he can possibly have.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Do you guys agree with me there? Or… [laughs] You guys have gone silent.

Jamie: No, I think – I think it’s just an interesting point, yeah. And also the way he just says, “I can’t stay long, Mother.” It just seems really, really informal, not because – I mean, sorry. Really, really formal. It doesn’t seem like the kind of way you’d talk to your mother.

Greg: To me, it sounds like he’s trying too hard.

Jamie: Well, I wouldn’t, anyway. I’m a big mommy’s boy.

Greg: Yeah, it sounds like he’s trying too hard to be…

Jamie: Yeah.

Greg: …real nice, and, you know, I’m this perfect kid.

Ben: Yeah, he’s very pompous. That’s what I wrote on my notes.

Jamie: Yes, he is.

Ben: I wrote “Pompous Percy.” [laughs]

Andrew: And then Fred and George try to rip on him and have a little fun, and he goes, “Oh, shut up.”

Greg: Yeah.

Andrew: And that’s really the last we see of him until they arrive at Hogwarts, as we’ll see later in Chapter…

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: …what, 7? End of Chapter 6?

Chocolate And Money

Jamie: Can I go on to…

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Okay. Page 76 of the UK edition…

Andrew: Oh boy. [laughs]

Jamie: Looking at – no, no, no, no.

Andrew: We’ll…

Jamie: I’ll just tell you what happens.

Andrew: Yeah, we’ll just find it.

Jamie: It’s where they buy all the chocolate and stuff…

Andrew: Oh okay.

Jamie: …from the lady with the trolley. Now this is going to sound like I’m really overanalyzing stuff, and I’m sure I am, but that cost him – he got one of everything on that trolley, and there was a lot stuff there. And that cost him roughly £3.19, which is about – I don’t know, $7.00? $6.00? Which seems not very much for how much he bought.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: For all those things. So, I was just wondering, like, I mean – it seems weird that, like, each galleon is worth about £5.00. So about $10.00. And it seems like if you wanted to buy something, like, really, really big, it would seem difficult to pay in normal wizarding money. Like, if you wanted something that cost, I don’t know, £10,000 it would be an awful lot of Galleons that you couldn’t really keep in one vault at Gringotts. I don’t know. I just… I mean…

Ben: That’s true.

Jamie: I don’t know where I’m going with this. I just thought I’d try and mention it. And also…

Andrew: Well, he probably felt like a lot to him, because he’s had so little. It doesn’t say one exactly – well I don’t know if it says in UK actually, but…

Jamie: No, no.

Andrew: …in the US edition it just says some.

Jamie: It just says there is something of everything. But, um, this leads to… like, one more point. I mean, Snape, in Half-Blood Prince, we see, lives in London, yeah? Or he has a house in London where he stays…

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Surely, he can’t, you know, like, stay in London without spending more money, going to Muggle shops and buying stuff. Stuff like that, so it doesn’t say where he gets his cash from, but…

Ben: Well…

Andrew: Well does he?

Ben: Well, there’s probably currency – currency conversion in Gringotts, I’m sure. Just like you would…

Jamie: What’s it worth, though, what’s it worth?

Ben: …go to any bank to get your currency conversion.

Jamie: I mean, how strong is it, the wizarding money?

Ben: Well, I’m sure there’s some, there’s some…

Jamie: I mean like…

Ben: That’s true. I don’t know about that.

Andrew: Well, I mean, would Snape really need it? Like, do the Weasleys need it?

Jamie: I don’t know, I mean… They can’t magic everything though.

Andrew: Or, do…

Jamie: I’m sure Jo’s…

Andrew: It just seems, like…

Jamie: …made it clear, that you can’t conjure anything you need out of thin air. I mean, you have to acquire it, and there has to be some things that you can’t acquire solely on the wizarding world. Like, I mean, if a wizard, I mean, there has to be some really, really in-tune wizards who like plasma TVs, and big, you know, stuff like that. So, they have to buy it. You can’t buy that from Diagon Alley, I don’t think. So, you must have to go to, like, a Panasonic shop or something like that and pay with… Because I’d like that 40-inch…

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: …rear-projection TV and I’ll pay with, I’ll pay with ten thousand Galleons, you know?

Jamie: So, I just wanted to…

[More laughing]

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: Snape walking into a Best Buy< .

Greg: [imitating Snape] I’d like a 20-inch LCD monitor with a…

Jamie: That’s what Snape really wants. Yeah.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: [imitating Snape] I want to visit MuggleNet…

Greg: [imitating Snape] …with twelve speakers.

Jamie: I mean, that was totally over-analyzed, but…

Ben: [imitating Snape] I want to see who’s playing me in the movies.

Andrew: No, but,… Good point.

Ben: Well… Something, something…

Andrew: Whose to say he doesn’t have a house-elf, or some other way of acquiring…. Like, I can’t picture Snape going among the Muggles, it just doesn’t seem right, and I would imagine that he doesn’t like Muggles.

Jamie: No, no, no, I agree, I agree. But, there has to be some way of buying stuff from the Muggle world or…

Greg: eBay?

Jamie: …or just like, conversing with Muggles. What?

Andrew: eBay! [laughs]

Jamie: eBay dot wizard?

Andrew: Yes, exactly. [still laughing]

Ben: I was thinking that.

Greg: I’ve always wondered what the Wizard Wireless Network is, because it’s not really described that well.

Jamie: Yeah, didn’t she say that wizards have some way of communicating with people that’s much, much…

Ben: Better than that.

Jamie: …than the Internet. Yeah.

Greg: Yeah, the Wizard Wireless Network.

Andrew: She probably has to think it up first before she actually…

Ben: I don’t know if it’s that.

Greg: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: She can say anything, but, you know, you got to explain it.

The Killing Curse And Green Light

Ben: Something that I notice on pg. 99 of the US edition, is throughout the entire series, there’s always this… they always draw a parallel between the Killing Curse and a green light, and Harry describes it… Whenever Ron asks him what he remembers, he says, “I remember a lot of green light, but nothing else.” And I thought it was interesting to point out that the Killing Curse is always associated with green light, and I never quite understood why. And, coincidentally, green is also one of the house colors of Slytherin.

Andrew: Hmmm.

Jamie: Yeah… But it could be like – I mean, could you say that – I mean – if you’re killed by Avada Kedavra, you can’t remember anything, obviously, because you’re dead. But, Harry sort of came back from a near-life experience. I mean, could you liken it to, like, drowning, and then being brought back to life by, you know, the paramedics? And, people who have had that say that they’ve gone down a tunnel, you know, and they see all the experiences of their life. You can sort of, half-liken that to the green light. You know, so like… I don’t know if Harry sees anything, but…

Ben: No, no, no, I’m under the impression that the Killing Curse actually…

Jamie: Oh, yeah, yeah.

Ben: …shoots green light out of the wand.

Andrew: Yeah, we see that in Goblet of Fire, don’t we?

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah, at the end with Voldemort’s… Voldemort’s wand?

Jamie: What type of green is it?

Andrew: But, I mean, think about…

Jamie: Is it like a dark, dull green, or is it like neon green?

Andrew: Uh, neon?

Jamie: With specks of white and flowing white spots?

Andrew: Nah, I think it’s like neon.

Jamie: Sorry.

Andrew: I don’t know, but just, like, think about it as symbolism.

Jamie: A lot of sic.

Andrew: What do you think when you see green? Well, money, for some people, but…

Jamie: Jealousy. Jealousy.

Andrew: …red is more…

Jamie: Green’s jealousy.

Andrew: Yeah.

Chocolate Frog Cards

Ben: Okay, moving on to pg. 102, something else that I’ve…

Andrew: Skipping all over the place. We’re still on the train ride.

Ben: Well, it’s moving forward. We’re moving forward at least. Okay, pg. 102…

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: …is where we first see the Chocolate Frog cards. And, this
may not seem that significant, but in Order of the Phoenix, Dumbledore
mentions that, “Let them do anything, but just don’t take me off the
Chocolate Frog cards.” And here, Ron says, “Chocolate Frogs have cards inside
them, you know, to collect famous witches and wizards.” And he tells how
he has five hundred himself. And, what do you think the significance of being
on the Chocolate Frog card is, and how do you actually earn the position to be
on a Chocolate Frog card? What do you guys think?

Greg: Isn’t it just – yeah, famous wizards?

Jamie: Isn’t it just, like, being famous? Sorry. It’s just
like… you know. But, when, I mean, we can bring this back to when… I
can’t remember, I think it was Bill, said that Dumbledore didn’t mind what they
did to him, as long as they didn’t take him off the Chocolate Frog cards.
Everyone thought that was a joke, but then, I read that it could be because it’s a
way of communicating with people.

Andrew: Yeah, didn’t we discuss a theory on that or something?

Jamie: Yeah, but I’m not too sure about that. I think we did, but
I don’t know, I think it’s just that he likes being on the Chocolate Frog
cards. You know, it’s a kind of recognition of him, I think, because
Merlin’s on there, you know, famous wizards.

Greg: It’s a big thing to be on there.


Ben: Yeah, but, we have to move on here since we sort of covered
that. On pg. 102 to 103, is where they actually look at a Chocolate Frog card
of Dumbledore, and it says that he’s particularly famous for his defeat of the
dark wizard Grindelwald in 1945. I think we might have talked about
Grindelwald before…

Jamie: We shouldn’t get into this. We’ll be on this for

Ben: But, do you think it’s any coincidence that it happened in

Jamie: World War II – yeah.

Ben: …and that’s when the end of World War II was. I think J.K.
Rowling got asked a question, weather sometimes the wizarding wars coincide
with the Muggle wars, and I think she said they do, to an extent. So…

Andrew: I think so. I mean, at the beginning of Half-Blood

Jamie: Oh yeah, yeah.

Andrew: …what was everyone thinking about?

Greg: Well, war.

Andrew: [laughs] No, I don’t know, it just brought back to
me, it felt like, I know, I’m sure this isn’t true – I just think J.K.
Rowling was sort of, almost making a political statement. Because, the only thing I
could think about was the whole war thing going on right now.

Greg: Yeah.

Andrew: And this book just happens to come out, and the first
chapter or so is covering the war, it’s… I… You make a good point.

Jamie: Who could Grindelwald be, though?

Ben: Hitler.

Jamie: Because, I mean, it’s been, like, visited in the past that, you know, the Nazis have some kind of magic
element. Like in Indian Jones and the Last Crusade, you know, Indiana Jones and the other one.

Ben: Lost Ark?

Jamie: What’s the other one?

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: Not the Temple of Doom. Yeah, yeah, Ark of the
one. So, I don’t know if that’s, you know, it’s kind of going
down that route, or it’s just, like, Grindelwald was a Nazi sympathizer and it
was like that. I mean, and, he isn’t automatically on the German side. It’s just

Ben: Why else would Dumbledore defeat him?

Jamie: …that seems like some kind of a conclusion. Yeah. Well,
the Germans weren’t the only, Axis powers in World Ward II.

Ben: Yeah. Oh, and, another thing that I’d like to bring up about
Grindelwald. It says that he has been defeated, but does that truly mean, yes,
does that truly mean he’s gone?

Jamie: But not killed, yeah.

Ben: Because, take for example, Voldemort. Everyone said that he
was defeated by Harry Potter, but does that mean that Grindelwald is gone?
Voldemort came back, so is it possible for Grindelwald to experience the same

Jamie: I read an extremely interesting theory once that Grindelwald
was really the big Dark Lord, and that, you know, Voldemort was just one
other person, but I don’t know if that’s true and that could – that seems a little far-fetched since, you know, she’s only got one more book.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: And it would be hard to explain all that and – but I don’t know. I mean, I think it’s just pure speculation.

Andrew: I mean, would we want to see this guy coming back? Like Ben – you were just asking.

Ben: Yeah. I think – I think it would – I think it would cause too much trouble because think about all the loose ends she already has to tie up now…

Greg: Yeah.

Andrew: Yep.

Ben: …and how much that would add to it…

Jamie: Yeah. And also…

Ben: …and how big of a problem it would cause.

Greg: Mhm.

Jamie: But it, it could be that Voldemort is only scared of Dumbledore because he defeated Grindelwald, maybe?

Ben: And for all we know, defeated…

Jamie: Or something like that? Yeah.

Ben: didn’t mean… A lot of people think that Harry actually defeated Voldemort as in like he killed him. And that was a lot of the perception, but then there was always the skeptics who thought, “Oh, that’s not true.”

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: But, I think we need to move on before we’re on this forever.

Andrew: Well, hold on. I mean, let me just say one more thing.

Greg: Can I…

Andrew: There’s – if Dumbledore is being recognized for defeating this guy, and according to this chocolate card, it’s a dark wizard, he must be a huge dark wizard.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: I don’t think we’ve mentioned this.

Ben: Yeah, but you don’t hear him being as talked about as much as Voldemort.

Andrew: No. Maybe he’s more unspeakable.

Jamie: Because he’s being…

Andrew: Or they just don’t want to because of something that happened.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: It would be like us being afraid of saying Hitler’s name because he might come back. That type of thing.

Andrew: Yeah, yeah.

Ben: But then again, we know there’s no way to resurrect the dead but then we have to watch…

Greg: But even so, Hitler’s not something that comes up in conversation very often in school or anything – it would only come up in school, I mean. So it’s not something you’d just go to your friends and talk about like, “Hey, Hitler!”

Ben: Yeah.

Greg: So maybe Grindelwald is just the same way – it’s just long gone. Nobody really thinks about it much anymore.

Ben: That’s true.

Jamie: I don’t know.

Ben: Because it would have to be the people’s grandparents. The students at Hogwarts, their grandparents who were dealing with Hitler.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: I mean not Hitler, but Grindelwald.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: Not their parents like it is now because the aura still lingers.


Ben: Page 105 is where we get our description of Hermione and here it says, “She had a bossy sort of voice, lots of bushy brown hair, and rather large front teeth.” And what I’d like to bring up here is that this sort of gives us the whole perception of Hermione from the start of the series.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: And you see her – you see her going around bossing everybody around sort of telling Ron, “That’s not a real spell,” that type of stuff. And I think that it shows us how uptight she was at the beginning and then as the series progresses, we see how she starts to loosen up, and I’m sure we get in that later on in other chapters and in future books, but I just think it’s interesting to point out how uptight she is at the start of the series. And how she – you know, “I memorized all the coursework front to back,” and all that stuff.

Jamie: Yeah


Jamie: Can I go somewhere for a minute as well? I was going to say that after Ron tries the spell on Scabbers, he says afterwards that George gave him the spell – or was it Fred? And that he knew it was a dud, but the reason, well, I know – the reason the spell didn’t work was because Scabbers wasn’t a rat? I read that somewhere. And I think that – that could explain it. Because you know, it was a spell to turn a rat yellow and everyone thinks it didn’t work because it wasn’t a proper spell, but it could be that it didn’t work because Scabbers wasn’t actually a rat.

Ben: Oh and another thing that I think we have to pay attention to as we’re reading – something that may become an important part of the future books – is when J.K. Rowling suddenly makes it clear that Scabbers is in the room or that Scabbers is somewhere nearby and so any conversation they’ve had – they have – is actually being overheard by Peter Pettigrew, which could become significant in the future.

Jamie: Yeah, definitely. That’s brilliant.

Ben: So, I think it’s important for us to remember.

Jamie: Yeah. I agree.

Ben: Oh geez, Scabbers is listening to this. This could be very valuable to Voldemort’s cause.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: Well, he’s certainly going to remember these things.

Jamie: He was lying in waiting so he had to get information.

Ben: See, Peter Pettigrew is sort of like – sort of like Slughorn except in a different type of way. You know how Slughorn wants to associate himself with the rich and the famous. Pettigrew is the same exact way, where he wants to be involved with powerful people…

Jamie: With the powerful…

Ben: …like Voldemort or whoever can offer him the best. And he’s very selfish it’s about what – what’s in it for him and how he can achieve that in the quickest manner possible.

Andrew: But…

Jamie: I’ve got two points.

Andrew: Well, I just…

Jamie: Sorry. Go on, sorry.

Other Characters Introduced

Andrew: I just want to say that, Ben, you were saying Hermione’s developed. A lot of characters are developed and we can get the gist of what they’ll be like throughout the entire series although we don’t know it. I mean, Ron, already he’s looking – he’s looking kind of unsure of himself. Neville – he loses his rat already so we already know that he’s forgetful. Fred and George – we see them joke around. Ginny – we don’t really see much, but she has an interest in Harry a little bit, [laughs] just wanting to know him.

Ben: Yeah she says, “Can I go see him, can I go see him?”

Andrew: Yeah. Draco’s a jerk we already know that. Crabbe and Goyle – although we’re not up to that point yet we see that they’re right up Draco’s butt.

Jamie: There’s some interesting stuff about, Draco.

Andrew: Yeah. So many characters are developed in just this one chapter and by Chapter 7 – Book 7, we’ll be looking back at this book and saying, “Why didn’t I notice that?” Yeah.

Jamie: Wow.

Ben: Yeah

Jamie: Yeah. The stuff about Malfoy though…

Andrew: Yeah, let’s keep moving.

Jamie: On the train…

Andrew: Let’s get to there.

Harry And Malfoy

Jamie: I, I had a kind of, what if question. What if Harry had taken his hand – Malfoy’s hand and shook his hand? What, what would the… I mean, do you think the entire series would be different or do you think he’d still have realized that he didn’t like him and that…

Andrew: Well that…

Jamie: …the handshake really wouldn’t have meant anything? And from… Sorry.

Andrew: No, finish. Go ahead.

Jamie: Oh okay. And from there after he doesn’t shake his hand he starts off by saying stuff about that if Harry isn’t careful he’ll go the same way as his parents. Now that just sounds like sort of an idle threat, you know, that – that because he’s annoyed that he didn’t shake his hand, he doesn’t want to be friends with him. But, if you read into that it’s actually quite interesting. It’s stuff about that they didn’t know what was good for them and stuff like that and I’ve – I mean, I only re-read this about two hours ago, so I’m still trying to like, see if that relates to any episodes in the chronology, but I haven’t gotten anything yet.

Andrew: Well I think the handshake – if Harry would’ve shaken Draco’s hand, that whole scene would’ve been different. But, I think by the time they got to the school and he had learned more about Draco, he would’ve wished he took that back. So…

Jamie: Yeah, he’d be the same. Yeah.

Andrew: It wouldn’t have been long term.

Jamie: No yeah, I agree on that. But I’ve got the paragraph now and it says, “‘I’d be careful if I were you, Potter,’ he said slowly. ‘Unless you’re a bit politer you’ll go the same way as your parents. They didn’t know what was good for them, either.'”

Andrew: Page 109, US edition.

Jamie: “‘You hang around with riff-raff like the Weasleys and that Hagrid, and it’ll rub off on you.'” It’s just like, “‘They didn’t know what was good for them, either.'” I don’t know.

Ben: Yeah, it’s kind of…

[Andrew sighs]

Jamie: I can’t think of what that relates to, but I think there’s more to it than meets the eye.

Why did Hermione Want To Be In Gryffindor?

Ben: Okay, and I hate to move, move back…

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: …because we’re progressing forward, but on pg. 106…

Andrew: Oh god.

Ben: Hermione – Hermione comes into the train car and she says, “‘Do either of you know what house you’ll be in? I’ve been asking around, and I hope I’m in Gryffindor.” Okay, we talked about this on the Hermione show where we analyzed Hermione, but why do you think that she wanted to be in Gryffindor? Just because it’s the house Dumbledore was in? Or why don’t you think she was in Ravenclaw? Do you think there’s something in the future that Hermione is going to display that proves to us that she really does belong in Gryffindor? Some type of courage? Courageous act?

Andrew: Well, I think Hermione…

Jamie: Uhhh, yeah.

Andrew: I think Hermione has already been courageous – not in the sense of a true Gryffindor but…

Jamie: Yeah, definitely.

Andrew: …she’s helped Harry try to defeat Voldemort, which not every kid in that school would particularly want to get involved with because they could very well be harmed, too.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: Yeah, I guess you’re right.

Andrew: So… I…

Jamie: She hasn’t proven herself totally yet though.

Andrew: Right, yeah.

Jamie: Because, I think it’s in Book 5, after she does a Protean thingamabob Charm on the gold Galleons – so that when Harry changes his, everyone else’s change as well, was it Terry Boot who says, who asks why she wasn’t in Ravenclaw because the charm is N.E.W.T. standard? She says that she doesn’t know and I think that can be a kind, you know, of marker to show that she’s going to have to do something extremely courageous and brave to prove she should have been in Gryffindor. Maybe like sacrificing herself to save Harry?

Ben: It’s true.

Jamie: Oh my god, bad to think about.

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: I don’t know, could be it.

Scabbers Chows Down

Ben: Okay, moving on here to pg. 109 where we see Scabbers again in this scene and here he says – here Jo writes, “Scabbers the rat was hanging off his finger, sharp little teeth sunk in deep into Goyle’s knuckle.” This is when Goyle reaches for the candy and tries to steal it from Harry and Ron, but there’s something I’d like to point out here. Is that, when you think about it, when you finally realize that that all along was Peter Pettigrew, and how he sort of had a low self-esteem, and how he was sort of picked on in school too – that you would assume – and maybe it was him sort of, you know, stepping up for the little guys for once.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Before…

Jamie: Hmmm.

Ben: I don’t know. I found that interesting. I don’t know about…

Greg: Well, You have to wonder how Lucius Malfoy would have treated him in school.

Jamie: Yeah, definitely.

Ben: I think that – doesn’t that about conclude Chapter 6?

Jamie: I’ve got one last thing to point out quick.

Andrew: God, yeah. I didn’t even feel like we were making much progress. [laughs] Go ahead, Jamie.


Jamie: Why is it only the first years that go by boat and why do they need to go by boat? Why can’t they just have a few more Thestrals?

Ben: Maybe it’s sort of an initiation-type thing? Not really an initiation but orientation, you know, freshman orientation like they have at some high schools.

Jamie: I don’t know, though.

Ben: Where as, when they go across in the boat, they can see the castle and get the real experience.

Andrew: Right. And they’re moving slow. They can get a nice long look of the school and where they are going to be for the next seven years.

Jamie: I’d rather go up in the horse – you know, invisible horse-drawn carriages because across the lake they can fall in as Dennis Creevey did. They can bump their heads as when Hagrid said, “Mind your heads,” and, you know – I don‘t know. Well, perhaps it’s just…

Andrew: Well you’ve got to keep them scared.

Jamie: Yeah. Treat them mean. Like just…

Andrew: Well, yeah. I think boats are just a great way of – Jo really – now that I think about it, now that we’re all thinking about it, I just think that was a great way to introduce the kids. It’s slow.

Jamie: That’s true, yeah.

Andrew: It’s starting them off slow and they get a nice long look because when you’re nervous, you don’t want to be rushed into that school. At least they have time, I mean, who knows how long that boat ride takes, probably five, ten minutes.

Jamie: But…

Andrew: So…

Jamie: But weren’t the people who came from wizarding families, who were used to you know, magic and all that kind of stuff, their parents must have told them stories of Hogwarts, so I just don’t think they we as nervous as Harry obviously. But I would have liked to see inside the mind of other people as well just to see how they were feeling there.

Chapter 7 – The Sorting Hat

Ben: Okay, this chapter opens with the Sorting Hat – the sorting ceremony that we hear about every year.

Jamie: Yeah.

Greg: Almost every year.

The House Ghosts And Peeves

Ben: And this is where – something I like about the beginning of the chapter…

Jamie: Ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo!

Ben: …is that we get introduced to the ghosts. Yeah, please.

Jamie: Ok, sorry, thank you. First of all, on pg. 83 of the UK edition, I was wondering what had Peeves done wrong that made all of the ghosts talk about, you know, getting rid of him? Because…

Andrew: Were they…

Ben: It’s probably the same usual stuff that he does.

Jamie: Yeah exactly. That’s what I thought.

Andrew: Yeah. Are the referencing a specific…

Jamie: But also…

Andrew: …event, or…

Jamie: …what powers do ghosts have? If they say we want to get rid of Peeves and Dumbledore doesn’t want to get rid of Peeves, I would have thought Dumbledore has more power then them, but I don‘t know.

Ben: Well, the Bloody Baron has the ultimate power.

Jamie: No, no…

Ben: Doesn’t he? Over Peeves?

Jamie: He doesn’t have ultimate power, he has personal power, you know? He can make him do things, but I don’t know if he can banish him.

Ben: Remember – but Peeves has to hold some significance to the castle…

Jamie: Yeah, has him there. I agree.

Ben: …since Dumbledore has yet to banish him.

Jamie: I think there is more to him that meets the eye. But – going on from there – how do ghosts become House ghosts?

Ben: Well I’m – it’s sort of, probably the same way someone becomes the Head of House, wouldn’t you think? There is probably some requirements like you had to be a member of the House during your day, but…

Jamie: You have to be dead as well. [laughs]

Ben: Right.

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: You have to be dead and…

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: …you have to be a ghost. The thing is, is how – do they ever change House ghosts? Or do they…

Andrew: Yeah, that’s what I was going to say.

Ben: …or do they keep the same House ghosts for all time?

Andrew: Maybe there isn’t any rules at all. Just four of them. Yeah

Ben: Did they happen to die around the same time they all became ghosts and that was it?

Jamie: Yeah, Greg raises an interesting point that Peeves isn’t even a ghost; he’s a poltergeist. I don’t know if that just means poltergeists intrinsically evil or they’re just naughty, but it is interesting to see that Peeves is sort of generally all naughty, but the other ghosts are generally logical, rational, and good. But…

Andrew: I see Peeves sort of as a young ghost. He has got so much energy in him.

Jamie: Yeah, he does, definitely.

Andrew: He’s like the kid who died young and they felt bad for them so they were like…

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: “You can stay around for a few more hundred years.”

Ben: And another thing – another thing about Nick is, what did he do to get chopped in the head with an axe for 500 times or whatever?

Jamie: I don’t know. Should we – ooo, ooo, ooo! Can I go?

The Sorting Hat Song

Andrew: All right, so moving along to the…

Jamie: To Sorting Hat song I was going to say about three-quarters of the way down.

Andrew: Oh, you’re really jumping ahead.

Jamie: Yeah, I know but we…

Ben: That’s fine.

Jamie: I can wait if you want, but I was going to say…

Andrew: No, there isn’t much else happening here really.

Jamie: About three-quarters of the way down it says, “There’s nothing hidden in your head the Sorting Hat can’t see.” So, could it be…

Greg: That’s creepy.

Jamie: …a rudimentary form of Veritaserum? Like, if you put it on your head – no – if you put it on Barty Crouch’s head, would it tell you everything? Like, is it just like an interface that shows you what the person’s thinking? Can it act like that?

Greg: Well, couldn’t it be similar to Legilimens…

Jamie: Sorry, what was that?

Greg: Or Occlumency rather?

Jamie: Yeah, that’s interesting. So… Yeah, but if you ask a question, they can’t help but think about what you’ve asked, you know, they can’t just block it all out. So, I mean, you could ask somebody a question and the Sorting Hat could just suck out what he was thinking at the time. I mean, I don’t know, it was just an idea.

Ben: Maybe there’s a pact of confidentiality. Maybe the spell the Sorting Hat has on it doesn’t allow it to divulge that information.

Jamie: Did the Sorting Hat sign the Official Secrets Act?

Ben: No, just when the Founders put the spell on there, maybe they – when they enchanted it, maybe they made it so it won’t be able to divulge information.

The Ceremony

Andrew: Okay, so moving on to the Sorting Hat ceremony. So, you know, we see a few people. Susan Bones gets Hufflepuff. Terry Boot gets Ravenclaw. Good old Millicent Bulstrode becomes Slytherin. Then we get up to Hermione and she gets in Gryffindor, all right. Neville gets into Gryffindor. Malfoy gets into Slytherin. Then we get to Harry Potter and, last thing Harry sees is the hat – [laughs] – the last thing Harry saw before the hat jumped over his eyes was the hall full of people craning to get a good look at this guy. And then the Sorting Hat starts to figure out which House he belongs in. And he doesn’t say – he doesn’t make up his decision, but then Harry starts getting worried because he’s really pondering over this and then Harry starts going, “Not Slytherin, not Slytherin.” Your first impression is, Harry says, “Not Slytherin” and then the Sorting Hat says, “Not Slytherin, all right cool. You’re in Gryffindor.”

Jamie: Quoting Eric…

Andrew: Why? Was this decision based off of just what Harry said? Or was the Sorting Hat just trying to mess with him?

Jamie: Well..

Ben: As Dumbledore has said several time throughout the series, it’s not – it’s not something that makes us who we are, it’s our choices.

Andrew: I wish we had more time to cover this but…

Jamie: But…

Andrew: …we don’t right now. This is a good main discussion.

Ben: Jamie, do you have something to add finally though?

Jamie: I was just going to say that there are loads of online people who are – nice people, really, really nice people – who would like to be in Slytherin. But on that, obviously in comparison, these are people in the real world.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: You know, who base it off the book, but there are people like that. I mean, I think, I think it would be interesting to be in Slytherin.

Harry’s Pain From Quirrell

Andrew: Okay, so then, later during the feast, Harry gets a sharp pain from Quirrell, which is another major foreshadowing. I mean, just by reading the first few chapters, you get the gist of the whole book [laughs] and half of the series.

Ben: And the final thing I think we need to mention about this chapter is the ending.

Andrew: Yes.

Ben: Right, Andrew?

Andrew: Harry goes to bed and he gets a dream where Professor Quirrell is in it – he’s wearing Professor Quirrell’s turban and then, Quirrell transforms into Malfoy.

Jamie: Yeah, that could be it.

Andrew: And we see that green light again. So, what is this – this is the beginning of Harry’s pain throughout the books.

Ben: The thing is foreshadowing, truly.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Because when I very first, when I first read the series, you know, I sort of breezed over that, but then when I came back through for a second time, and you re-read that part, you think, “Oh geez, this is heavy foreshadowing to what’s going to happen at the end.”

Jamie: Yeah that would be a big thing, where he…

Ben: Where he talks about the turban, saying that it’s his destiny and all these things and how – another thing is, that was significant about the turban is Lord Voldemort’s underneath there. [laughs]

Andrew: All right, so that wraps up this week’s Chapter by Chapter discussion, as we keep repeating, we are still tweaking it, and we decided [laughs] that we are going to start doing one chapter a week. Two if there’s not a lot in them, but especially now that there’s a ton of stuff we keep wanting to talk about.

Voicemail – James Potter: Head Boy Or Bad Boy?

Andrew: So now, moving on to the general voicemail questions. We got a few of them for you this week. First, let’s take you to Isaac from Los Angeles.

[Audio]: Hey, this is Isaac from LA and, it says in the first book and you mentioned it in MuggleCast 32, that Harry’s father was Head Boy. How in the world is this possible if he got detention, like, every other week with Sirius? Thanks, bye.

Andrew: Well, there’s no requirement that, to be Head Boy, you can’t get any detentions, right? And even then, you have enough time.

Ben: It’s true, yeah.

Andrew: Next voicemail. [laughs]

Jamie: And also, Head–[laughs] But also, Head Boy isn’t only about, you know, behaving well…

Greg: Yeah.

Jamie: …in terms of, you know, keeping within school rules. There’s nothing to say that schools aren’t wrong quite a lot of the time, so you also need a strong character that isn’t prepared to do the right – sorry, that is always prepared to do the right thing, who is prepared to stand up for people, and all that kind of thing. So, it’s all about the sort of, you know, that kind of thing…

Andrew: Right.

Jamie: …for Head Boy, I think…there’s nothing about detentions.

Greg: Yeah.

Voicemail – Aunt Marge

Andrew: All right, so let’s move on to our next voicemail: Morgan from Arizona.

Audio: Hi, this is Morgan from Scottsdale, Arizona and I was wondering, in Book 1 when Mrs. Figg broke her leg, Uncle Vernon said, “Why don’t we phone Marge?” And Petunia said, “Don’t be silly, Vernon, she hates the boy.” That implies that she’s near enough for her to come over and baby-sit Harry, but in the third book she’s far away enough to have to stay over at their house for a few days to have dinner. Does that mean she moved, or is this just a mistake? Thanks, bye! Love the show!

Jamie: People stay over for all sorts of reasons, though. She could have had too much to drink or something like that. So…

Andrew: I – wait a second – I don’t think that implies that she’s near enough for her to come over and baby-sit Harry.

Jamie: Right, I just means…

Andrew: Basically, she could be on the way towards the zoo. So, if the zoo is like forty-five minutes away and Marge is forty minutes away and just up the highway from the zoo, they could just quick drop off Harry at Marge’s real quick. Great question though.

Voicemail – Muggles And The Magical World

Andrew: Next one comes from Eric of Los Angeles.

Audio: Hey MuggleCast, this is Eric from Los Angeles. I’m one of your old listeners – I’m an oldie. I’m actually listening to the audio books while I’m listening to the show as you’re going through the chapters. I think it’s great. But, I have a comment about the secrecy of the world. Because, how many kids have Muggle parents and they’re are going to Hogwarts, so those parents have got to know and do they tell their, you know, friends and family? “Oh yeah, my kid is going to Hogwarts.” Or, is there some kind of secrecy agreement that they have to sign from Hogwarts? Like, how do they keep those people away from knowing about that particular world? Because, how many of the kids at Hogwarts has Muggle parents? But anyway, great show, I love listening to your show! Keep up the good work! Talk to you soon, bye!

Andrew: No reason for an agreement. We’ve already read that – or we’ve already discussed – I can’t remember which one it is [laughs], that there is some knowledge out there. The knowledge being some Muggles do know that wizards and witches exist just through family, through direct family members being wizards, etc., etc.

Jamie’s British Jokes Of The Day

Andrew: Okay, so keeping it moving along here, next up is Jamie’s British Joke of the Day. Jamie, it’s been so long. I hope your joke keeps me in tears.

Jamie: The first one, and I have somebody from the forums – the fan forums – to thank for this. It is, RM with a smiley face after their name. I don’t know how you can pronounce that, but yeah, RM with a smiley face. And it was, why did the farmer win a Nobel Prize? Because he was outstanding in his field.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: And the other one I got…

Andrew: Well, hold on, wait a second. What’s the – well no, go ahead, just do it now.

Jamie: Sorry? Well, okay it was going to be – I dreamt last night that I had written Lord of the Rings

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: …but when I woke up, I realized I was just Tolkien in my sleep.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: I’ve heard that before.

Andrew: Yeah, that’s a good one.

Jamie: Okay, I’m done. Thank you.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Well, that’s a good one. Thank you, Jamie.

Heart-Warming Story Of The Week

Andrew: Now, it’s time for the MuggleCast Heart-Warming Story of the Week. This comes from Angela Garner, 30, of Stockport, England. Have your tissues at the ready, ladies and gentlemen. Angela writes: “Hi, just thought I’d drop you a line. I am currently off work now and expecting my first baby and I now have plenty of time to listen to your Podcast episodes. I have just been listening to Episode 30 and it’s funny in the fact that my baby has really been active while listening to you all! It’s like he/she (don’t know the sex of the baby, yet) has their own opinions on Harry Potter and was more active more times than others. I will keep monitoring movement while listening to you all, and maybe when baby arrives, you might serve as being able to soothe the baby when it gets grumpy!!! Keep up the good work. Love, Angela & Bump.” And now, MuggleCast is officially…

Ben: The pacifier! MugglePacif – MuggleCast Pacifier.

Andrew: Yeah, MuggleCast is officially a certified…

Ben: Pacifier.

Show Close

Andrew [Show Close with music in background]: …baby soother, yeah. [laughs] MuggleCast: we soothe babies. So…

Ben: Name your baby “Ben.” Name your baby “Carl Benjamin.”

Andrew: So thank you, Angela, from Stockport, England for your story and best of luck with your child in the next twelve weeks. That does wrap up MuggleCast 33. We thank everyone for listening. So, next week – next week we will be talking about Chapter 8 of Sorcerer’s Stone. So, that does it for us, once again I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I am Ben Schoen.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Greg: I’m Greg.

Andrew: I’m Greg Porter from…

Greg: I’m Greg Porter, go to my website! Ben Schoen!

Andrew: Xalerstudios.com and wrote some crazy book that I hear is at – now available at your local library. We will see everyone next week for MuggleCast Episode 34. Goodnight, everyone.

Greg: Bye!

Andrew: And, for two weeks only, there’s a character in all of us and now you can share your unique character with the world at showusyourcharacter.com. Join now and begin uploading your videos, photos, and profile. You can share a hidden talent, show off your celebrity impersonation, or give the Show Us Your Character community a glimpse into your life. Chat and interact with thousands of other members and get to know some of the characters of the United States. You’ve got what it takes to be a star. Enter the 2006 Show Us Your Character Contest to find out if you’re America’s most unique character and you can win a chance to be featured on the computer screen, the TV screen, and even the big screen. Enter now at showusyourcharacter.com


[Music begins]

[Audio]: Hey MuggleCast, my name is Katie and I’m from outside of Atlanta. But I’m in Savannah now and I listened to MuggleCast all the way here. And it helps me keep my mind off of getting car sick. Thank you so much!

[Audio]: Hi MuggleCast, this is Michelle. I just want to say I love you guys and I just – I’m sitting at lunch at school and I just decided to call you because you’re my favorites! Yay, thanks for being so great! Bye!

[Audio]: Hi, this is Casey from Ontario, Canada and I just want to say MuggleCast rocks and Andrew’s my idol. Woo-hoo!

[Audio]: Hey, it’s Amanda from New Jersey. I just want to say I love MuggleCast, my favorite Podcast ever. Okay, thanks, bye!

[Music ends]


Written by: Micah, Ally, Martina, Rhiannon, Roni, and Sarah

Episode 33: We Soothe Babies

  • The real MuggleNet Greg guest-hosts
  • Listener Rebuttals
  • Chapters 6 and 7 are discussed
  • Why is the Killing Curse green?
  • Why does Dumbledore want to be on the Chocolate Frogs?
  • Is Grindelwald gone? And why doesn’t anyone talk about him?
  • Scabbers wasn’t a real rat
  • What if Harry had shaken Malfoy’s hand?
  • Why did Hermione want to be in Gryffindor?
  • Voicemails
  • British joke of the day
  • Soothin’ babies

Download Now
Running time: 52:32, 18.4 MB

Transcript 032

MuggleCast EP32 Transcript


Andrew [Show Intro with music in background]: Heart-stoppin’, house-rockin’, booty-shakin’, delusional fan-takin’ MuggleCast 32 for March 26th 2006. See whyGoDaddy.com is the No. 1 domain registrar world-wide. Now with your domain name registration you’ll get hosting, a free blog, complete e-mail and much more. Plus, as a MuggleCast listener enter the code “RON,” that’s R-O-N when you check out and get your dot com domain name for just $6.95 per year. Get your piece of the Internet today at GoDaddy.com.

Ben: Hey everybody! Welcome to MuggleCast – Episode 32 – coming to you live from Moundridge, Kansas. I’m Ben Schoen.

Andrew: Sims, Andrew.

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] I’m Kevin Steck.

Eric: [impersonating Jamie] I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Andrew: [impersonating Laura] I’m Laura Thompson.

Eric: I’m Eric Scull.

Ben: [impersonating Micah] And I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

We have a full house here this week, people.

Andrew: We do.

Ben: We have Eric, Andrew, Kevin, Jamie, Laura. Geez.

Andrew: [impersonating Laura] Yeah, this is great. I love this.

Eric: [impersonating Jamie] Can somebody post the schedule? Can somebody post the schedule?

Andrew: [impersonating Laura] No, why do you keep asking?

Eric: [impersonating Jamie] I want the schedule.

Ben: Okay, Jamie. I gave you the schedule three minutes ago.

Eric: [impersonating Jamie] Go into the Writely. Dude, go into the Writely and get the schedule.

Ben: [impersonating Micah] Hey Ben, I forgot to do the News this week. What are we going to do about that?

Andrew: Micah, can you stop asking questions?

Ben: Micah! Andrew, what are we going to do about him?

Andrew: I don’t know. Laura?

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] Hey, don’t be so mean to Micah! Micah is a good person. I am backwards compatible with Windows 3.1.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: [impersonating Laura] No you’re not. You’ve got Windows XP. Windows 3.1 doesn’t exist.

Eric: Oh, quiet down Laura. I used to have Windows 3.1.

Andrew: [impersonating Laura] What are you talking about?

Ben: Okay.

Eric: Laura, okay, whatever.

Andrew: [impersonating Laura] Stop it!

Ben: Okay. Okay, guys. [laughs] The jig is up people. It’s not really… We don’t have a full house here. It is just the Three Amigos, right Eric?

Eric: The Three Amigos – that’s correct.

Ben: It’s me, Ben Schoen, Andrew Sims, and Eric Scull. Micah, grace us with your amazing power of voice-over and take away the News.


To celebrate the release of the UK Goblet of Fire DVD, Collectormania 9 will be attended by several Harry Potter actors. Actors confirmed thus far are Robert Pattinson (Cedric), Matthew Lewis (Neville), and James and Oliver Phelps (Fred and George). Admission is free and the event runs from April 28th to May 1st, with most of the Harry Potter guests appearing on Sunday, 30th April.

Lizo of CBBC Newsround recently visited the set of the fifth Harry Potter movie and interviewed the stars. Among the information that was gathered we learned that the kissing scene has been postponed for a few weeks due to Dan having the flu, scenes involving the Room of Requirement and the Forbidden Forest have started filming, including the part where the centaurs rampage after Umbridge. And David Heyman said the film would be released either summer or fall 2007, and the sixth film, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince will be out late 2008. He also mentioned that a trailer should be revealed by the end of this year. Check out the full video of the interview on MuggleNet.com.

More Order of the Phoenix news: Gary Oldman’s long-time manager Doug Urbanski completed the deal Tuesday morning with Harry Potter producer David Heyman, making it official that the actor will reprise the role of Sirius Black in the Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix movie.

Jamie Waylett, the actor who plays Crabbe in the Potter films has updated his online blog with a few Order of the Phoenix filming updates, so be sure to check those out.

J.K. Rowling has painted a ceramic egg and donated it to an auction taking place at Jam House in Queen Street today, which will benefit the Multiple Sclerosis Society Scotland. A variety of other celebrities have done the same, and at least 150 people are expected to attend and tickets are priced at £50 each, which includes a champagne reception, a three-course meal, whisky tasting and live entertainment from The Jam House band. Man, I wish I was going to that.

British afternoon talk show Richard & Judy announced Friday that in series two, beginning on June 19th, they will conduct an exclusive interview with Jo Rowling! By that time, we expect her to have quite a good bit of Book 7 written, so you know, we hope she’ll talk a little about that. The date of this interview ties in with Jo’s planned appearance at the Queen’s 80th birthday party at Buckingham Palace.

Continuing their site updates, Scholastic, the American Harry Potter publisher has updated once again to include new downloads related to Prisoner of Azkaban. Updates for Goblet of Fire through Half-Blood Prince are expected in the upcoming weeks.

Finally, you can read about Snape killing Dumbledore in paperback, as the UK and US editions of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince are set to be released on June 23rd and July 25th, respectively. Both versions can be pre-ordered through Amazon.com.

That’s all the news for this March 26th, 2006 edition of MuggleCast. Back to the Trio.

Ben: Thanks for that, Micah.


Ben: Okay, it’s time for some announcements, right Andrew? Right, Andrew? Right, Andrew?

Andrew: That’s wrong, Ben.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: No, let’s see. What do we have here? Just the usual stuff guys. Don’t forget to buy a MuggleCast t-shirt because as Eric said last week, something about Tootsie Rolls – they are going to explode. I can’t… I can’t… I can’t remember why.

Eric: [laughs] Explode.

Andrew: Something about exploding Tootsie Pops.

Eric: Yes.

Andrew: I zoned out after your first two sentences.

Eric: Yes, Andrew.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: Usually everything you say after your first two sentences is completely useless. So… [laughs]

Eric: Except for the last two sentences in which I sum it up.

Andrew: Oh, okay.

Ben: But also, vote for us on Podcast Alley – this is ridiculous, right Andrew?

Andrew: Yeah, because usually I don’t like to ask because it’s like, “Oh, they already know. I shouldn’t have to say anything.” But then, we’re not even in the Top 10 list, so it kind of worries me. So, don’t forget. Once we’re in the Top 10 list I will stop bugging.

Ben: It’s terrible! Yeah.

Andrew: And one last thing, just a general notice, we usually record these shows on Wednesdays now, so if you want to get in your Listener Rebuttals or your What Ifs or whatever you want, your Voicemails too – those especially – make sure you get those in by Wednesday of each week because we usually record on Wednesdays. Anything after that is usually going to get, won’t make it on the show. We’ll read them, but it probably won’t make it on the show.

Eric: Right, for…

Andrew: So, listen to the show early in the week, gather your thoughts and send in your stuff.

Eric: That’s right.

Ben: That is correct. We forgot to explain ourselves – why there isn’t very many people this week. I think…

Eric: I got the perfect idea.

Ben: What is it Eric?

Andrew: Why?

Eric: They didn’t buy their MuggleCast t-shirts. And so now they are running around stark naked trying to find clothes and they couldn’t be with us because of what I said the first time, which was…

Ben: [laughs] Yeah!

[Andrew and Ben laugh throughout]

Andrew: You’ll lose your clothes. But seriously the reason that they are not on is because originally we were going to record Wednesday like we usually do and then now we’re recording Saturday night. [laughs]

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: We got… I got T-minus 12 hours – 18 hours to finish it.

Ben: Yeah poor…poor Andrew.

Andrew: Nobody could make it.

Ben: Well see what happened was, on Wednesday we were going to record, and then Jamie had some audio problems where he couldn’t get his mike working.

Eric: Yeah.

Ben: And then tonight, he set his alarm for 4 AM…

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Just to get up.

Ben: …so he could come on the show, and then his mike still wouldn’t work – the poor guy. So we’re going to get him hooked up with a new one here soon enough.

Andrew: And then the reason Kevin isn’t here is because he’s at some community service event, which I thought was really nice. I said, you know what, go do your community service thing.

Ben: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah, its…

Andrew: Because you’re…

Ben: Hope he doesn’t have too wild of a night.

Eric: Yeah, it’s Daffodil Days.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: I just thought that was nice, and sorry he couldn’t be on. And Laura is doing something and Micah is doing something, so… [laughs]

Listener Rebuttal

Ben: It’s time for this week’s Listener Rebuttal, right Andrew? I always say that, “Right, Andrew?”

Eric: [impersonating Andrew] Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: So, as you guys remember from last week, this is going to be the part of the show where we read listener e-mails on the air that respond to things that we discussed the episode before. So, this first one comes from Jenna, 14, of Connecticut. She writes (very short and to the point): “I think the reason JKR does more narrating in the first book is that the characters aren’t developed enough yet in order to drive the stories themselves.”

Now, we had been talking about how J.K. [mispronounces] Rowling wrote it this way, and basically that sums up what we were saying. I just thought that was nice.

Eric: That’s nice, yeah.

Ben: That is nice.

Eric: Well also, Harry is young in the way that… Well, first of all, if the story started with Harry that would be kind of interesting, but we wouldn’t have that back story. And what little back story we have is very important. But yeah, I like hearing about… I think one of the things about Harry Potter is that the most fascinating characters are – I don’t want to say the ones that aren’t Harry, but all the characters are interesting and it’s good to see stuff about them too, and we don’t really get a lot of that later on.

Andrew: Right, and then also a little slip up last week. Well actually, I don’t know. Was this a slip up, Eric?

Eric: Wait, what?

Andrew: About Ted Tonks being a Muggleborn?

[Ben laughs]

Eric: No, because I’m… Well, read it first.

Andrew: A lot of people missed… Well, it came from tons of people. I don’t have… I’m not quoting any specific person.

Eric: Oh…

Andrew: A lot of people wrote in to say that, “You guys are wrong. You’re idiots. Ted Tonks is actually a Muggleborn.” But Eric was the one talking about it. Do you… I think people just misinterpreted what you were saying.

Eric: Yeah, I think… Ted Tonks is Muggleborn. There were a lot of people who cited that, and somebody we actually quoted – are you sure it isn’t in the Writely? – said something about…

Andrew: The milkman thing?

Eric: Yeah, yeah. Somebody wrote in to say that I was wrong, that Ted…

Andrew: Matt…

Eric: Oh, you have the name?

Andrew: Matt Smith from Bloomington, Illinois in fact. He points out that Ted Tonks was actually a milkman. He wasn’t sure where he found it, but he read somewhere that Ted Tonks was a milkman, actually.

Eric: [gasps] But I do have a response to this. I think that actually it was not Ted Tonks that was a milkman – I might be going out on a limb, you can Listener Rebuttal me next week – but I think it was Colin Creevey’s and Dennis Creevey’s dad who was mentioned as being a milkman. And it doesn’t mean that Ted couldn’t be a milkman, you know, don’t get me wrong, but I think it was Mr. Creevey who specifically said… I think it was Book 2, Colin went up and introduced himself to Harry and then told him his whole lifestory about his father being a milkman, so I think that it’s Mr. Creevey. So, Ted Tonks may be Muggleborn – that’s fine. Or he may be Muggle, who knows? The world may never know. Just like Tootsie Rolls, but never mind. Tootsie Pops and so yeah, I think Mr. Creevy is the milkman.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, I think so too. Our next Listener Rebuttal. Tricia M., 14, from Long Island, New York writes Sirius had a wand in Book 5 in the chapter when Harry and the Weasleys went back to Grimmauld Place after the attack on Mr. Weasley, Sirius uses his want to summon Butterbeer and he clearly says, “Accio, Butterbeer.” So, we know he got a wand back, but was it his wand, or was it someone else’s wand?

Eric: Well Andrew, my question is what’s it really matter if he got the Butterbeer? [laughs]

Andrew: Because… Well, it proves that he says…

Eric: [laughs] Well, yeah. No, I was… But he got what he wanted. So…

Andrew: We just want to know how he got it back.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: That was the question last week.

Ben: It’s sort of like how did Voldemort get his wand back after he died?

Eric: Well, and the thing is…

Ben: It’s sort of the same thing. And don’t you think the Ministry would have snapped his wand?

Eric: You’d really think so. Just like, you know, what the heck.

Ben: He’s given a life sentence is Azkaban, wouldn’t they snap his wand?

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: Yes.

Eric: I think to be safe, they would. In fact, Hagrid’s wand was snapped and he only got expelled from Hogwarts, didn’t you notice that?

Ben: Yeah.

Eric: Like what’s the deal with that? Couldn’t he enroll in another school or something? Did he need a new wand? I mean he paid like seven Galleons for that thing, you know? You’re not going to just… Why snap it when he got out of Hogwarts? Couldn’t he, you know…

Ben: Right, but I have a feeling he probably went to [mispronounces meaning to say Ollivander’s] Alivan’s to get – no he couldn’t have done that, because he was on the run.

Eric: You mean Ollivander’s. I made that mistake too.

Ben: Ollivander’s. I was like Alivan’s – wait a minute.

Eric: Yeah, [laughs] but…

Ben: Actually, I sent him one. I sent him a wand.

Andrew: Now, wasn’t…

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: …I thought I remember seeing an e-mail about this.

Eric: I don’t know, our good friend… Actually guys, while we are on about Sirius. Our good friend Chaya from the LIVE podcast – she lives in New York.

Andrew: That I called “Shhaya” or something? [laughs]

Eric: She wrote to me. Chaya, yeah. But anyway, she wrote in to me like… She wrote me an instant message like five minutes before I signed off, before we recorded the show, and she said, she had a rebuttal about needing a wand to use Animagus – to turn yourself into an Animagus. And she said that was probably not true because Sirius once again escaped Azkaban and he found that he was able to turn gradually like into a dog. And they wouldn’t notice because they sensed, the Dementors sensed a diminishing feeling – that sort of thing. So, I think it is just a movie error. But yeah, that was her rebuttal. She said Sirius pretty much escaped as a dog, you know, and therefore couldn’t get his wand or couldn’t have his wand or didn’t need to use his wand.

Andrew: But he could have used someone else’s or…

Ben: It’s true.

Andrew: Or he could have…

Eric: Well, I don’t think wands are easily accessible.

Ben: This last listener rebuttal is just about, well, how did he end up with a wand in the first place?

Eric: Yeah.

Ben: After he got out.

Eric: And that’s really the question.

Ben: I don’t know. Ask Jo.

Andrew: One last listener rebuttal. This comes from Jimmy Rose who sent us a really long e-mail with lots of rebuttals. Some of them are pretty good, like the Tootsie Roll one, but I just want to talk about the one where he talks about “won’t” and “shan’t” because we had discussed this for an alarming amount of time last week.

Eric: This is interesting. This is like, yeah. This is one of the most responsed theories.

Andrew: Because this is an interesting topic, but I think Jimmy gets it. Jimmy writes: “I’m sorry to tell you guys that revision of “shan’t” in the British version to “won’t” in the American version is the result of American common usage, changing the proper forms of the English language. The truth is that one should never say “I will” or “I won’t”. First person present tense of this verb is “shall”. This is given more properly as “I shall” or “I shan’t”. American usage is colored by our need to remove perceived complexities or perceived pretension. “Shall” somehow sounds a little prissy so America decided not to use the word properly. In fact “shall” has come to take on a slightly different meaning in legal language. In that arena the word “shall” carries with it the intent of command. For example, “the claimant shall be compelled to cease and desist.” Proper English would rephrase that as “claimant will be compelled.” So basically, what he’s saying, in all of that, is that us Americans screw up the English language terribly.

Ben: Right, right. Like the point I made last week. It’s just idiomatic differences between the two languages. Well, they’re the same language, but between – idiomatic differences between American English and between British English. That’s all it is. The Americans messed things up. I guess. Blame America.

Andrew: But it is our fault, right? Not ours personally, but the country as a whole.

Ben: It’s better.

Andrew: I think it is better.

Ben: We’re…[laughs]

Andrew: That’s your typical American, grease at McDonald’s mentality, teenager.

Ben: Mock. [laughs] Well…

Andrew: I mean I’m not walking around saying, “Dawg, what’s up?” and “Dawg, yo ‘sup?”

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: “The kitchen’s done,” when you’re supposed to say finished.

Ben: That wraps up this week’s Listener Rebuttal. Remember send in your listener rebuttals to mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com. You can go to MuggleCast.com and use the Feedback Form and send them to us. So remember, if there’s something that we mess up, or if you have some complaints, just e-mail us. Right, Andrew? [laughs]

Andrew: That’s right.

Book Discussion: Chapters 4-5, Sorcerer’s Stone

Ben: Eric, this your baby right here. Our in-depth discussion. The Three Amigos here. We’re going to have an in-depth discussion about Sorcerer’s Stone Chapters 4 and 5. So, I hope all of you little kiddies out there read Chapters 4 and 5.

Andrew: Did your homework. That was your assignment.

Ben: Did your homework. That… Yeah, MuggleCast homework.

Andrew: I love assigning homework – my minions.

Ben: So Eric, do you want to start off with a summary or something here?

Eric: Sure, first I am going to say we did get a lot of feedback. And thank you to everybody who gave us feedback on the Chapter-by-Chapter segment. I did respond to a lot of the things in length over on our fan listing forums: mugglecastfan.net/forums. But I’m just going to recap here. A lot of people seem to think it was a bit too much summary last week that we included in it, and that maybe we should bring up things, like, maybe the top four ideas that we think happened in the chapter and, you know, things like that. While we’re doing this chapter discussion, and I wanted to say…

Andrew: And to that I say, “Tough!”

[Ben laughs]

Eric: No, actually, you were the one that said, “Yeah, that’s a great idea!” until I thought…

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Because if we only did four things it would only be – I took fifty notes for this chapter alone. I mean…

Ben: Eric Scull, you are hardcore!

Eric: I am, but it’s not like – I’m not going to talk about all of them, I’m not going to kill our listeners. I think that we should still follow Harry through the book so that we can point out issues.

Chapter 4 – The Keeper of the Keys

Ben: Chapter 4: “The Keeper of the Keys.” [impersonating Hagrid] Rubeus Hagrid. Keeper of the Keys at Hogwarts.

Eric: No you’re right.

[Ben laughs]

Eric: [impersonating Hagrid] Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Let’s just skip to the point because, as you anxious fans have said, “We’ve already read the books! We know everything!” So, here we go. First thing you notice, or first thing I noticed, Vernon, Uncle Dursley, was holding a rifle and, you know, that was the thing in the long slip that he bought and nobody knew what it was – next to the chips. Guys, why do you think he has a rifle? I mean, it seems like a stupid question but if you think about – here’s these, you know, magic people he’s running all across the country from and he buys the rifle, and Hagrid just bends it in two. It’s completely useless. So, why would Vernon even buy a rifle? Seems like a waste of money. He could have bought…

Andrew: Because…

Ben: It is. It is a waste of money.

Andrew: No, it’s not. He’s using it in his defense.

Ben: Sort of as a symbol. Yeah, I think J.K. Rowling, the reason she wrote it that way, it was a symbol to demonstrate just how scared he is and how he’s pulling at strings to try to find a way somehow to protect his family, and Harry, from the magical people.

Eric: Okay.

Ben: If you know what I’m saying.

Andrew: And didn’t you say, Eric, it just went to waste?

Eric: Yeah, it really did. Like, he could have bought more rations with that money. [laughs]

Ben: Oh yeah, more bags of chips.

[Ben and Andrew laugh]

Andrew: Yeah, he didn’t know Hagrid was going to show up and bend the gun in half. Like, not every wizard can bend a gun, so what’s the worst they could do? Grab it from them and…

Eric: I think they were very lucky it was…

Ben: Or they could zap them into oblivion. [laughs]

Andrew: Incendio.

Eric: You know? And they could turn the Dursleys into animals. Several times in the books the Dursleys are all worried about – especially after the Dudley pig thing.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: But, anyway…

Andrew: True. But a gun is a gun.

Eric: A gun is a gun.

Andrew: Which is interesting. I don’t know how wizards would take a gun. Like, if someone is pointing a gun at you…

Eric: They would wrap their hands around the barrel, and they would pull it. [laughs]

Andrew: No. No, they wouldn’t. That’s interesting. How would wizards…

Ben: Actually, actually, actually…

Andrew: How would wizards react to a gun?

Ben: I don’t know.

Eric: They would do the Matrix thing with their wand, where they would stop it in mid-air with their wand. Here’s a book-movie discrepancy. It’s still… The first line of the chapter right? So, Hagrid bursts through the door, but in the movie – movie, it’s a little bit more comical. He says, “Oh, sorry about that,” and he goes and picks the door up. That doesn’t happen in the book. What happens in the book, Hagrid comes in – it’s rather rude. Because he comes in and they’re staring at him and Hagrid says – he says, “You wouldn’t happen to have some tea? It hasn’t been an easy journey.” It’s like – you know? He just comes in and is like, “Got some tea?”

Ben: Yeah.

[Ben and Eric laugh]

Eric: You know? Instead of like, “Sorry about that, I didn’t mean to,” this clumsy giant – and also, he recognizes Harry right away, which is interesting in the movie why they, make him recognize Dudley first, you know? And have him say, “You’re particularly round.”

Ben: Well, it was just for comic…

Eric: Well, I guess but…

Ben: Comic purposes.

Eric: It’s really interesting, so…

Andrew: I really think that was basically Chris Columbus’ style. He wanted to make it fun.

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: Like if you’re going to a movie to see entertainment and be entertained, Hagrid is a perfect of character to bring out the laughs from people because you see him come in, “Oops, sorry about that.”

Ben: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: You know? Ha, ha, ha, ha – look at him.

Ben: “Oops.”

Andrew: It was for comedy. Chris Columbus is a very family-orientated film maker.

Eric: He really is and he…

Andrew: When he’s filming, I will bet you he is always keeping the family of four going to see the movie in mind.

Eric: And Steve Kloves.

First Eye Mention

Here’s a big plot. Once Hagrid recognizes Harry, he says right away, out of nowhere, almost as his abruptly as he says, “You got any tea?” – which was rude. He turns to Harry and says, “You look like your dad except you’ve got your mother’s eyes. Those mother’s eyes.” Now we hear, time and time again. And just like where we want to track – where I wanted to track all of Harry’s dreams, we should track all the times they tell him he has his mother’s eyes because everybody, the first thing, “Oh, you look like your dad but you have your mothers eyes.”

Ben: Yeah.

Eric: What do you guys think? Like why is that – it’s after Book 6. And why is…

Ben: Right, well I think there’s something significant about Harry’s eyes.

Eric: I think there has to be, I mean…

Ben: Because it has something to do with, you know, it’s the one trait he has of his mother because besides that he looks pretty much like his dad. And his mother’s love is the only reason that he’s alive to begin with.

Eric: I think that’s interesting. What do – yeah…

Ben: What about the eyes though? What significance do they hold?

Eric: I don’t know. What do eyes do in the books? Have we met any powerful eyes, I mean any power…

Ben: Well, Voldemort’s eyes are oftentimes – aren’t they – they’re red. Right?

Eric: I don’t know. That might be a movie thing, that might be a book thing, I forget which. I think they’re slit-like. They’re like snake eyes.

Ben: Yeah, they’re slit-like but – I don’t know. Sometimes you can tell a lot by somebody’s eyes.

Andrew: Yeah, I was going to say – I think you guys are over thinking it a little too much. Eyes show the most emotion in someone’s face. I think…

Ben: Yeah.

Eric: Eh.

Andrew: I thought I remembered reading something about that. They got to, they show a million different things. If you just look at a person’s eyes, you could probably see how they’re feeling. Eyes are very defining.

Eric: I agree with that, and I was going mention…

Andrew: Eric, you have beautiful eyes.

Ben: He does. God, they’re beautiful.

Andrew: Like, what does anyone say? Even like your typical family? Your typical family member will go, “Oh, he has his mother’s eyes,” you know? Like to a newborn or, you know? No one says he has his mother’s…never mind.

Eric: [laughing] He has his mother’s… ankles.

Andrew: No.

Eric: They always bring up Lily’s eyes like it’s some kind of magical significance because they do bring it up a lot, but I wanted to say, in addition to what Andrew said, actually I agree with that. I think maybe – do you guys think that since they compare him to his dad physically, do you think that the relationship where they say that you have your mother’s eyes and the eyes tell most about the person, say that Harry isn’t cocky like his father was? Do you think that’s what JKR’s trying to draw out? That Harry even though he looks like his dad, he’s more kind than possibly we know James to have been.

Ben: I think that it’s – I think it’s just a distinct differentiation between him and his father. I personally think that’s all it is.

Eric: You are truly are not your father’s son, Harry. Because…

Andrew: No, not that way. There has got to be differences. If those two are just like each other, there are going to be a million more assumptions.

Eric: Yeah.

Ben: You’re right, you’re right.

Andrew: He can’t really have that. It’s a boring character. I mean, you read up on James and you know about Harry.

[Eric laughs]

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: They’re going to be exactly alike.

Hagrid’s Coat

Eric: Cool. In his coat, there were: a copper kettle, sausages, a poker, teapot, chipped mugs, and some amber liquid he took a swig from, which is probably alcoholic but shhh, we can’t say that. And so, in addition he also has the owl, and the letter, and the quill in his pockets which we find out later. That’s a lot of stuff in his coat. Where do you think he got one?

Andrew: And not only that, I’m looking at one page right now – Chapter 5, page 62 – oh, I’m a chapter ahead.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Andrew: But…

Eric: If it’s significant, that’s okay.

Andrew: …J.K. Rowling goes on to say: bunches of keys, slug pellets, balls of string, peppermint humbugs…

Eric: Oh my god.

Andrew: …tea bags, and then finally Harry pulled out a handful of strange looking coins.

Eric: Huh. Wait, are you sure the coins wasn’t the Knut [pronounces it like newts] thing?

Andrew: It’s the Knuts [pronounces it like nuts}.

Eric: I actually think it’s pronounced Knuts. [pronounces it like newts]

Andrew: Really?

Ben: Yeah.

Eric: Actually…

Ben: They’re K-nuts. If you look on the Scholastic pronunciation guide.

Andrew. K-nuts or Knuts?

Ben: K-nuts.

Eric: Oh, K-nuts.

Andrew: Really?

Eric: Oh, that’s really cool because I don‘t know when that would have been…

Andrew: That’s weird.

Eric: It’s one of those extra pop fluff things. I’ll post it on a website but you know, we won’t hear it in the movie.

Andrew: Anyway, what was your question?

Eric: Where did Hagrid get his coat? Because that holds a lot of stuff, and why didn’t he have only one giant-sized pocket that’s the size of a room and he jumps into it and – I don’t know? [laughs]

Ben: I don’t know where he got his coat. It’s sort of silly.

Eric: Okay, then in that case, I think it’s important to know that when he does get the sausages, and the poker, and the tea, and stuff out of his pocket, he cooks up sausages and Harry likes them. Now this is…

Ben: [mock gasps] Oh my gosh, he likes food? He likes food! [laughs]

Eric: No, Hagrid’s food. It’s a downward spiral from here because that’s like the only food of Hagrid’s that Harry likes, isn’t it? Because like the rock cakes and the other stuff – from here on in, you know, Harry, Ron, and Hermione turn down everything Hagrid offers them.

Andrew: Well, it could have been one of those things where in the beginning of writing the book, Jo was like, “Hey, I’m going to…” She probably just didn’t think it through all the way.

Eric: [laughs] Yeah. Well, yeah. But Harry was starving too, so I don’t know.

Andrew: Yeah, well, I think in the beginning of the book she didn’t really think about, “Oh, should Harry not like anything that Hagrid makes?” you know? Sausage isn’t like…

Ben: Yeah, how can you not like sausage?

Andrew: You know what I mean? Yeah.

Eric: Can you make a sausage bad? Yeah.

Ben: I don’t know.

Andrew: That’s definitely Hagrid food.

Ben: And Hagrid doesn’t – the food they don’t like of Hagrid’s is food that Hagrid has sort of like, home-brewed you know? [laughs] He made it himself.

Andrew: Right.

Ben: It isn’t like he went out and slaughtered the pig and made the sausage out of the entire intestines and stuff, but…

Mimble Wimble

Eric: I need Micah or Laura for this, but maybe you guys can help. When Hagrid…

Andrew: Why, are we too stupid to answer?

Eric: No, it’s not like that at all.

Andrew: [laughs] Okay, go ahead.

Eric: Anyway, [laughs] when Hagrid backs Vernon Dursley into the wall he mutters something that sounds like Mimble Wimble. Well, Dumbledore is Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot or whatever, and he has like this Mugwump, this Supreme Mugwump thing. And there is all these other weird terms that – they’re like status symbols, but I thought, I swear I could have hear Mimble Wimble actually mentioned somewhere as something else. Like, it might be an actual…

Andrew: Somewhere else?

Eric: Like a word. Like in another future book like “Nitwit, Blubber, Oddment, Tweak.” I don’t know, Mimble Wimble is – I just feel like I’ve heard it somewhere else. In fact, what kind of reply is that anyway? Hagrid goes up and is like “Mimble Wimble,” you know?

Ben: No, he was cowering. He was like [mutters incoherently]. It just sounded like Mimble Wimble.

[Eric laughs]

Ben: It’s not like he looked at Hagrid and he says, “Mimble Wimble!”?

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Ben: It’s like he was mumbling. He wasn’t…

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: He was mumbling.

Eric: All right.

Ben: Not, “Mimble Wimble!” [laughs]

The Potters

Eric: This is our first correlation backwards. Our first backwards compatible correlation. Last week we were talking about McGonagall and Dumbledore on Privet Drive. Now, Hagrid tells Harry that not only he was famous but the Potters were famous. He says, “Your parents were famous. The famous Lily and James Potter.” And Harry’s like, “Really?” And Hagrid’s like, “Yeah, you didn’t know?” And then he goes into the car crash, but anyway. He says the Potters are famous, but now McGonagall and Dumbledore, you got to remember in Chapter 1, they’re walking along and she’s – McGonagall is trying to get the rumor out of Dumbledore, like what happened to the Potters, except she’s says, “What they’re saying is that Lily and James Potter are…well, that they’re dead.” Well, she talks to Dumbledore in a sort of third person sense about the Potters, but it seems that if they were in the Order, and McGonagall was in the Order previously and Dumbledore were in the Order, she would not have used the last name. Like she would have just said – it would have just been “Lily and James are dead?”

Andrew: Lily and James.

Eric: Lily and James. I mean…

Ben: Yeah.

Eric: Right after he nods, she’s like “Lily and James, oh I can’t believe it, Dumbledore.” So, she does use their first names like – I don’t know. It seems like some intimacy is lost. Anyway, the Potters were famous. Which was an interesting thing.

Ben: They were?

Eric: They really were and they were famous before Harry was famous, and so that’s…

Ben: Where did you read that at?

Eric: No, Harry hasn’t come across any books about – first of all, himself. Hermione said there are books everywhere about him, but he hasn’t come across books about himself…

Ben: Hold on, hold on a second.

Andrew: When did Hermione say that?

Ben: How do you know that Harry’s family was famous?

Eric: Because Hagrid says it. There are all these books apparently about Harry, so wouldn’t it make sense they are about his parents if his parents were famous?

Andrew: Are you sure Hermione says that? And when?

Eric: It’s in one of the future chapters I can’t talk about because we can’t read it yet.

Andrew: I never remember that. Interesting, though.

Eric: I think it’s on the train in Chapter 6 or 7 of this book. I think she says, “There are books written about you.”

Ben: Yeah.

Eric: Because she helped him out about Voldemort in the future or something. Oh, “I’ve read about you.” Remember she says…

Andrew: Oh, well that could be in a newspaper or something. That doesn‘t mean…

Eric: Oh well, anyway. Okay, it’s page 50 in the US version. It says, “‘But you must know about your mom and dad,'” he said. I mean “‘They’re famous. You‘re famous!'” Which is all he said. It’s right after Mimble Wimble. He says, “They’re famous.” Something out of nothing maybe, but it did say that they were famous. So, it’s interesting. Well, do you think they’re famous because he’s famous? Or do you think they were famous beforehand? Because if they are then Harry could easily read up on his parents.

Andrew: Oh.

Eric: You know? It seems like there are all these resources available to Harry that he’s not taking.

Andrew: That’s a good point. No, I think…

Ben: I don’t know.

Andrew: …they are famous because they are the parents of the Boy-Who-Lived.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: And everyone knows that is was Lily that protected Harry so that’s why she’s well-known.

Eric: Actually, wait, no, no, no. Because then he asks – Harry asks right after that, “What, my mom and dad weren’t famous, were they?” and the Hagrid says, “You don’t know. You don’t know.” So, actually it seems that it implies that they were famous before they had Harry – before they died. Because this is…

Andrew: No, he’s saying “were famous” because they’re dead.

Eric: My mom and dad weren’t famous – no.

Ben: Yeah, and that they’re…

Eric: No, because he should say “aren’t” then. If he said, “My mom and dad aren’t famous, are they?” He says, “Weren’t famous, were they?” They were at the time is what it‘s asking.

Andrew: No, I still think it was at the time when they died.

Eric: I don’t. I’m sorry.

Andrew: Let’s keep moving on. We’ve got some other stuff we can talk about.

Hagrid and the Letter

Eric: I think Hagrid knows what Dumbledore wrote in the letter or at least lot of it because – or at least he has an idea because he confronts the Dursleys about… He says, “You never told him, never told him what was in the letter Dumbledore left for him? I was there, I saw Dumbledore leave it.” And I think that really implies, you know, “You never told him what was in the letter?” Because I think Hagrid knows what’s in the letter. Do you guys think so? And maybe Harry could consult him in the future about what exactly was in it?

Andrew: Never telling him – no, you’re thinking too hard at this.

Eric: No, I think we can imply…

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Eric: We can imply that the letter at least told him that he was a wizard or something, you know? And that he would be accepted into Hogwarts or whatever.

Andrew: The letter probably said what happened to the parents, to Lily and James. Yeah, that he’s a wizard and why he was brought to them.

Eric: Then what did, in Book 5, what did “remember my last” mean? Do you think that was in the letter or did that happen after the letter?

Andrew: No, I think that probably had to do with something afterwards…

Eric: I think so, too.

Andrew: Because there were so many run-ins with the magical world during Books 1 though 5, so, between the Dursleys.

Eric: I think “remember my…”

Andrew: I mean, just with, you know, like the accidents and all that.

Eric: Yeah, I think “remember my last” happened after the letter, but, that was that question.

Voldemort’s Attempt at Potter Persuasion

Eric: The two final theories of Chapter 4: Hagrid is telling Harry about his parents and he says, “Now, yer mum an’ dad were as good a witch an’ wizard as I ever knew. Head Boy an’ Girl at Hogwarts in their day! Suppose the myst’ry is why You-Know-Who never tried to get ’em on his side before. He probably knew they were too close ter Dumbledore ter want anythin’ ter do with the Dark Side. Maybe he thought he could persuade ’em…maybe he just wanted ’em outta the way.” You see, Hagrid says here that he thinks Voldemort tried to persuade the Potters into turning or something, because he says, “The myst’ry is why You-Know-Who never tried to get ’em on his side before.” So, do you think, like Hagrid apparently thinks that Voldemort tried to turn the Potters to his side, to join him? And, why do you think he thinks that? That’s pretty big, don’t you think?

Ben: That is true.

Andrew: Was there…just trying to think how that kind of word would have spread. Because there wasn’t anyone else around that whole scene, right?

Eric: Yeah, why would he think that?

Andrew: Maybe it’s just misinterpretation. [laughs]

Eric: It could be just a silly Hagrid bumble.

Ben: Probably.

Andrew: Or just some random rumor.

Eric: Hagrid attributed – there’s an answer. Last week we asked what destroyed the Potters’ house – we asked what destroyed it? Hagrid thinks it was the Death Curse itself, even though the Death Curse normally doesn’t touch anything, Hagrid says that the Death Curse, when he says that Voldemort couldn’t even kill a little baby, he said, “It took care of your mom and your dad and your house even, but it couldn’t take care of you.”

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: You hear that? He says, like, “It took care of your mom and your dad and your house,” so I think, as far as Hagrid knows, it was the Death Curse that did destroy the house.

Chapter 5 – Diagon Alley

Andrew: Yeah, well. That does solve that question. So, that pretty much wraps up Chapter 4, how about we move on to Chapter Cinco now?

Eric: Okay, we are going to speed through Chapter 5, are you guys ready?

Ben: Let’s go, a hundred miles an hour.

Andrew: Yeah, right.

Eric: Shoot your Mountain Dew or caffeine or whatever you have. Okay, they go to bed [laughs] and they wake up the next day, and Harry has Hagrid’s coat over him and he says, he thinks it’s a dream and he hears the owl tapping on the window and he thinks it’s Petunia tapping on his cupboard. Anyway, I just realized…

Andrew: Yes.

Eric: …how quickly Harry comes to the conclusion that it’s all a dream. It’s like he’s really willing to believe that it’s all a dream. So, do you guys think…

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: …that the Harry Potter series is all a dream?

Ben: No.

Andrew: That tells you – I really… Everyone assumes that with every single book or…

Eric: I agree.

Andrew: …television show or movie. Well, not with the movies, by the end of a movie you know everything, but… Like, for example the television show Lost that we are staring a Podcast with me, Melissa, and John, hopefully someday soon…

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Uh oh.

Andrew: Everyone’s like, “Oh, well maybe it’s a dream.” Why?

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: Why? What kind of ending would that be?

Eric: What kind of a… Yeah, you’re right.

Andrew: Has there ever been a book, or movie, or television show where it ends up in a dream? I really don’t think so.

Ben: Right.

Andrew: I’m sure we’re going to get emails with someone saying, “Yeah, a movie back in 1970.”

Ben: Galadriel Waters theorized about this in both of her books, in all of the books she’s written to this point, about whether this series…there’s all types of things it could be. It could be like Alice in Wonderland. How does Alice in Wonderland end? Was that, “It’s all a dream?”

Eric: All I know is that Hagrid had dormice in his pocket, which is kind of like Alice in Wonderland.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Okay, the point we’re getting to is that, no, it can’t be true.

Eric: No, I think…

Andrew: Harry could have assumed – of course Harry could assumed it was a dream because he’s actually living in a moment like this.

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: But sometimes you’ve got to get yourself together…

Eric: [Sings] You’ve got to get yourself together…

Ben: I guarantee you that if…

Andrew: …and you can’t get out of it.

Eric: [Still singing] You got stuck in a moment…

Ben: Right, but – Eric!

Eric: [Still singing]…and you can’t get out…

Andrew: But oh Lord, look at him now, he got himself stuck in a moment.

Eric: Yeah, no seriously…

Andrew: And he can’t get out of it.

Eric: Who does that song?

Ben: U2.

Andrew: U2, [laughs] are you serious? You’re singing it.

Eric: [laughs] I didn’t just ask that question. Okay, no so…

Andrew: But it’s so typical…

Eric: No, in the case… I agree, I agree Andrew…

Andrew: It could be typical of anyone.

Ben: No, but seriously though, I think – Yeah, that’s the point. That’s what I was going to say.

Eric: Yeah, I…

Ben: Many people would be so mad if J.K. Rowling uses a lame ending…

Eric: Yeah.

Ben: …like, “And then, it was all a dream,” you know?

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: He woke up and he searched for his scar.

Ben: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: [laughs] Harry woke up in his four-story mansion with his parents by his bedside.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: Sirius was there, a long-bearded man was there too.

Eric: You were there, you were there, you were there. [laughs and continues in a deep voice] “It was all a dream, Harry.” Okay, but see, yeah. My main thing against the dream theory, first of all, in the case of Lost, what sick mind comes up with all that drama, you know, for a dream? And also…

Andrew: The writers. [laughs]

Eric: [laughs] The writers! Yeah, Chris Carter – X-files. But the – no, there are too many nights and days, I think. There is too much information. There is too many… There’s too much information, I think, in the Harry Potter series for it to believably be a dream. When I have really weird dreams–and I do have really weird dreams, I don’t learn anything new really. It just kind of like – it adds things, but I don’t really, you know, here Harry is for seven years. He sleeps, he wakes up, he eats, he goes and he plays Quidditch, he almost dies however many times – all that stuff and then he goes to bed at night. And, you know, how can going to sleep and waking – have you ever had a dream where you were having a dream, where you were having a dream, where you were having a dream? Have you? Because I haven’t.

Andrew: No, but I had this dream once where it was like I closed my eyes and I woke up and it was morning. It was so awesome.

Eric: Yeah, I thought I did that do…

Andrew: It’s like the shortest night’s sleep ever.

Eric: I was thirteen, I think and I was really tired and I closed my – I blinked and then it was morning again. Like I blinked, like I didn’t even feel like it was…

Andrew: Yeah. And then there was this one time where…

Ben: What do you mean? I’m confused. What are you talking about – you blink and it’s morning, I don’t get that.

Andrew: Like, you fall asleep and then it feels like a second later you wake up and it’s morning. That happened to me once.

Eric: That happened to me once, too.

Andrew: But, anyway…

Eric: Pointlessness. Hagrid… They take the boat that the Dursleys use to get on to the rock off the rock. Hagrid says, “We should take the boat because we shouldn’t use magic.” First of all, once they get in the boat, Hagrid says, “Do you mind if I do magic to make us go faster?” And Harry’s all like, “No.” And he’s like, “You shouldn’t mention it at Hogwarts.” So the whole reason they got in the boat was because they couldn’t do magic and then as soon as they get in the boat, Hagrid’s like, “This is – screw this Muggle thing, it’s too slow. We need to magic-it up.” He’s totally a hypocrite. And, now the Dursleys don’t have a ride back. How do you think the Dursleys got back? Did they swim?

Andrew: Oh, it’s another one of those building continuity problems where – they show up everywhere. It’s just another error. How do they get back? Well, wait a second, wasn’t there a man with a boat who drove them over originally?

Eric: No, No.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: They took the man’s boat and threw themselves over.

Andrew: Okay, so the man, the man… Well, if you want to argue this, you could say that the man came back over looking for them, to see what they were doing.

Eric: Because he didn’t see the…

Andrew: Picked them up and brought them back.

Eric: Yeah, maybe they didn’t…

Andrew: There’s the answer right there.

Eric: Maybe they didn’t pay for their…unless they paid ahead of time. Okay, so…

Ben: Maybe they floated on Dudley back over.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: He’s a big whale, pretty big whale.

Eric: Or Vernon.

Cornelius Fudge

Eric: Okay, according to Hagrid, you know, Hagrid starts reading the paper the owl brought, which we won’t talk about because we talked about Knuts and that’s the only thing we wanted to say about that. Hagrid is reading the paper and Harry asks him about a Minister of Magic, because Hagrid mentioned the Minister of Magic, you guys remember this?

Ben: Yes.

Eric: I think it said that Cornelius Fudge only appeared to the Muggle Minister in times of desperate crisis, like once every year or so, or months, you know? He didn’t keep him updated at all. So, according to Hagrid, the Minister of Magic’s main job is to keep the Muggles from noticing, but yet he never talks to the Muggle Minister so it seems. I don’t know. Like, what does Cornelius Fudge do all day besides send letters to Dumbledore asking him what to do all day?

Ben: Well, it’s the same type of thing you think about when you say, what does the principal at school do all day?

Andrew: Exactly.

Ben: I mean, sit back in the office and do nothing, you know. That’s totally not what they do. They actually have a job that’s a lot more complicated than you would think. Because when you’re on the outside looking in like that, at first glance, it appears that they’re not really doing that much, but in reality, they’re doing a lot.

Eric: I would agree with that.

Andrew: Paperwork, there’s hearings, there’s meetings.

Ben: Right.

Eric: Yeah, there’s bribes to accept from Lucius Malfoy.

Ben: And then, [laughs] yeah. Think about all the magical departments. He has to oversee all of them.

Eric: Does he though, does he? I mean, I think, in the case of Fudge, he’s very incompetent and I don’t even know if he would. Like, it’s really interesting. Like, he has to attend so many meetings…

Ben: I think people overplay the Fudge incompetency thing.

Eric: I would agree with that only because, if he was too incompetent, they would have kicked him out.

Ben: Yeah, he would have been impeach – the equivalent of the US President being impeached. But, the point I’m trying to make, the point that I think we’re all trying to make here is that – what I was trying to say basically was that Cornelius Fudge, even though sometimes it appears… For example, the only reason people say he’s incompetent… I kind of got…I don’t know what I was trying to say. But… [laughs]

Eric: It was because he was compared to Dumbledore a lot?

Ben: That and he just denied that Voldemort was back and that’s what people say made him incompetent. I think that the reason that he may have denied it to begin with was because he knew he wasn’t capable of coping with that and he didn’t want to basically have it be his administration that has to deal with Voldemort coming back and get blamed for everyone being killed and stuff like that.

Eric: I can really see that from a political standpoint, like…

Ben: Thank you.

Eric: Yeah, Ben! Woohoo.

Ben: [Imitating Andrew] Yeah! Yeah! All right!

Eric: Do you think on a side note relating back to the impeachment thing – do you think that Cornelius Fudge would have a relationship with the woman who was the voice on the phone in the telephone booth at the Ministry?

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Aren’t you funny?

Ben: I would not be surprised.

Evil Wizards and Witches

Eric: Take this one on for size, this note kicks butt, I might say. “Not a single witch or wizard who went bad who wasn’t in Slytherin.” Now, you can twist – that’s a lot of double negatives there. But when Hagrid tells this to Harry, it is Hagrid, not Ron as it is in the movie – Hagrid says that there’s, listen to this, “There’s not a single witch or wizard who went bad who wasn’t in Slytherin.” Now, you could take this to mean that there’s no witches or wizards who weren’t in Slytherin that didn’t go bad.

Andrew: Right.

Eric: Can he mean that? But, Pettigrew…

Andrew: So all Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaws are good?

Eric: If you can read this like this, like “Not a single witch or wizard who went bad…” Like, “there was not single witch or wizard who went bad who wasn’t in Slytherin.” So, does that mean… We do know Pettigrew was a Gryffindor, right? Yeah, so does that mean that Pettigrew didn’t go bad? Does that mean that all these other characters who are, you know, other houses than Slytherin didn’t go bad? I mean, if this holds true, if Hagrid isn’t…

Ben: Well, it all depends on what your interpretation of “going bad” is because…

Eric: Well, Pettigrew killed the Potters, didn’t he?

Ben: I think, Pettigrew… Well, Pettigrew is misunderstood. He’s after power. He goes after the person – he’s not actually, he doesn’t want to be in a position of power himself. He wants to be where he’s able to, you know, follow somebody who has power because he’s not charismatic. He’s not good enough to be able to build it up himself, but he finds somebody who he can suck up to like Andrew does to me…

[Eric laughs]

Ben: …then, you know, he just has that situation.

Andrew: Okay, so he wants power, so does going to Voldemort consider himself going bad? I mean, I think so, he’s assisting the most deadliest, worstest, baddest, the meanest wizard alive…

Eric: Right, so then what Hagrid said is wrong…

Ben: The most deadly. [laughs]

Andrew: Mostest deadliest.

Eric: So, what Hagrid said is just a gross generalization and it really doesn’t apply to anything.

Andrew: Yeah, but you know, you have to keep in mind that Hagrid is not the brightest bulb in the box.

Eric: He’s not the brightest giant on the grounds. And so anyway…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Actually, he is.

Eric: Yeah, he is.

Andrew: And also the stupidest.

Eric: Well, he’s a half-giant. Not when Grawp’s there.


Eric: Harry goes into Ollivander’s – this is just real quick – he goes into Ollivander’s, and the back of his neck prickled and he says, “As if there–” JKR writes, “Harry sensed that there…”

Ben: It’s just a spooky place, man.

Eric: It is, but Harry sensed – this is like the quote, almost, “Harry sensed that there was some sort of secret magic.” Now, my question is who is Harry to judge magic? Harry hasn’t even experienced any kind of direct magic, so why would he even be equipped to feel like there’s some kind of “secret magic” within this place? I think it’s JKR telling us that there’s a secret magic in Ollivander’s shop, something we don’t know about, which could have further implications regarding the whereabouts of Ollivander.

Andrew: Well of course there is.

Eric: Well, right.

Andrew: You’re surrounded by these wands that can do thousands, millions of different things.

Eric: But that’s magic, it’s not “secret magic.” It might be “secret magic” because Harry doesn’t know about it, but the way it’s written it seems like it’s ancient… beyond. When I think of the term, “secret magic,” used in this context, I think of Dumbledore’s muttering that weird language at the end of Book 6 when he’s like finds out that he has to cut his wrists to like spray blood to get the Horcrux. I mean, that’s what I think when I think “secret magic.” And like, the door in the middle of nowhere, the invisible stuff.

Andrew: I think it’s called “secret” because Harry is not aware of what any of these hold. So, it is a secret to him.

Eric: So…

Andrew: Well no, not only that, I mean…

Eric: So any magic is “secret magic”?

Ben: No, because Ollivander’s has been within – it’s sort of a – it’s a family business and it’s been there for centuries.

Eric: Is it a family business, or is it just Mr. Ollivander? Could he have been the one who’s been around since 382 B.C.?

Andrew: He’s a pretty old guy. [laughs] Well, not that old.

Ben: That too and he disappeared in Book 6.

Eric: Well, Flamel is 666…

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: …in Sorcerer’s Stone, so…

Ben: Right, but he had the Sorcerer’s Stone.

Eric: Yeah, he had the Elixir of Life, right.

Ben: Right, but the point is, about Ollivander. I don’t know, I think the “secret magic” may have something to do with, you know, just the aura you get when you walk in. Do you know what I mean? Have you guys ever been someplace where it feels like, “Oh there’s something.” You know, like when you go to New York City, for example. Andrew and I talk about this all the time. You know? You just get this energy off the city…

Eric: Yeah, it is in the air.

Ben: …and yeah, it’s a positive energy, you know? But, in terms of, you know there may be some places too where people, you know, you go there and it just makes you depressed because of the way it is.

Eric: Yeah, like a funeral parlor, you wouldn’t find yourself being immensely, you know, joyous in a funeral parlor…

Ben: Excited to go there.

Eric: …unless it’s somebody you really hated.

Andrew: That’s mean, yeah.

Eric: [laughs] That’s a horrible thing to say. But anyway, no, no. I think JKR classifies a lot of rooms, you know, based on what Ben said, I think she does classify a lot of rooms as having like a somber, library sort of, you know, you can’t talk and this kind of thing. Like that’s how she says how Trelawney’s room is, you know kind of like…

Andrew: And you’re unsure of it, so that’s…

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: …sort of a way to call it a secret.

Eric: But, my guess was that, since she mentioned “secret magic” and Harry was rather ill-equipped to disguise, like, any magic at all, let alone “secret magic,” I think she was trying to tell us – that it’s possible that she’s trying to tell us that there is some kind of ancient stuff, but I don’t know how that would come into play, considering Ollivander went missing. Like, I don’t know, like as soon as Voldemort enters Ollivander’s shop to buy another wand, Ollivander just disappears? Like he folds up, or it’s like a Fidelius Charm? You know, what’s the deal? “Secret magic” can imply a lot of things. I just wanted your thoughts.

Ben: Well, the building – the building could be enchanted for certain things and that might be the “secret magic” that he’s thinking of.

Andrew: And Harry, at this point, Harry has no clue…

Ben: Like you said, like…

Andrew: …what any of this. So..

Ben: Right, right. And like you said, and like you guys were talking about how she has a lot more narrating in the book at the beginning because we have to learn everything first. And we grow – we grow as Harry does, and so it could be, it could go back to that, where she still hasn’t really explained much yet.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Okay.

Ben: And, you know, “secret magic” is just really the magic that the wands can hold.

Eric: So you’re saying that was like an initial…

Ben: Because he didn’t know any spells.

Eric: That was like an initial introduction to the kind of environments we’d be seeing in the future?

Ben: Right. It could be that, or it could be something deeper.

Eric: Okay. Same page as the “secret magic” reference, which is 63 in the UK edition – UK paperback, woo! I was hoping to have Jamie on this week so he could read the UK with me and we’d both be on the same page for once, but anyway, another mention to Harry’s mother’s eyes. It’s just another mention on page 63. Ollivander says, “You look like your father, but you have your mother’s eyes,” or whatever. But guys, this is possibly the biggest theory. This is the “shan’t/won’t,” only it’s more significant. This is another tie-in to last week’s show, Chapters 1 and 2, and it has something from Chapter 5. Ollivander greets Harry. He recognized him right away, of course, and he says, you know, “Harry Potter…” Actually, I can read the direct quote because I wrote down the page number. Yay for me! Sixty-four in the UK edition, as I turn to it right now. Okay. He says, “Mr. Ollivander had come so close that he and Harry were almost nose to nose. Harry could see himself reflected in those misty eyes. ‘And that’s where…’ Mr. Ollivander touched the lightening scar on Harry’s forehead with a long, white finger. ‘I’m sorry to say I sold the wand that did it.'” He says. And that’s where…[snaps]! And he points to his scar. That’s awkward. And you know why that’s awkward is because in Chapter 1, McGonagall – it’s right before Dumbledore says it, “He’ll have that scar forever…”

Andrew: Hold up, hold up.

Eric: All right.

Andrew: [laughs] Before you go into going crazy here. And that’s where – that’s where the scar is.

Eric: No, no. And that…

Andrew: That’s where Voldemort cast the spell from the wand that Mr. Ollivander…

Eric: Exactly.

Andrew: …sold to him.

Eric: Exactly. And that’s what I’m going to. No, and that’s where – I’m thinking it means and that’s where… but is that where the Death Curse hit him? Is that what he’s saying? Is he saying, “And that’s where the Death Curse hit you, creating that scar!” Or is he saying, “And that’s where Voldemort made his Horcrux!” Or, you know, “And that’s where…” You know, because a Death Curse, first of all, shouldn’t leave any mark and especially not a mark in a specific place. You know, what is that trying to say? And that’s where his wand was aimed when he fired the Death Curse at you? What does Ollivander know about Harry that Harry doesn’t? You know, about this whole…

Ben: It’s probably, “And that’s where the spell hit you.”

Andrew: That’s what I said, yeah.

[Ben laughs]

Eric: But it…

Ben: I get… Yeah, it as simple as…

Eric: …it seems like such a specific place. Look at this. I’m tying up loose ends. In Chapter 1 – in Chapter 1, he has… After Harry arrives, listen to this. “Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall bent forward over a bundle of old blankets. Inside, just visible was a baby boy fast asleep. Under a tuft of jet-black hair over his forehead, they could see a curiously shaped cut like a bolt of lightening. ‘Is that where?’ whispered Professor McGonagall.” Is that where WHAT? This – McGonagall says, “Is that where…” and Dumbledore replies immediately, “Yes. He’ll have that scar forever.”

Ben: Is that where the spell hit you!

Andrew: Yeah, yeah! Is that where… [laughs]

Eric: The spell doesn’t – no!

Ben: Is that where the spell hit him! [laughs]

Andrew: Nobody’s seen – Shhh. Nobody’s seen it before, so your first reaction… Yeah.

Ben: Nobody’s seen it for eleven years. For eleven years.

Eric: Because they don’t know.

Ben: Forget you two!

Eric: No. I don’t think that’s it at all, because they don’t know the Death Curse isn’t supposed to leave a mark, first of all. So is that where the spell hit him? Is that what they’re asking? Is that what she’s asking and Ollivander’s asking? Because Ollivander proclaims it. He’s like, “And that’s where something did this to you.” But McGonagall asks, “Is that where,” and Dumbledore says “yeah.” It’s the exact same words! It’s, like, bringing attention to the scar. But I really don’t feel that it’s just simple, like “Oh, and that’s where the Death Curse hit you,” because it’s not supposed to leave a mark. Is that where Lily’s love set in? Is that where Voldemort imprinted himself into you? You know, they’re asking all these questions, but Dumbledore replied, “Yes.” It makes me think that Dumbledore and Ollivander know a lot more about Harry’s scar than they’re ever letting on.

Andrew: Well, that could very well be, but if they both know it, if they both know it, then wouldn’t a lot of other people know? And in that case, wouldn’t someone have told Harry by now? You know? It’s open for a lot of debate.

Eric: I’m not thinking – okay. But ‘is that where,’ that’s like the whole chapter of this whole… It’s the epiphany of everything, because they always reference Harry’s scar and then it cuts off.

Andrew: Yeah, that’s true, good point. Hopefully in Book 7 we’ll find out!

Eric: They’re like…

Ben: Yeah.

Eric: “And that’s where, dot, dot, dot.”

Ben: Do you guys know – do you know what really excites me, though, is after we do this and after we’re done doing all of our speculating, and we come back and we look back to all that we’ve said. I’m anxious to see how right we were about things. [laughs]

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Ben: After Book 7.

Eric: I really am. And you know, after we have all these episodes out, we can easily – well, they won’t all be on the feed, which sucks. But they’re, you know, on MuggleCast dot com, you’ll be able to go back and any time in the future, ten years from now, you’ll be able to go back and actually pick a chapter. Like, if you wanted to just read one chapter in the middle of the series, you could hear our discussion on it. It’d be like a companion.

Ben: So, that wraps up the Chapter-by-Chapter discussion for Episode 32 of MuggleCast. Hope you guys enjoyed reading along with us, because we’re having a good time discussing it.

Andrew: We really are.

Ben: It may get a little bit heated from time to time, but we enjoy it.

Segment Contest Honorable Mention

Ben: Next thing we’re going to move on to is the Create Your Own MuggleCast Segment entry. Honorable mention goes to: Several Minutes with Snape. Dun dun dun dun.

Andrew: This is – this was a really – once again, Laura, Micah, and I judged these, and this one was another pretty humorous one. It’s very clever, so… This is also, yeah. This is also the last of the MuggleCast segments that we’re going air actually on the MuggleCast show, and then the rest that were submitted will go into the feed. [laughs] So here it is now, Several Minutes with Snape, by Luke from Melbourne, Australia.

Several Minutes with Severus

Snape: Hello, and welcome to yet another exhilarating episode of Several Minutes with Severus, here on the Wizarding Wireless Network, where I teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses, etcetera, etcetera. This show, as always, is brought to you by our sponsors, Total Wassup Daddy, and their new Diagon Alley store – where the latest in filth bling is at fully sick prices. I’m your host, Severus Snape.

First up, the news. Ministry of Magic officials are still searching for the murderer of Albus Dumbledore. Any listeners who might know anything about the whereabouts of the man with greasy black hair, a hooked nose, a tendency to speak in a soft, slow, depressing voice, and say nasty things, should give him a few galleons and maybe some new boots, as mine are worn out at the heel. Those using the Floo powder network to go to work today should take care around the Ministry. An unfortunate collision between an Unspeakable and a chimney sweep has caused severe fireplace jams all the way back to Diagon Alley. Residents of the house at Feelockam Alley, who crossbred a bulldog with a Shih Tzu, are advised: “That’s not funny.” And finally, a foolish wizard who ended up the victim of a series of joke items purchased from Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes would like his legs back.

Well, every week here on the show, we allow you to send in your wacky jokes on this Snape’s Sniggering Section. Today’s joke comes from the Ministry of Magic and has been officially passed by a panel of experts.

Knock Knock.
May I enquire who is there?
Your husband.
Well, I’m afraid I can’t let you in without a code word because there are dark wizards about.

Hilarious, is it not?

Here’s the part of the show where you can ring up and pester me with your woefully superficial problems and I pretend to care and offer advice not endorsed by any professionals whatsoever. Go ahead Caller One, I believe you are Harry or Sarry.

Harry: Ah, hello there.

Snape: Hello to you, Harry.

Harry: I have this problem, you see.

Snape: [interrupts Harry] That does not surprise me in the slightest.

Harry: Well, you see, I’m actually looking for someone.

Snape: And who is that?

Harry: Well, I was wondering – could I just pop right into the station and show you a picture?

Snape:And why is it necessary to come to the station?

Harry: Well, so I can kill you – I mean, kill… kill… someone.

Snape: Thank you, Caller One.

Now that Idiot has ceased wasting valuable time here on the show, it’s time to move on to our voicemails. This one comes from Ronald.

Ron: Well Severus, I was just wondering, how can I stop my best friend from dating my sister? Thank you very much! Love your show, listen to every week.

Snape: Well, Ronald, I suggest poison. As it happens, to me in my youth, I was tormented by a pig-headed and arrogant bully at school. However, my motto has always been forgive and forget. So later in life, I naturally got him murdered, forgave myself, and forgot all about it.

Now we come to everyone’s favorite section, Spy on Severus. I’m right here.

And now to the forecast: up in the areas of Manchester, it will be freezing cold, as low as negative 12 degrees Celsius. Things will get very hot in here though, when I find the little pixie who stole the rest of my weather report.

Today’s book review is on the A to K section of the Yellow Pages, by Anonymous. I found the start thrilling, but the plot became repetitious; and the sequel, L to Zed, was much of the same thing.

We now come to our final section of the show, where I tell you what will happen in the next show. I will, however, maintain suspense and keep a tight lip on this matter.

Well, thank you for joining us here at Several Minutes with Severus, brought to you by the Death Eaters, where they guarantee dismal service or your children back. Stay tuned for our next show here on the Wizarding Wireless Network, Five Frightfully Fur-Fluffing Fun-Filled Fashions from Gregory Goyle, who would like to thank our alliteration expert for coming in one letter of the alphabet too early.

Until next week, I’m Severus Snape. But after that, I’m changing my name to Elvis.

Andrew: Okay, so once again, that was Several Minutes with Snape by Luke from Melbourne, Australia. Congrats to him! And don’t forget, we will be running everyone else’s segments that were entered into the comments – er, into the contest what, like, two months ago? [laughs] They will be…

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: They will be airing in their own show – probably, like, two shows – coming up in the next few weeks.

Eric: Cool.

Andrew: [whispers] Once I’m not lazy!

Looking Ahead

Andrew: Okay everyone. We’re going to cut the show a little short this week, because we want to have everyone on for the voicemails as well as everything else next week. A full crew will be back with the regular content and everything else you have come to love, right here on MuggleCast.

Ben: Okay! Well, everybody, that wraps up Episode 32 of MuggleCast. Next week on the show, we have many things coming back to you.

Andrew: And an…

Ben: Such as…

Andrew: …an editorial. Hopefully.

Ben: …the Editorial Discussion.

Andrew: Hopefully.

Ben: Hopefully.

Andrew: We’re not – we’re having a hard time getting editorialists to come on and talk with us. So, if you have a favorite one in mind, make sure to email them and say, “Hey! You should call MuggleCast. E-mail Micah.”

Ben: I really want to get Maline on.

Andrew: Email her.

Ben: The North Tower? That’d be a good idea. That’d be good. And also, we have our What If segment, which we skipped over this week also because of the lack of numbers. We can also do the Listener Rebuttals, the voicemails, and everything. Kevin Steck will be back next week with more voicemails than you can imagine! Awww, geez. It’s going to be incredible.

Eric: And also, Chapter-by-Chapter. We’re thinking of doing Chapters 6 and 7, to let you know what chapter we’re… Once we get into the future books, we’ll be able to jump ahead a little bit more. But right now, the whole thing, the whole introduction to Harry is where all this… We’re taking it a little slow, so we’re still doing two chapters at a time. We hope it’ll go faster. But six and seven for next week.

Andrew: Yeah, which is another thing. We got – we seriously got a record number of emails this – over the past week, we got like 400. And that’s because last week, last week I was like, “Send this to mugglecast at staff! Send that to mugglecast at staff! Send that to mugglecast at…” [laughs]

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: So… What?

Eric: Wait, Andrew! The most important rebuttal – Tootsie Rolls. They’re invented, or they’re made by the Tootsie Roll Company. Tootsie Rolls.

Andrew: Yes.

Eric: I think it’s literally called…

Andrew: God bless them.

[Ben laughs]

Eric: …Tootsie Rolls Industries, Incorporated. Chicago, Illinois. And I’ve been to Chicago.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: So next time I’m in Chicago, I’ll have to go to…

Andrew: Yup.

Eric: …there’s a street address, but yeah.

Andrew: Take a picture?

Ben: Tootsie…yeah.

Show Close

Andrew [Show Close with music in background]: So, thanks…

Ben: Okay.

Andrew: Thanks everyone for your emails…

Ben: Hope you all had fun.

Andrew: …and thanks for all your support. You know, I love, like, going on, like, MySpace and just, like, the fan forums and the chat room, and just seeing everyone, how appreciative they are of the show. And, you know, we’ve said it before. We love the, we just love the reactions.

Ben: Yeah, we love you guys! Okay, everybody. I hope you all enjoyed the show. Remember, if you have any questions, comments, or suggestions, please send them to mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com. Continue to visit MuggleNet, continue to visit the site. Hope you guys had fun! I’m Ben Schoen.

Andrew: I’m Andrew Sims.

Eric: [impersonating Jamie] I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] I’m Kevin Steck.

Eric: I’m Eric Scull.

Andrew: [impersonating Laura] I’m Laura Thompson.

Ben: [impersonating Micah] And I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

Andrew: Goodnight!

Eric: [impersonating Laura] Goodnight!

Ben: Goodnight, everybody!


Andrew: Just, like, the fan forums, and the chat room and just seeing everyone and how appreciative they are of the show. And, you know…

Eric: I feel so bad, I have like ten thousand friend requests.

Andrew: …we’ve said it before. We just love the reactions.

Eric: It’s funny, because I have ten thousand…

Andrew: Okay, don’t show off.

Eric: No! I have ten thousand friend – no!

Andrew: I bet I have more friends than you on MySpace.

Eric: I have ten thousand friend requests, but I have no posts.

Andrew: You’re such a liar! [laughs] Shut up!

Eric: No, no! But I have no posts!

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Eric: Not one single – so, like, I haven’t updated – I created the account.

Ben: Awww.

Eric: In fact, I think it’s dead now. I think they actually disactivated – deactivated – disconnected the MySpace account, because I didn’t use it. But I had so many friend requests. It was so funny because I didn’t have time to update.

Andrew: [laughs] You’re such a show-off.

Eric: No! I’m not a show-off!

Andrew: [laughs] You’re such a…

Eric: I’m saying that it’s so sad…

Andrew: “I had…”

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: “…thousands of friend requests, but they deactivated it, so it all went away.”

Eric: All I’m saying is…

Andrew: What?

Ben: Dude, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew. I can barely fit…

[Eric laughs]

Ben: Andrew, Andrew I can barely fit in this chat, his ego’s so big! Ugh!

Eric: All I’m saying is my reputation precedes me.

Ben: I think it’s time – I think that it’s time to say goodnight.


Written by: Micah, Ally, Martina, and Sarah