Episode 56: Getting Results

  • Listener Rebuttals talk about last week’s Butterbeer and our Voldemort VS Dumbledore discussion.
  • What’s Buggin’ Micah gets results!
  • Don’t believe it was Micah? Andrew finds a hint Jo dropped.
  • Our main discussion: Why did James give Dumbledore the invisibility cloak?
  • Micah’s getting bugged again… look out!
  • Send in the top 10 items on Dumbledore’s will.
  • Dumbledore/Norris Facts.
  • Voicemails concerning Home-schooling, Lily’s Eyes, and Fawkes.
  • Dating Service update.
  • The winner of last week’s song contest.

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Running time: 1:00:42, 28.1 MB

Transcript 055

MuggleCast 55 Transcript

Show Intro

Andrew [Show Intro with music in background]: Because I screwed up last week
calling Episode 54 “Episode 55,” this is MuggleCast Episode 54 – but really
55, for September 10th, 2006. Does that make sense?

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[Andrew hums Intro music]

Andrew: Don’t you guys like this music?

Ben: Yeah, it’s excellent. [laughs]

Jamie: It’s very good. It’s very good.

Eric: John Williams at his best, Andrew.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: I think I’m the next Bono.

Jamie: It’s a drunk John Williams recording. He got back after a few drinks
and thought “I’m going to have a quickie on the keyboard.” [laughs]

[Eric laughs]

Jamie: And that came out.

Andrew: Jamie, we don’t appreciate that kind of language on here.

Eric: Yeah, especially – well, you’re half way there, Andrew.

Jamie: What, “keyboard”?

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: “Keyboard” is pretty disgusting, isn’t it? The word

Andrew: Welcome, everyone, to the show, but Ben – what’s up? There’s a lot
of noise going on, here.

Ben: I’m in my library and my Spanish teacher is trying to talk to me right
now while I’m trying to record this.

Andrew: Can you tell her to “shut up-o”, please-o?

Ben [laughs]: No, I can’t do that. They say “cállete.”

Andrew [laughs]: Anyway, to the introductions.

Ben: I’m Ben Schoen.

Eric: I’m Eric Scull.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Andrew: And this is the late – no it’s not the latest. This is the show
where we bring you the latest in Harry Potter news, theories, discussions
and lots of Potter pickles. It’s been catching on, and I couldn’t be more

Ben: And Moundridge High School libraries.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs] Ben, is there no one else – how many people
are in that library? It seems kind of quiet.

Jamie: Andrew, Andrew…

Andrew: What?

Jamie: No one’s in there at all. It’s Ben’s personal school library,
you see.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: Oh! [laughs] I see.

Jamie: In Moundridge each person gets their own library with a sort of
kitchen, bedroom, a plasma TV, all that kind of stuff. It’s pretty special.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs] Well, actually, actually I’m sitting on a giant, soft, comfy chair, which is very, very comfortable. And – yeah.

Jamie: You get three of those, don’t you, Ben?

Ben: Yeah, three of those, and actually, there’s a kid on the couch laying
down and staring at me right now.

Andrew: Ask him what he thinks of Harry Potter.

Ben [to student on the couch]: Hey, what do you think of Harry

Student: I don’t know.

Ben: He doesn’t know.

Andrew: [laughs] Ask him if he’s on pot, because it certainly sounds
like it.

Ben: [to student on the couch] My friend wants to know if you’re on

Student: No.

Ben: No, he’s not on pot.

Andrew: No? [laughs] Anyway…

Ben: We’ll go around and get more opinions from Moundridge High School
students here in a bit.

Andrew: Ooh! That sounds exciting.

Jamie: Yeah!

Ben: Very exciting.


Andrew: [laughs]: But before we do anything else, Micah Tannenbaum is
in the MuggleCast News Center with the past week’s top Harry Potter news

Micah: Lord Voldemort was voted the number one villain in the
BigBadRead, an online Bloomsbury poll to find the UK’s favorite literary
villain from a children’s book.

Here’s what Jo had to say about this “honor”:

I am thrilled and honored beyond words that Lord Voldemort has been voted
best villain in the Big Bad Read poll. I am not sure how he would react to
knowing that he had won a Muggles’ unpopularity poll. A mixture of pleasure
that you recognized his power and menace, coupled with fury at your nerve at
mentioning his real name, I think. His author, however, is absolutely

MuggleNet staffer Natalie attended the premiere of Driving Lessons starring Rupert Grint and Julie Walters, in London’s Leicester Square. She managed to do a short interview with Rupert Grint, and also spoke briefly to Emma Watson, Julie Walters, and Bonnie Wright. You can check those out over on MuggleNet.com.

Driving Lessons hit theaters Friday in the UK. To coincide with its release,
a tea party was held earlier in Edinburgh. According to the Daily Mirror, JK
Rowling went along to support Rupert.

She tells The Ticket she is half-way through writing the seventh and
possibly final book, but the 41-year-old Scottish author is keeping
tight-lipped over rumors she’s planning to kill off Harry.

“I’m up to about 750 pages now, but I’m not telling anyone what happens to
she says. “I’ve just come along to support Rupert who’s absolutely
terrific in Driving Lessons.”

Just keep in mind The Daily Mirror is a British tabloid, not exactly known for its accurate reporting.

Pope Benedict XVI’s senior exorcist claims the Harry Potter books contain
innumerable positive references to magic, “the satanic art.”

“Behind Harry Potter hides the signature of the king of the darkness, the
devil,” he told Vatican Radio. And according to the Daily Mail newspaper in
London, he added that the books attempt to make a false distinction between
black and white magic, when in fact, the distinction “does not exist,
because magic is always a turn to the devil.”

Yeah, I always find myself going into a hypnotic trance, floating above my
bed, while chanting indecipherable languages after I finished a re-read of
Prisoner of Azkaban, don’t you? You’re a senior exorcist! How about
becoming a lawyer? At least then people will believe what you say 20% of
the time as opposed to 10% of the time. And I hear the pay is better too.

Moving on, a recent interview was conducted with Alec Hopkins, the actor portraying
young Severus Snape in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. He
discusses filming, talking with Alan Rickman, and how he ended up with the

Entertainment Weekly has ranked the fourth Harry Potter film, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, #36 on its list of the best “high school movies” of all time.

That’s all the news for this September 10th, 2006 edition of MuggleCast. Back
to the show.

Andrew: Okay, thank you, Micah.


Andrew: A couple announcements before we move along. T-shirts – MuggleCast
t-shirts. Purchase your t-shirts, k-thanks-bye.

Ben: Yeah, t-shirts.

Andrew: Also, Podcast Alley – don’t forget to vote. It’s a new month.

Don’t forget, boys and girls – Leaky Mug Live in Los Angeles, California on September 28, 7 PM, at the Borders of Westwood in L.A.

Ben: Westwood. Yeah.

Andrew: Yes, it’s going to be a fantastic event. We’re all going to be there. So, come out and support, represent, wear your MuggleCast t-shirts.

Jamie: Say hello.

Andrew: It’s going to be a lot of fun.

Ben: Wear your MuggleCast t-shirt.

Andrew: But, please do RSVP on LeakyMug.com, so we know that you’re coming.

Listener Rebuttal – Sirius and The Mirror

Andrew: Listener Rebuttals this week. Zoe…

Ben: Let me do it. I want to read this one.

Andrew: Okay.

Ben: Our first Listener Rebuttal comes from Zoe MacLeod, 17…

Jamie: McCloud. McCloud.

Ben: McCloud. From Newport Beach, California – right there in the heart of the O.C.

Hey guys! Love the show! Anyway, I was just thinking, maybe Sirius did
have the mirror with him when he fell through the veil but the reason that
Harry couldn’t contact him was because he had the say “Padfoot” instead of
“Sirius Black.” If James and Sirius did make the two-way mirrors, it would
make sense that they would use their nicknames like they did on the
Marauder’s Map. Just wondering what you guys think.

Jamie: Have we got to assume that if he went through the veil with his
mirror, that he’s still alive down there? Sort of bored out of his mind.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah.

Ben: I think he’s down there eating Lucky Charms, you know. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, exactly. Yes, he is, he is.

Eric: Well, he…

Jamie: Andrew’s dad went to…

Ben: The veil? [laughs]

Jamie: The Department of Mysteries and…

Ben: And he threw a few boxes through. [laughs]

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Put his head through, and he’s like “Hey, Sirius, you getting a bit
hungry down there, are ya?” [laughs]

Eric: And then there was that whispering beyond the veil, “Thanks, mate.” But I
think we’ve discerned that it’s not the Killing Curse that hit Sirius when
he fell back into the veil to begin with, because he had time for his eyes to
widen with shock.

Jamie: It’s the hungry characteristic.

Eric: Curiosity characteristic. It’s kind of like “What’s going on?”

[Ben laughs]

Eric: He might still be alive down there just eating Lucky Charms.

Jamie: Eric, you’ve just completely ruined that beautiful moment. When his
eyes widen, by using an over-used Americanized expression, like “Hey, what’s
going on?”

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: Sirius did not think, “Hey, what’s going on?”, trust me.

[Ben laughs]

Eric: Okay, Jamie.

Jamie: Stuff went through his mind like, “Oh my god, I’m never going to see my
godson again. Oh my god, my house! Oh my god, all my friends!” Please don’t
cheapen it by saying that he thought “Hey guys, what’s going on here, dude?”

Eric: Well, no.

[Ben laughs]

Eric: It said that “he had an expression of mixed shock and curiosity on his
face.” “Hey, what’s going on?” seemed to depict that. Well, he could have
also been saying [sings] “I’ve got a peaceful, easy feeling.”

Jamie: I don’t think he thought of singing.

Ben: Thanks, Eric.

Eric: Maybe he just thought that – he said, “This is a particularly
interesting phenomenon that is being observed right now. I wish that I would
not be falling backwards.”

Jamie: But rather forwards? To the great delight of the Ministry of Magic.

Eric: Yes.

Ben: Right. [laughs] Our next Listener Rebuttal…

Andrew: An interesting point though. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Back… We
never really responded to the actual rebuttal.

Jamie: No, we didn’t.

Eric: Well, I think it’s… I don’t think that’s correct, because even though it’s – I think
it would of came with extra instruction if… Sirius would’ve given Harry a
little bit more in the note if he had to say “Padfoot” instead of “Sirius

Andrew: Right.

Ben: Eric makes a fair point.

Eric: Or Harry would go up to it and say “Well, this thing is broken, because
I say ‘Sirius Black’ and it doesn’t show me him.” And then he would throw it and break it.

Andrew: Yeah, but then…

Jamie: But it’s not future – I don’t mean future, I mean it’s not like sort of security proof. That doesn’t make sense. But, you know what I mean? It’s not…

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: Anyone could walk up to it and say, “Sirius Black,” whereas the name “Padfoot” is only known to a few people so…

Ben: That’s true.

Andrew: More secure?

Jamie: It’s like, yeah. It’s more secure.

Eric: Whereas, the Marauder’s Map, you need to specifically say, what? “I solemnly swear I am up to no good.” Do you mean like that kind of secure? Like, it’s not…

Jamie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, kind of. It’s like, if you knew it was Sirius’ then you could just walk up and say, “Sirius Black,” whereas…

Eric: Or…

Jamie: If you said, “Padfoot,” you have to actually think about that.

Eric: Yeah, and if they were the only pair in the world, you could just say, “Other mirror,” and [laughs] it would probably work.

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah, exactly, yeah.

Listener Rebuttal – Availability of The Two-Way Mirror

Andrew: Next rebuttal.

Ben: Our next rebuttal comes from Jimmy Rose. “In your last episode there was some discussion about the commercial availability…”

Andrew: Hold on, wait a second, wait a second. Hold on.

Ben: What?

Andrew: It’s interesting how Ben suddenly wants to do all this reading. I kind of think he’s showing off for the crack addict there.

Jamie: Yeah, exactly. I think he’s…

Ben: Oh yeah, yeah, I’m showing off for the two people…

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: …in the library.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Ben: I’ve done the reading before.

Jamie: Are you charging them both rent, Ben?

Ben: What?

Jamie: Or is it just like – are you charging them both rent in your library? Or…

Ben: [laughs] Yes, I am.

Andrew: He’s charging – he marketed it as a Live Podcast at his school and only two people showed up.

Jamie: Yeah, he did. Yeah.

Ben: I’ve been selling t-shirts all day. Selling…

Andrew: Yeah, okay. [laughs] Anyway…

Ben: Our next listener rebuttal’s from Jimmy Rose.

“In your last episode, there was some discussion about the commercial availability of two-way mirrors. Given what we know about the wizarding world, this seems unlikely to me. In Britain at least, there are two main areas for wizarding commerce – Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade. If you consider what is for sale -or at least what’s mentioned as being for sale in the books – you’ll find that most of it has to do with food, joke items, clothing, animals and broomsticks. We’ve yet to see the wizarding world’s version of The Sharper Image. In fact…”

[Ben and Eric laugh]

Ben: “…we’ve got a lot of evidence that there is a lot of call for convenience items. Take for example the Remembrall. It lets you know that you’ve gotten – that you’ve forgotten something, but gives you no help at all in remembering what was forgotten. If that’s the best way they can…” [laughs] “If that’s the best they can do…”

Jamie: This is poorly read, Ben, I must admit.

Ben: “…for commercially available personal organization…”

Sorry, people keep walking in here and looking at me. [laughs]

“…I find it hard to believe that you’d walk into a store and find something as useful as the two-way mirror.”

Anyways, we know what he’s saying – we know what Jimmy is saying here.

Jamie: I agree, but it could be like a special mail order item that you can only get from a certain – from TwoWayMirrors.com.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Or something like that. It’s like… It could not be a sort of. It could just be like a patented item that only one company sells. Or something like that.

Andrew: [mocking Jamie] Pain-te-ted. Pain-te-ted.

Jamie: Well…

Ben: Patented?

Andrew: Like Linux.

Ben: Linux.

Eric: You know what’s interesting about the Remembralls, is that they were banned from the O.W.L. tests in Book Five, but I find that interesting because they aren’t actually supposed to tell you what you’ve forgotten. Or, like, according to the movie.

Jamie: Yeah. You could have forgotten anything.

Ben: You going to know you’ve forgotten something…

Eric: Why are Remembralls, you know… I mean, unless it’s like… If it’s good on a multiple choice answer where you’re like, “Okay, I think it’s B,” and then it says, “You’ve forgotten the truth,” or something.

Jamie: Because it’s still an aid that stops your thing.

Eric: It is an aid, yeah.

Jamie: But, the thing is, this is also about Felix Felicis. It says it… Slughorn says that it’s a banned thing in competitions, athletic events, so, you can only use it on an ordinary day. But what constitutes an ordinary day? It’s like that, which is why I don’t see how Felix Felicis could possibly ever be allowed, really. Because, who decides if it’s an ordinary day? But, that’s completely gone off on a tangent, so…

Eric: Yeah, I like what…

Jamie: …I think we should get back to Jimmy Rose.

Eric: I like what Jimmy Rose was saying about convenience items and also how the wizards want to impress each other with different gifts and things.

Jamie: Oh yeah, yeah.

Eric: I think that’s cool. But, obviously, a lot of that is also Misuse of Muggle Artifacts, like the Ford Anglia. So…

Jamie: Yeah. But he points out that wizards like to change ordinary items like using unheard of magical spells, that kind of thing, to change them for their own good, like the Marauder’s Map. It’s clearly taken a strong bit of individual personalized magic to make it how it is. And so, the two-way mirrors… I mean, I think they just bought two mirrors…

Andrew: And enchanted them.

Jamie: …from the mirror shop in Hogsmeade, yeah. And enchanted them.

Eric: And I think there are several other rules that they could work with if they wanted to do that. Such as, the rule of seven, which seems to be present, at least to Voldemort and Horcruxes. Seven is a magical number. And also the rule of pairs, as described by Dumbledore.

Tangent: Phone Booths

Jamie: Yeah. Can we just talk about… Jimmy mentions the phonebooks – the phone booth outside of St. Mungo’s.

Eric: Yeah, that’s…

Jamie: Sorry, outside of Purge and Dowse.

Eric: Saint…

Andrew: Ministry of Magic.

Jamie: No, no, no, no.

Eric: It’s Purge and Dowse, yeah.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah, sorry. The Ministry of Magic. No…

Andrew: It’s the Ministry of Magic, isn’t it?

Eric: We should have given Leaky that question.

Jamie: No. It’s the Ministry of Magic, isn’t it?

Eric: Yeah, it’s the Ministry of Magic.

Jamie: Yeah, sorry, yeah.

Eric: The phone booth.

Jamie: It seems… Yeah. This is completely off on a tangent again, but I was just thinking, it seems a bit weird that they choose that thing to get into the Ministry because it’s – one person’s number in the real world has got to end in “MAGIC” or start in “MAGIC.”

Andrew: Yeah, but there are only… Well, that phone – does that phone really work?

Jamie: Yeah. No, yeah.

Ben: No, no. I doubt it actually dials out.

Jamie: Because I would be scared if… I would be scared if I was sitting there, if I was standing in there and I dialed my friend’s number and the phone booth…

[Eric laughs]

Jamie: …went down into the earth. I’d think something was screwing up.

Andrew: Yeah, but it’s just, “MAGIC,” and in the book it’s described that nobody would ever approach it because it’s so worn down.

Eric: There’s like shattered panes of glass.

Andrew: Yeah. It’s…

Ben: You probably have to dial out anyways.

Jamie: There had to be somebody who…

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: What do you mean, you’ve got to dial out?

Ben: Well, sometimes you have to enter a number.

Andrew: Well, if you just dial “MAGIC” and stop, then it’ll…

Jamie: Oh, well. Yeah, but somebody, somebody who’s read the Harry Potter books will probably go there now and…

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Yeah, no. That’s like saying somebody…

Jamie: And dial, “MAGIC.”

Ben: No, that’s like saying somebody would have to be able to stumble on…

Jamie: I’m joking, Benjamin.

Ben: No, no. I’m saying that’s like saying someone could be able to stumble upon Hogwarts. It could have the same anti-Muggle charms that Hogwarts does.

Jamie: Yeah, it could, it could. But there must be some easier way, though, of doing it. Yeah, I mean, it probably does, but still.

Ben: Of course, there is probably some easier way, but that’s the way it is.

Eric: Well, that’s just the Muggle entrance too.

Andrew: Yeah. Deal with it.

Jamie: Yeah. Because, yeah. Let’s just deal with everything. Every single show should just be, “Hi, welcome to MuggleCast. Deal with it.”

Ben: That was hilarious. That’s a real knee-slapper, Jamie.

Jamie: “And that wraps up the show this week. I’m Andrew Sims.”

Andrew: Yeah, I’m on the floor. I’m in tears.

Eric: There’s that British humor.

Jamie: Well, Ben, Ben. Okay, well…

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: At least I don’t think that Sirius… This is going to get you, Eric, but…

[Andrew laughs

Jamie: I don’t need it to only get you. It’s going to get all of you in general…

[Eric laughs]

Jamie: …because your jokes are so obvious. “Hey, guys! And he was like,’ Dude, what’s happenin’ here, man?'” That’s the kind of jokes – obvious stuff.

Eric: That was not a joke!

Ben: That wasn’t a joke.

Jamie: I don’t care! I don’t care! You’re going to take…

Andrew: All right, anyway…

Eric: That was inflection. That was what I thought Sirius would say.

Jamie: Just ’cause you don’t understand the nuances and subtleties of
the British humor, you know?

Ben: That wasn’t even funny, though. Humor means it’s funny.

Jamie: Okay, Ben. Okay, whatever, Ben. Whatever.

Listener Rebuttal – Sirius: Harry, Use The Mirror!

Ben: Our next rebuttal comes from Stacey, 24, from Washington. Once
again, about the two-way mirror:

“I recently read Order of the Phoenix, and something about the mirror stuck me, and I have not been able to get it out of my mind. In Chapter 29 of Order of the Phoenix, Fred and George created diversions …”

[Jamie and Andrew laugh]

Ben: “…so Harry could use Umbridge’s fireplace undetected to contact…” [laughs] “…Sirius and ask him about the ‘Snape’s Worst Memory.’ Why, oh, why didn’t Sirius tell Harry to use the mirror instead of going to all that trouble? Perhaps he didn’t want Lupin to know he’d given a two-way mirror to Harry. But, I think the situation was important enough for Sirius to encourage Harry to use the mirror. But, I suppose if Sirius had told Harry, the rest of the book may not have happened.”

Eric: Yeah, I think this is something where you were reading a little bit too much into it. I just re-read this scene about two days ago, and it was Sirius. It was one of those things where Sirius just didn’t think about it. He was, you know… Harry was in the fire, and whereas Sirius would say, “What are you doing here? You’re risking your neck. Why didn’t you use the mirror?” Where that could have happened, he was basically just, you know, excited to have any contact with Harry. Remember, the kind of person Sirius is. He was very excited, but also very worried, and he just wanted to hear what Harry had to say, so that he could get off and on his way.

Ben: And remember, hindsight is 20/20. I mean, it could have just
been an oversight, you know.

Eric: Yeah, and…

Jamie: Something about the mirror hit her.

Ben: And when Harry hid the mirror, he buried it at the bottom of
his trunk. So, he didn’t want to communicate with Sirius, because he was
worried he was going to get him in trouble, or whatever. So, he decided not to. I just think it was…

Eric: Plus, at the time… Yeah.

Ben: Like, when you’re not in that situation it’s different.

Eric: And Lupin had to run and get Sirius, too. He’s, you know – Harry
came through, saw Lupin.

Ben: Yeah.

Eric: And Lupin just had to run up while Sirius was
feeding Buckbeak, and out of the blue. It’s just one of those things that
slips your mind. The fact is, Harry is in the fire, needs to talk to you,
you know? Do you say, “Why didn’t you use this, it’s much safer”? It just
slipped his mind.

Jamie: Ben, if I make a joke about, “Something about the mirror struck
me, and I’ve not been able to get it out of my head.” If I say, “Oh, it’s a
shard of glass,” or something like that, are you going to be like, “Oh, dude, that’s not funny, man!”

Eric: Why? Well, if it’s not funny…

Ben: If it’s not funny, it’s not funny. Sorry, Jamie.

[Eric laughs]

Ben: Sorry you’re… “Hey, this is MuggleCast. Deal with it, man.”

Jamie: I’ve kind of spoiled it now by… I’ve kind of spoiled… laughs]

Eric: Jamie, yes, you’re British, yes, you’re magical, but if your
joke is not funny, we will not laugh. [laughs]

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: Ok, well, that kind of spoiled it now by asking you if you’d
find it funny, so let’s move on.

Andrew: This is a very dry humor podcast. All right, well, Ben has to
get put of here ’cause, for some reason, he podcasts at school now.

Jamie: He has to get out because…

Eric: He’s kicked out of school for podcasting.

Jamie: No, no, no. The personal libraries are normally 24 hours, but
they’re doing some refurbishments there. So, he’s got to get out.

Eric: Ohhh. Adding in like a hot tub machine, a slushy…

Jamie: Yeah, precisely, yeah.

[Eric and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: A free recording studio, as well, so the sound quality of the
next MuggleCast is going to be amazing.

[Eric laughs]

Main Discussion: Power and Magical Ability

Andrew: Laura and Micah are going to join us a little bit later in the
show, but for now, [clears throat] we do have a main discussion.
Well, just a discussion, for everyone this week. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, it’s… Well, no, I think “just a discussion” is a bit mean. It’s sort of a “mai” discussion, you know? Doesn’t have the “n” on it.

Andrew: It’s a what? It’s a “mai”?

Jamie: It’s a “mai” discussion.

Andrew: Okay. [laughs]

Jamie: It’s almost a discussion. It’s just slightly lacking, you know?

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: [laughs] Slightly lacking?

Jamie: Slightly lacking, yeah. This week, we are going to discuss the difference in power and magical ability between Voldemort and Dumbledore, and every other wizard, witch, and everything. So, we’re going to start with a small intro, and then go on to ask a few questions that we’re going to discuss.

Andrew: ‘kay!

Does Magical Ability Stem From Knowledge?

Jamie: Throughout the series, there have been constant reminders of the difference in power between Voldemort and Dumbledore, and other witches and wizards. References are often made to the incredible powers Voldemort has at his disposal, such as: Peter Pettigrew saying, “There are powers the Dark Lord possesses,” stuff like that, and also that Dumbledore is the only wizard that Voldemort has ever feared. Judging by Dumbledore’s easy defeat of the Death Eaters at the Ministry of Magic, e.g. him casting that rope thing that binds them all together, and his difficult and deadly battle with Voldemort, are we safe to assume that these two wizards are on a par, or close to a par on ability, where they’re miles and miles ahead of other witches and wizards?

And, that is the intro, and our first question – which kind of – it isn’t really answered in the main discussion, but it kind of stems from it. It’s is magical ability, does it stem from people’s knowledge, like in Star Wars? As in your knowledge of the Force? So, Yoda is, you know, sort of the best because he’s so old, and he started the Force, so he knows its nuances and its subtleties, and he can use that to greater ability.

Andrew: I think that certainly stands for Dumbledore because of his age, but, I mean, the last sentence in your opening, though. Wasn’t that a question? “Are we safe to assume that these two wizards…?”

Jamie: Yes, it was. It was. It was. Yeah. We could talk about that.

Andrew: Because I would say, yes. Dumbledore is the most – what’s the wording? Powerful wizard? Most powerful wizard alive?

Jamie: Ummm, yeah.

Eric: I just heard it described that Voldemort was actually the
most powerful. In fact by Dumbledore, I think, himself. Towards the end,
he said that Voldemort… And you know, again this is kind of a question
that, you know, in the beginning of the first book, McGonagall and
Dumbledore sitting on the ledge, and McGonagall says…

Tangent: The Whomping Willow

Jamie: K-I-S-S-I-N-G? [laughs]

Eric: No, that’s in the tree later on.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Eric: But, could they actually bewitch the Whomping Willow to sit in it? I don’t know, anyway.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: You know what? Maybe the Whomping Willow is just tired of being used by Dumbledore and McGonagall. But, anyway.

Jamie: I think it is. It’s just – they spend so much time up there, and thinks, “I just can’t watch this anymore.”

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: It got its name, the “Whomping” Willow, because Dumbledore was
whomping McGonagall. [in high-pitched voice] Ahhh!

Eric: Oooh! That was a good one! Even though it would be really funny.

[Andrew laughs]

Back to Main Discussion: Dumbledore and Voldemort’s Power

Eric: You know, she says that, “you’re too noble to use some powers,”
and he blushes, of course, but in Book 5, Dumbledore actually does say and I think it’s okay for him to admit that Voldemort is… He said specifically, “Not powerful, but his extensive knowledge of magic…”

Jamie: Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah.

Eric: “…covers more than any other wizard, including myself.” And I
think it’s safe to say that Voldemort would at least know more different
kinds than Dumbledore. But, again, Dumbledore holds his own and Dumbledore was easily – well, not easily – but he was able to detect the whole, “cut your wrist, open the door, use the thing across the lake.” He was able to detect the magic, so they’re very obviously close in power.

Jamie: Yeah, though I agree, but I just think that it’s funny – well, not really funny – but how at the Ministry of Magic, Dumbledore just walked in cast one spell and all of the Death Eaters just didn’t have a chance. And with Bellatrix, as well, who’s clearly pretty powerful magically. He just bewitched the Fountain of Magical Brethren and the thing just came after her, and she fired spells uselessly off it’s chest. You know? It just seems like he can do absolutely anything against anyone.

Andrew: So easily.

Eric: Well, he could.

Jamie: Yeah, so easily, whereas it’s just against Voldemort that he has trouble. That battle in the Ministry, I doubt any other wizard could have stood up to that amount of magical power being transferred back and forth.

Eric: Even Harry? You think?

Jamie: In terms of blow on blow, if Harry had dodged it and jumped around and used his mind like he has, then, yes, probably, but I can’t imagine if they had a sort of [laughs] slapping contest for wizards, where you slap the other person in the face and then they slap you and it just keeps happening until you give up. If they did that with wands and spells, I can’t imagine Harry being able to stand up to Voldemort’s or Dumbledore’s things.

Eric: Oh, obviously not.

Jamie: It doesn’t seem like normal spells.

Eric: They aren’t.

Jamie: They don’t only fire stuff… They don’t only fire stuff out of their wands. They bewitch and ensnare, and cause the water to rise up and do stuff like that.

Eric: Yeah.

Jamie: Other people I just don’t think can…

Eric: No. The whole water thing covering Voldemort, like Voldemort enclosed in this case of like water, and even the fact that Voldemort left his physical body to possess Harry. Even the fact that he just jumped out of his body and into Harry’s and his body disappeared completely from the physical plane.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: How can you do that?

Jamie: Well, exactly.

Eric: And that’s what makes the battle so cool to see. Sorry, Andrew.

Andrew: And yet, in the Ministry, he continued to be disregarded as this mad man who just had no influence in the Ministry of Magic.

Eric: Oh, yeah.

Andrew: It’s very sad.

Eric: Well, that’s the question, if Dumbledore ran things, you know. If Dumbledore was Minister of Magic, but he would never want that. He just wanted to teach students.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah, precisely.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Teaching students and governing the already grown-up public are two separate choices, I think, for your life.

Jamie: But don’t you think that going back to Voldemort’s power especially, the Aurors are supposed to catch dark wizards. I just don’t think you can call Voldemort simply a dark wizard.

Eric: Because he’s a Dark Lord.

Jamie: He’s not only a dark wizard. Yeah, exactly. The Aurors are impressive and stuff, but if Dumbledore can curse Dawlish, and I’m not going to say it.

Andrew: Yeah, thank you.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: You just did. You’ve given it enough to John.

Jamie: [laughs] I’m going to say it as quickly as possible. Quickly as possible. If Dumbledore can curse Dawlish so easily with no effort whatsoever, and he’s got Outstanding in every single N.E.W.T. he’s ever taken…

Eric: Exactly.

Jamie: …and along with five other people at the same time before or however many people it was, how can Dawlish have any chance of catching Voldemort? It’s just inconceivable.

Eric: That’s why it is, but that’s the thing. They should’ve used Dumbledore. They should’ve… Now I bet they’re kicking themselves in the butt because Dumbledore was so powerful.

Jamie: Don’t you think, also, that Book Six especially, Dumbledore’s mental and physical decline, I think, is showing. That while he could exchange blow on blow with Voldemort for awhile, Voldemort is more powerful than him overall.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: I think if they… In Book Six, if it came down to a duel, Voldemort would win. And I think that’s putting everything on Harry. Absolutely everything on Harry.

Eric: Yes, but I think that also goes to say that, why then, is it exactly a bad thing that Dumbledore died, anyway? Because, if he…

Jamie: Well, precisely, yeah.

Eric: He obviously was declining. Whether that was, I guess power, and if you remember age is kind of a factor.

Jamie: Oh, yeah.

Eric: It’s got to be. You know…

Andrew: Definitely, in Book Six, played a role.

Eric: The soul would, of course, be an advantage Dumbledore had over Voldemort. Dumbledore told Harry that he only suspected one wizard or any wizard, or all wizards in general, of only having one Horcrux, which we can kind of infer is Grindelwald, but nobody knows. But he said the most he thinks any wizard had of Horcruxes was one. Obviously, that says a great… How did Voldemort acquire that knowledge of how to do that, not just once, but six times? Maybe he talked to the guy who did it the first time, but for the term to even exist, you’d think that enough people would…

Jamie: So, how’s your Horcrux?

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: But, it’s just… Yeah, yeah, yeah. I agree.

Eric: Yeah.

Jamie: Amen. I concur. But, I just… It just seems that the reason for Dumbledore’s death was that he couldn’t teach Harry anything more. He taught him everything he knew, and since he couldn’t take on Voldemort for him, you know?

Eric: Mhm.

Eric: There wasn’t anything left for him, apart from to die. It sounds terrible but, apart for him to die and infuriate Harry even more so that he’s going to go and kick Voldemort’s butt, man.

Eric: Yeah. Well, he could of told Harry how he, kind of, burned his hand off. So, I don’t think we’re talking exactly about the second part of this, as in comparison to other wizards. We’ve talked about them to each other.

Jamie: Don’t you think that he could, both of them… All of the Death Eaters are scared of Voldemort, so clearly he has weapons that they can’t even comprehend.

Eric: Oh yeah.

Jamie: It just seems like that he has everything that everyone else, you know? I mean like even people, obviously, respect him, as well. Like Ollivander said, he did terrible things.

Eric: But great.

Jamie: Sorry, great things but terrible, yes. Awful, but great things. He’s so powerful. People respect power, even if it’s terrible power and the same with Dumbledore. Everyone respected him. Hogwarts was safe because Dumbledore was there, you know? And if Voldemort feared Dumbledore, you can’t disagree with Voldemort, who hates being weak, who hates weakness, who hates being scared of other things. If he personally feared Dumbledore, then what does that say about Dumbledore, you know?

Eric: Mhm. Well that’s true, too, but that’s just the thing. Again, that’s why it’s so fun to watch the battle in Book Five, because Voldemort just comes up with some kind of weird sounding talisman reverberation thing and Dumbledore counters it with some kind of…

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: …shield of unknown…

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: …presence that makes a gong…

Jamie: Shields of Glory. [laughs]

Eric: Yeah, well it was a gong sound. Remember that. It was like a…

Jamie: That was Voldemort’s shield. That was Voldemort’s shield.

Eric: Yes, but that was amazing. It was like a strange gong humming as in response to Dumbledore’s…

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: But then, it’s just…

Jamie: What spell did he cast then, if he didn’t seek to kill him there? After Voldemort could tell from that.

Eric: I know, isn’t that the coolest question in the world? Because Voldemort…

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: …immediately said, after he reflected that spell, “You wish not to kill me, Dumbledore?”

Jamie: Yeah, “You didn’t seek to kill me?”

Eric: And of course they got into their, “You do not know that there are worst things than death,” and stuff like that. But Voldemort knew exactly – he must have known exactly what that spell was going to do to him, even though…

Jamie: Yeah, he did. Yeah.

Eric: …Dumbledore didn’t open his mouth.

Jamie: I just can’t think what kind of spell that could possibly have been.

Eric: And how do you acquire that knowledge of what, you know, with the gong’s sound it means it was this charm, you know, it was this spell?

Jamie: Yeah, exactly.

Eric: It’s just unbelievable.

Jamie: He clearly sort of read music by ear so, you know, each spell makes a different sound and then he just hears it and, you know, knows from there.

Eric: [laughs] What do you guys think of Dumbledore as a Legilimens? Because here was a question in Book Five about Dumbledore teaching him himself. Like, it was tossed around, except for, obviously, the fact that, you know, Harry would, upon looking at Dumbledore, explode into flames, but [laughs] he said, “I didn’t teach him myself because I didn’t want to reveal anything to Voldemort.” And stuff. But Dumbledore as a Legilimens seems kind of cool. And…

Jamie: He’s clearly amazing, though, because he’s amazing at everything. [laughs]

Eric: Oh, he’s amazing at everything. I think he got, what, perfect scores in Transfiguration and Charms or something.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: They were like perfect N.E.W.T.S.

Jamie: He did stuff with a wand that was never seen before or something.

Eric: Oh yeah, Tofty, right. Tofty said that, yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: “Stuff with a wand I’d never seen before.” Things like that. It makes you think like it’s not an acquirable knowledge. It makes it seem like it just…

Jamie: It’s just Dumbledore, it’s unnatural.

Eric: Like nobody can just do things with their wand like that, and that was when Dumbledore was at Hogwarts, when he was 17 years old. Here he is 150.

Jamie: Maybe it’s like, sort of, you know, Polymaths from the Renaissance period. It’s like the wizarding equivalent. They’re like. They’re just…. Once in a while a wizard, who comes along, who excels in absolutely everything and is ridiculously powerful magically. Like, I bet the Four Founders of Hogwarts were miles ahead of…

Eric: That’s the other thing I wanted to bring up.

Jamie: …other wizards their age.

Andrew: Oh yeah.

Jamie: It just seems like that to me.

Connection to the Founders

Eric: Well, Voldemort, having Slytherin’s blood in him.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: Again the pureblood thing is supposed to, you know, inbreeding, on the whole, is supposed to affect genetics and things like that, make people…

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: …more maniacal and evil and stuff like that, but, the power, at least, or the richness, I mean, if we’re to think Dumbledore is any kind of descendent of Gryffindor or something else, that could have a play in it, too. So, maybe blood does matter in, like, the slightest of ways…

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: …where you may be a little bit more susceptible to things, but were the Four Founders all pureblood, though? I mean, do we know that?

Jamie: No.

Eric: But it’s kind of implied by the whole Slytherin connection that, at least, well, Slytherin must have been pureblood.

Jamie: Well, yeah, yeah.

Eric: But where does that… I don’t know where that starts.

Magical Knowledge vs. Power

Jamie: But then in relation to other witches and wizards, do you think that they are?

Eric: They are what?

Jamie: Miles ahead? Miles ahead of them? They could beat anyone.

Andrew: The Heads of Houses are miles ahead?

Jamie: No, no, no, no, no. Voldemort and Dumbledore.

Andrew: Oh.

Jamie: Do you think that, I mean, it’s like Chess Masters, you know; they can beat every single chess player in a club. Or then Chess Grandmasters can beat every single Chess Master and stuff like that, you know? I just think that they’re absolutely ahead of everyone and in duels they, you know? It just seems like

Andrew: I don’t know about light years. What do you mean, exactly? Just ahead in knowledge or skill? Because isn’t the knowledge…

Jamie: For Both. Everything.

Andrew: …that they have in common?

Jamie: No, but I mean, okay. If Dumbledore and Voldemort had a… If there was a competition where every single person dueled and it was like a knockout thing so, if you lost, you went home. I think Voldemort and Dumbledore would be facing each other in the final battle.

Andrew: Oh yeah.

Jamie: However many people came into it. It’s just like beating absolutely everyone.

Andrew: I definitely agree, skill-wise, but I don’t know about knowledge because, it seems like it would be like Horcruxes, for example.

Eric: They’re not common knowledge.

Jamie: No but, Voldemort didn’t want that memory to learn about Horcruxes. He wanted it to learn about what Slughorn told Voldemort about Horcruxes. There’s a difference. It isn’t though he didn’t know about Horcruxes. And in the first chapter of Book Six when Fudge says that, sorry, the Muggle Prime Minister asks, “Is he back?” and Fudge says, “I don’t know, and Dumbledore won’t explain it properly.”

[Eric laughs]

Jamie: It’s like Dumbledore is the only person who…

Eric: Understands it.

Jamie: …understands it. You know? And it just seems like, in terms of power…

Eric: There was…

Jamie: …in terms of knowledge, that he’s ahead of everyone.

Eric: There was something else he said, too. I think he was explaining to Harry – it’s at the end of Book Five after Sirius’ death, in his office. He explains to Harry, he says that the enchantment placed on Privet Drive is of an ancient magic that, obviously, Voldemort underestimates, or hates and, therefore, underestimates, but he also says that, “I think that I found a connection or a way to protect you that…”

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: “…maybe no other wizard has.”

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: He said something along the lines of where, “I’m the only one who really knows how to do this particular kind of thing, so I did…”

Jamie: Yes. Yeah.

Eric: “…because I invest faith in my own intelligence.”

Jamie: Also, I assume we should assume that the two Fidelius Charms. Sorry, not the two. The Fidelius Charm that was used with the Secret Keeper was performed by Dumbledore? Because Flitwick says in Prisoner of Azkaban, that it’s an immensely complex spell.

Andrew: Ohhh.

Jamie: And I think when he says it’s an immensely complex spell, it’s sort of, it really is immensely complex. It’s not just like, brewing a Draught of Living Death, which is damn hard, but not, you know, impossible.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah.

Jamie: It really is only some of the most difficult things in the world. I bet Dumbledore conjured that.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: One question is, what it entails? Obviously, it’s a little more than a “swish and flick.” It’s even more than a Patronus…

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: …thinking of a happy thought.

Jamie: Oh ten… A mill… Yeah, but this is the thing; I think it’s like a million times more than a Patronus or Fidelius…

Eric: But what other ways are there? What could you possibly… Do you need to empty your mind, or do you need to be in a state of meditation when you create things like that?

Jamie: Ask Dumbledore.

Eric: Ask Dumbledore? I can’t. Unfortunately…

Jamie: Oh wait, he’s dead.

Andrew: He’s dead. [laughs]

Jamie: I think we’ve pretty much agreed that Dumbledore and Voldemort are ridiculously, ridiculously powerful or, sorry, to correct myself there, Voldemort is ridiculously, ridiculously powerful; Dumbledore was ridiculously, ridiculously powerful.

[Eric mumbles something]

Jamie: And that they… Sorry, yeah, yeah. And that they could beat any person in a duel, and that people look up to them and respect them and admire them…

Eric: That would be good.

Jamie: …even Voldemort.

Eric: I mean… Sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt you.

Jamie: Go on. I thought we were wrapping this up

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Oh, well. I… But a final thought, if I may. The… One of the things I think about
Dumbledore, too, is potentially the reason he might know as much is because, well, a) he seeks it, but things like, I just thought of the scene by the lake with the Merpeople, when Dumbledore was speaking Mermish. You know, I’m not saying there aren’t institutions that may teach you Mermish, but Dumbledore’s the kind of person like that who would care and who would seek to…

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Eric: …communicate with the residents of obviously the lake where his school is.

Jamie: So it’s diplomacy, as well as…

Eric: I think good diplomacy is…

Jamie: …magical ability. Eric, I am going to put you on the spot here and ask you a question. Quite a difficult one. What is the name of the leader of the Mermaids, sorry, the Merpeople in the lake.

Eric: I do not know. Wait, wait, wait…

Jamie: Andrew do you know?

Andrew: Nooo.

Eric: Wait, wait, wait.

Jamie: No, Googling it, Eric.

Eric: No, I’m not Googling it…

Jamie: You naughty, naughty, naughty boy.

Eric: You would hear my naughty, naughty, naughty fingers typing the naughty, naughty, naughty keys.

Jamie: Okay.

Eric: Ummm…

Jamie: Good then, that’s fine.

Eric: I… I… I…

Jamie: Shall I tell you?

Eric: I know it’s got some kind of a – what’s that called?

Jamie: Word in it? Yeah, it’s pretty good.

Eric: The “ch,” “gh,” type sounds. What are they? “Ch,” “ck”.

Jamie: [sounds out different combinations of letters] “Gchs”? “Chs”? “Ghs”?

Eric: It – not “chs”, but also “sh,” the actual groupings of…

Jamie: I’ll tell you. Shall I tell you?

Eric: Alright…

Jamie: It’s Merf… Sorry, Merchieftainess Murcus.

Eric: Is that actually in the book?

Jamie: It is.

Eric: What page?

Jamie: I don’t know!

[Eric and Jamie laugh]

Eric: Oooh, PWNed! All right.

Crackpot Theory of the Week: Voldemort’s Wand is a Horcrux

Andrew: It’s time for another installment of the Crackpot Theory of the Week. We’ve gotten lots of…

[Jamie hums a tune]

Andrew: Oooh, I like that music.

Eric: I like that, too.

Andrew: Someone make a remix out of that. [laughs]

Jamie: It’s kind of Layla. It’s kind of… Not… Yeah, yeah.

Eric: [hums Layla]

Jamie: Layla by Clapton. [hums Layla]

Andrew: Mmmm. Yeah.

Jamie: It’s not actually, at all. I’ve just decided it. Sorry.

Andrew: Oh. [laughs] I just pretended like I knew it, so…

Eric: [singing to the tune of Layla]

Crackpot, you’ve got me on my knees. Crackpot…

Jamie: It’s “Ley.” It’s “l-e-y.” There’s not “la” on this one, though.

Andrew: Okay, I guess that’s it. [laughs] Go ahead. Go for it Jamie.

Jamie: Okay, this is from Scott, 16, from Australia. And, Eric, this is your Crackpot Theory of the Week. [speaks very fast] The final Horcrux is Voldemort’s wand. Go.

[Long pause]

Eric: Okay…

Andrew: [laughs] Go!

Jamie: [laughs] Go!

Eric: Where is Voldemort’s wand? Where has it been? How did he get it back? There is only one explanation for this, and this is it: Voldemort’s wand is actually a Horcrux. He preserved himself inside it, and it has the ability to skitter across the floors and through the pages of all seven books or rather the first four or five books, and that is how Voldemort retrieved it. Nobody was able to find it because, well, the Voldemort inside of it just moved the wand slightly away from everybody, so that once he was destroyed it was not buried amongst the rubble, and throughout time it was just seen in the corners of the HP universe, just browsing and viewing what was going on. So that, by the time that Voldemort regained control of his wand, it would then be able to supply him with the knowledge and experience of… [long pause] I don’t know maybe it’s hanging out with Trevor in the Chamber of Secrets, I really don’t know.

[Another long pause]

Andrew: Okay.

Jamie: Not bad Eric, not bad at all.

Andrew: Yeah, that wasn’t bad.

Eric: [makes uncertain noise] Ahhhh…

Jamie: It’s getting better.

Eric: I’m still tweaking, tweaking some things. Could we possibly do another one? I know it’s a little bit much to ask, but…

Jamie: Yes, yes go on.

Eric: I love these so much. There’s so many people, I got ten or twenty of them.

Andrew: There’s just so many people. It’s not my fault it sucks.

Eric: [laughs] What?

Andrew: Ahhh. What do you think of that one?

Jamie: Errr, I immediately think of a point that is of… One sec, I’ll type it to you.

Andrew: Let me read the points that Scott brought up. Voldemort who values his magical prowess above all else would consider his wand almost part of him, a sensible place to keep a part of his soul, as he will always have it with him. Another point, his wand managed to survive the explosion that wrecked Godric’s Hollow. Normal wood would have been burned to cinders. This could mean his wand is protected. And the final point…

Jamie: Oooh yeah.

Andrew: Wizards are very attached to their wands. Cedric polished his [mispronounces] regularly, [enunciates] regularly.

Eric: [laughs] I bet he did.

Andrew: Harry says he is fond of his wand, and that it can’t help being related to Voldemort via its core. His wand connects him to the magical world: the locket, the diary and the ring connect him to Slytherin, etcetera.

Eric: Hmmm. I had not thought about the wand connecting him to the wizarding world. I think that’s cool.

Jamie: Eric, are you ready for your next one?

Eric: Yes.

Crackpot Theory of the Week: Scrimgeour – Descendant of Gryffindor

Jamie: Okay this one is from Alex, 15, from Indiana. And, Eric, this is your Crackpot Theory of the Week.

Andrew: Dun dun dun…

Jamie: Rufus…

Andrew: Oops. I’m, I’m sorry! It’s ruined. It’s ruined!

[Eric hums the tune of Layla]

Jamie: It’s ruined! No, its fine, it’s fine. We’ll do it again.

Andrew: Okay.

Jamie: And…

Eric: [sings to the tune of “Layla”] Got me on my knees, crackpot

Jamie: Eric, Eric. This is your Crackpot Theory of the Week.

Andrew: [sings] Dodolo dodolo dodolo dodolo doom.

[Eric laughs]

Jamie: Rufus Scrimgeour, the new Minister of Magic, is a descendant of Godric Gryffindor and will play a key role in Book Seven.

Eric: Ah, the lion.

[Andrew begins to hum softly in the background]

Eric: He’s described as being as…

Andrew: We need Millionaire music for this.

Jamie: Don’t, don’t…

Eric: You know, Regis is…

Jamie: You’re just giving him time to think.

Eric: You know Regis is no longer… Regis is no longer doing that show.

Andrew: Stalling, minus five.

Eric: I am not stalling. Okay! His lion face. Isn’t he described as having a face like a lion? I mean, come on.

Jamie: By who, by who, by who? Who said that?

Eric: Oh!

Jamie: Come on, Eric.

Eric: Oooh! Aaah! It’s…

Jamie: First chapter of Half-Blood Prince, come on.

Eric: Half-Blood Prince. Well it was…

Jamie: Come on boy! Come on.

[Eric begins to make pained noises]

Jamie: You’re useless. You’re useless, you’re a disgrace.

Eric: I don’t know. [Starts to scream] I can’t take it!

Jamie: You’ve failed! You’ve failed at life. Kill yourself!

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Harry?

Jamie: Is Harry in the first chapter of Half-Blood Prince, Eric?

Eric: Oh, oh, oh! Yes!

Jamie: You call yourself a fan? You call yourself a fan?

Andrew: That’s despicable.

Eric: Oh, it’s the other minister.

Jamie: Yes. Who is it?

Eric: Oh, well it’s…

Jamie: Tony Blair?

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: It’s not Tony Blair, because…

Andrew: He’s quitting. Who cares?

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: According to the Lexicon… He’s quitting?

Jamie: He is.

Andrew: Well…

Jamie: Well, he will be soon. Stop stalling, Eric.

Eric: Okay, so the face like a lion. The other minister thinks he has a face like a lion, come on! He’s a descendant of Godric Gryffindor that’s all there is to it! In fact, he might be Godric Gryffindor. In fact, I might even…

Jamie: Repetition! Minus fifteen!

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Eric: No. In fact is not repetition. In fact, he might even be Aslan from the Narnia series. You never know. Anything is possible. But a guy with a lion of a face…

Jamie: Non-relevance! Minus twenty!

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Eric: I don’t think it’s a question. He has got a lion for a face, and he goes around, and he governs people and he governs the magical world. And realizes what an asset Harry is.

Jamie: That was good.

Eric: Okay. Were there any other points that he brought up? She brought up? He, she. He, it.

Jamie: [yawns] No, she didn’t bring any up.

Andrew: All right well, if you’ve got a Crackpot Theory Of The Week for Eric that you want him to answer on the show, send it in to mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com. It has to be… He has to be able to prove it in some way, shape, or form. Send in your points so we can read them on the show once he’s done. You know the drill, you know how it rolls. So, that’s that.

Eric: Oh my gosh. Can both of those actually go in? I thought that was really…

Andrew: Yes, Eric.

Eric: I… I… I…

Andrew: Yes.

Eric: Thank you. I really liked that.

Eric: Ummm…

Andrew: Ummm…

[Eric laughs]

Eric’s Vacation

Andrew: We’re now going to head into an Editorial Segment hosted by Laura and Micah. Eric, this is – and then Eric, you’re getting out of here and you’ll be gone for three weeks? Four weeks?

Eric: Well, I can be on the show if it’s absolutely necessary, if you’re short of people, if you only have you and Ben one night, I can do it.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: It’ll be like 11:00 AM on a Thursday, which we’ll be doing nothing except sleeping. So I can be, but it’s… I don’t need to be. [laughs] I don’t need to be on. But, yeah, I’ll be gone. Well, two weeks actually, the 24th. And then obviously the 24th I’m meeting up with you guys. So, we’ll be together for – with the LIVE podcast and everything else. Hope the rest of the episode goes well tonight.

Jamie: All right, Eric.

Andrew: Have fun in New Zealand.

Eric: Thank you.

Jamie: Yep.

Eric: And, uh, bye-bye!

Andrew: And we’ll take it right now to an Editorial segment by Laura and Micah. Take it away, girls. And Micah. No, just girls.

[Jamie and Andrew laugh]

Jamie: Just girl and Micah.

Editorial Segment: Brandon Ford, The Underground Lake

Laura: Hey everyone, the Editorial Segment is back. Yay! [claps] Say “yay,” everyone. Come on. Yay.

Micah: Yay.

Brandon: Yay.

Laura: I love the enthusiasm. Okay.

[Brandon and Micah laugh]

Laura: And to celebrate, joining us – joining Micah Tan The Anchor Man (as I like to call him) and I this week is Brandon Ford, author of The Underground Lake. Welcome back, Brandon.

Brandon: Hello. Thank you for having me back.

Laura: Oh, it’s no problem. We had a great time with you the first time, and you were actually the first editorialist we had on this segment, right?

Brandon: Yes, I feel very honored.

Laura: Yes. The Underground Lake has been on hiatus for a while now, but it’s back, great as ever. So Brandon, why don’t you give us a little bit of a synopsis on your latest piece?

Brandon: My last editorial was called “Where in the World is Wormtail?” Basically, after reading Book Six I was very frustrated, because I had predicted after reading Book Five that Wormtail was up to something which is why he was gone the whole book. And in Book Six, he still really didn’t do anything; he was just sort of living with Snape in what I call the “new millennium odd couple,” which was very strange to me. And he didn’t really do anything but serve wine and eavesdrop on people. So, I was trying to still think what could he possibly still be up to, so that was sort of my little introduction back into the world of editorial writing regularly, once again.

Laura: So, now, according to your editorial, who is it that Voldemort doesn’t trust? Snape, Wormtail, or both?

Brandon: Both, but I think right now he is kind of playing both sides against the middle; that essentially their living with each other because one is supposed to be spying on the other one. But I think ultimately the real choice of Voldemort is that Wormtail is living there to spy on Snape, to make sure he really is playing for the right team.

Micah: Yeah, I thought this was interesting because this came up on an episode of MuggleCast. We were talking about this, and most people would assume that Snape is keeping an eye on Wormtail, because that’s in fact what he says in the book, but I think when you think about it, it makes a lot more sense for Wormtail to be spying on Snape.

Brandon: Yeah. I definitely agreed with that. Which is why – it came out of trying to figure out what in the world Wormtail was doing living with Snape. And to me, that just makes the most sense.

Laura: So, we know that Wormtail is obviously a drifter, kind of seeking the stronger side of the war. Do you think Snape is like this too, or do you think that he actually has an alliance? Do you think he’s actually playing the role of spy, or do you think he’s playing both sides to his own advantage?

Brandon: For the longest time I thought he was what I called a triple agent, which is he was just out for himself, he wasn’t really playing both sides. I don’t really want to answer that question because my next editorial is actually the answer to that question.

Laura: Ahhh.

Brandon: [laughs] So, I am just going to leave you with that. But, I do think he does have something rather secretive up his sleeve.

Micah: But I guess, going off of that, your editorial – you sort of started out taking a look at where Wormtail was, but then you didn’t really answer it. Is that going to come up in the next editorial too?

Brandon: No. When I titled it “Where in the World is Wormtail?” at first it was – I mean, obviously geographically we know where he is; he’s living in Snape’s old house. But, I think more what I meant was, “What has he been up to since Book Four?”, really. I guess one of the reasons that I didn’t really go as much into what I thought he was doing, is because a lot of the wind was knocked out of my sails after reading Book Six because, essentially, JK Rowling answered the question; that he’s been living with Snape. And I wasn’t really satisfied with that, so I really wanted to go more into what – the fact that it has more to do with Snape and less to do with Wormtail, right now. However, I do still hope that there is something going on with him, that there is some secret plan that only he and Voldemort know about. But I’m not going to hold my breath for that one.

Micah: Now, do you think Wormtail is planning to help Harry in any way? Will he help him at all? And if he does…

Brandon: Yeah, I had been thinking about that because, of course, what Dumbledore said about how Wormtail now owes Harry, because Harry didn’t let Lupin and Sirius kill him. And, I thought, like a lot of people did, that it would come down to the end and that he would sacrifice himself for Harry. But then, for a while I started to think about, you know, the obvious Lord of the Rings parodies, where Gandalf says Gollum is going to rule the fates of many and all that stuff, but then in the end it’s not a good way that he rules the fates of many. It’s actually quite a horrible way that he rules the fates of many. So, I started to think maybe it’s possible that Wormtail, in his greed, or in his evil, would do something, and that would lead to a chain of events where it would end up helping Harry, even though he isn’t purposely helping Harry, per se. But in the end I feel like, knowing JK Rowling, he’ll probably do something in the end that will help Harry.

Laura: Earlier you were talking a little bit about how Book Six took some of the wind out of your sails. Did Jo’s reading in New York City interfere with any of your theories?

Brandon: Actually, no. When I was asked to come back, I went on MuggleNet and looked at the transcripts and the reports of what she said in New York City, and really she didn’t. In fact, she kind of gave a little more fire to a theory that I had before, that I thought she’d debunked, that now I kind of have again which is about Petunia and how, in Book Seven, whatever her big secret is, is going to be revealed. I had – and I think we discussed this the last time I was on – that I had the theory that she was a closet broomstick.

[Micah and Laura laugh]

Brandon: And that she might have magical powers, or something, and JK Rowling in one of her interviews since then said that she’s not a Squib, and she doesn’t have powers and things. But then, in the New York chat, she mentions that there is some huge secret that she has that’s going to be revealed, and I think one point that I did mention in that article about how she maybe kept the original letter that Dumbledore gave her, or that she has something of Harry’s parents’ or in the end, ultimately, she really does have a soul and she’s just not some evil word that I probably shouldn’t say. And, yeah, I’m just… I think that it really is going to come down to her being revealed as not such a horrible person after all, hopefully.

Micah: So, you were very satisfied when she clearly stated that Dumbledore was dead.

Brandon: Yes, extremely.

[Laura laughs]

Brandon: That was sweet vindication. That was sweet vindication.

Laura: I know exactly how you feel. [laughs]

Brandon: I have gotten so many emails from people, saying “Dumbledore’s not dead, just like Sirius isn’t dead.”

[Laura groans]

Brandon: I’ve even gotten a few, “Cedric isn’t really dead,” which is really stupid.

[Laura laughs]

Brandon: But, you know, I’m just glad that she said, categorically, “Dumbledore is dead. Deal with it, people.” And it does make me a little happy inside.

Micah: Now, what about the whole possibility of redemption? Because that was something else somebody asked. Possibly for Draco, possibly for Snape.

Brandon: As far as redemption for those two characters, once again, actually, the redemption of Snape goes into my next editorial, and the possible redemption for Draco goes into the one that I’m writing after that.

Micah: Okay.

Brandon: But I can say that my feeling about, as far as Snape being redeemed is – my problem is, at the end of the day, regardless of what team he’s playing for, he is the one who murdered Dumbledore. And there’s sort of no turning back from that. He can’t exactly walk up to the Order and say, “Oh, it was all arranged, it was all a plan,” because if he goes to the Order they’re just going to kill him. So, I don’t know. Whatever he does, he can only be redeemed really in the eyes of Harry. In the eyes of the world, he will always be the man who killed Dumbledore and no amount of explaining and no amount of intrigue is going to change that fact. So, his redemption is going to be on a different level than, “Oh, he’s really good after all. Let’s all hug and shake hands and call it a day.”

As for Draco, Harry has, more or less, not necessarily forgiven Draco, but acknowledged the fact that he doesn’t think that Draco ever would have killed Dumbledore, so he actually pities him. And I’m on that train too. Whether Draco can come back to the side of good, I don’t know. He might be motivated for the love of his parents, and trying to protect them, to ultimately make the right decision. But, something else that I’ve always said is that Draco may not have killed Dumbledore, he may not have pulled the trigger, but he bought the gun, loaded it and cocked it, so there is a level of guilt in there as well. The short answer is: I don’t know.

Micah: Right. And I think when that question was asked, she tended to favor Draco a little bit more when she was talking about redemption. At least, that’s the impression I got from her answer.

Laura: Yeah, that’s what I thought. Absolutely.

Brandon: Yeah. I do think that if any of the two of them was going to be redeemed, my money’s on Draco over Snape.

Laura: Mhm.

Brandon: But time will tell.

Micah: Now, the preview for your next article is called “What If We’re Wrong?” And my question is, what if we’re wrong about what?

Brandon: What if we’re wrong about Snape actually being a good guy?

Laura: Oh, no. [laughs]

Brandon: I’m going to sort of give you what I pretty much put in the introduction to it. As soon as I read the book the first time, I was immediately on the, “Oh, I trust him even more now that he killed Dumbledore, because he did it because he had to,” and all this stuff. But after – when I was doing research for “Where in the World is Wormtail?” I read “Spinner’s End,” and something really did not sit well with me when Snape was giving his answers to all of the questions that Bellatrix kept asking him. And it got me thinking: what if everybody’s wrong? What if he really isn’t good? What if everything he told Bellatrix was the truth? That he did all that stuff because he’s on Voldemort’s side. And it’s just sort of… And the subtitle is “A Trip to the Bizarre World.” It’s just sort of, what if we look at everything that’s happened in the books from the point of view that he was telling the truth, and he really is a bad guy. What does that ultimately mean for Harry, and what does that mean for us as readers who have believed him for the past six books, and it turns out he really was evil the whole time?

Micah: I think that JK Rowling has just trained us so well to second guess everything, so that when we saw Dumbledore actually…

Brandon: I know.

Laura: She really has.

Micah: …murdered, you automatically thought, “Oh, there has to be something else to this,” and I’m sure there is, but we may be looking a little bit too far into it. So, it’ll be interesting to read that.

Laura: Yeah.

Brandon: Mhm.

Laura: Some of us thought he was alive, didn’t we, Micah?

Brandon: [laughs] Yes.

Micah: Yeah, I don’t know who.

[Laura and Brandon laugh]

Micah: Some site, actually.

Laura: [still laughing] Well, that all sounds insanely interesting, and I think that everybody’s pretty much really looking forward to reading that one, but we’re running out of time, so we need to get into our lightning round, which…

Brandon: All right.

Laura: …I don’t think you got to do that, because we premiered that after your debut on this segment.

Brandon: Yeah.

Laura: So, first question, did Snape love Lily?

Brandon: I believe so, yes.

Micah: Okay, I’ll take the next one.

Laura: Yeah.

Micah: At Radio City Music Hall, did Jo slip up and reveal that the trio will survive the war, or are people reading too much into it?

Brandon: Well, I believe that Ron and Hermione will be surviving. I’ve always been in the “I think Harry’s going to die” group, but I don’t think she slipped up and revealed that. I did she did slip up and reveal that Ron and Hermione were probably going to survive, because I think they are.

Laura: Who else was at Godric’s Hollow the night the Potters were killed?

Brandon: I always maintain that I think Peter Pettigrew was there with Voldemort in the house, so I’m probably going to stick with that.

Micah: That’s your whole “Last Day Theory,” isn’t it?

Brandon: Yes, it is. No, Fudge was not there.

[Micah laughs]

Brandon: I can see that that actually did not happen, now that I’ve read Book Six…

[Laura laughs]

Brandon: …but, yeah, I think he was there.

Micah: And in that Richard and Judy interview, she said that she spared one recently when she was writing Book Seven. Who do you think that was?

Brandon: [laughs] Once again, you’re getting into an editorial that I’ve just started writing, too. Who do I think is spared, is Lupin.

Laura: Really? Why is that?

Brandon: Well, I always had down that I thought all of the Marauders had to die, just because I think that that piece of Harry Potter history had to be closed. Because I believe Wormtail is going to die, and I believe that Lupin has to die so that all four of them can and that, basically, the whole set has to die. But now, after Book Six and Lupin’s hopeful relationship with Tonks, and other things, I kind of think he might – I think he might be the one who’s spared.

Laura: And who do you think are the two people that are going to die in the place of the character who got the reprieve?

Brandon: I’ve been thinking about that one a lot lately, and I’m not entirely sure about one. I think, unfortunately, Hagrid probably has to go.

Laura: [in distress] Oooh.

[Micah laughs]

Brandon: I don’t want him to go, but I think he’s got to go. Just because that would be really sad, and that would kill everybody. But I don’t know about the other one. I’ve been really trying to think about who the other person could be.

Micah: See, when I heard…

Brandon: I’m hoping it’s not Neville, but it could be.

Micah: When I heard two, I immediately thought Fred and George.

Brandon: I don’t think so.

Laura: [gasps] Micah! No! Don’t say that!

Brandon: I think – I’m going to say all the Weasleys are safe. I really feel like all the Weasleys are safe.

Laura: Really?

Brandon: Yeah.

Laura: That’s interesting.

Brandon: I…

Laura: A lot of people think that Percy’s going to buy the farm.

Brandon: I don’t think Percy will… [laughs] Honestly, I don’t think Percy is important enough to die. I don’t really think anybody would care if Percy died, personally.

[Micah and Laura laugh]

Brandon: But… Plus, I think Percy still has to mend his fences with his family and, you know, I’m an optimist. I think all the Weasleys will remain unscathed, maybe a little grievously injured, but I think they’ll all live.

Laura: An optimist who thinks Harry is going to die.

[Everyone laughs]

Brandon: I think he’s got to. I think he has to.

Laura: All right, well, we’re running a little short on time here, so Brandon, thank you for joining us again. It is…

Brandon: No problem. Anytime.

Laura: …always a pleasure to have you.

Brandon: Thank you.

Laura: Now, listeners, don’t forget. If you or someone you know has an excellent editorial on MuggleNet, be sure to let us know. And for one final note, we’re working on expanding this segment by featuring other areas of the site and the lovely people who run them, so we will of course, be looking for listener feedback on that, because we love you guys so much, so please write in when you hear anything on that. And once again, Brandon Ford, “The Underground Lake.” Read it, or else.

[Brandon and Micah laugh]

Brandon: Thank you. Please do.

Laura: [laughs] All right. Bye, everyone.

Micah: Thanks.

Brandon: Bye. Thank you.

What’s Buggin’ Micah: Jo, Update Your Site!

Andrew: Okay, we’re back and now joined by Micah. He hopped off the editorial discussion and decided to join us.

Ben: I’m home now.

Andrew: Oh. [laughs]

Micah: Where were you before?

Ben: I was at school.

Jamie: Yeah, but Ben…

Andrew: In school.

Micah: Oh.

Jamie: Ben, don’t you get a free house with that library as well? [laughs]

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: Well, that’s the thing. The editorial segment – or, wait. When you got off like, twenty minutes ago. So, what’d you do, fly home?

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah.

Ben: I drove.

Andrew: Okay, anyway. [laughs] We have a new segment this week, because we’re all about new segments. Like, like pickle. Pickle. Pickle.

Jamie: We…

Andrew: Pickle.

Jamie: We like to keep up to date, don’t we?

Andrew: Yeah. So it’s a new segment, and it’s called, “What’s Buggin’ Micah?” [laughs]

Micah: [laughs] Did you – did you practice that?

Andrew: Boy, this is a rough start. Yes, actually.

Jamie: Can I do it?

Andrew: Yeah, go ahead.

Jamie: While all of you who hear Micah doing the news think that he’s a sort of laid back, calm individual who doesn’t ever get angry or doesn’t ever shout or get annoyed, he isn’t really. And if you listen to us recording, you’d hear the full force of Micah exploding.

Andrew: [sounds scared] Oooh. Gives me chills just thinking about it.

Jamie: It fills us with fear – yeah, it does. Just thinking about it, I’m going queasy and sort of, you know, jumping up and down. But, anyway, we thought that we would bring this sort of anger and use is productively, so we thought we’d try and show everyone exactly how Micah feels in this new segment.

Andrew: All right.

Jamie: So, Micah, explode.

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Micah: All right. Well, being that this is the first segment, I’m going to make it short and sweet, but you’ll be able to figure out what it’s about soon enough. So, with that said… Jo, you need to update your site.

Andrew: Oooh.

Micah: “Why?” you ask? Because it’s been 120 days, which is roughly one-third of the calendar year since you last posted something.

[Ben laughs]

Micah: Wizard of the Month, birthday announcements – they don’t count.

[Ben laughs]

Micah: Yes, I realize you did come visit us in New York City, and it was great seeing you. We know you’re writing Book Seven, but we’re not asking for a lot. At least update the diary on the main page. I believe you’re supposed to write in a diary more than once every five months. I mean, Emerson has posted more than you lately, and that’s saying something.

[Andrew, Ben, and Jamie laugh]

Ben: Oh, my gosh.

Micah: Just to put it in perspective, here are some things that were happening on May 10th; the last time you updated:

MuggleCast was only 38 episodes old.

[Andrew gasps]

Jamie: That’s a long time away.

Micah: We were more than two months away from Las Vegas and New York City.

[Andrew pretends to cry]

Micah: Katie Couric was still the host of the Today Show.

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: Those students who are now freshman in college were still taking classes as seniors in high school.

[Andrew laughs]

Micah: Pluto was still a planet.

[Everyone laugh]

Micah: …and, and DumbledoreIsNotDead.com was actually a meaningful website. So please, Jo, update your site!

Jamie: That’s what’s bugging Micah. Although, Jo…

Ben: Well, I could totally see Jo posting on her website, “Because Micah Tannenbaum said so.”

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: How awesome would that be?

Jamie: Although, Ben, Ben, I’d just like to point out that Jo, if you’re listening, we are in no way affiliated with Micah Tannenbaum at all.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Or any of his news segments.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah. Or any of his feelings or angers at all. Personally, I think May is a great time to update and I think you should…

[Ben and Micah laugh]

Jamie: …live your life and don’t worry about a website. Seriously.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Micah, you da, god.

Andrew: Micah, that was very good.

Jamie: That was good.

Andrew: And we got – we like seeing this side of you because everyone sees the serious Micah Tannenbaum in the MuggleCast news center, but there’s never the real Micah. [laughs] Anyway, good work, Micah. [laughs] I… I… I concur, though. It has, it has been a while. It’s a shame, that’s all.

Micah: What’s been a while?

Andrew: An update to her site.

Ben: Duh!

Jamie: Yeah, it’s been – let’s phrase it properly. It would be rather pleasant to receive an update.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: But we in no way expect it.

Andrew: I do.

Jamie: Okay, I do too.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Jo, update your website. Come on, it’s been ages.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Dumbledore-Norris Facts

Andrew: Now time for some more fun with Dumbledore/Norris facts! Yay!

Jamie: Should we have a bad quote of the week, as well? [laughs] Like, you know, the worst one that’s been sent in?

Andrew: Sure.

Jamie: Okay, I just need to find it. This is a nice one from Dan, 12. “Dumbledore’s beard makes unicorn hair look dull.” [laughs]

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: “When Dumbledore’s eyes twinkle brightly behind his spectacles, you had better be glad that he’s wearing his glasses, otherwise the brightness of that twinkle would burn a hole right through you.” [laughs]

Jamie: I love these. I love… No, actually, even though Ben’s boring and says that they are – they are bad, the response that I’ve got about these has been fantastic so please keep sending them in.

Micah: You know, when I first saw that in the Writley – and I’m being serious – I thought that you were going to start talking about some relationship between Dumbledore and…

Ben: Mrs. Norris. [laughs]

Micah: …Mrs. Norris.

Jamie: “Azkaban has recently replaced the Dementors with cardboard cut-outs of Dumbledore.”

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: “A more effective way of guarding the prison.” [laughs] This is a good one, “In the seventh year of Hogwarts, Dumbledore was voted best dressed and most likely to be forgiven for performing an Unforgivable Curse.”

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Nice. Non-magic one of the week – “Dumbledore doesn’t need an iPod or any other device for playing music, he just thinks of the song he feels like listening to and it immediately starts playing in his head.” [laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] Speaking of beautiful and intelligent…

Jamie: What?

Andrew: …and popular…

Laura: Hello?

Jamie: Can I get to say this at some point?

Andrew: Yeah, Laura just entered. I wanted to introduce her properly.

Jamie: Oh!

Andrew: Hello.

Jamie: Hey, Laura.

Laura: Hi.

Jamie: Laura, did you know that Dumbledore is not really dead, but living with Tupac [pronounced “Two-pack”] and Elvis?

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Laura: Really?

Micah: “Two-pack?”

Andrew: “Two-pack?”

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Tupac. What’s his name?

Jamie: Yeah. “Two-pack.” That’s it.

Micah: Well, I’ve never heard it as “Two-pack?”

Jamie: “When Dumbledore holds a Remembrall, it simply shatters because Dumbledore never forgets.”

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: That’s from Jennifer Rader, 18, from Texas. Thank you. Please keep sending them in. They’re fantastic. Send them to jamie at staff dot mugglenet dot com and, yeah. And we especially like original Dumbledore quotes that have some kind of magic thing related to them so to all the people who have gone to ChuckNorrisFacts.com, [laughs] copy them down and change the name to Dumbledore…which I admit I did do first of all. Try and get some original ones. They’re all fantastic. Thank you.

Gimme A Butterbeer: Harry Potter – The Satanic Art?

Andrew: Now, it is time for the return of Gimme A Butterbeer…

Laura: Yay!

Jamie: Dun dun dun.

Andrew: …with Ben Schoen.

Ben: It’s what everyone’s been waiting for, I’m pretty sure.

Jamie: Do you know what…

Andrew: Yeah, we’ve been waiting like, how…when…what was the last one? When was the last one?

Jamie: Four years. We should do a Gimme A Butterbeer.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Andrew, Andrew.

Ben: Me?

Andrew: Yeah, we should do our own.

Jamie: Andrew. No, no.

Ben: It was the last time Jo updated her site.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: Ohhh. [laughs]

[Micah laughs]

Jamie: We should do a…

Andrew: What?

Jamie: We should do a Give Me a Butterbeer about Ben not doing Give Me a Butterbeer.

[Laura laugh]

Ben: Yeah, that’s a good one.

Andrew: Okay, I’ll be right back but Ben, you can do that.

Ben: This week, I’d like to take a look at Harry Potter: The satanic art. “Behind Harry Potter lies the signature of the king of darkness, the devil,” Pope Benedict XIV senior exorcist told Vatican Radio. According to the Daily Mail newspaper in London, he added that “the book attempts to make false distinction between black and white magic when, in fact, the distinction does not exist because magic is always a turn to the devil.” I know we’ve discussed this before, but for the last time, Harry Potter is not turning our youth into little witches and wizards. It’s a fictional story about a boy who happens to be a wizard and is attempting to save the world. It’s the equivalent of saying Superman must be demon-possessed because real people can’t fly.

What I’m getting sick and tired of is continually hearing the critics say the same thing over and over. To me it seems they can’t stand how insanely popular the book is, so they’re going to be so – so they’re going to be cynical and find a way to criticize. Unfortunately, they keep re-hashing the same message: Harry Potter is the devil. I think this is a very important conversation to have. When prominent religious figures continually condemn the books, it makes the average Christian Harry Potter fan feel guilty for reading the series because of its alleged connections with the occult. Please, if you’re going to criticize the books, at least make a legitimate attempt to understand what they are about.

Jamie: Or read them first.

Ben: I sincerely doubt the Pope’s exorcist has actually read the series, so it’s unfair for him to pass judgment. Perhaps if he actually cracked one of the books, he’d see it’s underlined moral teachings and realize that it’s not just a bunch of teenage witches and wizards dancing in a circle chanting voodoo. Hopefully, this is the last time I have to bring this topic up. I’m Ben Schoen and I say, Gimme A Butterbeer.

Laura: Well, I doubt it’s going to be…

Jamie: Pretty good, Benjamin, well done.

Laura: It will probably not be the last time you have to bring that topic up, but you do bring up several good points.

Jamie: The Pope’s going to turn around and say, “Well, if Ben Schoen doesn’t want us to say anything…”

Ben: Yeah.

[Ben and Laura laugh]

Jamie: “…we won’t say it. It’s fine.”

Ben: So, what do you guys think?

Jamie: I think you’re right, but do you know what? I don’t really care though. It’s like if the Pope’s senior exorcist wants to say it’s about devils and stuff, then that’s fine. He can think we’re going to hell for reading it.

[Laura and Ben laugh]

Jamie: I’m going to read it still and I’m sure that every other fan is still going to read it. But, I do agree that it can make people feel guilty for reading something they shouldn’t feel guilty about. Do you agree with that sentiment Laura? Or…

Laura: I do, I do agree with that sentiment.

Jamie: Oh, excellent.

Laura: It really irks me how people seem to think that they can go about judging the books without even reading them.

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: It’s like that Laura Mallory, who doesn’t live to far from me, who claims – she seems to think that she doesn’t need to actually read the books before condemning them because she has four children and she doesn’t have enough time. Yet, she has so much time sitting around appealing to the state, which she is now. I think she’s getting another hearing here soon, so I’m probably going to go up there and argue.

Jamie: Good. Do it, do it.

Laura: I think it’s absolutely ridiculous and I think, Ben, you hit the nail on the head.

Micah: Try and refrain yourself from hitting her.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: But seriously, what right does she have to go and protest something? Separation of church and state definitely covers this.

Laura: Mhm.

Ben: You can’t say, “Because God said so, these books have to be banned from libraries.”

Jamie: No, you can’t say it, can you?

Ben: The interpretation of what God is…

Jamie: There’s just no ground there.

Ben: Based upon the person and the constitution protects your right to…

Laura: Exactly.

Ben: Freedom of religion, so it’s ridiculous for this woman to even say that.

Laura: Well, I think it’s important to remember, and I’m not meaning this to be insulting – in the least way at all, but freedom of religion is also freedom from it, and…

Jamie: It is.

Laura: …I think trying to base a public school system’s right to have what they want in the library on one person’s religious beliefs is absolutely ridiculous.

Micah: And I think, all you have to do is look at what took place at the beginning of August in New York City, in terms of it’s impact on literature with 6,000 people coming out each night to see, not just Jo, but two other authors and I think that that’s a statement to be made. The whole idea of it being a satanic cult – I really don’t like the comparisons that were made, in particular the two that Emerson mentioned in his post to these – 5to what was it? To Hitler and Stalin?

Jamie: Yeah. It’s just ridiculous.

Laura: Well, I…

Jamie: It’s just ridiculous.

Laura: We’re all perfect examples of what good Harry Potter can do. Think about how different our lives would be if it weren’t Harry.

Jamie: Oh yeah.

Laura: We wouldn’t be going on all these great trips, we wouldn’t be doing this show, we wouldn’t even know each other.

Jamie: I know. How ridiculous do you think it is? jamie at staff dot mugglenet dot com. Tell me how ridiculous…

[Ben, Laura, and Micah laugh]

Jamie: Exactly how ridiculous do you think it is.

Ben: The bottom line is that it’s a book. It’s not preaching to you, it’s not trying to convert…

Jamie: Exactly.

Ben: …you to a belief system. It’s just a story. That’s all it is. There are many stories out there that involve witchcraft, but…

Jamie: Exactly.

Ben: …it doesn’t mean they are all trying to convert to Wiccans.

Laura: Yeah.

Ben: Wicca, whatever you want to call it.

Laura: And kids are reading now. They’re not letting their brains rot in front of the television as much anymore. That is one thing to be so thankful for. Anything that gets kids reading.

Ben: I don’t think anything that’s encouraging child literacy is going to be spawning from the devil.

[Andrew, Ben, and Laura laugh]

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: You go to hell if you read books, but if you play video games, you’re all right.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: It just makes no sense.

Ben: Well, once again, if you have an idea for this segment, please email ben at staff dot mugglenet dot com. Or go to the MuggleCast.com website and select Ben from the contact page. Thanks! Also, give me feedback on this. Tell me what you think.

Andrew’s HUH?! E-mail of the Week

Andrew: It’s time for Andrew’s… [makes “me, me, me, me, me, me, me” throat clearing sound] It’s time for Andrew’s Huh?!, Huh?!, Huh?!…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: …E-mail of the Week.

Jamie: That was easy.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: It usually takes a couple of tries to get my voice in a groove.

Jamie: Yeah, you’ve got to tune it up.

Andrew: Actually, this isn’t an e-mail. This is HUH?! MuggleNet comment board of the week entry, thing.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: So, we posted about MuggleCast 54, which I incorrectly called 55 last week.

Laura: Good job!

Andrew: My bad!

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: And, you know, we like reading the comments. We like seeing the feedback, and there’s this one comment that kind of, you know, we get these every once in a while, and it really grinds my gear…

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Gears. It reads, “I’d just like to mention that I used to watch this.”

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Okay, first of all, you don’t watch it, you listen to it.

Eric: First mistake! [laughs]

Andrew: Second sentence: “It was good,” no comma, “though the descussions…”

Jamie: Descussions?

Andrew: Spelled D – E – S… Yeah, it’s like, “descussions.”

[continues reading] “…did start to go downhill.”

All right. Your opinion.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: “What actually made me quit watching it,” – once again, you’re not watching, you’re listening – “was the large amount of spyware that latched itself onto my computer when I was downloading the episodes.”


Ben: Yep. You heard it here. We… [laughs]

Andrew: “The computer guy said it was very hard to get rid of – get rid of, and some of them still remain because they will not detach. We may have to get a new computer. Thanks, MuggleCast.”

First of all, you’re welcome.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: Second of all, we don’t attach any spyware…

Ben: Spyware? We don’t even know how to do that. How would you do that?

Jamie: Andrew, Andrew don’t lie.

Ben: How can you attach spyware to an mp3 file?

Jamie: No, no…

Ben: How can you do that?

Jamie: No, Ben, don’t lie. I think we should come clear.

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] We have Kevin do it each week?

Jamie: We have a special deal worked out with…

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: No, no. We have a special deal worked out with Dell, whereas we screw up everyone’s computer, then they buy a new one from Dell…

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Then we get a 20% annual profit.

Andrew: Yeah! [laughs]

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: Enter code MuggleCast…

Jamie: Pretty, pretty awesome, really.

Micah: Who sent this to you? What’s their name?

Andrew: It was on the comment board.

Micah: Oh.

Andrew: But I just want to point out that, of course, we don’t attach anything to the audio files. That’s just silly, and we would never try to. We don’t even know how. And they’re just audio files. It’s like downloading music. That’s all.

Jamie’s British Joke of the Day

Andrew: Jamie!

Jamie: Yes.

Andrew: British Joke of the Day!

Jamie: I’ve got one.

Andrew: Oh!

Jamie: Okay.

Andrew: That’s a joke in itself.

Jamie: Didn’t know that… Eh! All right. There’s this guy, and he goes skydiving for the first time ever, okay? After he jumps out of the plane, he counts to ten, as you do, pulls the cord, and absolutely nothing happens. So, he’s getting a little bit worried by now, and he pulls the cord for the auxiliary parachute, but, unfortunately, again, the parachute doesn’t appear at all [laughs]. So, he’s falling down, you know, reaching terminal velocity, and he’s plummeting toward the earth, and he sees this woman coming up completely the other way, and he shouts to her, “Hey! Do you know anything about parachutes?” And she quickly replies, “No. Do you know anything about gas stoves?”

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: Oh, that bombed.

Jamie: Oh, god, that was funny.

Ben’s Not So British Joke of the Day

Jamie: Okay, Ben, you tell yours.

Ben: My joke?

Jamie: Would you like me to tell it?

Ben: I’ll tell it. So, guys. Why did the ghost of the chicken cross the road?

Andrew: Why?

Ben: To get to the other [in scary voice] siiiiiiiiiide!

Jamie: That is pretty good, that one, Ben.

Ben: I love that joke!

Jamie: That is pretty good. I’m very impressed.

Ben: I love that joke.

Jamie: I’m laughing so much.

Ben: [laughs] You did a little bit ago when I told it to you.

[Andrew, Jamie, and Laura laugh]

Jamie: Yeah, yeah, I did the first time he said it, but we still only laughed minorly at first.

Chicken Soup: Back-To-School Edition

Andrew: Now, to wrap up the show this week, Chicken Soup: [excitedly] Back-To-School Edition! [sings] Da da da da da da… What’s the Saved by the Bell music?

Ben: [sings] I’m saved by the bell! Itttttttt’s all right, ’cause I’m saved by the bell! [laughs]

[Micah laughs]

Andrew: Phillip Defibaugh [stumbles several times through last name]

Micah: Defibaugh?

Andrew: Defibwaah? Waaah! 15, from Orange County, California, writes about his back-to-school MuggleCast experience:

“I just wanted to say I love listening to the show and that you actually helped me in school. Let me explain. I am really out of shape.”

Oh, okay.

“And at my school in my PE class we have to run a mile every week. I never scored very well. One day, my PE teacher said we could listen to our iPods while we ran the mile.”

Good idea!

“I had just started to run when I noticed I had clicked on MuggleCast. For once, I was actually laughing while I ran the mile.”

Ben: I’m sure that helps him run faster.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, I was just going to say! That’s a little flawed! But anyway…

“A little while later, my PE teacher had stopped me. I had run two extra laps without noticing it! My teacher decided to give me extra credit, bringing my C to a B in the class. Thank you MuggleCast!”

Jamie: [laughs] Funny.

Andrew: How do you get a C in gym?

Ben: Because you can’t run a mile.

Laura: Hey, I know people who have done it. [laughs] We have our…

Andrew: “PS: Jamie…”

Laura: Sorry!

Andrew: Oh, go ahead Laura. Sorry.

Laura: Oh, no, I was just going to say that our final in gym was we had to run for 30 minutes, and if we didn’t do it…

Andrew: What?!?

Laura: [laughs] We got a C in the class, yeah.

Ben: Hey, do you realize that in thirty minutes, you can run for like four miles?

Laura: Mhm.

Ben: Yeah. That’s ridiculous!

Andrew: That’s a lot.

Ben: That’s… [laughs]

Andrew: And at the bottom, it says:

“PS: Jamie, you’re my favorite MuggleCaster.”


Ben: Well, this person is definitely off their rocker, then!

[Micah, Jamie, and Laura laugh]

Jamie: Do you know what we should do? The most sort of – I can’t remember the word. What’s the word that sort of psyches you up and makes you do something?

Andrew: Pump iron?

Ben: Pump you?

Jamie: Sort of inspiring song is always, Eye of the Tiger, by Survivor.

Andrew: [sings beginning of Eye of the Tiger] Buh! Buh buh buh! Buh buh buh!

Jamie: We should play that every single week, just to kind of, like, inspire people who could be doing things right now when they are listening to the show.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: It will help gym students everywhere.

More Chicken Soup: Back-To-School Edition

Andrew: Well, here’s another. I like these kind of re – not rebuttals, Chicken Soups. This one comes from Briana, 16, of Virginia Beach, Virginia. And she says:

“Hey, MuggleCasters! Tomorrow, I start my senior year of high school. I’ve been dreading it all summer, but MuggleCast helped me realize there was nothing to worry about tonight in the form of a supermarket phenomenon. There I was, in the refrigerated section of the supermarket in my MuggleCast shirt…”

Of course! Everyone wears their MuggleCast t-shirts out everywhere. [laughs]

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: “…holding a jar of pickles for my lunch.”

Okay. I’m not sure why she has pickles for lunch, but…

“I laughed silently, reminded of the most recent episode (which was hilarious, by the way). Then, it happened.”

Ben, cue it up, please!

Ben: [sings beginning of Eye of the Tiger] Buh! Buh buh buh! Buh buh buh!

Andrew: No!

Jamie: Come on, Ben!

Ben: [singing City of Blinding Lights] Ooooooooo…

Andrew: [singing City of Blinding Lights] Ooooooooo…

Andrew: Can’t do it now. But…

[Ben sings throughout]

Andrew: “‘City of Blinding Lights’ came on the speakers of the supermarket. I swear, that moment was the culmination of my favorite MuggleCast allusions. I had a pickle jar in my hand…”

[Jamie and Laura laugh]

Andrew: ” …U2 in my ears, and the podcasters on my… well, chest. [laughs] I started to laugh even louder. Now that I think of it, I must have looked so ridiculous as I attempted to sing the “Ooohs” while laughing hysterically.”

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: Wonderful!

“With the help of MuggleCast, U2, and pickles, I was able to have one last moment of blissful stupidity before I head off to school tomorrow morning. So, thank you, guys, for being for being funny and utterly random every week. It made my summer.”

Pickles, pickles, pickles, pickles…

Ben: Stop!

Jamie: And U2. And U2.

Andrew: …pickles, pickles…

Ben: Stop with the pickles!

Andrew: …pickles, pickles, pickles, pickles, pickles, pickles, pickles, pickles…

Ben: Hey, I have a little challenge.

Micah: Oh, the transcribers are going to love that.

[Transcriber’s note: Word!]

Jamie: Yeah. [laughs]

Ben: I absolutely love that. Lately…

Ben’s Random Challenge

Ben: I want to hold a challenge for the listeners.

Andrew: Pickles.

Ben: Lately, I’ve …

Jamie: Ben, I do the random challenges!

Ben: No, no; we both do. No, hold on, hold on. Lately…

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Ben: Lately, I’ve been on this little Elton John kick.

Jamie: I’m fed up with him copying me!

Andrew: No!

Ben: And Dumbledore is now dead; JK Rowling confirmed it. And so, I would like for you to write a parody to Elton John’s Candle in the Wind, for Albus Dumbledore.

Laura: Oh, geez. [laughs]

Andrew: I think that’s dumb.

Ben: No, please do it.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Winner gets a t-shirt. [laughs]

Andrew: Ohhh!

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Okay, I just want to close the show off by reminding everyone that we now have a low bandwidth version of the show – we’ve had that for a few weeks – but we also have a feed now, so you can subscribe to it within iTunes. Just go to MuggleCast.com and there’s an iTunes link. This version of the show is much easier for those on dialup to download the show. It sounds like this… [says in a mock static voice]

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: Crumby quality, but not really crumby, but not – it’s still…

Ben: Grainy?

Andrew: What am I saying [laughs] It’s… Yeah. The quality’s decreased, but you can still hear just fine. So, go to MuggleCast.com.

PO Box Update

Andrew: So, that wraps up MuggleCast Episode 55. If you would like to contact us, you can send PO box parcel mail to…


PO Box 223
Moundridge, Kansas 67017.

Oh, by the way…

Jamie: Don’t forget to send your stuff 15 years in advance.

Ben: A minor PO box update. A minor PO Box update. This past week I received four boxes of Lucky Charms for Jamie…

Jamie: Yay.

Andrew: Whoa!

Laura: Jesus.

Ben: Four boxes of Lucky Charms.

Jamie: Thank you, thank you.

Ben: Two of them come from Sam and Ashley. I have no idea where they’re from, but here’s what they say:

“Jamie you are awesome, and my favorite MuggleCaster.”

Enough of that [censored]

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Hey, Andrew, put that in, but just bleep it out. That was funny.

Ben: The other set of goodies come from Madeline – it says on the front – Madeline Welsh…

Jamie: Oh, that’s a nice name.

Ben: Madeline Welsh from Orlando, Florida. Hey, Madeline, we might be there around New Year’s, so we’ll swing by.

[Jamie laughs]

Show Close

Andrew [Show Close with music in background]: You can also, call in a voice mail question or comment to 1-218-20-MAGIC. In the United Kingdom, 020-8144-0677, and in Australia 02-8003-5668. You can also Skype the user name MuggleCast to leave a voice mail, question, comment, whatever you want. Just Skype the user name MuggleCast. Did I already say that? Leave your message user… Keep your message under thirty seconds and no background noise. We’ve also got a Feedback Forum on MuggleCast.com. Don’t forget the Frappr map. Add your pictures; I know – I’m confident you’re all a good-looking bunch. Vote for us on Podcast Alley and all that good stuff. Once again I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I’m Elton John.

Jamie: I’m Cascada.

[Andrew laughs]

Micah: I’m Billy Joel.

Laura: And I’m Laura Thompson.

Andrew: We’ll see everyone next week for Episode 56.


[A school bell rings]

Ben: Uh oh! There goes the bell. There goes the bell, we’re going to the hall.

Andrew: What’s this mean? What?

Ben: What?

Andrew: Where are we going?

Ben: The bell just rang.

Andrew: No, I want to sit here!

Ben: We’re going to the hallway.

Andrew: Nooo!

Ben: No, we’re going to the hall.

Andrew: Oh, okay.

Ben: We’re going to the hall. I may have to leave after this, guys. I don’t know. Moundridge High School.

Jamie: Hey.

Andrew: Oh, come on.

Jamie: Hey Andrew?

Ben: Yeah, I’m recording a podcast right now.

[Students chatter in the background]

Jamie: Andrew.

Eric: Moundridge, Kansas.

Jamie: Andrew, keep that stuff in the show about us arguing about the thing that wasn’t funny. The arguing was funnier than the actual thing.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: I was going to anyway.

Jamie: Oh, okay.

Andrew: So, we’re going through Moundridge High School hall.

Ben: Hey, Ryan Flood. Ryan Flood. You’re on MuggleCast. Say, “Hi.”

[Andrew laughs]

Student: Harry Potter’s awesome!

Ben: You’re on MuggleCast, Say, “Hi.”

Student: Hey [censored]!

Andrew: All right.

Student: Snape [censored] Draco.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: Whoa! [laughs] Okay!

Student: Snape [censored] Dumbledore.

Eric: Muggle…

Student: Yo! MuggleCast live!

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: [laughs] Yeah. Say, “Hi,” Chad.

Student: You’re not [censored].

Ben: Yeah I am! Right now. Swear to god.

Student: [jokingly] Where’s Emerson?! Emerson! I want to [censored] Emerson! Oh, Emerson!

[Ben laughs]

Eric: Ben’s…

Student: Emerson I love you, Emerson!

Jamie: I think he just punched him in the face.

Student: What’s that other guy’s name?

Andrew: Oh okay. [laughs]

Eric: Oh my god! Some of this stuff is not getting in.

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: Shat?

Student: Are they talking to you?

Ben: Yeah, right now.

Student: What are they saying?

Student: See, Emerson, I love you!

Eric: Moundridge High School: Uncensored.

Student: Ben Schoen, let me see that laptop.

Ben: No! Get away!

Student: I just want to look at it.

Ben: Look with your eyes.

Student: I’m not even going to touch it.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: This is ridiculous.

Student: Hey, come here Ben.

Ben: What?

Jamie: Get some girls on, Ben. They wouldn’t swear.

Andrew: Huh?

Student: Let me hear what they’re saying right now.

Jamie: Ben?

Ben: Yeah?

Jamie: Get some girls on. They won’t swear.

Student: Oh, this guy’s British.

Ben: Yeah, he’s British.

Eric: Ben doesn’t get any girls.

Student: Ben gets a lot of girls, man.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: Gets what?

Student: He gets a lot of girls, man. It’s insane.

Andrew: I don’t believe that.

Jamie: I don’t know.

Student: Oh, no, no. The guy is loaded with chicks.

[Ben laughs]

Eric: Girls named Henry, right?

Student: Henry, yeah.

[Ben and Student laugh]

Eric: [laughs] And Patrick, Patrick.

Ben: Patrick.

Andrew: Hmmm, well.

Ben: This is not good. I’m losing signal.

Andrew: This is quite a segment, yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: This is best segment I’ve ever heard. Damn exciting.

Ben: Hey, Waynes. Wayne you’re on MuggleCast. Wayne, you’re on MuggleCast. Say, “Hi.”

Student: Hi.

Ben: Say, “Harry Potter rules.”

Wayne: Harry Potter is [censored].

Andrew: Everyone automatically knows what MuggleCast is at the school. [laughs]

Eric: It’s just the sad truth, Andrew.

Jamie: That’s because Andrew boasts about it every single… Sorry, that’s because Ben boasts about it every single day. He’s like, “So, Ben, are you coming out tonight?” “No, I’m recording MuggleCast and doing my work on the biggest Harry Potter site in the world.”

Eric: Yeah, the average person is under the impression that he spends five hours every day recording MuggleCast.

Jamie: Yeah. We do, don’t we? You know? That’s no lie.

Eric: Oh, absolutely.

Jamie: Five hours a day.

Eric: Yes. The unseen footage is…

Ben: Hey, can you guys hear me? Not you.

Jamie: No.

Eric: What?

Ben: I think I’m going to have to go now.

Eric: Get a girl on, man.

Ben: Hey Natalie. Natalie, come here.

Eric: What do Kansan girls sound like?

Ben: Come on, just say, “Hi.”

Natalie: Hello?

Andrew: It’s so stressful, isn’t it, Natalie? Yeah.

Eric: [laughs] Yeah. Shy.

Ben: Say, “Hi.”

Jamie: Yeah. It’s pretty tough, I must admit.

Ben: Say “Hi, Jamie.”

Natalie: Hi Jamie.

Jamie: Hey.

Eric: Say hi to me!

Ben: That’s Eric.

Natalie: I did!

Natalie: Oh, hi Eric.

Jamie: Say hi to me, is that?

Ben: Hi to you? [laughs]

Eric: Hi! Hi Natalie. How are you?

Natalie: I’m good. How are you?

Eric: I’m going great. So, listen, how is Ben in school? Do you know Ben?

Jamie: Yeah.

Natalie: I do know Ben.

Andrew: Did you ever go to a dance with Ben? Did you ever see him at a dance?

Natalie: No.

Jamie: Is he…

Natalie: Well, I’ve seen him at dances, but I don’t go with him.

Jamie: Is he a…

Andrew: Is he a wallflower? Tell me, are the rumors true?

[Ben laughs]

Natalie: Are the rumors true of what?

Andrew: Is he a wallflower?

Eric: Is Ben a wallflower?

Natalie: A wallflower?

Jamie: Does he just stand by the wall and just do that all evening and look depressed?

Natalie: No, no, he dances.

Jamie: Or does he get up on to the…

Andrew: He dances? Oh, gee.

Jamie: Oh. Is he as much of a player as we’ve heard? They told us…

Eric: Does Ben’s milkshake bring all the boys to the yard?

[Ben and Natalie laugh]

Natalie: Yeah. All the boys. Definitely. Mhm.

Jamie: But, no girls?

Eric: Any girls?

Natalie: Of course. [laughs]

Ben: Okay, guys. Are you still there?

[Natalie laughs in background]

Eric: Well, we appreciate talking to you.

Jamie: No, we’ve gone in the one second.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

Ben: [laughs] Shut up.

Eric: Thank you, Natalie.

Ben: See yeah, that’s, that’s Moundridge High School for you.

Andrew: The one girl.

Jamie: [laughs] Andrew, put that in. Put that in. That was actually really quite funny, I must admit.


Written by: Micah, Adrienne, Allison, Ally, Amanda, Eloise, Jessica, Judy, Mandie, Margaret, Martina, Matthew, Megan, Roni, Shannon and Shelly

Episode 55: Libraries For All

  • Two-Way Mirror Listener Rebuttals.
  • A mai- discussion for you this week!
  • Does the magical abilities of Dumbledore and Voldemort differ from the rest of the wizarding community?
  • Crackpot Theory of the Week.
  • Eric’s useless! He fails at life! He calls himself a fan?!
  • Another Editorial Discussion with Brandon Ford.
  • Laura, Micah, and Brandon discuss what Wormtail could be up to, Dumbledore’s death, and more.
  • A new segment titled “What’s Buggin’ Micah?” shows a new side of our news man.
  • More Dumbledore/Norris facts.
  • The return of Gimme a Butterbeer.
  • HUH?! Comment of the Week.
  • One long blooper where Ben goes through Moundridge High to see what his fellow classmates think of Potter.

Download Now
Running time: 1:30:51, 41.6 MB

Transcript 054

MuggleCast 54 Transcript

Show Intro

Andrew [Show Intro with music in background]: Because quantum theory has too much to theorize – thank you Alice, 28, of Ohio – this is MuggleCast Episode 55 [he means 54] for September 3rd, 2006.

Your number one source for all your internet needs, GoDaddy.com has new domain names, transfers, and renewals for as low as $1.99; plus, check out the hosting plans, website builders, security certificates, and much more. Plus, as a MuggleCast listener, enter code HARRY – that’s H-A-R-R-Y – when you check out and save five dollars off of any order of thirty dollars or more. Get your piece of the internet today at GoDaddy.com.

Hello, Potter pickles! [laughs] Welcome back to…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: …the show. I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I am Ben Schoen.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Eric: I’m Eric Scull. [at the same time as Jamie]

Laura: And I’m Laura Thompson.

Eric: Jamie, Jamie, Jamie, Jamie.

Andrew: And this is the show where we bring you the latest in Harry Potter news, theories, discussions, umm…

Jamie: And some other stuff as well.

Andrew: Plumpy pickles, and much more. [laughs]

Jamie: [laughs] Plumpy?

Andrew: But before we go anywhere else, a tasty pickle by the name of Micah Tannenbaum is over at the MuggleCast news center with the latest Harry Potter news stories.

Jamie: What’s up, tasty Micah?


Micah: Daniel Radcliffe recently announced that he will commence filming for a new ITV drama, My Boy Jack, in the summer of 2007. The show is based on a true story of Rudyard Kipling and his son Jack, who was killed in World War I.

At the Emmy Awards, David Yates-directed film The Girl in the Café won the “Made for TV Movie” award. The movie’s producers announced that David couldn’t attend the ceremony due to Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix filming commitments.

Three movie release dates that I mentioned last week have all now been confirmed by Warner Bros. You can always keep up with the latest Order of the Phoenix release dates in our movies section.

Those three release dates included Belgium on July 11th, Denmark on July13th, and Poland on July 20th.

Additionally, Warner Brothers confirmed to us that the fifth Harry Potter movie will be released next year in the Czech and Slovak Republic on July 19th, and in Sweden on July 13th.

We also posted a few new set pictures from the film over on MuggleNet.com.

RupertGrint.net, MuggleNet’s official Rupert fansite, has posted their exclusive interview with the actor who plays Ron Weasley in the Potter films. In it, he talks with site owners Claire and Kelle about everything from his favorite movies to Book Seven theories, and says there will be no Quidditch in Order of the Phoenix.

The Ron Weasley actor will make an appearance on radio talk show hostEdith Bowman’s program this Thursday, September 7 between 1 and 4 PM GMT. Listeners can submit questions, which will be posed to him on air.

Emma Watson has been nominated for a Relly award in the category of Best Junior Achiever by Live with Regis and Kelly. Don’t forget to vote for her, and the winners will be announced on September 22nd.

Finally, as we head out to the 2006 Podcast Awards, the next live Leaky Mug, will be held on September 28th, at Borders in Westwood, located at 1360 Westwood Blvd. in Los Angeles, California. It will start sharply at 7 PM Pacific Time, and we hope to see you there.

That’s all the news for this September 3rd, 2006, edition of MuggleCast. Back to the show.

Andrew: Okay, thank you Micah.

Jamie’s Contest

Jamie: Eric, complete this sentence for me, okay: “Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate.” Come on, Eric, you should know this.

Eric: Oh, something about vivacious…

Jamie: Not bad! “This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished; a vital voice once venerated, now vilified.”

Eric: Jamie?

Ben: That’s not even funny.

Jamie: “However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation now stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin…” Actually, the only reason I’m doing this, Ben, is because I wanted to announce a competition, and normally I have waited until once we got into the show. I was so excited about this, I thought, “I have to do this now!” Okay. We want a MuggleCast version of the speech from V for Vendetta. So – and you win a free t-shirt, a very nice t-shirt. And they’re especially limited edition now, because we’re going to have new designs coming out, so please get them while you can.

Eric: Jamie?

Jamie: Yes, Eric?

Eric: What is it with these run-on sentences? You must like grammar. I mean, yes – last episode, you wanted them to do DADA, a sentence of entirely DADA.

Jamie: No, no! I just love sentences.

Eric: Don’t get me wrong, V for Vendetta is a wonderful movie.

Jamie: It is good. You’re right.

Eric: I loved it. It’s excellent. It’s like the – that was brilliant, by the way, too. But I don’t know. How – what does this have to do with a t-shirt?

Jamie: It doesn’t have anything to do with the t-shirt. It’s just a – we want a MuggleCast version of it, like, for example, Muggles. I don’t know. “Majestically moving montage of Muggle…”

Eric: Of mundane!

Jamie: I don’t know – of mundane, yeah. Mundane Marry Potter news.

Ben: Marry Potter news?

Jamie: Yeah, I don’t know. [laughs]

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: Something all – it has to be something that actually makes sense, but yeah. Send them in to jamie at staff dot mugglenet dot com.

Eric: I must say, you have the most compelling challenges ever. I really like them.

Jamie: Well, that’s extremely kind, Eric. Thank you.

Andrew: What about last week’s contest?

Ben: The California one? Or – no. Crap.

Jamie: What last week’s contest?

Andrew: Well, no, that too. But the DADA.

Jamie: Oh yeah! No see, I didn’t think at the time, because that was – I saw something on TV about one word which you could say five times, no, no, sort of like eight times and if you insert proper grammar, it makes a sentence, and I was somehow under the impression that you could do this with DADA. But apparently you can’t, so I got, like, four hundred emails of just DADADA 900 times, and I wouldn’t have called them sentences.

Andrew: Did you see the one that I forwarded you?

Jamie: No, I don’t think so. Why, was it an actual sentence?

Andrew: Yeah. I think so.

Jamie: Oh.

Andrew: I didn’t really read it. [laughs]

Jamie: Do you still have it?

Andrew: I forwarded it to you!

Jamie: Ohhh!

Andrew: Check your G-mail.

Jamie: Check my G-mail, okay then. I’ll check my G-mail. But, yeah. Please send your new versions of the speech from V – mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com, or jamie at staff dot mugglenet dot com.

Andrew: Sounds good. I also wanted to start a new segment this week. I don’t know how long it’s going to last, based on, like, the physical…

Eric: You and your new segments.

Jamie: Geography?

[Phone rings in background]

Andrew: But, I want to just – what is that?

Ben: A telephone.

Eric: Don’t worry about it. I’ll mute myself.

Laura: It’s someone’s phone.

Andrew: Oh. I got excited. I thought it was Jamie’s phone [laughs] making a reappearance.

Jamie: Oh no, I know. It hasn’t.

Andrew: After fifty shows. [laughs]

Jamie: It’s very shy. It’s extremely shy.

[Andrew still laughing]

Jamie: I’ve been trying to convince it to come out at some point.

Jamie’s Back Update

Andrew: [laughs] Jamie, we want to start a new segment this week called “Jamie’s Back Update.”

Jamie: Oh.

Andrew: Because people are concerned about your back and I thought maybe we could just…

Ben: Actually, he was faking it all along.

Jamie: Yeah, I was, yeah. I’m sorry. [laughs]

Andrew: Oh!

Jamie: No, it is getting a lot, lot better and I’m hoping to be able to move soon. No, no, no.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: It is getting a lot, lot better. I’ve just been doing absolutely nothing and it’s getting better and hopefully in like a few days it’s going to be completely back to normal. But, I’m not going to lift any bins filled of water – I’m sorry, trash cans filled with water…

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: …for a while, I must admit. Thank you very much for everyone’s e-mails saying “please get better.” I am, thank you very much. And actually I just found…

Andrew: There’s some announce…

Jamie: I’m sorry, can I say…

Andrew: Yeah.

DADA Contest Winner

Jamie: I just found that e-mail about the DADA DA.

Andrew: Oh.

Jamie: It is a very long email with about one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve… [mumbles numbers] About twenty-four DADA. So that prize goes to Jacqueline, 15, from Staten Island…

Andrew: So, did you want to read it?

Jamie: Well, it’s quite long, it is…

Andrew: Oh, okay.

Jamie: Well, I can do a quick one. Okay, one, two, three, go.

[Jamie recites DADA winning e-mail really fast]

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Is that for real?

Eric: He is really good at that.

[Jamie continues reciting DADA winning e-mail really fast]

Eric: He’s still going?

[Jamie continues reciting DADA winning e-mail]

Jamie: The end! Total DA’s thirty-five.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Thank you.

Andrew: What just happened? That was completely unedited, folks.

Ben: Yeah, that’s…

Andrew: Good job, Jamie. Wow.

Jamie: Thank you.

Ben: Actually, I’m sure I could beat that.

Andrew: Well…

Jamie: Ben, you couldn’t beat it if you’d taken classes in reading long DADA sentences, okay.

Ben: No, no. In debate we – there’s speed debating.

Jamie: Oh, is there?

Ben: Where we talk about that fast.


Andrew: We have some [laughs] announcements this week. Don’t forget to purchase your MuggleCast t-shirt. The new designs are on the way – we should roll them out within the next couple weeks and by couple, I possibly mean few.

Jamie: Eighteen.

Andrew: Yeah. Don’t forget to vote for us on Podcast Alley and of course Leaky Mug…

Ben: Wait a second, wait a second.

Andrew: What?

Ben: More on Podcast Alley – please, please vote for us on Podcast Alley. We’re tired of losing to PotterCast. There, I said it. The “P” word.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: Vote for us on Podcast Alley, put us over the top for the month. We haven’t won in a while, so help us out.

Andrew: Ummm, the only “P” word we are allowed to say on this show is “pickles.”

Ben: Pickles.

Andrew: No, no…

Ben: MuggleCast 54 – Pickles.

Jamie: Pickles.

Andrew: Pickles.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: No, plumb-pickers pickles…

Andrew: Pickles.

Eric: Plumb…

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Plumpy pickles.

Andrew: It’s a fun word. Pickles. Everyone say, “pickles.”

Ben: Pickles.

Jamie: Pickles.

Eric: Pickles.

Andrew: Pickles.

Laura: Pickles.

Eric: [in a high-pitched voice] Pickles.

Andrew: Pickles. [Laughs]

Eric: Tommy Pickles?

Andrew: [still laughing] Okay – California. Leaky Mug live in California September 28, 7:00 PM at the Borders in Westwood.

Jamie: Be there.

Andrew: In Las Vegas. [laughs] No, not Las Vegas, Los Angeles.

Ben: Sorry, we’re still in Vegas.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: We are.

Ben: I left my soul in Vegas; my heart in New York City.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs] Are you going to do the lyrics thing, Ben?

Ben: The lyrics – about the lyrics. To be honest with you, I’ve been really forgetful lately. I have a bunch of them in my inbox. I’ll sort them out and when Andrew posts the show, we’ll post the winner.

Jamie: Can I summarize what Ben’s saying here, please?

Eric: Since – yeah. Go ahead.

Jamie: I think what he’s saying is that he opens up his G-mail and it says “410 unread messages.” They’re all in black, so you know, he hasn’t read them and he thinks, “I’m going to bed.”

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: I’m going to bed, yeah.

Eric: Yeah, that’s pretty much… Yeah.

Jamie: That’s about it, though.

PO Box Update

Andrew: And Ben, you got a P.O. Box update for us this week?

Ben: This is the best P.O. Box update of all P.O. Box updates.

Jamie: Yeah. It’s the only one you’ve done.

Ben: I know.

Jamie: Sorry. [laughs]

Ben: Firstly – this is going to be weekly from now on or, bi-weekly. Depends on how much stuff we get sent. So, then you should send something in. The first thing I’d like to mention is our featured PO Box Item of the Week. Someone by the name of Sarah Fyack from New Jersey – Andrew’s native state – sent in a drawing of the MuggleCasters with the featured slogan, “I don’t need friends, I’ve got MuggleCast.”

Andrew: Awww.

Jamie: Awww.

Eric: Awww.

Laura: Awww.

Ben: Yeah, it is very – it is a really awesome picture, and to be quite honest, Jamie and I both look so hot, it’s ridiculous.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: It’s like she put a hot filter on us.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: And, yeah. So, I’ll post this – I’ll take a picture of it or scan it or something and we’ll put it in the Show Notes.

Andrew: Yay.

Ben: With ten banner ads around it.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: No, I’m just kidding. The other items that were sent in during this past week: Angeline Kokami and Holly Gart from Canada sent in custom bookmarks for each of the MuggleCasters. Hopefully I’ll send those out soon.

Eric: Awww.

Laura: Awww. Thanks you guys!

Ben: Emily from Washington – Redmond actually, which is where Microsoft was founded, anyways – sent in a wonderful account of a dream in which I made an appearance.

[Eric laughs]

Ben: And Emily, I agree, we are meant for each other. Chelsea from Pennsylvania sent in a Subway gift card. Mary, my fellow Kansan, sent five one-dollar bills for my birthday. Hannah, my number-one fangirl sent in sequins in a card, which I opened and scattered all over my laptop…

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: …and it took me about twenty minutes getting it out of the keys. Thanks Hannah. [laughs]

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: And, of course, other letters from Amelia from Canada; Katie from Maine; Lauren from California, who’s very excited about the live podcast; Tracy from Oklahoma, who’s enjoying the heat; Kevin from California; Liz Jah from California for an extremely generous Subway gift card. So, thanks a ton for that. Finally, Jacklyn from Staten Island, the one who won the DADA thing a minute ago – she thought she’d be funny and send Christmas cards already.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: But, but, something that’s worth pointing out – there’s only Christmas cards here for Laura, Andrew, Kevin, and Eric. So, looks like Jamie, Micah and myself got the shaft.

Laura, Jamie, and



Eric: Just cut Eric’s in half, and we’ll…

Ben: [laughs] Yeah, and we’ll split it. Also, thanks to Kyle from New York for the birthday package that he sent me, and to Elizabeth for sending Laura a scarf. I’ll get that out to her as soon as possible.

Laura: Awww! Thank you, Elizabeth!

Ben: So, send us anything, absolutely everything, anything you have. So, something you send may end up as our featured item of the week. So, there’s your incentive. Send something…

Andrew: [laughs] Featured item of the week.

Jamie: We’re the new eBay. We’re the new eBay. Instead of sticking stuff on eBay, just send it to us.

Andrew: We’re selling Laura’s scarf. Bidding starts at five bucks. [laughs]

Laura: No, I want my scarf. That’s mine!

Andrew: [laughs] Just kidding.

Andrew: Pickles. Pickles. Pickles.

Eric: Pickles.

Jamie: Pikles.

Andrew: Pickles. Pickles. [in a nerdy voice] Pickles. [laughs]

Ben: So, that wraps up…

Andrew [laughs]: We’re wasting everyone’s time.

Ben: Remember guys – hey remember, everybody – that is:

PO Box 223
Moundridge, Kansas67107

So, there you have it. There you have it.

Andrew: Pickles. Send your pickles to the PO Box. [laughs]

[Laura laughs]

Ben: If anyone sends pickles, I swear I will flip out, because I hate pickles. Pickles are so gross. I’d rather…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: You just asked for it. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, Ben, that’s like saying “Oh, no. Please don’t send me $1,000,000. I really don’t want it, Ben”

Listener Rebuttal – Aberforth

Andrew: Listener Rebuttals this week. [laughs] Finally. Erica, 15 from California. She writes:

“Hi, MuggleCasters. I’m just writing in because Eric asked whether Aberforth was acting dumb or if he really was…”

Jamie: Dumb. [laughs]

Andrew: Once again, people aren’t proof-reading.

“I’d like to point out that in Goblet of Fire, pg. 442, US edition, Dumbledore said that when Aberforth got arrested for charming a goat, and it was all in the papers, ‘He held his head high and went about his business as usual. Of course, I’m not entirely sure he can read, so that may not have been bravery.'”

Laura: It doesn’t mean he’s stupid.

Eric: He’s not trying to say that he’s dumb.

Eric: No, you just need to…

Eric: He’s stupid, just not dumb.

Eric: Take a look at Episode 53, go about 22:10 in, and I clearly take into account the fact that Dumbledore didn’t know if he could read or not.

Andrew: Okay.

Eric: Okay.

Listener Rebuttal – Aberforth’s Reading

Jamie: And this one comes from Issel, 16, from Miami in Florida, with the subject “Aberforth Can’t Read.” Ah.

“Just thought I’d point out that Albus told us that he wasn’t sure his brother could read. I find it odd, in fact, I find a bit of deja vu going on here, I must admit. I find it odd that the brother of the headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, can’t read. What does that say about their upbringing? Was Albus normally from a poor, destitute, ill, and illiterate family? Or perhaps Aberforth couldn’t be persuaded to read, and then again, why wouldn’t Albus know if his brother could read or not? Well, maybe it was only a joke. Only Jo really knows.”

In fact, that’s absolutely right. I think we should close down the show and close down everything, ’cause she’s the only one who really knows everything.

Eric: I think it’s suddenly clear to me. I – guys, I know the key to the series or the key to Aberforth is that he’s too busy with goats to care much to read. He never learned to read. He was always, you know…

Ben: I am slappin’ my knee over here.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Jamie, she solved it for us, and she used great words like destitute and…

Jamie: Yeah, they’re nice words.

Eric: Yes.

Laura: Big words, Eric.

Andrew: Yes.

Laura: Big words. [laughs]

Listener Rebuttal – Gas Prices

Andrew: Cindy, from New Jersey, writes:

“Episode 53 was my first time listening to your program, and I enjoyed it very much.”

Thank you, Cindy.

“FYI, the person from Australia told you that they pay the equivalent of $0.90 per liter of gasoline. Before this bums you out too much, consider the fact that a gallon of gas is approximately four liters. 4 times $0.90 equals $3.60. Not a bargain at all.”

Good point, Cindy.

Laura: True that.

Andrew: A few people e-mailed this in. There is cheap gas out there in the world.

Jamie: I don’t want to complain, but I feel a complaint coming on at this “$3.60, not a bargain at all.”

Andrew: Yeah, but…

Jamie: It’s the bargain of the century.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: I’d buy to hoard it, just so I didn’t – just because it was so cheap. If I went to Australia, I’d pack my suitcases with gas, man.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: And leave all my clothes there.

Andrew: I have one thing to say.

Jamie: Yeah?

Andrew: Pickle.

Jamie: Pickle.

Andrew: Pickle. Pickle.

Ben: Stop saying that! That’s annoying! Geez!

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Ben: Actually, guys, Melissa challenged Andrew and I on Skype the other night to come up with something that the fandom is going to keep saying – like their Dawlish thing. So, let’s make ours “pickle.”

Andrew: Yeah. Pickle. Everyone say “pickle.”

Jamie: No, no, no, no.

Andrew: Shirts with pickles on them.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew [still laughing]: Printed with pickles.

Jamie: Two pickles.

Andrew: You know, that’s the beauty of podcasting. I can keep saying “pickle” and no one can throw me off.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: Everyone say it. Just waste everyone’s time.

Eric: Pickle.

Andrew: Pickle.

Eric: Pickle.

Andrew: Pickle. [laughs]

Jamie: When you’re you listening to this just think, that we’re actually all sitting here, just saying “pickle.”

[Eric and Andrew laugh]

Jamie: And laugh because of that, okay? Please.

Main Discussion – The Two-Way Mirror

Andrew: Our main discussion this week: The Two-Way Mirror. Jamie Lawrence.

Jamie: We’re doing a slightly different sort of re-vamp of the main discussion, where we’re going to have an intro and then main questions. Then, further questions stemming from our main questions, and then a “What if?” section as well.

So, here’s our intro: Before Harry went back to Hogwarts after the Christmas holidays in Order of the Phoenix, Sirius handed him a two-way mirror, telling him to use it whenever he needed to chat. At the time, Harry promised himself he would never use it, as it could potentially draw Sirius out of Grimmauld Place and put him in danger. We don’t hear anything else of this mirror until after Sirius’ death. And we never see it again until the end of the book. After Sirius dies, Harry discovers it at the bottom of his trunk. It bears the following inscription:

“This is a two way mirror. I’ve got the other one of the pair. If you need to speak to me just say my name into it. You’ll appear in my mirror, and I’ll be able to talk in yours. James and I used to use them when we were in separate detentions.”

After Harry reads this, he smashes the mirror in frustration.

Andrew: Oooo.

Ben: Oooo.

Laura: Awww. [laughs]

Two-Way Mirror: A Common Good?

Jamie: Okay, main questions. Number one, was the two-way mirror an invention of Sirius and James, or is it commercially available? As in, can you go on eBay and type in “two-way mirror” and buy one? Any thoughts?

Eric: I did.

Ben: Well of course not, Jamie.

Jamie: What? You can’t go on eBay?

Laura: Sounds like something they could get at Zonko’s.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Andrew: Mmmm.

Jamie: Or on eBay dot wizard.

Ben: I doubt it was their own invention, but I don’t know. They were very clever though because they invented the Marauder’s Map. So…

Jamie: Yeah, exactly.

Ben: It wouldn’t be beyond them, but I don’t know.

Jamie: But he says that, “James and I used to use them.” I don’t know if he’s talking about the two mirrors as a pair or just the entire thing, you know?

Eric: Oh, a group of them.

Jamie: Because I’d like to think its his invention, but I don’t know.

Andrew: I was just going say if they were commercially available, wouldn’t we have seen them before already?

Jamie: Well, yeah.

Ben: That’s true.

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: That’s what doesn’t make sense.

Jamie: That’s true.

Ben: Couldn’t Ron or Harry use them? Or students at Hogwarts could probably use them to cheat on tests and stuff too.

Eric: Oooo.

Andrew: Well, you’d have to hold the mirror in front of you.

Jamie: Yeah.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: Yeah, but you could just pretend you were checking your hair or something.

Ben: How big is it? I thought it was really small. I didn’t think it was…

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: [laughing] It’s a four by six.

Laura: Yeah. I always thought it was just a little hand mirror.

Jamie: [laughing] How are we supposed to know?

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: I’d imagine it being three and a half inches, four, yeah.

Andrew: It’s the size of the one in Snow White that Snow White talks to.

Jamie: Yeah.

[Eric and Jamie laugh]

Eric: You just carry it around in your backpack or something.

Jamie: And it has a huge sort of gilded frame around the edges as well.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Jamie: Yeah. It’s not commercially available.

Andrew: I would guess that…

Eric: Sirius Black now appearing in IMAX.

Jamie: Yeah. No, did you notice it’s just like the 21st Century equivalent of the web cam?

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah. I was just going to say, is this built by Skype Inc.?

The Same Two Mirrors?

Jamie: Yeah, I think it must be. Question number two, are these two the same mirrors that Sirius and James used? This kind of follows on from the first question. You know, these could be the same two because these are the only two that exist, or you know are these just the same two because Sirius has kept them?

Laura: I think Sirius kept them.

Ben: Well no. They’re the same two because of how he words it. He says, “James and I used to use them when we were in separate detentions.”

Jamie: No, but he could mean that James and I used to use the mirrors, you know, this type of mirror? It’s like James…

Ben: I know, but in the previous sentence he just referenced a specific mirror that he gave Harry.

Jamie: No, I don’t know. You could see it either way. That “them”…

Ben: What difference does it make?

Jamie: I don’t know! Its just… Hey, Ben! This is a podcast where we over analyze everything. You can’t say, “What difference does it make?”

Eric: Well no. I think it is the same pair because of the way it’s worded.

Jamie: I agree.

Eric: It says, “James and I used to use them.” I think this wouldn’t be something Sirius wouldn’t have gone out and got another pair of just to do this with Harry.

Jamie: Yeah. Yeah. I know.

Eric: First of all, he can’t leave Grimmauld Place, you know. So, I think it makes more sense that he’s had these ever since, you know, he and James were at school – that kind of thing. I don’t know what they’re doing at his house or that’s a question like where’s his motor bike at?

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: I read a theory once that Harry’s room in Order of the Phoenix, when the Advanced Guard comes and Tonks is in his room she looks at the mirror in his bedroom with – and either fixes her nose or checks her hair or something, and I’ve seen it theorized that that was actually her sending a symbol to somebody with a similar kind of mirror, maybe. Do you guys think that that’s likely that Harry’s own bedroom cupboard might have a mirror on it that would be two-way if there were more than one of these?

Jamie: I don’t know.

Laura: That would be creepy. [laughs]

Ben: That would be awesome. It’s like a spy or something.

Secure Communication?

Jamie: Yeah. When Harry’s lying in bed people could see him through the mirror. Okay, question number three, and this I thought was one of the most important questions. Is this method of communication completely secure?

Andrew: Well, I would think if Sirius gave it to him than he knew there must be some level of security to them.

Jamie: Yeah, I agree. I don’t think he’d give him anything that could be compromised at all and it doesn’t seem like it goes through anything else. If you think of Floo Powder, you know, it goes through the central sort of Floo Powder, you know, Department thing and they can monitor. But, I just don’t… This doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that you can monitor.

Eric: You know what it reminds me most of is the mirror in Beauty and the Beast where you have to say the name and it shows you that person, but obviously this is a little bit more restricted.

Jamie: Oooo, yeah.

Eric: That one I imagine it being the same size, around.

Jamie: That kind of thing, yeah.

Andrew: So, are they just two mirrors that Sirius and James put enchantments on?

Jamie: Well, yeah. It could be, yeah. That could be it as well.

Eric: It’s so interesting with pairs. There’s the pair of two way mirrors, the pair of pair of vanishing cabinets, and Dumbledore seemed to have this look of dawning comprehension when he asked Draco on the Lightning-Struck Tower if the vanishing cabinets were a pair?

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: And he’s like, “Yeah. Ah.” That’s interesting to know what pairs – what significance they have and stuff. Like would, for instance, in order for you to enchant two-way mirrors would they have to be of the same glass? Would you actually have to, you know, or something like that – buy two mirrors and enchant them or what? Like phoenix feathered pairs. I don’t know. Anyway, do you guys have my Tonks question? I cut out then.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: No.

Jamie: No, we did hear it. It was the one about using Harry’s mirror.

Eric: Yeah, to send a signal or something.

Andrew: Oh yeah.

Eric: Is that really likely?

Jamie: It could be, but you’d have to be able to use any mirror then in that case, because I doubt that Harry’s mirror would automatically have a charm on it.

Andrew: Mhm.

Eric: Oh.

Jamie: Okay, question number four. Actually, we’ll skip question number four. It was going to be do other people use them, but it was kind of covered in one and two.

Okay, No. 5 – this isn’t really a question, it’s just something I noticed: There seems to be quite a
lot of importance in the series as a whole on mirrors. So, you’ve got –
obviously, the Mirror of Erised, you got the Two-Way Mirror we’ve been
talking about, The Foe-Glass that Moody has, which obviously is important
when Dumbledore and McGonagall burst into the room. You’ve got the mirror in
The Burrow that gives grooming advice and the mirror in The Leaky Cauldron
that commented on Harry’s hair, and said, you know, “You’re fighting a
losing battle, there kid,” or whatever it was. So, I mean, obviously, we’re
going to see the Mirror of Erised again. Well no, actually – or are we? No,
we aren’t – or are we? I can’t remember.

Eric: I don’t think so.

Laura: I don’t think we’ve ever heard anything about that.

Jamie: Oh. Well, that completely…

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Guys, are we due up to see – I’m not going to choose a subject, ’cause I
like it a lot – but are we due up to see the Ford Anglia again? Didn’t Jo

Laura: Yes.

Jamie: We are, yeah, yeah. Sorry. Yeah, I think that’s what I was thinking
of. Not the Mirror of Erised.

Ben: Harry’s going to run over Voldemort and back right over him.

Eric: Yeah.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Eric: [still laughing]: Wasn’t there a mirror that said – Harry said
“I’m not going to die today,” or something, and the mirror’s like “That’s
the spirit, dear.”

Jamie: “That’s the spirit, dear.” Wasn’t the that one in The Leaky Cauldron
as well?

Eric: I’m not sure. There was one in The Burrow.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah it did. Yeah.

Laura: Yeah, it was the one in The Leaky Cauldron.

Eric: I think that was the one in The Burrow.

Ben: Don’t you know how like, in the Wizarding world things are special, and
how the pictures move? So, maybe it’s the same thing with all mirrors – can
talk to you.

Jamie: Oh yeah, it could be.

Eric: I don’t know, though. It’s not like the – speaking of Beauty and
the Beast
again – the wardrobe in that one. That’s what I imagine when I
think of you know, “Tuck your shirt in, scruffy,” or whatever. I imagine the
wardrobe woman was like, you know? But, these – I’m not quite sure. That’d
be a little freaky if all your mirrors could talk to you.

Jamie: It would be.

Eric: Like they were watching you or something.

Jamie: But, it does show, though, that they’ve been used extensively. I
mean, the first book, obviously it’s pivotal. But the Two-Way Mirror could
have been pivotal as well.

Eric: Yeah, some of them have voices. So, that’s really weird.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Like, I mean we could ask the same question about the mirror in
The Burrow that gives the grooming advice.

Jamie: Oh yeah, definitely.

Andrew: Is it commercially available, or is it enchanted like a lot of the stuff in the Weasley household is by Mrs. Weasley?

Harry’s Fault Sirius Died?

Jamie: Okay, Question number six: Assuming using the Mirror would have saved
Sirius’ life, is it Harry’s fault he died?

Eric: Oh, Harry guilts himself enough. No, it’s not Harry’s fault he died.

Laura: No.

Ben: No.

Eric: But, that’s not to say it doesn’t absolutely suck that Harry was a
little bit you know, on the noble side and he didn’t use it to check on
Sirius when he had the vision.

Jamie: But he could’ve warned him.

Laura: Yeah, but Sirius was also on the noble side. He was told to stay at
Grimmauld Place, and didn’t.

Andrew: Mhm.

Jamie: No, he didn’t, but after Harry you know, saw him lying in the
Department of Mysteries, Voldemort you know, standing over him –

Eric: He should have checked.

Jamie: He could have checked with him easily.

Laura: Yeah, but he never opened the package, so he didn’t know that the
Mirror was in there.

Jamie: Are you sure?

Laura: Yeah, he didn’t open it until after Sirius died.

Jamie: Oh, oh, right, okay. Of course, okay.

Andrew: Yeah, he totally smashed it.

Eric: Didn’t he go into… I haven’t gotten there yet in the book I’m reading, but didn’t he ask Kreacher where Sirius was or something?

Laura: Yeah, Kreacher lied. [laughs]

Eric: Kreacher lied. Ah, I hate Kreacher.

Jamie: Didn’t his mum tell him that you don’t lie?

[Eric laughs]

Jamie: Very, very bad.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: They’re pure-blood. I don’t think they would have said anything, so…

Jamie: Maybe not. Well, it’s very disappointing, I must admit.

Eric: [laughs] So, it’s bad up-bringing, then. Are you on Hermione’s
side with Kreacher, that he’s really a nice chap.

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: Yeah. He’s just misunderstood. He’s just misunderstood. You know?

Laura: Deranged.

Jamie: But, okay, it isn’t Harry’s fault he died, but do you think this
could be significant now in the series? That it’s just one more thing that
Harry blames himself for, it’s one more thing he has to revenge.

Laura: Well, of course.

Jamie: It’s one more thing that could empower him.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: It’s just something that could have been different, you know? It’s
just, I don’t know – I’d like to find out if he’s going to Reparo the
Mirror and use it again.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: Kind of like the mysterious – I mean, it wouldn’t be entirely out of
hand considering The Marauder’s Map just suddenly appeared in Book Five
after it was supposed to be in Imposter Moody’s office. You know, stuff like

Laura: Well, didn’t Jo say that we would see the Mirror again?

Eric: The Two-Way Mirror?

Jamie: What, the Two-Way Mirror?

Ben: Yeah, she did. She did.

Eric: She did? Oh, wow.

Jamie: All right, well, that leads very nicely into Question 10 – skipping a
couple of questions…

Andrew: Well, wait.

Jamie: What?

Andrew: If we saw the Two-Way – if we’re seeing it again, doesn’t that mean
there’s more than one since Harry smashed his?

Jamie: No, no.

Andrew: Unless it’s repaired.

Eric: Well, Reparo.

Jamie: Harry could. Yeah, yeah.

Andrew: Or he’ll just run into where it’s briefly mentioned. [laughs]
“Harry saw the Mirror.” [still laughing]

Jamie: Harry could step on the shards accidentally, and there we are. We’d see
it again.

Contacting Sirius

Jamie: No, but it leads into: Will it contact Sirius from beyond the

Eric: Depends, if he had his mirror with him. [laughs]

Laura: Yeah. In the book…

[Jamie, Eric, and Laura laugh]

Eric: Is that a mirror in your pocket?

Jamie: That’s awesome I didn’t even consider that.

Laura: In Order of the Phoenix, didn’t it say something along the
lines of “Harry said it wouldn’t work because Sirius didn’t have his mirror
with him when he fell through the veil”?

Jamie: Yeah, he’s like “Excuse me, Bellatrix, do you think you could you
just wait one second?”

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: “I have to go and get my mirror.”

Ben: Hold on, hold on though. Wouldn’t – I was under the impression that these
mirrors were tiny and they could fit into your pocket. I didn’t think they
were ones that you hold in your hand. When I thought of a Two-Way Mirror…

Eric: Well, you have to put it in your pocket from your hand, Ben.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: They’re like, hand-held, but they’re not huge is what I think we’re
saying. Like they are pocket – they are pocket mirrors.

Jamie: I think they probably are. But, so yeah. I think we’ve got to
conclude there that he [laughs] could contact Sirius from beyond the
grave…if he’s got his mirror with him.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Well, that’s the question. Why did Sirius – do you guys remember this?

Laura: That’s kind of gross.

Eric: Did he just walk out? Was he just tired of waiting? Like, how did he
get to the Department of Mysteries?

Laura: He came with the rest of the Order.

Eric: Oh, he came with the rest. Because they… Yeah. Okay. So…

Jamie: He got a bus.

Eric: Right.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Eric: No, the Knight Bus, though, you know Stan Shunpike is mentioned in every book since Book Three?

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: Yeah?

Eric: That’s just one of those other weird things.

Andrew: That’s not every book.

Eric: It is every book.

Laura: Every book since Book Three.

Andrew: Since Book Three.

Eric: Since Book Three. It’s, you know…

Andrew: So what?

Eric: Well, that’s just one of those…

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: It’s like Aberforth – somebody sent in a rebuttal to me saying that Aberforth was hinted at since Book Four, and I think, well, Stan Shunpike is the same way, and these things are leading somewhere, obviously.

Jamie: Perhaps.

Andrew: Yes.

Breaking of the Mirror Symbolic?

Jamie: Yeah. Okay, question number eight, now. I think we’re going backwards. Is the breaking of the mirror symbolic?

Eric: Yes, because seven years bad luck…

Ben: Seven years of bad luck…

Laura: … Bad luck [laughs]

Eric: It’s the seven years bad luck, and it’s the seven years of Harry Potter.

Jamie: Seven years of bad luck? It’s a bit late isn’t it? Him breaking it in Book Sox.

Laura: [laughs] That’s true.

[Laura and Eric laugh]

Jamie: Should’ve broken it in Book Once. But, yeah, because it was kind of – I can’t remember exactly, because I haven’t read it for a while, but didn’t he break it and Jo wrote a sort of purging of emotion there, that he sort of, he broke it and then that was it. And then, you know? I don’t know.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: I don’t know how to say it. Like a kind of, “Harry threw the mirror, it broke into a thousand pieces, and he stood there staring into space, thinking, ‘What am I going to do with my life?’…..like that.

Andrew: Does anyone know where in the book it is? Because I have the book.

Laura: It’s in…

Jamie: The end, presumably.

Ben: Order of the Phoenix.

Laura: Yeah, it’s…

Andrew: No, I know that.

Laura: It’s in…

[Ben laughs]

Laura: …the very last chapter, I think.

Jamie: It’s before Sirius dies. He breaks the mirror because Sirius has died, before he dies. [mutters] Andrew, just go before it, quickly.

Laura: [laughs] What?

Andrew: No I…

Eric: Hang on.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: [laughs] I love being stupid.

Andrew: Wait, it’s in the last… Oh.

Laura: Yeah, it’s right before he goes and finds Luna, and she’s saying that all these people stole her stuff.

Eric: “He looked around to make sure there was nobody else there. The dormitory was quite empty. He looked back to the mirror, raised it in front of his face, with trembling hands and said, loudly and clearly, ‘Sirius.’ His breath misted the surface of the glass. He held the mirror even closer, excitement flooding through him, but the eyes blinking back at him through the fog were definitely his own. He wiped the mirror clean again, said till every syllable rang clearly through the room, ‘Sirius Black.’ Nothing happened. The frustrated face looking back out of the mirror was still definitely his own. ‘Sirius didn’t have his mirror on him when he went through that archway,’ said a small voice in Harry’s head. ‘That’s why it’s not working.'”

Eric: Well he doesn’t know that for sure, but…

Ben: Well, what Harry’s going to do, is he’s going to go to the veil and just throw…

Laura: Just throw in the mirror…

Eric: Throw in the mirror.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Mirror. Turn this on, loser. You forgot this.

Jamie: No, no – he calls…

Eric: He says, Sirius, you forgot this. You forgot your mirror.

Jamie: [laughs] He calls Sirius Black and it goes, “I’m sorry, the person you are calling is dead.”

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: [imitates telephone’s unrecognized number tone] “The person you are calling is beyond the veil right now.”

Jamie: “The person you are calling is dead.”

Andrew: It goes on to say, “Disappointment was burning in his throat. He got up and began throwing his things pell…” Pell-mell? Never heard of that.

Laura: Pell-mell. [laughs]

Andrew: “…into the trunk, on top of the broken mirror.”

Eric: “Then an idea struck him. A better idea than the mirror.”

Andrew: [laughs] Is this popcorn reading?

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: [laughs] Yes, it is popcorn reading. I’m glad – it’s good use of the term, too. You understand it. That’s good. At least if you’re going to make fun of it.

Andrew: Yeah, I know. I did it when I was in, like, fifth grade.

Eric: Okay, good. More importantly…

Jamie: That’s the end of our main questions.

Andrew: [sighs] So…

Eric: Hurdle across to – hang on. Wait!

Andrew: So, really, Harry is just assuming that it’s…

Jamie: That, er…

Andrew: …that he doesn’t have the mirror with him.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: So, potentially, he could still have the mirror with him.

Jamie: He could do. That’s if he is still alive, of course. It’d be quite hard to work it if he’s dead.

Eric: “He just hurled the mirror back into the trunk, where it shattered. He had been…” Wait! “He had been convinced for a whole shining minute that he was going to see Sirius, talk to him again.” Isn’t this like being convinced for a whole couple of minutes that he is going to live with Sirius?

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: That’s a good…

Ben: It’s almost like when he was convinced for a couple minutes that he saw his dad.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: That’s true.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: That’s actually true.

Jamie: It’s all these moments of…

Eric: All these moments of false happiness.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: That one can only just have, you know?

Jamie: Pickle.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: Pickle.

What If…Harry Had Used The Two-Way Mirror

Jamie: So, I think we have covered the further questions in the main questions, really. So, should we go on to “What if?” Okay. What would have happened if Harry had used the two-way mirror and spoken to Sirius? Would Sirius still be alive? And would the prophecy have been smashed? And would all of Dumbledore’s stuff have been chucked about and [laughs] – and, smashed, or what?

Eric: [laughs] I think – it’s a question, because I think he would have gotten a direct line to Sirius through the mirror. He wouldn’t have had to – he wouldn’t have believed Kreacher that he was gone, and that kind of stuff. So, obviously they wouldn’t have that confrontation, but you struggle to think that in times of – in situations would Harry have really thought to use the mirror? But…

Jamie: Well, exactly. Yeah.

Eric: Once as he thought to search for Kreacher, when he went through the fireplace, or whatever, for that, so it only makes sense that he would’ve thought of the mirror, if he knew what it was, and probably used it. So, I’m inclined to say he would have found Sirius would be all right. But then that’s the other question: can really – so much happened that night, it was just like. Eventually I think they would have had to wind up at the Department of Mysteries, the question is: would Sirius be dead?

Jamie: No. Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: That’s true, too. Considering he didn’t take it with him.

Jamie: It’s just like a cell phone. It’s just like a cell phone. It rings and you take it out, but instead of putting it to your ear you just stare into it.

Andrew: Yeah.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: It’s like Skype video.

Jamie: Yeah, it is.

Eric: No, just staring at it would do the trick.

The Guilt

Jamie: Yeah, it would. Okay, “What if” number two: Will Harry’s guilt over not using it impact events in Book Seven? Already talked about that.

Andrew: He has guilt over a lot of things.

Jamie: Laura you think it will, right?

Eric: I think all of his emotions will just work in Book Seven. It’s… You know?

Jamie: Laura, you had a good point about this before. That it isn’t his fault that Sirius died, but it’s going to…

Laura: Well, yeah. It’s going to add to his motivation to succeed…

Eric: Yeah, just as long as no one’s saying…

Laura: …to avenge Sirius.

Eric: As long as no one’s saying, “Give yourself to the dark side”, I’ll be okay reading Book Seven.

Laura: What?

Repairing The Mirror To Contact Sirius

Andrew: So, let’s draw some conclusions here. Could Harry possibly repair his mirror in order to recontact Sirius?

Jamie: Yes.

Eric: Yes.

Andrew: Because JK Rowling has made it clear that… Okay.

Laura: Sure.

Ben: …things can be repaired…

Jamie: It’s just like a thousand piece puzzle…

Andrew: It could appear in Book Seven again…

Eric: God, when does that – oh, wait! That’s another thing: the Ford Anglia. That’s why Harry has to go back to Hogwarts, because that thing is still in the forest, and we need to see it again.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Ben: Okay, whatever.

Jamie: [laughs] Okay, go on Andrew, do you want to move onto dating?

MuggleCast Dating Service

Andrew: [laughs] Sure, let’s move on now to the MuggleCast Dating Service. You know…

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: …it has been a pretty surprising success, and we’re trying to get a couple of people together on dates, and [in weird, deep voice] I don’t want to spoil the surprise.

[Laura and Andrew laugh]

Andrew: But I’ll tell you right now it’s going to be a whole lot of dating.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: But… So we’ll have another update on the dating service next week, because we’re trying to get some cute little relationships worked out.

Discussing Chapter-by-Chapter

This week we are going to try a brand new segment that we didn’t even talk about next week – er, last week. And, by the way, hate to do it to everyone but Chapter-by-Chapter is getting pushed back again. Probably until next week. But, Eric, you’re going to New Zealand when?

Eric: Next Sunday. Eleven days.

Andrew: So…

Eric: Yeah, I was thinking about that. How’s the first week in October for everybody?

Jamie: Sounds fine.

Laura: Sounds good to me.

Eric: But…

Andrew: [in high pitched voice] Good. Yay, pickle!

Eric: But, but, but, but you guys have got to agree that it’s going to have a structure. I’m going to be doing this outline, we’re all going to agree on it, and we’re all going to participate. Is that correct?

Jamie: As long as we don’t – as long as it doesn’t take half an hour, yeah. Because it…

Eric: Okay.

Jamie: I think it is very good when it doesn’t drag out. When it drags out it gets old very quickly. So I think we…

Eric: Well, yeah.

Andrew: That’s why it’s got to get structured.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: So as I said, each of these has a different feel to it. Each of them will need a different outline that suits the book.

Jamie: Okay, fair enough.

Debate: Should Hogwarts Stay Open?

Andrew: Okay, so we are going to do a brand new segment this week, which we’ve been actually thinking about for a while. We don’t even have a title for this new segment this week, so we’re just going to call it Debate. Ben, why don’t you explain this new segment?

Ben: Well a long, long time ago I said…

Jamie: In a galaxy far, far away.

Eric: Far away.

Ben: …Far, far away. Everyone knows me as the debate guy, I’m on my high school’s debate team, kind of won State last year, you know?

Laura: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ben: So I thought, “Let’s have a Harry Potter debate.” Here is how it works. Each week we’re going to be debating a resolution and those of you who participate in high school debate will know what I’m talking about, but anyways, this week, for example, is going to be…

Andrew: [laughs] Anyone who doesn’t is screwed.

[Jamie and Eric laugh]

Ben: …Hogwarts. Just listen, just listen. This week is going to be “Hogwarts should be open for Harry’s seventh year.” Okay? There will be an affirmative team, which affirms resolution, which argues, saying that Hogwarts should be open. And on that side, this week, is going to be Jamie and myself. And then there will be the negative team which says Hogwarts shouldn’t be open, which is Eric and Laura. And something that I need to remind everybody of – everyone that is arguing, Andrew who is going to be our judge, and the people listening to the show: it is not an argument over whether or not Hogwarts will be open, it’s an argument whether or not Hogwarts should be open, which definitely opens it up to a lot of interpretation.

And so here is the format: the affirmative team, Jamie and myself, gets two minutes to present our case uninterrupted. The negative team will get two minutes to do the same. Following that there will be five to ten minutes of open discussion, where each side will get to ask each other questions and respond openly to each other’s arguments. Then at the end each side, starting with the affirmative, will get one minute to tell you why you should vote for them. Andrew, who is going to be our judge, will decide who he thinks should win the round, and this will count for 25 percent of the vote. The other 75 percent of the vote will be based off the listeners, with a poll on mugglecast dot com. So, is everybody ready?

Laura: Sort of.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Andrew: Yay!

Ben: Sort of? This is intense.

Jamie: You go first, Benjamin, because you’ve…

Eric: We’re kind of… [laughs]

Jamie: …dusted before and we haven’t dusted.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Andrew, Andrew are you timing?

Andrew: Yeah, let me get up a clock. Okay, ready, set, go!

Ben: Okay. The first reason that they should keep Hogwarts open is because of safety. Because Hogwarts is this big safe haven where everyone can meet up, and if we have all these people and all the children in one place, particularly the protection of minors, we’ll be able to keep them safe from the Death Eaters, particularly if we have the Aurors stationed around.

The second main reason that we should keep Hogwarts open, is because by closing Hogwarts it is essentially admitting defeat. It’s letting the bad guys win. So, it’s quite clear that we should keep Hogwarts open for those two reasons. Specifically ,the safety, and because it would be admitting defeat. Like in the war on terrorism, if we were all to go and become hermits and hide in our houses, it just wouldn’t make sense because it would be like saying the terrorists win. And so, the people at Hogwarts, the Board of Governors, should not let the Death Eaters win. Now, go Jamie!

Jamie: Also it should be kept open because education will always remain important. However many wars there have been, there will still be children, there will still be children who will become adults. Everyone needs to be educated. You cannot – the war is important, it’s going on now, we have to win. However, Hogwarts has survived a thousand years, and it can survive a thousand more. And children still need to be educated all the time, so it has to remain open for that reason.

Ben: How long was that?

Eric: You guys have forty seconds left.

Andrew: A minute.

Jamie: Forty seconds left?

Ben: Forty seconds left? Oh, lets keep talking then.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: They have to be fools to close Hogwarts, just think about it.

Andrew: Thirty.

Ben: We have to be able to keep Hogwarts open because it’s a safe haven for everybody. Just think about it; why would you close down this educational facility…

Jamie: It’s a stronghold.

Ben: …when the next generation is going to be…

Jamie: Ben, Ben, it’s a stronghold, isn’t it?

Ben: Yeah. Especially ,during times of war. Parents…

Andrew: Ten.

Ben: … don’t have time to home school their students, their kids, so they’ll have to send them to Hogwarts, and it makes the most sense. Hogwarts needs to stay open…

Andrew: Three.

Ben: …and it should stay open.

Andrew: Two.

Jamie: Amen, brother.

Andrew: One. Okay.

Eric: That ended nicely.

Andrew: Argument from the…

Laura: Oh, hang on two seconds.

Andrew: …what was it called again? Negative side.

Laura: My only thing is that mine comes across as saying that it won’t be – I mean, I’m going to try to make it make as much sense as humanly possible. But, whatever.

Andrew: When you’re ready.

Laura: At the end of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, readers discover that they will not be seeing Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry again – at least not through Harry’s eyes. Unfortunately, it is doubtful that Hogwarts will be seen as a learning institution, at all in the final book of the series. Despite Professor Sprout’s unabashed optimism that if even one student wanted to learn, the school should remain open, it is not possible for Hogwarts to continue providing a formal education as it has been. The leading cause of this is the ongoing war outside the school’s walls. It must be remembered that war does not just affect people personally; businesses fail and economies struggle. Ollivander won’t be the first or last shop owner to disappear from Diagon Alley, so it’s not as if students can just stroll down the streets to the usual locations in order to buy books and supplies. Now that the wizarding world at large is taking Voldemort’s return seriously, parents won’t be looking forward to sending their children back to school, particularly after it was infiltrated by Death Eaters.

During times of war, people tiptoe. They don’t make large financial decisions, and education in a boarding school setting is going to take a backseat until Voldemort is rid of. That’s not to say that the Ministry won’t provide some sort of home study program in order to supplement students. A struggling economy does not lend itself to allow a small number of students to populate a large school such as Hogwarts. Besides, several of the Hogwarts teachers are Order members, and especially after Dumbledore’s death, they are needed now more than ever to continue the fight against Voldemort. Most people will be torn between two decisions: wanting to remain safe, or wanting to do their part to help in the war. It will be a very small number of students who wish to remain inside the school walls, while battles rage on outside of them. So, while it’s nice to daydream about the little school that could, Hogwarts should not facilitate an educational system during the course of the seventh Harry Potter novel because it can’t. [chokes] Thank you. [laughs] I just choked.

Eric: Oh my god.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: That was…

Eric: I just, okay, I have fifteen seconds to say, Laura. That was absolutely brilliant. Any doubts I had that our side might actually do good have been completely vanquished, and that is just amazing. Thank you. Three seconds to go. You saved my butt. Thank you so much. Winning team!

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Laura, I’m going to grill you harder than a well-done steak in a…

[Laura and Andrew laugh]

Andrew: Now, it’s time for the open discussion.

Ben: Okay.

Andrew: Go ahead.

Ben: Okay, I’ll start this off. Okay, Laura, you bring up the point that it’s not possible for Hogwarts to provide education, and that there’s an ongoing war outside of Hogwarts walls, and then you go on to mention that businesses and economies fail during times of war. However, isn’t it important to provide education for the students who are going to Hogwarts, now, to prevent future businesses and economies from failing?

Eric: Well, who said it takes intelligence to run business?

Laura: Yeah, exactly. And the thing is, while…

Ben: No, but it’s the same thing… It’s…

Laura: …this is…

Ben: It’s the same thing with our generation. If you don’t get your education now, you’re not going to be able to become a productive member of society.

Eric: That’s what the people say who…

Ben: You’re less likely to.

Laura: That’s not true. That’s absolutely…

Ben: You are definitely…

Laura: …not true.

Ben: Okay, look at the trends in society. Those who are more educated have higher salaries and are much more likely to become productive members of society. Don’t even tell me for one second that if these kids stay at home and don’t get their education, that they’re going to help out in some way.

Laura: But that’s not true. They can get their education at home. They absolutely can get their education at home.

Jamie: Aren’t we missing the vital point that, World War I, school stayed open. World War II, school stayed open. Even in world wars, you can’t lose sight of the fact that it’s a generational conflict. It isn’t… Until nuclear stuff comes out, and I don’t think Voldemort’s going to drop an H bomb on Hogwarts, you know? Until we’ve got mutually assured destruction in the wizarding world, there’s still going to be a generation after. There still is going to be… You still have to educate the masses. You can’t just stop providing welfare for this. That’s completely ignoring the fact that Hogwarts is the safest place in the wizarding world for things. It would be like immorally abandoning the children.

Eric: Is it that Dumbledore’s dead?

Laura: Is it anymore, though? Dumbledore’s dead.

Ben: No, but that doesn’t matter. Okay, what you have to weigh is, where are the students going to be safer?

Laura: It does matter…

Ben: No, listen. Where are the students going to be safer? At Hogwarts, where they can be under the protection of the Ministry of Magic, or at home, when…

Eric: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Jamie: And the teachers. And the teachers, as well…

Eric: The Minister is going to protect Hogwarts, first of all. And second of all…

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: …I actually think in their homes is safer, in some ways, because Hogwarts is a single target. If you want to go after Hogwarts, now that Dumbledore is gone…

Jamie: Stronger united than we are divided, Eric.

Eric: Yeah, well, no, that’s true, but in their separate little homes, Voldemort’s not going to go knocking at everybody’s door until the very end, where eventually everything will eclipse, and people can’t escape. But I’m saying, if want to go and destroy Hogwarts, you might be able to do it if you’re Voldemort, now, because Dumbledore is dead. So, if everybody – if all the students and everything are at Hogwarts, and Voldemort tries to take Hogwarts, it might be slightly easier than if they’re all in their little homes and villages as far away as Suffolk, and, you know?

[Jamie laughs]

Laura: Exactly. The Ministry is not going to want to have to protect such a large target.

Eric: But I think it’ll be easier to protect.

Jamie: I still think it’s the safest place to be, though. At home, you’re all – you’re so disunited there, you’ve still got all the teachers there. If you think teachers are going to be possibly the best wizards and witches, they’re the people who teach the students, you know? I just think that I would rather be there, living in a castle that’s protected by enchantments, living in a castle under the eye of teachers, living in a castle that has protection I don’t even know about, living in a place where we’re all together. You know?

Laura: Yeah, where Voldemort knows where you are.

Jamie: But he’d know where you are, anyway. He’d just goes to a house and says he’s going to be a…

Laura: Not if you went into hiding.

Jamie: Oh, right. Well, fine. Fine.

Ben: So you’re still…

Jamie: We’ll build a nuclear bunker then, and go down there, and…

Laura: Hey, people do it. People do it.

Eric: The problem with hiding – that’s the thing is these students aren’t going to be the ones fighting the war, which is why I think it’s okay for them to go home, go into their homes…

Jamie: Okay, Eric.

Eric: …and be okay, because it’s not like you’re hiding and waiting for Voldemort to take over, because in certain ways these students would just be students of learning. I think learning is very important, but, at the same time, the people who are fighting the war against Voldemort will be the ones who make the advancements, will be the ones who stop him. And, actually, going into hiding isn’t necessarily letting the bad guys win, in this case…

Ben: Yes, it is.

Jamie: It is.

Laura: No, it’s not.

Ben: It totally is. Listen…

Eric: The people who were fighting Voldemort will remain fighting Voldemort. They aren’t the ones who will go into their homes. The people who are going into their homes…

Ben: I know, but when something begins to – when you let it affect the everyday lives of your citizens, is when you let the bad guys win.

Jamie: Exactly. You’re completely admitting defeat when, you know, when you do that. After this war is over – and it will end, obviously – there are going to be children having no direction, nowhere to go. I’m sure if – especially, I doubt that every other wizarding school in the world is going to close down. You can’t – one school closes down…

Laura: Yeah, but is every other…

Jamie: …it’s going to look terrible, as well.

Laura: Is every other wizarding school in the world such a big target as Hogwarts is? Because it’s been said from day one…

Jamie: They’re still centers. They’re still centers.

Laura: …that Voldemort would take over Hogwarts… No, it’s been said from day one that Voldemort would take over Hogwarts and turn it into a school of the Dark Arts if Dumbledore wasn’t there.

Jamie: But if they close down Hogwarts…

Ben: But I think it’s important…

Jamie: …then he’ll take it, anyway. It’s like giving it to him. They might as well wrap it in a…

Laura: Yeah, but at least then he doesn’t have a school full of students to take over.

Jamie: But then he has it permanently. He has it permanently.

Ben: Okay, something else that’s important to point out is that there is no other alternative to education. Home…

Laura: That’s not true.

Ben: Home study programs – what do you do? No, it’s been proven that they have to have some instruction how to do these spells. You can’t get everything from just reading a book. That’s not how it works, and when you have parents who are off working, you can’t just give the children a book to read at home and expect them to be able to just do magic right away. They have to have a place to get their education, and it makes sense for Hogwarts to stay open. As Jamie said before, Voldemort is only the worst wizard in the past hundred years and Hogwarts has been open for thousands of years, so it’s been open through previous wars. It doesn’t make sense to close it just because of the fact that Voldemort’s out on the run. That’s admitting defeat. That’s saying we should all go hide inside of our homes…

Jamie: Exactly.

Laura: It’s not. It’s absolutely not.

Ben: No, it is. No, it is. I’m drawing the parallel of 9/11 again, but after the terrorist attacks, it’d be like saying we shouldn’t have football games because all these people are…

Jamie: We shouldn’t fly in planes as well. We shouldn’t fly in planes.

Eric: Well…

Ben: We’re still going to have the football games. We shouldn’t fly in planes. We should just stop. We should all go hide in our basements because of the fact that Osama Bin Laden’s after us. It doesn’t work like that. People need…

Laura: People aren’t hiding, Ben. Are you telling me that you think all of the people on Harry’s side from school aren’t going to go out and fight against the Death Eaters? Because I think they are.

Jamie: No, of course they won’t.

Laura: I don’t think they need school.

Ben: What are they going to do? They need to have their education first. They’re going to be worthless against a bunch of adult wizards…

Laura: No, they don’t.

Ben: …who have had their education.

Eric: They’ve had their education. Dumbledore’s Army…

Ben: Hogwarts needs to stay open so that they can learn.

Laura: Yeah, don’t you see the point behind Dumbledore’s Army, at this point? Those students learned way more in Dumbledore’s Army…

Ben: Right, but there will be no more Dumbledore’s Army.

Laura: It doesn’t – they don’t need Hogwarts…

Ben: There’ll be nothing.

Laura: …to have Dumbledore’s Army.

Jamie: Of course they do!

Laura: No, they don’t. That was clearly exhibited in Book Six.

Jamie: This is so, this so, you know, Dumbledore’s Army, it’s a thing of students who are going to go and take on the Death Eaters and emerge victorious. It isn’t a fairy tale. They’ll go over there and half of them will be killed. Those two sisters, whose younger brother was killed by Greyback, they are not going to want to fight a war like this. They’re going to want to stay in the school and watch the news and see what’s going on from that perspective. You can’t just completely close down their social hub just because there is a war going on, you know.

Laura: I don’t know…

Eric: Because that’s why Harry’s…

Laura: I think if my little brother were killed by people I’d want to go out and fight the people that did it.

Eric: And that’s exactly why Harry is leaving Hogwarts.

Ben: That’s your mentality…

Jamie: Exactly…

Ben: … but you also have to think about the fact of what’s going to be better for the students? What are they going to think is better for them: stay at home and have a chance of being killed, or go to school, have fun with your friends, and face the same chances?

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: I think Hogwarts is safer. Even though Hogwarts has been infiltrated in the past with the Vanishing Cabinets, don’t you think security is going to be so much more tighter? It’s like saying after 9/11, that they’re going to use the airplanes again. It’s not going to happen.

Laura: Yes, but see there’s…

Ben: Security is so tight. They’ve already broken up attacks with the airplanes. It’s the same thing with infiltrating Hogwarts, they’re not going to be able to do it again. They’re going to attack some other way, and I don’t think that…

Laura: Exactly. They will attack another way.

Ben: …they should close down Hogwarts.

Laura: It’s just like – you bring up 9/11. People are afraid of the security of subways and trains because people are more focused on planes, now. People are – they’re going to be more focused on the secret passages into Hogwarts now. I mean, there’s going to always be a weakness, and…

Ben: But…

Laura: …the worst thing that you can do…

Ben: But at the same time, the people at Hogwarts are going to be concerned about those places too.

Laura: Sure, they will, but there will always be weaknesses. There are always going to be places where Death Eaters can get into the school, and the worst thing that they can do is assemble thousands of students there to be taken hostage.

Jamie: No, but it isn’t assembling them, they’re there already.

Eric: What Laura and I are saying, and I’ll put this into a nice little parody, a nice little story here…

Jamie: Well, thanks for that, Eric.

Eric: …is – you’re welcome – is that after 9/11, it significantly hurt plane travel. It didn’t – obviously it didn’t stop planes, but people were a little bit more wary of travel, and especially if they were planning a vacation to the Middle East, nobody does that anymore. [laughs] So, I think it’s a matter of just – obviously, we’re not flying. We are staying home instead of – say you were planning a trip to the Middle East. Obviously now you’re not going to go there because it’s a war zone, you could get killed. But at the same time, our leaders – Bush and everybody – are still fighting. They’re still sending troops over there, and the war is going on, but we’re in the comfort of our own home. We’re not over at Iraq fighting. You know, we’re not – say it’s being shipped to Iraq, just for a family vacation or something. You’re not going to do that because it’s a war zone, but you are at home, but our leaders are still fighting. The people who can win the war are still fighting the war, and…

Debate Continued

Ben: But Eric, here are the options that you’re faced with: you close down Hogwarts, you eliminate a place for education. You make it… You are bending to the bad guy’s will, and then, furthermore, we have to weigh that as we’re going to have this generation of people who are uneducated. What about the first-years – the incoming first-years? There’s always people at different levels of education…

Jamie: Exactly.

Ben: …within Hogwarts and it doesn’t make sense to close it down completely, to close it down. You have to weigh that up between that and the risk of Voldemort sieging Hogwarts, which doesn’t seem as likely because security is going to be so much more tighter.

Jamie: They’re going to have Aurors…

Ben: So much tighter…

Jamie: …all over the place.

Ben: …after what happened before.

Jamie: The place is going to be swarming with Aurors.

Eric: Yeah, but it was still so tight. If…

Laura: Yeah, the place was swarming with Dementors during Harry’s third year and Sirius Black still got in.

Eric: And that’s the thing – it was good enough for Dumbledore. Dumbledore had all his possible…

Jamie: Laura, Sirius Black is awesome. He could…

Laura: It doesn’t matter that he’s awesome. He was able to get past Death Eaters.

Jamie: He could… No, I don’t care.

Laura: Dementors, excuse me.

Jamie: Yeah, that’s different! Sirius Black found a way to get past them in the dog form, you know? It’s completely different. It’s…

Laura: No, it’s not completely different…

Jamie: Of course it is!

Laura: … because he was able to break their security.

Jamie: Of course it is. It’s completely different.

Eric: Under Dumbledore’s security measures, Death Eaters got in, and, as a result, he was killed.

Jamie: That is one…

Eric: Under Dumbledore’s security – they were good enough for Dumbledore. Dumbledore knew more languages than Harry had ever heard of. Dumbledore is one of the most powerful wizards ever…

Jamie: Was one of the most powerful wizards ever.

Eric: …and even he overlooked some of these things.

Jamie: Every – that isn’t a reason to close… That isn’t a reason to…

Laura: He was fooled by a student, basically.

Jamie: He wasn’t fooled by a student. He was fooled by the fact…

Laura: Yes, he was.

Jamie: …that he didn’t – that he hadn’t considered the…

Laura: Death Eaters got into his school due to a student.

Jamie: Because…

Ben: Okay, but that does not justify closing Hogwarts…

Jamie: It doesn’t even nearly justify it. It’s one…

Ben: It… You have to have…

Laura: They were going to close Hogwarts because one student died there. In Harry’s second year.

Jamie: Exactly, and they didn’t because they realized that you can’t…

Laura: They didn’t because Harry solved it. Harry went and retrieved Ginny from the chamber. They would have closed Hogwarts if Ginny had died.

Jamie: You can’t say that. That is – I disagree completely.

Laura: Yes, they would’ve. The school governors were going to close the school.

Jamie: Yeah, but they were…

Laura: That’s the whole reason that Harry was motivated – I mean, apart from the fact that it was Ron’s little sister.

Jamie: Until they’ve caught the thing – until they caught the person, that it an acute problem. This war is chronic.

Ben: Never-ending. It’s…

Jamie: It’s going to be – you cannot…

Ben: It’s a war of ideologies. You can’t say, you can’t signal an end, because there’s always going to be the bad guys.

Jamie: It’s just stepped up a bit. It’s just intensified. Exactly. You can’t… You are basically saying, “We cannot handle this situation. We are leaving welfare, we are leaving education so we can put everything into this war.” You cannot do that. As Ben said, the people going into their first years…

Laura: But that’s what they’ve been doing all these years. They’ve been putting mediocre Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers in place.

Eric: And the school was never the target. That’s the thing about World War II. Schools were – yes, schools remained in session, but schools weren’t the target.

Jamie: Eric, trust me, civilian targets were bombed. Schools…

Eric: I know.

Jamie: People died under tables all the time because of it.

Eric: Well, Jamie…

Ben: But the thing is, throughout the entire series, you hear about people showing up at home with the Dark Mark hovering…

Jamie: Yeah, exactly.

Ben: …above their house. And if the Death Eaters were going to do anything before, imagine how many students they could’ve killed, and how many they let go free. They’re only going for the main ones. That’s why Hogwarts has to stay open. Because…

Laura: No, because…

Ben: …they’re only going for the main ones. They’re not going to make a mass killing of a bunch of people they don’t even know.

Laura: Oh, yes, they would. Oh, yes, they would.

Ben: That’s not how they operate. They’re going…

Eric: They will. They’ll get to the main ones. They’ll get to the main ones.

Jamie: If… Okay, the thing…

Laura: They’ll kill anyone they have to who’s in their way.

Ben: If that was the case – Laura, if that was the case, then they would have done it in The Half Blood Prince, but they didn’t.

Laura: No, because those students were safe in…

Ben: Ad that’s my point exactly.

Laura: …their common rooms, and they had a common goal of killing Dumbledore that night.

Eric: Yeah, and the thing is, if you’re going to kill…

Ben: Well, their common goal is going to kill Harry. It’s not going to be…

Laura: No, they were…

Ben: “…let’s go here and just mess up all these students.” That’s not how it’s going to work, because…

Laura: Yes, because it causes the kind of discord that they’re looking for…

Ben: …they hate – they only hate a certain people.

Laura: …that makes them stronger.

Ben: No, they only hate certain people. They hate mudbloods, they hate Muggles. They’re not going to target the average pure-blood wizard. Only if you’re not on their side.

Eric: But if the average pure-blood wizard gets killed, they aren’t going to feel that sorry about it. If they’re all in a giant room, it doesn’t matter.

Jamie: If you’re going to die – if you are 100 percent, okay, going to die, okay? Would you rather die in your house, alone, or with everyone else who is your age, everyone who you’ve spent the last three years with at school? I would want to die with everyone else. I would not want to die alone…

Eric: Yes, but what would your parents want?

Jamie: …thinking we’ve given in and we’ve died.

Eric: But what would your parents want?

Laura: You take a risk of having a mass killing of students at Hogwarts and then the school will be closed forever.

Jamie: There’s always a risk. There’s a risk of a mass killing of a community, of a mass killing of a village or a city. There’s always going to be that thing.

Laura: Yes, so wouldn’t you rather…

Ben: You don’t see us breaking up…

Laura: Wouldn’t you rather split up the risk?

Ben: You don’t see us breaking up the communities.

Jamie: No, I would rather be there. If Voldemort is going to take the school, he is going to take the school. I would want to be there with everyone else still standing up…

Ben: And, also, something else…

Jamie: …standing up in my citadel.

Ben: Something else. What is going to be better? What is going to be more effective: having all these students together where they can be trained and be able to defend against the dark arts and actually have a chance against the Death Eaters, or have them be separate in their own households, where there’s going to be destroyed, and…

Eric: Who says they’re going to be trained?

Laura: How well can they be educated at Hogwarts, though?

Eric: Yeah.

Laura: Because half of the teachers are in the Order.

Andrew: Okay, we need the – time’s up.

Eric: That’s the thing…

Laura: Okay. Time’s up.

Eric: Half the teachers are in…

Eric: Well…

Ben: We each get one minute.

Eric: … I think that’s a final point.

Laura: Okay.

Eric: I think that…

Andrew: Time’s up.

Eric: No…

Andrew: Closing arguments. Hold on – Eric.

Ben: No, your time’s up.

Andrew: Eric! [laughs]

Ben: You can’t say anything more.

Eric: But Laura wasn’t done with her sentence and you said time was up and we had no warning by a couple minutes.

Laura: Yeah, but time’s up. Time’s up, we can’t say anything else.

Ben: No, time’s up, time’s up. Time’s up means you shut up.

Andrew: We extended it by like… [laughs]

Jamie: We extended it by about nine light-years. Anyway, come on.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] Closing arguments, Ben and Jamie.

Jamie: Ben.

Andrew: One minute.

Ben: Well…

Andrew: Go.

Ben: The first thing that I think is important to remember…

Jamie: Give me 30 seconds.

Ben: …is you have to weigh the fact that if these students do not go to Hogwarts, what’s going to happen is you’re going to create a whole generation of uneducated people, because we don’t know when this war is going to end, so the students have to go to get their education. Secondly, they are safer at Hogwarts. Hogwarts is going to be swarming with people from the Ministry. They’re going to be safer and they are stronger united than they are divided being in their own homes. Thirdly, it’s admitting defeat. It’s like saying, “Well, let’s just let the Death Eaters – let’s just let them win.” By going to their homes and being hermits – that’s ridiculous. So, Hogwarts should stay open. It has to stay open.

Jamie: It has got to stay open. As you said, there’s the only summing up thing – we are stronger united than we are divided.

Andrew: Twenty seconds.

Jamie: They have to stand together. They have to put a front up against Voldemort and challenge him. That’s it. And we have to educate our children and that’s as far as it goes.

Ben: Beautiful.

Andrew: Seven, six, done?

Ben: So… Yeah. Vote for Ben and Jamie.

Andrew: Laura and Eric, one minute, go!

Laura: All right. Students do not need the kind of formal education that Hogwarts provides to become educated enough to keep the economy going and to fight Voldemort. And frankly I think that kind of education is taking a back seat at this point because you don’t have to be together all in one place to be united. Students maintain strong bonds over summer vacations. Students can get together and do what they want outside of school. They do not need to be together in Hogwarts where they are going to be a single target. Not to mention the Ministry of Magic will have to put so many of their employees and so many of their forces at Hogwarts when they could be other places defending other people. Eric?

Eric: What kind of school are you going to have with all the good Order, all the people who know how to defend stuff are in the Order, are fighting the war. What kind of school would it be? I agree you’ll be together and you’ll be with your friends and stuff, but is that what your parents want for you? For you to be at the target. You know? Jamie said he wants to be there with his friends. Would his parents allow it? That kind of thing is…

Andrew: Five.

Eric: …happening.

Andrew: Well, that was a very good…

Laura: It got very heated.

Eric: No, it sucked. I can’t be on this side.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: I can’t even remember I was concentrating on that so much.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Laura, I…

Ben: Wasn’t that good?

Laura: That was good.

Jamie: That was actually quite good, yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: I am sorry I yelled at you guys. I do love you.

Andrew: Awww. Hugs all around.

Laura: I just…

Eric: Laura, you did well.

Laura: Thank you.

Andrew: Now, okay, now how am I doing this, Ben? Because I have little things to say, to point out. I have to sort of present my own case, don’t I?

Ben: Well… No, you can…

Andrew: Of why I chose the winner?

Ben: Yeah, do that and then you give us – tell us why you chose.

Andrew: Right.

Laura: Tell us how we’re wrong.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: I’m going to have to go… [laughs] I hate taking sides like this. I am going to have to go with Ben and Jamie because, because…

Jaime: Yeah! Yeah!

Andrew: Because… [laughs]

Jamie: I was going to call you a ******* if you didn’t.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Both sides brought up good points, but I think when we’re talking about whether or not the school should stay open, they presented more points for the school staying open. First of all, Laura and Eric both brought – well, Laura brought up that the school is penetrable and they were thinking of closing it, which is a pretty good argument because who is to stay the school can’t be penetrated in Book Seven again. However, Jamie and Ben brought up good points such as homeschooling won’t work because they need teachers for spells and if they close the school now, when are they going to decide to open it again if the war does not even in Book Seven? Although we can probably assume that it will. Also, with the school being open, there will be a huge amount of Ministry protection because it is going to be their butts on the line if they do keep it open and God forbid an attack happened. And they also brought up the point that Dumbledore’s Army is not prepared. And can you… I do not think that a lot of people in that Army would be able to go out and fight Death Eaters. I mean I think that is kind of absurd because they are Hogwarts student.

Laura: I don’t agree. Five members of Dumbledore’s Army went to fight Death Eaters at the Ministry of Magic.

Jamie: But, it’s like… It’s like…

Eric: And they did a good job.

Ben: But Laura, Laura, Laura, Laura, don’t argue with the…

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Pipe down. Pipe down, Laura.

Andrew: I’m talking about as a whole.

Jamie: You lose ten points for that, Laura.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: That’s, that’s what I had.

Ben: Okay, well now is the chance for you, the listeners, to vote.

Andrew: At home. [laughs]

Ben: So, go to www…

Andrew: Text message “Magic”. [laughs]

[Laura laughs]

Ben: Magic. Yeah. [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: Standard text messaging rates apply.

Ben: Go to www.mugglecast.com and regardless of what Andrew said – his opinion only counts for 25% of the vote. So, if you feel that Eric and Laura really did present the best arguments, please vote for them on MuggleCast.com. There will be a poll section where you will be able to see how to vote. And so, yeah. You count for 75% of the vote. So…

Andrew: And we’ll…

Jamie: Ben, I think it’s only fair to point out that we will be logging IP addresses and anyone who doesn’t vote for us will be banned from downloading the show in the future.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Ben: Yeah. [laughs] Just kidding. Just kidding.

Andrew: We encourage everyone to vote before Wednesday – before Wednesday night because that is when we record the show and we’ll announce the winner then. So, you’ll have three or four days to vote. So, go on MuggleCast.com and…

Ben: So, please – and remember, we’re asking for your fair and unbiased point of view. Please do not – if I’m your favorite MuggleCaster or Jamie is your favorite MuggleCaster, and you feel that we got, basically, blown out of the water, then please vote for them, because we don’t deserve it. Just because you like us, doesn’t mean you should vote for us. Vote for who you thought presented the best case, and who you thought won the real arguments. So…

Andrew: Very good.

Ben: Yep. I like this segment.

Andrew: Yeah, I like it.

Laura: I thought it was fun. [laughs] I want to do it again.

Jamie: That was awesome.

Eric: I still didn’t get to say my point.

Laura: Awww.

Andrew: If you have a discussion, a debate topic for us, e-mail it to mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com. This, “Hogwarts: Shouldn’t It Stay Open?” that was a very good debate topic. Hopefully we can keep doing this weekly.

Ben: And please, please create your topics in the form of “should,” just so we don’t get into in an argument over whether it actually will happen. If it’s arguments for whether it should happen, it gives both sides a lot more ground because, for example, here, we know that Hogwarts, most likely, is going to stay open. But, if I was to say to Laura and Eric, “Oh, you know Hogwarts is going to stay open,” then it wouldn’t leave them much ground for them to argue their side because they may say, “Oh, I guess that’s a good point and why would Hogwarts close?” That type of thing. So, we’re saying Hogwarts “should.” Please put the word “should” in there somewhere.

Dumbledore Facts

Andrew: All right, next up, Dumbledore Facts with Jamie Lawrence. [laughs]

Jamie: Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I just have to find them now, sorry.

Andrew: Did you see that one I sent you? I sent you a few, but one of them was hilarious.

Laura: My throat is dry from all of this debating.

Jamie: Oh god. Okay, can I just say that everyone – the response to this segment has just been absolutely fantastic. I’ve got so many e-mails detailing some extremely good Dumbledore quotes and some not so good Dumbledore quotes. But, yeah, thank you very much. So, I’m just going to find this one now. Okay, we’ll start off with one who, I don’t know who it’s from, oh, from Brian, 14, in Massapequa Park, New York.

“When Dumbledore approaches a Hippogriff, the Hippogriff has to bow to Dumbledore.”

Andrew: [laughs] Okay, why am I the only one laughing? [laughs]

Jamie: Because no one else understands this awesome…

Laura: Because I don’t understand. I[m sorry.

Andrew: Okay, I’m going to have to send you a YouTube video and then maybe you’ll understand.

Laura: Okay.

Jamie: Okay.

“They built the London Underground so it would look like the scar above Dumbledore’s knee.”

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: You know, that’s really good.

Jamie: Okay.

“Dumbledore makes the Dementors relive their worst memories.”

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: This is a weird one.

“If a Boggart met a Boggart, both would turn into Dumbledore and die of fear.”

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Okay, this one is…

“When Dumbledore looks into Mirror of Erised, he just sees Dumbledore.”

Oh, these are from Mattaius, who’s 20 from Sweden. Thank you very much, these are some of the best. I’ve got seriously so many, I’ve got so many.

“Upon hearing that he was played by Michael Gambon, Dumbledore killed Gambon. Dumbledore gets played by no man.”

[Eric and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: This is awesome. And this is sort of a non-Harry Potter one.

“If Dumbledore misspells a word, your dictionary is wrong.”

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Oh my god.

Andrew: I like it.

Jamie: I could laugh at these for – these are brilliant.

Andrew: I’m going to find a good Chuck Norris on Conan video and…

Jamie: Yeah, go on.

Andrew: …post it in the show notes, because those of you who don’t understand it, if you watch this segment on Conan that he used to regularly do, you’ll understand it. [laughs] It’s very funny because Chuck Norris is this tough guy.

Jamie: There’s one specifically for me.

“The Hogwarts kitchen bin tore all its muscles in its lower back when Dumbledore tried to lift it.”

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Jamie: Okay, that’s enough Dumbledore quotes for next week because too much of a good thing… We’ll be back next week with more and more and more. Please keep emailing them to me. They’re very, very funny and I love receiving them.

Crackpot Theory of the Week

Andrew: Yep, now time for another relatively new segment. The Crackpot Theory of the Week.

Eric: Yay.

Laura: Yay.

Andrew: Title not stolen from the Lost podcast with Jane and Jack. All right, so…

Eric: Yeah, really.

Andrew: …if you remember last week – they’re a very good podcast. If you remember last week, we asked you to send in your crackpot theories to pose to Eric, which he will try to defend as if his life was depending on it.

Jamie: Yeah. Yeah.

Eric: The key here…

Eric: Now, Is my life really depending on it?

Andrew: Yes, because we are going to send out…

Eric: Snipers lined up across the…

[Everyone laughs]

Eric” Yeah.

Andrew: The key to these crackpot theories is that they have to be feasible. They can’t be outrageous.

Jamie: Yeah, they have to be feasible.

Eric: Well, there’s a difference between crackpot theories and stupid theories.

Jamie: But also, Eric has to just launch into defending it completely.

Eric: I know, right?

Jamie: He can’t think, he can’t look at his books, it is just straight away for… How long is it for?

Andrew: This is going to be good.

Jamie: One minute or two minutes? Or do you think…

Andrew: Well, what should we do?

Jamie: One minute, one minute we’ll go for. One minute, I will give you a statement and you’ll have to do it – defend it. Okay, for one minute, are you ready? Eric, this is your crackpot theory of the week: Moaning Myrtle is a spy for Voldemort.

Eric: Okay. First of all, she guards – she’s strategically poised at the entrance of the Chamber of Secrets. So, she’s a spy for Voldemort because she can keep track of anybody – any goings in and out. She could also hold – thanks to Harry she knows how to open the Chamber of Secrets. So, I wouldn’t be surprised if when Harry found Draco crying over the sink, I think they were actually about to enter the Chamber of Secrets and plan a meeting together. But that was – obviously, Harry interrupted, got all moody. Pretty soon people were Sectum Sempraing and it got pretty nasty, but that was actually, you were witnessing the meetings between Moaning Myrtle and Draco, and they were both discussing the Dark Lord when Harry walked in.

Jamie: Pretty good for the first attempt, I thought, Eric.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah, it was not bad. First on the show.

Andrew: This was submitted by Stephanie, 17, of Newark, Delaware.

Eric: Pretty good, yeah. Should we go on?

Andrew: Should we read what her points were?

Jamie: Yeah. Go on.

Andrew: “She always seems to appear when Harry is trying to figure out something that relates to the Dark Lord; for example, brewing the Polyjuice Potion and discovering the clue for the second task in the Triwizard Tournament. Each appearance she makes, she seems to aid Harry somehow i.e., pointing him in the direction of the Chamber of Secrets, which would lead him into the grasp of Voldemort. I would love to hear you guys defend this, even though I think this theory is not exactly plausible.”

Eric: Also, I would say she is head-over-heels for Voldemort, but it’s not really funny.

[Jamie laughs]

Eric: She’s…

Jamie’s British Joke of the Week (sort of)

Andrew: Does anyone else have any other points going on? She might. She likes good looking young boys, I think.

Eric: Well, she was – she was into them so much she just…

Jamie: Yeah, no. Yeah.

Eric: She just dropped dead when she saw him.

Jamie: And Voldemort came around, and she looked a bit flushed.

[Everyone laughs]

[Andrew makes drum roll]

Ben: There’s Jamie’s British Joke of the Day!

Jamie: Yes! I don’t have to do one now! Yes!

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Do you have any others?

Jamie: No, I don’t.

Andrew: Do you have – oh, I thought we were only going to do one a week.

Jamie: Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah. One a week. One a week. No, no, no. One a – come on!

Andrew’s “Huh?! of the Week

Andrew: Okay. Now, it’s time for Andrew’s Huh?! of the Week.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

[Andrew clears throat]

Eric: You better…

Andrew: Got a frog in my throat.

Eric: One day, your voice is going to stick like that, Andrew.

Andrew: Huh?! Yeah, like that? Okay. laughs]

Eric: [in high-pitched voice] I’m Andrew Siiimmms! [laughs]

Andrew: Actually, it’s not an e-mail this week. It’s actually a web site. Every once in a while, I like checking out all the other Harry Potter fan sites out there, because, you know, I’m open. MuggleNet, Leaky – they’re great, but how about the little sites? They count, too, don’t they? [pauses] Nah, they really don’t. But, anyway…

[Eric laughs]

Laura: [laughs] Andrew!

Andrew: I like checking them out, and there’s one site called SpinnersEnd.com, and I thought this was pretty funny. They have a part of their site called, “The Truth About Fan Sites,” and they have little questions, you know, to answer people’s questions, like, “What does it really mean when a site goes on hiatus?” and stuff like that. They recently updated it. They have questions like, “Why do many sites constantly change the layouts?” and, “What’s going to happen to all the HP fan sites once all the books and films are done?” No! [Andrew pretends to bursts into tears] But, there’s another question here that I really like, and this is just funny. The question is: “Why does almost every HP fan site have a podcast now?” And their answer? [laughs]

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: “Simple. Because MuggleNet has one.”

[Everyone laughs and sighs “Awww”]

Andrew: And there you go! That is our Huh?! of the Week!

Laura: That warmed my heart. [laughs]

Other Harry Potter Podcasts

Andrew: But I thought maybe we could spend a couple of minutes talking about all these other Harry Potter podcasts out there. I don’t know what, exactly, but what do you guys think of all of them?

Jamie: Carpe diem.

Ben: They’re good.

Laura: How many has everyone listened to?

Andrew: Well, they haven’t listen to any of them, because [in a jokingly gruff voice] we’re so busy.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: But it’s just amazing how many podcasts there are [laughs] now relating to Harry Potter.

Laura: Well, I think it’s good because, as far as I know, I believe MuggleCast was the first Harry Potter podcast on iTunes.

Andrew: [imitating Woody Woodpecker] That is right, Laura! Ha ha ha ha ha!

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Laura: And I think that a lot of people were inspired by that.

Andrew: Yes.

Laura: And I think it’s a good thing. I feel very flattered.

Jamie: It’s just like…

Laura: I like it whenever people – actually, I know that some people over at MuggleNet Fan Fiction have started some little, small podcasts, which is pretty cool.

Andrew: Oh, wonderful!

Laura: I think it’s cute.

Andrew: Wonderful.

Andrew: Well, the sincerest form of flattery is imitation, yes? No?

Laura: “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.”

Andrew: That’s what I meant! [laughs]

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: If that – if that’s…

Laura: Good job, Andrew!

Andrew: But, I do have one little problem with all these Harry Potter podcasts. [jokingly sounds exasperated] Well, of course, there’s PotterCast

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: But there’s also RowlingCast, SpellCast, SnapeCast…

Eric: Oh, my gosh!

Andrew: SlashCast…

Eric: The names, people!

Andrew: DumbleCast…

Jamie: DumbleCast?

Eric: Come on!

Andrew: EnchantedCast, FlooCast…

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: …WizardCast, and I’m not making these up.

Eric: And don’t go on your Cast and say…

Andrew: Can people please…

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: VeelaCast, [laughs] PhoenixCast, HPCast – that’s original. You don’t have to put “Cast”…

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: …at the end of a noun for your podcast title.

Jamie: What? You mean like…

Andrew: Do what…

Jamie: HogwartsCast?

Andrew: Yeah. SlashCast, RowlingCast, SnapeCast, Harry Potter Podcast [laughs], whichever Cast you’re on.

Eric: And – and don’t go…

Jamie: They are Harry Potter podcasts, though.

Laura: They are Casts! That’s what they are. Why can’t they call them that?

Eric: But the fact is every, you know, the thing is, don’t go on your own Cast and say, “Oh, they mentioned us,” because at the same time, we’re just saying it’s kind of interesting. There are really good – there are a few Harry Potter podcasts that are actually – like Alohamora, or something along those lines – it’s not “Cast.” And there’s nothing wrong with “Cast.” As Laura said, you are Casts, and I’m sure, you know – I’m sure you all have great shows, but the difference is that everybody has sort of capitalized on this whole “Cast” thing.

Andrew: Right. That’s my point.

Eric: And it’s just like, well…

Andrew: So, what the Huh?!

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: How about there’s good ones, like Overflowing [mispronounces]Pen-ee-sives and Hogwarts Confidential.

Jamie: Oh, that’s good.

Andrew: Dumbledore Studies – clever names like that.

Laura: Did you say, “Pen-ee-sives”? [laughs]

Andrew: Pensieves.

Jamie: Pen-ee-sives! [laughs]

Eric: Pickle.

Andrew: I said, “Pensieves!”

Eric: Dumbledore’s Pickle.

Laura: [still laughing] No, you said, “Pen-ee-sives.”

Jamie: I think you may have said, “Pen-ee-sives,” Andrew.

Andrew: No, I didn’t!

Jamie: No, I think you may done it.

Laura: Yeah, you did! [laughs]

[Jamie and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Then there’s – so anyway… There’s ones like mudblood on the Air, Harmony Podcast.

Ben: That’s very, very nice.

Andrew: Fangirling [laughs] So anyway – oh and FilkCast – how could I forget? So, that’s all. I just wanted to bring that up. I thought that was funny. One again, Spinner’s End, “Simple, because MuggleNet has one.”

Chicken Soup for the MuggleCast Soul

Andrew: Now, moving along, we have Chicken Soup for the MuggleCast Soul to wrap things up. This comes from Christian, 18 of Hamilton, New Jersey. He writes…

Jamie: Oh wow, Ben.

Andrew: Or she.

Jamie: One more from New Jersey.

Andrew: Yeah, I know, another from New Jersey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. “My name is Christian…”

Ben: Coincidence.

Andrew: Listen, the smartest people clearly are from New Jersey. I don’t even look where they’re from before, I just look at the content.

Jamie: Of course you don’t. Of course you don’t.

Andrew: [laughs] I’m sorry, okay?

My name is Christian, I am 18 and I live in Hamilton, New Jersey.

Jersey represent Andrew. Jersey represent. Anyway…

I just graduated and started my first year of college down in Virginia. It’s about a 6 hour drive if there is no traffic. I went to a smaller high school in New Jersey where I was captain of the baseball team and soccer team. I was friends with just about everyone in my grade. I went from knowing everyone in a comfortable environment, to being thrown into a place six hours away from home and knowing no one. The first week was real tough and I listened to MuggleCast every day when I got lonely or whatever. I just wanted to thank you guys for being there even though you didn’t know you were. Keep on, keep on truckin’.

Laura: Awww.

Andrew: So, that’s very nice. That’s always very inspiring, when we get e-mails like that; saying that you were there for us, or me, but you didn’t know it…

Eric: [sings] I’ll be there for you.

Andrew: No! Why’d you have to pick that song?

Jamie: I was going to take, “Every night in my dreams I see you, I feel you.”

Andrew: What’s that from?

Eric: That’s Savage Garden.

Jamie: It’s not! It’s My Heart Will Go On!

Laura: [laughs] That’s Celine Dion.

Eric: Oh!

Andrew: [laughs] Savage Garden.

Jamie: [sings] Truly madly deeply do…

Andrew: Anyway…

Eric: I totally screwed that up.

Jamie: [sings] I don’t know the words so I’m just going to sing…

Andrew: Anyone got anything else? Anything?

Laura: Nope.

Andrew: Anything on your mind that’s really bugging you?

Jamie: Well, yeah.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: Gimme a Butterbeer, maybe?

[Ben Laughs]

Laura: Yeah, Ben. Where are the Butterbeers?

Andrew: Everyone wants to know.

Ben: Actually, thanks to Kyle for sending me a butterbeer. He actually sent me a Butterbeer.

Andrew: The one I forwarded you? Oh. [laughs]

Ben: An actual butterbeer. No, a real butterbeer.

Jamie: Yes. He e-mailed it and he pulled it out of his computer screen.

Andrew: Ben, I forwarded one to you.

Ben: No, I’ve actually already done that one before. It’s been so long that you don’t remember.

Show Close

Andrew: Hmmm, okay. Well, anyway, that wraps up MuggleCast Episode 54. Contact information. PO Box, Benjamin?


PO Box 223
Moundridge, Kansas 67107

Andrew: You can also call us. In the United States 1-218-20-MAGIC. That’s 1-218-62442. If you’re in the United Kingdom, you can dial 020-8144-0677. If in Australia, you can dial 02-8003-5668. We haven’t been getting many calls from the United Kingdom and Australia, because we can see what number they’re coming from, so feel free to use that number. We know there’s a lot of you out there. You can also…

Jamie: Or you can Two-way Mirror us.

Andrew: Yeah [laughs]

Jaime: Two-way Mirror us.

Eric: Yeah, Two-way Mirror us.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: I just hope we’ve got out mirrors on us at the time or you’re…

Andrew: [laughs] Channel Four. You can also Skype in a voicemail question or comment to our MuggleCast username. Just remember to try to keep your message under thirty seconds, blah blah blah blah blah. You can also e-mail us, mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com, or just go on MuggleCast.com for all that contact information, and a handy feedback forum. Also, I wanted to plug our Frappr Map because we haven’t in a while. We’re also working on a MySpace, and we do have a Facebook group that you can sign up for – er, you can join. There’s a good, what, 300 people on there right now?

Laura: MySpace? [sighs]

Andrew: Join the Frappr map and add you’re photos because…

Laura: MySpace…

Andrew: Because I was looking at everyone’s photos today. You’re an attractive bunch; every one of you. [laughs] And ummm…

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: But don’t add avatars.

Eric: Andrew, nice looking.

Andrew [Show Close with music in background]: That’s really lame and that just shows that you’re incompetent and don’t like how you look, and like I said, you’re all an attractive bunch. We’ve also got a new website in the works. That will be up soon. Take our listener survey and rate us on Yahoo podcast sites and all that good stuff. Once again I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: And don’t forget to vote on Podcast Alley. I’m Ben Schoen.

Jamie: And don’t forget to submit – to send in your…

Eric: I am…

Jamie: V is for Vendetta filks turned to MuggleCast to jamie at staff dot mugglenet dot com

Eric: Yes, you don’t want us to say verily this visage…

Jamie: No, you definitely don’t want to say that. Precisely. That is exactly what you don’t want to say. Okay. I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Eric: Right.

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

Andrew: [laughs] We’ll see everyone next week for Episode 55.

Eric: Bye!


Eric: Uh, are you okay saying yours after mine?

Laura: Yeah, it’s fine. Just whenever Andrew…

Jamie: Oh, the disorganization.

Andrew: Is this a tea party? Come on.

Laura: Okay, no! You know what!?

[Jamie laughs loudly]


Written by: Micah, Adrienne, Allison, Ally, Amanda, Eloise, Jessica, Judy, Mandie, Margaret, Martina, Megan, Roni, Sarah, Shannon and Shelly

Episode 54: Pickles and Tea Parties

  • Read the winning California lyrics here!
  • PO Box Update. Click here to see the sketch of the MuggleCasters.
  • Our new catch-phrase: Pickle.
  • We learn Jamie can talk really-really-super-super-lyk-omg fast.
  • California song winners and the sketch will be posted soon!
  • Main Discussion: the Two-Way Mirror.
  • Our brand new debate segment: SHOULD Hogwarts stay open? The group takes sides and goes at it.
  • More Dumbledore/Norris Facts.
  • See Walker Texas Ranger on Conan right here.
  • Crackpot Theory of the Week.
  • A spur-of-the-moment British Joke of the Day.
  • The truth behind the other Potter podcasts.
  • Celine Dion or Savage Garden?

Download Now
Running time: 1:21:16, 37.5 MB

Transcript 053

MuggleCast 53 Transcript

Show Intro

Rupert [Show Intro with music in background]: Hi everyone, this is Rupert Grint. This is MuggleCast, the number one podcast for everything Harry Potter. Take it away, Andrew!

Andrew: Thank you, Rupert! Episode 53, for August 27th, 2006.

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Hello everyone, welcome back to the show! I’m Andrew Sims.

Eric: I’m Eric Scull.

Jamie: I’m Laura Thompson.

Jamie: [at the same time as Laura] I’m Jamie Lawrence.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: [laughs] I’m Jamie.

Andrew: Nice. Nice, guys. And Ben Schoen is not with us because he’s late, as usual, and this week we just started – we decided to start without him.

[Jamie laughs]

Eric: Notice in…

Andrew: And…

Eric: …in the face of confrontation, Jamie’s last name just disappears…

[Laura laughs]

Eric: He’s just like, “Sorry! I’m Jamie,” then he leaves.

Jamie: Yeah. No, no. It isn’t really confrontation. It’s more of trying to build up a sort of personal relationship with everyone, you know how it is.

Andrew: Oh, right.

Jamie: I want – I think – I mean, I may even just shorten it to Jam next time, you know?

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Jam-Jam.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Now I’m not going to lie, I’m feeling kind of important tonight because I got a photographer right in front of me for the Philadelphia Enquirer, taking a – taking pictures for – what is it for again?

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: The “Coolest People Ever Cover Article”? Something like that.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Speaking of awesome people, Micah Tannenbaum is standing by in the MuggleCast news center with the past week’s top Harry Potter news stories.


Micah: Wow, Andrew, you sound a little different this week.

Some disappointing news for those of you who are looking forward to a good grudge match in the Order of the Phoenix film next summer – we’ve been informed that there is no storyline in the movie surrounding Ron’s Quidditch hardships, nor has there been any filming on broomsticks done by Rupert. We’re led to believe that this means there will be no Quidditch in the fifth film at all.

Mid-Day has an excellent new interview with Order of the Phoenix director David Yates, Potter actor Dan Radcliffe, and Cho Chang actress Katie Leung. In it, we learn Yates’ approach to directing the film, the kissing scene between Dan and Katie, and much more.

Yahoo! News reported earlier this week that Jessica Stevenson has been cast for the role of Mafalda Hopkirk, who works in the Improper Use of Magic Office at the Ministry of Magic.

And we have also received three more European release dates for Order of the Phoenix.

The film hits Belgium on July 11th, Denmark on July 13th, and Poland on July 20th.

Staying with movies, Goblet of Fire was awarded the “Choice Movie: Drama” award earlier this week at FOX’s Teen Choice Awards, voted on by teenagers across the United States.

As we reported back in March, the Goblet of Fire DVD set a world record for the largest selling DVD on its first day in the United States, which was roughly 5 million copies. There is a scan from the Guinness Book of World Records, which also includes a picture of Dan holding the certificate on the set of Order of the Phoenix.

And a few days ago, the nominations were announced for this year’s batch of World Soundtrack Awards. A song on the Goblet of Fire soundtrack called “Magic Works,” was nominated for “Best Original Song Written for Film.”

These winners will be announced on October 14th at the Flanders International Film Festival in Ghent, Belgium.

The Daily Record has published a new interview with actor Rupert Grint, who reveals that he recently failed his driver’s test. He also wants to continue playing Ron in the Potter series through the seventh film. And Yahoo! Movies recently posted the trailer for Rupert Grint’s latest movie, ‘Driving Lessons.’ The film will hit limited theaters on October 13th.

Tom Felton gave a small interview to the Junior Carp Tournament’s website. Tom talks about filming progress on Order of the Phoenix. He says that it is three-fourths of the way completed, and predicts that fifty percent of what he shoots will make the final cut.

Finally, as I did on the very first news one year ago, happy birthday to Ben Schoen, who turned 17 this past week.

That’s all the news for this August 27, 2006 edition of MuggleCast. Back to the show.

Andrew: Okay, thank you Micah.

Nicknames For Micah

Andrew: Some more names for Micah here – I think we did this one already.

Jamie: We’ve had this one…

Andrew: Micah-phone.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: “The Micah-chip”, “Micahtack”, “What I Micah About You” – that’s a new one!

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Mic-atomic bomb.

Eric: [laughs] Mic-atomic bomb.

Andrew: Just don’t stop.

Micah, Eric and Jamie Turn One-Year Old

Laura: Now Andrew, did you forget about the news this week? How it’s a year old now?

Andrew: Oh, how could I forget! [laughs] Thank you for reminding me!

Eric: So am I!

Andrew: I’ll bet Micah told you because he knew that I was going to – I was going to forget.

Laura: Yup.

Andrew: Am I right?

Laura: Yup. You are right.

[Eric laughs]

Jamie: What? I don’t get it.

Andrew: Micah Tannenbaum’s News is one year old, today.

Eric: Now wait, Jamie…

Jamie: Is that right? I see!

Eric: Jamie!

Jamie: Yeah?

Eric: Doesn’t this – this means you and I also turn one year old today.

Jamie: No, Eric, it means [singing 99 Red Balloons] You and I, in a little toy shop, buy a bag of balloons with the money we’ve got.

Eric: Shut up.

Andrew: It does, doesn’t it?

Eric: Because it was Episode 3? 4?

Jamie: I think it could be. It’s around that, yeah.

Eric: It was Episode 3!

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Oh yes, it was! You’re right! It was around three or four. Three or four, it was something like that.

Andrew: Yeah. And now we are – here we are a year later, and Micah’s still got – still kicking the news. So, thanks to him for his excellent weekly reporting.

Jamie: Dedication.


Andrew: Now let’s move on to – yeah. Let’s move on to a few announcements now. MuggleCast t-shirts: pick up your copy today, because they are running out quickly.

Jamie: Completely limited edition?

Andrew: Yeah, they really are limited edition now, and we’re going to be selling some new designs very soon. Also, don’t forget to vote for us on Podcast Alley. And California – we have lots of California updates. Unfortunately, Ben’s not here to read off the California song winners…

Jamie: ‘Cause he’s lazy.

Andrew: [laughs] I don’t know where he is, actually. But, California – I haven’t even told you guys yet. That’s how bad of a host I am. We are aiming for September 28 at the Borders in Westwood – the Westwood area of California.

Laura: Great!

Andrew: They’re very excited to have us, so mark your calendars now…

Jamie: Awesome, awesome, awesome.

Andrew: And we’ll have some updates on LeakyMug.com. Go there for RSVP and more information and all that. There’s Ben – now, hold on a second. The reporter’s here now, the reporter’s here now.

Laura: Okay, everybody.

Andrew: Welcome Toni. Say hi, Toni.

Toni: Hi, everybody.

Jamie: Hey, Toni.

Eric: Hi.

Laura: Hi!

Andrew: Ben just called me and said that he completely forgot. Which explains how he dedicated he is to the show.

Laura: Which is typical! [laughs]

Eric: We’ve only been doing the show for what, you know, over a year?

Jamie: A year-and-a-half.

Andrew: Right. Yeah. So, we’ll get lyrics next week for everyone.

Listener Rebuttal – Cedric’s Death

Andrew: Listener Rebuttals this week though, our first one comes from Julia, 16 of New York. She writes in response to minor versus major character death discussions on Episode 52. She says:

“While Cedric is not a major character, his death impacted Harry at that time nearly as much as killing off a major character like Sirius or Dumbledore does in the later books. Cedric’s death is the first death Harry experiences firsthand, and gives him the first taste of what fighting this war is really going to be like. He is put on guard, his friends and classmates are in very real danger. By having the first experienced death in the series be of a minor character, J.K. Rowling allowed us – Harry – allowed Harry to be more prepared. If Sirius had been the first witnessed murder, then it might have been a bit too much of a shock for us as well as Harry. Harry would have had to deal with the shocking grief that comes with watching someone die for the first time, along with the sadness that comes with losing someone he loves.

This is a long one.

Perhaps Cedric’s death desen – desensa…”

Laura, help me out here.

Jamie: Desensitized.

Andrew: “…Desens – desense – desensitized Harry enough that…”

Laura: Good job, Andrew. [laughs]

Andrew: “…after Sirius died he was able to get through his misery and depression enough that he could continue with his life…”

[Jamie laughs]

“…by starting off with a minor character death.”

[Jamie laughs]

“Rowling made sure things happened in the appropriate order. Cedric’s death missed the odds, Sirius’ murder caused a few tears to fall, and Dumbledore passing on caused more flat out sobbing.”

Good point brought on by Julia.

Jamie: And Ron kicking the bucket in Book Seven is going to cause some suicides among us all.

Andrew: Yes.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Laura: Yeah, but wouldn’t you agree that part of the reason Cedric’s death struck Harry so strongly was because of their close age? I mean, they were so close in age and the fact that Harry saw that no one was spared…

Eric: Agreed.

Laura: And even teenagers were being killed, and one person was supposed to die in the graveyard that night. And it wasn’t supposed to be Cedric, it was supposed to be Harry.

Andrew: And he saw the death. That was the first death that he saw. So…

Eric: Yeah. This can be you. You know. This will be you, almost.

Jamie: That’s true, but I think it reinforces the points that we were making that it’s a minor character, but it’s not a minor death. You know, it tells Harry a lot, this thing. So, you know, when Jo said that she wasn’t killing off minor characters, I don’t think she was particularly saying that every single character she kills is important, but every single death that she creates is important to Harry, and obviously as this person says, takes him on a journey, where it gets worse, and worse, and worse and shows that he’s in the middle of a war.

Laura: Agreed.

Eric: Right.

Andrew: And this was the first death that he had seen, you know.

Eric: Well, question: Do you think without Cedric’s death – I mean, in Book Five – I’m re-reading Book Five, and it seemed like you know, that the vast majority of the wizarding population doesn’t believe Dumbledore and Harry even though Cedric’s died. They just knew that Harry appeared from somewhere with Cedric dead. Do you think without Cedric dying they would have had no case and even less people would have believed Dumbledore and Harry?

Jamie: [thinking] Ummm…

Eric: Or would they have been able to prove successfully that Voldemort returned without the question mark of how Cedric died?

Jamie: Don’t you think that kind of makes it worse because you know, Cedric’s death – There wasn’t a mark on his body, obviously. They couldn’t prove anything. Harry just came back with this thing, and it could’ve looked like to the whole Voldemort coming back thing was just a cover-up.

Laura: That makes it worse for Harry.

Jamie: Yeah, exactly. But, I don’t know. It would be interesting to see. Perhaps we can do a “What If?” What happens if Cedric said, “No it’s okay, you have the cup. I’m going to go and take a break.”

Eric: Right. [laughs]

Laura: I don’t think as many students would have been on Harry’s side. I don’t think as many people would’ve come to the DA and that kind of thing.

Jamie: Yeah, probably not.

Eric: I don’t know. Cedric might not have – I don’t even think Cedric would have believed Harry. Or he may have, because he turns.

Laura: Well, yeah. Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: Well, I was talking about people…

Jamie: No, Eric. Eric, to be fair, he is dead. He won’t be believing much, you know.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Jamie: It’s just a minor point, obviously.

Eric: No, his final point… No, his final remarks, “Take my body back to the fangirls.”

[Jamie laughs]

Eric: You know, they were pretty sweet.

Laura: [laughs] Fan girls.

Andrew: Jamie, you want to take the next rebuttal?

Listener Rebuttal – Defense Against The Dark Arts

Jamie: Yeah, sure. This is from Kaitlin, 16, from Aberdeen in SD. Where’s…?

Andrew: What is that?

Jamie: What’s SD?

Andrew: Come on, American pop quiz.

Jamie: What is…

Laura: [whispers] South Dakota.

Andrew: South Dakota.

Jamie: Oh okay, South Dakota.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: I was like…

Jamie: You know, every single British place there’s a place called it in America, everywhere. Ridiculous.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: Anyway, the subject is DADA, Defense Against the Dark Arts.

“Because of the curse Voldemort put on the DADA position none of the DADA…

Ah, god, I can’t say it now.

…teachers have been able to stay for more than one year. I find it interesting that the DA only lasted a year as well. As a secret defense class, Harry acted as a DADA teacher. [laughs] Do you think that because Harry as a DADA teacher [laughs] the curse was a reason that he didn’t continue with the DA?”

Whew, god!

Andrew: Isn’t that kind of interesting?

Jamie: I have to take a break after that.

[Andrew, Laura, and Eric laugh]

Andrew: It wasn’t much. Don’t you think that’s kind of interesting? That’s why I put it in here.

Laura: Yeah. I thought that was interesting.

Jamie: Yeah. It is, but I don’t think you can call the DADA and the DA synonymous.

Andrew: Well, yeah.

Jamie: Okay. Let’s make a competition for the person who can send in the longest sentence composed of only DADA.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: That was like three sentences Jamie. [counting sentences] One, two, three, four.

Eric: DADA, PDA…

Jamie: No, I mean only DADA. DADA, DA, DADA, DA, DADA..

Andrew: Oh, okay. Is that another t-shirt giveaway?

Jamie: No, because I think Sam will get ****** off if I ask him to send one.

[Jamie, Andrew and Eric]

Listener Rebuttal – Mad-Eye Moody

Andrew: Good point, good point. [laughs] Next listener rebuttal comes from Taya, 16, from St. Louis.

“In the last show, you guys discussed the possibility of Mad Eye Moody becoming the next Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Although that would be really cool because he’s such an interesting character, he’s too busy with his business for the Order to spend his time teaching. No doubt he’s got a lot of places to go and things to do for the Order, but he wouldn’t be able to do his job at Hogwarts because he’d be focused on teaching. So I think it might be someone from the Order, but maybe someone more insubstantial. I love your show!”

Laura: I agree with that. I really do. I think that the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher in Book Seven is going to be someone that we know, but it will be someone insubstantial because Harry’s not going to be at Hogwarts. So, we’re not really going to need to learn all that much from that person.

Andrew: Right.

Eric: And again, it can’t be someone too important – too good at Auroring if it is an Auror that does the teaching, because they’re supposed to be, you know, helping the cause. They can’t be hold up at Hogwarts, you know, teaching.

Laura: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: Exactly, they can’t go and, you know, stop fighting the war but then say, “Oh well, I’ve got to be back to marks some books.” You know, it’s a full-time job. It’s a full-time job.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Actually, that’s like – I was watching this political satire program in the UK and they were talking about the “Territorial SAS”, which is our special forces. And it’s like, you’re either in the SAS or you aren’t in the SAS. So, this “Territorial SAS”, this person was saying that they’re behind enemy lines, they’re fighting, but they’ve got to get back on Tuesday to do their job.


Jamie: I thought that was hilarious.

Andrew: [chuckles softly] Yeah, that’s why it’s British satire.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: No, exactly! I was just about to say, you know, I tell these things about British humor and it’s just met with a “Oh, heh. Oh, that’s good, that is.”

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Well, I still find it interesting. It’s still kind of like cultural something. Anyway…

Jamie: What Eric, interesting in a kind of not funny at all way?

Eric: Not really. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah. Yeah, cool.

Andrew: I sent you an article Jamie, earlier today from a girl who e-mailed. It was an article in the BBC, and the article said that British humor is 15% funny or something like that because of the accent.

Jamie: Oh yeah. So, I think that kind of backs up the theory that the jokes that I tell every single week are awful.

Eric: Well, Jamie?

Jamie: Yes?

Eric: Does the SAS – do they have guns?

Jamie: Yes, it’s like your Delta Force.

Eric: What’s our Delta Force? You know more about this than I do.

Jamie: Oh, right.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Delta Force is one of your special forces divisions of the American army.

Eric: Oh, right. Okay.

Laura: [laughs] I find it really sad that Jamie has to educate…

Eric: I swear Brits know more… British people know more about us than…

Jamie: Eric?

Eric: What?

Jamie: Anything else you want to know about your country? Where do you live again? I’ll tell you if you’ve forgotten, you know?

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Yeah. Eric, that’s embarrassing.

Eric: Yeah.

Listener Rebuttal – Bill Weasley

Andrew: Next rebuttal, this is going down quick. Next rebuttal: Joanna, 18, of Kala – Kala – Kalamazoo, Michigan. Is that a real town?

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Eric: I guess so.

Andrew: Is it? Philadelphia Inquirer photographer says yes. [speaking to photographer] Have you really? What’s it like?

Philadelphia Inquirer Photographer: It’s a small town.

Andrew: Oh.

Jamie: Kalamazoo? It sounds like a Google spin-off.

Andrew: It’s a small town. You heard it here first. She writes – Joanna writes:

“What do you guys think about the possibility of Bill Weasley becoming the new DADA professor? I mean, he’s the one at Gringotts, right?” [laughs]

Okay, let me stop this for a second.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: When you’re writing these rebuttals, we’re not – we’re too lazy to go through and edit them, or read them like we’re going to read them on air, so edit them for us and then send them in. [Laughs]

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: I know exactly why [inaudible]

Jamie: What’s wrong with this?

Laura: Come on, Andrew.

Andrew: Because then we look…

Jamie: Andrew…

Laura: You can’t just read over the errors?

Jamie: What do you expect? Haikus and…

Andrew: She writes…

Jamie: Iambic pentameter? [laughs]

Andrew: That’s exactly what I expect. She writes:

“I mean, he’s the one at Gringotts, right? So maybe he wouldn’t have any experience teaching but hey, he’s a nice guy. He is, as Harry says, ‘cool.’ He has experience fighting Death Eaters, he’s got battle wounds…what else do you need? He could gain experience as he goes and I’m sure he knows enough that he could teach these kids. Also, that would allow a member of the Order to be at Hogwarts without compromising a major player. I’m interested to hear what you think!”

Eric: Kudos for…

Andrew: That’s a good final point.

Eric: Yeah, completely browsing over what we were just saying about how they couldn’t be a major player, but if they were in the Order, it would still be nice. The only problem is, the battle wounds…

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: …reason…

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: I… His battle wounds kind of make him part werewolf and people don’t like werewolves teaching their kids. Sorry. Even if it will never mature or whatever, he’s still got…

Jamie: Still looks like a bit of a werewolf.

Laura: Yeah, but wouldn’t any of the parents who would have that kind of opinion take their kids out of Hogwarts anyway at this point?

Eric: That’s true, that’s true. You could say, well, screw them.

Jamie: Or homeschool them.

Laura: Yes!

Eric: [laughs] Yes! And for more abuse about homeschooling…

Laura: I love how you guys all mock me for being homeschooled.

Jamie: No, we don’t, we don’t.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: No, we talked – we did a whole few episodes about that actually…

Jamie: We mock the idea of being homeschooled – home-taught magic. To be fair.

Andrew: Yeah, exactly.

Laura: Why?

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Well, okay then, Laura. How many people do you know who, on a Wednesday morning, stay home, eat breakfast, and then get their wands out and cast some spells? And have their mom teach them how to do it?

Laura: I’d say about 50.

Jamie: 50?

Laura: 50, Jamie.

Jamie: Well, I don’t think 50 is very representative, but…

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Of the world’s population.

Eric: Because the wizarding world is so huge.

Jamie: Yeah, it is.

[Laura laughs]

Listener Rebuttal – Ben And Harry Parallel

Andrew: Okay, let’s move on. Erin, 31 of Pennsylvania; she writes about Ben in Nebraska. She draws an interesting parallel and this really freaked me out.

“In Prisoner of Azkaban, Harry is sitting in a Muggle street, in the middle of the night, wondering what the police will say when they find a boy with a trunk of magical items. Ben is sitting in a Muggle street, in the middle of the night, wondering what the police will say when they find a “boy” with his laptop stealing WI-FI. Wow, the parallels!”

Jamie: That’s pretty awesome.

Andrew: Good point, Erin. Good point, good point.

Listener Rebuttal – Book Spines

Andrew: This next one – these are some weird emails this week – Michelle, age ten…

Eric: Million.

Andrew: Ten million…

Jamie: One hundred thousand.

Andrew: …one hundred thousand. And she writes:

“You guys played a voice ‘thing,’ that said the books…”

They are called voicemails.

“…that said that books have ‘Year One,’ ‘Year Two,’ and so on. It’s on the spine of both the paperbacks and hardcover editions.”

Not all of them. I think when they first started printing these, they didn’t have “Year One” and “Year Two.”

Laura: Really?

Andrew: Like – yeah.

Jamie: Do they really?

Andrew: My copies don’t. So, that leads me to believe they did that just because they wanted to put something new on the spine of the reprints.

Eric: Hmmm.

Laura: Hmmm. Interesting.

Eric: The UK editions don’t have them on the spine.

Andrew: I don’t…Laura, are they on yours, Laura?

Laura: Ummm…

Andrew: They’re not on mine.

Laura: I don’t know. I have a newer version of Sorcerer’s Stone because my old one died, [laughs] but, yeah…

Jamie: It died?

Laura: My newer one has “Year One” on it. [Laughs] Yeah. I killed it. I’m sorry.

Jamie: Awww.

Eric: It was a Horcrux.

Jamie: Yeah.

Listener Rebuttal – The Price of Gas

Andrew: And, last rebuttal comes from Doug of Brisbane, Australia. He writes about fuel prices because we talked about this last week.

Laura: Oh, geez.

Andrew: And this kills me.

“Hey, just listening to the show. I heard the outrageous prices of fuel in the US and UK. We have it too easy down here with $1.20 AU per liter, which is approximately 90 cents in the United States.”

Laura: Oh!

Andrew: Terrible.

Jamie: Wow.

Laura: That makes me want to cry.

Andrew: I know. [laughs]

Jamie: I’d buy that just for the sake of buying it – Petrol. I mean, just…

Laura: What was that, Andrew?

Jamie: …store it somewhere.

Andrew: Ship it back here. Do you drive, Laura?

Laura: Yeah!

Andrew: Oh, you do? I didn’t know that.

Laura: I’m almost 18-years old. I do drive.

Eric: Laura drives?

Andrew: This…

Laura: Yes!

Eric: What color car do you have? Is it pink? [laughs]

Laura: I don’t have my own car. I use my dad’s.

Eric: Does it have zebra skin? Oh. Okay, never mind.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: When you get a car, will it have zebra skin?

Laura: No.

Eric: Okay.

Jamie: You’ll have to explain this joke, Eric. I must admit, I think I’m a bit behind. [laughs]

Eric: It’s not a joke, I just picture Laura as having – okay, sorry. Andrew’s conversing with a reporter so we can just continue to ask Laura strange questions…

Andrew: I was conversing with a reporter.

Eric: From apparently no origin. Huh?

Andrew: [laughs] I was conversing with the reporter.

Eric: Sweet.

Andrew: Say ‘hi’ to the listeners.

Toni: Hi listeners!

Jamie: Yeah!

Andrew: This is Toni from the Philadelphia Inquirer and – when is this article going to be in the…

Reporter: Sunday, likely.

Andrew: Oh, Sunday? Okay.

Eric: Hi Toni! I’m down here in Reading, check me out.

Laura: Cool.

Andrew: Eric says “Hi from Reading.”

Laura: I’m from Cumming.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: When I told her you were from Cumming over the phone, she was like, “What’s that again?”

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Yeah.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: I spelled it. It was awkward.

Jamie: I’m Cumming.

Andrew: So, yeah.

Toni: [inaudible]

Main Discussion – Aberforth Dumbledore

Andrew: Yeah. Our main discussion this week is Aberforth Dumbledore. And Eric, you put this little one together, so…

Jamie: Little one? [laughs]

Andrew: …you’re in charge. No not little, sorry

Eric: I don’t put any little ones together.

Andrew: [laughs] All right, go for it Eric.

Eric: Okay, I have a little bit of an introduction, but then we are going to follow an actual structured thing which is in the Writely. So everybody, check this out. Okay, all MuggleCasters, on deck here for this one. Okay. Listen. Okay, in Order of the Phoenix, Chapter 16, pg. 335, US edition, Hermione leads Harry and Ron through Hogsmeade on their first free weekend, to the place where an unknown amount of students are going to come to hear Harry’s plans for the soon-to-be DA. Basically they’re all coming to hear a story. You guys remember this?

[Everyone agrees]

Eric: Hermione sets the whole thing up, and he just kind of follows it after a while. Anyway, so he asks Hermione, “Where are we going, anyway?” And Hermione says, “The Three–” well, Harry suggests the Three Broomsticks. She says, “‘Oh – no,’ said Hermione, coming out of her reverie, ‘no, it’s always packed and really noisy. I’ve told the others to meet us in the Hog’s Head, that other pub, you know the one, it’s not on the main road. I think it’s a bit …you know…dodgy.'”

The Hog’s head is described as being not at all like the Three Broomsticks. Its small, dirty, one room, and it smells like goats. [laughs] This is the place where Hagrid once won Norbert the dragon, as an egg, and everyone in it typically keeps their heads covered, and their minds to their own business. Now, what’s important about the Hog’s Head – apart from its location, which we’ll talk about in a few minutes – is the bartender. After many hints and references to goats and all that, JK Rowling finally told us that the bartender is actually Aberforth Dumbledore, Albus’ brother. This connection, I suppose, is where the mystery and discussion really begins.

Aberforth was first mentioned in Book Four by Dumbledore; Rita Skeeter’s article on Hagrid comes out, and in order to cheer him up Dumbledore tells of how his brother, Aberforth, was prosecuted for practicing illegal charms on a goat. It was apparently something really big in the papers – [laughter] I know, goats, right? But Aberforth continued to, quote, “go about his business as usual,” though Dumbledore then expresses concern that Aberforth may not know how to read.

Now, this is what I want to bring up first about Aberforth; his first conversation and appearance to Habby – er, Harry. [laughs] In Chapter 16 of Order of the Phoenix, “In The Hog’s Head,” he’s described as, “a grumpy looking old man, with a great deal of long hair and a beard. He’s tall, thin, and looks vaguely familiar to Harry.” Harry walks up to him to order a Butterbeer, and all he gets from him is a grunt, [imitates Aberforth] “What?” [laughs] The only other choice words Aberforth has for Harry is, [imitates Aberforth again] “six sickles,” which he takes from Harry almost blatantly, and the he goes to help someone else. In fact, Ron finds Aberforth so shady that he discusses trying to get a Firewhisky off of him, even though he is underage; Hermione scowls.

So, first question is, what exactly do you guys think is up with Aberforth? [laughs] I mean, illegal charms on a goat, grunts for an answer, and he polishes – cleans his cups with a dirty rag that looks like it’s never been washed before, and he actually makes the drinking glasses dirtier. “‘The Hog’s Head is a-bring-your-own-glass establishment,’ advises Professor Flitwick to Hermione,” and it seems like the barman is completely nuts.

The Role of Aberforth

So do you think that Aberforth is pretending to be stupid, or is he really just this creepy, distant, kind of in-the-background guy?

Jamie: I think…

Andrew: I think he’s the creepy…

Jamie: In the distant…

[Everyone begins to agree]

Jamie: I agree.

Laura: Whenever I heard about illegal charms on goats, uh, that pretty much confirmed…

Jamie: Yeah…

Laura: What I feel about him, is that he’s kind of creepy and out there, and – goats. I just…

Eric: And goats.

[Laura and Eric laugh]

Laura: That’s all I have to say.

Eric: Well, still – it kind of fits, though. In an interesting way, do you think that Dumbledore and Aberforth Dumbledore would be brothers? Because they’re both, kind of whimsical in their own ways. I guess…

[Laura laughs]

Eric: It makes sense that if – doesn’t it make sense that if Albus is this, you know, social genius, and he knows how to work people like Fudge knows how to get out of tight spots, doesn’t it seem fitting that his brother would be just as weird, with – obviously lacking some of those skills – they kind of compliment each other, do you think?

Andrew: Right. Like the Ugly Duckling.

Laura: I’m not sure he’d be lacking in any skills, though. I mean…

Eric: What? Aberforth?

Laura: Yeah, I mean…

Eric: Because he seems like a social wacko. He is this…

Laura: Well Dumbledore’s kind of a social wacko…

Eric: That’s true.

Laura: …he’s just a nice one. [laughs]

Eric: That’s true. Well, still, goats. You said it yourself.

Jamie: Yeah, I mean it’s…

Laura: Well, it doesn’t mean he’s unintelligent.

Jamie: Laura, so in Cumming, do they just go around, you know…

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: …picking up goats and, uh…

Laura: No, no, no. See, here you have Uncle Daddy.

[Jamie laughs]

Laura: We don’t – people don’t mess with goats here.

[Jamie still laughs]

Aberforth: The Order Member

Eric: So wait, he is actually in the Order. Or he was in the old Order. Back at Grimmauld Place, Mad-Eye Moody is looking at that picture, or he shows Harry that picture of the old Order, including Harry’s parents, Wormtail, and that, and it shows Aberforth Dumbledore. Mad-Eye Moody says he only met him once, and that was the time that picture was taken. And so he seems to be really mysterious, even to the other Order members. Because Moody only met him once, and if he’s in the Order that seems strange; they always see people dropping by at Headquarters, and that kind of thing.

Laura: Well, think about it. If the Hog’s Head is kind of a shady place, what better place…

Jamie: Kind of?

Laura: …to have an Order member?

Jamie: Yeah, I agree. And, also, it’s like there are some people who are on the good side, but you wouldn’t want round for dinner. It’s like Aberforth – he’s obviously on the good side, but he isn’t the kind of person who you can trust to drop by and, you know? It’s like – yeah.

Laura: Yeah. He’s like Mundungus.

Jamie: It’s like Jack Sparrow says in the first Pirates Of The Caribbean

Laura: [sighs] Oooh, Jack Sparrow.

[Laura and Eric laugh]

Jamie: If I get this 100% right, which I know I won’t, it’ll be good. It’s, “Me, I’m dishonest. It’s the honest ones you’ve got to watch out for. Because…”

Laura: [sighs] Yes.

Jamie: Okay, I don’t know. But, you know, it’s that he’ll always be dishonest, perhaps, Aberforth – I can’t believe I’m making this parallel. This does not work at all.

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Yes, it does. Johnny Depp works with anything.

Jamie: Yeah. I agree completely.

Andrew: No, he doesn’t.

Laura: Yes, he does.

Jamie: But…

Andrew: You guys are both just fangirls for him.

Jamie: And anyway, ummm…

Laura: I’m not ashamed to admit that.

Jamie: So, he’s completely dishonest. And although he can be trusted to help, I don’t think he can be trusted with the most sensitive stuff, so perhaps it’s that. It’s like Mundungus.

Eric: So you think he’s untrustworthy?

Jamie: Yes. No, I don’t think he’s untrustworthy, but he’s just, perhaps, incompetent.

Eric: Awkward?

Jamie: Yeah, awkward and incompetent.

Andrew: Right.

Eric: Awkward, okay.

Andrew: He’s like Eric. We like him, but we just don’t want him places.

[Jamie laughs]

Eric: We don’t want him around. Okay.

Andrew: I’m just kidding, just kidding.

Mundungus In The Hog’s Head

Eric: No, that’s fine. But, it’s funny you mention Dung, because Dung is – Mundungus is in the – he’s in the pub when Harry and them go and try and start the DA, dressed as a veiled witch. Which, actually, Sirius says is because Dung was thrown out of the Hog’s Head twenty years before, or something like that. So apparently, Dung is actually banned from the Hog’s Head. But in addition to that, in Book Six, Aberforth is actually spotted with Dung in Hogsmeade when – right before Katie gets attacked, and when Harry finds Dung stealing Sirius’ stuff – when they walk up to him, they see the barman. Harry recognizes the barman from the Hog’s Head, and just as they start walking up, Aberforth ties his cloak a little bit tighter and walks away. And that’s when Harry finds… But Dung and Aberforth were talking, so do you think Aberforth has a hand in Mundungus stealing Sirius’ stuff, or was he trying to buy stuff off of him, or what? Because Dung and Aberforth were seen together in that street, but, yet, Dung is supposed to have been banned from the pub, and all sorts of stuff. Is that just for show, is the whole thing just for show?

Jamie: Ummm…

Strategic Location: The Hog’s Head

Andrew: What if he’s Albus’ outsider.

Eric: I thought so.

Andrew: Not outsider, but he does all the dirty work that he can’t really be seen doing.

Jamie: What? Like killing people? [laughs]

Andrew: No, just like with the trades, with Sirius, and stuff like that.

Eric: Well guys, put it this way. The Hog’s Head in Hogsmeade – Hogsmeade is so close to Hogwarts, so my opinion is that it’s a location thing. Because there’s – obviously, if you want a pub in Hogsmeade, there is either the Three Broomsticks, which is crowded with all these happy-go-lucky people, and then there’s the Hog’s Head, which is this dusty, grimy place. Everyone keeps their cloaks up and covers their faces. So I’m thinking, if Hogsmeade is kind of a strategic location for Aberforth to have a bar, because the Hog’s Head obviously attracts a lot of the shadier, dodgy people. So… Things like – well, Hagrid got Norbert there, so I guess it makes sense that Dumbledore would have known about Norbert the whole time.

Jamie: Yeah. It also doesn’t seem like a place where you’d be watched; you go there and people don’t judge you. It just seems like a place where everyone’s weird, and it’s okay to be weird there.

Eric: Right, and, like I said, Ron seemed to think Aberforth was really passive, because he was going to try and get a Firewhisky off of him.

Jamie: Yeah.

Aberforth And The Prophecy

Eric: So that’s really interesting. The prophecy – because Aberforth was there. Aberforth was the only other person besides Snape, Dumbledore, Harry, and Trelawney, who has anything to do with the prophecy, as far as we know. Because it was the Hog’s Head, which is where the prophecy was made, it’s where Albus went to interview Sybil and Snape – or Trelawney and Snape. And Dumbledore was interviewing both of them that night for a teaching position, which kind of gets into Snape. But basically, during Trelawney’s prophecy, Aberforth came in, holding Snape by the scruff of the neck – is this correct? And he said, “This man was listening in,” or something like that.

Jamie: I think – I think we’re putting slightly too much importance on him, I must admit.

Eric: Well, he’s a main discussion, if we’re putting importance on him, it’s my fault.

Jamie: No, no, no. It’s fine. I think it’s interesting that is also shows that he just seems to be part of the plot, but not, you know – he’s like a fun thing. The thing about goats, the only reason that was there, was so that we recognized him in the bar, as the bartender. It’s just – it seems like just a challenge to us, to recognize that. It doesn’t seem like it’s important to the thing as a whole.

Did Aberforth Buy The Locket?

Eric: But the fact that Harry sees Aberforth and Dung together in the street, when Dung is nicking Sirius’ stuff, it seems to me that Aberforth might have actually – do you think it’s possible that he bought the locket off Mundungus? If Dung had actually collected that locket, wouldn’t it be really convenient if Aberforth had then bought it off of him? Or something like that? Since we’re worried – the whole question is, is the locket still at Grimmauld Place, if Dung was stealing the stuff?

Jamie: That’s very true, yeah.

Eric: So, then, I’ve picked this out, thanks to Lexicon, who said that it was Aberforth who was seen. And I thought, well – I just have – I don’t know – I have this idea that Aberforth is going to play a really big role in Book Seven. I just…

Laura: Well, do you think he’s going to help Harry, at all? Or do you think he’s going to be, kind of, a barrier?

Jamie: [says cautiously] Hinder.

Eric: Dung is the barrier. I think that’s the contrast, too, between barman and bar-goer, between Dung and Aberforth.

Jamie: Thief.

Eric: I think Aberforth is actually – yeah, [laughs] bartender and thief. The difference – I think Aberforth will help Harry, or something. I mean, Aberforth was there with the prophecy. I mean, come on. He’s got to – Harry should know this, and Harry should just go into the Hog’s Head and ask him a question, because this guy was there, you know?

Jamie: Yeah, I guess so.

Andrew: Well, that’s something that does make sense in Book Seven.

How To Reference Aberforth

Eric: Yeah, so wait. Here’s a question, guys. If Aberforth is a good – is a big character in Book Seven, will she call him Aberforth, or will she call him Dumbledore? Will she slip up and just mention his last name? Because…

Laura: No, she’ll call him Aberforth.

Eric: …wouldn’t it be funny if someone…

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah.

Eric: …if she called him Aberforth the whole time? Because if someone opened the book, and they read, “Dumbledore walked across the room,” they would scream it, [imitates a fan’s excitement] “Albus is alive! He’s alive!”

Will Aberforth Teach DADA?

Andrew: Here’s a question…

Eric: [mumbles] Well, kind of funny.

Andrew: …actually, a couple people e-mailed this. I was just looking through the MuggleCast emails for Aberforth. And, a lot of people seem to think that maybe Aberforth will be the one who takes over the Defense Against the Dark Arts role, because – and this comes from Josh of Vermont via Texas, whatever that means.

“I was listening very closely to Claire’s listing of the possible DADA teachers coming from current Order members. She was really thorough, listing the lasting members and the most prominent, but JKR herself mentioned that there is a member of the Order we haven’t seen at all, who will be playing a role in the seventh book.”

[Eric gasps]

Andrew: “After pursuing the Lexicon…”

Who looks at the Lexicon? HP Encyclopedia all the way!

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: “… of living Order members, most of which we’ve seen, I think that Claire’s glaring omission was Aberforth Dumbledore. Maybe he will come in to teach DADA.”

Jamie: What? And…

Andrew: What do you guys think?

Eric: [makes thoughtful noise] Aaah…

Jamie: Yeah, and he’d offer a drink of Firewhisky…

Andrew: Goats?

Jamie: …and a goat, yeah, for each person who gets the right answer.

Eric: [laughs] And a goat, yeah. You’ll have to sacrifice a goat for your exam. Pretty funny.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Well, you should have brought that up last week, though. Who was going to be the one – who is the one that Jo was talking about? And this was in an interview with Emerson and Melissa. “Member of the Order we haven’t seen at all, who will be playing a role in Book Seven.” So, I guess…

Laura: Yeah, but if we haven’t seen them at all, it’s not going to be Aberforth, because we have seen him.

Andrew: Not much, though.

Laura: Well, she said…

Andrew: Not very prominently.

Laura: She said, “You haven’t seen him,” didn’t she?

Andrew: “We haven’t seen at all.” Well, this could be paraphrased, you know. [whispers] Just go with it, Laura.

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: [laughs] I’m just kidding.

Jamie: We just agree with you, yeah.

Andrew: So now, nothing on that? Alright. You’re doing a disservice to Reading, because now this reporter is just going to say the co-host of Reading was really lame.

Eric: Listen, I’m sorry, I grabbed all the other things about Aberforth, but we went through them so fast.

The Night Of The Prophecy

Eric: There’s just this thing where he finds Trelawney helping…

Andrew: [laughs] She’s writing it down, it’s true.

Eric: No, he finds Trelawney in the room. When is this? “Sectumsempra,” “The Seer Overheard”. Here it is. Okay. So he finds – this is pg. 506 in the UK edition.

Jamie: [in excitement] Ooh, ooh, ooh. Ooh, ooh. Wait. Wait, wait. Oh no, I can’t find my book.

Eric: Aw. Book Six…

Andrew: What?

Eric: Page 507 or so.

Jamie: No, I realize that, but…

Eric: No, I didn’t.

Jamie: Okay, one sec.

Eric: “‘I think you better tell Professor Dumbledore,’ says Harry.”

Jamie: [clucks his tongue] God.

Eric: This is when he finds Trelawney. “‘He ought to know Malfoy’s celebrating – I mean, that someone threw you out of the Room.'”

Jamie: Ugh.

Eric: “To his surprise, Professor Trelawney drew herself up at this suggestion, looking horny – haughty.” Sorry…

Jamie: Looking what, sorry? [laughs]

Eric: Uhhh…

[Laura laughs]

Eric: “‘The Headmaster has intimated that he would prefer fewer visits from me. I am not one to press my company upon those who do not value it.'” Eh, yeah. So wait, hang on. She… So, Harry suggests she go see Dumbledore, and she says, while they’re walking to his office, “I miss having you in my classes. You were never much of a Seer, but you were a wonderful Object.” [laughs]

Jamie: Hmmm.

Eric: Which is funny.

Jamie: That’s the best chat up line I’ve ever heard. I’m going to start using that.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: You aren’t a very good Seer, but…

Eric: Come on. Okay…

Jamie: Sorry.

Eric: She says, “‘I well remember my first interview with Dumbledore,’ went on Professor Trelawney, in throaty tones. ‘He was deeply impressed, of course, deeply impressed. I was staying at the Hog’s Head, which I do not advise, incidentally – bedbugs, dear boy.'”

[laughs] This is an unkempt place. I mean … Ahhh.

“‘But funds were low. Dumbledore did me the courtesy of calling me in my room at the inn. He questioned me. I must confess that, at first, although he seemed ill-disposed toward Divination. And I remember that I was starting to feel a little odd, I had not eaten much that day. But then…'”

“And now Harry was paying attention properly for the first time, for he knew what had happened then: Professor Trelawney had made the prophecy that had altered the course of his whole life, the prophecy about him and Voldemort.”

“‘But then we were rudely interrupted by Severus Snape!'”

Harry just blacks out. He’s like, “What?”

Jamie: He’s like, [puts on an American accent] “Zoh my God, man!”

Eric: And then Trelawney says, “Yes.”
[imitates American version of Harry] “Zoh my God, what?! Snape?!” All right. [laughs]

“‘Yes, there was a commotion outside the door and it flew open, and there was that rather uncouth barman standing with Snape, who was waffling about having come the wrong way up the stairs, although I’m afraid that I myself rather thought he had been apprehended eavesdropping on my interview with Dumbledore – you see, he himself was seeking a job at the time, and no doubt hoped to pick up tips! Well, after that, you know, Dumbledore seemed much more disposed to give me a job, and I could not help thinking, Harry, that it was because he appreciated the stark contrast between my own unassuming manners and quiet talent, compared to the pushing, thrusting young man who was prepared to listen at the keyholes.'”

And Harry just completely took off to yell at Dumbledore for hiring Snape and stuff. But, so Snape – the thing is, why this is important… Because Snape wanted a job before he… He wanted to work at Hogwarts before he sent Voldemort after Lily and James. Do you guys think that was to be a spy for Voldemort, maybe? Was that – could that have been an initial plan even before…

Laura: Yes.

Eric: …he applied. Or was it something…? It could’ve.

Jamie: I think so.

Eric: But, so the barman stopped, actually stopped, Snape from – in fact, in a way, Aberforth saved Harry’s life? You could draw that conclusion, considering if Snape would have heard the full prophecy, Voldemort might not have made all those mistakes.

Laura: Yeah, that’s true.

Andrew: Yes. We do – we have a voicemail about that, actually.

Eric: Really?

Andrew: Later in the show. Well, Snape hearing the full prophecy.

Eric: So, yeah, it is Aberforth who stopped Snape from eavesdropping. Which is interesting, but…yeah. So, that’s cool. So, that places him. He’s at the scene of the crime, so I just want to learn more from him. I think he has a good – I mean, he’s Dumbledore’s brother. How not intelligent, how not able to give information and help, is he?

Jamie: Well, perhaps Dumbledore was just the lucky one, and he turned out, you know, thick.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: That’s what I was saying. He’s like the Ugly Ducking.

Jamie: Yeah. [laughs] The black sheep of the family.

Laura: Yeah, but doesn’t the Ugly Ducking turn into a beautiful swan?

Eric: [gasps] Oooh.

Jamie: No, Laura.

Eric: [sings] Laura, you’re my best friend.

Andrew: Well, okay.

Jamie: Laura, Laura.

Andrew: Then maybe that can be his role in the seventh book.

Jamie: Maybe in your fantasy…

Laura: What?

Jamie: …fueled stories, you know?

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: In real life, Laura, that stuff just doesn’t happen, okay? Life is a cruel, hard time.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: The world is a cold place and it’s not worth fighting for.

Laura: Okay, Ben. All right, Ben. Thank you, Ben.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: And to cap things off, call me Ben.

[Jamie and Andrew laugh]

Andrew: That concludes our main discussion this week. And don’t forget: if you – if anyone has a topic idea for us to discuss, feel free to e-mail it: mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com.

MuggleCast Dating Service

We have a new segment, now, that I’m really looking forward to. This is the MuggleCast Dating Service. You might remember last week, that I put people up to this.

Jamie: Oh yeah. Oh, can I read this one?

Andrew: Can I read the first one?

Laura: Awww.

Andrew: I’m really excited about this.

Jamie: No, Andrew, you can’t.

Andrew: Oh, fine.

Jamie: No.

Andrew: Okay, because…

Jamie: No, no. No, of course you can… No, go on.

Laura: You can’t both go out with Michael White from Amherst, Massachusetts. I’m sorry.

Jamie: Ooh, but he’s so tall! And he likes long walks on the beach.

Andrew: And you’re saying…

Jamie: Yeah, exactly. No, go on Andrew.

Andrew: Well, we asked people last week to send in their applications, and we got two of them. So ladies, listen up. This first one comes from Michael, 16, of Amherst, Massachusetts. [laughs] Got the camera right in front of me, sorry. Michael…

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Is that what you call it?

Andrew: [laughs] He’s age 16, he’s six foot three, and he enjoys long walks on the beach, dogs, paintball, volleyball, and Harry Potter. So, anyone in the…

Jamie: Yeah, man!

Andrew: …Amherst, Massachusetts area would like to get in touch with Michael, please email andrew at staff dot mugglenet dot com and I’ll get in touch with you. Favorite music: Saves the Day, Weezer, Goldfinger, MuggleCast, and Jamie Lawrence. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Favorite movies: Fight Club, 10 Things I Hate About You. Favorite MuggleCaster is me of course. What kind of question is that? And he’s looking for a fun girl, preferably in Western Mass and a MuggleCast listener. So…

Eric: Interesting combination of Fight Club and 10 Things I Hate About You

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Yeah. I was going to say that. He likes sort of violent chick flicks.

[Eric laughs]

Jamie: And our second one in the MuggleCast Dating Service is Alan, 17ish – sounds a bit honest, 17ish.

[Jamie, Andrew and Eric laugh]

Andrew: By 17, I mean 42.

Jamie: Yeah, give or take 40 years. Yeah, Subject: MuggleNet Dating. “I would love MuggleNet dating. If you guys could find me a girl that as obsessed with…”

Eric: Obsessed with what? That’s important.

Jamie: “I’d definitely invite you guys to the wedding and vote for you a billion times on Podcast Alley. [laughs]. Currently, I only vote a million or so times.”

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Of course.

Jamie: Well, we could use a billion. Definitely. But, yes, of course Alan we will find you a nice girl. If you can send in exactly what you’re looking for and well get right on it. Okay?

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: “Is as obsessed as I am” must be about Harry Potter or MuggleCast.

Jamie: Yes.

Andrew: Not the greatest speller though, so if you’re looking for someone who is excelling in English, I would not look for this one, ladies. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah. [laughs]

Voicemail – Micah’s Theory

Andrew: Voicemails this week. First one comes from, I don’t know. First voicemail this week comes from someone who has a question about Micah’s theory that Jamie posed last week.

[Audio]: Hey, guys! This is Mindy from Iowa calling about Episode 52 of MuggleCast. In it, Jamie talks about Micah’s theory of Harry’s dream in Sorcerer’s Stone being connected to Dumbledore’s murder. Couldn’t it be possible the dream was referring to the night Harry’s parents were killed. In it, it talks about seeing Snape and Harry hearing a laugh, a high-pitched laugh. Couldn’t it be connected to the theory that Snape was at Godric’s Hollow when Voldemort killed Harry’s parents and then laughed afterwards?

Jamie: I think it definitely could, but that wouldn’t explain why Draco was there. And I think it follows so well that it’s Draco and then he turns into Snape and then he kills Dumbledore.

Laura: If this is the case though, does this mean that Harry is a seer?

Eric: No, it just means he’s really gifted.

Andrew: No.

Jamie: No, no. Laura, Laura, Laura, Laura. “See”ker. Almost there.

Laura: [laughs] Oh, Jamie. You’re so funny.

Jamie: It has a “k”. It has a “k”.

Laura: There’s that British humor again.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Keep practicing and next week you may just have it.

Voicemail – Lockhart

Andrew: Next rebuttal is about hiring Lockhart as we discussed last week.

[Audio]: Hi, MuggleCast! This is Seth from Venice, California with a listener rebuttal. I think the reason that Dumbledore hired Gilderoy Lockhart was partly because he needed a Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher and Gilderoy was the only one willing for the job, but also Jo said in an interview somewhere, and I can’t quote chapter and verse, but Dumbledore sometimes hires teachers even if they are incompetent or nasty or otherwise undesirable just because he wants students to have the life experience of dealing with the less savory side of human nature. So, I think that’s another reason he hired him. Thanks! And love the show. Bye!

Andrew: That is a good point.

Jamie: I agree, actually.

Laura: I think what you guys are also forgetting is that Hagrid said in Chamber of Secrets that Lockhart was the only one…

Andrew Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: …who was qualified for the job.

Jamie: That’s what I was going to say.

Eric: Anyway, this guy couldn’t quote chapter or verse, I don’t know what his deal is, but he just somehow couldn’t.

Jamie: Or series.

Eric: I know right? [laughs] Anyway. Yeah, I agree with him. But it was… Lockhart was one of those… You know, I agree Dumbledore kind of presented… It was kind of what Harry could have used at that time…

Jamie: You’re doing well so far Eric, I must admit.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Oh my god! No, it’s kind of what Harry needed. You know? This whole clearly-famous guy who knew nothing and it gave Harry the opportunity to really shine forward with his own – at least in the Chamber of Secrets thing if they had somebody like Moody, it would have maybe been taken… I don’t know. It’s just the way the books worked. I think Lockhart came at an important time in the series. You know? It showed Harry – definitely I think it was for Harry’s first view of something that the public would have liked or though or supported that he was in contrast with.

Jamie: I agree. That sounds pretty reasonable.

Voicemail – Fred And George At The Quidditch World Cup

Andrew: Next rebuttal is about Fred and George and their scheming at the Quidditch World Cup

[Audio]: Hi, y’all! This is Marie Pat from Queens. I listen to y’all on the subway. It makes my commute go faster. I just listened to Episode 52 and I wanted to comment on Fred and George’s bet and the Quidditch World Cup. I don’t think they cheated or time-traveled or anything. I think this is an indication of what shrewd businessmen Fred and George are going to be. First off, if you listen to, I think it was Harry, after the game is over, he does a little analysis of the game – the Irish Chasers Troy, Mullet, and Moran, I think their names, were so good. There was no way Bulgaria was ever going to catch up once they started to lead. And Krum was, of course, the best Seeker ever. So, it was probably a pretty good chance that Krum would get the Snitch and a very good chance that the Irish would win the match. The combination, of course, is not as likely, but they needed to take the risk. And that is part of being a shrewd businessman, is knowing when take a big risk in order to get a big payoff. And you start to see that… Whoops, excuse me! You start to see that when they open their shop and also the way they leave the school. They have to take big risks in order to be successful. And they just happen to be smart and shrewd enough to make it work. And that is my theory on their bet. Too bad the bookmaker they placed their bet with wasn’t an honest dealer. Anyway, love the show and hope to hear the next one! Thank you! Bye bye!

Eric: Zoh my god! Goodnight!

Andrew: Good, nice and long, right?

Eric: I love how she is from Queens and says y’all. I like it when they say “y’all,” especially when they are from Queens, but this has got to be one of my favorite voicemails because thinking about it, she said it wasn’t exactly that far off or far-fetched idea for the kind of scenario that played out to actually happen. I think the way she did that, it was done very well. I think it seems a lot less necessary that Fred and George would have had to use time-travel.

Laura: I agree.

Andrew: It’s just a bunch of agreeing today.

Jamie: It is! I know! It’s…

Laura: We’re all so passive.

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah, we are. I couldn’t feel more passive today.

Voicemail – Odd Wizard Out

[Audio]: Hi this is Amanda. I’m from Michigan. I wanted to know what you guys would think, how it would feel like if you were the only non-magical person in a whole family of wizards. Like, how Ron would feel if he was the only non-magical person in his family. Thanks! Bye!

Jamie: I would feel left out and I would feel ashamed. I’d kind of be annoyed as well that all of my friends or my friends could conjure computers and stuff.

Laura: But what you don’t know is Jamie is the only non-magical person in his family.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: I am. Yeah. [laughs] I am.

Laura: That’s why Andrew’s dad gave him the Lucky Charms.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, exactly! {laughs]

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: He’s speaking from the heart.

Jamie: I was crying to Andrew’s dad all night that I didn’t have any magical powers.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Jamie: So, he gave them to me in the hope that they ignite my magical powers or something.

Andrew: Make you feel [in leprechaun voice] “magically delicious!”

Jamie: Exactly! [laughs]

Eric: Jamie, are those Lucky Charms magically replenishing themselves or…?

Jamie: Yes, they are.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Oh my gosh!

Jamie: They’ve turned into 18 boxes so far.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: They’re reproducing in your cupboard.

Jamie: No, they are.

Andrew: So, I’m not sure why the person asks this question, but I guess she just wants our feelings on it. And we’d be sad.

Eric: Well…

Andrew: Of course we’d be sad. It would be like – insert something funny here.

Jamie: It would be like everybody in your family being amazing musicians and you being useless.

Andrew: Yeah, right.

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: It would be like being the Ugly Duckling.

Eric: You’d get pissed about it all the time.

Laura: Or it would be like being the only person in your family who liked talking about Harry Potter all day.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: Can you imagine what that would be like?

Andrew: That is why people listen to this show because we connect with them and that’s it. That’s why.

Voicemail – That Night In Godric’s Hollow Revisited

Andrew: Next voicemail could possibly reveal why Harry could not be killed when he was a kid in Godric’s Hollow.

Eric: We already know why he couldn’t kill him.

Andrew: Are you ready for this? No, you’re… Not until you hear this.

[Audio]: Hi, this is Sarah from Maryland. I just rereading Order of the Phoenix and I was wondering what you guys thought about this passage. It’s on pg. 791, Chapter 35 of “Beyond The Veil”.

“The Death Eater had pulled his head out of the bell jar. His appearance was utterly bizarre, his tiny baby’s head bawling loudly while his thick arms flailed dangerously in all directions, narrowly missing Harry, who ducked, Harry raised his want but to his amazement Hermione seized his arm.”

“‘You can’t hurt a baby.'”

Now are we all know, Hermione usually speaks truth. And if this is true, could Voldemort have hurt Harry as a baby. Just wanted to know what you guys thought. Bye!

Jamie: I think she was speaking figuratively when she said you can’t hurt a baby. Like, it would be wrong to hurt a baby.

Laura: Yeah, I think that was kind of Hermione reacting in horror that…

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: …Harry would try and curse a baby.

Andrew: Hurt a baby. But that does bring up another point we got an e-mail about a while ago and I wanted to bring it to the show. But… Or maybe we did talk about this on the show – Hermione is always right.

Eric: Well, no. She wasn’t… But this isn’t her…

Laura: Not always.

Jamie: Except…

Eric: This is not Hermione…

Jamie: Except when she gets emotional.

Andrew: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Eric: That, but also this isn’t her matter-of-factly speaking. You can’t hurt a baby Harry! This is her saying…

Jamie: [in an American accent] Zoh my god, Harry! You can’t do that, man.

Eric: You can’t hurt a baby! Hermione sees his arm and she’s like, “What are you doing, Harry? You can’t hurt a baby!” And Harry could have retorted, you know, “Oh, but it’s really a Death Eater.” But she was just using, it was her mother instinct a girl. They already got the Death Eater, he’s got a baby for a head.

[Jamie laughs]

Eric: He’s got this baby-faced Death Eater. They’ve got him. You don’t need to fire another curse. It was just Hermione – her mother instinct saying, “You can’t hurt a baby” not factually speaking. “Harry, you can’t hurt a baby…”

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: …so don’t even bother trying – don’t waste a spell. That’s not what she’s saying.

Laura: And where would you draw the distinction? I mean saying you can’t hurt a baby, but you can hurt a 10-year old? Because there – wasn’t it in Half-Blood Prince, the Montgomery sisters, their little brother was killed?

Jamie: Yeah, yeah!

Laura: He was like, killed. So, I just don’t see where that distinction could be drawn because most parents view children as their babies forever.

Jamie: Well, no, no, it depends which side you’re on. I mean Greyback killed their brother, didn’t he?

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: Greyback kills little kids.

Jamie: He doesn’t care if you’re a little baby or if you’re… Yeah, exactly.

Laura: It doesn’t matter if there is magical protection over a baby.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: No, it’s not. It’s not.

Andrew: There isn’t.

Eric: Yeah.

Laura: I don’t think so either. That’s what I am saying. I think it was just Hermione’s maternal instinct.

Jamie: She’s speaking… She’s speaking figuratively.

Eric: Yeah. There can be magic that is triggered by age, like for instance the spells on Privet Drive that will have passed.

Jamie: That will go off when he’s 17.

Eric: That will go off when he’s 17, that kind of thing. But, I don’t it’s regularly, like an actual regular occurrence.

Laura: Is Toni leaving us?

Andrew: No, the photographer is leaving. Toni is going to stick around. I am going to talk with her after. It was a problem they came this week because I couldn’t podcast naked like I normally do.

Eric: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah, exactly. [laughs]

Andrew: I had to be clothed.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Right? I know. So inconvenient. Put on some clothes.

Andrew: Yeah, it didn’t work out.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: Okay, well that does it for voicemails this week.

Dumbledore-Norris Quotes

Jamie: Now, as I am sure quite a few people have noticed, with the Dumbledore quotes, I have just been taking Chuck Norris quotes and turning them to Dumbledore quotes, which is not difficult. You just take out the word “Chuck Norris” and put in the word “Dumbledore”. So, but then I thought they aren’t very original if you do that. So, starting now we’re going to do some original Dumbledore quotes. And we’ve already been sent some in. And we’re going to start doing them, you know, from now on. So, if somebody has some original ones, please do send them in. [laughs]

For example, [laughs] one person sent one in today that Dumbledore was made Head Boy while he was still on the train, on the Hogwarts Express, in his first year.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Also, that Dumbledore told the Sorting Hat which House he was going to be in at Hogwarts.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: And my personal favorite of the week: When a basilisk looks into Dumbledore’s eyes it suffers an instant death.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: That was hilarious. How could you not laugh at that?

Laura: I guess I am going to have to rent some Chuck Norris films because…

Eric: It’s some of the British stuff, right? Wasn’t that British? I…

Andrew: Yeah, I need to have a talk with Laura and Eric and Ben, if he was here. Why don’t you guys think they are funny?

Laura: Hey, well if it helps, if it helps my dad worked on the set of a Chuck Norris film.

Jamie: Really? That’s awesome!

Andrew: No way!

Laura: Yeah! Invasion USA.

Andrew: Did he get his autograph?

Laura: No, I don’t think so.

Andrew: Was Chuck Norris as cocky as he seems on screen?

Laura: I don’t know. This was back before I was born. So…

Andrew: Oh.

Eric: I don’t think that Chuck Norris has anything to do with these Chuck Norris jokes. I think it’s just his fans.

Jamie: Probably, yeah. How about…

Andrew: Because he’s… Because he’s a real tough guy on the show and so that’s where these – they are sort of like the Jack Bauer jokes.

Jamie: Yeah, they are. Yeah.

Eric: Oh, Jack Bauer.

Jamie: There is no chin behind Dumbledore’s beard, only another wand.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: [laughs] What about if Jack Bauer and Chuck Norris had a fight, Dumbledore would win? I think that was good.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Eric: That was good.

Jamie: Or when Dumbledore and Chuck Norris walked into a room, the room collapsed because that much awesomeness cannot be contained in one building.

[Jamie and Andrew laugh]

Andrew’s Huh?! E-mail Of The Week

Andrew: It’s now time for Andrew’s Huh?! E-mail of the Week. No, that was bad. Huh?!

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: There you go.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: It concerns my Easy Button that sounds a little like this [press button] “That Was Easy!”

Jamie: You’re fired!

Andrew: Alyssa, 13, of Massachusetts.

[Plays Trump sound “You’re Fired!”]

Andrew: The battery is dying, it’s getting quieter with every push. Alyssa, 13, of Massachusetts writes:

Hey, Andrew. When you mentioned the Easy Button and played it on the show, I immediately wanted one. I’m sure I’m not the only one and you should have Staples pay you because you brought them business. Love the show! Keep up the good work!

Alyssa, the reason why this my Huh?! E-mail of the Week is because the money from these go to charity and I am not the kind of person who would steal money from charity just by promoting the Easy Button.

Jamie: Nope.

Andrew: As a matter of fact, I have been working with Staples to promote the Easy Button and you can purchase these at your local Staples store for only $5.00 and it benefits the Boys and Girls Club of America. [pushes button] “That Was Easy!”

Jamie: That was quite easy, wasn’t it?

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie’s Back Hurts

Andrew: Jamie, I’ve noticed now – you’ve been a little moody for the past hour. What’s going on? You have a story to tell us or something?

Jamie: Well, I haven’t… I have a… I can’t even think of the word.

Andrew: Story?

Jamie: Story, yeah. [laughs] Well…

Andrew: It’s called a story. [laughs]

Jamie: Well, I have a half-confession, as well. I haven’t got a joke this week. Now, normally, I’d apologize, but there’s a story behind it, so I won’t

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: I thought I would be an extremely nice person and clean the kitchen. And I brought the bin, the qui – sorry, the trash can, man. I got…

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Jamie: I got the trash can, took it outside, and filled it up with water to clean it because it was dirty. Then, I bent down to pick it up, so I could move it to the drain and pour the water away. However, I didn’t realize it – it was this heavy. So, I got down, put my hands on it, went to lift it up, and I didn’t lift it because it was too heavy, and basically, to cut a long story short, I’ve torn all the muscles in my lower back, and it hurts. And it hurts so much.

Laura: [moans] I vaguely remember you telling me about that.

Jamie: Yeah. And I can hardly move, and it hurts to do absolutely everything. And they keep spasming and causing me to almost fall over, so that’s why: a) I don’t have a joke; and b) I feel moody this entire show; and, c) My jokes have been jokes but haven’t really been jokes. So, yeah. [laughs]

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: How does he do that?

Andrew: Jamie, have you consulted a doctor?

Jamie: I have, yeah.

Andrew: Because, frankly, I’m worried about you.

Jamie: I have, yeah, yeah.

Andrew: Well, what’d the doctor say?

Jamie: That I’ve torn my muscles. [laughs]

Andrew: Oh. [laughs]

Jamie: Basically.

Laura: [laughs] Send Jamie some pain killers.

Andrew: Yeah… [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, and hopefully…

Andrew: …to the PO Box. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, and they’ll get with me in 2015, so, I’ll tear them again then just so I can use the pain killers.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

New Segment: Crackpot Theory of the Week

Andrew: Okay, Eric? Are you going to do your e-mail?

Eric: Yeah, sure. You want to intro it, though, because…?

Andrew: Okay. Yeah. We’re going to start a new segment this week. We’re going to call it – you know, we’ve been kicking this one around for a while and, when thinking of who would be the best co-host to defend a theory down to the wire with his life depending on it, it would definitely be Eric. So, Eric is going to start a weekly segment, or attempt to make it weekly. It is going to be the Crackpot Theory of the Week. Eric?

Eric: [laughs] Okay. For this first Crackpot Theory of the Week, we go back to… You know, we go back in time a couple…

Andrew: No, wait, wait, wait. Let me explain this a little bit more, because I thought you were going to. Crackpot Theory of the Week: Where Eric will take a theory that he finds online, or maybe one that you send in, and he will defend it with all his might, as outrageous as it might sound, but it could very well be possible. So, go ahead, Eric.

Eric: You’ve completely crushed [laughs] – you’ve built up this sort of, you know, big, big tension for this really good, I don’t know. All right.

So, for this first Crackpot Theory of the Week, we go back in time a couple of weeks to Lumos. Lumos 2006 in Las Vegas, Nevada. Now – oh, by the way, I have pictures of Lumos and Vegas and New York City on my private gallery: crownscull dot com slash gallery. Okay? That’s just that for people who want to relive.

Now, okay, so going back to Lumos, there was a few panel discussions, and Steve VanderArk from HP-Lexicon.org was in one of his keynote speeches, I think, or one of his speeches, and at the very end, he fooled, or he surprised everybody with a strange theory as to why Dumbledore isn’t dead, or, well, you know, later on in New York City, JKR confirmed this, so I can’t really defend it to the T, but he suggested that Dumbledore couldn’t be dead because Dumbledore and Professor Slughorn switched bodies before entering the cave.

If you pay close attention, and the reason this floored everybody – everybody went silent – was because in the cave, there are several instances where Dumbledore uses, “Oho” – O – H – O – as a kind of response to start his stories. And it’s just – it’s very awkward for Dumbledore to, all of a sudden, be saying, “Oho!” a lot, and he’s waiting around in the cave. And people – so, the theory is, I guess, that Dumbledore and Slughorn switched bodies. That Slughorn used the Polyjuice Potion, and then that it was Slughorn who was killed, and that’s why Dumbledore is still alive, and people were just floored and completely silent, and Steve VanderArk totally PWNed everybody, and everybody walked out, like, “Oh, my god.” So, I guess I’m supposed to defend this to a T, but JKR kind of said that he died, and also, Mr. Weasley says, “Oho,” once, I think, in Book Five, I was reading. So, Crackpot Theory – well, Crackpot Theory should also be theories that are completely crackpot.

Jamie: I’ve got a different idea.

Eric: Okay.

Jamie: Can we – can we put a spin on this? Basically, you don’t know what the theory is before the show, and then we come up with a theory, and then we say it to you.

Laura: Oh, that’s a good idea!

Jamie: And you have to say for five minutes just to defend it, and to come up with all the evidence, and just…

[Eric laughs]

Jamie: …improvised – improvise.

Andrew: So, we’re going to ask the listeners to send in theories that are crazy but could be true, and then we pose them to Eric on the show.

Jamie: Yeah, and he has to improvise, you know, and defend it for two or three minutes, completely improvised.

Andrew: Okay.

Eric: I like that, actually, a lot.

Jamie: Yeah, it’ll be fun. It’ll be fun.

Eric: I’m psyched for it.

Andrew: All right. So, listeners, subject line: Crackpot Theory. Pose a theory, pose your points, we’ll read them to Eric. Eric will…

Jamie: Defend them to the death. Good, good.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Oh, but no points. I almost want to ask no points, because they’re…

Andrew: Okay. Then, just the theory.

Eric: Just the theory.

Andrew: All right.

Eric: Even if you have points for it, don’t share them, and see if I bring them up.

Andrew: But, keep in mind that Eric has to defend it for a few minutes…

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: …so, don’t make it something that could be… Well, two or three minutes. So, make it a theory that it can last…

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: You know, it’s not stupid. It’s discussion worthy.

Eric: Okay. Oh, by the way, Eric…

Andrew: mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com

Eric’s Exciting News!

Eric: You guys, you guys – Laura, Laura especially remembers Eric. You know, the wand checker, Eric, from Book Five?

Laura: Oh, yeah.

Andrew: Yeah, you brought him up on the show.

Laura: I remember that.

Eric: He has a last name! I was… As I said, I was reading Book Five, and he has – his last name is Munch.

Andrew: Oh.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah. It is. Yeah.

Eric: Yeah, it is. His name is Eric Munch, and he arrests Sturgis Podmore. He’s on night duty in the Department of Mysteries, so, he must be important to have a job in the Department of Mysteries. Okay.

Andrew: Cool!

Eric: Okay. Cool.

Andrew: Well, I believe that does wrap up our show this week. [laughs] We hope you enjoyed our testing of Crackpot Theory.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: I did.

Andrew: And…

Eric: I think Jamie’s idea was better.

Jamie: Thank you.

Last E-Mail: Where’s Chapter-by-Chapter?

Andrew: One last e-mail comes from Sura…Suraimee…Surama…

Laura: Suriyama?

Jamie: So, yeah. This is from Suriyama, 21, from Bonn in Germany. Subject: Chapter-by-Chapter.

“I just wanted to ask if you are going to continue with the Chapter-by-Chapter segment. I really liked it and miss it a lot. I love your show and all you. It’s by the far the best podcast. Regards, Suri.”

Thank you, Suri.

Andrew: Yeah, we’ve been getting a lot of e-mails like this lately, wondering where Chapter-by-Chapter is, and, like we said, at the end of the last one, that we’d be taking a break off it, but we are going to bring it back very soon, but…

Eric: Yeah, I think I…

Andrew: But we’re working on a new format for it…

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: …in order to make it better.

Eric: I guess I just have to send you a kind of reformed, revised outline about how to clearly state things, right, Andrew? So, shouldn’t we – could we promise getting it on next week? Could we do that? Can everybody read, I think it would be the first two…

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Eric: First two chapters of Book Two?

Jamie: Two? Two?

Andrew: Yes.

Eric: Next week – I tell you, people – with this new Crackpot Theory of the Week; with this Chapter-by-Chapter Book Two starting up, next week is going to be Eric-tastic.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Oh, god. [laughs]

Laura: Oh, Jesus.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: I am stoked. And, by the way, check out the gallery. eric scull dot com slash gallery.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah. Right.

Show Close

Andrew: If you cannot believe next week’s show is going to be Eric-tastic, then please remember to call in with all your excitement to 1-218-20-MAGIC in the [says slowly] UK you can dial…

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: It’s loading really slow. 020-8144-0677. In Australia you can use 02-8003-5668. We haven’t been getting many calls from these places.

[Show close music plays]

Eric: It’s because you say double four, double oh seven, double eight, acht, neun…

Andrew: I picked double numbers so it’s catchy, sort of.

Eric: No, it sounds awesome, but I would hate to be the person who has to slow down your voice on the show and actually catch it.

Andrew: 020-8144-0677 UK. 02-8003-5668 in Australia. If you didn’t catch that, just go to MuggleCast dot com, click on contact. Also, Skype the user name MuggleCast, e-mail mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com with your dating uh, dating uh, dating uh, dating uh things.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: If you like Michael or Allan, please e-mail Andrew at staff dot MuggleNet dot com and let us know.

Eric: If you like goats, send that in, too.

Andrew: Hopefully, we’ll get you two together.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: About Aberforth’s…

Andrew: Listener Rebuttals; you guys know how we do the show by now. Send everything in. And also check LeakyMug.com this week for more information on LeakyMug Live in California for the Podcast Awards. We’ll all be out there. It’s a par-tay, woo! That wraps up MuggleCast Episode 53 [laughs]. I’m Andrew Sims.

Eric: I am Eric-tastic.

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

Jamie: And I am Jam.

Laura: Jamie, you were supposed to…

Eric: [laughs] Jam. Jam.

Laura: …fight me for that.

Jamie: No way. No way.

Laura: We were supposed to be fighting over that last place now…

Jamie: Laura.

Laura: …like we were at the beginning of the show.

Jamie: Laura. Laura, I’m in so much pain now, you just have to poke me and I fall over and give in, seriously.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: We’ll see everyone next week for Episode Fitty-four.

Laura: Adios!

Jamie: Fitty-four! Bye bye.

Eric: Ciao.

Micah’s First News Segment

Andrew: In commemoration, now, of Micah Tannenbaum’s one year of news podcasting here on MuggleCast, here is his very first news segment, which he is very, very embarrassed of.

Micah: Thanks, Andrew.

Let’s begin with our top news story…

Start spreading the news (don’t worry, I wont break out singing Frank Sinatra), but Warner Bros. announced Friday that the Big Apple will host the U.S. premiere of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire on November 12, 2005. The world premiere will take place a week earlier, on November 6th in London.

Speaking of Goblet of Fire, on Wednesday, Warner Bros. officially released the international trailer with amazing shots of the Quidditch World Cup and all three tasks in the Triwizard Tournament. Listeners can check out this new trailer by logging on to the film’s official website at www.gobletoffire.com.

Staying with the topic of movie premieres, Katie Leung (who portrays Cho Chang) and Robert Pattinson (who portrays Cedric Diggory) both recently attended the Dukes of Hazzard premiere in Leicester Square, London. Hopefully, they weren’t taking any acting lessons.

Finally, wrapping up our movie news for this week, Tom Felton (who portrays Draco Malfoy) will supposedly stay on through the filming of the seventh Harry Potter movie. He spoke about it while hosting the 3rd Annual Junior Carp Tournament, saying: “I’ll keep doing it as long as they
want me to.”

In other news, a Dutch Harry Potter fan named Dennis just couldn’t wait for the release of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, so he made his own rendition entitled Harry Potter and the Torch with Green Flames, which he started writing back in January of 2004. And while publishing of his creation was forbidden, it was uploaded onto the Internet (in Dutch for those who wish to read).

Moving from the Netherlands to France, the French cover of Half-Blood Prince was released on Tuesday, which is similar in style to the American deluxe edition. The book is due out in France on October 1st.

Finally, if you didn’t have a chance to participate, on Thursday MuggleNet staffer Jamie Lawrence hosted a chat with Matthew Lewis (who portrays Neville Longbottom). You can log on to MuggleNet to check out the transcript.

Before we leave two birthday announcements to take make: one to Rupert Grint the actor who portrays Ron Weasley in the Harry Potter films turned 17 and to MuggleNet senior staff member Ben Schoen who turned 16, both on Tuesday. Happy birthday to both of you. And I’d sing happy birthday, but I assume you want to keep your ratings up.

Of course you can get more in-depth news, pictures, videos, and audio clips of all the things mentioned by logging on to MuggleNet.

That’s all the news for this August 28, 2005, edition of MuggleCast, back to you guys.


Jamie: [singing] They’re coming to take him away, ha ha, they’re coming to take him away, ho ho, hee hee, ha ha. To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time. And I’ll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats.

Laura: [laughs] Thank you, Jamie.

Jamie: You’re welcome.


Written by: Micah, Adrienne, Allison, Amanda, Eloise, Jean, Jessica, Judy, Mandie, Margaret, Martina, Megan, Sarah, Shannon and Shelly

Episode 53: Eric-tastic

  • Rupert intros the show! He’s got something for Micah next week.
  • Guess who’s featured in the newspaper for being the coolest. person. ever.
  • Listener Rebuttals tackle last week’s heavy discussion.
  • Character Discussion: Aberforth Dumbledore.
  • Goats. Riiiight.
  • Reading, PA is about to get a bad reputation.
  • We try our hand at a new crackpot-theory segment, but we need your help!
  • A few voicemails.
  • Jamie hurt his back.
  • Dumbledore/Norris Facts.
  • Andrew’s ‘HUH?!’ E-mail of the Week.
  • The verdict from the Easy Button: That WAS easy.

Download Now
Running time: 1:07:47, 23.6 MB

Transcript 052

MuggleCast 52 Transcript

Show Intro

Andrew [Show Intro with music in background]: Because, because, because, because this is MuggleCast Episode 52 for August 20th, 2006.

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Hello, everyone. Welcome back to the show, I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I am Ben Schoen.

Jamie: And I am Ja-mie Lawrence.

Andrew: And joining us this week, Claire O’Connor. Hi, Claire.

Claire: Hello.

Jamie: Hey, Claire.

Ben: [laughs] It’s a US newscaster.

Claire: Thank you for having me on the show.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: Jamie, what’s your deal with these “O’s” in front of last names?

Jamie: Ah, well, you see, my experience with US newscasters, which I have to say, is far from substantial…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: …has told me that every single newscaster is “Something O’Something.” I mean, you’ve got Conan O’Brien, and I won’t list any more since there are so many.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: I could be here forever. So, yeah.

Claire: You don’t know any more.

Andrew: There’s really not many more. [laughs]

Jamie: Sure, sure, sure, sure. There’s um…

Ben: Okay, and how is Conan O’Brien a US newscaster?

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: He’s a late night talk show.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Jamie: Okay, a US TV person then, Ben. Stop picking holes in my flawless argument.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: It will get you nowhere, seriously. Absolutely nowhere.

Andrew: Speaking of flawless, awesome newscasters, Micah O’Tannenbaum is standing by in the MuggleCast news center with the past week’s Harry O’Potter news stories.


Micah: Forbes magazine has named author JK Rowling the world’s ninth-highest earning celebrity. Apparently, she makes a cool $145 per minute compared to the $77 per minute from last year. Hannah Clark of the magazine, said: “With the $145 she earns every minute, Harry Potter author JK Rowling could buy more than a few boxes of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans, one of the young wizard’s favourite sweets.”

In a recent poll conducted among 1,213 US citizens, an interesting discovery was made: more people know about the Harry Potter than the British prime minister, Tony Blair. The Bleier Centre for Television and Popular Culture in New York said: “These results are not about how ‘dumb’ Americans are, but about how much more effectively popular culture information is communicated.”

In a new interview with The Independent, Rupert Grint, who plays Ron Weasley in the Potter films speaks about taking a role outside the wizard series. The article also asked him to answer some questions about his career.

In a separate brand new interview, Julie Walters, who plays Mrs. Weasley, talks about her current acting projects, Driving Lessons, the publication of her first tome, and much more. On Potter, she says she will film her scenes for Order of the Phoenix sometime this fall, and confesses to not being quite an avid reader of the books, although her daughter is. So, I guess that makes up for it.

Jo Rowling and husband Neil Murray attended the movie premiere of Snow Cake earlier today at the Edinburgh Film Festival. Some photos of their appearance can be seen in our galleries. Alan Rickman, who plays Professor Snape, stars as Alex Hughes in the film.

In movie news, the first ever photograph of Natalia Tena sporting purple hair and in full Nymphadora Tonks costume has surfaced online. The picture, which was taken on the set of the fifth film, can be seen over on MuggleNet.com.

And HarryLatino.com has been told by Warner Bros. that Order of the Phoenix will be released in Spain on July 20th, 2007.

Additionally, Harry Potter Fan Zone reports that the movie distribution company who will be handling the movie in Australia has announced a change in the release date. The new date is July 12th, 2007, which would be several weeks earlier than the previously set date of September 6th. We are working to confirm this information.

Tom Felton (who plays Draco Malfoy) was in Pennsylvania past week for the annual Junior Carp Tournament.  We now have several pictures of Tom up in our galleriesfrom the event!

And finally, the Encyclopedia and Movies Sections of our site have been revamped and there is now a transcript and video available from our live Leaky Mug New York City podcast. So be sure to check all of that out.

That’s all the news for this August 20th, 2006 edition of MuggleCast. Back to the show!

Happy Birthday Micah!

Jamie: Can I just come in here and say a big, big, big happy birthday to Micah. Belated birthday greetings for the 17th, which was a few days ago. So, hope he…

Andrew: He turned 24.

Jamie: So, I’m going be extremely…

Claire: Happy birthday, Micah!

Jamie: I’m going to be extremely American here and say, have a great day, buddy.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: He would have had a great day.

Recording Issues

Andrew: We were supposed to have Kevin on this week, but he’s actually sleeping because we were recording earlier than normal and once again, he dropped the ball.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: We actually tried to record earlier this week, but [laughs] he was sleeping again. So…

Jamie: Yeah, this show has probably been the most put off show. We tried to record it, which day? Thursday?

Andrew: Mhm. No, Wednesday, I think.

Jamie: Wednesday, moved to Thursday…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: … moved to Friday.

Andrew: Moved to Saturday.

Jamie: Yeah, moved to Saturday.

Andrew: Oh yeah, moved to Saturday. [laughs]

Jamie: Moved Sunday – moved to today.

[Andrew still laughing]

Jamie: So, we’re very committed, but it’s just, you know?

Andrew: It’s hard, it’s hard.

Jamie: It is hard.

Nicknames For Micah

Andrew: It’s hard work. So, anyway, moving right along… Oh, we have some nicknames for Micah. I think he put these in the Writely because he wanted us to see them.

Jamie: Bring them up?

Andrew: They just keep coming! They just don’t stop! His name is so versatile. The “Micahwave.”

Jamie: We’ve had that before, haven’t we? I’m sure we’ve had that before.

[Claire laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, but I think we cut it out of the show. [laughs]

Jamie: Oh!

Andrew: So, we’re doing them again. “Micah-Tan the Anchorman,” “Mic Check.” Yeah. If we did, sorry.


Andrew: Anyway, Listener… No, no, let’s do some announcements first. Podcast Alley; don’t forget to vote for us there. Podcast Awards – we’re hoping that we did win at the Podcast Awards, and we are going to announce now that we will be in California.

Jamie: Really, Andrew?

Andrew: Yes.

Jamie: I was really hoping that we’d lose.

Ben: [laughs] That we lost.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: I’ve got my fingers crossed that…

Ben: That we lost.

Jamie: we come in last. Yeah.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Hopefully, hopefully.

Andrew: Anyway, [still laughing] we’re announcing now that we are going to be in California the last week of September and we will be doing a live Podcast. However, we don’t know when yet. It will probably be during the week of the 24th. The Podcast Awards are on the 29th. So, we’ll have more details on that hopefully soon.

Claire: I want to go!

Ben: So, here’s your challenge. Here’s your challenge: [music plays in background] We’ve all heard the song by Phantom Planet called “California.”

Claire: Awww!

Jamie: I haven’t.

Ben: Your job…

Claire: The OC.

Ben and Claire: [singing] California…

Ben: [singing] Here we commmmmmmme…

Andrew: Yeah. Does it sound like this?

Jamie: Correction, then. I have.

[Claire laughs]

Ben: Your job is to write a LeakyMug/MuggleCast remix to that song and submit the lyrics to ben at staff dot mugglenet dot com.

Andrew: And then what?

Ben: Then the winner gets a free t-shirt.

Jamie: In California or now? Or…

Ben: A free LeakyMug t-shirt.

Jamie: After they’re done, yes.

Ben: Yes, after they’re done.

Andrew: Also, Jamie, I hate to put you on the spot for this but [laughs] do you have the name of the person who won our little mini-contest last week?

Jamie: Oh, yeah, I do. I don’t know his last name, but Rob from… Now, I don’t know how to pronounce this. It’s one of the hardest things. That place in Florida that has about 18 “S”s and 18 “I”s in it. Kiss-im-mee? Is that how you pronounce it?

Andrew: Laura sent me the pronunciation [laughs] earlier this week, but now I forget it because she knew we would butcher it. It’s Kiss-ay-me?

Jamie: Kiss-ay-me. Well, yeah, Rob from there won a lovely…

Ben: Kiss me, Claire.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Rob from Kiss-im-mee, Kissimmee, Kiss-ay-me, has won a lovely iPod Squares MuggleCast t-shirt. So, I hope you enjoy that, Rob.

Andrew: Speaking of MuggleCast t-shirts, the current designs – we only have a few of them left to sell and then they will be retired in favor of some brand new MuggleCast designs, which are nearing completion.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Andrew: They’re all fantastic, and we cannot wait to release them.

Ben: So, it’s just like when Disney will pull The Lion King off of the shelves and out of stores.

Andrew: “Go in the Disney Vault forever!”

Ben: Yeah, it goes in the Disney Vault, you know?

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: Well, these t-shirts are going to go in the MuggleCast Vault. So, you have to purchase one right now. It’s your last chance to buy the MuggleCast squares t-shirt. So, if you were even on the fence about buying one before, hopefully this will put you back to the good side. You need to purchase a t-shirt.

Jamie: But don’t worry because, we’re going to cryogenically freeze them so we can bring them back in 50 years.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Jamie: You can buy one then.

Andrew: You can file “Save As” in Photoshop.

Jamie: Yeah.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Claire: Didn’t Walt Disney freeze his head? Didn’t he freeze his head? That was weird.

Jamie: Whose head?

Claire: That was really weird.

Jamie: Whose head are we freezing?

Claire: Walt Disney froze his own head.

Jamie: No way! Really?

Andrew: No, he didn’t.

Claire: Seriously, like he did. He froze his own head. Honestly, I swear to God, yeah.

Jamie: Where’s it kept now?

Claire: [laughs] In the Disney Vault.

Jamie: For talking points, you know, if you keep it in your living room.

[Andrew and Claire laugh]

Jamie: “What’s that?” “Oh, don’t worry, it’s just Walt Disney’s head. So, do you fancy a drink?”

[Andrew and Claire laugh]

Andrew: Yeah, well, the new t-shirts are really, really nice. They’re made by Sam at SamandNate.com again. One is designed specifically for all you girls out there because about 78% of our listening audience is girls. We should set up a dating service through MuggleCast…

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: … for all these guys that listen to the show.

Ben: If this is of interest for you, please e-mail in.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: [laughs]Dating on MuggleCast.

Ben: Dating at staff dot MuggleNet… No, I’m just kidding.

[Andrew and Claire laugh]

Ben: That’s not really – don’t send emails there.

[Ben and Claire laugh]

Listener Rebuttal – James is Really Dead

Andrew: [sighs] Anyway, rebuttals this week; we have a lot of them. We have a few extra eye rebuttals because we asked for people’s thoughts.

Our first one, not concerning eyes, comes from Claire of Australia. Claire from Australia, she writes:

“I was listening to Episode 51 when you were talking about there being a chance of James Potter still being alive. I definitely don’t think that is possible because in The Goblet of Fire, in the battle scene between Harry and Voldemort, when their wands connect and the last people that Voldemort killed came out of his wand as memories, which is also known as [Mispronounces word] Pri – Pri – Pri – Prior – Prior… ”

Claire: [Pronounces correctly] Priori Incantatem!

Andrew: ” …Incantatem.” [laughs] “James did definitely come out of Voldemort’s wand. So, if he wasn’t dead, how would he be able to, just as Lily and other people Voldemort had killed, did?”

[Claire and Jamie laugh]

Claire: What?

Andrew: [laughs] The point is, a lot of people sent in this same point, that James came out of Voldemort’s wand, so he must have been dead, because we were like, “Is James really dead?”

Jamie: [laughs]Oh, James came out of Voldemort’s wand, what a line.

[Andrew and Claire laugh]

Listener Rebuttal – Eye Color

Andrew: Anyway, B.D. writes:

“The subject was brought up about JK Rowling describing someone’s eyes as black or gray, and it is true that she does often refer to people as having them. It is also true to imagine those types of eyes. It is also true that she described Voldemort’s eyes as red, and it is easy to imagine them as red. But, when it came time to reveal Voldemort to the world, the filmmakers took them out because the effect, while imaginable, was less believable. In a round about way, I think black and gray eyes is more of JK Rowling using a literary license. Also, black or dark eyes are historically a way of saying someone is handsome or brooding…

Jamie: Brooding. Brooding.

Andrew: Broding? Brooding. …which is odd to me because these are two different things. Also, ask anyone who has had a black eye and they will tell you that is nothing to do with the pupil, iris…”

Jamie: And they’ll punch you.

Claire: Yeah, you’ll get punched.

[Andrew and Claire laugh]

Andrew: Well, right, that’s what happens when someone hits you but, “To cap things off, eyes are not necessarily black, gray, blue, green, yellow, or red, but the writer is the master of their universe, and Rowling is the master of ours and if she calls them techno-colored eyes then they are.” [laughs] “However, remember that red ferns don’t always grow on graves and green eyes are not always greener when they came from your mother.”

Jamie: That is a very poetic message.

Claire: It is indeed.

Jamie: I’m very touched by the, sort of, fluidity of it. Should we have a moment of silence; quiet contemplation now?

Andrew: For B.D. in Alabama?

Jamie: Yeah, okay.

Andrew: Right now. One, two, three.

[Moment of silence]

Ben: That was great. Great silence.

Claire: Fabulous.

Andrew: Jamie, would you like to read off the next rebuttal?[laughs]

Listener Rebuttal – Write a Book

Jamie: Oh, I thought that was extremely good. Extremely good. Okay, this is from Don’t Know and Not Sure. Their ages combined, which is 28. I don’t know if that’s 28 each and we have to combine that or if its 28 in total. But they say:

“Hey, guys and Laura…”

And Claire – don’t forget.

“This is Don’t Know and Not Sure and we have an idea to solve your financial problems. Write a book together! All the real Harry Potter fans will buy it and then you can stop begging us to buy t-shirts and making excuses about how our other…

[Claire laughs]

Jamie: …shirts will explode. Because they won’t.

They will, they will. Your shirts will explode!

“We hope you take our brilliant advice. Love the show, bye!”

Ben: What irony!

Jamie: Yes, thank you, Don’t Know and Not Sure. We are writing a book, making a film…

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: …going into the real estate business, building cruise liners…

Andrew: But, come on, seriously. Why on Earth would we write a book? That doesn’t make sense.

Ben: That doesn’t make any sense.

Jamie: That doesn’t make any sense at all.

Ben: I would not want to be involved with that.

Jamie: No, I tell you why, because the effort – especially if there’s a deadline or something, you know? Like, I mean, I just, I don’t know.

Andrew: Like September 1st. That’s just outrageous.

Jamie: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah that is stupid, that is stupid. But, thank you, Don’t Know and Not Sure for caring about us.

Andrew: Well, I’m really glad they wrote in because, you know, remember last week we asked them to [laughs] write in.

Jamie: Oh, we did, didn’t we? Yeah! Because their cousin once removed Can’t Say wrote in, so it was only fair for Don’t Know and Not Sure to write in, as well.

Listener Rebuttal – Lucky Charms

Andrew: Yeah, and our last rebuttal is specifically for Jamie – is from Deir.. Dei… Dedre…

Jamie: Deirdre.

Andrew: Dier… Dre… Deidre…

Claire: Deirdre!

Andrew: Fourteen! [laughs] Location: Books A Million, which is a bookstore I think. She writes:

“In Episode 51 Jamie was eating lucky charms. I was…”

Ben: No, they call her house Books A Million.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: “In Episode 51 Jamie was eating Lucky Charms. I was just wondering, what do Lucky Charms taste like?! Love the show; Ben is hot!”

What?! What!?

[Jamie and Andrew laugh]

Andrew: So, Jamie, what do Lucky Charms taste like?

Jamie: Hey Dierdre, Lucky Charms …

Ben: I’m pretty sure it’s Dierdre [pronounces Dee – dra] not Dierdre. [pronounces Ded – dree]

Jamie: No it’s not Dee-dra. It’s Dierdre! [pronounces Deer-dree]

Claire: Ben’s been watching too much Desperate Housewives.

Ben: How’s it spelled?

Andrew: D-e-i-r-d-r-e.

[Jamie laughs]

Claire: It’s…

Ben: It’s Dee-dra!

Jamie: Okay, fine. No, it’s Dr. Dre. That’s how you pronounce it.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

Ben: Okay, someone e-mail in. Is it Deirdre [pronounces Did-dree] or Deirdre? [pronounces Dee-dra]

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Or if it’s Dr. Dre.

Andrew: So, Jamie, what do Lucky Charms – what do they taste like?

Jamie: They are absolutely awesome. They have a swagger of Irish gold combined with a hint of magic and all summed up to absolute perfection and combined to create a beautiful breakfast cereal that, not only starts you off for the day, but keeps you going for weeks and weeks and weeks.

[Andrew laughs]

Andrew: Or as they say in the commercial …

Jamie: Very, very nice.

Andrew:[in Irish accent] “Magically delicious!”

Jamie: Yeah, no, they taste extremely nice. They’re my new favorite; if only I could buy them over here. So, now …

Ben: Actually, you can. You can buy groceries on Amazon now.

Jamie: Oh.

Ben: I’m sure they would ship you a box of Lucky Charms.

Jamie: No, but it’s fine. But, it’s fine. Just, every time single I go into the U.S. I’ll buy one box, come back, and then have one bowl every three weeks so they last me…

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Jamie: …until I can next go to the U.S.

Andrew: I thought you said they magically refill – the box is magically delicious.

Jamie: Well, they do, but I don’t know if that was just the box that you gave me or every single box, so I didn’t want to say anything.

[Claire laughs]

Listener Rebuttal – Harry’s Eyes

Andrew: Oh! Oh, yeah, I paid a little extra for that box because I wanted to make sure it lasted for you. And now some more eye rebuttals. Nicole, 22, Michigan says:

“I have a theory about Harry’s eyes that also fits in with the fact that Jo Rowling said that there was foreshadowing in the Prisoner of Azkaban movie. In the movie when Remus Lupin is talking to Harry about his mother he says that ‘she could see the beauty in others, perhaps especially when they couldn’t see it themselves.’ I think that Harry might have inherited this ability to ‘see’ beauty along with his mother’s eyes. This could have many consequences in Book Seven depending on who has this inner beauty. Perhaps Snape, Pettigrew, or possibly even Voldemort.”

Jamie: Hmmm. So wait, what’s she saying? She’s saying that Harry can see good in people, is it? Or…

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: But Micah came up with one point about this – about the whole eye thing. Because I mean, I find it really, really difficult to find theories about why Harry, you know, has Lily’s eyes and how important they are. Apart from that theory which everyone loved about Harry going to her grave and plucking out her eyes, and then really having Lily’s eyes.

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: But no he says, Micah says that he thinks that at some point in the final battle that Harry will be in a compromising situation, extremely similar to Lily was. Snape will be there, for all you Snape/Lily fans, and his attention will be caught by Harry’s eyes and he will remember what happened to Lily and sacrifice himself in some way to save Harry, maybe. Write in if you think that that’s, you know, a viable theory or any comments about it. Thank you, Micah.

Andrew: Very interesting.

Ben: [impersonating Micah] That’s okay.

Andrew: We also got a few other e-mails saying black and gray eyes do exist. They’re all pretty much redundant of each other. But also this one comes from Elizabeth, 14, of Tulsa… Toosa… Tusa:

“In Episode 51, you were talking about how the fact that Harry has Lily’s eyes could be significant in Book Seven. Here’s the theory I have: in Book Five, Dumbledore said he thought he saw a shadow of Voldemort stir behind Harry’s eyes. So, in Book Seven, if Voldemort finds a way to get in Harry’s mind without killing himself, others could be able to tell.”


Jamie: I think Dumbledore was speaking figuratively when he – when he meant that. Though, you know?

Andrew: You think so?

Jamie: Well, yeah, like – like when Voldemort possessed Harry, Dumbledore could see the Voldemortness inside Harry, you know? So…

Andrew: Ah, yeah…

Ben: The Voldemortness.

Jamie: Yeah, the Voldemortness. That is a proper word. Check the dictionary, everyone. So, yeah.

Claire: Voldemortness. Very nice.

Jamie: Yeah. So but, I don’t know. Yeah, it could be that, you know, his eyes can show what kind of power Voldemort has on him at any one time, perhaps. It’s good.

Andrew: All right. Well, that does it for rebuttals.

Main Discussion: Defense Against The Dark Arts

Andrew: Now, moving on to our main discussion this week, which is the Defense Against the Dark Arts class at Hogwarts. There’s so many questions about it because just…

Jamie: There are.

Andrew: About the curse and who might step up in Book Seven to take the role, but we’re going to start off with a voicemail about the curse.

Cursed Position

[Audio]: Hi, this is Jessie from New Hampshire and I was just wondering about the Defense Against the Dark Arts people – teachers. Because Dumbledore had said that no teacher had lasted for longer than a year since he had been asked for the post. So, what happened to all those other teachers that had been there before Quirrell? Do you think that they all died? Do you think they just resigned or do you think that Voldemort had involvement with all of them? Because he wasn’t strong at that point, so – but I don’t know. I just wanted to hear your thoughts. I love the show! Thanks! Bye!

Andrew: It’s purely speculation, but, I mean we haven’t really ever heard what happened to the other Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers…

Jamie: No, we haven’t.

Andrew: …prior to Book One.

Jamie: You’d think though – you’d think though if you went for a job interview for a teacher and you said, “So, why is the job open?” and the headmaster said, “Well, it’s, you know, the last 50 teachers have either died, resigned, or gone mad,” you wouldn’t take the job. But, no.

Andrew: Right.

Jamie: Everyone still takes the job. It’s weird.

Claire: Well, maybe that’s because…

Andrew: Yeah. Yeah.

Claire: Maybe that’s because it’s such a coveted position at Hogwarts. That’s nothing to do with…

Jamie: Yeah, that’s true, that’s true.

Claire: You know?

Jamie: Yeah, that is very true.

Andrew: And Dumbledore could very well be convincing them somehow.

Claire: Everyone’s vying for it. So…

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Andrew: Offering some sort of incentive.

Claire: Definitely.

Andrew: Anything else to say about that?

Ben: None here. My feet – my feet are so numb right now.

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: I don’t know what’s happening.

Jamie: My back hurts more.

Andrew: Are you still in your car?

Ben: Yeah, I’m still in the car in Nebraska.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: Sleeping here for a week now.

Jamie: He slept there for an entire week.

[Claire laughs]

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: That – that really is commitment. I’m still hanging on to my raft. I’ve been here a week as well.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: I’m getting a bit wet now I must admit.

[Andrew still laughing]

Professor R. J. Lupin

Andrew: Well, with Lupin, in the third book, he had left to keep the students at Hogwarts safe because he turns into a werewolf and all that. But, if he had stayed, what could have happened the following year? Because it just seems like he didn’t really have to leave; because did Dumbledore ask him to leave or was it on his own? Was it his own decision?

Jamie: I think… I think he took the incentive though, you know, like he knew that people would, especially parents, would call in and say you know… They’d leave voicemails on the Hogwarts voicemail Skype name and say, and say, you know…

[Andrew, Ben and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: “We don’t want a werewolf teaching our children.” And he thought that the war is going to start soon and he was playing a big role by leaving Hogwarts and uniting Hogwarts, more than staying there and causing trouble. I think it was a sacrifice.

Claire: Do you not think he could have been a target by Death Eaters had he of stayed? That’s just me thinking, but…

Jamie: He turns into a shop that sells all manner of electrical items.

[Jamie, Andrew, and Claire laugh]

Claire: Shut up, Jamie. [laughs]

Andrew: It just seems like he would have been the most likely candidate to stay around for a second year.

Jamie: He would, yeah.

Andrew: And he didn’t. I don’t know. It just doesn’t seem like the curse really applies to him because he left on his own decision.

Jamie: He is the only one who left when he hadn’t done anything consciously wrong, if that makes sense.

Andrew: Right, right.

Jamie: Whereas you know, Lockhart obviously in the Chamber of Secrets, Quirrell did have Voldemort on the back of his head as Harry points out, so that was quite a big thing. You know, so… And Moody obviously wasn’t Moody. So, yeah. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know.

Gilderoy Lockhart

Andrew: Chamber of Secrets [clears throat]: Dumbledore hires Lockhart. Why would he hire Lockhart knowing full well – well, maybe not knowing full well – that this guy is out of his mind? Because Lockhart had played people for a while saying that he did all these things.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: Well, isn’t it just because it’s so hard to find someone to take that position? Isn’t that why?

Jamie: That… I think that could be it. But..

Ben: Because you have – you have to hire whoever you can get.

Jamie: He couldn’t have played Dumbledore, though. Dumbledore obviously knew.

Claire: No, no, no. I think the point with Lockhart was that he brought a kind of – he brought the exposure to Hogwarts that no other person at that point in time could have brought, you know, because he was so popular.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Claire: Surely.

Jamie: Yeah. But, no. Yeah.

Andrew: So you’re saying – you’re saying Dumbledore hired him because of how popular he was?

Claire: Yes, in a way. It could be.

Jamie: Yeah. Wait. It could be..

Ben: It’s the only reason we keep Jamie on the show.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: It’s like – no, no, it’s like hiring Jon O’Stewart to be your new English teacher, you know?

[Andrew laughs]

Claire: Jon O’Stewart? How fitting.

Andrew: [laughs] It doesn’t start with O’Stewart.

Jamie: So, yeah. It’s just like – that would bring loads of publicity and stuff, so perhaps it is that. That is a very good point.

Professor Snape

Andrew: Who, now, what if Snape had received the position that he originally asked for? Didn’t we already talk about this recently? I’m trying to remember.

Jamie: I think we did. We asked why Dumbledore finally gave the position to him, didn’t we?

Andrew: Well, no, like prior to that. Why didn’t he receive the position earlier than Book Six?

Jamie: Ummm… Maybe Dumbledore didn’t completely trust- no, no! I know why! I know why! Because Dumbledore realized that every single Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher – yeah – they either left within a year, they died within a year, or something happened; and he needed to keep Snape close to him because he was working for him to spy on Voldemort.

Andrew: Oh, right.

Claire: Not even, Jamie.

Jamie: If he placed him in… Assuming that the job is actually cursed, you know, if he placed him into that job, then within a year he’d be gone or something. And then in the sixth book – oh my god, yeah! And then – I’m so excited now, I’m so excited! And then in the sixth book…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: No, no, no, no, wait.

[Claire laughs]

Jamie: And then in the sixth book, because they had planned that Snape was going to kill Dumbledore, he put him into the job because it didn’t matter; because he was going to leave him and go over to Voldemort. Well, not go over to Voldemort, as it were, because they’d been planning it. So, that shows that Snape is a good person. Perhaps it’s that.

Claire: Hang on, hang on.

Ben: You are so good, Jamie. So good.

Jamie: It just hit me, it just hit me.

Who Will Be The DADA Professor in Book Seven?

Andrew: Shall we make some predictions? Book Seven: who will be the DADA teacher? Because I don’t – I don’t think we’ve even talked about this yet.

Claire: Moody. Mad-Eye Moody.

Andrew: The DADA. [pronounces it “dah-dah”]

Claire: Definitely, Mad-Eye Moody.

Andrew: Why, Claire?

Claire: Definitely. Because…

Andrew: Why?

Claire: …his role, I feel his role was – it wasn’t explored to the fullest. I mean, I think that…

Jamie: That is true.

Claire: …I don’t know, that JK has… She has – she has a motive for him. Yes, definitely.

Jamie: Mad-Eye O’Moody is coming for the role.

Claire: Mad-Eye O’Moody. [laughs]

Andrew: Some people think that an Order member will step up, but it might be someone other than Moody, such as Lupin or Tonks.

Jamie: What, you mean like putting somebody from the Order inside Hogwarts to know what’s going on?

Andrew: Right, yeah. Right, exactly.

Jamie: Right, yeah.

Andrew: For someone like Lupin or is McGonagall an Order member? Or is she just…

Jamie: She’s got to be.

Andrew: Wasn’t she just in and out, in Order of the Phoenix?

Jamie: Yeah, she was.

Claire: Guys, assess where we left Lupin in the last book. Where was Lupin at the end of the last book? Where was he? Was he not in the hospital?

Jamie: Yes, he was. He was in with Bill and then Tonks said..

Claire: With Charlie…

Jamie: No, no, Bill, Bill. Yes. And then – and then, Tonks says, “I love you, I don’t care if you’re a werewolf once a month. We just won’t do it then.”

[Andrew laughs]

Claire: If you actually think logically about who’s going to be the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher in Book Seven, then we need to think that it’s not going to be Hagrid. Of existing members, it’s not going to be Hagrid.

Jamie: No.

Claire: It’s not going to be Professor McGonagall because she’s going to be the head teacher of Hogwarts – most likely, most likely. It’s not going to be Kingsley Shackleboot – Shacklebolt, even, because he’s working with the Muggle Prime Minister. It’s not going to be Arthur Weasley because he’s been promoted to something I can’t remember right now. And, the….the…for me, the most likely candidate is definitely Mad-Eye Moody. And I think that Tonks will go to Transfiguration because of obvious reasons.

Jamie: Yeah, that sounds fair enough. That sounds fair enough.

Andrew: I like that. That’s an interesting way to put it. Who else, I’m looking at the list of…

Professor Potter

Jamie: Can I say, the question of – it’s been discussed for quite a long time – that whether Harry is going to become the Defense Against Dark Arts teacher, but I just can’t see it, because…

Claire: Oh, no way! Oh, come on. Get a grip!

Jamie: You can’t, it’s…

Ben: That is the dumbest thing…

Jamie: Respect, please, Ben. Respect please.

Ben: …I have ever heard in my entire life.

Jamie: But, Ben…

Ben: [laughs] Sorry, sorry.

[Claire laughs]

Claire: Ben…

Jamie: We’ve only got one more book, so he can’t qualify out of school and then become the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, unless she writes it in an epilogue.

Andrew: Well, right.

Claire: If you think about it, Harry has so much to learn, himself, in the last book…

Jamie: Exactly, exactly. He can’t teach people.

Claire: …to be able to destroy all the Horcruxes and then get to Voldemort. And then, not even that, but he has actually to do this. So, how is he going to find the time to be Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and…

Jamie: Precisely.

Claire: …and then do this final quest kind of thing, you know? It’s just not possible.

Jamie: Exactly, exactly. He’ll be like, “Class dismissed, I’ve got to go and find a Horcrux.”

[Ben and Claire laugh]

Andrew: Right, but I think most people think he’s going to become Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher after.

Jamie: Well, maybe, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Claire: Possibly. Possibly.

Andrew: After all this mayhem is over. Because, of course he can’t do it during school. That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: How about Dumbledore’s Army? Could he maintain Dumbledore’s Army and bring it back?

Jamie: Yeah. Perhaps.

Claire: I think so.

Jamie: But, it would be TLDA: The Late Dumbledore’s Army.

Andrew: Oooh…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Tear, tear, tear.

Claire: [laughs] That’s below the belt, Jamie. That is below the belt.

Andrew: Maybe he wouldn’t even run it. Maybe, like, Hermione or maybe not-so-much Ron would take it over.

Other Positions at Hogwarts

Andrew: Now, what about other roles? Claire already – Tonks seems like a good person for Transfiguration. How about Potions? Will Slughorn stay on? I think he’s good enough to be… I think he’s…

Claire: Definitely. Absolutely. Definitely. Yes.

Andrew: …loyal enough to Dumbledore to come back for another year. That wraps up our Defense Against the Dark Arts discussion, but, Jamie, I understand you have a theory for us now.

Theory: Foreshadowing The Lightening-Struck Tower

Jamie: I’m going to come up with a theory that was proposed by Micah. He’s on a role this week and this was…

Ben: You’re going to come up with a theory that was proposed by Micah?

Jamie: I was… Yeah, it’s going to take all my powers and concentration to read this straight out of a text file, so let me concentrate, Ben.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: He proposes that we knew in the first book, from very early on, that Snape was going to kill Dumbledore. Also in fact, not only that, but that Malfoy was going to try and kill him, he couldn’t, and then Snape was going to kill him. So, to find out how this is, turn to pg. 130 of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, or page – one sec, let me find it – or pg, 97 of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, both paperbacks. It’s right at the end of the chapter, “The Sorting Hat”. I’ll read from it, and then explain it afterwards.

“Perhaps Harry had eaten a bit too much, because he had a very strange dream. He was wearing Professor Quirrell’s turban, which kept talking to him, telling him that he must transfer to Slytherin at once, because it was his destiny. Harry told the turban he didn’t want to be in Slytherin; it got heavier and heavier; he tried to pull it off but it tightened painfully,” and now, concentrate especially, “and there was Malfoy, laughing at his as he struggled with it – then Malfoy turned into the hook-nosed teacher, Snape, whose laugh became high and cold – there was a burst of green light and Harry woke, sweating and shaking.

He rolled over and fell asleep again, and when he woke the next day, he didn’t remember the dream at all.”

Now, we couldn’t find a link between the turban, but if you go back to “The Lightning Struck Tower” in Book Six, “there was Malfoy, laughing at him,” Dumbledore, “as he struggled with it” – the prospect of being killed, maybe – and, then Malfoy couldn’t do it, so he “turned into the hook-nosed teacher, Snape, whose laugh became high and cold – there was a burst of green light,” Avada Kedavra, “and Harry woke,” as in got unfrozen, “sweating and shaking.” So, I thought that was really, really good, Micah. So, well done.

Andrew: That is a very good theory. He has a tendency to think up…

Jamie: Well, I…

Andrew: …brilliant things like this. Unless he just stole it.

Jamie: It’s the kind of thing that is linked, and obviously is right.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: But, it would’ve been impossible to predict from it that Dumbledore will, you know – this was the scene where Dumbledore died, if that makes sense. I think it’s very good, though.

Claire: This is a perfect example of the…

Ben: [inaudible]

Claire: This is a perfect example of the – sorry, honey – of the red herrings that JK gives us early on, and, that as readers, we kind of assess everything that we can, but sometimes the simplest of things that we read and we don’t pick up on are the things that give us the most insight into the future occurrences of the books.

Jamie: Yeah, definitely, yeah.

Claire: You know?

Jamie: Exactly. So, can I say to everyone, go and analyze Harry’s dreams. Every…

[Claire laughs]

Jamie: Go through the books and see what you can…

Claire: Every single one. Every single one.

Jamie: See if you can link them to other things in Book Six. Yeah, every single dream. If there’s one stone left unturned, we are – we are not going to be happy.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: I want theories, I want discussion, I want book proposals, I want – I want the world.

Claire: [laughs] You want the world.

Jamie: [sings] I want it all, I want it all.

Andrew: [laughs] This is our new segment on MuggleCast called “Word by Word.”

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah.

Voicemails – Year 7?

Andrew: Voicemails this week – let’s listen to the first one.

[Audio]: Hey, MuggleCast guys, it’s Amanda from Des Moines, Iowa. I was just listening to my iPod, listening to MuggleCast, while walking my dogs and I just thought all the books of US versions say either “Book 1, Year 1 at Hogwarts,” or “Book 2, Year 2 at Hogwarts.” I was wondering maybe if you guys thought that the seventh book would be somewhere else other than Hogwarts and that’s why they had to mention it on the other ones. Just love to hear what you guys thought. Love your show! Thanks!

Andrew: It’s interesting, but I think they only do it because – well, they wouldn’t know so far ahead of time. Jo wouldn’t be like…

Claire: She might.

Andrew: …”Oh, I’ll put ‘at Hogwarts’ so that in Book Seven we can put ‘at the cave’,” or something.

Ben: [laughs] Yeah.

Claire: Andrew, I definitely – I disagree with that. I think she might. Seriously. Somebody like Jo, I think she definitely might. Maybe that’s just me? Yeah, definitely.

Andrew: I don’t even know where it says this. What am I missing? I don’t see where it says this [laughs] in the books. Ummm… yeah, I don’t know where it says that on the books, but if you want to clarify that, feel free to e-mail us.

Ben: Yeah, I don’t think – even if it did say that somewhere, I don’t think that Jo would change it for the last book.

Andrew: Interesting perspective, though, for walking your dogs.

Voicemails – Crabbe and Goyle

[Audio:] Hi guys, my name is Chris, I’m calling from the San Francisco bay area. I really enjoy your show, and I had a topic for discussion that I hope you guys pick up. I was wondering if, in fact, Hogwarts reopens for Year 7, what do you think will become of Crabbe and Goyle? At the end of Half Blood Prince, Harry notes that he looks over and sees them at the Slytherin table and they seem very lost without Malfoy. Do you think they’ll continue with their education? And, if so, do you think they’re not going to be so nasty towards Harry, or other people, now that Malfoy is no longer there? Thank you, I love your show, and have a good day!

Jamie: They’re going to Harvard. They’ve just applied and they’ve got in. [laughs]

[Claire laughs]

Andrew: I think they will definitely be less – they won’t tease Harry as much. They won’t be in his way as much. As for leaving school…

Claire: If you look at it right, there’s never been as much rivalry in Hogwarts, possibly since the times of James and Lily, as there has since Harry came to school and there’s been this whole thing between him and Draco. So…[laughs] I’ve completely forgotten what I was going to say. Oh, god! No, help me out. Seriously, help me out. [laughs] I’m falling here.

Jamie: I don’t know…

Claire: I think that…

Jamie: I can’t really go into your brain.

Claire: [laughs] I’ve completely lost it as well. No, I think that – I think that Draco is definitely not going to go back for Year 7. How can he possibly, possibly, go back for Year 7?

Jamie: Yeah, no…

Claire: How can he? Seriously.

Jamie: Exactly. He can’t. He can’t.

Claire: With the whole – you know, Albus Dumbledore was a – he was adored by the whole school. How can Draco possibly go back after all that’s happened? Snape’s out of the picture. He’s ran away to wherever he is.

Jamie: Yeah.

Claire: And the future is, basically, that Harry – neither Harry nor Draco are at Hogwarts. That’s just my opinion, but Book Seven, that’s – they do certainly not play a part in Hogwarts for me.

Jamie: Yeah, that’s probably true.

Andrew: All right, next voicemail.

Voicemail – Harry’s Eyes

[Audio:] Hi MuggleCasters, this is Evie from Ohio. In regards to your Episode 51 discussion, when it comes to Harry’s eyes, do you think that Jo is likely to play on the old saying, “The eyes are the windows to the soul,” and do you think she already has? Hope this message finds you well. Bye, bye.

Jamie: But it is interesting that, you know, because it’s like the two wands connecting together and each person seeing into the wand of the other. Couldn’t it be like – if somebody looks into Harry’s eyes, they can see into his soul? Or something like that. I don’t know.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: It’s an interesting quote, though.

Claire: Yeah, again, there’s kind of this great symbolism with that, so…

Andrew: And that’s really a huge part of this story.

Voicemail – Killing Extras

[Audio:] Yeah, hi, this is Angela from Virginia. I had a comment about Episode 50. You made a comment that said that Jo didn’t kill of extras. Well, the comment that I have to that is: does she not consider Cedric an extra because she kills him off in Book Four? And my husband and I were listening to ya’ll’s Episode 50, and you said something about Harry that was inappropriate. Well, it wasn’t that, it was just what you said about Harry being an unpleasant person – a term that you used. And we wondered why that term was used. We love the show anyway. Keep up the good work! Bye, bye!

Jamie: I think when Jo…

Ben: I don’t know what she’s referring to.

Jamie: I can’t remember. We… I mean we probably did, but…

Andrew: Harry said – we said Harry was an unpleasant person?

Jamie: Did we?

Andrew: To be honest, I wish I could remember too.

Jamie: Yeah. What she said about Jo not killing extras, I think it means that… I think Jo, what she means is, every single death that she puts in is significant to the series as a whole. As in she doesn’t kill people for the sake of killing people. You know? Everything is important. Rather than that she kills secondary characters.

Claire: That’s definitely viable. I mean if you look at it, she didn’t kill Dumbledore for no reason, did she?

Jamie: No.

Claire: Seriously, she didn’t kill Dumbledore for no reason. If Dumbledore went through to the final book then Harry would have been invincible almost. So…

Andrew: Okay, the quote from Jo was that “she doesn’t go for the extras.” So, I don’t think it means every death has to be important. But, could Cedric be an exception to this? Or could…

Jamie: It is important though…

Ben: No, people are asking about – people are asking about Book Seven and the deaths that relate to Book Seven. And she’s saying that she’s not going to kill off the minor characters. She’s going to go to those that are closest to the main character.

Jamie: She isn’t doing it for the sake of it though.

Claire: Jo has gotten to a point that she thinks if the Harry Potter fans are so inept, that they are going to look at every single situation and every single angle, and think “Why couldn’t this have happened? Why couldn’t this have happened?” So, she needs to kind of kill off everybody she thinks is kind of viable candidate for kind of – for a reason. “Why couldn’t they have been there? Why couldn’t this have happened?” You know?

Jamie: I was going to say that it isn’t that she’s going for the main characters, but she’s killing the people which are necessary to kill in order for the book to progress. And that each death isn’t a death for the sake of a death, it’s a death because…

Ben: I disagree. I think she’s saying that she’s going to kill those…

Jamie: Well, Ben, I’m sorry, but you’re wrong. Ben… Ben…

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: Ben, do you get sick of being wrong?

Claire: Ben, you are wrong. You are completely wrong. [laughs]

Ben: I’m never wrong. That’s the problem.

Jamie: Or are you used to it by now? Are you used to it by now?

Ben: JK Rowling said that she does not target the extras. That doesn’t mean that she’s going to kill somebody that we don’t realize plays a pivotal role in the series. It means she is going to kill people we know are main characters and we know are really going to tug at our heartstrings when they die. That’s what I think it means.

Claire: I think that’s definitely true. I do think that’s definitely true, Ben. I think you’ve got reason for saying that, but I think it’s gotten to the point where JK is looking at every single viewpoint, every single angle, that she realizes how perceptive the Potter fans are, and she just realizes that, you know, every possible explanation has to be covered because we’re just that good. Basically, we are just that good.

Voicemail – Outcome of the Quidditch World Cup

[Audio]: Hi, MuggleCast! This is Deepa from Edison, New Jersey. I was wondering, how do you think Fred and George Weasley knew the outcome of the Quidditch World Cup? Thanks! Bye!

Ben: I’m going to say time travel.

Andrew: You think Fred and George can do time travel?

Ben: Well…

Jamie: Maybe.

Ben: Yeah, there has to be some way.

Jamie: They are very clever people. But, it could be that, yeah. Or it could be…

Claire: Yeah.

Jamie: …they guessed somewhat right. But, it doesn’t seem like they were right because if you – if you go back to Goblet of Fire

Ben: It’s way too specific for them to have guessed.

Jamie: No, but, if you go back to Goblet of Fire, just after the World Cup has finished and Bagman is seeing Fred and George, they approach him with huge smiles on their faces like they knew that is was going to happen anyway. And they just, you know, were coming to collect their gold.

Andrew: Interesting question, but it seems like Fred and George would have… Harry is their trusted – their financial…

Jamie: Yeah, backer. Backer.

Andrew: …backer now. Wouldn’t they have told Harry they could do time travel?

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: That doesn’t seem like something they would keep secret from him of all people.

Ben: No, no. They – not necessarily.

Jamie: Financial o’backer.

Ben: Yeah, financial o’backer. [laughs]

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: No, they wouldn’t – Harry wasn’t backing them financially, when they originally made the bet. So…

Jamie: Yeah, I guess so, yeah. That’s true.

Ben: They wouldn’t feel like they owed it to Harry, to tell him…

Andrew: Oh, I see what you mean.

Ben: So, yeah. And, of course, there are going to be things they keep secret to themselves. There was never any agreement or any stipulations to Harry giving them the money. He pretty much just said…

Jamie: No, that’s true. Yeah, yeah.

Ben: “Hey, take the money.”

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: Right, right. Okay, fair enough.

Voicemail – Jo on Snape Being Evil

Audio: Hey, I’m Crystal from Arlington Heights, Illinois, and I’m calling because on Episode 50 you were talking about JK Rowling saying that their opinion was correct on Sam and whatever his name was. They said, “In our opinion everything follows from it,” being ‘What if Snape is evil or good?’ That’s what she meant by, “In your opinion” – that their opinion was right. So, I love you guys! Bye!

Ben: I love you too!

Jamie: I love you too, as well!

Andrew: Yay, an explanation.

Ben: Right, and this whole notion that Jo made all these slip-ups at the live reading have pretty much gone to pot, because…

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Not really.

Ben: [exasperated] Yes, they have. You’re wrong.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Andrew: Okay.

Ben: Jo did not slip-up at all, because I said she didn’t.

Dylan Spartz’s Inspirational Quote of the Week

Andrew: Okay. All right, now moving onto our second, but last, Spartz Quote of the Week. But first, Julia, 15, from Canada wrote:

Just in case you were wondering, the quote from “Dylan Spartz’s Inspirational Quote of the Week” is from a song called, “I Put The Metro In Metronome,” by a band called Cute Is What We Aim For. You should check them out, they’re awesome!

Now it is time for Dylan’s Inspirational Quote of the Week. The inspirational quote of the week this week is, “Scotty doesn’t know.” I might have butchered that a bit, but I’m pretty sure that was it. “Scotty doesn’t know.”

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew’s Huh?! E-mail of the Week

Andrew: And, based on the laughter that I just got from that, it is time to retire Dylan Spartz’s Inspirational Quote of the Week in favor of a new segment: Andrew’s “Huh?!” E-mail of the Week.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: It comes from Ryan, 15, of California. He writes:

“Here’s an awesome idea thought of while eating some Chapstick:”


“You should ask the listeners if they have a ritual or tradition while listening to MuggleCast. Personally, I like to eat a six-inch tuna with everything on it, with Sun Chips and a Pepsi!”

So, apparently Ryan, 15, of California eats Sun Chips and a six-inch tuna every time he listens to the show. And he thought of this while eating Chapstick, which is lip balm.

Jamie: But Ben – I mean Andrew, you do realize now that you’ve started this thing, people are going to send these wacky e-mails just to be on Andrew’s “Huh?!” E-mail of the Week.

Andrew: “Huh?!” “Huh?!”

Jamie: Yes, that’s the thing. I refuse to do that, so I’m just going to say Andrew’s “Huh” E-mail of the Week.

Andrew: [laughs] Well, I’m going to talk to Emerson, and he’s going to teach me how to…

Jamie: Ah. Excellent, excellent.

Andrew: …spot the right from wrong, because he’s an experienced Wall of Shamer.

Jamie: He is.

Andrew: Actually, I have a few of them because we get so many e-mails, but some of them are absurd. So, they’re going to get worse than that, I promise you.

Jamie: Awesome.

Andrew: So, that’s my “Huh?!” E-mail of the Week.

[Jamie laughs]

Chicken Soup For The MuggleCast Soul

Andrew: Chicken Soup. Jamie, care to read it?

Jamie: Yes. This comes from Rebecca, 17, from Pennsauken in New Jersey. Wow, we seem to have a…

Andrew: Representing.

Jamie: …quite a few New Jerseyans this week.

Ben: A lot of New Jersey people.

Jamie: Yeah, wow! That’s…ummm… Hey, Ben…

Ben: No coincidence or anything.

Jamie: Isn’t…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: I don’t pick these people based on their locations.

Ben: Yeah, whatever. You’re like, [imitates Andrew] “Oh, Jersey! Oh Jersey!”

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Okay.

“Hey, MuggleCasters! I’m huge fan of the show. I’ve been listening to it since Episode 1. I love it so much that I bought a tape adapter for my car, considering I only have a cassette player in there, so I could listen to MuggleCast on the road with my iPod.”

That is severe dedication for you.

“Well, it so happens the only reason my parents gave me a car, was so I could chauffeur my three younger sisters around. I happen to hate driving them places, because they are so ungrateful about it and with the gas inflation…”

Yep! It must suck, paying three dollars a gallon over there. I can’t imagine what it must be like paying six and a half!

Andrew: [laughs] Jamie, why don’t you tell people, because that’s…

Jamie: It’s… It’s like the gas…

Andrew: …that blows my mind!

Jamie: Okay.

Andrew: That blows my mind.

Jamie: We pay now, currently, a pound a liter, which translates to six and a half dollars a gallon.

Andrew: That is crazy.

Jamie: Back to the voice mails, so – sorry, to the thing.

“Well, it so happens that my sisters hate Harry Potter with a severe passion. I’m the only one in my family that loves it. So, my new plan was that whenever they asked me to take them somewhere, I would always put on MuggleCast in the car. They would always complain and moan, saying, ‘Don’t put on the weird people that talk about Harry Potter!'”

[laughs] Yeah, we are weird.

“But, my plan worked, because my sisters hated MuggleCast so much, they refused to let me drive them anywhere. So, MuggleCast, thank you for saving my gas money…”

Ah, if you want to save more gas money, you should have gone to Eric’s reading…

[Ben and Jamie laugh]

Ben: Eric’s reading!

Jamie: …in Vegas!

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: “…and sanity. Keep up the amazing work. Rebecca.”

Thank you very much, Rebecca. We’re glad that we caused your sisters to hate us so much they won’t even get in the car with you. [laughs]

Andrew: I don’t understand why people would hate us.

Jamie: I do.

Andrew: It makes me sad. [laughs]

Jamie: I hate us. I hate us.

Andrew: Anyway. Oh. Well, I guess I do, too, come to think of it.

Jamie: Awww.

Andrew: I envy us.

Dumbledore-Norris Lines

Andrew: Okay. Jamie, you got a number…another Dumbledore…

Jamie: I do, I do! [laughs] I’ve just got to open my e-mail – a sec. But, I’ll say the first one. I have a couple this week. These are from Lindsay, age 16, from Cape Town, South Africa.

“Dumbledore makes onions cry.”

[laughs] Which I thought was brilliant.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: “When Dumbledore is ready to wake up, he tells the sun to get behind the horizon.”

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: “Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Dumbledore pajamas.”

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: Let’s find some more. Oh, okay. Last one, last one.

“Dumbledore uses a night light, not because Dumbledore is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Dumbledore.”

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: Okay! Last one! Last one, last one! [laughs]

“When the bogey man goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Dumbledore.”

Which I thought was so funny!

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Andrew: Oh, my gosh.

Jamie: Ahhh, I love those.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: I love those.

Andrew: [laughs] Me, too! I can’t believe you’ve never seen Chuck Norris, though, and you still find them so funny!

Jamie: Who?

Andrew: Yeah, you.

Jamie: I have seen Chuck Norris!

Andrew: In the show?

Jamie: What? No, I’ve seen [laughs] Walker, Texas Ranger.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: No, no, Texas, Walker Ranger, or Ranger, Texas Walker, or something – or whatever it’s called, you know?

Andrew: [laughs] Walker, Texas Ranger, I think.

Jamie: That’s the one. That is the one.

Claire’s Scottish Joke

Andrew: I think that does rap up our show this week. P.O. Box, Ben?

Ben: P.O. Box 223, Moundridge, Kansas, 67107.

Andrew: You can also e-mail us at mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com, or call us: 1-218-20-MAGIC. In the United Kingdom: 02081 440677. And Australia: 0280035668. You can also Skype the name, “MuggleCast,” to leave a voicemail, or if you have any other suggestions, comments, complaints, concerns – whatever you want – just e-mail mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com.

Claire: Do I not get to do a Scottish joke?

Jamie: Do you have one?

Claire: I have a Scottish joke, if you want me to do it.

Jamie: Oh, yeah. Go on, then.

Claire: There was once a student at an English university, and his name was Donald MacDonald. He was from the Isle of Skye, and he was living in the Halls of Residence, in his first year at university. After he’d been there a month, his mother came to visit…

[Ben laughs]

Claire: Shut up, Ben! Nose out.

[returns to joke] …carrying reinforcements of his oatmeal. “And how do you find English students, Donald?” she asked. “Mother,” he replied, “They’re such terribly noisy people. The one at that side keeps banging his head against the wall, and he won’t stop. The one at the other side screams, and screams, and screams away into the night.” “Oh, Donald! How do you ever manage to put up with these awfully – awful, noisy English people?”

[comments] I can’t speak! [laughs]

[continues with the joke] “Mother, I do nothing,” he said. “I just ignore them. I just stay here quietly and play my bagpipes.”

[Everyone laughs loudly]

Jamie: Oh, that’s probably one of the best jokes I’ve ever heard in my life.

Andrew: Oh, wow.

Jamie: That is so good. Ah, that’s awesome. That’s awesome. That’s really good. I like that one.

Show Close

Andrew [Show Close with music in background]: That does it for Episode…

Jamie: No, no, no, no, no! Wait. Wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait!

Andrew: What, what, what, what, what, what?

Jamie: Okay, I would just like to do two things. I’d like to congratulate the ancient Romans for finally getting e-mail, because I have got an e-mail from a certain Julius Caesar…

Andrew: Oooh!

Jamie: …age, really old; location, secret passage under the Hog’s Head which leads directly to Rome; subject, my papyrus. Okay, he says:

“My dear fellow Jamie, you are so very welcome for the papyrus I sent you. I am delighted to hear that Mr. Schoen sent it to you. And thank you for your sympathy about being stabbed, but it’s quite all right. You see, no one knew, but I made a Horcrux, and am now disguised as a wizard by the name of Aberforth Dumbledore. My regards, Julius.”

Andrew: Well, wow! What an honor, Jamie. I used to think that our life would be completed when JK Rowling e-mailed, but…

Jamie: Yeah. Yeah, but Julius Caesar.

Andrew: But that, yeah. Forget it. On that note [laughs], that does wrap up Episode 52. I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I am Ben Schoen.

Jamie: I am Jamie O’Lawrence.

Claire: And I am Claire O’Connor.

Andrew: Claire, thank you for joining us this week.

Claire: Thank you so much for having me. It was a pleasure.

Andrew: You can find Claire at RupertGrint.net, and she’s the fantastic host of RupertCast, and also RedCast. To all the listeners, we apologize for a shorter than normal show this week, but we were all pretty busy this past week, and had a few scheduling conflicts, so we’ll be back with our usual length next week. Goodnight, everyone!

Jamie: Bye, everyone!

Claire: Bye!


[Audio]: Hey MuggleCast, this is [inaudible]. My name is [inaudible], I live in Jamaica, look it up. And this is [inaudible]. I love the show that much. I turned 15 yesterday and found that I’m coming up to New York in a couple of days. I’m really excited and I’m definitely buying a MuggleCast t-shirt while I’m there. I love the show, keep it up. Bye!

[Audio]: Hey guys! This is Emily and I live in the bay area in California. I just wanted to say that I love your show. It’s pretty much good when I have to be in the car for an hour, and I need something to listen to other than my sister whining. So, good times! Thanks a lot, guys! Bye!

[Audio]: Hey MuggleCast. This is Tom from England. I just wanted to say that I love the show. It’s great, and I’m really peachy about this UK line, because I can’t call internationally; it’s too expensive. But, keep up the good work, and we hope to hear more of Jamie’s British Jokes of the Day soon. See you later! Bye!

[Audio]: Hey MuggleCasters. This is Allison, calling from South Ohio, and I just wanted to congratulate you all for a wonderful 50th episode. I hope to hear at least 50 more. I also wanted to mention that MuggleCast made it into my local newspaper, the Plain Dealer, but it only mentioned Andrew and Ben, though, not Jamie or Laura or the rest of you guys, but I just thought you’d like to know that you’re famous around the Cleveland area. Again, love the show, and I hope you guys make at least another 50. Thanks! Bye!

[Audio]: Hey guys, it’s Erica from Australia here, and I just thought I’d call my own voicemail line to say that I love your show, and I hope you guys will come down to Melbourne one day for a live show, because I miss Vegas and New York City heat, and we all love you down here. So, see you soon. No pressure or anything. Fire hazards rock. Love you guys! Bye!

[Audio]: Hey MuggleCasters, this is Amanda from Tampa. I wanted to say how much I love you guys, and Jamie has the best singing voice I’ve ever heard. You guys are awesome. Keep up the good work! Bye!


Jamie: Ben, you can do one thing for us, okay? Can you just – if this is the best thing…

Ben: [Impersonating Warrick Davis] Warwick Davis! [laughs]

Jamie: No, no. Well, that too. Two things.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Thank you, that was very kind. Do you think you can please give us a Butterbeer?

Andrew: Later.

Ben: Maybe.

Andrew: Come on. You have to. There’s got to be something you saw at Lumos that must have [censored] you off.

Ben: Yeah, but I can’t talk about that. That would be – that would not relate to Harry Potter.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh loudly]

Jamie: Yeah. And it would be NC-17, as well.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: Something related to the convention [laughs], I’m talking about.


Written by: Micah, Adrienne, Allison, Ally, Amanda, Eloise, Jean, Jessica, Judy, Mandie, Margaret, Martina, Megan, Rhiannon, Roni, Shannon and Shelly

Episode 52: O’MuggleCasters

  • MuggleNet staffer Claire joins us as a co-host.
  • Any takers on a MuggleCast dating service?
  • New T-shirts are on the way! “Squares” and “MicBolt” are almost out of stock.
  • They’re going in the Disney vault forever!
  • US writing a book? Pure blasphemy!
  • Main Discussion: Defense Against the Dark Arts.
  • What happened to all its teachers prior to SS?
  • Was there more to Lupin leaving the position?
  • Snape as the DADA teacher.
  • Who will teach it in HP7?
  • Lots and lots of voicemails.
  • New Dumbledore/Norris facts.
  • “Huh?!” E-mail of the Week.

Download Now
Running time: 52:37, 18.4 MB

Transcript 051

MuggleCast 51 Transcript

Show Intro

Andrew [Show Intro with music in background]: Because 50 episodes of MuggleCast just wasn’t enough, this is MuggleCast Episode 51 for August 13th, 2006.

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Hello everyone, welcome back to the show. I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I’m Ben Schoen, in the middle of the street in Nebraska…

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: …stealing someone’s wi-fi.

Laura: [laughs] I’m Laura Thompson.

Jamie: Oooh! And I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Andrew: And this is the show where we bring you the latest in Harry Potter news, theories, discussions and we’re driving in Nebraska. But, before we go anywhere else, first let’s check in with [laughs] Micah Tannenbaum for the past week’s top Harry Potter news stories.


Micah: MSN has now posted a complete video from the second night of An Evening With Harry, Carrie, and Garp. The charity readings with JK Rowling, Stephen King, and John Irving took place on August 1 and 2 in NYC.

B1 Media, the company which produced the Goblet of Fire DVD, has won for “Major Technical – Best Menu Design” at the 9th annual DVD Awards.  

Producer John Pohl commented, “We’re honored that this award recognized the elaborate and expressive 3D achievement and strong sense of design the menus displayed. The artistic excellence of these menus contributed to an incredible DVD experience and was a result of the sacrifice that our 3D, composite and design teams made.”

JK’s Army, the team who gives MuggleNet fans advice on buying or selling Harry Potter memorabilia, has started a new campaign urging eBay to clamp down on the selling of fraudulent Harry Potter merchandise. They need your help. That’s a scary thought. To find out more about this worthwhile effort and how you can help bring about change, head over to MuggleNet’s Main Page

The Scotsmanreports that Jo has donated a handbag of hers to be auctioned off at the new members’ club 29, in Glasgow’s Royal Exchange Square on October 6th. Jo took the small black Rodo purse to the premiere of Sorcerer’s Stone.

In a new interview, first published in Surrey Life, Draco Malfoy actor Tom Felton talks about his acting career, hobbies, Harry Potter, and what he’s been up to lately. He says filming for the Potter movies is always fun and that it’s weird to see the final product.

Finally, WB has confirmed that Order of the Phoenix will be released in Argentina on July 12th, 2007. As more dates are announced, we will bring them to you.  There a few new Order of the Phoenix set pictures, including one of Dan Radcliffe over on MuggleNet.com

That’s all the news for this August 13th, 2006 edition of MuggleCast.  Back to the show.

Ben Recording While Driving In Nebraska

Ben: There’s a car passing and I’m laying down. Hold on.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: False alarm, they turned, they turned.

Laura: Wouldn’t it be awesome if Ben got arrested and we were recording?

Ben: Live on MuggleCast.

Jamie: Oh, it would be so funny. It would be Spy on Schoen.

Ben: This is ridiculous. I drove three-and-a-half hours tonight tired as – more tired than you can imagine.

Jamie: Tired and soaked to his skin.

Ben: And I get here to record MuggleCast and I go to the library to steal their wi-fi…

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Ben…

Ben: They had it encrypted…

Jamie: I think the term is “use” not “steal.”

Ben: “Use” their wi-fi. They have it password protected. And so I drive around this small podunk town, searching for wi-fi and I found some and now I am parked in the middle of the street…

[Laura laughs]

Ben: …windows rolled up in my car. It’s about 5,000 degrees and I’m here to do MuggleCast.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: So, I am the most dedicated MuggleCaster…

Jamie: That’s commitment to you?

Laura: That is devotion.

Ben: …EVER.

Jamie: Are we still streaming this to the FBI, Andrew? Or did we stop?

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah, I think we’re going to have to stop after this episode.

Jamie: Okay, cool.


Andrew: Eric will be joining us in a minute, but for now, let’s do some announcements.

Don’t forget, everyone, to purchase your MuggleCast t-shirt, especially now. Now is a very critical time to purchase your MuggleCast t-shirt, because there are rumors going around that all t-shirts that do not promote MuggleCast are going to burst into flames within the week.

Jamie: Yep.

Laura: Oh, no!

Ben: Mhm. I’ve heard this rumor.

Jamie: I don’t think it’s a rumor, I think it’s true.

Ben: There’s also a rumor going around that the current MuggleCast t-shirts may be going out of stock.

Andrew: [laughs] So, now is the time to buy.

Ben: Ooo.

Andrew: That’s right.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: No, but seriously, if you do want to support the show, please purchase a MuggleCast t-shirt. As you know, we are taking a trip to California later in September and we need some money to get us out there. So, any help will be appreciated, and you get a cool shirt also.

Ben: An awesome shirt.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: And, Podcast Alley, place your votes for support and the Podcast Awards are now closed. We thank everyone who has voted, once a day and unfortunately…

Ben: Only if you’ve voted once a day.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

Ben: Otherwise…

Andrew: No thank you. [Still laughing]

Laura: Mhm.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: No, thanks to everyone and we unfortunately won’t know the winners – well, we won’t know the winner of the “People’s Choice” category until actually the ceremony. So, we’ll know if PotterCast won in “Entertainment,” but we won’t know if we won in “People’s Choice.” Which, is worrisome because we don’t want to all fly out there [laughs] and lose, but…

Laura: [Laughs] Yeah.

Ben: Oh well. Oh well.

Andrew: Oh well, it will still be fun.

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: Andrew, I had something I wanted to do really quick.

Andrew: Okay.

Laura: I got a couple of things from the PO Box today, thank you Ben. One was from Patricia. She sent me some hand decorated shoes – they’re pretty cool. She did them in my three favorite colors. And then Lauren sent me this really cool shirt and she hand-embroidered this really awesome pattern on it. It’s got a flower and a dove and it’s really, really awesome and I’m wearing it right now. So, I just wanted to say thank you to them.

Ben: Awesome.

Laura: That was very sweet and thanks to Ben for sending them. [laughs]

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Ben: Finally. A little update about the PO Box. I finally got my butt in gear.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: The other day I actually responded to a letter. I am a changed man.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Ben: So, please send anything, everything to the PO Box.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Jamie: Can I just thank Julius Caesar for that excellent piece of papyrus he sent me. I only just got it, thanks to Ben.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Because he was a bit late. But, it’s very nice Julius, thank you. And, I’m sorry you got stabbed.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: It was a nice thought.

Listener Rebuttals – Comments on Episode 50

Andrew: Listener rebuttals this week. Jamie do you want to take the first one?

Jamie: Yep. This is from Casey, 15 from Wyoming. She says:

“Hi, I just want to say I loved the last episode,” that was Episode 50, our one-year anniversary episode. “Especially with all of the music. I especially like Your Song by Elton John…” There you go, Ben! “…because my choir had to sing it one year for a concert, and even though no one else liked it, I did.” And here comes the award for sarcastic comment of the century.

[Laura and Andrew laugh]


“Also, I wanted to tell Jamie that he has a beautiful voice, and should pursue a career in music.”

Andrew: Oh, wow.

Jamie: Thank you for that.

[Laura and Andrew laugh]


“I love the shows, and it is the highlight of my week. Peace!” Thank you very much Casey.

Ben: [sings] “I just want to tell everybody, this is your song.”

Voicemail – Cascada

Andrew: Jamie, we also got a voicemail this week that I thought you should take a listen to. I know you mentioned to me earlier this week that you thought, maybe you could write to Cascada and get a little money out of this because you have been promoting them.

Jamie: Exactly. Definitely.

Andrew: So, I think this voicemail will help you out.

Jamie: Go for it.

[Audio]: Hey, MuggleCasters! This is Emily and I’m from Missouri. And, I just wanted to tell you that I hated the song “Every Time We Touch” until I heard Jamie sing it or, the part of it that you did post him singing. Anyway, thank you so much for giving me a new favorite song. Bye!

Jamie: Awww.

Laura: Awww.

Jamie: Isn’t that lovely? Thank you very much. And, I will be writing to Cascada now and I will be requesting ten pounds every single time that song is played.

[Laura and Andrew laugh]

Jamie: That can get us to California.

Listener Rebuttal – Every Time We Touch

Andrew: Yeah, in no time. Next song Ray Mur – not song. [laughs] Next rebuttal comes from Ray Murphy of Ireland. He writes:

“Just thought I’d say how is it Jamie didn’t hear that song until he went to America? I myself am from Ireland and us and the United Kingdom kind of share the music charts. The same songs are released at the same time, Cascada’s “Every Time We Touch” has been released here for its second time this year and is constantly on all music video channels and radio stations. Thought I’d just bring dat up. Class show buds.” [laughs]

Thanks for writing in real English words. [laughs]

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: No seriously, Ray. It’s just I don’t really pay attention to the charts, I think. So, and I don’t really watch the music channels and stuff so I get stuff late. Although, I might add that I sent Ben “Mr. Brightside” by The Killers – no, no sorry. It wasn’t Ben. It was…

Andrew: Emerson?

Jamie: …Emerson, yeah. I sent that song to him about two months before it got big over there so that’s my claim to fame.

Ben: Actually, you sent me James Blunt’s…

Jamie: Oh, so there you go.

Ben:You’re Beautiful like, four months before it got big over here.

Andrew: Really? Hmm.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: Mhm.

Andrew: Next…

Ben: [sings] You’re beautiful.

Andrew: Oh god! This show, really, we should call it “MuggleCast: Music Mix” or something.

Jamie: Music – yeah.

Andrew: Something funny. Insert it there. Next one comes…

Ben: I don’t think music mix quite, [laughs] quite does the trick, Andrew.

Andrew: [laughs] Thanks for the support, Ben.

Jamie: [laughs] MusicCast. That is original.

Listener Rebuttal – Will The Trio Survive Book Seven?

Andrew: Next rebuttal comes from Meghan of Nova Scotia, age 20. She writes:

“I completely… [laughs] I completely agree [Laura laughs] with what Ben said on this subject. It’s not realistic to me for all of them to survive. All three of them are still quite young and are not all that powerful. Why should they make it out of the final battle alive and others more powerful should die? It is just not probable.”

Jamie: Thank you, Meghan. This is what I’ve been trying to say for so long. That it’s not a fairy tale. These people – you know, if three 16-year-olds who haven’t learned as much magic are going to war with all these adults who are qualified and everything, they can’t all survive. It’s, it’s just – it would be completely unrealistic. Although, I hope…

Laura: No one said that all the 16-year-olds were going to…

Ben: So Jamie, you – Jamie, you agree with me?

Laura: …were going to survive, though.

Jamie: No. No, no, no. No. I agree that it is unrealistic to expect all three, considering the task they’ve taken on and the danger. Lupin said in Order of the Phoenix that there are dangers involved that they can have no idea of and they still don’t have any idea of. And it’s just some of the stuff they’re going to be up against – dark magic they haven’t experienced before, spells they don’t even know. It’s just, I really think it’s improbable that they’re all going to survive. It’s a horrible thought, but…

Andrew: Yeah.

Listener Rebuttal – Every Time We Touch

Andrew: In relation to that rebuttal, Bryan, age 16, from Pennsylvania writes:

“Though this e-mail is for all you MuggleCasters in general, I particularly – blarh – particularly [Andrew and Laura laughs] have something to say to Laura.”

Laura: Oh no.


“I don’t understand why you and the majority of the MuggleCasters are so convinced that JKR ‘slipped-up’ about the Trio living through the series.”

Jamie: Oooh.


“I have watched the entire video you guys just posted, and I honestly wasn’t given that impression at all. Laura, mmm girl, [Jamie and Laura laugh] you tried to say that JKR said, after naming the Trio, ‘But I’m the only one that knows who lives through Book Seven.’ She never says this!”

Jamie: Apart from Chuck Norris.


“The only thing she does say… [laughs] The only thing she does say, after the audience begins to shout out names, is: “I’m the only one that knows who’s actually dead.”

And he is correct. I’m reading the transcript now.

Laura: He is. What I would like to say in relation to that, though, Bryan…

Ben: Ha! In your face, Laura.

Andrew: No, no, no.

Laura: Hey! Shut up, Ben.

[Jamie laughs]

Laura: Anyway, you went on in your e-mail to kind of discuss how it was misleading to misquote her and I completely agree with you. However, I think that her saying, “I’m the only one who knows who’s actually dead” implies that she’s the only one who knows who dies in Book Seven. So, that was why that thought came into my head because I only went to the readings. I didn’t actually go through and read the transcripts and get the actual quote, so you were absolutely right, but I do think that it was somewhat of a slip-up on her part because she did say she was the only one who knew…

Andrew: It was.

Laura: …that died. So, yeah.

Andrew: It was. I think that gives it away. And let’s read that whole part right now. I have the transcript up right here. She says – I’m very prepared tonight.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: She says, “I’d take Harry to apologize to him. I’d have to take Harry, Ron, and Hermione. I would…this is…see…I know who’s actually…” Well, what happens… King says – Stephen King says to her, “Hagrid. Take Hagrid.” And then JK Rowling says, “See, I know who’s actually dead.” But I mean, that could also be saying that Hagrid dies.

Ben: But she never actually said that she was inviting only people who live to the table.

Andrew: No, but…

Ben: I don’t see how that’s – I don’t see how that’s implied.

Andrew: Because she’s saying, “See, I know who’s actually dead.”

Laura: Because she’s saying… Yeah.

Andrew: She’s talking about who she would take to dinner who’s alive.

Laura: That was alive, yeah. I guess it’s just a matter of opinion, really, but that was how I perceived it. [laughs]

Ben: You guys are wrong, okay?

Andrew: Hold on. And then Stephen King says…

Ben: [laughs] Just kidding.

Andrew: “Pretend you can take anyone.” And then she says, “Pretend I can take anyone? Well then, I would definitely take Dumbledore.”

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: “I’d take Dumbledore, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and, Hagrid. I’d take Hagrid.” Okay?

Jamie: What’d she say to them?

Ben: So that means Hagrid’s going to die?

Jamie: Maybe, no. But what would she say to them, though? She’s just sitting there. “So, I wrote you.” [laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] Correct, Jamie. Correct.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Thank you. That would be an interesting conversation.

Eric Joins The Show

Andrew: Now moving on to our main discussion this week. Oh! Hold on, hold on. Well, he should be recording when he comes in. Let’s see if he’s a good enough podcaster to be doing that.

Jamie: Yeah, is he prepared?

Andrew: Eric, are you recording? Eric?

Eric: Hi.

Andrew: Hey, are you recording?

Eric: Yes, I am.

Laura: Hey Eric.

Eric: Hey everybody.

Andrew: Oh! He is a good podcaster. Everybody, a round of applause. Eric Scull has just joined us in the Skype chat this evening.

[All clap]

Laura: Yay!

Eric: Oh, wow.

Ben: Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Eric Scull!

[All laugh]

Eric: Thank you, thank you.

Andrew: Nice one, Ben.

Jamie: Why don’t you give an opening speech? Actually, wait.

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Eric: [laughs sarcastically] No, anyway. What are we talking about?

Andrew: We just wrapped up listener rebuttals and we were just transitioning into our main discussion when you so kindly conference called. So…

Ben: Eric, I need your praises. I am in the middle of a street…

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: …in a small town in Nebraska, stealing someone’s wi-fi. Aren’t I the best MuggleCaster ever? Or what?

Jamie: Yeah.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Yes, Ben. Three praises for Ben.

Laura: Sure, Ben.

Eric: Round of applause for Ben, everybody. [claps]

Andrew: Oh, we already did. We already had one.

[Everyone laugh]

Jamie: I can beat that.

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: I can beat that, Ben.

Eric: I can, too.

Andrew: How? Oh, yeah.

Jamie: I’m…

Andrew: What time is it there?

Jamie: I’m hanging… Oh well, yeah. Well, no, apart from it being 4:54 a.m., I’m floating down a river…

[Everyone laugh]

Jamie: …hanging onto a raft…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: …and I’ve put my laptop on top and Skype’s open and it’s a very nice laptop and it could fall in.

[Everyone laugh]

Ben: Oh, really. Yeah.

Jamie: So I’m ten times – ten times more committed than you are, Ben.

Eric: I…

Laura: Well, not to mention the nine hour flight to get over here for the live shows.

Andrew: [laughs]Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah. Exactly, exactly.

Eric: Guys, I’ve just worked two jobs – yay for me – in one day. I worked 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. full-time at school, and then I worked from 5 p.m. until 11:30 p.m. at the movies, so I’m kind of mellowed-out here, but, yeah.

Andrew: Awww.

Ben: Okay, well let’s move on with the main discussion…

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: …because it’s already 100 degrees in my car and this laptop is adding to the heat and…

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: [sings] That’s why they call you Mr. Fahrenheit.

Ben: …and the car is starting to fog up.

Andrew: Okay, well, our…[laughs]

Laura: Roll down your window a crack!

Ben: I can’t because then my lights will come on again.

Eric: [singing] Here in my car, life is safest of all. I can lock all my doors.

Jamie: Very good Eric, Gary Newman.

Eric: Yes, Gary Newman, Cars. Download it, everybody.

Jamie: Very good. It’s a good song.

Andrew: Too much music on this show. Too much music.

Eric: Oh, there is.

Andrew: I’m just kidding. Who handles music?

Ben: R.I.A.

Andrew: Yeah, they’re going to come after us.

Main Discussion – Book Seven Theories

Andrew: Main discussion this week: Book Seven theories. And we’re going to start off with one today by Jamie Lawrence.

Jamie: This is a kind of big discussion, and it’s a weird discussion, because I’ve never seen any conclusive evidence throughout the entire series. Because some theories, they start of with Book One, and they carry on and get more solid and things change, but you can always follow them. Whereas this one, it’s complete speculation. So, we’ll probably be completely wrong, and in two years when the book comes out – yes, two years, not Summer 2007, I’m sorry, but Summer 2008 –– when the book comes out. We’ll probably be proven wrong. But anyway, here goes.

[Laura laughs]

Harry’s Eyes

Jamie: We’re going to talk about Harry’s eyes. JK Rowling has said Harry’s eyes and their similarity to Lily’s is paramount to the series as a whole, completely essential. So, I’d question, such as what is the relationship between their eyes? Are his physical eyes going to play a part, or does it show some kind of bond between them? Do you think that the color is important? And just what exactly do they mean?

Let me start off with something, okay? Let me put something out there. Harry’s eyes have been described several times, and it’s been driven home by Jo that his eyes are green, and obviously there’s the Slytherin connection. What could that mean? And, of course, we’ve seen an increase in the people who thinks Snape likes Lily. So, is there any kind of Slytherin connection there between them?

Eric: Snape is his father.

Jamie: Yes, Eric, yes!

Laura: Ewww. It’s just really difficult, because we keep hearing that we’re going to see what the big deal is about their eyes, and it hasn’t happened yet, and one would think that if it was so important, the movies would get it right. But Daniel Radcliffe has blue eyes, so I don’t understand.

Jamie: No, Laura, it’s fine. They’ll just tie him down and inject some green dye into his eyes, and that will make it all worthwhile, won’t it? You know, that’s fine.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: We’ll do that for the next one.

Andrew: Well, they’ll probably be kicking themselves when Movie Seven comes along…

Jamie: Yeah, they will. Yeah.

Andrew: …and they’re like, “Hmmm, I guess we’d better change his eyes.” But that can be solved with contacts.

Eric: Yeah. [laughs]

Ben: No, Jo wouldn’t have let that happen. If it was that important, his eyes would have been green.

Eric: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah, but she said it’s very important, but I found on Google one absolutely charming Harry Potter fan put a theory out there. He suggests that Harry will go to Godric’s Hollow, go to his mother’s grave, pluck out her eyeballs, and then he will finally have, “his mother’s eyes.”

Eric: Yeah.

Jamie: That’s… That’s…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Ah, that’s a wonderful theory.

Eric: That’s absolutely charming, as you put it, Jamie.

Laura: That’s very charming.

Jamie: Whoever that was, I think you’re onto a winner there, son.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: But in all seriousness guys, do you think there’s – does anyone have any idea, any speculation on what the eyes mean?

Eric: Well, I’d like to give some credit to Jamie for coming up with, making this a somewhat worthwhile discussion.

Jamie: Thank you, Eric.

Eric: Well, the whole eye thing, it’s a matter of, if eyes are, as you said, the underlying thing of the book, then it’s also to say that if he has his mother’s eyes, that love – I think it just reinforces love being a central theme of the book. Because Lily loved Harry and died for him and all that stuff. And all these connections to his mother, and love, and maybe even Snape’s love for Lily just underlies love. How is love going to play a part in the next book? I’d really like to know, because love so far hasn’t really acted as like a force against Voldemort with the exception for those very few times where it crippled him very much so.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: But beyond that it’s just…

Ben: Well the…

Eric: Yeah.

Ben: But when Lily sacrificed herself back when Harry was a baby, that was the first way love played any role in the series.

Eric: Right. And love in the future kind of played a little on the back burner, as far as circumstances, how Harry made friends, the certain relationships he had because he could love, because he could forgive. Things like that, that’s how Pettigrew owes him the debt. Things like that. Love does kind of… If you look carefully enough, love does weave itself in between everything, including Pettigrew, including maybe even Dumbledore. I’m sure you could draw love connections through everything. As a result of Harry loving, this has happened. So, we’ve not seen anything, have we, like certain things only eyes can do, or certain eyes?

Jamie: Exactly, yeah.

Eric: Yeah, there’s never been really a separate thing of eyes. I mean, fingers you can even call are more important than eyes, because long fingers apparently signifies – and there’s enough evidence to guess this. Longer fingers mean greater power.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: But it doesn’t seem like there’s any eye signifiers out there.

Jamie: Perhaps he’s inherited Lily’s x-ray vision, and he’s going to find all the Horcruxes. Something like that.

Andrew: Lily has x-ray vision?

Jamie: Yeah, didn’t you know that, Andrew?

Andrew: No.

Jamie: You seriously need to reread Book One, seriously.

Andrew: I know. [laughs] I’m sorry.

Laura: I just think it’s interesting that green is the color that’s supposed to represent envy, and Harry is anything but envious, don’t you think?

Ben: Well, he’s envied a lot.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: Yeah, that’s true. I just think that since he has the power of love, it’s just interesting to me that something that is so often reinforced in the series is that he has his mother’s eyes, and they are bright emerald green. So, I just thought that was interesting.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: The whole Slytherin thing is interesting, but I think it’s kind of weak, because there’s what, four eye colors?

Jamie: Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Eric: Yeah.

Laura: Yeah, and Voldemort has red eyes, Gryffindor color.

Andrew: Oh!

Eric: Yeah, surely Voldemort doesn’t have red eyes because he loves so much that it’s just, you know? It’s like saying, you’re so full of poo that you’re eyes are brown. It just has no correlation whatsoever.

Jamie: Yeah, I guess. I don’t know. So, we’ll open this to you all. Write in, and tell us what you think about Harry’s eyes, and their significance in the series as a whole, their significance with Lily, weather there is a Slytherin connection, and weather you think Harry will go to his mother’s grave, pluck out her eyeballs, and then he will finally have his mother’s eyes.

[Eric laughs]

Jamie: I think it’s a pretty solid theory, so, we’ll see if you agree.

Lily Is Good At Charms

Andrew: What about the point you have in here, Ollivander said Lily was very good at Charm work?

Jamie: Oh, yeah. Well, I read this awhile ago, and he specifically said in the shop that she was extremely good at Charm work, and I’m just wondering if that’s going to feature in Harry, Harry’s fight in the final book. Probably not.

Andrew: Well, she was good at Potions, too, and that’s pretty interesting.

Eric: I find it interesting. I would really like to know what Charms is more advanced at. They took a Charms OWL but we haven’t actually seen any Charms have we? Since Year One where it was obviously Alohomora and the levitating thing Wingardium Leviosa. That was like the only Charms we’d actually seen, wasn’t it? Like where they’re – what’s the difference between charms, spells, enchantments, hexes, they’re just different names to describe a different type of the same thing.

Jamie: Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Eric: So, the fact that you could study Charms, I wonder how different Charms is then to studying hexes, studying spells. Things like that.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: So, if Charms requires more eye work…

Ben: Well, the thing about Charms – the thing you were talking about with classifications, I think it starts with spells and then everything fits into spells. You know what I’m saying? It’s sort of a tree that sort of works it’s way down.

Eric: Yeah, I understand.

Eyes In Battle

Jamie: Can I just come out with a revelation? Oh my god, do you know what I think it is? It’s because in Occlumency and whatever the other one is…

Eric: Oh god, wait.

Ben: Legilimens?

Eric: I think I know where you’re going with this.

Jamie: It’s 5 a.m. It’s 5 a.m. So, I can’t even…

Eric: It’s midnight you Brit.

Jamie: …remember who Harry Potter is.

Eric: Right.

Jamie: Okay, Occlumency you need eye contact. Perhaps there’s something there with Snape and Harry and…

Eric: With eyes.

Jamie: Yeah, something like that, and no, no, no, no…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: I’ve got it. I’ve got it. Okay, I’m so excited now. She died to protect Harry. Perhaps she has given him some type of mental barrier, well not mental, but eye barrier against Voldemort’s Legilimency. There you go. When he finally fights or something. It’s like when you wear contact lenses and a piece of dirt flies into your eye and it just bounces off because you have something protecting your eye.

Eric: Doesn’t it get stuck between your eye and your contact forever?

Jamie: Eric…

Laura: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: Eric, you just completely ruined my analogy now. I hate you.

Ben: Jamie, they already have – Harry and Voldemort already have the connection through the scar, so…

Eric: Yeah.

Ben: …regardless or not of the eyes, eye contact is irrelevant because he…

Jamie: No, it can be stronger.

Ben: …can still use Occlumency. Yes.

Jamie: It could be stronger with eye contact. So, it’s just and idea. It’s just an idea.

Eric: It’s interesting because if Harry’s going to revert – well, Ben said, the connection is through the scar and they said in Book Six that Voldemort was practicing Occlumency against Harry so Harry couldn’t pry into his mind, to pry into Voldemort’s mind. Not that Harry would want to – just that fact. If they ever have duel and eyes are going to be part of the thing, I kind of see Harry being without his scar or something. That kind of instance because you’d think they’d be able to mentally – that eyes wouldn’t be…

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Eric: If you’re talking about battling Harry in the future with eyes playing importance or significance, I really don’t know. I just want to know more about Lily. I think once we know a little bit more about Lily…

Jamie: Yeah, I agree.

Eric: …that will reveal everything.

Ben: She must have…

Eric: Whether or not she had anything with Snape, or how she ever accepted a bum like James. According to Remus and Sirius, he cleaned himself up, but still. Based on what we saw in the Pensieve in Book Five , I just think she was a smart girl who wouldn’t really fall for James, but I don’t know.

Laura: He was a 15-year-old boy though. I mean, let’s not kid ourselves here, fifteen year old boys can be jerks.

Eric: Yeah, but he was cruel.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: He was really cruel.

Laura: Well, yeah, but you guys are all cruel to each other.

Ben: Never.

Jamie: No !It’s love. It’s love cruel. It’s love cruel, isn’t it Ben?

Laura: Oh, right. Right.

Ben: Right.

Jamie: It is. We love each other.

Gray and Black Eyes

Andrew: Rebuttal comes from Crystal, 13 – not a rebuttal but an e-mail comes from Crystal, 13 of Chicago. I was just looking into the MuggleCast box and she had a question about eyes, and she says:

In the Harry Potter books, many people are described of having black or gray eyes. Do people really have black or gray eyes? I suppose gray could just be a really light shade of blue, but I’ve never seen anyone with black eyes. I’m not sure why I’m asking you, but I’m at the point of insomnia where I’m an odd sort of calm coming over me and I’ve been listening to MuggleCast for nine straight hours. [Everyone laughs]

Oh, well that’s very nice.

Laura: Awww.

Andrew: Could it be that Jo’s just… They don’t really have black or gray eyes, they have…

Jamie: They’ve got beetle black eyes. For Hagrid.

Andrew: No, that’s just the way…

Ben: Maybe she just describes them as being…

Laura: Yeah.

Ben: That’s her way of saying they’re really dark.

Andrew: Like metaphorically?

Laura: Not to mention – yeah. Have you ever seen anyone with such dark brown eyes they look black?

Andrew: Right.

Ben: Well, my eyes even. The pupil and the little center thing blends in with the whole eye.

Jamie: Iris.

Ben: The iris.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: No, no, that’s the circular thing. It’s all circular so it doesn’t really say anything but…

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: …the little bits the pupil, then the iris, then it’s the white bit – that’s the scientific term, the white bit.

Eric: Well, I think the eye thing is just characterization without realism – not necessarily without realism – but if she describes someone with having small black eyes, and beetle black as Hagrid’s are, you can sort of picture that even if you’ve never seen anybody with black eyes. I think just the way it’s done, you can understand what somebody with gray eyes would be kind of cool or chilly inside, or something like that.

Jamie: But, Sirius has cold gray eyes, and he’s nice.

Eric: Well, he’s somber. He’s kind of reserved.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Eric: Kind of faded out, from all the years in Azkaban.

Jamie: Yep.

Theories From Chamber of Secrets Forums

Andrew: Should we move on now to our next discussion?

Laura: Yeah, I know that we have been talking about featuring some theories from the Chamber of Secrets forums, and according to Eric we haven’t really been doing it…

Andrew: We haven’t done it at all.

Eric: I didn’t really say that, but…

Laura: Yeah, well you said they were over there with pitchforks and…

Eric: Yeah. [laughs}

Laura: All sorts of nasty things. So I was browsing the forums over there [stumbles on speech] the other day and I can’t even talk right now because it’s 12 o’clock in the morning and…

Jamie: Sorry, sorry, can I interrupt here and say, Laura, I’m sorry it’s 12 o’clock. Why don’t you get some sleep?

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: I swear, every single time. Go and have a lay down and I’ll stay up all night and I’ll come back after you’ve slept and carry on.

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: Okay. All right, all right, all right. Thank you, Jamie. Thank you, Jamie.

Andrew: That’s very kind of you, Jamie.

That Night At Godric’s Hollow

Laura: Now, I was kind of interested about a theory that I saw concerning Godric’s Hollow and who was there the night that the Potter’s were murdered, and this theory, I think it was a bit iffy but it was interesting all the same. Now, some users have been clever and pointed out how Jo’s pretty specific about how the Godric’s Hollow scene should be filmed and we didn’t see James in that scene, and we didn’t really see anyone else in that scene apart from Lily and Voldemort, who was just in a cloak type thing. And in the Prisoner of Azkaban movie, we didn’t hear James’ voice saying, “Lily take Harry and run.” We only heard Lily yelling. Now, some of them think that what could end up happening in Book Seven would be along the same lines that happened in Book Three, where Harry goes back in time to Godric’s Hollow and is actually the one telling Lily to take Harry and run. What did you guys think of that?

Eric: I don’t like it.

Jamie: Yeah, it’s a bit…

Eric: Didn’t Dumbledore say something about how many times you would ever have to turn a Time Turner just to go back what, 15 or 17 years?

Laura: Mhm.

Eric: 18 years?

Jamie: Really? When did he say that?

Eric: It might not be a thing, but even if they didn’t say it, how long would that – can you really go back in time that far and change that much? Is there that power? And also, the thing about not hearing James in the thing in Prisoner of Azkaban

Laura: See…

Eric: We didn’t really hear a lot of things in Prisoner of Azkaban the movie.

Laura: No, we really didn’t. See, what I didn’t really think this theory solved was how Harry would defeat Voldemort. It would just seem like it was a recurring cycle; it wouldn’t really solve anything. But at the same time, I find it interesting because if you read Prisoner of Azkaban when Harry says that he saw his dad on the other side of the lake, it was either Remus or Sirius that said, “You saw James,” and he got very pale. And if this theory were true, then it would kind of lend itself to the fact that James had survived that night, wouldn’t it?

Eric: I think actually James – I think JK Rowling shot down the idea that James was still alive.

Laura: I think she did, too, but I find it interesting because she was so specific about how that scene should be filmed. I think that she really put a lot of time into making sure that they did it right, and I find it interesting that we didn’t see him in that scene…

Eric: Well…

Laura: …and we didn’t see anyone else.

Eric: You’ve got to understand who’s telling the story as well, and you know, whereas we did see Voldemort entering the house, we only really needed to understand what happened with his mother and him at the time, and JKR was very specific with how that scene was filmed, apparently. I mean, that’s the rumor, but there’s also part of when the camera spins you can almost see…

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: …another figure. People think that’s Snape. You know, in the movie, like things in the background and stuff. There’s like a shadow present, things like that.

Ben: But, honestly, guys, don’t you think that Lily would have…

Laura: Mhm.

Ben: …pleaded with Severus if she knew that he sort of had a soft spot for her? Wouldn’t you think that we would have actually heard a mention of Severus, rather than just the pleading with, “Don’t kill me – take me, not my son”?

Laura: Mhm.

Andrew: You’re saying, Ben, she would be able to influence him, because Snape was…

Ben: Well, I think we would – Harry, in the brief recollection that he has of his parents being killed, that when his mother’s pleading, you’d hear plead with Snape, not just Voldemort.

Laura: Yeah, but it’s also – it’s also just that: it’s a brief recollection. It’s not the entire occurrence. She could have pleaded with Snape, but I don’t know. For some reason, I’m not sure if I could see her doing that…

Eric: Yeah.

Laura: …just because of her attitude towards him in the Pensieve scene.

Eric: I can compare Lily to Ginny. I think Lily and Ginny are very similar in the way that they are women who understand the tasks set upon them, the dangers therein. At least, that’s who Ginny is now. I think if Lily happened to see Snape there, she would nod to him and give him the look of utmost disappointment, but I guess she would accept that he was there, or something along those lines. I don’t know.

Laura: Yeah, but even if she did plead with Snape that wasn’t going to stop Voldemort.

Don’t Try This At Home

Ben: I’m paranoid. I’m glancing out my mirror.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Jamie: Do you hear a siren, Ben?

Back To James

Eric: Yeah, James is definitely dead. I remember now. It’s because there was a theory running that James and Lupin had actually switched bodies prior to James’s death.

Laura: Oh, yes! [groans and laughs]

Eric: Actually, a decently thought out…

Laura: I remember that one.

Eric: …plotline, but it was very clever.

Laura: I don’t know. I’ve never – I’ve never bought into the idea that the Potters were alive, really.

[Ben laughs]

Eric: See, that’s the thing. You know, Jo said in her response, I believe it’s even on her website, she said something like, “Brilliant theory.” I mean, that was the first thing she said, “but, no, James would never abandon his family at a time of death…”

Jamie: Of course he did.

Eric: “…and he died with them.” Yeah, he died with them is pretty much what she said. So, you know, and I don’t know how he would go on living and watching Harry, or letting Harry be with the Dursleys and all that stuff.

Laura: Mhm. I agree.

Eric: So, I think he’s still dead.

Jamie: I concur, too.

Eric: But, you know, that’s not to say that I don’t find it incredibly weird how certain Harry was that he saw his father on the lake that night. But then, that was supposed to emphasize just how much like James Harry looked, or something crazy like that.

Jamie: Precisely. Yeah, yeah. That’s it.

Eric: I don’t know. But it seemed really awkward…

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: …like it didn’t really fit there.

Laura: Well, how did they not match up, Eric?

Eric: It’s kind of like, okay: you can see that she was just trying to draw similarities between Harry and James, but Harry was, like, beyond certain that it wasn’t… I don’t know. Maybe it’s a sign of his immaturity or inability to grasp that it was indeed him. Maybe it’s his inability to get with the picture and understand things entirely, but he was a little bit, I don’t know. I think there was something going on there, about that night, and about Dumbledore and how he acted that night. That whole night, they went back in time, I really think that there was just something else there that wasn’t really – I mean, I’ll accept that it’s Harry, you know, who thought that Harry was Prongs or whatever, but there just seemed to be so much extra stuff that might come in place later. You know? The similarities drawn between Harry and James were brought up again and brought up again, but so were Harry’s eyes, with his parents. It’s just like any of his lineage is – seems to be emphasized throughout the books: his parents, his love for his parents, which might, again, be love. So, what does that mean, you know?

Laura: Wouldn’t you agree, thought, that he might have thought it was his dad because of how powerful the Patronus was? Maybe he thought he couldn’t conjure one?

Eric: It could be that.

Laura: A powerful one?

Eric: It could be the lack of confidence in that, but he… I don’t know. It’s just interesting how certain he was, how wrong he was, apparently. I think James is dead, don’t get me wrong. I just think there might be something else really weird going on there, and I can’t really explain it. But, it’s kind of like Dumbledore says, “Those we love never truly leave us,” and Harry really wanted to see his father; at least, he really wanted help, and something in the form – what appeared to him as his father, but it turned out just to be him.

Ben: Well, the fact that the Patronus was a stag, and that was his dad’s Anim – Animag [stumbling] Animagus form.

Eric: Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Laura: Mhm.

Eric: Right. That’s why it’s brilliant. That’s a good point. Thank you.

Ben is Melting

Ben: I’m sorry, guys, I’m not talking very much. I’m melting. I am melting.

Andrew: I don’t believe you, Ben. That’s almost impossible.

Ben: I will take a picture of…

[Laura laughs]

Ben: I will take a picture of myself with Photo Booth.

Eric: [to Ben] It is. [laughs]

Andrew: Can you? Can you please, right now? [laughs]

Ben: Yes, right now.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Do it.

Ben: And we will put it up on…

Eric: Yeah!

Andrew: Can we use it as the show title, Laura?

Eric: Ben melting!

Andrew: For those who subscribe via iTunes?

Eric: Ben melting!

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Sure. Here, I’ll turn up my screen up to full brightness now.

Andrew: Oh, this is going to be fun.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Eric: Ahhh.

Ben: This is disgusting.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: You can’t see anything, really.

Andrew: Ben, do you have your MuggleCast t-shirt on?

Ben: [laughs] I do, actually!

Andrew: Oh, this is perfect! [laughs]

[Laura laughs]

Ben: I think I got enough punishment, though. If a police officer comes up here…

[Laura laughs]

Ben: … and he’s like, “You’re coming in,” I’d be like, “Thank god! Is there air conditioning in the building?”

[Andrew, Eric, and Laura laugh]

Ben: Anything to get out of this car!

Eric: Yeah!

Andrew: Listen, you have to promise me that if they come up, you’ve got to keep recording [laughs]. We need that!

Ben: Okay, I will.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Andrew: No you won’t. That’s silly. What town are you in?

Eric: MuggleCast 50: Live from Jail!

Ben: Alma, Nebraska.

Andrew: All right. Let me Local Google or Google Local and get the number there… [laughs]

Laura: Yeah, let’s get their number.

Andrew: … and call the police station!

Jamie’s Contest

Jamie: Ben, how do you spell that name?

Ben: A – L – M – A, Nebraska.

Jamie: Okay. The first person to write in and tell us the population…

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: … of Alma, Nebraska, wins a free t-shirt.

Andrew: [laughs] Okay! He’s not joking, either.

Jamie: E-mail… Yeah, no, I’m not joking. Seriously.

Laura: Because Jamie’s going to pay for it for you.

Jamie: So, e-mail Ben and…

Eric: The correct population [laughs].

Jamie: Yeah, well, we’ve got to go and count them, so it might take a while to send you a t-shirt, but it will be fine.

Ben: E-mail… E-mail…

Jamie: E-mail jamie at staff dot mugglenet dot com with your answer.

Ben: Yes.

Jamie: First person gets a free t-shirt.

Andrew: If you already have a t-shirt, don’t – don’t play.

Voicemail – Harry The Auror?

Andrew: Well, we’ve got a few voicemails this week. A little update on the co host. Kevin is not here because he’s sick. E-mail Kevin at staff. He’ll never read his e-mail, but send it anyway and in another year I’m sure…

Ben: [imitates Kevin] Kevin…

Jamie: [imitates Kevin] No! That is insulting, Andrew! I always read it! Fifteen times a minute!

Andrew: [laughs] And Micah is also out. He’s socializing in New York City. All right, let’s move on to this week’s voice mails?

[Audio]: Hey guys. This is Adam from Tennessee. I just wanted to say that I love the show, and do you guys really think that Harry’s going to want to become an Auror after he defeats Voldemort? I mean, he would have gone through this seven-year battle with him. I mean, wouldn’t he just want to have some kind or fun or something? Just wanted to know what you guys thought. Anyway, bye.

Ben: I just finished rereading Half-Blood Prince not too long ago, and in the opening chapters Harry’s thinking about what he wants to do for a career, and he’s very excited because Professor McGonagall lets him in to Potions because there is a new Potions Master, Professor Slughorn, and he started thinking about his future, and he said that there’s nothing else that he’d really want to do, so…

Andrew: Besides Potions?

Ben: No, besides becoming and Auror.

Andrew: Oh, okay.

Ben: So, if he could defeat Voldemort, then all these other people would be just child’s play, wouldn’t they?

Laura: I don’t know.

Andrew: Yeah. You would think so.

Ben: So, it’s not like… I doubt he wants to… You know the rich and the famous, they still want to be productive. It’s not like just because he defeats Voldemort, he’s not going to sit around and lounge all the time, just because he beat Voldemort.

Laura: I think he’ll have had enough after he defeats Voldemort.

Jamie: I think he’ll want to go…

Laura: I think he will.

Jamie: You know…

Eric: No, he – I don’t think he’ll have had enough.

Laura: Yes.

Jamie: What’s he got a no-defeating-dark-wizards fetish?

Andrew: Why, Laura?

Laura: No, it’s not that! It’s because he’s already spent his whole life this far, not only risking his life…

Jamie: I agree with you. No, I agree.

Laura: …but the lives of everyone who loves him.

Eric: But that’s what he does.

Laura: He’ll want to get… Yeah, but he doesn’t want that. We saw that from the sixth book. He had to dump his girlfriend because he’s afraid for her safety.

Eric: True.

Laura: He’s going to want to be able to settle down with people.

Ben: Yeah, but he didn’t really dump her.

Laura: That doesn’t matter! That doesn’t matter! He still did it because he feels like he had to protect her, and he’s going to want to settle down and live a quiet life with the people he loves. That’s what he’s going to want.

Jamie: I agree. He said in – I think it was Order of the Phoenix or Half-blood Prince. No, it was after he got his O.W.L results. He said that surely the best choice, and the best chance of him defeating Voldemort is to become one of the dark wizard catchers that are trained to find and kill him. So, I think yeah, he’ll do it for that because he wants to have the best chance, but it’s just like afterward he isn’t needed to defeat normal dark wizards, if that makes any sense. The Aurors can do that. He wants to… His task is to finish Voldemort. You don’t see Frodo, after he’s finished off with the one ring, going and getting a load of other rings and doing it.

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: It’s just his task and he’s finished it. So, I think that’s going to be the end after that.

Eric: I understand…

Ben Is Live In Alma, Nebraska

Ben: Guys, I hate to interrupt, but I really have to go.

Laura: Alright.

Andrew: Okay.

Ben: I’m needed back at the house. My grandparents’ house. So…

Andrew: All right.

Ben: I really enjoyed my time with you guys. I’m excited to leave because I get to go to air conditioning.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Awww.

Ben: And I don’t have to worry about getting caught anymore.

Laura: Darn.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: But I have had the best luck on the street tonight. This is [sings] Where the streets have no name!

Andrew: Can you plug the street? Do you know what street your on? Can we thank those people?

Jamie: Can I just repeat what Ben’s just said?

[Eric laughs]

Jamie: Ben’s had the best luck on the street tonight.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: I have! No one has turned down this street. So, thanks people…

Jamie: Was she good?

Andrew: What street is it, Ben?

Ben: Here, I’ll start my car right now.

[Car engine starting noises]

Laura: We get to listen to Ben’s car.

Eric: That sounds like a Chevy.

Andrew: Oh boy.

Jamie: [sings] Take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Ben: No. It’s a Pontiac. I’m in motion right now. [Car driving noises]

Eric: Schoen…

Andrew: He’s going to lose his connection.

Ben: No. It’s getting stronger, actually.

Eric: You’re driving towards the house. Ben, go towards the house.

Andrew: Oh boy. [laughs] All this…

Eric: Go in to the house.

Laura: Let’s see how long Ben can drive around before…

Andrew: It sounds like a nice car.

Laura: …he loses his connection.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: He just downloaded Pontiac sounds off of Google, and he’s playing them now.

Eric: Yeah, I’m in a car right now.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Yes, Jamie.

Jamie: He’s really in a 15-year-old passion wagon.

Andrew: Sounds like a nice car.

Ben: I am on First Street. Thanks to the people of First Street in Alma, Nebraska for providing me with internet tonight so I can record MuggleCast.

Andrew: Oh wonderful. Wonderful.

Ben: So, everyone send your thanks…

Laura: I’m sure they’re going to enjoy the fact that you told everyone where they lived.

[Eric laughs]

Ben: Yeah. So, if you ever need free wi-fi, come down to Nebraska.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: And so we’re going to have one last drive away with me. We’re going to drive away until my internet dies. So, this is the last you’ll hear of me, people.

Andrew: Okay.

Ben: I’m driving with a laptop on my lap. My seat’s halfway laying down, and the light in this house next to me just turned on. They’re probably wondering who…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Ben, do you have any comment about the difficulty of being yourself?

Ben: It is rough being Ben Schoen. Getting chased around…

[Jaime laughs]

Andrew: Ben, is this a dirt road your on?

Ben: No, no. And I’m passing Kennedy Street…

Andrew: Oh!

Ben: …and I’m losing my signal. So, goodnight guys! Thanks for having me on the show.

Eric: He’s going.

Jamie: He’s losing it.

Eric: Bye Ben!

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: Bye Ben.

Andrew: Ah, and there he goes.

Jamie: If you grab the defibrillator we might just be able to save him just in time.

[Andrew laughs]

Andrew: Like the dork that I am, I’ve could follow him on Google Map. So that was very nice, and once again we thank the people of First street in beautiful Alma Nebraska. It is a very nice neighborhood.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] We hope to podcast from there again some time in the near future.

Voicemail – Thank You MuggleCast!

Andrew: Anyway, let’s move on to the next voice mail.

[Audio]: Hey MuggleCast. This is Michelle from Connecticut. I met you at the first charity reading in New York city. I’m the one who asked what Hermione would see if she looked in to the Mirror or Erised, and I just wanted to say how nice it was to meet you guys. Going to the charity reading was my birthday present this year, and meeting you guys made it even cooler than it already was. So, I just wanted to say that I really love the show, and oh yeah! Thank you so much, Andrew, for just reminding me how many people there were there. That really helped my nerves, and made it great. [laughs] But, yeah! Love the show! Keep up the good work! Bye!

Andrew: There’s a story to this voice mail, and it’s the reason we’re playing it. Jamie, you might remember the girl who came up to us.

Jamie: Ohhh! It was her birthday and…

Andrew It was that girl.

Jamie: And she said that I’ve actually been picked to ask a question.

Andrew: Yeah, and she was very scared, and I said to her, “Oh well don’t worry, there are only…”

Jamie: There’s only 6,000 people there, yeah.

Andrew: And that scared her, and now I feel bad, so I’d just like to apologize.

Jamie: But it was a very good question, so it came across very well anyway. Even though there were 6,000 people there.

Andrew: Yeah. And we had a discussion about it on the live podcast and all that. So…

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: It was a good question. I actually liked it a lot – I actually liked it a lot because of JKR’s wording. JKR said two things. She said that they’d… She, not only would she see her – the whole trio with Voldemort defeated, but she’d also see herself tightly eloped around a certain somebody. But that was two things, that was two answers.

Jamie: She did.

Eric: So, that was actually really good. It was a good question.

Jamie: I think, I believe, Eric, she said, “tightly entwined.”

Eric: Oh, entwined. Sorry, what did I say?

Laura: Mhm.

Jamie: I don’t know… In…

Eric: Inter…

Laura: “Eloped.” He said “eloped!” [laughs]

[Everyone laugh]

Eric: Eloped!

Jamie: Did he really say that? Did he really say that?

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Why? Why is that funny?

Laura: Yeah!

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Because “eloped” means run off with, and secretly marry. So, I’m not too sure that was the correct choice.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Whatever.

Andrew: Good vocabulary.

Jamie: Oh, my god. The running jokes from that from now on are going to be huge!

Eric: No, Ben, forgive me. It was – it’s 12:30…1:00 a.m. here. I…

Andrew: Ben?

Eric: I – I just can’t think.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: I just…

Voicemail – Unity In Hogwarts

Andrew: Next voicemail comes from someone who wants to know about the unity in Hogwarts.

[Audio]: Hey, MuggleCast guys and Laura. This is Bailey and Tyler from Connecticut. Love the show. We were just wondering what you thought of this idea: assuming that Hogwarts does reopen, whether Harry goes back or not, will the four houses stay separate or will they be abolished and the school will become one? House position has always been a source of animosity between students since the founding days, so this could be the first steps to a more unified wizarding world. As Dumbledore, may he rest in peace, had always been such a strong supporter of unity, do you think this is a possibility? On a completely unrelated note, Ben, you and I should really get married. I mean, how cute does Ben and Bailey Schoen sound? Anyway, thanks and congratulations everyone on a year of MuggleCast!

Andrew: It’s a shame he’s not here to hear…

Jamie: It is.

Andrew: …hear that!

Jamie: Can I…

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: I think creating one house instead of Gryffravenhufflerin…

[Andrew, Eric, and Laura laugh.]

Eric: Gryffravenhufflerin. That’s amazing.

Jamie: Will – will not work because it’s forcing people who are normally tolerant of each other to work together and I think they are better kept apart, but still kept together with Hogwarts. You know, because they’re – they’re primarily a part of Hogwarts, I’d say, rather than a part of their house. So, I don’t think it’s going to happen, but…

Eric: I agree.

Laura: Yeah, I think that no matter what you do there’s always going to be animosity between certain groups of students…

Jamie: Yeah, exactly.

Laura: That’s just how it’s going to be.

Eric: If it wasn’t houses, you know? If it wasn’t officially in houses, it would just be cliques within Gryffindor or cliques within Slytherin, you know? Yeah.

Andrew: I think there still has to be the houses, but it seems like there might be a lot less competition this year or in the seventh year.

Jamie: Yeah, that’s probably right.

Laura: Mmhmm.

Andrew: I mean, I don’t know. Turning into one, like Jamie said, it’s not going to be Gryffravenhufflein.

Jamie: Rin.

Andrew: Rin.

Jamie: Rin.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh.]

Andrew: That’s beautiful, though. No one’s actually – that’s our new shirt slogan. WB can’t get us for that one! [laughs]

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah, yeah.

Andrew: All right…

[Laura laughs.]

Eric: Slythravenhuffledor. I don’t know.

Voicemail – Dumbledore Protected Snape Against DADA Job

Andrew: Next voicemail contains a very interesting theory. At least, I thought it was interesting.

[Audio]: Hi, guys. This is Amanda and I’m 21 and I go to Penn State University. In the Half-Blood Prince, at the end of the chapter “Lord Voldemort’s Request,” Dumbledore and Harry had just finished viewing Dumbledore’s memory of when Voldemort returned to Hogwarts to request a teaching position. Harry asks if he was after the Dark – the Defense Against the Dark Arts job again and Dumbledore replies that he definitely wanted the Defense Against the Dark Arts job and that the aftermath of the meeting proved that. “You see, we have never been able to keep a DADA teacher for longer than a year since I refused the post to Lord Voldemort.” I’m wondering, in addition to Dumbledore’s supposedly withholding this job from Snape because he was afraid Snape would fall back on his old ways, could it also be a possibility that Dumbledore was protecting Snape from the curse that was placed on the DADA job? This makes Snape’s sudden change in position even more intriguing, because Dumbledore must have known that putting Snape in the DADA job would mean he would no longer be at Hogwarts at the end of the school year. This lends further credence to the idea that Dumbledore knew that he was going to die and that there was some sort of understanding between Snape and Dumbledore. Just wondered what you guys thought. I listen to MuggleCast, PotterCast, and the Leaky Mugs obsessively, but I have been unable to make any live shows. Ever consider doing a college tour? Thanks! Bye!

Andrew: Isn’t that a good idea, though? No, seriously…

Laura: Yeah! We do have, though. We do have a staffer at Penn State. So…

Andrew: Oh, yeah.

Laura: So, shout out to Penn State! Whoo!

Andrew: Wait, who? Who was it?

Jamie: What was the idea?

Laura: Rachel.

Jamie: What was the idea?

Andrew: Rachel’s at Penn State?

Laura: Yeah!

Andrew: Rachel. MuggleNet?

Eric: Got to…

Laura: Yeah!

Eric: …come do a college tour. MuggleNet Rachel.

Laura: Yeah, MuggleNet Rachel. She goes to Penn State.

Andrew: I never knew that.

Eric: Which is like, a few hours west of here. So…

Andrew: I never knew that. I thought she lives in California, though, right?

Laura: Yeah, but she goes to Penn State.

Andrew: Oh, wow.

Eric: Whoa, that’s a little awkward.

Andrew: Hmmm. [laughs]

Eric: “I live in Pennsylvania and I got to California for college.” USC, baby!

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Eric: All right. [laughs] Laura, was it you who said Dumbledore used people in, I think, it was the last episode? You said Dumbledore really… Someone…

Laura: Ummm, no, I believe that was Jess that said that Dumbledore manipulates people, not me.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: I didn’t say manipulates, but uses them for, like, when they’re ready. I think this theory… I think… It was kind of like Dumbledore…

Laura: No, I completely agree with her…

Eric: Dumbledore withholding things…

Laura: I completely agree with her theory, but…

Eric: Yeah.

Laura: I never said that he uses people…

Eric: No, no, that’s okay. That wasn’t you. Someone was saying it once.

[ Laura laugh.]

Eric: I heard Dumbledore waits for the time – until the time is right.

Laura: Mhm.

Eric: He withheld Snape from that position and I strongly agree with this theory – until the time suited him. Until the time was right where Snape would only need to remain at Hogwarts another year. A time such as this. One could argue Dumbledore was waiting to give Snape the position for the time when Snape would eventually need to leave and, you know, set off the final chain of events as either forcing their plan, or not forcing it at all, to defeat Voldemort. I think it’s a great plan.

Laura: Mhm.

Eric: I also want to mention something, but I won’t right now. I want to hear everybody else’s theories on this particular one. But, she reminded me of something.

Laura: I really don’t have any theory on it because I agree with her 100 percent.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: I thought that ever since I closed Book Six.

Eric: Yeah.

Laura: That’s what I thought went on.

Eric: It had to have been.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Me too. I like because it works. [laughs] I can’t debate it.

Jamie: It sounds good to me, too.

Andrew: Yeah, good theory. Good theory.

Sidetracked To The Sorting Hat

Eric: So, there was, you know that – that potential theory about the Sorting Hat being a Horcrux, because people somehow think that Dumbledore didn’t know that the Sorting Hat was a relic of Godric Gryffindor, and so when Dumbledore points to the sword, he says, “The only known relic is not a Horcrux and I’m sure,” but people think Dumbledore was either not thinking about it or not considering or not able to find the Sorting Hat. There’s speculation that when Voldemort comes into Dumbledore’s office and Dumbledore, you know, says, “No” and says, “You don’t want to be a teacher.” Voldemort almost reaches for his wand, according to Harry. Harry sees him kind of twitch his wand. Some people speculate that’s the moment where he made the Sorting Hat a Horcrux. Personally, I think it’s way too easy to make something a Horcrux, but the whole point of that is people think that the Sorting Hat might be a Horcrux and that would have been the perfect means to create one in that room. But, I think – I was watching Chamber of Secrets, the movie, the other day and I think I deduced that the Sorting Hat can’t be a Horcrux because the Sorting Hat was the one thing that saved Harry in Book Two, by presenting him with Gryffindor’s sword.

Jamie: But…

Eric: You know? If there was.. If there was… But, if there was any kind of Voldemort in the Hat, wouldn’t it have prevented the Hat itself from giving, you know, from giving the sword to Harry. I mean, if you think it’s a relic of Godric Gryffindor, and the sword is the one thing besides Fawkes that really…

Laura: Mhm.

Eric: You know? And where was the sword before that? Again, with our Room of Requirement thing, do things have to appear from nowhere? But, the sword was a known relic. The sword just was somewhere else at the time and Harry got it. So, I think if the Sorting Hat were a Horcrux, it wouldn’t have given Harry the sword.

Andrew: Well, it’s important to bring up here that JK Rowling put on her official site that the Sorting Hat is not a Horcrux. So… [laughs]

Eric: Yeah, okay. End of story

Andrew: [laughs] I guess that’s a good reason.

Laura: Not to mention Dumbledore, [laughs] he would have to know that it was a relic of Gryffindor’s because the Sorting Hat put it in one of its songs.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah.

Laura: He said something about how Gryffindor would deem off his head and put a spell on him. So, I think that was pretty obvious.

Jamie: I love how you saved that point, Andrew, until right after Eric had finished.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Well, I… I tried to get it in but he just keeps talking. There’s no break. [laughs]

Before I forget, if anyone has any topic discussions or topic ideas or ideas from the Forum that you guys think we can discuss, you know how long we usually talk about these things and into what depth. So, let us know if you have an idea for something you want us to talk about. Just email us at mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com. We’re always open to ideas because, after all, it is you guys who are listening. So, we want to talk about something you’re going to be interested in. We have a hunch that you want it to be about Harry Potter but, besides that, we don’t know anything else.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie’s British Joke of the Day

Andrew: Now it’s time for a segment that we haven’t heard of for quite a while. Early July, I’d say. And that would be Jamie’s British Joke of the Day.

Jamie: Oooh! Okay, I have one. However, it could slightly cause offense. So, I’m going to replace…

Andrew: Uh oh.

Jamie: No, I’m going to replace what – I’m going to make it so it couldn’t possibly cause offense. Okay?

Andrew: Okay.

Jamie: So, there are three women, okay? One with a certain hair color [laughs], one with another certain hair color…

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Jamie: …and the third one with the hair color, which is…

Eric: Often connotated…

Jamie: …often connotated with feelings of stupidity and… Yeah. So, okay?

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: So, these three women with different hair color are all on trial for murder. They’re all convicted. And they’re all to be executed by firing squad. And the first one – of not the hair color that we were insinuating before, Eric – is brought in front of the firing squad. And they say, “Ready, aim,” and she goes, “Earthquake!” And everyone turns around and she escapes. It’s brilliant!

Andrew: Uh huh. [laughs]

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: So, the second one comes out, who also doesn’t have the hair color of the one we were talking about earlier, and sits down and they go, “Ready, aim,” and she says, “Tsunami!” And everyone turns around and, brilliantly, she climbs up the wall and escapes. Then the third one, who does have the hair color that we were insinuating brings about connotations of stupidity, sits down, and the firing squad lines up, brings their guns up to her and go, “Ready, aim,” and she shouts out, “Fire!”

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Ummm, all right, I get it.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Good joke, Jamie.

Jamie: It was ruined slightly by the need to put in excesses of [inaudible] and stuff.

Andrew: Yeah, okay.

New Segment: Dylan Spartz’s Inspirational Quote Of The Week

Jamie: Also, can I introduce a brand new section to MuggleCast, please?

Andrew: Yeah. Can I do one first, though? Can I do one first? I have a new one. This came to me while we were sitting here recording. It’s a new segment and I’m going to call it, “Dylan Spartz’s Inspirational Quote of the Week.” “Dylan Spartz’s Inspirational Quote of the Week.”

Laura: Oh geez.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: I’m sitting here on Skype and, as most of you know, there’s a little message people can put next to your Skype name. But, before that, as most of you know, Dylan Spartz is the brother of Emerson Spartz. And a lot of you girls out there like him for his boyish charm and his cute…

[Eric laughs]

Jamie: His uh, his uh…

Andrew: …sense of humor. And his…

Eric: And his Chevy.

Andrew: [laughs] Fill-in-the-blank Jamie?

Jamie: And his uh, and his uh, and his uh…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] I know where you’re going with this, so I’ll just move on.

Jamie: And his. We’ll just stop there.

Andrew: So, he has something in his Skype name – I don’t even know what Skype calls it – but I found it very inspirational and would like to read it for everyone now. This is Dylan Spartz’s Inspirational Quote of the Week. “Style doesn’t matter when you’re on your back.” “Style doesn’t matter when you’re on your back.” This has been the Dylan Spartz’s Inspirational Quote of the Week.

Laura: Hmmm.

Andrew: Tune in next week when I tell him we did this on the show and he gives me another one.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Isn’t that nice? Isn’t that great? [laughs]

Laura: Now I’m looking at everyone’s Skype things. Andrew is “Awayigo.”

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Andrew’s trying to be down with the lingo, aren’t you, Andrew?

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: I haven’t looked at that in years and I’m changing it right now. “Rocksors my socksors.”

Jamie: No, change it to [singing] “Take me down to the paradise city.”

Andrew: It’s just, you know, Dylan Spartz – let me talk to you guys for a minute about Dylan Spartz. Dylan Spartz is a man of brilliance, he is a man of creativity, he is a man of humor…

Eric: [laughs] So, he is a man.

Jamie: He is. He is a man. And I know that everyone out…

Laura: Absolutely.

Jamie: Absolutely, Andrew. And everyone out there really would love to entwine with him – elope.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Elope. I don’t know, some fan girls would like to elope with him.

Jamie: They would.

Eric: And going back to Hermione and Ron, they might have to elope and run away from all the Harry and Hermione ‘shippers.

Jamie: That’s very true.

Andrew: So, we’re in a fun mood today, so we have yet another fun segment for everyone. Jamie?

New Segment: Dumbledore Facts

Jamie: Oh, yes! Okay, this is going to be a regular segment. It is called, it is appropriately titled, “Dumbledore Facts.” Okay? Now, I don’t really know how to introduce this, but I’m sure everyone out there has heard of Chuck Norris facts. Yes?

Andrew: Yes. Yes.

Jamie: Right.

Laura: Mhm. Yes.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Now, these Chuck Norris facts are stated to emphasize Chuck’s awesomeness, amazingness, virility, power, all these kinds of things. And people worship him just as we worship Dumbledore, so I thought, why can’t we have some facts about Dumbledore, as well? So, I’m going to shoot off this week with, that Dumbledore can lead a horse through water and make him drink.

Andrew: [laughs] Ahhh … I’m the only one who got that.

Eric: Oh wait, so it’s actually…

Laura: Really!

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: But you see, someone kind of mean…

Andrew: It’s going to be hard to set this up because most people don’t understand these Chuck Norris jokes.

Jamie: No, just say that. Put that in and we’ll see it goes. And one more since it’s the first one and everyone likes it. There is no chin underneath Dumbledore’s beard. There is just another fist.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Eric: Oh god, not these. No, no, no, no, no.

Jamie: Come on, it’s funny!

Andrew: Ah, yes, these.

Chicken Soup for the MuggleCast Soul

We haven’t done this segment for in a while. We have a Chicken Soup for the MuggleCast Soul. So, the first one comes from [laughs] Can’tSay? Can’tSay? Oh, she can’t say her name.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Oh. I thought her name was Can’tSay.

Andrew: [laughs]I know! She’s strategically made it one word to fool us.

Jamie: That’s awesome!

Andrew: So, this is from Can’tSay. [laughs] Wouldn’t it be funny if that’s actually her name? [laughs]

Laura: Oh no!

Jamie: Can’tSay Johnson from Canada. What were your parents thinking?

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Twelve years old she writes, “Hi, MuggleCasters…” Well, okay, I got to set this up because I had it in my head. We are about to enter another school season and this is a school related Chicken Soup for the MuggleCast Soul. I’d love to start a school type segment for MuggleCast, but can’t think of anything.

Andrew: This comes from Can’tSay, 12, of Canada.

“Hi, MuggleCasters, I really love the show. I would like to thank you for helping me in school. I began listening to MuggleCast in April while I had the flu, and when I saw my sister downloading an episode in French class we were discussing technology. My teacher asked the class to do reports on different ways to use the computer, etc. So, I did my report on podcasts because I’m obsessed with the show and Harry Potter. My idea was original, and I got 100 percent.”


Laura: Yay!


“So, my parents were really proud of me. Thank you so much! Please continue the show! I love MuggleCast!”

Someone needs to compile a list…

Jamie: That’s nice, that’s nice.

Andrew: …of… Yeah!

Eric: Of all the things we do for people?

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: Since we’re getting back into the school spirit, here, if you have something that relates to MuggleCast that involved your school, like a report or something because I know there’s been a few. We’ve gotten emails before. Send a copy of it – maybe a scan, because we’d like to see 100 at the top…

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: …with a big smile, even if it’s in the As or Bs. Even if you failed it. That would be pretty funny.

[Eric and Laura laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] So…

Eric: Just so long as it has one of our names in it.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Right. Right.

Jamie: And, Andrew, our second Chicken Soup for the MuggleCast Soul comes from Don’t Know, and then after that it’s Not Sure.

[Everyone laughs]

The Colbert Report

Andrew: Ah, well. Anyone got anything else to bring up? Anyone, anything? I wanted to talk about news, actually.

Jamie: But Micah does that.

Andrew: No… You… He reads it, he doesn’t talk about it.

Laura: Oh, if that means we get to talk about that episode of The Colbert Report, then I’m totally cool with that. I love the show.

Andrew: Oh, that was really funny. Did you like that, Laura?

Laura: Yeah, I watch The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. That was pretty funny.

Andrew: It was…

Laura: It’s pretty funny stuff.

Andrew: We posted it on MuggleNet the other day, and Stephen Colbert tipped his hat to Jo, [laughs] for threatening to kill off Harry Potter.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: It was really funny. Good stuff.

Laura: Did you guys ever see that one episode, where he was interviewing Al Franken, and there was one point where they both – they were in a very heated discussion, and somehow they both ended up with their index fingers touching each other. And Stephen Colbert goes, “Our wands have the same type of Phoenix feather.”

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: And I thought that was hilarious. I burst out laughing, and my dad’s looking at me, like, “What, are you insane?” And Al Franken just looked totally confused. Colbert was just like, [imitates Colbert] “Oh, your kids are too old.” So, I thought that was a cute little tidbit, and, so pretty clearly he’s a fan. So, I thought that was awesome. [laughs]

Andrew: I’m glad he got his own show, because he was so good on The Daily Show.

Laura: [laughs] He is hilarious.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: But, we can’t get too far…

Andrew: No.

Laura: …into some of the other things that he talks about. Unfortunately.

Phoenix Photos

Andrew: Yeah. In other Potter news, we’ve seen a lot of filming pictures, lately. Anyone surprised by this? Does anyone really care? It’s interesting, though, because…

Laura: [laughs] I haven’t even looked at them.

Eric: Yeah, I…

Andrew: Oh, good.

Laura: I’m feeling like such a bad fan.

Eric: Don’t we see…

Andrew: Good podcasters.

Eric: They’re from like, a good few 100 yards away, and they’re like half-built.

Andrew: But these are good, because unlike with other movies, we’re actually seeing the actors.

Eric: Are we?

Andrew: Yeah, Harry and… Well, Dan Radcliffe and Harry Melling, were seen – what was it? On July 24, I think it was. Outside of…

Laura: Oh, yeah. Running in some field…

Andrew: …some field. Yeah…

Eric: I didn’t recognize them. They were just like two people at the corner left of the screen. I was like… [makes uncertain noise]

Laura: What happened to them being in a neighborhood?

Andrew: Yeah.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Well, there’s no neighborhoods in England, apparently. And I’m sure Jamie could attest to that.

Laura: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: But they’re filming the scenes where Dudley is attacked by Dementors.

Laura: Hey Jamie, tell us about how television sets came before the neighborhood, in England.

Andrew: Because we’re looking at the set photos and they’re shooting Dan Radcliffe and Harry [has trouble pronouncing “Melling”] Melling running through some open fields. But they run through neighborhoods in the movie, so.. And I said, well as Jamie could attest to, there’s no neighborhoods in England, either.

Jamie: A what, sorry? A nabhor – neigh – what was it called? Neighborhood?

Andrew: No, neighborhoods.

Jamie: What’s that?

Andrew: Neighborhoods.

Jamie: What’s that?

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: No, I…

Andrew: How do you call it?

Jamie: Oh my god!

Andrew: [laughs] Oh.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: Oh, Jamie.

Jamie: That was the worst bit of teamwork I’ve ever heard in my life.

Andrew: [laughs] I’m sorry. I should have picked up on that.

Jamie: It’s okay.

Andrew: I did at the live podcast. Um, also, we saw some photos… They’re filming – what is it? “Snape’s Worst Memory” scenes, too. And, once again, we saw Dan Radcliffe and whoever is playing a young Snape – the young Snape. Once again, I see from the feedback that nobody really cares. [laughs]

Laura: [laughs] Pretty much.

Jamie: Alan Rickman’s son.

Laura: No one cares until [laughs] the movie comes out.

How Many More MuggleCasts?

Andrew: It’s true. Hey, you know, I was doing the math the other day, and by doing the math, I meant going through…

Laura: You were doing math?

Andrew: …going through my Google calendar and adding every single MuggleCast that’s scheduled…

Jamie: Nice.

Andrew: …to be released, up through the Half Blood Prince release date.

Jamie: That’s pretty depressing.

Andrew: And, yeah, it only took me about 20 minutes [laughs]. We will be up to Episode 170 when…

Jamie: My god!

Andrew:Half Blood Prince is released.

Laura: Oh my god!

Andrew: On November 21, 2008.

Eric: No! No, no!

Laura: Yeah, but don’t you think the seventh book…

Jamie: No. No.

Laura: …will have come out by then?

Jamie: [with food in his mouth] No. Oh, yeah, it will, yeah.

Eric: Oh, god. I can’t fathom 170.

Laura: [laughs] So, we won’t be up to quite that many. Unless, I mean, maybe we shouldn’t put this thing, because it will make people sad, but are we really going to keep going weekly after the seventh book comes out?

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Let’s do it! Let’s do it! Let’s do it, let’s do it, let’s do it.

Andrew: All right…

Jamie: There’ll still be loose ends.

Andrew: Yeah, why not?

Jamie: There’ll still be loose ends.

Laura: We’ll have nothing [laughs]

Eric: We’ll all be grown with kids.

Laura: We’ll have nothing to talk about!

Eric: You know…

Andrew: Yeah. Who’s to say, you know? We can make the show like a half hour long, just do it that way. No, no, we’ll…

Laura: We’re all going to be getting ready to – we’ll be getting ready to go into our sophomore year of college.

Andrew: Laura, you’re very negative, and I don’t appreciate this type of attitude.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Yeah, Laura…

Andrew: …as a podcaster.

Eric: I can totally see you, just like, “We’re about to record…”

Laura: Hey, you know what? I’m done. I…

Andrew: Whoa!

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: My contract is only through Book Seven, I’m sorry.

[Andrew laughs in shock]

Eric: Your contract?

Andrew: I’d better check mine. I don’t know what Spartz put down on that.

Lucky Charms

[Everyone lapses into silence, and Jamie eating can be heard]

Andrew: Jamie, what are you eating? We all want to know.

Jamie: I’m eating cereal. In fact, Andrew, do you know what cereal I’m eating?

Laura: Oh my god. Emerson would love you.

Jamie: I’m eating Lucky Charms.

Andrew: Are you eating Lucky Charms?

Jamie: Okay, everyone, you see, this is true.

Andrew: Really?

Laura: [laughs] Ciaran would be so proud.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Just before…

[Eric laughs]

Jamie: Just before I left Casa del Sims in America, Andrew’s Dad, very kindly, put a thing of Lucky Charms into my suitcase, which I didn’t find until I got home. And when I got back, I was very, very excited, and I’ve been eating them ever since. In fact, I think they really are Lucky Charms, because I’ve had about 400 bowls, and I don’t think it’s going down.

Andrew: [laughs] I was going to say, you’ve had that box for a while. Was it a filled box, or was it half-empty, or…?

Jamie: [chokes] Sorry…

Andrew: Half-full, if you think positive.

Jamie: It was about…

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: it was about three-quarters full. But I’m sure it’s going up. It’s full now.

Show Close

Andrew [Show Close with music in background]: [laughs] Oh, okay. Well, on that note, once again, I’m Andrew Sims.

Eric: I’m Eric Scull.

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

Jamie: And I’m Jamie Lawrence, eating Lucky Charms.

Andrew: We’ll see everyone next week for Episode 52. Goodnight, everyone.

Laura: Oh my god, 52.

Eric: Thank you guys, for having me on.

Andrew: We’re too old.

Blooper #1

Jamie: Okay, let’s do some – okay. Okay, let me think. Okay. I’m going to have to think how I’m going to phrase this. Okay, you’re going to have to put this straight after…

Ben: Car coming.

Jamie: …what Ben was saying.

Ben: Car coming down the road.

Jamie: Let me think.

Ben: Turn.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Okay, Ben…

Ben: Turn!

Jamie: Ben, he’s not going [swears] to arrest you.

Andrew: Don’t curse!

Jamie: He’s not a [swears] policeman.

Andrew: [laughs] Please don’t curse!

Jamie: Sorry.

Andrew: We can’t use this in the show. Okay…

Ben: [in relief] They turned.

Andrew: All right.

Ben: We’re good.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: They turned.

Jamie: Talking of…

Ben: This is ridiculous!

Jamie: Ben, it’s not ridiculous. They’re not going to [swears] arrest you for sitting in your car on a computer.

Blooper #2

Micah: There are a few new set pics, including one of Dan Radcliffe, over on MuggleNet. There are a few new Order of the set Phoener… Phoener… [trails off, trying to pronounce Phoenix] Wow! There are a few new [begins coughing]. There are a few new Order – oh my god! There are a few new Order of the set… [sighs] This is just not working out, man. Andrew, why must you demand the news of me when I have to get up at 5:00 a.m. tomorrow morning?


Written by: Micah, Allison, Ally, Amanda, Eloise, Jessica, Margaret, Martina, Rhiannon and Roni