Episode 62: Allegedly Loony

  • The crew discusses the latest update to Jo’s site.
  • A third title?! What could this mean?
  • Apology for the Gilmore Girls comment.
  • We figure out a new way to stay safe against criticism.
  • Listener rebuttals on Peeves.
  • Main Discussion: Luna Lovegood.
  • Is she related to Ollivander? Lupin?
  • Is she as “Loony” as everyone makes her out to be?
  • Her relationship with Harry and the comfort she provides him.
  • Considering that she does not seem to fear death, will Luna be a pivotal character in Book 7?
  • Why is she such a social outcast?
  • Is the Veil a Lethifold?
  • The Missing Day…explained?
  • Is Jo telling us something with the birthday announcements on her site?
  • Voicemails return.

Download Now
Running time: 1:04:35, 29.9 MB

Transcript 061

MuggleCast 61 Transcript

New Show Intro

Andrew: Domain names from GoDaddy.com are up to 70% less than the competition. Plus, each domain includes free hosting with a website builder, a free blog, complete email, and much more. Plus, as a MuggleCast listener, enter code “MUGGLE” when you check out, and save an additional 10% on any order. Some restrictions apply. See site for details. Get your piece of the Internet today, at GoDaddy.com.

Andrew [Show Intro with new music in background]: Because we all got some candy in our bellies, this is MuggleCast Episode 61 for October 31st, 2006 – Halloween edition.

[New music continues]

Andrew: [in a spooky voice] Oooooooh! Welcome to MuggleCast Halloweeeen edition! Ooooooooh! Hey, guys, what’s with this new music?

Ben: It’s sweet.

Jamie: Ooooooh! I like it. I like it very much.

Laura: I like it a lot. I think it’s great stuff.

Andrew: I like it, too.

Jamie: Laura, I like it more than you.

Andrew: I have to try the bass line.

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: Yeah. Hey, Andrew.

Andrew: Yeah?

Jamie: Did you use your half an amp – half a watt amplifier…

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: …to record that? [laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] Yes, yes. I used my small little amp to produce this bass.

Jamie: For all people listening: Andrew, in his room, has an amp that
it literally the size of a sort of cell phone. It’s absolutely tiny.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Well, it’s a bit bigger.

Andrew: A cell phone? All right, I think you’re exaggerating. [laughs]

Jamie: I’m exaggerating very, very slightly. Very slightly.

Ben: What did I say about it? I said something.

Andrew: I don’t know.

Jamie: You said that it was a one-watt amp, which is a bit of a high estimate I think, Ben, really.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] Guys, come on. It’s like ten. Give me a break. I’m going to buy a new one.

Jamie: Yeah, exactly.

Andrew: Sorry, it came with the guitar. It’s a practice amp.

Laura: That’s pretty hardcore stuff, Andrew.

Andrew: Anyway, we have a special Halloween show for everyone today,
including some hot gossip on Laura Mallory that’s going to get everyone!

Jamie: Yeah. This is steaming hot gossip.

Andrew: Yeah. Ooo! Ooo! Everyone’s going to be like, “Tehe! Gossip! I love gossip!” We also hope you’re enjoying our new Intro music. [pause while music plays in background] I’ll take that as a, “no.”

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

[Jamie hums the theme music]

[Music continues playing]

Andrew: I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I’m Ben Schoen.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

Micah: And I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

Andrew: And now over to Micah Tannenbaum for the past week’s top Harry Potter news stories.


[Audio excerpt from Sorcerer’s Stone]: Troll in the dungeon!

Micah: Oh, really? Good thing I’m not working down there today. But the rest of the transcribers are. Well, good luck!

Goblet of Fire has received two nominations: Best Feature Film and Bafta
Kids’ Vote, in this year’s children’s Bafta Awards. The awards ceremony will take place on November 26th in London.

HBO has opened a contest where you could win tickets to the Order of the
Phoenix US premiere next July, including 500 dollars in spending money and
transport plus accommodation. This contest is only open to US residents. To enter, head over to MuggleNet.com.

And while you’re over there be sure to check out MuggleShop.com for all your HP merchandise needs. With thousands of products to choose from, if you can’t find a Harry Potter product there, either it doesn’t exist, it’s a dumb product idea, or we’re just not allowed to sell it. I’m glad I get paid by the advertisement.

Speaking of, we’re proud to announce that the first-ever book written by MuggleNet
staff is now available for pre-order for only $11.85 through partner
Alivan’s. The book is titled, What will happen in Harry Potter 7? Who lives? Who dies? Who falls in love? And how will the adventure finally end?

Our fully-customizable Order of the Phoenix countdown is now available.
You can change the countdown to your country’s release date. More countries
and dates will be added as they become available.

Speaking of the fifth movie, Empire magazine’s latest edition included a
three-page spread, where director David Yates spoke about the length of the
film. He said: “The book’s huge, but it actually distills quite easily. That said, I’ve shot a movie that’s probably over three hours, so I’ll have to lose 45 minutes in the edit.” Blasphemy! Yates also discusses Imelda Staunton and Evanna Lynch.

Finally, “We Love The Royle Family Sun,” a special program about the The
Royle Family sitcom, aired this past week on BBC 1, and Jo Rowling made a
guest appearance. We have a video available for you online.

That’s all the news for this October 31, 2006, Halloween edition of
MuggleCast – be sure to check out the Halloween layout on MuggleNet.com – back to the show!

Andrew: All right, thank you, Micah.

Micah: You’re welcome.

News Discussion: Movie Length

Andrew: We’re going to try something new this week. We are going to talk
about the news a little bit because it’s a good way to keep the show a
little fresh week to week, and this way we can have a chance to gossip about [switches to girly voice] the latest Harry Potter stories, guys!

Jamie: Yeah! Yeah!

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: So, one of the big stories this week was a new interview with
David Yates, where he said that there was going to be a good 45 minutes of
film that they shot that is going to have to be cut!

Laura: What?!

Jamie: He was talking specifically about his length, which I always like
it when men talk about length, because, really, you know, you can’t really
talk about a film, review a film if it’s too long or too short. I think you better keep them into certain categories. There’s more that can be packed into a four or five hour film, so it’s impossible to compare it with a one hour film, because it’s completely different. The plot’s different. You can have a beginning, a middle, and an end and then more in a four hour film, whereas you can’t really in a one hour film.

Andrew: Right, right. That could be said about a lot of things.

Jamie: Yeah, definitely.

Andrew: But, I mean, with this – with the movie – why is WB so concerned about keeping it at about a two-and-a-half hour range? Because that really seems…

Ben: It encourages more people to go out and watch it.

Jamie: Yeah, and it’s continuity, as well.

Ben: Parents don’t want to take their kids to a film that’s going to be
over three hours long.

Jamie: Yeah, exactly.

Laura: Yeah. Kids get squirmy.

Ben: Because it’s going to be like, “Oh, geez. There’s no way he’s going to
sit through this,” and, “Oh, geez. I don’t want to put up with him this long.” So… [laughs]

Andrew: I guess, but then look at Titanic. And how long was

Laura: Yeah, but Titanic wasn’t geared – they weren’t trying to
gear that towards children.

Andrew: No, but adults sat through the whole thing.

Laura: Adults, not kids. [laughs]

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: Well, don’t you think kids would sit through the Harry Potter
film? I thought the concern was the parents would not want to sit through

Laura: No, I think that…

Andrew: Granted, they probably wouldn’t.

Laura: Well, I mean think about it. A five-year-old? I mean…

Jamie: Yeah, exactly.

Andrew: Yeah, that’s… That’s…

Laura: Sitting through a three-and-a-half, four hour movie.

Jamie: And also it’s like when it goes into a four or five hour movie,
it turns into a new thing.

Laura: Mhm.

Jamie: Like the third Lord of the Rings is known for
being a long film. Or, there’s one film, I can’t remember what it is, it’s like, six hours, and then people – it becomes known for being so long instead of as a film.

Ben: Gone With the Wind.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Laura: Mhm.

Jamie: For an example, Gone With the Wind is
like, three hours, 50 minutes or something. And then – that isn’t a film; it’s a marathon film.

Laura: Not to mention, the longer the movie is, the more people are
going to expect for it to contain, you know, from the books.

Jamie: Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah.

Laura: Little facts that would’ve normally be left out. And we know that
directors, especially – I can’t believe I forgot his name – the Goblet of
director. [laughs]

Andrew: David Yates?

Ben: Oh, Mike Newell.

Andrew: Mike Newell.

Laura: Mike Newell.

Jamie: Oh, Laura, you call yourself a fan?

Laura: It totally slipped my mind, but for instance, you know, he said
that the big theme in this one was the boarding school kind of element to

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Laura: So, he took those pieces, and Alfonso Cuaron said that the big theme in Prisoner of Azkaban was Harry…

Jamie: Was shrunken heads.

Micah: Was the Whomping Willow?

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: [laughs] No! Harry transforming from a child into a teenager. So, they’re just picking out the main story element that they want the movie to focus around.

Jamie: Do you know, I think it’s funny when people like, speak like, “And I do think this movie is incredibly important for the character development and how the plot progresses.” When I watch a film, I just watch it. I don’t think about these things.

Andrew: Right, right. You want entertainment. [laughs]

Jamie: I’ve never… Exactly. I’ve never ever thought about the development of the character as a whole, and their personal struggle against the forces of evil. I just watch it.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

Laura: Yeah, But the thing is…

Jamie: Maybe I’m just dumb, yeah?

Laura: …if the character – Jamie, though, if development is good, that makes the movie entertaining.

Jamie: So, back to what David Yates was saying about that he’s recorded a three hour film, so he’s going to have to cut 45 minutes of it, which, for the non-mathematically inclined among you, means that it should be two hour, fifteen minute film.

Ben: Now that’s stupid. Throw in that extra fifteen.

Andrew: Yeah, I think they would go for two-and-a-half. I mean and granted, maybe WB will finally pull the stick out of their butt and say, “Hey, let’s just go for three hours.”

Jamie: Yeah. Three hours would be okay.

Laura: I think they’re going to have to eventually. I mean…

Ben: No, why would they? Why would they?

Andrew: Especially with…

Ben: Order of the Phoenix is the longest book…

Andrew: With the final book?

Jamie: Yeah, but Book Seven, Ben, is going to be huge, and there’s going to be, like, an epilogue at the start…

Laura: Well, I mean, Ben’s right…

Andrew: It’s not going to be the biggest book; she already said that herself.

Laura: Just because it’s not the biggest book doesn’t mean the content wouldn’t take up a lot of screen time.

Andrew: You have to send it off properly.

Jamie: Yeah, exactly.

Andrew: You have to send it off properly. Just imagine the ending.

Ben: Well, no. They’re going to make as many cuts as possible to make it two-and-a-half hours. That’s what I think.

Jamie: Yeah, but if you’re going to sit through a two-and-a-half hour film, wouldn’t you sit through a three hour film? It isn’t like you’re going to…

Ben: Not necessarily. There’s a rating. With anything there’s a standard. For example, with the radio the amount of time is like, three minutes and thirty seconds. That’s like the average length for a radio song. Anything past that is considered too long.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: So, even if it’s just four minutes. So, if you have a movie that’s three hours, some people aren’t going to like sitting through that last 30 minutes.

Jamie: Well, I guess. Yeah.

Micah: But I think we all agreed, though, with, Goblet of Fire, it was very fast paced through that entire time.

Laura: Yeah.

Micah: It wasn’t like you felt like you were really sitting there.

Andrew: It was. Especially the opening. They rushed through all that. I mean the Quidditch World Cup mainly. That was the biggest thing, but there were a lot of cuts in that. They were kind of obvious, too.

Laura: Yeah.

Micah: Yeah, I agree with Jamie. I think, what’s the real difference? If you’re there for two-and-a-half hours, who cares if you’re there for 25 more minutes?

Laura: Well, that’s also coming from our point of view. We’re Harry Potter dorks. It’s sad to say, but I don’t think that they’re only thinking about appealing to the book fans; they’re thinking about general audiences, too.

Andrew: They can’t think about the book fans because of…

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: If you think about just the fans in general, what do they want? A longer movie.

Laura: Yeah, exactly.

Andrew: They’ll sit through, well…

Ben: Well, what’s it about? What’s it about, okay? Is it about pleasing the fans, or is it about boosting the bottom line?

Laura: Or making money?

Andrew: Yeah, yeah. Well, that’s true.

Jamie: It’s about both. It’s a combination of both.

Andrew: It is, but you know WB does not give priority to the fans.

Laura: No, no, of course not. [laughs]

Andrew: Like, you look at Lord of the Rings. There’s extended versions of the movie on the special two disk DVD and you get the whole thing. They really – Peter – or what was the director’s name?

Laura: Peter Jackson.

Ben: Peter Jackson.

Andrew: Peter Jackson. He really did care about the fans.

Jamie: Oh yeah.

Andrew: And that’s why a lot of people did love his work on the films, but then again, there’s a different director for each of these films, and it’s up, really, to WB how much goes in.

News Discussion: Extra Order Scenes on DVD?

Andrew: So, with that said, can we expect to see this all on the DVD? Because that would really be the way to pay the fans back.

Ben: I doubt it.

Laura: No, I don’t think so.

Andrew: Yeah. 45 minutes of content. That’s a lot for extra deleted scenes.

Ben: Well, how much – do we know how much extra footage there was for…

Andrew: Goblet of Fire?

Ben: Yeah, Goblet of Fire or Prisoner of Azkaban?

Andrew: What, 20 minutes worth, maybe?

Laura: I think the DVD that had the most extra footage was the Chamber of Secrets one; there were a lot of extra scenes included on the Chamber of Secrets DVD, but it doesn’t amount to 45 minutes, and none of the other DVDs did.

Jamie: None of them nearly.

Andrew: Yeah. I was pretty happy with the Goblet of Fire DVD. That had a lot of extra bonus features. A lot of behind the scenes stuff.

Ben: But seriously, though. I think I heard somewhere that any extra footage they film that was originally going to go in the movie – they cut out – actually does make it to the DVD.

Prisoner of Azkaban on ABC

Andrew: Hmmm. Okay. In other news, Prisoner of… – I wanted to bring up this story because I really want to know the answer to my question. Prisoner of Azkaban aired on ABC the other day, and you know how some people… Does anyone care? Does anyone watch it? Like, the fans? Because it seems like…

Laura: Well, why? You’ve got the DVD. [laughs]

Jamie: People have it on DVD.

Micah: I actually watched it last night.

Andrew: Really?

Micah: I did.

Andrew: Well, you’re a dork.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: People, some people, I just don’t see, like…

Ben: What about people who can’t afford the DVD?

[Ben and Micah laugh]

Andrew: What? It’s true.

Micah: Well, I tend to watch it more when it’s on HBO just because no commercials and things like that, but a lot of times ABC puts on deleted scenes, and I don’t have any of the DVDs with deleted scenes. So…

Andrew: Oh, okay.

Micah: I’ll watch for that more than anything else.

Andrew: It doesn’t seem like it’s worth posting on MuggleNet because all of the people on the site are hardcore fans, and chances are they watched it a few days prior to when it’s airing anyway.

Jamie: Yeah. Yeah.

Andrew: And, you know, and you look in the comments in the news post and people are like, “Ah, who cares?”

Jamie: Well, exactly. That’s the thing.

Andrew: I don’t know. We should look up the ratings and see what…

Micah: Yeah, that’s a good idea. Last night was a big deal because it was sponsored by Eragon.

Andrew: Oh, was there Eragon stuff? I’m sure Shurtugal.com is going all out.

Laura: I have a question, and I don’t want to make any of our friends over at Shurtugal angry, but who thinks that the Eragon poster is kind of a big rip-off of the Goblet of Fire one? [laughs]

Andrew: What is it?

Laura: Well, haven’t you seen it?

Andrew: I might have. I forget. Is it just a big “E”?

Laura: No. No, no, no. It’s all of them standing around, and it looks…

Andrew: Oh, yeah.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ve seen that.

Laura: It looks exactly like the Goblet of Fire poster.

Andrew: Well, of course. They want all the Harry Potter dorks to come out and see it. It’s “the next great adventure film!” That’s not what they’re calling it, but I’m sure that’s what they’re trying to market it to be.

News Discussion: MuggleNet Book

Andrew: Other than that it was a pretty slow news week, but there was one news item that got posted on MuggleNet and nowhere else, Ben.

Ben: Oh! Which one?

Jamie: Yeah, it’s a book. Have you heard of it? We wrote it a few months ago.

Ben: Oh, yeah. [laughs] That one.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Go out and buy it. MuggleNet.com’s What will happen in Harry Potter 7: Who lives? Who dies? Who falls in love? And how the adventure finally ends. The book is written by myself, Jamie, Emerson, Gretchen, and Andy, so go check it out. I mean, you can preorder it from Alivan’s. The book won’t actually be on shelves in your local Barnes and Noble and/or Borders store until late November or early December, so you can pick up a copy now.

Andrew: Is there some sort of money back guarantee I can get if you guys are way off on your predictions?

Ben: Uhhh…

Jamie: We will, uhhh…

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: Yeah. Just yeah.

Andrew: Yeah? Okay. [laughs]

Ben: But also, something else…

Laura: You might need it. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah. [laughs]

Order Countdown, Visit MuggleShop, Check out Halloween Layout

Ben: Check out MuggleNet now. Speaking of “Order of the Phoenix,” we added Order of the Phoenix countdown.

Andrew: Wooo!

Jamie: Wee.

Ben: So, go ahead and download that.

Andrew: I’m pumped.

Jamie: And MuggleShop.

Ben: We also have a Halloween layout. And, with the holiday season approaching, you can use MuggleNet.com’s new Harry Potter store called MuggleShop. It has every Harry Potter item. For each purchase you make, we earn a commission. It goes towards supporting the podcast, the site, everything, so go purchase your Harry Potter related Christmas items there.

MuggleCast T-Shirt Update

Andrew: Speaking of purchasing, if you do want to help support MuggleCast, you can also purchase a MuggleCast t-shirt. We’ve also learned, guys, that we will only be able to sell the MuggleCast t-shirts until January 1st.

Ben: So now is the time to buy.

Andrew: If you’re thinking about it, yeah, now is the time to buy. And we’re not kidding. We have to be finished selling them.

Ben: Sales will be discontinued!

Jamie: Yeah, we aren’t kidding.

Andrew: Also, don’t forget to vote for us on Podcast Alley. We appreciate everyone’s vote over there to keep everyone in the podcast community reminded that we PWN! [Pronounces it ‘pawn’] at life.

Tangent: PWN!

Ben: [Mocking Andrew] PWN? [pronounces it ‘pawn’]

Andrew: And at podcasting. Yes, we PWN. [Pronounces it ‘pawn’] P-w-n?

Laura: That’s not how you say it.

Andrew: Do you not speak Leet?

Ben: It’s PWN, [Pronounces it ‘pone’]

Laura: It’s PWN. [Pronounces it ‘pone’]

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: No, we here in New Jersey say “PWN.” [Pronounces it ‘pawn’]

Ben: It’s PQN. [Pronounces it ‘pone’]

Jamie: No, no, no, you mean just you, Andrew?

Laura: A pawn is a chess piece, Andrew.

Andrew: No crap!

Jamie: We ‘queen and castle’ at everything.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: No, seriously, you just made another flub, now you’re embarrassed again.

Andrew: No, no, I’m serious. We… No, everyone says “PWN.” [Pronounces it ‘pawn’]

Ben: No they don’t, you’re lying.

Andrew. PWN. [pronounces it ‘pone’] Dork. Whatever.

Ben: I’ve been there. Nobody pronounces it ‘pawn.’

Prophecy 2007

Andrew: Moving on. As we announced last week, we will probably be at Prophecy. We can’t officially announce anything yet. They’ve asked us to not start going at it just yet. But we’ve been getting a lot of emails about it asking if we’re going to be there, and it looks like we will go. Maybe not a live podcast, but we will be there.

Jamie: Aren’t we doing a podcast?

Andrew: Probably. I’m not sure yet. But we can’t guarantee anything yet.

Listener Rebuttal – MuggleCast T-Shirt Update

Andrew: We have a rebuttal for everyone now, and then we’ll get into some fun Halloween discussion on ghosts this week, created by Micah. This rebuttal comes from Miranda of Idaho.

“I wholeheartedly agree with Laura that the Department of Mysteries will play a big role in Book Seven. As a matter of fact [laughs] I think the Department of Mysteries and the Love Room will play a huge role as the setting of the final battle between Harry and Voldemort, with Harry utilizing the power within the room to overcome Voldemort. Even though Harry wasn’t able to open the door in Order of the Phoenix, he has to be one of the few people than could actually enter the Love Room, full of what Dumbledore described as the ‘most beautiful and terrifying power’ because of his mother’s love and his ability to love. It makes sense for the one thing that saved Harry in the first place, love, to once again save him, and it being the first thing that brought Voldemort’s downfall also be his final demise. Truly, the only thing that Voldemort doesn’t understand, obviously, is the ancient magic of love, and since Lily’s unprecedented love for Harry was only enough to save her child and rip Voldemort from his body, it will take even stronger love, such as that in the room, in order to actually kill him. Love the show, and Ben, you’re my favorite.”

Ben: Awww.

Andrew: Clearly this girl is nuts.

[Ben, Micah, and Laura laugh]

Andrew: [laughs]Shut up. Good point brought up by Miranda of Idaho. Very nice.

Laura: Thank you, Miranda.

Micah: I don’t know if I agree with the final battle taking place there, though.

Laura: Well, I don’t if that’ll happen, but…

Andrew: I do think that’s a bit of a stretch.

Laura: But, nut, I think that Harry’s going to be there, for some reason.

Andrew: Mhm.

Micah: You think he’s going to study there, don’t you? That’s your big thing, Laura.

Laura: Yes! I don’t think he’s going to go and like, open up a notebook [laughs] and start taking notes, but…

Micah: But he’s going to go there at some point.

Laura: He’s going to go there, yeah. Of course, he has to.

Where Will Final Battle Take Place?

Andrew: Where do you guys think the final battle will take place?

Ben: Hogwarts.

Laura: Not at Hogwarts! Not at Hogwarts. Oh my god.

Andrew: I think it should.

Laura: No!

Ben: Why not, Laura? Why not?

Laura: Every bad fan fiction I’ve ever read in my whole life, they have the final battle take place at Hogwarts, and then…

Micah: No, no, nit

Laura: First years are out fighting Death Eaters. It’s ridiculous. No.

Micah: I think it should be at Godric’s Hollow.

Andrew: Yeah, oh, that would be good. Yeah.

Azkaban in Order of the Phoenix

Andrew: You guys want a cool Azkaban fact?

Laura: Sure.

Andrew: In the movie Order of Phoenix, it’s on a waterfall cliff. Did we say that at the live podcast?

Ben: No.

Micah: No.

Laura: It is, is it?

Andrew: It’s on a waterfall cliff in the shape of a “V.” No, an “A,” but it looks like a “V.” It’s really cool.

MuggleCasters’ Past Halloween Experiences

Andrew: So, since it is our Halloween show, we’re going have a little talk about Halloween in the past. Right, Jamie?

Jamie: Yeah, we are. We’re going to talk about what we did for Halloween as children or what we do now if we still like trick-or-treating and enjoy it. Let’s do it. Andrew, what did you do?

Andrew: Does anyone still trick-or-treat right now?

Laura: No.

Andrew: Okay.

Micah: I do.

Ben: Micah does.

Andrew: [laughs] Micah. I was just wondering.

Laura: My mom won’t let me.

Andrew: [Laughs and imitates Laura] I can’t be out past eight.

Ben: Out of curiosity, when did you guys stop trick-or-treating? For me it was sixth – fifth grade.

Andrew: Oh, geez. I stopped two or three – no. When was it? Eighth grade, I think I stopped.

Laura: I don’t…

Andrew: I don’t know, I just woke up one morning and was like, “I’m not going trick-or-treating this year. It’s lame.”

[Ben laughs]

Laura: I don’t – I think it was probably eighth grade.

Jamie: How do you guys remember?

Laura: [laughs] It’s kind of sad.

Andrew: Well, we know Micah’s answer.

[Micah laughs]

Andrew: Jamie, do you still trick-or-treat? Do they even have Halloween over there?

Jamie: No yes they do, but I have a confession to make. I haven’t ever trick-or-treated, ever, in my life. Nor have I dressed up for Halloween.

Andrew: What?

Jamie: I just I’ve just never ever seen the attraction, to be honest, of going out.

Andrew: Even when you were in third grade, you were like, “This isn’t cool?”

Jamie: Oh, yeah, yeah. I was only interested in, sort of, nuclear physics and maths back then. I didn’t…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: No, seriously. You never dressed up?

Jamie: No, yeah, I just didn’t see the attraction of it. I just thought, you know, in the freezing cold going out and asking for candy, and most people are mean and they don’t give you good candy, they just give you something.

Andrew: How do you know if you’ve never done it? [laughs]

Jamie: Well, yeah, because I have a very pessimistic view of the world, Andrew. Everybody’s mean.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Everyone only cares about themselves. That stuff.

Laura: Do you guys know that they don’t really have Halloween in Australia?

Ben: Hmm.

Andrew: Really?

Laura: Yeah.

Ben: That’s interesting to know.

Jamie: So, yeah. Yeah, just never done it. Maybe I should. Maybe I’ll find it the most thrilling thing in the world, ever. Perhaps.

Micah’s Goofiest Costume

Andrew: I mean, I know I used to. What was the goofiest Halloween costume anyone has dressed up as? How about you, Micah?

Micah: Goofiest was probably in college, dressing up as a Royal Tenenbaums.

Andrew: Oooh, do you have a picture of that?

Micah: I do, actually.

Jamie: Yeah!

Andrew: Any chance we could use it as our album art for this week’s show?

Jamie: For this week?

Micah: Sure.

Jamie: So you can appear on millions of iPods around the world.

Micah: You want to see me dressed up as Gene Hackman.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Oh, yeah, that’s my biggest fantasy. I dream that every night.

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: A white-haired old man.

Andrew’s Goofiest Costume – M&M or Eminem?

Andrew: I would have to say, I was an M&M one year, and that was kind of weird.

Ben: Okay, you were Eminem or an M&M?

[Micah laughs]

Andrew: An M&M, I said.

Jamie: Oh, I thought you said…

Ben: Oh, I thought you said you were Eminem one year.

Andrew: No! [laughs] I said an M&M.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: That’s why I asked you if you carried a chainsaw around with you.

Andrew: No!

Jamie: Because he carries a chainsaw. I didn’t realize – oh my god, that must have sounded so weird.

Ben: I thought you were a rapper.

Andrew: No, I wasn’t the rapper! Why would I be Eminem the rapper?

[Laura Laughs}

Ben: Because [laughs] that’s an actual Halloween costume!

Jamie: Andrew…

Andrew: It is? I’ve never seen someone dress up as Eminem. [laughs]

Jamie: What did you think I meant when I…

Andrew: Eminem isn’t a costume.

Ben: How old were you when you were an M&M?

Andrew: Third grade. [laughs]

Ben: Oh, I was going to say. If you were any older than that, that would be funny.

Jamie: How old is third grade?

Micah: You realize the avatars now, right? Are going to be Andrew’s head on an M&M.

Laura: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: Whatever. If someone does that I’ll just put the picture up of me dressed up as an M&M. I don’t care.

Jamie: How old is third grade?

Andrew: Seven or eight.

Jamie: Andrew, what do you think I meant when I said, “Did you bring a chainsaw with you?”

[Laura and Micah laugh]

Andrew: I thought you were joking because it would be a candy M&M and a chainsaw, so it would be kind of funny.

Jamie: Oh my god!

Laura: Yeah, I honestly didn’t get it either yesterday. I was like, what is he talking about?

Jamie: I thought you meant Eminem.

Andrew: Eminem does not carry around a chainsaw!

Jamie: Eminem does though. Eminem.

Andrew: No, he doesn’t!

Jamie: Yes, he does. There’s a picture of him with like, a mask on holding a chainsaw.

Andrew: A picture.

Jamie: Yeah. That means he has done it. Hence, he has done it before. Therefore…

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: All right. I guess so.

Jamie’s Negative View of Halloween

Micah: Jamie, do you still plan to steal candy?

Jamie: Yes, I’m not going to be nice to anyone. I think my pessimistic view of the world is true, that everyone’s mean. I’m not going to completely disappoint myself. I’m going to be mean as well.

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: I’m going to steal everything. I’m going to dropkick pumpkins. I’m going to – I’m going to take off costumes and throw them in the garbage can.

Main Discussion: Ghosts at Hogwarts

Andrew: So, continuing with our cute little Halloween theme here, we’re going to ghosts at Hogwarts because there are quite a few of them and we’ve never really talked about them much at all. We’ve talked about Peeves once or twice, we’ve probably had a little discussion about Nearly Headless Nick and Moaning Myrtle, but never really had a full discussion on all the ghosts. Isn’t that right, Micah?

House Ghosts

Micah: That is right, Andrew. Ghosts at Hogwarts. You know, each House has a ghost, so what characteristics do you guys think that a House ghost has that links them to a particular House?

Laura: I think it was…

Micah: Based on what we’ve seen.

Laura: …the house they were in when they went to school.

Andrew: Is that always the house that they were…

Jamie: I think it probably is.

Andrew: …that they represent?

Laura: Well, why would… Okay, if Nearly Headless Nick were a Ravenclaw, why would he be the Gryffindor ghost?

Andrew: What I, I… Yeah.

Laura: That makes no sense.

Jamie: That is very true. [laughs] So, yeah.

Laura: I think The Bloody Baron was a Hufflepuff, in that case.

Jamie: Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Andrew: No, so Nearly Headless Nick was a…

Ben: Obviously.

Andrew: …brave young lad.

Micah: Yep.

Andrew: That’s – that could explain why he is nearly headless, folks.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: And the Fat Friar was…

Andrew: Maybe Harry’s going the same way.

Becoming a House Ghost

Micah: How do they become House ghosts? Is there a selection process?

Jamie: Yeah, you apply.

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: Fill in a form and send it off, and then…

Ben: No, see, I hate these…

Laura: No, I don’t think so.

Ben: …questions that you can’t even answer.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: I mean, there’s like [laughs] it’s all just conjecture, there’s nothing to back it up.

Jamie: The entire show’s conjecture. Jo’s going to answer it in Book Seven, so we should…

Andrew: How do you know?

Jamie: Because she said she will.

Ben: Did she?

Andrew: Oh.

Jamie: Yeah, she did. She said, “There will be more information on why people become ghosts, and why they choose that path.” Because as Nearly Headless Nick says in Book Five…

Ben: But not why they become House ghosts.

Jamie: No, but ghosts in general.

Ben: That’s different.

Jamie: Ghosts in general.

Ben: Oh.

Andrew: Maybe they become house ghosts because they do some sort of service to the school…

Jamie: Yes, that could be it.

Andrew: …that the headmaster wanted to recognize.

Laura: Maybe because they chose to stay at the school. [laughs]

Andrew: Well, right, but if…

Laura: So, if they’re going to stay at the school, then…

Andrew: No, but if I want to turn into a ghost… If I want to be a ghost and I want to stay at the school, that automatically makes me a House ghost? We’re talking about the House ghosts here, just the one. [clears throat]

Laura: Okay, well if they have to do some kind of special service, I doubt The Bloody Baron is exactly considered a…

Ben: No.

Andrew: You don’t, you don’t know that.

Laura: …genuinely nice guy. [laughs]

Ben: Tom Riddle. Tom Riddle did a special service to the school.

Jamie: Yeah, but it’s not everyone who does a special service. It’s just..> Do you think… See, I was planning on saying, “Do you think, when the House ghost dies, he gets replaced by another one?” But can they retire or not?

[Ben, Micah and Laura laugh]

Jamie: Can they say, “Well, screw this. I don’t want to do this anymore,” and then go, or are they tied down…

Laura: No, they…

Jamie: …by a contract?

Laura: I don’t think they can.

Andrew: Well, what else, what else, Laura, do you think could possibly…

Laura: Could possibly what?

Andrew: You know, what lets them become a House ghost? There’s only one per House. That was…

Laura: Well…

Andrew: …the point.

Laura: I just…

Andrew: And then they – they’re probably there forever.

Laura: Yeah, but…

Andrew: I would think.

Laura: …I don’t think they’re specified as “the House ghost.” I think that’s just how they’re known to the students. There’s probably more than one ghost per House.

Jamie: I doubt… There are loads of ghosts…

Laura: It’s just the ones we see.

Jamie: Yeah, but, but that’s – actually, that’s a point, Andrew, you know.

Dumbledore’s Control Over Ghosts

Laura: It’s not like – it’s not like Dumbledore runs around saying, “They’re your ghost prefects,” or whatever, they’re just ghosts that happen to live in the houses.

Andrew: I guess so.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah. It’s like, there have got to be more than five, six ghosts in the entire school that just float.

Andrew: But even so, wanting to stay at Hogwarts, that has to be…

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: …a decision that’s up to the headmaster. I mean, I would think you would really had to have been a great student…

Micah: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: …at the school, in order, you know, for Dumbledore or whoever to say, “You can stay in my school.”

Laura: Is it up to Dumbledore, though? Do you really think he has that much control over…

Andrew: Well…

Laura: …the school?

Andrew: …the current, current headmaster?

Laura: Peeves is in the school, and it doesn’t seem like it’s too easy to get rid of him.

Jamie: No, no.

Ben: Well, that’s because Dumbledore wants him around.

Jamie: Exactly. There’s a reason.

Laura: No, I think…

Ben: No, no, no. Dumbledore won’t oust him. They’ve said that before.

Jamie: Of course, that’s true, yeah.

Laura: I know, but I mean, I don’t think that Dumbledore can say – tell a ghost to get out of his school.

Jamie: Of course he can! He’s so powerful, it’s ridiculous.

Ben: Yes, he could.

Laura: Well, he…

Andrew: He could.

Laura: He can say it, but he can’t make it happen.

Jamie: Of course he can! He can… Laura, he can do anything. He can do absolutely anything.

Laura: I’m not saying I know it for sure. I’m saying, yeah, he can do absolutely everything except stop himself from getting killed.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Ben: Ohhh!

Jamie: But he wanted to die, so it’s fine.

Nearly Headless Nick

Micah: Looking at some of the House ghosts, specifically, Nearly Headless Nick, Gryffindor, he died on Halloween, October 31, 1492, and this is something interesting I found out and I didn’t know this, but his day that he died is actually the basis for the entire timeline in the Harry Potter series. Did you guys know that?

Ben: What do you mean?

Jamie: He means that 19 – 1492 is, is when he died, okay? And in – and he celebrates his 500th death, death day in Chamber of Secrets at Halloween, which means that Chamber of Secrets takes place in 1992. Which also means that Philosopher’s Stone

Andrew: Oooh.

Jamie: …took place in 1991, and Harry’s parents were attacked by Voldemort in 1981, and that forms the basis for the entire timeline of the films. Sorry, of the books.

Ben: Hey, I’m not a big fan of…

Andrew: I see.

Ben: …doing that.

Andrew: The timeline thing?

Ben: Yeah, if it makes any sense.

Andrew: Yeah. Some people put a lot of speculation on, like, the timelines. Like there’s a lot of – there’s that one theory about the missing day in between when Harry’s parents were killed and when Dumbledore took Harry to the Dursley’s.

Laura: Well, timeline, timeline or not, I – that day was missing. I mean, if you think about it, the Potters were killed Halloween night, and Harry didn’t show up at the Dursley’s until the next night.

Andrew: I mean, that could just be that he had him at Hogwarts for a day to figure out what the heck they were going to do with Harry.

Laura: But, but Dumbledore didn’t take Harry, Hagrid did.

Andrew: I don’t think they have to make a big deal out of it. All right, so Hagrid took him back to the school, and then Dumbledore, you know, tried to figure out what to do. I mean, that’s a big decision; where you’re going to leave that kid, and…

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: …didn’t Dumbledore say that he was trying to get in contact with relatives, and that’s the only one he could find?

Laura: I don’t think so. I think that they knew that those were his only living relatives, but…

Andrew: Yeah, well, I mean…

Laura: And it’s not like he exactly warned them before he left Harry on their doorstep. [laughs]

Andrew: Right, yeah. I mean, so that’s a big decision. I think people need to stop going crazy over that. [in a mock worried voice] “Oh, what’s happening in the one day? It’s all wrong.” It just doesn’t…

Laura: I don’t think it’s wrong.

Andrew: There’s plenty of explanation.

Laura: I think that if there’s an extra day in there for a reason, it’s not anything she did wrong. [laughs]

Andrew: Well…

Laura: It’s something else that…

Andrew: Well, that’s what I mean. I mean, people are like, “Explain it.” But there’s no explanation.

Laura: Yeah. I don’t think it’s a screw up, essentially.

Andrew: I don’t think so either.

Nick and Harry Discuss Sirius

Micah: Well, Halloween does seem to play a big role in the series in all the different books, for the most part. Do we want to talk a little bit about some of the other events that have occurred?

Jamie: Why don’t we…why don’t we just…

Andrew: Sure.

Laura: Sure.

Jamie: …finish talking about Nearly Headless Nick.

Andrew: Nearly Headless… Yeah.

Jamie: …and talking about when Harry went to speak to him at the end of Order of the Phoenix. What do we think of that, if we can remember? He went to ask him if Sirius could come back, and, well, one of the things that happened was he asked him if Sirius could come back and he said, “He will not choose that path,” and Harry said, “Why? Of course he will. He wants to see me again. Of course he will,” and then he said, “No, he won’t,” which makes me think that perhaps there’s a huge price to pay when you choose to become a ghost. If it means you can come back, there’s got to be something else you can’t do. You know? Like, love or something like that, maybe, and that’s why Sirius…

Ben: Eat. [laughs]

Jamie: …won’t come back. [laughs] Yeah, eat, that’s the big thing.

[Andrew, Ben, and Micah laugh]

Jamie: So, yeah.

Andrew: Maybe he just, maybe he just wouldn’t want to see Harry…

Jamie: Through the eyes of a ghost?

Andrew: Yeah, like, the relationship would never be the same, I don’t think.

Ben: Well, maybe…

Andrew: It’s not like…

Ben: Maybe it has something to do with like, once you become a ghost, you can never, like, you’re always going to exist, you know what I mean?

Laura: Well…

Ben: Like, that makes sense for that to be a sacrifice.

Laura: Well, that’s pretty much what Nick said. He said that it was just kind of a pale existence, that it was basically mimicking the existence they once had. They just sort of got to watch from the sidelines.

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: If you get what I’m saying?

Jamie: Yeah. No, yeah, I think that’s true.

Micah: Also, you limit – and let’s not react in a bad way to this – you limit the physical interaction there can be, and I don’t think that Sirius…

Laura: Well, yeah…

Ben: Can ghosts interact with other ghosts?

Jamie: Yeah, yeah. They…Peeves…

Laura: [laughs] They do all the time.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: No, I mean like physically.

Jamie: Yep.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: In their own physical sense.

Andrew: Like shake hands?

Ben: Yeah, or can they touch each other? Not in a bad way.

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: But like, you know what I’m talking about how like Nearly Headless Nick – this may be a movie thing – but his head falls off and then he reaches up and he pulls it back.

Laura: Well, of course he can…

Andrew: Well, he’s got to be able to…

Laura: …you can touch yourself.

Andrew: Well, I guess if you can touch yourself and you’re a ghost…

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: …then you can probably touch other ghosts.

The Bloody Baron

Micah: All right, the Bloody Baron. How do you guys think the Bloody Baron died?

Jamie: [laughs] He got hacked to pieces, considering all the blood on him.

Laura: Yeah. [laughs] That’s what I was going to say.

Jamie: Or he slipped over a blood factory and banged his head on the ground and died and then that’s why all the…

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: Well, whose or what’s blood do you guys think is on him? It’s described as being “silvery.” Do you think it belongs to unicorns?

Jamie: Yeah but he…unicorns…

Laura: I think it’s silvery just because he’s a ghost.

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: I mean, they’re white and transparent, I think the blood is just silvery because of the composition of a ghost’s body.

Micah: All right, Laura, so how can he keep Peeves under control?

Jamie: Because he’s scary as *bleep*.

Laura: Yeah, obviously there’s something about him that scares Peeves.

Micah: Just like Dumbledore.

Laura: Yeah.

Micah: Meaning Dumbledore can also keep… Well, then what do you think it is about him that scares him?

Andrew: Yeah, what can the Bloody Baron do to Peeves?

Jamie: No, he can, I mean, if it goes back to what we were talking about how ghosts can touch, then clearly, it could be something physical he can do to Peeves.

The Fat Friar

Micah: So, the Fat Friar. How do you guys think he died?

Jamie: He doesn’t seem particularly interesting, the Fat Friar, does he? He just…

Andrew: No.

Laura: No.

Jamie: He, yeah, but as it says here. Sorry, I mean, what I mean is, I have a point. He tries to get Peeves invited to the opening feast in Sorcerer’s Stone and so he seems to be extremely forgiving and he doesn’t care. He’s just happy-go-lucky. Why is he like that? Do you think it represents the house?

Laura: Well, he’s a Hufflepuff.

Jamie: Well, yeah.

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: What? So, [laughs] yeah.

Andrew: Yeah, it sounds like he represents the house.

Ben: Maybe he was too trusting in his life and that’s why he got killed.

Jamie: In his previous life. A bit like Dumbledore.

Andrew: Oh, yeah. Good speculation, Ben.

Micah: So you’re saying Dumbledore’s a Hufflepuff?

Andrew: No. [laughs]

The Grey Lady

Micah: All right, the final house ghost, the Grey Lady from Ravenclaw. We really don’t know a whole lot about her. We don’t really see her that much in the books, but Jamie maybe you know something about this, there are various Grey Lady ghost stories that exist in London. Is that true?

Jamie: Ummm, I have heard a few, yeah. Lady Jane Grey was the great-granddaughter of Henry VII and she reigned as Queen, but she was actually uncrowned and she only reigned for nine days, which, you know, is absolutely nothing. And then I think she was beheaded at the Tower of London. So, yeah, that’s why her ghost is reported to haunt it. But, she’s supposed to haunt other castles as well in different places – haunted places. So, I mean, is there anything there? Like, maybe the Grey Lady was only at Hogwarts for nine days and then she got killed?

Andrew: Yeah, I was going to say maybe… Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: A bit unlike…

Andrew: Maybe Dumbledore felt bad for her, so he was like, “Come be a house ghost.”

Jamie: Yeah, yeah, well, don’t worry you can become a House ghost.

Ben: How about Professor Binns? How did he…

Andrew: Can we stay on top of Grey Lady for a second?

Jamie: Yeah, Ben, yeah, Ben.

Andrew: Not literally on top of her, I mean…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: We’d just fall through and hit the ground.

Micah: So, it’s possible that Jo took the name from there?

Jamie: Oh, I’m sure she did. Yeah.

Laura: Yeah, there’s really no doubt behind that.

Andrew: That would probably the most reasonable explanation for…

Jamie: Yeah, but she’s a very mysterious ghost. I think we hear once that she was floating by or something like that but we didn’t hear anything about her. Perhaps we’ll find something new in Book Seven?

Micah: I think she’s in Half-Blood Prince, if I remember. They said some ghost went by as Harry was talking to Hagrid about overhearing the conversation between Snape and Dumbledore.

Andrew: Oh.

Micah: She seems to be around at kind of interesting times because they said in the movie for Chamber of Secrets and I don’t know if this was in the books too. It was a scene that was cut out where – it’s the first time that Harry goes to open Tom Riddle’s diary.

Andrew: Yeah?

Micah: And he tells the Grey Lady to get lost.

Jamie: No, he doesn’t, does he?

Andrew: Oh?

Jamie: Really?

Andrew: It’s a deleted scene.

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: Oh, sorry. It’s a deleted scene, I see. Sorry.

Micah: But, I don’t know.

Andrew: Why would they cut that? What was in replace of it? Just without the Grey Lady going behind him?

Micah: Yeah, I think so.

Andrew: Do you think Jo could have any involvement in that or they just realized maybe it served no purpose?

Jamie: Oh, she could have had, yeah. If it’s like…

Laura: She could have, but, I mean, I think it was…

Andrew: How do we know it’s the Grey Lady?

Laura: Yeah, I mean, I just think it was another cut they were…


Micah: So, going back to Peeves, why do you guys think he’s allowed to stay at Hogwarts? Why does Dumbledore let him?

Andrew: I think that’s just Dumbledore’s got a soft spot in his heart.

Laura: Yeah, I think Dumbledore is kind of amused by him, to be honest.

Ben: I think there’s some other reason. I don’t know what, but there’s some other reason.

Andrew: Why? Kicking him out would just be mean and that’s not like Dumbledore.

Micah: But, he’s also a poltergeist. He’s not an actual ghost.

Ben: What’s the difference?

Jamie: One’s mean.

Laura: Poltergeists were never alive.

Micah: Well, actually…

Jamie: Oh, is that true?

Laura: Yeah, poltergeists are pure energy, it’s what they are. I mean, poltergeists are actually considered to be real things. Not like the ones you see in the movies, but, especially like young teenagers, like 13 or 14-year old girls exhibit so much electrical energy that they can actually make stuff fall over when they’re really angry.

Jamie: Ahhh.

Laura: And that’s considered a poltergeist.

Ben: Let’s see…

Laura: So, it’s actually, it’s kind of a manifestation of a residence, I think.

Ben: Hold on. Hold on, noisy ghosts…

Micah: It says it’s a jerk. And a noisy ghost… Yeah.

Ben: Poltergeists are invisible masses of spirit or energy that may or may not be connected to a living human agent. Some of the most common poltergeist activities include loud, unexplained noise, levitation, the moving of objects, and electrical problems. It’s from Google.

Andrew: Okay, so there’s no stopping Peeves, so it’s not like Dumbledore can be mad at him for doing what he’s doing.

Jamie: No, I’m sure that Dumbledore could get him out if he wanted to, though. There’s no way he couldn’t find a way. Well, he couldn’t now, he’s dead.

Laura: I think Peeves probably came with Hogwarts, kind of like the way…

Jamie: Maybe it’s Slytherin.

Laura: …house elves come with houses.

Andrew: Hmmm.

Jamie: Could be.

Ben: I don’t know.

Jamie: No, I was just going to say, Laura can’t be right because Hogwarts predates Nearly Headless Nick, so the ghosts of the thing obviously came afterwards.

Laura: But poltergeists aren’t ghosts of people. [laughs] That’s the thing.

Jamie: Yeah, I know.

Ben: They can be though.

Jamie: But, Ben’s just…

Laura: No, no, no, no, no. The definition you read said that it can be connected to a person, meaning it can be caused by a person.

Jamie: But…

Laura: Not that it’s a person’s spirit.

Ben: Right. But it’s the same thing, it means “noisy ghost.”

Laura: No, it’s not.

Professor Binns

Micah: All right, wrapping up the ghost discussion – Professor Binns. He didn’t even notice that he was dead, he just got up from teaching one day and kept on teaching.

Jamie: He must have realized when he tried to sort of put a sausage roll in his mouth and it just fell down and hit the ground.

[Micah laughs]

Jamie: He must know he’s dead now. He’d have to be gormless, very gormless.

Micah: Maybe not.

Ben: So he just fell asleep by the fireplace? Isn’t that what happened?

Jamie: And died and then…

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: …got up, so he must have had unfinished business as well. But you know, is to impart knowledge of goblins into the minds of young, eager students.

Ben: What did he die from? Do you know?

Laura: Old age, I think. I don’t think it was terribly specific.

Jamie: No.

Andrew: He fell into it.

Jamie: Yeah [laughs]

Micah: And this question [laughs], it’s kind of far out there but he taught Tom Riddle. Do you think he can provide any useful information for Harry?

Laura: I think that was what Slughorn was for.

Micah: Yeah, I agree with that.

Jamie: Yeah, that’s true.

Micah: Well, what’s left?

Andrew: I mean, well, he could tell Harry about Tom Riddle. Is that…

Laura: I don’t think so though.

Andrew: …what the question was about?

Laura: Because, you see, he doesn’t pay that much attention to the students anyway.

Andrew: It doesn’t matter, I mean, well…

Laura: He keeps calling Harry “Mr. Perkins” or something…

Jamie: But Laura, he…

Laura: …he doesn’t even call him by his last name.

Jamie: Yeah, but he knows a lot about the Chamber of Secrets. So if he knows about that, he clearly know stuff about Hogwarts’ folklore legend and stuff, although of course, he said it didn’t exist which was incorrect; wrong.

Andrew: I mean. And plus, it was a really long time ago that he taught Tom, so he could possibly, I don’t know. You would know something about your students, like he’s got to know about Harry. After teaching him, he’s got to gather some information about him. Like maybe he knows a weakness or something.

Laura: I guess.

Andrew: I don’t know, you never know, there could be a whole back-story to it.

Laura: Maybe, I just think that the purpose that Slughorn served was to provide insight on Tom Riddle as a student at Hogwarts. I think that’s already been taken care of.

Jamie: Mhm, agreed.

Andrew: Yep, all right, that concludes our discussion on some ghosts at Hogwarts. Was it spooky?

[Laughs comically with Ben].

Listener Rebuttal – Ron and the Brains

Andrew: Before we get into our little Halloween debate, first, we have a rebuttal from Mark from Northern Ireland, age 29. He writes:

“With regards to the idea that Ron may have suffered lasting effects as a result of his attack by a brain. You should remember the quote by Dumbledore where Dumbledore does say:

‘Well, Harry’ said Dumbledore, finally turning away from the baby bird, ‘you will be pleased to hear that none of your fellow students are going to suffer lasting damage from the night’s events’.

Dumbledore made it clear to Harry that none of his friends, including Ron, will suffer no lasting damage, although J.K.R. briefly reminds us about lingering scars on Ron’s arm in Half-Blood Prince. In the chapter “Hermione’s Helping Hand,” there is a passage that reads:

‘You can still see the marks where that awful woman made you write with your own blood, but you stuck to your own story anyway.’

She says to Harry. And then Ron says:

‘You can still see where those brains got a hold on me in the Ministry of Magic, look,’ said Ron shaking back his sleeves.’

‘And it doesn’t hurt that you’ve grown about a foot over the summer either,’ Hermione finished.”

[laughs] Hermione, you’re so funny. So, what do you guys think? I mean, this is interesting because, on the one hand, Dumbledore is saying that there is no lasting damage, but what is he talking about? Physically or mentally?

Jamie: Exactly. I think that Dumbledore would think that, you know, physical damage is absolutely nothing. The complete opposite of what Voldemort would think, who would think that physical damage is terrible…

Micah: Right.

Laura: Mhm.

Jamie: You know. I think that Dumbledore would always consider there’s no lasting mental damage, but he might have a few scars, which is nothing to what Dumbledore would, you know.

Andrew: Right. That’s a good way to look at it.

Laura: I think that it can go either way honestly.

Debate: Halloween

Andrew: Yeah. Moving on to our debate now. Today’s debate topic is: Trick-or-Treating is a morally vapid delinquent activity that exploits the fear of human beings into giving material gifts. Jamie and I are affirming and Micah and Laura are denying, and Ben will make his decision at the end. Jamie, you got two minutes. Go!

Jamie: Okay, while Trick-or-Treating is extremely, you know, important to children and they think it’s quite a bit of fun, it really is very, very morally vapid. And, you know, it’s delinquent activity because people think that dressing up in costumes is fun, it’s scary, but they don’t realize the implications of what they’re doing. You just imagine, you’re 85-years old sitting at home and somebody knocks on your door.

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: You think, “It’s got to be a visitor,” because at that age, you’ve lived in a different generation, and you think that everyone, you know, is being nice. When you open the door, you don’t realize that it’s a joking child. You see a person with a knife and automatically, you think, you know, this could be very bad. It’s dangerous or bad things can happen. The only good thing that can come out of it is free candy, and things that are free aren’t really free. So…

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: …when a child takes that free bit of candy, he thinks it’s free, but really, it could cost a dear, dear old person their, you know…

Ben: Dignity.

Jamie: …enjoyment for that evening. Yeah, their dignity. It could’ve hurt them, you know, mentally to open the door and see somebody there. Also, getting things for free…

Ben: One minute, Andrew.

Jamie: Okay, go, Andrew.

Andrew: Not only that, you will be footing a bill for getting all those cavities taken out of your teeth.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Because you eat so much candy that night that you won’t have teeth. Not only that, I agree with Jamie; it is dangerous. My T.V. tech teacher told me a story once where his friend would put staples [laughs] into the candy and give it to kids

Jamie: Yeah. Loads of children have died.

Andrew: And these kids would eat it and then hurt themselves really bad because you’re chewing on staples. [laughs] No, wait, were they staples? Or were they nails? Oh, no, they were thumbtacks [laughs] inside the candy and it’s just terrible. It’s very dangerous. You never know what’s going into your candy.

Jamie: Yeah, also, also, things that are free aren’t automatically good. You shouldn’t get things free now-a-days. You should buy your candy. You should work hard, manual labor, buy your candy, that’s the way the world goes around. Go!

Ben: Okay, that concludes [laughs] the affirmative.

[Andrew giggles]

Laura and Micah…

Andrew: We won.

Ben: …tell me, tell me, why is Trick-or-Treating not morally vapid?

Laura: Well, I think first of all, if you want to say that it’s bad to get things for free, then you need to get rid of Christmas, not Halloween.

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: And like any other holiday, it’s just something for people to look forward to. It’s Jo’s favorite holiday; I don’t think she’d endorse something that was morally vapid. It’s a celebration passed down, which originally was honored the dead. Which, you know, isn’t a bad thing. And saying that Halloween causes delinquency is like saying…

[Andrew and Micah laughs]

Laura: …that Harry Potter creates Satanism. So, you’re wrong.

Ben: Mic-er?

Micah: I mean, Halloween brings about a sense of community too, you’re going around and you’re interacting with your neighbors…

Laura: Yeah.

Micah: You know? if you’re getting something free out of it, I don’t see how that’s wrong, and dressing up.

Laura: And see, I don’t know about you, Andrew, but my parents always checked my candy [laughs] to make sure no one put anything in it, maybe…

Micah: And honestly…

Laura: …maybe nobody did that for you.

Andrew: Is it open now?

Micah: That’s sort of…

Jamie: No, not yet.

Micah: …morally vapid on the sense on the person providing the candy, not the kids going out and Trick-or-Treating.

Laura: Exactly.

Jamie: Okay, okay, a community, you say, Laura you say that in… Sorry, Micah, you said that it encourages…

Micah: Yeah, because I sound like Laura.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: …a community. How does it encourage community? I’ve never, ever seen dressing up as scary figures encouraging, you know, friendship and stuff like that. Laura, you said…

Laura: Well, Jamie, you wouldn’t…

Jamie: You said… Laura, Laura, Laura…

Laura: …know. You’ve never gone Trick-or-Treating.

Jamie: …Laura, Laura, Trick-or-Treating…

Andrew: I second Jamie’s motion…

Jamie: …teaches people to interrupt…

Andrew: …as an experienced Trick-or-Treater.

Jamie: Yeah, there you go, see? And also, you said that the proper holiday was, you know, brought down from All Hallows Eve, celebrating the dead. I fail to see how going out, engaging in juvenile delinquent and immature activity…

Laura: Okay, people…

Jamie: …encourages a proper holiday.

Laura: Jamie, people are going to participate in delinquent activity whether there’s Halloween or not.

Jamie: No, it’s… They should be at home reading a book.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: They should be, I don’t know how it increases… It just teaches people that they can get things for free by scaring people.

Laura: So does Christmas and Easter and…

Jamie: Yes, it does.

Laura: …every other holiday.

Jamie: It’s all commercialized.

Andrew: It’s the season of giving.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: This is not the season of giving. We’re not there yet.

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: They should be…

Micah: Jamie, just because you got egged and toilet papered as a kid doesn’t mean that you have to hate Halloween.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Okay.

Andrew: I’ve got one word for you all. In the words of Steve Irwin [does Steve impression] “Danger!” It’s dangerous, it’s very dangerous.

Jamie: All the bad things that can happen do not outweigh – sorry, do outweigh all the good things that could happen.

Andrew: You could hurt yourself.

Jamie: It’s just, there are so many things that could go wrong with it. The parents are letting children – and it’s normally children, of course, who go trick or treating. They are letting them out of their sight. In today’s world, you don’t know who is out there.

Micah: They walk around with them! What are you talking about!

Laura: [laughs] Yeah.

Jamie: They could knock on somebody’s door, a very dangerous door, and open it and they could be – there could be people there who…

Laura: Okay, that is not the responsibility of the holiday, that’s the responsibility of the parent.

Jamie: You’re absolutely… Laura, You’re absolutely right.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: They can go trick or treating and get taken in by a [pronounces it “pee-do-file”] pedophile…

[Micah laughs]

Jamie: And bad things can happen. But it’s fine because All Hollow’s Eve is celebration of the dead. Is it right to encourage it and increase it by [laughs] this? It’s just, it’s just dangerous, it’s a dangerous activity. Everyone will still have fun without it. Children – there are other ways to have fun than going out, on your own or with parents because some people do it on their own, and knocking on doors and getting free candy. It’s…

Micah: It’s one day out of the year, though!

Jamie: There are economic reasons, educational reasons, social reasons.

Laura: What are the economic reasons, Jamie?

[Ben, Andrew, Laura and Jamie laugh]

Laura: What are the economic reasons?

Jamie: The people should be taught the value of money, Laura.

Micah: I’m sure Hershey and Nestle and all those companies don’t have any problem with the economic reasons.

Jamie: You cannot get things free by scaring people. That is not what you should be taught when you are young.

[Ben laughs]

Laura: You don’t scare people! People open up the door and gush about how cute the little kids are in front of them.

[Ben and Andrew laugh]

Jamie: Yeah, because people dressed as Grim Reapers with blood pouring down them. Oh, lovely! I think they’re cute.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: Okay, Andrew…

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Laura – Laura and Micah. You have one minute to tell me why you should win.

Laura: I think that… I mean, there’s no question. It’s a holiday that creates community. If you want to say get rid of Halloween, then you have to say get rid of Christmas, because there are tons of dangers that can come up with Christmas. I mean, come on, you’ve got a fat guy coming down your chimney. [laughs]

Micah: [laughs] If that’s not a pedophile, I don’t know what is.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: Anything else?

Jamie: That is a good argument so far.

[Laura laughs]

Micah: And it’s a holiday. You’re not getting rid of it, you’re not going to change it no matter what happens.

Laura: Yeah, and like I said, you can’t say that Halloween causes people to run out and be delinquents. People are delinquents everyday. [laughs]

Jamie: Okay, can we go now, Ben?

Laura: It’s just an excuse.

Ben: Five seconds.

Jamie: It’s been about five minutes.

Ben: Two, one. Okay, Andrew and Jamie, why, why?

Jamie: Okay. Laura, you have changed this completely saying that we should get rid of the holiday. We shouldn’t get rid of the holiday, the holiday is a celebration of the dead. People should use Halloween to remember love ones past, not go around.

Andrew: Yeah!

Jamie: When you think of Halloween, you think of Trick-or Treating. You think of getting material gain. Material gain is a bad thing, okay.

Andrew: Yeah!

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: But we should be celebrating our –

Micah: So, you don’t want those Lucky Charms?

Laura: Okay, so…

Ben: No, no, no, no! You guys can’t interrupt! You guys can’t interrupt.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Yeah! [laughs]

Ben: Shut up, you can’t interrupt. They didn’t interrupt you, so shut up.

Jamie: It is important to remember the true meaning of holidays. Christmas: the birth of Jesus Christ; Halloween: remembering the dead. We shouldn’t commercialize things. Yes, we have commercialized all these holidays, we shouldn’t do it though. Halloween we should go back and go back to its roots. Remember the dead. Trick-or-Treating is dangerous – it can be very dangerous. It teaches people the wrong things. It encourages them to egg houses – that is not good in today’s world. You can’t go around doing that, but it teaches them that it’s fine because it’s a joke. But it’s not a joke. They then think it’s funny to do it. They do it at other times, it turns into bricks.

Andrew: Yeah.

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: They cause complete stuff – bad things to property. It is not a good idea.

Ben: Okay, okay. That’s it.

Andrew: Hey, let me… I have one last thing. It’s not Trick-or-Treat: it’s trick or DIE!

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: I agree.

Andrew: Thank you.

Ben: Something that was funny about that entire time was the only input Andrew added was [does impression of Andrew] “Yeah”.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: I know.

Jamie: That was an awesome ending, Andrew. I liked that.

Andrew: Thanks.

Ben: Okay, I’m going to have to vote with Andrew and Jamie.

[Andrew, Ben, and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: And here’s why. Here’s why, it’s because…

Laura: Here is why: because Ben has a pattern of not voting for the team that Laura is on. I’ve noticed this.

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Ben: No.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Not true, not true. I beat you. I debated against you and beat you once. Anyways – no. Here is why, here’s why. Laura and Micah were focusing on saying, “Well, the holiday is not going to be eliminated anyway and it creates community.” But when you look to what we were debating over is that: “Trick-or-Treating is a morally vapid delinquent activity that exploits the fear of human beings into giving material gifts,” and that is what Andrew and Jamie focused on. They focused on the fact that it’s promoting the…

Andrew: Yeah!

Jamie: Yeah!

[Laura laughs]

Ben: …what tangible gifts you get out of the holiday, rather than focusing on the true meaning of Halloween.

Andrew: Death.

Ben: You guys, Laura and Micah, brought up Christmas. “Well, what about Christmas; that encourages it too.” Jamie and Andrew weren’t saying that Christmas is okay, they were saying that it’s all bad. It’s all bad. You guys never actually denied the fact that it’s encouraging kids one night of the year to go out and egg peoples houses and toilet paper them. So, yep.

Laura: Actually, we did, Ben. [laughs]

Ben: Huh?

Laura: That was – our big thing was saying Halloween doesn’t cause delinquency.

Ben: Yes, it does though.

Laura: People are delinquents everyday.

Ben: No, they are. But that’s one night where it’s like everyone goes out and does it.

Jamie: It encourages it, though.

Ben: Yeah.

Laura: Okay.

Jamie: Yes they are everyday, but it still encourages them.

Laura: Okay, people do that at Christmas too. People do that on holidays.

Ben: No, they don’t!

Laura: Yes, they do!

Ben: Not nearly as much, not nearly as much.

Andrew: No, nobody causes trouble on Christmas. [laughs]

Ben: Yeah, who goes out and eggs houses on Christmas?

Laura: Oh, please!

Andrew: I’ve never heard of that to be honest with you.

Laura: People…

Jamie: Laura…

Laura: People use excuses…

Ben: She made it up.

[Jamie laughs]

Laura: No, I didn’t.

Jamie: But, Laura…

Andrew: Alright well, we’ll see what the listeners think.

Ben: Your vote.

Chicken Soup For The MuggleCast Soul

Andrew: Popular… How about we just let the… No. No, we’ll do the same debate rules. While we’re doing some outrageous discussion topics here, we have a Chicken Soup for everyone that is pretty funny and I thought we could read it this week. It comes from Paige, 18, of Massachusetts. She writes:

“The other day I was riding the bus to Harvard Square while listening to MuggleCast and at one of the stops about 97 high schoolers got on the already fairly full bus. Each time we went around a curve in the road or around a corner we were so weighed down that the bottom of the bus would scrape ominously on the road and we would tilt to one side. For the first couple minutes, I was terrified that I was going to die, then I realized that it would not have been so bad to die at that moment because I was listening to MuggleCast. [Andrew laughs] Needless to say I did not die, however thank you for alleviating my fear of dying.”


Micah: That is *bleep*.

Jamie: Wow.

Andrew: You guys didn’t think that was funny? That was funny, I burst out laughing.

Micah: Ben is right, these people just make *bleep* up.

Ben: Yeah.

[Everyone laughs]

Listener Rebuttals – Accio Pronunciation

Andrew: We also have a rebuttal now from – I guess this is a lady named She Who Must Not Be Named, 18, of Absolutely Nowhere. She writes:

“Dear MuggleCast, I’ve been wondering how on Earth you are supposed to pronounce [pronounces it ‘ah-see-oh’] Accio. My friends have several theories on it, on how it’s pronounced, but I figured I’d have the excerpts…experts…”

Ben: [laughs] Excerpts.

Andrew: [laughs]

“…argue about it. So far I’ve heard it about three different ways, but I was wondering what you guys think. Is it Accio [pronounced ‘ak-see-oh’], Accio [pronounced ‘ah-key-oh’], or Accio [pronounced ‘ah-see-oh’]. I personally think it is Accio [pronounced ‘ak-see-oh’] because the word ‘accept’ also begins with ‘acc’ and is pronounced ‘ak-sept.’ However, no theories are safe from you, so I’ll let you handle that.”

I actually went on and used their cool pronunciation guide.

Jamie: Oh.

Ben: Is it [pronounced ‘haw-grid’] Hagrid too?

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah.

Ben: Can you say [pronounced ‘haw-grid’] Hagrid?

Jamie: [pronounced ‘a-las-tor’] Alastor.

Ben: [pronounced ‘ru-bay-us’] Rubeus. Rubeus.

[Micah and Laura laugh]

Andrew: I don’t know, but what do you guys think it is?

Laura: I think it’s [pronounced ‘ah-see-oh’] Accio.

Jamie: Hey Ben, shhh, you know who I mean [pronounced ‘vol-de-more’] Voldemort.

Laura: But in the movie they say [pronounced ‘ak-e-oh’] Accio.

Jamie: I say that. I say [pronounced ‘ak-e-oh’] Accio.

Andrew: Do they? The real, according to the…

Laura: Yeah, they say [pronounced ‘ak-e-oh’] Accio, I think it’s [pronounced ‘ah-see-oh’] Accio though.

Andrew: Yeah, it is.

Ben: I heard Jeff Guillaume from HPANA called it [pronounced ‘ach-e-oh’] Accio.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: I don’t think that’s right.

Andrew: I think that’s a little off.

Ben: Well, how did you say it, Andrew? How did you used to say it?

Andrew: [pronounced ‘ah-see-oh’] Accio.

Ben: [laughs] No, no.

Andrew: No, I probably used to say [pronounced ‘ak-e-oh’] Accio.

Ben: I say [pronounced ‘ah-see-oh’] Accio.

Andrew: [pronounced ‘ah-see-oh’] Accio.

Jamie: You can’t trust the Scholastic pronunciation guide, because that woman is so softly spoken. Isn’t she, Ben? It’s ridiculous.

Andrew: [laughs] I know.

Jamie: She can’t get more softly spoken.

Ben: [pronounced ‘ru-bay-us’] Rubeus.

Jamie: Yeah, no.

Ben: [pronounced ‘ru-bay-us’] Rubeus. [laughs]

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: And she says [pronounces it ‘kah-noots’] knuts as well, so anything she says is automatically wrong.

[Andrew, Micah, and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Geez!

Micah: I think you should do it from now on, Jamie.

Jamie: No way.

Micah: Apply for the job!

Micah’s Halloween Prediction

Andrew: Now, Micah…

Ben: Mic-er!

Andrew: …Halloween is coming up, and you did make a little promise a few weeks ago. And now today is Halloween, and we’re recording – so everyone knows – on Sunday. So, even if it’s true, we didn’t know, so don’t be like – if Micah was right, don’t be like, “Well, you didn’t release the show on the day it was announced, sp.” No, this is being recorded on Sunday. So…

Ben: This has been projected for weeks.

Andrew: Micah, you still – yeah. Are you still sticking with your prediction?

Micah: Yeah! I’m sticking with the prediction that on Tuesday, she will reveal the title of Book Seven.

Laura: And what if you’re wrong?

Andrew: Yeah. We need to make a little bet here.

Micah: We can make a bet. You guys…

Andrew: What do you think, Ben?

Micah: …have to come up with the alternative.

Andrew: What do you think, Ben?

Ben: Her bet? For his bet, I mean?

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: I think he should have to do the news like a chipmunk.

Andrew: Ooo! I like that!

Jamie: Yeah, that’s it, yeah.

[Laura laughs]

Micah: All right!

Andrew: That’s what we’ll do.

Jamie: [singing in a chipmunk voice] Watch out, cause here we come!

Andrew: Are you going to do it, Micah?

Micah: The full news or part of the news?

Andrew: The full news.

Jamie: [still singing] It’s been awhile, so we’re back in style. So, get set to have some fun!

Micah: Yeah! That’s fine.

Andrew: All right!

Micah: I’ll accept that.

Ben: Are you that confident it’s going to happen?

Jamie: Whoa.

Micah: Yeah! Yeah.

Jamie: Awesome.

Laura Mallory Update

Andrew: And now, we have – we have a Laura Mallory update for everyone, because you might remember that we tried calling her twice two weeks ago and the show before that. And a guy named Peter wrote in to us. He said he too tried to call her, and he had better results than we did. [laughs] And he writes:

“I decided to call up Laura Mallory, and she picked up. She said that the press has distorted a lot of her story and that she has read most of the books. I said stuff like Harry Potter shows good over evil, but she said you have to fight evil with evil.”

Jamie: Good argument, good argument.

Andrew: “She says heard…”

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: “She says she has heard of MuggleCast, but she doesn’t listen to it.”

Well, no kidding.

“She said she doesn’t have time to talk to you MuggleCasters, though.”

Ben: All right, let’s call her up.

Andrew: I’m sure she’s very busy doing a whole lot of banning right now.

Ben: Complaining.

Jamie: Complaining. Complaining and hating, yeah.

Andrew: Watching Desperate Housewives right now.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: That is – yeah.

Andrew: “She said she doesn’t answer her phone much either. Also…”

Jamie: Her phone is clearly an indication of evil as well. Aw, it’s terrible, you know? Satan lives in her phone.

Andrew: Also, she…”

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: I understand.

Andrew: “Also, she talked about kids doing witchcraft and how it’s real and stuff.”

Jamie: Trick or treat, trick or treat, trick or treat.

Andrew: “We talked for a little while and she talked about things she said – things she said on the show. I then said if she had time to talk at all these meetings, how come she doesn’t have time to talk to you guys? She then said that she had to go.”

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Hey.

Andrew: “She was just avoiding my questions, though. She said it was a blessing that I was talking to her and maybe we will wake up to see the truth about witchcraft and Harry Potter.”

Oh snap.

“I was just going to say that she could not let her kids read it and not stop the whole state, but she had already hung up. Maybe you guys should try calling again and see what happens.”

And then he gave us the number that he used, and we did use that number.

Pickles on Gilmore Girls

Andrew: Moving on – who caught the latest episode of Gilmore Girls?

Jamie: Not me.

Andrew: No one?

Laura: Mmm.

Andrew: I’m the only one who watches?

Ben: Mmm?

Andrew: Oh, okay. Well…

Laura: You watch Gilmore Girls? [laughs]

Andrew: Yes, of course, Laura! No, I wasn’t really watching them. We got a lot of emails, though, today, because the latest episode of Gilmore Girls – which I’m sorry, is the stupidest show I’ve ever seen. I had to download it to get the sound clip.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: On the latest episode, they had a huge pickle reference, because they kept referring to some sort of illegal substance as crack or…

[Andrew, Micah, and Laura laugh]

Andrew: …as pickles. So, they do a code name. So and they…

Ben: They borrowed it from us.

Andrew: It went something like this:

[Plays audio clip]

Lorelai: Hey, Rory.

Rory: Hey, what’s going on?

Lorelai: Ah, well, Star’s Hollow smells like pickles.

Rory: Pickles?

Lorelai: Pickles?

Rory: Pickles, pickles?

Lorelai: Pickles.

Rory: Why?

Lorelai: Because the pickle train crashed?

Rory: Is this a joke? Is this a long, boring joke that I’m not going to get?

Lorelai: No, it’s no joke. The town smells like pickles because the pickle train was derailed.

Rory: A train full of pickles? Who knew there was such a thing?

Lorelai: Well, pickle train conductors, for one. It sounds so fun. I would have been the greatest pickle train conductor! Can you see me? “All aboard, you pickles!”

Rory: Mmm. Clearly you missed your calling.

Lorelai: Well, luckily there’s you. You’re young, you’re clever, you’re our great pickle-train conductor.

Rory: I can’t believe I’m missing this.

Lorelai: Well, you can celebrate next year on the anniversary. Now what’s going on with you?

[Audio clip ends]

Andrew: So there you go. You know, I hear that the producer of Gilmore Girls actually listens to MuggleCast, and that’s how…

Ben: Probably.

Jamie: I heard that, too.

Andrew: …they had the idea. Because – how many listeners are we up to now?

Jamie: Four million?

Andrew: 25 million?

Jamie: No, it’s a bit less. It’s twenty or something, but…

Andrew: Yeah. Yeah, maybe I’m exaggerating a little bit, but…

Jamie: Sweden dropped out. They banned it, so we went down five million.

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

British Jokes of the Day

Andrew: Yeah. And to wrap things up today, we have a British joke of the day.

Jamie: I have a couple of Halloween ones and then a normal one today.

Ben: Hold on, is this a British joke or just an English joke?

Jamie: Oh yeah, it could just be an English…

Andrew: I guess we should say it’s an English joke.

Jamie: No, no, no! Because I…

Andrew: Just joking.

Jamie: I think I’m talking for Scotland and Wales and Northern Ireland as well, so I think it’s a British joke.

Andrew: [laughs] Okay.

Jamie: Okay. First one: which building in New York does Dracula visit? The Vampire State Building.

[Ben, Jamie, and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Ooo. Figured it had something to do with Empire.

Jamie: [laughs] Okay.

[Andrew imitates Jamie’s laugh]

Jamie: Okay. Okay, one sec. Okay. Who was the most famous French skeleton?

Andrew: I don’t know.

Jamie: Napoleon Bone-aparte.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Okay, this is good. This is good. What happens when the popular goats – sorry, ghost – gets lost in the fog? He is mist.

Andrew: What?

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: Oh.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: This is brilliant.

Andrew: Way to laugh, everyone. Way to add to it.

Jamie: Yeah, excellent.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: You were a ghost.

Jamie: How did the ghost go on holiday? This is terrible, I must admit. [laughs]

Andrew: I don’t know.

Jamie: By scare-plane.

Andrew: That’s just dumb!

Jamie: It is atrocious. Okay. Why don’t skeletons go to parties? Because they have no body to go with.

Andrew: Oh, ho, ho, ho.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Okay, now away from the Halloween theme, this is a joke I made up. Okay?

Ben: No, you didn’t.

Andrew: Oh!

Jamie: I did! I swear I did! I swear I did.

Andrew: Ben stinks.

Jamie: Two kettles are arguing, okay?

Andrew: [laughs] What are you…

Jamie: [laughs] Okay?

Andrew: How did he come up with this?

Jamie: Two kettles are arguing. They keep swearing at each other and shouting. One of them – somebody says, “Why are we arguing?” The other one says, “Oh, we’re just letting off some steam.”

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, that wasn’t bad, actually! Those were pun-believable.

Jamie: Okay, so there we go.

Halloween Delinquency

Ben: So has your house ever been toilet papered or egged, Jamie? Is that why you’re so…

Jamie: No, but I’ve only lived here, in this house in Durham, for about four weeks.

Ben: No, but what about at home, though? Has your house…

Jamie: No, it hasn’t, actually. No, no, it hasn’t. Oh! We once got a plant pot thrown at the front door.

[Andrew, Laura, and Micah laugh]

Andrew: On Halloween, or just some random…

Jamie: No, it’s just normally, I think. Actually don’t think it had anything to do with Halloween.

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Andrew: Oh geez.

Micah: Oh, so you’re saying there’s delinquent activities on days other than Halloween.

Jamie: Exactly. But Halloween encourages it, which is terrible, Micah!

Ben: Once…

Andrew: We’ll have to listen…

Ben: Once someone took a baseball bat to my mailbox.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Ben: Like they completely…

Andrew: Really?

Ben: They seriously just completely knocked it off, right off the post.

Jamie: That’s not very nice.

[Laura laughs]

MuggleCast Mix-up

Andrew: We want to remind everyone that the MuggleCast Mix #1 was actually released on the feed earlier this week, and for that reason, we got a third of the regular downloads that we do on Episode 60, [laughs] because nobody got their latest show. So if you think – if anyone’s confused and didn’t get Episode 60, it is there. You just have to check your feed for older episodes other than the most recent one.

Show Close

Andrew: So, to contact us the P. O. Box, Ben, is located at?


PO Box 223
Moundridge, Kansas, 67107.

Jamie: But don’t send anything valuable in case his mailbox gets a baseball batted [laughs] in it again.

Ben: Yeah. Again.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew [Show Close with music in background]: We are going to get back to voicemails probably next week, if you have a voicemail question that you want to – that you want us to answer on the show. Remember to keep it under thirty seconds and try to eliminate as much background noise as possible, then call, in the United States, 1-218-20-MAGIC. If you’re in the United Kingdom you can dial 020-8144-0677. If you’re in Australia you can call 02-8003-5668. You can also Skype the username MuggleCast. And you can also email us using mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com or just use the handy feedback form right there at mugglecast dot com. Once again, I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I’m Ben Schoen.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

Micah: And I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

Andrew: We’ll see you next week for Episode 62 of MuggleCast. Oh, and email us and let us know what you thought of the opening of the show. Let us know if you liked it, or not. And peace, out.

Jamie: And be cool on Halloween.

Andrew: And remember be safe.

Jamie: Don’t go Trick-or-Treating.

Andrew: Check your candy, kids.

Ben: Don’t be – don’t be morally vapid.


Jamie: I just don’t think about it.

Laura: No, if the story development is good…

Jamie: What, you mean like…

Laura: Then the movie is probably going to be good.

Jamie: Laura, do you mean like if say movie one, Harry’s 10 and if in movie three he’s 85, the character development wouldn’t be…

Laura: No, no, no,

Jamie: Wouldn’t be true to life.

Laura: I’m saying, for instance…

Jamie: He’s got a beard.

[Andrew laughs]

[Laura sighs]

Jamie: I’d love to have a beard, I would. No actually I wouldn’t.

Laura: Well then, grow one.

Andrew: He can’t.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Laura, are you joking?

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: I could not shave for a year-and-a-half and look like a baby.

[Laura and Andrew laughing]

Jamie: Actually, that is untrue. That is untrue.

Ben: Well not really.

Jamie: I’m just starting to get stubble on my neck now, that is a serious step.

Andrew: Oh my god.

Jamie: It’s like, it’s like…

Andrew: [laughing] You’re 19 and you’re just starting to get that.

Laura: That’s pretty normal.

Jamie: It’s like-

Andrew: No, it’s not.

Laura: Yeah, it is.

Jamie: Yes, it is.

Andrew: How would you know, Laura?

[Micah laughs]

Laura: Because it’s…

Jamie: Laura, Laura, Laura…

Andrew: Do you have stubble on your neck yet?

Jamie: Laura, when did you first start shaving?

Laura: Okay…

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: No, most… Okay, most guys…

Jamie: Can you wax your face, Laura? Instead of shaving?

Laura: I don’t need to wax my face.

Jamie: I don’t mean you. I don’t mean you, I mean men. Instead of shaving can you wax your face or not?

Laura: Yeah, you can get your face waxed.

Andrew: Ryan Seacrest does.

Jamie: No, I mean can you buy like strips…

Ben: No, it’s not, Laura

Jamie: …and then just put them on your face and rip them off? Can you do that?

Laura: Yeah, yeah you can.

Jamie: Really?

Laura: Yes [laughing].

Jamie: Well there you go it’s sorted then…

Andrew: [sings] You think you’ve got the stuff, telling me and anyone, it’s hard enough…”

Laura: [laughs] Andrew?

Andrew: [sings] “You don’t have to put up a fight.” [speaks] What?

Laura: Guess how many times I’ve listened to the “Saints Are Coming” on my iTunes?

Andrew: [sings] “Don’t have to always be right.” [speaks] Let me look at mine first.

Laura: [laughs] okay.

Andrew: [sings] “Take some of the punches for you tonight. Listen to me now.” [speaks] Hold on. [resumes signing] “Needed to let you know…”

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: 69 [laughs] for me. How many times for you?

Laura: 97.

Andrew: Oh my god! [sings] “And it’s still…”

[U2 plays in the background]

Laura: We should sing that song on here.

Andrew: And it’s you that ought to pick up the phone. Sometimes you can’t make it on your own.

Laura: I love the variation in your voice. How you go from like really bad opera singer to somewhat…

Andrew: Beautiful?

[Micah laughs]

Laura: [laughs] Yeah. Beautiful.

Andrew: [sings]
“All the time…”

[Micah laughs]

Andrew: Can we…

Jamie: I’m going to send children away empty handed.

Andrew: Can we make like a contest?

Laura: To see…

Jamie: What, who can be meanest?

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: No, no, no. I think it would be funny if you took a video of yourself drop-kicking a pumpkin and watching it explode.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Would you also…

Andrew: It could be like a contest prize or something, [laughs] You get to see it or something.

Jamie: Would you…

Micah: But, would it be…

Andrew: So we film it so you can watch it and put it on YouTube.

Jamie: Would you also like a video of my being…

Ben: In a way…

Jamie: …carted of to the police station as well? Well Andrew for-

Andrew: Why because you broke your foot from drop-kicking a pumpkin?

Jamie: Yes, because when…

Laura: You get arrested in Britain…

Jamie: Because, because…

Laura: For breaking pumpkins?

Jamie: Because when… Yes, Andrew, because when you break your foot you get taken to the police station not the hospital.

Ben: Yeah [laughs]

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: I was going to say that.

Andrew: I meant hospital. No, seriously why would you get in trouble for drop-kicking a pumpkin?

Jamie: Because, it’s a breach of the peace. Okay, let me do a bit of history here okay?

Andrew: What?

Jamie: Let me do a bit of history okay?

Andrew: No, we don’t care for your British history.

Ben: No seriously, I want to hear this.

Andrew: It’s clearly flawed.

Jamie: It’s interesting – okay.

Andrew: Okay.

Jamie: There is – everything in England is to do with the Queen basically, okay. There is a thing called the Queen’s Peace, okay. The Queen’s Peace is being nice to everyone, there’s no war going on, there’s no trouble in the streets, okay. There is a crime – it isn’t actually on the record books as a crime, but it’s… There’s a thing called Breach of the Peace, which is a Breach of the Queen’s Peace. And you can be arrested for this thing, Breach of the Peace. So if you’re caught brawling in the streets, or if you’re caught throwing stuff or shouting at someone you’re in violation of a Breach of the Peace, so I can get arrested for that. Or, I can get arrested for harassment.

Andrew: Huh?

Jamie: All manner of things you can get arrested for.

Ben: For harassing a pumpkin?

Jamie: Yes, yes.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Harassment!

Jamie: They’re very, very sensitive pumpkins.

[Ben and Laura laugh]

Micah: But…

Laura: Would you get arrested for belting out “Proud to be an American” in the streets?

Jamie: No, no, I wouldn’t, but that’s a good idea. I’ll try it if you don’t hear from me in a few weeks, I probably….

Ben: Jamie, Jamie. Someone emailed in saying that you don’t know your own Britishness because, like you said there’s no such thing as a British accent it’s an English accent and that you should have corrected us long ago for saying British accent.

Jamie: Yeah it’s true, it’s true. Of course.

Andrew: Oh yeah, I saw that. What are you doing to us?

Laura: What? How is there no such thing as a British accent? What?

Andrew: Because apparently it’s an English accent is what they call it.

Jamie: It’s like calling it an American accent.

Jamie: It’s all dialects, you know. It’s like…

Andrew: It’s like people say you have a Jersey accent.

Jamie: Yeah, no, it’s like a…

Andrew: And that’s not a real accent.

Jamie: I don’t have an accent.

Andrew: Yes, you do.

Jamie: If you came here – no, okay fine, but if you came here and said to somebody what type of accent do you have, they’d say I didn’t have one, I just have a normal English accent.

Ben: Because, that’s because they’ve got like Cockney.

Jamie: Very good Benjamin, there is Cockney. There’s Cockney, sort of Birmingham, Welsh accents, Scottish accents, Northern accents, Geordie accents, all types of accents. It’s just like America. Yeah.

Micah: But Jamie, I’m curious though, wouldn’t the Queen be proud of you for teaching these kids a life lesson by stealing their pumpkins.

Jamie: Yes, she would. And if she isn’t, I’ll go down to the palace and…

Laura: [laughs] And drop-kick the queen?

Jamie: And drop-kick her, yeah.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: She can land right in the river Thames and swim back and see how she likes it.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Not that I have been dropped in the river Thames.

Ben: You know, I thought it was the River Thames [pronounces it ‘Thaymes’] River Thames.

Jamie: Everyone calls it the Thames [pronounces it ‘Thaymes’], first of all.

Laura: You would.

Ben: [imitating Laura] You would.

Andrew: I wouldn’t.

Ben: Andrew would probably call it the Thames [pronounces it ‘Tha-mays’].

Andrew: No, Ben, I actually – I thought it was Thames [pronounces it ‘Thaymes’] too. Okay, all right. So, what else is there to talk about.

Jamie: But yeah. Micah the Queen would be in serious trouble if she didn’t approve. Actually, should I say that? Yeah, go on then, yeah.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: You can put that in. Put it in.

Laura: Do you think the Queen listens?

Jamie: Oh, she does, she does.

Andrew: Am I the only one…

Jamie: The Royal Podcast.

Andrew: Am I the only one…

[Micah laughs]


Written by: Micah, Adrienne, Allison, Amanda, Briana, Jessica, Judy, Margaret, Martina, Matt, Megan, Samantha, Sarah, Shannon and Shelly

Episode 61: Royal Tannenbaum

  • This week we welcome you to the show with our sweet new intro.
  • Why is WB so adamant about keeping the movies 2 1/2 hours long?
  • Check out MuggleNet’s new book, MuggleNet.com’s What Will Happen In Harry Potter 7.
  • Probably Prophecy! (Nudge, nudge, wink, wink!)
  • Jamie’s lack of Halloween enjoyment as a child explains his bitter disposition as an adult.
  • Main Discussion: Ghosts, Poltergeists, and Ghouls, oh my!
  • How should we take Nearly Headless Nick’s advice to Harry at the end of OOTP?
  • What’s with the Bloody Baron, and why is he so… bloody?
  • Was the Grey Lady inspired by the ghost of Lady Jane Grey, who haunts the Tower of London?
  • Could Dumbledore get rid of Peeves?
  • Does Professor Binns know anything crucial about Voldemort?
  • Debate: Halloween is a morally vapid holiday, which encourages delinquency.
  • Andrew and Jamie vs. Micah and Laura.
  • Chicken Soup for the MuggleCast Soul.
  • Laura Mallory update.
  • British/Halloween joke.

Download Now
Running time: 1:12:23, 33.5 MB

Transcript 060

MuggleCast 60 Transcript

Show Intro

Andrew [Show Intro with music in background]: Because we all could use a little more love, this is MuggleCast Episode 60 for October 22nd, 2006.

See why GoDaddy.com is the number one domain registrar worldwide. Now with your domain registration, you’ll get hosting, a free blog, complete e-mail, and much more. Plus, as a MuggleCast listener, enter the code “Ron,” that’s R-O-N, when you check out and get your dot com domain name for just $6.95 a year. Get your piece of the Internet today at GoDaddy.com.

Eric’s Crackpot Theory of the Week

Andrew: Eric Scull, your crackpot theory of the week is: Dumbledore was a hairless Demiguise.

Eric: Realistically, whose beard is that long? It’s got to be – it’s got to be fake. It’s got to be a wig or maybe magically enhanced or something, but nobody’s beard is that long. Really, what you don’t know about Albus Dumbledore is that he’s been bald since birth. It’s just a character trait.

Laura: You’re supposed to be proving it, Eric.

[Kevin laughs]

Andrew: Yeah.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Did I ever prove them?

Laura: Yeah, you’re supposed to use, like, evidence to support the theory…

Andrew: Yes.

Eric: Oh!

Laura: …no matter how outrageous it is.

Eric: Right. Well, aren’t Demiguises the things that can go invisible?

Laura: Yeah…

Andrew: Yes.

Eric: Yes, well, easily without wearing an invisibility cloak. Even though they’re cut up…

Laura: Uh huh…

Eric: …and made into… They’re – they’re made into
invisibility cloaks. So I don’t know if that counts as not wearing one
if you’re wearing your own skin.

Andrew: So is that your answer? Is that the best you can do?

Eric: Well, I don’t know. What does…

Andrew: For the fans, for the listeners.

Eric: What does Chad, 15, from, you know, Arkansas think of that, who sent it in?

Andrew: It was actually Miranda, 17, of Idaho, and her points include:
Dumbledore can turn invisible without a cloak…

Eric: Yay! Hey!

Andrew: Another point; this would be a reason it’s weird that he had James’s cloak, even though he can turn invisible himself.

Eric: Ah, I didn’t think of that one.

Ben: Well, let’s get, let’s get her on the show. She can do…

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: She can do…

Andrew: Forget Eric.

Ben: …Eric’s Crackpot Theory better than Eric can. [laughs]

Andrew: Eric’s fired. [laughs]

Eric: Uh.

Andrew: He seems to be able to see through the invisibility cloaks.

Eric: Andrew, why does that make him a hairless Demiguise?

Andrew: I don’t know. [laughs]

Eric: I…

Andrew: She said, “I know, crazy, I almost had myself convinced before I realized just what I was saying.”

Welcome Back

Andrew: Welcome to another week of some excellent MuggleCasting, ladies and gentlemen. I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I’m Ben Schoen.

Eric and

Kevin: [simultaneously] I’m…

Kevin: Kevin Steck.

[Everyone speaks at the same time]

Eric: Oh, sorry.

Andrew: Whoa…

Eric: I forgot.

Ben: Whoa, Eric. Who do you think you are?

Eric: I forgot. I forgot my place there, just for a second.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: I’m very sorry. I’m going to go last, in honor of myself.

Ben: And Jamie.

Laura: Good job, Eric. I’m Laura Thompson.

Eric: I’m Eric Scull.

Andrew: This would be the show where we bring you the latest in Harry Potter news, theories, discussions, all this other nonsense.

Ben: This would be the show, or this is the show?

Andrew: I think this is the show.

Ben: Okay.

Andrew: But it could be, and it will be.

Ben: I was going to say; maybe we’re doing something different this
week. Maybe we’re just going to BS the entire time.

Andrew: I don’t know. Maybe we’ll try that.

Kevin: [laughs] Oh, yeah. Something different.

Andrew: Before we do anything else, though…

Ben: Speaking of BS, let’s go to Micah Tannenbaum…

[Andrew and Kevin laugh]

Ben: …for the past week’s news.


Micah: It was reported after months of negotiations, JK Rowling had signed a letter of intent to the Walt Disney Company allowing them to carry out preliminary construction on a theme park with Harry Potter characters. Tuesday, a representative for Jo informed us that there is no truth to this. There goes my shot at riding Dementors of the Caribbean. That was a terrible joke.

Terry Gilliam, the acclaimed director Warner Bros. turned down for Sorcerer’s Stone, said in a new interview that he has no intention to direct either Movie 6 or 7, debunking previous rumors that he would. He was quoted as saying, “Warner Bros. had their chance the first time around, and they blew it. It’s a factory job, that’s what it is, and I know the way it’s done. I’ve had too many friends work on those movies. I know the way it works, and that’s not the way I work.”

Many Terry, retract those claws, would ya?

Gilliam went on to discuss what his Potter movie would have been like:

He said: “Alfonso Cuaron’s [Prisoner of Azkaban] is really good, but the first two I thought were just bad. They missed the whole point of it; they missed the magic of it… Alfonso did something much closer to what I would’ve done.”

Awww, somebody’s jealous. That was just too easy.

In a new interview, actor Rupert Grint spoke a little about the fifth Harry Potter movie, saying they have about a month of filming remaining. He also mentioned a Christmas scene with the Weasleys that he enjoyed, and touched on the topic of a director for Half-Blood Prince, noting rumors that Alfonso Cuaron or Chris Columbus may return for the film.

HP4U.co.uk has released a new report after visiting the Order of the Phoenix set recently. The crew was in the process of shooting scenes involving Thestrals, Hogsmeade Station, and the Hogwarts Express. Filming was located at Black Park in Buckinghamshire, England.

Finally, the American Library Association is asking teens to vote this week – why just teens? Everybody vote this week for their three favorite books with the association subsequently posting the top 10. Half-Blood Prince is among those nominated. Be sure to vote and make Laura Mallory cringe.

That’s all the news for this October 22nd, 2006 edition of MuggleCast. Back to the show.


Andrew: Okay, thank you, Micah. Let’s take care of a few announcements.
Don’t forget to purchase your MuggleCast t-shirts because they help
support the show, and they’re very nice to wear. We have some new designs out – actually we have one new design. We have the Lumos shirts that are available. They’re pretty cool looking, so even if you didn’t go to Lumos, even if you don’t know what Lumos is, buy them because they’re cool-looking. And…

Ben: Lumos 2006. They’re very nice t-shirts.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: All the cool kids are doing it.

Andrew: Don’t forget to place your vote at Podcast Alley. We’re actually falling behind this month. We’re like, number five.

Eric: For shame.

Andrew: Yeah, there’s other podcasts beating us and it’s kind of sad,
[starts speaking quietly] so maybe if everyone could just place
their votes once a month, we could get a little higher up there. So…

Ben: Please, just once a month.

Eric: Self-conscience.

Andrew: Just once a month.

Laura: Wow.

Andrew: Okay.

Laura: Love how sad we sound.

Andrew: Bad news out of Australia. Bad news out of Australia.

Ben: We lost. Oh, my gosh.

Kevin: Awww, geez.

Andrew: Lost the Nickelodeon Australian Kids’ Choice Awards to a podcast called Camp Orange Maudecast.

Laura: What is that?

Andrew: “Which makes sense, considering it is a Nick show,” writes Megan, 18, of Australia. The Kids’ Choice Awards got some criticism in the past, I was reading on Wikipedia…

Eric: Yeah, it’s not worth it.

Andrew: …because they sort of – the winners always seem to be Nick –
Nickelodeon-related television shows.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: So, it doesn’t surprise me that we didn’t win. Even if – maybe, you know, granted, maybe we didn’t get the most votes.

Ben: We all know it’s a load of phooey, because who listens to the Camp Orange Maudecast?

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Seriously.

Andrew: It’s not even on iTunes. I tried to look it up on iTunes.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: It wasn’t there.

Eric: They have their own…

Andrew: But, thanks to everyone who did place a vote for us, we appreciate it.

Ben: So, so do us a favor. E-mail Nickelodeon, send them your complaints. [laughs]

Andrew: Let them know how you feel about this win.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: Yeah, let them know how you feel about MuggleCast getting shot down.

Andrew: Also, you might be wondering where Jamie is this week.

Eric: No.

Andrew: MuggleCast has personally paid for him to get lessons in French because he butchered the RSVP pronunciation. He thought it was “repondez s’il vous plait,” then someone e-mailed and said, “No, it’s respondez s’il vous plait,” without checking it. [laughs] So, he just said – he just trusted that one person. It actually is “repondez s’il vous plait.” Thanks to Holly, 17, of Canada.

Ben: Come on, Jamie.

Andrew: We’ll never bring it up again. Yeah, we will never bring it up again. [laughs]

Ben: Yeah.

MuggleCast at Prophecy 2007

Andrew: Also, little announcement. It’s so far – it’s so far back in the planning stages. [clears throat] It’s – we really have nothing to say, other than that – well, here, let me ask you guys something. What is the number one request that we get right now?

Ben: More Ben Schoen, I think.

Laura: [laughs] No.

Andrew: That’s number two. What’s number one?

Ben: Oh. Less Eric Scull?

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Andrew: That’s number three.

Ben: Awww, I’m …I can’t…

Eric: [laughs] That’s…

Andrew: The number one thing people are asking us right now is, “Will you guys be at Prophecy 2007…”

Kevin: Oh, yeah.

Andrew: “…in Canada?”

Kevin: Oh.

Laura: Geez. [laughs]

Andrew: Which is August 2nd to the 5th, 2007.

Ben: Nothing good ever came out of Canada.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

Ben: I’m just kidding. I’m just kidding, Canadian visitors.

Eric: Well, it didn’t come from Canada, HPF is based in America.

Ben: I know, I’m just kidding.

Eric: I’m registered.

Ben: Are you really?

Andrew: The answer is – you – you signed up for Prophecy?

Eric: Yeah.

Ben: Save Gas Money. [laughs] Part two, with Eric Scull.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Andrew: [still laughing] Two.

Eric: Part two. I rearranged the acronym. We’re going to read Book Three from Chapter Four, “The Dementor,” on…

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: We’re just going to read all night long.

Ben: We’re going to popcorn read?

Andrew: Oh, yeah, are we?

Eric: And John Noe’s going to be there. He’s going to show up and hand
out Leaky stickers and leave.

Ben: What site?

Andrew: So if you haven’t figured it out, yes, we are planning on going to Prophecy.

Ben: Did you actually, did you actually…

Andrew: There’s no…

Ben: …talk to Melissa about this?

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: No. We haven’t talked; we haven’t talked to the Prophecy people about doing a live podcast yet, or anything. So…

Ben: But we will be there. Tentatively. Tentatively.

Kevin: Yeah.

Ben: Okay.

Andrew: Yes.

Ben: Tentatively.

Andrew: If you want to help us out, if you want to help us out, send a little e-mail to the Prophecy
people. Say, “Hey, at Lumos, the Leaky Mug did a podcast. They going to be doing one again?” You know, just drop a hint, you know? And then we’ll get in contact with them soon. So…

Ben: Yeah, so as of right now we’ll know for sure in like, probably
within the next, you know, it has to be the next month or two, we’ll
know for sure if we’re doing a podcast or not.

Andrew: I guess.

Ben: Well, you know, last time…

Laura: Maybe. [laughs]

Ben: …we knew November, and the convention was in…

Andrew: Was it November?

Laura: Yeah, it was November.

Ben: Yeah, we asked in November, and the convention was clear in…

Andrew: Oh, okay.

Ben: It was in July.

Andrew: July.

Ben: So… And this time, it’s in early August. So, yeah, Prophecy.org , I believe is the website. So…

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Go check it out. Get registered.

Andrew: Send them an e-mail.

Ben: Tell them MuggleCast sent you.

Andrew: Yeah.

Listener Rebuttal: Time

Andrew: Okay, well last week, everyone might remember that we had a great – it was a pretty good discussion on time.

Kevin: It was pretty good. I think we hurt people’s heads.

Andrew: We did. We got a lot of feedback.

Ben: I was gone. How many times did Andrew sing, [sings]

Andrew: Just once.

Kevin: Just once, yeah.

Andrew: [laughs] I did it for you, and then I had a little moment because you weren’t there to sing it with me.

Ben: Awww.

Andrew: It’s really touching. [laughs]

Laura: How sad.

Andrew: Anyway, we got some lengthy rebuttals. We’re going to read two of them now. One from BD, of Alabama, age is 27.

“On the subject of time – [imitates Kevin] Kevin is right. In linear time…”

Ben: About time.

Andrew: [laughs] …if someone goes back in time to change an event, then it creates a paradox. If someone wants to change an event by going back in time, and they have time travel at their disposal, they would go back in time and change the event. Now here comes the paradox; if the event has changed and all the following events were changed, why would the time traveler want to go back and change an event in the first place after the event was changed?” [laughs].

Kevin: It’s true.

Andrew: [continues reading] “In other words, the time traveler would not have any reason to go back in time to change the event, so how did it get changed? Now, if you’re still reading this, I would like to point out that this is one of JK Rowling’s more brilliant ideas in the Prisoner of Azkaban. The events that were changed by Harry and Hermione had already happened in their timeline. Buckbeak and Sirius escaped before Harry and Hermione went back in time, and they had already helped them to do it. We never saw Buckbeak executed in the book. Harry, Ron, and Hermione assumed that McNair cut off his head, but we actually saw him cut into a pumpkin. Harry and Hermione did not change anything, they did what was done. They just did not know we actually saw him cut…” [stumbles]


[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: “They just did not know what was done which gave them a reason to go back in time and change it. Also it would be just like Dumbledore to know exactly how Buckbeak escaped when he suggested to Hermione that they could save two lives. Keep up the good work, love the show.”

That was long.

Eric: Yes, but there’s a flaw in that, which is the Harry seeing Harry across the lake and thinking it was his father because initially there would’ve had to be someone to start off that chain reaction. Like the first time Harry went back to make him see somebody across the lake and then do something.

Kevin: Yeah, but that goes into the paradox.

Laura: Yeah, but…

Kevin: It falls into a loop.

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah, but

Ben: An infinite loop, right Kevin?

Kevin: Right.

Eric: I’m of the… I’m of the liking that when you go back in time it strays. Stray paradoxes, such as Back to the Future. How timelines change based on different events, if you alter…

Kevin: Yeah, like… Yes.

Eric: I don’t think it’s just one. I think time itself is comprised of a bazillion different dimensions and every little choice, every little difference that we can make in the world, creates an alternate, separate but different…

Kevin: Scenario.

Eric: …universe. And then that’s just like we’re traveling through time by going through all these things. It’s really cool. Watch Sliders, by the way, it’s this old show on Fox.

Listener Rebuttal: Time, Part Two

Ben: Let’s go to James. Let’s go to James. Let’s see what James, 105, of Baton Rouge has to say.

Andrew: That’s pretty old. Are you going to read it?

Ben: I’ll read it.

The whole time discussion was a bit convoluted. I think you should imagine time from each individual as a string. For the trio, set each string on a very long table and have an inch equal an hour. I know they’d be very long strings, but we’ll focus on the end of Year Three. Since Ron has never traveled back through time, his string would be perfectly straight. Since Harry has ever only ever gone back two hours, his would be interrupted and folded back so that there would be two inches overlapped. That is to say there would be two inches where the string was doubled. So yes, Harry would be in two places during two hours. Hermione would have that effect multiple times during the school year, since the whole idea of a Time-Turner was so she could take classes that occurred at the same time. She would have to be in two places at the same time, several times per week. So her string would be folded over in several places. As a matter of fact, if she used the Time-Turner to go back two hours each school day, that would be ten hours a week, and assuming a 44 week school year, four weeks for each summer and Christmas, she…”

Sorry I’m burping here.

“…would have aged an extra 440 hours. So, at the end of the school year she would be older by about two and a half weeks compared to if she had never touched a Time-Turner.”

Eric: So basically, it’s not even worth celebrating Hermione Granger’s birthday anymore. Because she was hitting that Time-Turner, or if you do celebrate it’s…

Kevin: Yeah, but it doesn’t – it doesn’t change the fact that it is on that day.

Eric: Huh?

Kevin: Well, her birthday is on that day.

Eric: Well, that’s true, that’s true, the birthday…

Ben: I’m confused what they’re saying. How would it make her older?

Eric: That’s true, yeah. No.

Ben: Because she was alive twice during that time?

Eric: It means – yeah, it’s still her birthday. Birth day.

Kevin: The method that person’s using to, like, judge time is from like an external observer. Like someone observing someone externally. But because everyone’s within that environment it doesn’t bode well for if you’re trying to track time and you’re a participant within the world or within that area.

Eric: So what theory did they use? Which extrapolation method? If you…

Kevin: That, that – what they’re just saying is to count how old the person is.

Eric: Yeah.

Kevin: It’s not really based on what stream of time they’re in because we’re all within the same…

Eric: I know it. I just kind of got an idea of the Greek; the three ladies with the scissors. The – what were they? The seers or whoever.

Laura: The Fates?

Eric: Yeah, the Fates, of course, the Fates! Who cut your string and determine when you are going to die. And in Hercules they sing and they dance. And…

Kevin: Nice.

Eric: …that’s it.

Andrew: It was just an interesting way that James put it, I think, using the strings because it’s an easier way to demonstrate. Basically, Ben, you asked earlier, what are they saying by how she aged earlier. When she’s going back in time, she has to relive up to the point where she originally went back in time. So she’s still aging. Her aging does not stop. Follow?

Ben: Oh, I see what you are saying.

Laura: Yeah.

Ben: I got you.

[Laura laughs]

Kevin: We did mention a problem with this last show, where if you go
back in time too far you won’t have enough time to catch up before you die.

Eric: [laughs] Of old age?

[Laura laughs]

Kevin: Of old age. So…

Laura: Yeah.

Kevin: …You know, the repercussions of that.

Andrew: We’ll get to some more rebuttals later.

Ben: That’s weird. It’s all confusing.

Andrew: It is.

Ben: I’m going to time travel.

Kevin: I got so many emails about people saying we made their head hurt.

Eric: Yeah, and it was an episode without me.

Laura: There were actually people who didn’t like the show. There were
people who thought that we went in too many circles.

Andrew: Really?

Ben: Well, that’s time travel for you.

Eric: Time is circular.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: History repeats itself, get used to it.

Main Discussion: The Department of Mysteries

Andrew: Let’s get into our main discussion now. I think this might be the final part of our Department of Mysteries discussion.

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: It’s basically a wrap-up of everything else that we did not discuss already, between time and the Veil.

Laura: Well, we talked about, as Andrew said, the Veil and time which I think were the two biggest things that were focused on during the Department of Mysteries chapters. But there were a lot of other little things in there that I think a lot of people are wondering about.

Ministry Access Too Easy?

The first of which is why was it so easy for Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Luna, and the Death Eaters to get into the ministry that night. There was no security. Why was that? Harry even noted that he felt ominous that there was no security; he felt there should have been. Why was there no one in the Ministry that night?

Ben: So JK Rowling could write a story.

Andrew: Well what gets me…

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Closed for writing session.

Laura: Okay…

Ben: No, no okay, if you were to as JK Rowling this question, and I was just being a wisenheimer [pauses], like usual.

Andrew: Oh, Ben, you are a wisenheimer.

Laura: Which you are so often.

Ben: I am such a wisenheimer.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: The reason there was no security; maybe they were distracted with something else. Hmmm.

Laura: Like what?

Kevin: Yeah, I mean.

Andrew: But the entire Ministry of Magic?

Ben: Yes.

Laura: Yeah, okay.

Ben: Yeah.

Kevin: But it’s not the entire Ministry. It’s somewhat of a workplace. So, I mean go into any of your financial buildings at twelve midnight and you’re going to find maybe three or four people there. A security guard…

Andrew: The janitor.

Kevin: The janitors.

Ben: Right, right.

Kevin: Maybe the person staying late…

Ben: But this is different, though.

Laura: Yeah.

Ben: This is the fabled Department of Mysteries.

Laura: Yeah.

Ben: This is not the lobby at the Ministry of Magic. This is…

Andrew: Well, that’s the thing that got me. They were able to just go into the elevator and select Department of Mysteries.

Laura: And then just open the door and go in.

Andrew: And they go in.

Laura: Yeah, there was no one guarding it.

Andrew: It’s like even at hotels, exclusive rooms you need a key card to get in. [laughs]

Kevin: Yeah, I was always under the impression there were preparations made by Death Eaters to arrange that.

Eric: Yeah, because they’re waiting for him.

Laura: Yeah but how’d they do that?

Eric: Well, they have contacts. Lucius Malfoy…

Kevin: Oh I’m sure.

Eric: It’s not like he would pay…

Kevin: Through curses. Yeah I mean…

Laura: What do you think that Malfoy paid off…

Eric: No it’s…

Laura: Whatever, that Eric guy to leave, the security guy.

Kevin: Or put him under a curse.

Andrew: Not paid off.

Eric: Or did something, I mean I’m not saying he paid off…

Ben: The Death Eaters arrived first, correct?

Laura: Yes.

Eric: Well, they were waiting for Harry.

Ben: Okay, well maybe it’s a case like we saw in Sorcerer’s
, where Quirrell pretty much cleared the pathway for Harry to get to the final area, maybe the Death Eaters had already taken care of the security measures, and made it – because, you know, their goal was to lure Harry into the Ministry of Magic, and if there’s extraneous or extra security, then it’s going to be more difficult for them to do it. So…

Laura: Yeah, but it’s still the Department of Mysteries. How were they able to just walk into it?

Eric: Also, remember they are Voldemort and they can’t let the Ministry see Voldemort, or whatever, so they have to protect themselves too. But, no, that’s not the example I want to use. Was it even midnight, guys? I was under the impression that everybody was just out at lunch, or…

Everyone: No!

Andrew: It wasn’t during the afternoon.

Laura: It was night time.

Eric: Because… Are you sure?

Kevin: Yeah, they were talking about…

Andrew: The sun was rising.

Laura: The sun was rising when Harry…

Andrew: When he got into…

Laura: …got back to Dumbledore’s office.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: So, it took place during the night.

Eric: Well, okay, but I was under the impression that everybody was wandering back into the lobby right after, you know, the whole fight occurred.

Laura: No, Harry heard people…

Eric: As if coming back from lunch.

Laura: Yeah, he said he heard people going to breakfast and he couldn’t believe that people were still enjoying a meal knowing what he’d just been through.

Andrew: Mhm. Yeah.

Eric: Well, that was the next day. I mean at – in the lobby, right after the fountain, you know, exploded, Fudge was like, “Oooh, look the fountain. Yes, I saw him too.” But then people were kind of wandering back in like, “What just happened here?” Like, “Where were they?”

Laura: Well, that was… [laughs] Well, that was because…

Eric: It’s not that…

Laura: …by the time, by the time…

Kevin: They had got alerted by that point.

Laura: Exactly! By the time all this was happening, the Aurors had already been alerted [laughs].

Kevin: They had been monitoring this place, figuring out the…

Ben: Don’t you think the Aurors would be, you know, guarding the Department of Mysteries? Especially…

Laura: Exactly. Why was no one there? And why were they able to just open a door and walk in?

Eric: Maybe all the…

Andrew: But then…

Eric: No. Wasn’t the Auror on guard in Voldemort’s circle or something?

Laura: Ummm…

Eric: One of them. He could’ve just stepped aside and let them in. I don’t know. I don’t think it’s a big issue.

Kevin: But that’s what I’m saying.

Laura: There was no one there, though.

Kevin: I was always under the impression that they had taken
preparations beforehand.

Laura: Yes.

Kevin: They had placed a couple people under a curse…

Andrew: Right. Right.

Kevin: …and made it so that come X hour, leave or get lost.

Andrew: Yeah.

Kevin: And then they can just stroll in.

Eric: Laura, are you even…

Kevin: Those people who are guarding the place are also the same people

Ben: That’s the only logical explanation.

Kevin: Yeah, I mean.

Ben: Yeah.

Laura: Yeah, I suppose.

Ben: Voldemort may have… Of course Voldemort, you know… Voldemort has insiders
in the Ministry, so he may have – probably in the Department of
Mysteries too. So, he may have had someone come on either…

Kevin: Yeah. They’re resourceful people.

Ben: Well, yeah, they are.

Kevin: It’s not like they don’t know what they’re doing.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: I don’t know about the elevator, though. Because…

Laura: Yeah, and just the fact that they were able to walk into the
Ministry like there was no – it wasn’t locked, for instance. They walked
into the phone booth and they just said, “We’re here to save Sirius,”
and it prints them off these little badges that say Rescue Mission.

Andrew: Rescue Mission.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Well, one door was locked, [laughs] and that brings us to…

Laura: Well, actually…

Andrew: No. It just seemed like the only security was when they got
into the circular room…

Eric: Well, put it this way.

Andrew: …where the doors are staying.

Eric: There’s a 100,000 people, say, work at the Ministry or
whatever or however big it is – however they choose how big it is. They
all have to get through the lobby and get where they’re going. I
approve of the idea of like a club card for getting into the Department of
Mysteries, but remember it’s also on the same floor as Department of
Mysteries. There’s what, the old chambers for trial?

Laura: The courtrooms.

Eric: And isn’t there Arthur Weasley’s office?

Laura: But they aren’t used, really, anymore.

Eric: I don’t know.

Laura: No, and Arthur’s office is not there.

Eric: It’s not there? I…

Laura: No it is not.

Eric: I’m all aflutter.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: But you’d think that – you think that even though you can still
get up there, that there’d be at least someone guarding the door.

Laura: [laughs] Exactly.

Eric: I don’t know.

Andrew: Well that’s…

Kevin: Yeah, but that’s…

Andrew: The Death Eaters would take that guy out.

Kevin: Exactly.

Why No Order Presence?

Laura: But what’s interesting to me is why didn’t the Order have anyone
there? Because we know that Arthur had been guarding that place, so
clearly they’d been taking precautions to guard the Department of

Kevin: Yeah, but I mean count how many Death Eaters were there.

Laura: Sure.

Kevin: Do you think one person would stand a chance against all those
Death Eaters?

Laura: Well, no. But still why wasn’t…

Kevin: They may have not been mentioned…

Eric: Dumbledore would.

Laura: anyone there?

Kevin: …but I’m fairly sure that there was some protection, and they
just bypassed it through either cursing the person, or…

Ben: Right. But with a place this important – it’s like when a robber
goes and sticks up a convenience store or a bank. There’s always the
button that alerts the police under the table. You know? You think…

Kevin: Yeah, but that’s what I’m saying. For…

Ben: …if someone’s getting taken out, wouldn’t they have a way to alert
other people?

Eric: Voldemort and Harry Potter both needed to get into the Department
of Mysteries. They’re the two strongest forces throughout this entire
book series. Did they really need to try?

Kevin: No, it’s not – it’s not that.

[Laura laughs]

Kevin: It’s that the people who are guarding that type of place and who have access to that
place are going to be the people they’re going to curse and have remove – have to remove the security.

Eric: Voldemort’s been concentrating on this Department of Mysteries
for the entire year. The Order knows it.

Kevin: Yeah, that’s what I’m saying.

Eric: The Order has been…

Kevin: He’s pretty resourceful.

Eric: Yeah.

Laura: So why didn’t we hear about anyone in the Order being cursed
when they were trying to protect the Department of Mysteries? That’s what
I’m saying.

Eric: That other guy was.

Laura: If anyone – I know. But if anyone had been there that night,
then we would have heard about them being cursed as well, unless they flew
the coop when they realized what was going on.

Kevin: Well you know Mr. Weasley was guarding it, right?

Laura: Yes.

Kevin: Okay. Well, what if Mr. Weasley – they obviously found Mr. Weasley
there very injured. Now the Order – not the Order, but the Ministry, goes
“What were you doing there after hours? Why were you there?” Okay? So
now they have just blown their cover, making it impossible for them to
put another person there because it’s going to get highly suspicious…

Laura: But didn’t they…

Kevin: …to the Ministry.

Eric: Kind of like…

Laura: Didn’t they cover it up?

Andrew: Yeah, didn’t Dumbledore say… Didn’t Dumbledore say they made
up an excuse for it?

Laura: Yeah, exactly.

Andrew: I’m pretty sure he did.

Laura: Because Sirius…

Kevin: Well, even then. I mean…

Eric: Even if they have an excuse, people are going to turn their eye.

Kevin: For all you know, Arthur was the only one who had the
possibility of having access to that area without suspicion.

Andrew: Right. If everyone else is sitting down there, it would look

Kevin: Exactly. So the Order probably – that was their last form of
defense, and it got blown by him getting injured.

Eric: Attacked by the snake, yeah.

Kevin: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: Good job, Arthur.

Eric: And that’s why… No, that’s not Arthur’s fault. That was
Voldemort’s plan.

Andrew: And that technically did blow their cover because Arthur
couldn’t go there again and sit down there.

Eric: That’s right, because…

Laura: Well no, obviously not him.

Kevin: So right there you have your explanation for why…

Andrew: Yeah.

Kevin: …there wasn’t an Order member there.

Andrew: Good point, Kevin, good point!

Laura: It just seems odd to me, though, that there wouldn’t be some sort of
security on it anyway. Like even when our…

Kevin: But that’s what I’m saying.

Laura: Even when Arthur was there, though. Why isn’t there some sort of
security on this place 24/7?

Eric: Well, another thing, Laura. Remember, everybody’s under the
impression that everything is sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows. Voldemort’s
not back, what do we have to protect ourselves from?

Laura: Yeah, that’s true.

Kevin: Yep.

Eric: That’s a strong mindset of everybody. Strong mindset.

Brain Room

Laura: Well, the next thing that we should probably move on to is
whenever they enter the Department of Mysteries, the first thing they come
across is the brain room. And we saw that Ron got attacked by one of the
brains when he yelled “Accio Brain,” which I found kind of amusing.
[laughs] But Madam Pomfrey said that “thoughts can leave deeper
scarring than almost anything else.” Now are we talking physically, or does
he have some kind of mental scarring? Because it doesn’t seem to me
like Jo would kind of drop that little hint for no reason.

Ben: I think it has to be mental, because…

Kevin: Yeah. Definitely.

Eric: No, it’s very physical too.

Ben: How could a thought harm you physically?

Laura: Well, no, she’s talking about how he had scars on his arms from
where they had wrapped themselves around him.

Eric: When they had wrapped around. And, yeah. It’s not just emotional

Laura: Mhm.

Eric: I think that’s very physical. Thoughts too.

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: They’re not just memories.

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: They’re thoughts trapped in the brains that had made them. It’s kind of like – if a person passes away, they have all these memories of, you know, everywhere they’ve been in their life, different life experiences.

Laura: Well, yeah. The mind’s very powerful.

Eric: But nobody can see them! How can you retrieve those thoughts?
They’re gone with that person, they’re exact things. But trapped in this brain
room, in these things, all these thoughts – maybe it’s all the hateful
thoughts that, you know? But all these thoughts are trapped in this juicy
brain that’s going to come out and lash at you, and I don’t know. She
said that it was thoughts that were attacking him, and I would think
that would have a strict physical impact too. Because have you ever had
thoughts come at you? [laughs] I mean, how would…

Laura: Well actually, a good example, a good example of it is, have
you ever heard of when people die, the…

Eric: Never heard of that.

Laura: …electricity that… [laughs] Eric!

Eric: Sorry, it was just a question.

[Kevin laughs]

Laura: When people die, it has been accounted that the electricity
released from their brains has been powerful enough to stop clocks.

Eric: So when their…

Laura: So that it stops the clock at the exact time of their death. So I think it goes
to show that thoughts could be powerful enough to physically harm someone as well as mentally. My question is, does Ron posses those thoughts now? Does he have memories from the brain that attacked him that at one time belonged to someone else?

Kevin: I doubt it.

Eric: I doubt it.

Ben: But how do we know where those brains come from? I mean…

Laura: Well, yeah. Exactly.

Ben: It seems to me like each part of the Ministry has it’s own – each
part of the Department of Mysteries studies its own things. There’s the
death, love, all of that stuff. So, what do you think they’re studying?
What do you think they’re studying – are they studying thoughts, or what are

Laura: They’re studying the mind, I believe.

Ben: Or memories, or what?

Laura: I mean, there’s a huge – the mind was a huge theme in Order
of the Phoenix
. I mean, just because of Harry’s Occlumency lessons.

Ben: And the mind is a mystery too. So…

Laura: Yeah, and Snape essentially told Harry that the mind is not…

Eric: An open book.

Laura: …a book to be opened and read at will. It’s got to be studied
very, very closely, I suppose. Differently. And I don’t know how
exactly they came across these brains, if they just yanked them out of dead
people’s heads or what.

Eric: Well, what did… [laughs] What did – crap, I forgot
my question.

Laura: What did they…

Eric: Wasn’t Ron already delusional? Wasn’t he already kind of messed up when
the brain started attacking him?

Kevin: Yeah.

Laura: Yeah, he’d been cursed by a Death Eater. And I thought that was
interesting because the reaction that he has is sort of similar to the
reaction Dumbledore has from drinking the green potion in Half-Blood
. They were both kind of delusional and out of it, and both
started saying, you know, “No, no, stop it, Harry,” and trying to get
Harry to help them, and Harry couldn’t in those scenarios.

Eric: Well, whereas nothing was attacking Dumbledore visibly, but a
brain, [laughs] a giant brain with thoughts was lashing at Ron.

Laura: It doesn’t matter, though!

Eric: It does!

Laura: It’s still facts, though.

Eric: True. It’s a brilliant parallel. I think it’s cool.

Laura: And this is why I’m kind of – I don’t know. I just kind of
wonder if Ron somehow has some sort of important memory that will play a
role in Book Seven? Something that Harry needs to know?

Eric: I don’t think that’s it at all.

Laura: Because…

Eric: You know…

Laura: Why not, though?

Eric: “Where’d you learn this, Ron?” “Oh, it was when that brain
attacked me. I learned all this stuff that I’ve just had…”

Laura: Well, no. [laughs]

Eric: “…sitting around in my head for two years.”

Kevin: Yeah. And didn’t mention it.

Eric: Yeah, I didn’t mention it.

Laura: It wouldn’t be like that. It would – but it almost seems like
there are a lot of things that happened at the end of Order of the
that we didn’t hear anything about in Half-Blood

Eric: It’s true. It’s true. But we did hear…

Ben: Like hat about the guy who turned into a baby? What kind of crap is
that? I still don’t get that.

Laura: Yeah. [laughs]

Eric: His head.

Andrew: The Death Eater? Yeah.

Eric: His head was de-aging, and then aging again. That was pretty
messed up.

Andrew: We talked about that last week.

Eric: “You can’t hurt a baby!” But no. The whole idea, and why I
brought that up is because I just think that when Ron was in the hospital
ward, he was clearly getting remedies for that curse, and I think it was
just all washed off. I think that the thoughts, all the trauma from the thoughts.

Laura: I don’t think so.

Eric: I don’t think…

Kevin: I think there would be some residue.

Laura: There was going to be something left there.

Eric: But thoughts?

Kevin: There’s got be something in his head.

Eric: You’ve got to look at the way the brain was in contact with Ron. The thoughts were burning into his skin and stuff, and lashing at him, and grabbing him; but it didn’t really do any – we didn’t see it affect his mind. He was just really under that other curse and he was really scared.

Laura: Not that we know of. [laughs]

Kevin: We don’t know; that’s a point. We don’t know of anything happening to his mind, but they alluded to it.

Laura: We only see – yeah. We only see the world through Harry’s eyes, so we can’t sit here and say, “I know what’s going on in Ron’s mind,” because it’s not from his point of view.

Eric: That’s true. I don’t know that there is much of an argument that that thing really affected him, emotionally or for a long time.

Laura: I don’t know, I just think that the mind is an exceedingly powerful thing.

Eric: Oh, yes.

Laura: It really is.

Eric: Absolutely.

Laura: And I think it’s pretty shortsighted to think that that’s – that you could be attacked by a brain like that and not have any sort of repercussions, physical or mental.

Eric: Well, he had a lot of physical repercussions. He was torn up, it was pretty dirty, but…

Laura: But we didn’t hear that much about that. That’s the thing.

Eric: Which is true.

Laura: It seemed like Madam Pomfrey was going to lengths to cure the scarring as best she could, but she said…

Ben: Well, how do you think all this is going to come full-circle, is what I want to know. I mean, how is that going to play to the…

Eric: Ummm, Ben? I hate to let you down: We don’t know. [laughs]

Ben: I know, that’s why I said how do you “think,” okay? No reason to be a smart aleck.

Eric: I don’t mean to.

Ben: I’m the wisenheimer here, okay? I’m just kidding.

[Ben and Laura laugh]

Ben: What I’m saying is, I don’t know how – think about all the stuff she has to incorporate. Something like that…

Laura: Yeah, there’s a lot.

Ben: …seems like it is going to go to the wayside just because she doesn’t have – I mean, unless it’s really pivotal. It’s interesting. What did he get from the Department of Mysteries? But the fact that it went ignored in Book Six and nothing really was carried through. You think if Ron had some thought that was essential that it would somehow get mentioned.

Andrew: Stood out?

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: It would’ve happened by now.

Laura: Well, I don’t know because if you think back on all the books, there have been tons of little things that no one thought anything of at the time. And then a couple of books later that thing becomes huge. There are probably hundreds of little clues in Half-Blood Prince that we all missed. Just little things. Little things that people have said, descriptions about the way someone looked or where someone went.

Eric: Yes, but when have we seen Ron distribute any kind of extra knowledge than he would have by being his slightly cynical self?

Laura: I don’t think – I don’t know. The thing is, I think if something like that were to happen she would try to draw attention away from it during the sixth book, because she drew attention away from the Department of Mysteries.

Eric: She drew attention away from everything.

Laura: Exactly, because there is clearly something kind of big going on. [laughs]

Eric: [laughs] There’s no doubting it’s plausible that Ron has some thoughts from this thing, I just don’t think it’s likely.

Whose Brains Are In The Brain Room?

Andrew: And whose brains get into the Brain Room?

Laura: That’s what I was going to say. If he does have someone’s thoughts, are we going to find out whose brains these are?

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Maybe they saved James’ and Lily’s brain and then…

Laura: Ewww.

Eric: …and then Ron can tell Harry where Godric’s Hollow is.

Ben: I almost think it’s like kind of the case where you have people who donate their bodies to science. Wouldn’t it be the same thing if you donate your brain?

Eric: To the Ministry of Magic? [laughs]

Ben: Yeah.

Laura: [laughs] And then they donate their bodies to be thrown into the Veil to see what happens to them, Ben?

[Kevin laughs]

Ben: Yeah.

Eric: I’m going to wear my – I’m going to get a t-shirt.

Andrew: I would.

Ben: Well, how else would they do it? Would they just randomly choose people? Or…

Andrew: [laughs] Off the street.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Ben: [laughs] Do they just say, “Your brain is mine!” and you die? Or…

[Laura and Kevin laugh]

Ben: No, it isn’t like they can…

Laura: Well, what if they take unclean bodies or something like that?

Eric: John Does of the world.

Ben: Well, that’s really pleasant.

Eric: What if you went up to…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Unclean bodies. [laughs]

Laura: Well, hey! They did that for that exhibit with all the dead bodies which I went and saw in Vegas. It was actually pretty cool.

Eric: Guys, what if you went up to anybody on the street and just said, “Accio Brain!” [laughs] What would happen?

Andrew: I don’t think their brain would…

Ben: Fly out of their head.

Kevin: Pop out of their head or their body.

Andrew: I don’t know, I don’t know.

Ben: I think they’d laugh at you.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Either way, one thing’s for certain…

Andrew: Like how people laughed at you when you walked through New York City in your cloak.

[Kevin laughs]

Eric: They didn’t laugh. They were awed, and you guys were all jealous.

Laura: Oooh, burned.

Andrew: They were awed. Right.

[Kevin and Laura laugh]

Ben: They see there is so much diversity in New York City it’s normal for them.

[Everyone laughs]

Kevin: It’s a normal thing.

Andrew: That’s true.

Eric: That’s exciting, but I’m definitely going to get a t-shirt, since we’re talking about this, that says, “I donated my brain to the Ministry of Magic because they needed one.”

Laura: That’s…nice.

Ben: You have to have a brain to donate. So…

[Kevin laughs]

Andrew: Pickle of Shame. Oooh.

Kevin: Oooh.

What Makes Eric’s Brain Worthy?

Laura: Well, Eric, Eric, what would make your brain worthy? [laughs] I’m not trying to insult you.

Eric: Of the Ministry of Magic?

[Andrew, Ben, and Laura laugh]

Eric: Perhaps it won’t be, you’re incredibly correct, Laura.

Laura: No, no, no, I’m kind of…

Eric: Maybe they would refuse it. Maybe my dying wishes would be for the Ministry to have my brain, and they wouldn’t want it…

[Laura laughs]

Eric: …and they would just throw it away.

Laura: I’m kind of alluding to what would…

Eric: Specifications?

Laura: …be the requirements? Yeah! What would…

Eric: I would think it would be anybody they could get. I mean, learned professors, obviously, they would want, like Nicholas Flamel.

Kevin: Willing to, yeah.

Eric: Maybe Nicholas Flamel? Maybe they could have asked him to donate his mind to the think tank, which is the brain bath.

Ben: Think tank. [laughs] That’s literally what it is.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: The brain thing…tub…brains.

Ben: The brain tub.

Eric: They would want to get him if they were studying the mind, but I think they would also try and get lower of minds. Perhaps like mine, just to judge the diversity of minds.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Isn’t it true you need brains of all sizes, and all shapes, and all – to do a real study?

Kevin: Yeah, but…

Andrew: To do a real study of them?

Eric: Yeah.

Laura: You need brains of all types of capacity.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Eric: Yes.

Laura: For intelligence.

Eric: That’s what I mean. But who knows? Maybe the Ministry wouldn’t want my brain.

Kevin: I would think it would be more of a…

Ben: I think that if you donated it…

Kevin: …donation kind of thing.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Because it’s not like now.

Kevin: It’s unethical to…

Ben: The unclaimed bodies…

Kevin: It’s unethical to…

Ben: The unclaimed bodies you’re talking about…

Kevin: Yeah.

Ben: …are homeless people they found dead in the alley, you know?

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, right.

Ben: The exhibit in Vegas.

Eric: Can you imagine the UPS guy? “I got a delivery of brains for C.O. Fudge.”

Laura: [laughs] Damon.

[Andrew fake laughs]

Eric: C.O. Fudge? Delivery of brains? “Just dump them in the think tank there.”

Andrew: Yeah. Yeah.

Ben: [laughs] Quit calling it the think tank.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: It’s a good name! Is that not a good name?

Ben: [laughs] That is a good name, but it sounded so goofy.

Back To The Scarring

Andrew: So, anyway, I don’t know. Back to Madam Pomfrey.

Laura: I think we’re…

Andrew: It just seemed, “Thoughts can leave deeper scarring than almost anything else.” Maybe she’s just saying in general.

Kevin: Yeah, but it’s…

Andrew: Your thoughts, your personal thoughts.

Kevin: It sort of alludes to her talking not only physical scarring.

Laura: Yeah, that’s what I’m saying.

Andrew: I just don’t see how they can transfer to your body because it’s a brain. It doesn’t really make sense.

Eric: Yeah, she didn’t really say…

Laura: It touched your body.

Andrew: So?

Laura: It’s magic, though.

Ben: Right, but see, there is something different, though – something different, though. Dumbledore stressed the importance of how death isn’t it. How if you look to the bad side, the evil side in Harry Potter, that’s what they’re concerned most about. The good side is always concerned about sacrifice, and what is the best thing that I can do to benefit humankind in general. As opposed to, I’m going to be selfish and worry about myself dying. So, it seems to me like the physical sense – it applies physically because he has the scars or whatever, but I think mentally it makes more sense because…

Kevin: It does, yeah.

Ben: …your thoughts. Look to Harry and Voldemort. Maybe she was saying something that meant a lot more than she knew, you? Because…

Laura: You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to…

Ben: …the thoughts have deeper scarring than anything else. Look at Voldemort sent those thoughts into Harry’s brain, and the next thing we know, Harry shows up at the Ministry of Magic, Sirius dies, Ron gets hurt. All these bad things happen.

Eric: Yeah. Exactly, exactly.

Ben: So, I think that is the deeper scarring happening.

Eric: When Dumbledore talks about how life – death is not the worst thing, he’s actually talking about the scarring of the soul that Voldemort’s gotten. There’s a lot of soul stuff. That’s all the references there with impartial souls.

Laura: Mhm. Well, what he’s basically saying is that Voldemort, the life that he has given himself now, is actually worse than what he’s fearing.

Eric: Oh yeah, absolutely. But the thought of thoughts is what Ben eventually said, which was, you know, my opinion, which is: The thoughts drive the mind. You said the mind was a great, big theme in Order of the Phoenix. Well, the mind controls the people and the people do the evil. The people do – they change history, and this is all about people. The mind is the most powerful thing because it drives you, and thoughts – and if you think that Mudbloods are worthless, it’s everything. It ties into literally everything. It’s untraceable where this is going.

Sidenote: Episode 60

Andrew: By the way, guys, I forgot to mention this at the beginning of the show. 60 episodes.

Laura: Oh, yeah.

Kevin: Oh, yeah. Wow.

Andrew: 60 episodes.

Eric: Not too shabby.

Andrew: Good job, boys and girls.

Eric: Not too shabby.

Andrew: No, not at all. It’s an impressive number.

Laura: I think it’s time for us to start thinking about retirement.

Andrew: Yeah.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: You have…

Andrew: Apply for Medicare in a few years.

Laura: Dentures.

[Kevin laughs]

Ben: Well, Social Security is almost gone – run out. So…

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: And we dumped our own fund on Lumos.

Andrew: Yep.

Eric: All our retirement funds were spent on going to Los Angeles.

Andrew: On Lumos. Anyway, here’s to 60 more. It’s a big number, 60.

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: Well, it’s not as big as 61.

Andrew: What have we been talking about all this time?

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: How did we come up with – You know that’s the number one thing I get asked by people who don’t listen to the show.

Ben: “What do you talk about?” Yeah, same here.

Andrew: “What do…” Exactly!

Kevin: “What do you keep talking about?” Yeah.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah. We have had a discussion every week. Whether it was Chapter-by-Chapter, or Character Discussion, or something like this.

Chapter-By-Chapter Return?

Ben: I keep getting e-mails. “Is Chapter-by-Chapter coming back? Is Chapter-by-Chapter coming back?”

Eric: Yeah, guys. Should we lay that down?

Andrew: Should we settle this?

Ben: Yeah. I think Chapter-by-Chapter should come back eventually because we’re going to run out of things to talk about and in order to – what’s the word I’m looking for – preserve the longevity of MuggleCast, we’ll need something that is going to do that.

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Eric: I don’t know. I don’t want you guys to just strategically pull it out of your pocket when we’re short on episode stuff. We did talk – we did have a meeting about this.

Andrew: Well, that’s the plan, so…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: We have been getting a lot of e-mails about this, and we haven’t really brought it up because we didn’t want to upset anyone who is really missing it. [laughs] But we did talk about this. We had a lengthy discussion about this in L.A.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Well, I had a lengthy discussion.

Laura: It was very lengthy.

Andrew: Yeah.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: We’re going to hold off on it for now. But it’ll come back. Just not right now.

Back to Discussion: The Love Room

Laura: The next room that they encountered was the Love Room, which was locked. They couldn’t get into it. How would a room contain the power of love?

Eric: [sings] It’s the power of love!

Andrew: The Black Eyed Peas song, “Where is the Love?” plays when you walk in.

Eric: [sings] Da-da-da.

Andrew: [sings] Where is the love…?

Ben: [laughs] And there’s a sign that points, “Over here.”

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: No.

[Everyone continues laughing]

Laura: So, if they open the door, would there just be [laughs] this blinding light – power of love – that would spill out of the room?

Eric: Yes!

Laura: Or is it – okay, how do you contain something like love behind a door?

Eric: Okay, think of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Have you seen the movie? Have you all seen Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark? Of course.

Laura: Yes. [laughs]

Eric: At the end of the move, the Ark of the Covenant breaks open and the big white light comes out and everybody has to – well, Indie has to close his eyes because the thing is, the sight is too holy for anybody to see it without their faces getting ripped off.

Andrew: Uh-huh.

Laura: So, you’re saying it’s so great, it’s so wonderful.

Eric: It’s – yeah. Dumbledore himself said…

Laura: [laughs] That it would rip Harry’s face off?

Eric: No, no, not Harry’s.

[Kevin and Laura laugh]

Eric: And that’s very important. But it is locked because, well, Dumbledore himself said it needs to be measured in certain quantities and it’s just of a really big magnitude or something. Dumbledore said something exactly like that about – maybe you need to see, maybe you need to wear a smoked glass mask like a welder’s mask to go into it. I mean, I don’t know, but I’m saying it’s locked because my guess…

Laura: Well, it melted Harry’s knife.

Eric: My guess is that the large majority of people would not be able to handle that room. No. As for containing the power of love in that room, I have no clue, but it is the Ministry of Magic and if a love – if a concentration of love would be somewhere intelligent for study, it should be there. I don’t know.

The Definition of Love

Laura: It just seems like how do you – people can’t even come up with a definition for love, so how do you contain it?

Ben: If you ask some high-schoolers it’s…

Eric: Well, no, I don’t think…

Ben: …you’ve been dating somebody for two days…

Laura: [sings] What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me.

Ben: And, “Oh my god, I’m so in love!”

Andrew: Yeah.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: No, exactly.

Ben: I think I love Subway more than most high-schoolers love their boyfriend or girlfriend.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: No, Laura. I think – no, you don’t need to understand what love is to contain it. That’s not…

Ben: That reminds me of a song.

Eric: That goes against science. You…

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: [sings] “I want to know what love is…”

[Eric sings guitar riff]

Ben: [sings] “…I want you to show me.”

Laura: No, shut up.

Eric: No, seriously.

[Ben laughs]

Eric: You contain things so that you can study them. You trap an insect – a lightning bug – to see what it does. It’s almost like you know how to catch it before you know what it is you have. That’s true about everything.

Laura: Okay, Eric. How do you catch love?

[Kevin laughs]

Eric: Here, lovey, lovey, lovey, lovey, lovey.

Ben: It’s like a firefly.

Eric: Here, lovey, lovey, lovely, lovey.

Andrew: Guys…

Laura: I’m sorry, but…

Ben: Love bug. Love bug.

Laura: …I just don’t see how it can all – like you can just open a door and there’s love in the air.

Eric: All I’m saying is you don’t…

Laura: [laughs] That’s kind of messed up.

Andrew: I think – you know, guys, hold on, hold on.

Eric: You don’t need to be the most educated person in the world and know all about the facets of love. You just need to know how to capture it. And a lot of people who want to capture things just need to know – learn how to catch it.

Ben: Love is… Love is… Okay, love is intangible. There is no such things as, like, “Oh look, watch guys, you caught the love bug!”

Laura: It doesn’t… This doesn’t have to relate to “love” because I know Ben was making fun of teenagers in love. But anytime in any of your lives that you have ever been attracted to somebody, did you just look at that person and say, “I think I want to be attracted to this person”? No, it just happens. It just happens out of the blue. You can’t control it. So how do you…

Ben: Well what kind of attraction are you talking? Physical or…

Laura: I’m just – I’m talking about just a general attraction, whether it be personality, appearance, whatever. You still have that kind of attraction and you can’t just capture that. You can’t just say, “I have this,” because you have no control over it. It’s the same way with love.

Ben: Like I was saying, love is intangible. It’s not like you can buy love.

Laura: [laughs] So…

Capturing Love

Eric: So, what are we talking about here?

Laura: So, what I’m saying is, Eric, you’re saying you have to know how to capture it…

Eric: No, I’m saying you don’t have to know.

Laura: …but you can’t.

Eric: I’m saying you don’t have to know.

Kevin: But what Laura’s saying is there’s nothing physical that you can actually capture…

Laura: Yeah.

Kevin: …because no one knows what you’re capturing.

Eric: Yes, but it’s magic.

Kevin: You can’t capture something that you don’t know what it is, you know what I’m saying?

Eric: Oh yeah? Voldemort knew – made all his Horcruxes.

Kevin: It’s as though the firefly – in your firefly example it’s as though the firefly was just like pure light. You can’t capture it. Every time you try to grab it, your hand goes through it because you don’t know enough about it to actually create a physical boundary on it.

Eric: True, but Voldemort created seven Horcruxes. Assumably, nobody knew how to do that before him. Maybe he invented it.

Laura: Okay, but a Horcrux is a physical thing.

Eric: Yes, but it’s things along the magic world that very few people know about. It’s the extremes of what you can do to your mortal soul. Or immortal soul, as the case may be.

Laura: Okay, but love isn’t an object.

Eric: Love is everything. Maybe love is like The Force.

[Kevin and Laura laugh]

Kevin: Eric…

Laura: God… [laughs]

Andrew: Laura, how much.. Where does it… Do you have where they talk about the Love Room in here?

Laura: [laughs] The Love Room.

Eric: They don’t talk about the Love Room, it gets mentioned and then it’s like…

Andrew: Yeah. Where it’s mentioned.

Laura: No, basically, Dumbledore said that – he didn’t specifically call it the “Love Room.”

Eric: He says, “there is a room in the Department of Mysteries that contains a force…” something.

Laura: He said, “it contains the power that you have in such great quantities that Voldemort detests.”

Eric: Yeah. “Love?”

Andrew: Ooooh…

Eric: He’s like, “Yes, essentially it’s love.”

Why is the Love Room Locked?

Laura: Okay, but here’s my question: Why is the Love Room locked?

Eric: Because, I said, a lot of people can’t handle that much love.

Laura: Okay, this isn’t Raiders or whatever, Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Kevin: Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Eric: Why is it not?

Laura: This is Harry Potter.

Eric: No, it’s the same concept.

Laura: Because!

Eric: It’s the same concept!

Laura: Okay, is Indiana Jones in these books? No.

Eric: If it’s a love…

Kevin: No, but, but, Eric…

[Laura laughs]

Kevin: Your chain of thought is flawed in the fact that if you have a door, it is meant to be opened and, therefore, you can view it – view what’s inside the room.

Eric: If you have the right equipment on.

Kevin: If they could not see – if they could not open that door without being blown away then they would put it in a box that couldn’t be opened. Period.

Eric: Well, obviously, like Pandora’s Box, but anyway…

Laura: Well, what I’m saying is, a Death Chamber was easily accessible, but a Love Room isn’t?

[Everyone laughs]

Kevin: See, that’s…

Ben: But it’s like, you can’t really bottle hate.

Laura: [laughs] I feel so bad calling it the “Love Room.”

Andrew: Dumbeldore always emphasizes the power of Lily’s love for him.

Laura: Exactly.

Andrew: So, okay. So if love has a lot of power…

Eric: Certain people could open that door.

Andrew: …maybe it just shouldn’t be opened. Maybe there’s…

Eric: No, certain people could open that door. But, do you guys agree with me? If Voldemort opened the love door, would he not get blown away? Would he be able to walk into the Love Room?

Ben: I don’t think he could open the love door.

Eric: You don’t think anybody can? Why is it that people are studying it? Dumbledore said it was being studied.

The Effect of the Love Room

Laura: Something that I noticed was that no one else really seemed to be affected by the love door, but Ron was. It said that he was – let me look here.

Eric: Ron?

Laura: Yeah, Ron was. I put it in here somewhere, hang on. It says Ron “looked at it with a mixture of longing and apprehension which no one else seemed to feel.” So, why was it that Ron – he kept saying stuff like, “are you sure we shouldn’t look in there? Are you sure we shouldn’t try?” or whatever. And no one else really seemed to have – it didn’t have that effect on everyone. It was kind of…

Eric: Maybe it’s…

Laura: It was almost similar to the effect that the Veil had on Harry, Ginny, Luna, and Neville.

Eric: Maybe the Love Room is actually the room of brotherly love and nobody has as many brothers as Ron.

Andrew and Kevin: No. [both laugh]

Eric: Except Ginny.

Andrew: Bad.

Laura: Ummm…

Andrew: Bad.

Eric: Maybe he wants Percy back. Maybe Percy’s on the other side.

Laura: No, maybe Hermione was just right next to him in the room.

Eric: That’s where Percy is all of Book Six!

Andrew: This isn’t getting anywhere, so let’s move on.

Who Can Open The Door?

Laura: No, but what I was saying was, Eric mentioned maybe specific people being able to open the door.

Eric: I don’t mean specific people, necessarily, but, like, the trained Unspeakable…

Laura: But what if, for instance…

Eric: …who are in the Department of Mysteries, who are the aficionados for opening that kind of door, viewing that kind of thing, and studying it.

Laura: Okay.

Eric: Like, you need to have a safe environment for work.

Laura: Well, I’m sure, but for instance, it just strikes me as kind of funny that Harry couldn’t open this door that possesses the same kind of power as he does. Now, you brought up certain people being able to open it and Ron didn’t actually try, so what if he could? What if that was, like, explains the attraction that he felt towards it because he would somehow be able to open it.

Ben: [sings] “Close the door…”

Eric: Even if he would be able to open it, I’m pretty sure it would have burned off the faces of everybody else who wasn’t qualified to open it.

[Kevin laughs]

Eric: I’m dead serious.

Laura: Okay, I’m pretty sure this isn’t Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Eric: Okay, but…

Kevin: I’m pretty sure that’s not the case.

Eric: But Harry put his…what…Sirius’ key thing…key changer…lock changer…knife…

Andrew: Knife.

Laura: The knife.

Eric: …into the door and it melted. So there’s only one key for that. I think it’s not necessarily even who can open the door.

Laura: Okay…

Andrew: Maybe someone was… [laughs] Hey, guys, maybe someone was cooking something up in there, if you know what I’m saying?

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Because it melted. It’s pretty hot.

Eric: Cooking up some love.

Laura: [laughs] That was kind of creepy.

Andrew: Cooking up some love, yeah?

Eric: The ‘shippers. Hey, I wonder how many fanfics have taken place in the Love Room.

Laura: How many what?

Eric: No, they originate in the Lust Room, never mind. Fanfiction.

Ben: [laughs] The Lust Room.

[Andrew laughs]

Kevin: Oh god.

Laura: Oh my god…

Ben: But at the same time it’s like death. There’s a Death Room. When you open it up, you’re not going to – or if there’s a Hate Room.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: There’s a room devoted to death, where you go after…

Ben: It isn’t like you can bottle hate, I mean.

Andrew: Right.

Ben: You can bottle potions.

Eric: You can bottle fame, brew glory…


Andrew: [laughs] So, about those prophecies.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: 2007.

Andrew: …dot org.

Laura: That was a really crappy entrance. [laughs]

Eric: No, I like that.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: I think that’s the best transition we’ve ever had.

Laura: Okay. We’ve talked about prophecies at length on the show before so I don’t really think we should focus on them for too long. But does anyone think that any other prophecy, aside from Harry’s, is going to play a role in Book Seven?

Ben: Yes. There’s one prophecy where it has an old woman – or an old man and a woman who says, “The solstice will come anew”.

Laura: Those were actually two different prophecies.

Ben: Okay. Two different prophecies, then. “The solstice will come anew,” and “none will come after.” Those two prophecies, like those two lines, were italicized.

Laura: Yeah. They were definitely emphasized. I think they were important.

Eric: Oh! Which lines are these? I missed these.

Laura: You missed something, Eric?

Kevin: Uh-oh.

Eric: No, I didn’t. I didn’t but I’ve been out of the room for a couple episodes so I’m kind of like – what was the second prophecy? That the new will come anew and the new will be not new?

Laura: There was – whenever they smashed some of the prophecies to escape, Harry specifically heard…

Eric: This wasn’t part of the original prophecy. The “none can live when the other survives.”

Laura: No.

Andrew: No. This is a separate prophecy. This is when they were in the Hall of Prophecies.

Laura: You remember when they were stupefying everything to escape, or reducto, whatever they were using?

Andrew: One fell and it opened and it said, “Solstice anew…”

Laura: It said, “At the solstice will come anew.” And then another one broke and then it was a woman saying, “and none will come after.”

Eric: Oh, no. That’s a joke. Because at the solstice…

Laura: What?

Eric: …there came a new. The fifth Harry Potter book came at the solstice. June 21, 2003.

Laura: Okay, but…

Andrew: It’s kind of funny, actually.

Ben: Yeah. I actually freaked out about that. I e-mailed Emerson.

Eric: It’s Book Five that it even says it in. That’s a joke about the book itself.

Laura: I don’t think so.

Eric: That’s an inside joke.

Andrew: [laughs] No, it’s not an inside joke.

Ben: Yeah. Jo’s slapping her knee about that one.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Eric: And there will be seven… And there will be seven and none will come after.

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: What are you – okay, Eric. You are one of the…

Andrew: Well actually, that’s kind of interesting. [laughs]

Laura: Eric, you are one of the biggest… Oh my god.

Eric: That’s a Crackpot Theory.

Andrew: Maybe it’s a little Easter egg she left for us.

Eric: A little Easter egg.

Andrew: A little Easter egg.

Eric: Jo does those.

Andrew: Happy Easter!

Eric: I can buy that.

Repercussion For Breaking Prophecies

Laura: Do you guys think – speaking of smashing prophecies – do you think there are any possible repercussions of them breaking all those prophecies? Are those the only records that are left?

Eric: No.

Kevin: No, because I would assume that they were all cataloged, right? They said that they were in, like, an organized system.

Laura: Well…

Eric: Well, actually…

Laura: Yeah, that’s what it was.

Andrew: Right.

Laura: They broke them.

Kevin: So, assuming they’re cataloged, then you would assume that there was some sort of record as to what they said.

Eric: Then again. But, no. No, no, no, no, no. You can’t record.

Andrew: It says in Order of the Phoenix that those were just for the record, or what does it say, Laura?

Eric: But you can’t record what was said..

Laura: Well, those are for the – yeah. Those are only for the record of the Department of Mysteries.

Andrew: Right.

Laura: And the only other people that know what was said were the people who were present and the people who said them.

Eric: Right. Because the Ministry can…

Laura: So, if those people are dead, then that prophecy’s lost.

Andrew: Oooh, I thought…

Kevin: Yep. You’re right.

Eric: Yeah, it is, because the Ministry themselves can’t even hear the prophecies they’re keeping. so I don’t think that there are that many…

Andrew: Are you sure they’re not logged somewhere else?

Laura: This isn’t MuggleNet. No. [laughs] They’re not logged somewhere else. [laughs] What would be the point? I mean, prophecies have…

Andrew: A book.

Laura: No, they have to be protected, though. Especially ones like Harry’s.

Eric: Yeah, but I don’t think there’s any repercussions.

Laura: You can’t just have multiple prophecies lying around; multiple records of them for people to just run across.

Eric: Well, the only people…

Andrew: No, I know that but I thought, maybe I’m getting it confused with what you said.

How Are The Prophecies Catalogued?

Eric: Guys, the only people that can hear retrieve the prophecy from those little glass balls, the spheres, where the people that it was made about or whatever.

Andrew: Right. Yes.

Eric: So, the Ministry, even though they’re cataloging, like, who can open each ball or hear something from it, however – we don’t even know how that’s done – extracting the actual prophecy from the thing. I don’t think they are any repercussions for actually destroying them, considering how likely is it. And, you know, most of the prophecies don’t even come true, which is the other thing, and then the ones that do, like, how exactly do you arrange for an appointment inside the Department of Mysteries to hear your own prophecy? I think, you know, what are they for to begin with? What is the point of keeping that room of the Hall of Prophecies? What is that for, considering the Ministry can’t hear a darn thing that’s in them. And you can’t – it doesn’t seem to be very easy to go in and find out what it’s saying for yourself.

Andrew: It’s for the record, first of all.

Eric: For the record? They can’t even record what was recorded. What was said.

Andrew: It’s written on the prophecy or something, isn’t it?

Eric: They say something’s made to somebody else, you know? It’s made by Sybil, something something, Trelawney to Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.

Andrew: Right.

Eric: And that’s all it says, but it doesn’t say what it is unless you smash it.

Andrew: Yes it does!

Eric: Unless you smash it…

Andrew: No.

Eric: …you cannot hear it unless you smash it. And even then you have to…

Laura: Well, that’s the only method we’ve seen.

Eric: No, but the only people who can remove the prophecy…

Andrew: Okay, in the book…

Eric: The only people who can remove the prophecy from the shelf are the people it was made about.

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: But I wonder about the people who are storing it there. How’d they get it there? I don’t know.

Andrew: Okay. On the prophecy is says, and Ron saw it, too, “SPT to APWBD. Dark Lord and Harry Potter.”

Eric: Oh.

Laura: Yeah. That’s all it says. It doesn’t say the whole prophecy.

Andrew: Well, no.

Eric: Oh.

Andrew: Eric, Eric, Eric said it only just said who it’s from and to. So, take that, Eric.

Eric: Oh. No, okay, so…

Andrew: I just saved us 50 complaint e-mails.

[Ben laughs]

Eric: You’re welcome.

Kevin: Yeah, but you would assume that description came from the person who actually created the record of the prophecy.

Eric: Maybe they can touch it.

Kevin: Like Dumbledore said, “Hey, this is the prophecy concerning Dark Lord and Harry Potter. Store for me.”

Eric: And that… Well, maybe… Well, we know, thanks to… Well, Voldemort says the only people who are able to remove it from the shelf once it’s on there is the people it was made about, or to, or about, actually, people it concerns.

Andrew: “When he grabbed it, it felt as though it had been lying in the sun for hours, as though the glow of the light within was warming it.” Just a little tidbit there.

Eric: I’ve read that line in fanfiction many times. And, so, anyway…

Andrew: Okay. That’s uncalled for.

Eric: No, listen.

Andrew: This is a G-rated show.

[Kevin laughs]

Eric: You know, I guess since they know it about and you proved me wrong, Andrew, about that. Since they know what it regards, I guess the person who made the record of the prophecy is able to touch the prophecy and place it on the shelf. But, I don’t know. We don’t know anything about the storage of them except the only people that can remove it are the people it was made about, or recorded to have been made about, and that’s it. I would just hate to be the sound guy putting in that sound of smashing glass on the 10 million digital glass spheres that are going go off in the fifth movie.

Laura: What?

Andrew: [sighs] Well, that’s what they’re paid for, Eric, so I don’t think it should be much of a problem there.

Eric: Yeah, that is what they’re paid for. They make a hundred times more than what we’ll ever make.

Andrew: That’s right. That’s right.

Planet Room

Laura: Planets! Let’s take about planets. If you’ll remember Ron, Ginny, and Luna all ended up in a Planet Room.

Eric: Yeah. Do you think Pluto was a planet in that room? Did anybody see Pluto? Was Pluto mentioned? Because I’m interested in if JKR thinks Pluto’s a planet.

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: Well, no, no, no. You know what I thought was funny that Luna mentioned that she blew up Pluto, which I thought was kind of nerdily funny.

Andrew: Oh. That’s kind of ironic because it’s not a planet anymore.

Laura: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] So, anyway, what’s being studied in the Planet Room? Maybe the…

Eric: Uranus.

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Oh, that’s so funny! Not.

Eric: Thank you. Goodnight

Kevin: I mean, we know that the planets do have some, like the alignment of the planets…

Andrew: Right.

Kevin: …do have some effect on showing what’s to come. So, I would assume that they’re trying to study the positions and current state of things.

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: Kevin, can you explain the String Theory as it applies to Astronomy?

Kevin: No. I am not explaining the String Theory.

Eric: But it’s good. It’s good.

Kevin: Oh, yeah, it’s good, but it is not something to be explained on a Harry Potter podcast.

Eric: Right, right, right.

Ben: You don’t even understand it.

Eric: But I knew you could, so I thought I’d ask.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: But Google or Wiki the String Theory, if you’re interested. Many people have speculated that the alignment of the planets has a lot to do with Earth itself and gravity and Earth turning and…

Kevin: Yeah. Its just concerning, essentially concerning, where gravity actually comes from, because gravity is a force, but what actually is a force? It’s just…

Eric: And what started it.

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] String Theory is a model of fundamental Physics, whose building blocks are one dimensional extended objects.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Ben: [laughs] So, whatever the hell that means.

Eric: No. Seriously, though, you know if Earth stopped turning we’d all go flying through the wall at approximately 100,000 kilometers per second.

Laura: Yes.

Andrew: That’d stink.

Eric: That would really stink. Time would go on, but…

Andrew: So, to me, a Planet Room in the Department of Mysteries. Like in Professor Trelawney’s class there’s always the question of, you know, “or the alignment of the planets, it foretells your future.” Maybe that’s what they’re studying.

Kevin: Yeah. That’s what I thought. Absolutely.

Eric: Yeah, but Firenze pretty much said that was crap.

Andrew: He did, but how accurate are their thoughts about all this? Because he was downplaying everything Trelawney was bringing up.

Eric: Yeah, well, Firenze himself said that the stars had been read wrongly by centaurs, too. So…

Andrew: Right.

Eric: …I don’t think anybody…

Andrew: So, nobody really knows.

Eric: It doesn’t seem like the Planet Room would do much good.

Kevin: Yeah, but…

Eric: Maybe it might.

Kevin: I mean it’s…

Andrew: Well, they’re trying.

Kevin: Yeah, of course.

Eric: Well, like…

Eric: It’s one thing that they may not ever understand but they’re trying to understand it.

Eric: These departments – and it’s interesting talking about these department – but I don’t know that we’ll ever get knowledge of what the Ministry wizards have learned from these planets, considering they’re kind of just there for show, in a way. But, you know…

Laura: Who would they show them to?

Eric: …it’s cool to have a Planet Room.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Yeah, well it’s cool to see…

Laura: I don’t think they’re there for show.

Eric: It would be great to ask JK Rowling, “Hey, what have these scientists uncovered about planets in this room?” But it’s not written. You know, it’s not written. The room is there, but Jo couldn’t tell us about a meteor that’s actually coming towards us or anything like that, based on the studies of these wizards. What I’m saying is, this room is… But we wouldn’t like…

[Kevin laughs]

Eric: We could hear theories on what’s in the love room. But beyond that, you know. She wrote it. And it’s a matter of, yes, there’s a planet room, but does that mean that they actually know stuff, and that that’s going to come into play in the books?

Seven Doors Remain

Laura: Yeah, okay, speaking of rooms, I thought it was interesting, because as I was rereading these chapters, I noticed that there are obviously twelve doors in the circular room, and they went through five of them…

Eric: Oh my god.

Laura: Which leaves guess how many that we don’t know about?

Andrew: Six.

Laura: Seven.

Eric: Seven.

Laura: That wonderful…

Eric: Yeah. Twelve minus five is six, and Andrew’s shrinking into the woodwork.

Laura: Seven. So, what I thought was kind of interesting though, and it’s not really important, I guess, but all of the rooms that they were in were kind of connected. Like, the brain room led directly into the Death Chamber.

Eric: You think about death.

Laura: Yeah, the Time room led into the Hall of Prophecy. And the planet Room must have also been accessible from the Hall of Prophecy, because Ron, Ginny and Luna ran in the opposite direction of Harry, Hermione and Neville.

Eric: To me, it makes sense for time and space…

Laura: Well, exactly.

Eric: …to lead to death.

Laura: Well, what I’m saying is, it’s all kind of connected the way every aspect of your life is connected.

Eric: So, are we to assume that those twelve doors and twelve rooms…

Laura: …are all connected.

Eric: Presumably are the twelve aspects of life? As we know it?

Laura: Well, not necessarily the aspects of life.

Ben: Oh yeah, planets are an aspect of life.

Eric: Well, love and death, love and death, and space and time. Time, space, love, death. How many more are there?

Laura: But I mean, obviously we didn’t see everything that the Department of Mysteries had to show. And there are obviously seven doors left. Do you think we’re going to find out what’s behind them?

Kevin: I don’t think so.

Laura: How Harry’s going to kill Voldemort? [laughs]

Eric: How Harry knows where Godric’s Hollow is.

Kevin: The Voldemort Room.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Yeah, hey, there should be tyrannical…

Kevin: Like the remains of his previous bodies.

Eric: Or the Darkness Room.

Laura: Well, we can assume that one of those doors leads directly into the Planet Room, which would take us down to six.

Eric: That’s true.

Laura: Just… I don’t know. I’m… You guys all know that.

Kevin: I think that she touched on the rooms that she wanted to describe.

Eric: Yeah, that’s exactly what I was saying about the planets.

Kevin: And although we may see them in passing, I don’t think they’re going to play a huge role in the events.

Laura: See, I don’t know, you guys.

Andrew: Maybe there’s a Break Room…

Laura: Funny.

Eric: You kind of missed the point, where JK can just go…

Kevin: Were you thinking that she’s going to…

Andrew: A bathroom! You’ve got to have a bathroom down there.

Laura: Yeah, that is a big part of life, isn’t it?

Andrew [laughs] Yeah.

Eric: You know they call the toilet the Think Tank.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Maybe that’s what scarred Ron. It was the… Never mind.

Laura: Ugh, no. Let’s not go there. I don’t know, you guys know how I feel about the Department of Mysteries.

Andrew: The Love Room.

Harry’s Return to the Department of Mysteries

Laura: [laughs] You guys know how I feel about the Department of Mysteries.

Andrew: I don’t know, how do you feel?

Laura: Shut up! I’ve been stressing it since last year that I think that Harry’s…

Andrew: Okay, sorry, new listeners, you don’t get to know how Laura feels because she can’t be bothered to explain.

Laura: Okay, I am explaining, Andrew Sims.

Andrew: Sorry, listeners. We’re just suppose to all guess, because we’re all new listeners. It’s okay Laura, don’t worry
about it.

Eric: To be fair to Laura, Andrew. To be fair to Laura…

Laura: [laughs] No, as I was about to explain before I was so rudely interrupted by this New Jersey kid.

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: I think the Department of Mysteries is extremely important and I think that Harry’s going to go back and learn a lot about it. I’ve said it multiple times. I think we’re…

Eric: How’s he going to get in?

Laura: Well…

Eric: They wanted him to be the spokesman…

Laura: What the hell. [laughs] He already got in once before.

Kevin: No, it’s not only that, Eric. I think that the Ministry’s going to treat Harry slightly differently now that they know that Voldemort is back.

Laura: Yeah, exactly.

Kevin: For sure.

Eric: I think people inside the Ministry …

Andrew: I don’t know if that still gives him a reason to go into the Department of Mysteries, though.

Kevin: I think if he wants to see the Department of Mysteries, all he has to do is walk right up to it and go, “Hey, I need to see in there, because it pertains to Voldemort.”

Eric: I don’t think Scrimgeour’s going to let him in.

Andrew: Yeah, I don’t…

Kevin: I see him having pretty much free reign.

Laura: Yeah. I think that Harry’s…

Eric: Well, if he…

Andrew: No. No.

Laura: I seriously think that Harry’s – I think that Harry’s battle with the Ministry is over.

Kevin: I do too.

Laura: I really think it is.

Eric: Well, still, there will be politicians that hate him, like Lucius Malfoy and Rufus Scrimgeour.

Andrew: Of course, but they don’t have any power.

Eric: I think the general people will – and if they see him coming into work, even if it is to go to the Department of Mysteries, him being there at the Ministry is kind of doing what the Ministry wants of Harry anyway.

Laura: Exactly.

Andrew: Well, yeah, but I think the only reason they would let him in is because they know he could raise a fuss and get something printed in the Daily Prophet, maybe, or something like that.

Eric: Which is true.

Kevin: He has a lot of power. Essentially.

Eric: He does.

Kevin: Over …

Eric: The political state of things.

Laura: Harry has tons of power over the Ministry now.

Eric: Oh, that’s interesting. The power that he now has not based on how he has matured as a wizard but just how he is viewed in society – that power has grown dramatically since Voldemort’s been back.

Laura: Well, yeah.

Kevin: Right.

Laura: Because he’s the only one that can kill Voldemort.

Eric: No, well, yeah, but Andrew said that. If Harry says something in the paper, not that the paper prints anything because the Ministry leans on it, but that’s okay.

Andrew: Go back to the Quibbler.

Laura: Yeah, but as you’ll remember…

Eric: Yeah, oh, well exactly.

Laura: …The Daily Prophet started printing articles about the truth at the end of Order of the Phoenix.

Andrew: Yes.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: What do you mean, the one that said Voldemort is back?

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: Well, of course they had to. Well, they sort of had to.

Laura: Yeah, but see now, now everyone has to listen to Harry because they looked like complete idiots.

Andrew: That’s true.

Eric: And nobody wants to look like an idiot. I feel like debating something.

Kevin: I feel like leaving.

Andrew: Kevin has to go everyone, so everyone say bye to Kevin.

Laura: Bye Kevin!

Eric: Bye Kevin!

Kevin: Good bye, everyone.

Andrew: Oh no, but wait a second, letting him back into the Department of Mysteries, I don’t think they will. Because, he would have to provide a valid excuse.

Laura: I don’t think it matters. I think that whether they let him in or not, I think he’s going to go. I think that he’d break in if that’s what it took.

Eric: I think he can go. I think he’d be able to go. I think he should go. I think that people will let him in if they see him, but I don’t – I hope Harry becomes the kind of person that cares a lot about studying what’s in that room. He might bring Hermione in with him. He might ask…

Laura: No.

Eric: I don’t know, do you think Harry could actually talk face to face with the people – the Unspeakables who are actually in the Department of Mysteries? Maybe they’ll be slightly more speakable about what they’ve learned?

Was Lily an Unspeakable?

Laura: I don’t know. I still kind of wonder if Lily was an Unspeakable. There’s really no support behind that, but it would be interesting.

Eric: Well, because nobody’s talking about it.

Andrew: And because there’s not much reason.

Eric: Yes, that was a joke.

Laura: Yeah, there’s no reason behind it, but I think it would make sense, just because Jo said that one of them would have to have a high paying career. And she said that their employment was kind of important.

Eric: I don’t know, maybe it was James…

Laura: I don’t think so.

Eric: And he went back in time and gave himself a penny in the time room or he gave himself a Knut and he then he went back in time and got the Knut and gave himself a Knut and got the Knut and that’s how Harry has the fortune.

Andrew: So, I think that wraps up our discussion on the Department of Mysteries.

Laura: Yeah, it was a good, three-piece…

Andrew: Thing.

Laura: …thing. [laughs]

Andrew: Thinger.

Eric: Three-piece suit.

Andrew: Laura, you’ve been wanting to talk about it for a while.

Ben: What’s next, Laura, Laura, what’s next?

Laura: What do you mean, what’s next?

Andrew: For discussion. I like this series thing.

Laura: In case… I don’t know, should we do series? Series discussions?

Listener Rebuttal – Laura Mallory

Andrew: Well, sometimes, not all the time. We have a couple emails now, couple more e-mails. Christina, 16, of Canada writes: “Hey MuggleCasters, this rebuttal’s for Jamie. On episode 59…”

Ben: Oh good, he’s not even here.

Andrew: I know. [laughs]

“On episode 59, he said that people are curious about the things that they hate. Sorry, Jamie, but there is living proof that what he said is not true. She lives in Georgia. If people are really curious about things they hate, then why doesn’t Mrs. Mallory pick up a Harry Potter book and actually read it?”

Whoa, snap, Christina. Mmmm, girl.

Laura: I don’t think so. Okay, because the truth about Laura Mallory is she has picked up a Harry Potter book. She has skimmed them, but she hasn’t actually read them. She was curious enough about them to actually open them up and look at them. I think that people are curious about the things they hate. How many times…

Eric: I think people are afraid of things they hate.

Laura: Okay. I’m going to and it’s true…

Andrew: When’s the next hearing, Laura?

Laura: I don’t know, they haven’t scheduled it. But for instance, you know…

Andrew: Okay, we’re done talking about Laura Mallory.

Laura: That every… No!

Andrew: It was a quick email I wanted to read.

Laura: No, okay, what I’m saying is that every single person who listens to the show, for instance, has gone out and searched for a person that they hate on MySpace, because they’re curious about what that person’s MySpace looks like.

Ben: You know what’s a good idea?

Eric: I think…

Ben: I think if Laura Mallory stirs up any more trouble or stuff, what we’re going to do, is
give out her phone number and encourage every single visitor to call her.

MuggleCast Dating Service

Andrew: Ooh. That would be pretty good. I like that idea. I finally have a MuggleCast Dating Service update. Finally got one. We put these two together and we’re really happy about it. Actually, I’m completely making that up. I haven’t put any two together. It’s a very messy business, trying to put people together. But, we got this email the other day…

Ben: Don’t you think the MuggleCast Dating Service is responsible for John Noe and Kelly, don’t you feel so?

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Oh, actually, I would agree with that statement, yes. We got this email the other day from Chris, 15 from Arkansas. He writes about his dating service success story. So.

“I didn’t use the actual dating service, but I just got my first girlfriend in five years, because she was listening to her iPod when she came outside as I was playing basketball. I asked her what she was listening to, and she said… MuggleCast.”

Laura: PotterCast.

Andrew: No. MuggleCast.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: “That was when we clicked, and started talking about Harry Potter, among other things like football, baseball, cross country. She’s a runner. She’s the first person I’ve met in my town that listens to MuggleCast, and she’s smoking hot [laughs] too. I’ve finally found someone that’s smart – not quite as smart as me, but it will work.

[Ben laughs]

Laura: Whoa!

Andrew: “I have a 4.2, she has a 3.8.”

Laura: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!. That’s terrible!

Eric: Whoa. Whoa! How do you compare your girl’s intelligence to yours?

Andrew: Okay. Let’s keep going. Let’s keep going here. Let’s keep going here. Let’s keep going.

“As for personality, we talk on the phone for hours without – we talk on the phone for end.


“We talk on the phone for…”

Laura: Hours on end.

Andrew: “…hours on end. We talk on the phone for hours on end without boredom. She’s athletic, so I’m okay in that department, as I said she runs cross country and I play baseball for my high school team, and is beautiful.”

Now, wait a second. Doesn’t smoking hot and beautiful – never mind.

“That combination is nearly impossible to come across in high school. I’m about the only person that is a geek and jock at the same time, so it’s very nice to have someone like that move in next door, because everyone is either one extreme or the other, but, but, but her landlord was being a bully and called the new landlord and got her kicked out, so now she’s going to a different school, but it’s all right.”

So there you go, guys. Next time you see someone random in the hallway, ask them what they’re listening to because it could, very well, be MuggleCast.

Eric: It must have been.. It must have been that 3.8 grade point average that got her kicked out of school.

[Ben laughs]

Laura: Yeah, I wouldn’t…

Eric: He’s got a 4.2, so he’s safe.

Laura: Advice to guys out there, don’t say you’re smarter than your girlfriends. It’s not a good idea.

Eric: Yeah, she listens to MuggleCast, dude. It’s not like she wouldn’t find out.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: Yeah, so e-mail us next week and let us know how the breakup goes.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs] Okay, there’s your success story.

Laura: MuggleCast breakups.

Ben: Break up with him, okay? You hear me? What’s her name? Do you know her name? Did he say her name?

Andrew: No. I knew it, but it was on her MySpace.

Ben: Well, anyway, you know what? Break up with him. You are too good for him, okay? He obviously does not appreciate you.

Eric: Yeah, he may be a jock and a geek at the same time, but do you really want both ends of the spectrum.

Andrew: I think it’s terrible you guys are talking him out of it, and I don’t appreciate that kind of attitude you guys are sharing here on the show.

Eric: Sorry.

Andrew: And we’re going to have a talk after – we haven’t finished recording.

Ben: Unhappy with what?

Andrew: The attitude you’re bringing to the show. I don’t appreciate it.

Eric: Because we have such an excellent track record with this whole dating service.

Andrew: Yeah [Laughs]

Debate: Decree For The Restriction of Underage Wizardry

Andrew: Okay, so anyway, guys, it’s time that we have another debate.

Ben: Another debate.

Andrew: We did one of these – We did one of these a few weeks ago.

Eric: That’s debatable, Andrew.

[Andrew laughs and rings bell]

Andrew: We did one of these a few weeks ago, and we got a lot of great feedback about it, and then we didn’t do another one. We had planned to, but we just didn’t, so we’re doing another one now. Go ahead, Ben.

Ben: I’ll take over here. Okay. Reminder. Quick reminder about the format. Each side, the affirmative and the negative, or the pro and the con, each gets two minutes to present their case over the topic, and this week’s topic is: In times of war, the Wizarding world should lift the Decree For the Restriction of Underage Wizardry. Okay? On…

Eric: I would like to go first…

[Laura laughs]

Ben: Andrew and Laura are saying they should not lift the restriction, and Eric is on his own side, he’s bidding by himself. So if he pulls this out, it’s a miracle, folks, because…

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: …he has one mind working against two.

Laura: I think either way, Andrew and I look really bad.

Andrew: Yeah. [Laughs]

Ben: So, just a reminder here: We have two minutes – each side gets two minutes to present their case, then there will be about five minutes of discussion, then they each get a minute to sum up their position.

Andrew: I just want to say something first. The one big piece of feedback we got about this segment was that it sounds like we’re yelling at each other. We don’t – it sounds like we don’t like each other.

Laura: That’s debate.

Andrew: Yeah, we don’t actually. If it sounds like we’re getting angry with each other – which we shouldn’t…

Laura: Well…

Ben: We’re just passionate about what we do, okay? That’s all it is.

Andrew: Right. We still love each other. It’s – don’t take it seriously.

Ben: And one other thing. One other thing you should remember: there will be a poll on MuggleCast.com; vote for who you think the winners are. My vote – I’ll decide who I think won at the end of the debate – my vote counts for 25 percent of the vote, but remember do not side with me just because I’m Ben Schoen. Vote for whoever you think won, okay?

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Ben: No, seriously. Last week, last time, there were some people who were angry because they thought that the only reason Jamie and I won was because Andrew voted for us.

Laura: Okay.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Ben: Which was obviously not true because we stomped them.

Laura: Oh, yes.

Ben: So vote for, honestly, whoever you think won.

Andrew: We never said that on the last – we never said – announced on the show who won the last time. It was Jamie and Ben.

Laura: Yeah.

Ben: You me and Jamie.

Laura: Laura and Eric.

Andrew: By popular vote, too, so it wasn’t even…

Ben: We got about a two-thirds of the vote – the fan vote – plus Andrew’s 25 percent, so yeah. We won. Okay so now lets get things started. Andrew and Laura. No, actually, hold on a second. Actually, the affirmative has to start first.

Eric: They should lift it. First of all, my main problem with it – the Decree of Underage Wizardry – is that it’s crap. It’s complete, complete crap. Even when not in war, they should completely abolish this rule, this law. It does nothing. It does absolutely nothing but protect people or rather, hurt the people that don’t deserve it. Harry didn’t even use the Hover Charm that Dobby did, and he got slagged for it, and it was held against him in the large Wizengamot trials later on when it was just complete crap. Harry didn’t do a charm in his house, but just because he doesn’t happen to live with magical relatives under their house, he gets all this flak for magic being done in his house in front of Muggles. Anybody who’s anybody could walk in to his house and do magic, and he would get in trouble for it, and I don’t think that’s fair at all. Now, on the other hand, if you live in a Wizarding home like the Weasleys, you can play Quidditch every other weekend out in your back yard with poles and brooms and you can have such a more fruitful life, rather, living with magic. I really feel bad for people who don’t live in wizarding houses, because they have to figure everything out once they get to Hogwarts, whereas the Wizarding community, you know, oh, it’s the parents’ responsibility to make sure the kids don’t do anything. Yeah, bull crap. The parents will be teaching their kids everything they know, just like that’s how regular parenting takes place. So, my final reasons for the Restriction Of Underage Wizardry being lifted is that in times of war, especially, it will be very hard to track everything – hang on. Are you guys still on? Okay, because somebody jumped out. All right. In times of Wizarding war it would be even harder to track that kind of thing. Who’s going to be in whose houses? Everyone is going to be hiding. It doesn’t work to begin with, it’s a flawed system; just leave it as it is, and that’s pretty much it. Just leave it. It’s absolute crap and it punishes the wrong people for the wrong reasons, and now that it’s wartime, you just got to get rid of it.

Ben: Okay. Now, the negative, you have two minutes to respond.

Laura: There are concrete reasons as to why the Ban on Underage Wizardry shouldn’t be lifted, and the first of which is that it can seriously compromise the ability to detect other illegal magic going on. Say if the Ministry is trying to keep tabs on what all is going on magically, 1,000 underage wizards casting spells to their heart’s content could clog the system, as it were, making Ministry and Order response much less effective. Eric mentioned that child safety should be considered, and he’s right. However, I think it’s important to remind ourselves that students are already allowed to defend themselves. The Decree for the Restriction of Underage Wizardry specifies that underage wizards are allowed to use magic in cases where defense is required, not to mention, if you’re having a bunch of untrained wizards running around casting magic spells that they don’t quite know how to use, you can end up causing a lot more harm, because people could get hurt.

Andrew: Eric’s only real point there is that it’s crap that you would be able to – that you should keep it on because it just doesn’t make sense. If you were to remove this ban, it would be mayhem. That’s what it comes down to. It would just be mayhem.

Laura: Well, not to mention…

Andrew: Just think of the bad kids who would be able to go out and do some – cause some disaster in their local Muggle neighborhood, and they wouldn’t be able to get in trouble for that? I mean, under some rule they might. They might.

Laura: Well, I mean when you think about it, it’s not like the average student could defend themselves from a Death Eater or Voldemort himself, anyhow. So, isn’t it better to keep things the way they are in terms of students continuing their educations in a safe environment where magic is regulated?

Eric: Three, two, one.

Ben: Okay, now five minutes. Well, let’s say about… Yeah, until I say stop. Roughly five minutes of crossfire here.

Laura: All right, Eric, one of the first examples you cited was that children in Wizarding homes can perform magic. I don’t think that’s necessarily true. You, for instance, said that they can play Quidditch, well that isn’t necessarily performing magic when you play Quidditch. The objects themselves are magical. So, it’s not like, by the Weasley children playing Quidditch, they’re breaking the Decree for Underage Wizardry and not getting in trouble for it.

Eric: They’re certainly breaking, or infringing upon the Muggle protection act.

Laura: No, they’re not!

Andrew: How?

Eric: They’re making themselves seen by…

Laura: No, they’re not. They don’t live in a Muggle community.

Eric: Or visible. That’s true. But, but just things like that. I’m saying people who grow up in wizarding families can be so much more well-rounded, just because of their family and there’s no consequences as a result. I don’t think it’s a big deal too much though because I do agree with what you guys said about Muggle children being held accountable for going and turning their Muggle faces into goo, or something, next door, you know? But that’s a home problem, too, and that’s – I don’t necessarily know what the Ministry’s so afraid about as far as that goes. But what I’m saying is that even though you are allowed to use magic if you’re defending yourself, that’s way after they take you to court that any of that information is found out. You get a court sentence…

Laura: It doesn’t…

Eric: An owl through your window.

Laura: It doesn’t matter. You still don’t…

Eric: And so much..

Laura: You’re still not found guilty of it.

Eric: Right, but in the time of war, in a time of war so many people are going to be defending themselves. So many people who are younger and maybe even can’t do it, but they are going to be using magic..

Laura: Exactly, so…

Eric: And…

Laura: That’ll probably change a little bit.

Eric: Can you imagine the expense of owls that’ll be sent out if anybody wants to maintain this crap?

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: But Eric, because it’s – because its a time of war, those regulations are probably going to change.

Eric: Right, but so many of…

Laura: They’re not…they’re not going…

Eric: Instances.

Laura: To bring people to court for defending themselves against Dementors anymore. It’s not going to happen.

Eric: Well…

Laura: Because Harry’s already proven that Voldemort’s back and that people are going to have to do that.

Eric: So you’re kind of basically saying that the ban will be lifted anyway.

Laura: No, I’m not saying the ban will be lifted. I’m saying people aren’t going to be hauled to court every time they defend themselves. So, it’s not like we’re going to have…

Eric: Well, they’ll still be apparently breaking this restriction. So…

Laura: But they’re not…

Eric: If it’s kept in place.

Laura: They’re not breaking the restriction because they’re defending themselves and it’s already in the decree…

Eric: But who can prove that?

Laura: That they’re allowed to.

Eric: They needed a witness. Dumbledore needed to bring in Mrs. Figg to…

Laura: No, Harry’s trial…

Eric: To prove…

Laura: Eric…

Eric: To prove that they were defending themselves. What I’m saying is that so many people would be defending themselves. There are so many instances where people are going to – where underage wizards, more often than not, are going to be using magic to defend themselves. It is a complete waste of time.

Laura: Well, citing…

Andrew: Eric that’s…

Eric: Complete waste of time.

Andrew: That’s a terrible example.

Laura: Yeah. Citing Harry’s trial is…

Andrew: You reference the court trial. Umbridge admitted…

Laura: A really bad example.

Andrew: Umbridge admitted herself that she sent the Dementors after him so how could you say…

Laura: Yeah, it was the ministry trying to get Harry…

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: Into trouble.

Andrew: Right.

Laura: It’s not a good example.

Eric: Okay.

Laura: You can’t take Harry’s trial and say that’s going to be the average experience of every person who uses defensive magic, because it’s not.

Eric: No, in Year Two, he still got the owl through the… I mean, in many instances, or in many cases the owl worsened things for Harry, or it sure didn’t help. And the other thing, too, that I wanted to say about this is that I think once you – I don’t really like the idea that you’re not able to use magic when you get home from Hogwarts. I don’t necessarily agree with that. Now, that has to do with the underage wizard thing as well. There’s no way to refine your technique or do anything with magic unless you’re being schooled. And I can kind of see they want people to come out well-rounded and well – I just there’s a large unaccountability. Like for instance Tom Riddle, had he been living at a magic home, could have done far more evil and not gotten reprimanded for it when he was home from the holidays. Just because he lived in a magical institution. Now, he didn’t. It just so happens that he didn’t, but if he had…

Laura: So, you think we should lift the bans…

Eric: I’m saying people like Draco Malfoy-

Laura: So, that people like Draco…

Eric: No.

Laura: Could run around and cast terrible spells and even more mayhem?

Eric: No. I’m saying Draco can cast terrible magic spells-

Laura: Not as much as he…

Eric: As much as he wants to.

Laura: Not as much as he’d be able to-

Eric: As much as he wants to, yes, under his own roof, because Lucius is a respected member of society. His son can get away with doing so much.

Laura: But we’re not even talking about the past right now, we’re talking about the future, because they’re in the middle of a war. If Draco’s not even with his dad anymore it doesn’t matter because they’re going to know that. If they have detections of an underage wizard running around the British countryside performing magic, they’re going to know it.

Eric: Well, either way, they’re both of age now, or they will both be of age soon. Draco and Harry. But it’s just a matter – I really think it’s flawed. I really think that there should not be a repercussion considering it’s – they don’t even have to do magic to get flagged. If somebody else does magic in their home, like Dobby, or something, it just – you’re blamed for something you didn’t do.

Andrew: I want to know how it’s flawed because there is, like Laura brought up in her opening thing, you are allowed to use magic if it is for defensive purposes, like against a Dementor. So how do you think – how is it flawed?

Eric: Okay. Dobby uses hover charm, Harry gets sentenced, or he gets a warning, an official warning, that if he later gets warnings will bring him to court.

Andrew: Yeah, okay.

Eric: That’s a flaw.

Andrew: How is that flawed? I don’t – I’m not following you.

Eric: He didn’t do the magic – he didn’t do the crime, but he’s going to do the time.

Andrew: But he didn’t.

Eric: That in itself is flawed.

Laura: He didn’t do any time for it.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: No, he didn’t that time, but how many more times would Dobby have had to go in and use a charm and he would get slammed. I’m saying first of all, you’re saying it’s okay because he didn’t do the time, that he’s still getting officially labeled as that? Officially – it’s on his official record.

Andrew: Yes, because him a warning it’s not like they automatically flipped out on him and said “That’s it.”

Eric: No, but they had the record that he was being warned. They had the record that he was warned. It made him look bad.

Laura: The thing is Eric..

Eric: And, of course, they’re trying to prove he was looking bad.

Laura: Eric. It was a rare situation. Again, using Harry as an example here isn’t the best way to defend yourself because… Oh, no, because…

Eric: Okay, but Harry’s all we have.

Laura: All sorts of unusual events happen to Harry, not every Muggle-born or Muggle-raised child is going to have a house-elf in their house performing magic. It’s not going to happen.

Eric: Which is true. Which is true.

Laura: So, there are obvious exceptions to the way systems work. It’s how it happens, but-

Eric: Well, clearly the idea that a parent of a wizarding child will be responsible enough to prevent their kid from doing harmful magic to Muggles is a completely flawed idea.

Ben: Okay, that wraps up that.

Laura: The point is… Okay…

Ben: That wraps up our little cross-fire section there. Yeah, so Laura and Andrew, you have one minute to tell me why they should not – why in times of war they should not lift the ban.

Andrew: It would just be a huge mistake. There would be mayhem on the streets. Who knows, maybe someone, a wizard, could make a mistake in casting a spell on someone, because, you know, everyone’s on edge. So maybe they’ll see someone and be like, “Ahhh, Avada Kedavra!” Okay, maybe not that bad, but…

Laura: Well, just like in times of war in our world, do we say it’s okay for underage children to run around with guns? I mean it’s in – just for instance whenever you’re learning to drive, just because, you know, you made need to go to the store by yourself, or because your parents aren’t home, it doesn’t mean you can drive by yourself if you haven’t been certified. So, these underage people who are learning how to use magic, and they haven’t refined their technique yet, they obviously can’t run around using magic unmonitored, and the only place that the Ministry has a common ground on monitoring that magic is at Hogwarts. So, they shouldn’t be able to perform it outside of school.

Andrew: And this is all assuming that during this war that there are going to be random attacks on people. But even if there is that’s where you are allowed to defend yourself.

Ben: Eric, tell me why they should lift the decree.

Eric: I think on principle, it’s a decent idea that you have to restrict kids who are obviously not in a closed environment supervised by an elder to use magic, and that in itself is a good idea, but I don’t personally think that it works the same ways that it should. It prevents magic from being done in front of Muggles, maybe, but at the same time you could still bring Muggles to a wizarding household and perform all sorts of crap on them. Especially, if you are a Pure-Blood wizard who hates Muggles, you could do so many things to Muggles and there would be no way of detecting it. Almost. I’m trying to think that maybe there’s something in the Ministry that goes along with this that allows somebody to tell what charm was used such as the Hover Charm. So, there’s some way of maybe flagging houses, or detecting what kind of magic is used in a particular instance. So, maybe in the war, even if a Muggle accidentally, or is hit by an inexperienced wizard, there might be some record of it. I’m just saying it shouldn’t be banned. People should not have to – not necessarily account for their actions, but I’m trying to think of a situation where they are actually, you know, trying to vandalize streets. When they’re running from Voldemort. I think during war time the – I think it’s very unlikely, not unlikely, but I think they’ve got bigger fish to fry than the little kids who are going to be running around the streets. You know? Nobody’s going to be running around. They’re going to be hiding in there houses, waiting for Voldemort.

Ben: Good. Good debate everybody. I’m very impressed. A few comments before I give my decision. Something that, Eric, you should have spent more time on in your first little spiel there was that it says “in times of war.” You spent a lot of time explaining why the Decree for the Restriction of Underage Wizardry was just bad to begin with but you should have spent saying, “Okay in times of war these people are going to be under threat, why should the Ministry have to worry about little kids casting spells when they could be being attacked.” Laura and Andrew, something that you should have mentioned more and especially in your last little thing was that whenever there’s a – whenever your life is being threatened it is okay for you to use it, so therefore it doesn’t matter if the decree is lifted because they can use it when they absolutely need to. But Eric, I know, I’m saying that you should have mentioned it in your last thing. But Eric something that you should have brought up like in response to that was not just about the hassles it’s going to bring on the Ministry – I like the thing you brought up about the owls – but that when parents aren’t around as much they may need magic to make their lives easier and perform everyday activities and not just against Death Eaters. You know what I’m saying? If that makes any sense. Yeah. Overall, I think it was good. I don’t know if this is going to be the popular decision here, but I’m going to have to vote with the affirmative or, Eric Scull.

[Andrew groans]

Laura: What?! You are such a tool!

Ben: Hold on, hold on.

Laura: You’re such a tool! [laughs]

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Hold on, no. Here’s why. Here’s why: He made a good point that you guys brought up, okay, that they should only be allowed to defend themselves when they’re “qualified” to defend themselves. And I think that’s a really good point that they should lift the Ban on Underage Wizardry just because of the hassle it’s going to cause, when there’s going to be more attacks, the Ministry’s forces are going to spread to begin with. So, they’re going to need absolutely everybody and they’re not going to need to be tracking underage magic because it’s too much of a hassle especially when these people are going to be attacked. And something else that he did mention in his last little spiel is that these people – these kids aren’t going to go out destroying streets just because they’re allowed to use magic, that it’s going to be used when they absolutely need to defend themselves. So, there you have it. Eric Scull wins in my opinion.

Andrew: All right. It’s up to the listeners now, to decide.

Ben: Yeah, it’s up to the listeners to decide. Remember…

Laura: It’s up to the listeners not to be delusional. Geez.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Okay, if you honestly think that Eric – I mean Andrew and Laura won the debate, please vote for them. Do not let my decision bear on yours, have any weight on yours at all. And something else that’s important to mention: Please don’t let this turn into a popularity contest about “Oh, I think Andrew’s the coolest host, so I’m going to vote for Andrew.” Don’t make it about that, make it about the arguments.

Eric: Or “Eric is funny, he talks too much” or anything like that.

Andrew: We already know I am the coolest host.

Eric: Oh, you are, yeah.

Ben: So, I’m just saying…

Eric: How pathetic are we, dude? Alphabetically, you’re number one.

Andrew: I have to start saying I’m just kidding after everything I say because then I get these emails about how big of a head I have. People don’t understand – I’m just doing it to be sarcastic.

Laura: Yeah. People in the comments – oh my, god, did you see them last week?

Andrew: Yeah. “You guys have big heads!” No, we don’t!

Laura: I think it was me, Micah, and Kevin were the only ones who weren’t egotistical now, or something. [laughs]

Andrew: Yeah. Listen: It’s a joke! We’re just kidding. When I act arrogant, like saying that “we already know I am the coolest host”. I’m just kidding! I don’t really mean that!

Laura: Yeah, he does.

Andrew: Well, yes, I do.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: But, the point is… [laughs] No, I’m serious. It’s just a joke, okay? Please don’t take it seriously. [still laughing] I’m just tired of hearing that.

[Laura laughs]

Show Close

Andrew: On that note, I think it is time we start saying goodbye.

Eric: Oh, wait! There’s something at the bottom of the Writely. What is this? It’s number nine. British joke.

Laura: Yeah, well, you’re not British.

Andrew: That when – that was back yesterday when we thought Jamie was going to be on, but..

Laura: Before we flipped the “Easy” button. [laughs]

Andrew: Oui, oui.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, guys. The decision of who would host this week came down to this little sound: [presses the “Easy” button]

Andrew: We had to flip the “Easy” button to decide would it be Laura coming on the show or Jamie coming on the show? Because it was either one or the other that we had to sacrifice and Jamie lost and landed on the uneasy side. The easy side sounds like this: [presses button again] So, there you go. That’s how we decide things here on MuggleCast. [laughs]

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Next time you need something decided just let me know, and I’ll flip the “Easy” button for you.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: Andrew at staff. Anyway…

Ben: Anyway, the P.O. Box:

P.O. Box 223
Moundridge, KS 67107.

Send us anything – send us anything except Subway gift cards. Send those to Darfur, please. [laughs]

Andrew [Show close music in background]: You can also call the MuggleCast voicemail box: You can dial 1-218-20-MAGIC, and if you’re in the United Kingdom you can dial 020-8144-0677.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: If in Australia, where we lost the award and will probably canceling that number because apparently nobody likes us down there –

[Ben laughs]

Ben: [in Australian accent] Down under, down under.

Andrew: You can call 02-8003-5668. You can also Skype the username “MuggleCast” to leave your voicemail question, comment, or concern.

Eric: If you’re an aspiring stalker and wish to view images of the…

Andrew: You can view our MySpace! Perfect transition! MySpace.com/MuggleCastFans. We also got the Facebook, we got the YouTube group, we got the Frappr group, we also have the fanlisting and forums. Please vote for us on Podcast Alley and show your support, and rate us on Yahoo! Podcasts.

Ben: Also, check out…

Andrew: Yeah, just want to say again, thanks to everyone for listening.

Ben: This is the Love Room right here.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: This is the Love Room. Something’s heating up!

Ben: [sings] The love shack is a little old place where we can get together! [laughs] Love shack baby!

Andrew: I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: [sings] Love shack! I’m Ben Schoen.

[Eric sings in background]

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

Eric: And I am Eric Scull.

Andrew: Kevin?

Ben: [in Kevin’s voice] I’m Kevin Steck.

Andrew: Jamie?

Ben: [in British accent] I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Andrew: Micah?

Ben: [in Micah’s voice] I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: We’ll see everyone next week for Episode 61! Wooo!


Eric: You guys want something really messed up with time? I was born April 23rd EST at 12:11, right after midnight, but in about seven time zones in the world, I was born on April 22nd. And it was even like… Yeah. Yeah, so if you were to see my birthday…

Andrew: Wow. Wow.

Kevin: That’s like the people born on the extra day in a leap year. Technically they’re only four years old if you were born in 1986.

Eric: Well, no. It’s not even that random. Anybody born on the east coast within like the first six hours of the day, you know, it’s a different date somewhere else around the world. But I guess that’s true with any time of day. It’s pretty much…

Andrew: Whoa.

Laura: Yeah exactly. [laughs]

Kevin: Yeah, I guess.

Eric: Everyone has different birthdays.

Ben: If I was born at 11 PM…

Kevin: I think that extra day – I think being born on the extra day in a leap year – it just tops that, Eric. I’m sorry.

Ben: Eric, you’re just trying to make yourself feel unique.

Eric: Yeah. That’s it.

Ben: Like you have four birthdays or something.

[Kevin laughs]

Eric: But, but, but in the year 2000, my birthday was Easter Sunday and I thought I was the Prodigal Son or something. I was like all flipping out. It was really cool.

Ben: That you’re Jesus.

Kevin: [laughs] I knew you were going to say that. I knew it was coming.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Guys, I have the answer! You know who gave it to me?

Laura: Bono?

Andrew: Bono.

Kevin: Oh geez.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Bono. I have an answer. It’s in a song called Mercy”.

Laura: [still laughing] How did he give it to you?

Andrew: “Love is where I lie. Love puts the blue back in my eye. Love has come again. I am gone again…”

Ben: Yeah, wonderful lyrics.

Eric: Are Bono’s eyes blue?

Andrew: Wait! But there’s more! “Love’s got to be with a wink. Only then love gets a chance to speak. Love will come again. I’ll be gone again. Again.”

Eric: So, how do you get love into a room?

Ben: I think Micah Tannenbaum is pure love.

[Kevin laughs]

Andrew: Wait there’s more! “Love is justice, a charity…”

Laura: Okay.

Ben: Okay!

Andrew: “Love brings with it a clarity!”

Eric: Ben, is that what you’re saying? We should lock Micah up in a room?

Ben: Micah Tannenbaum is love.

Andrew: [sings] “Love is justice, a charity…”

Laura: Okay. Here’s my point.

Andrew: [continues to sing] “Love brings with it clarity.”

Eric: Seriously, what the hell? Okay, Laura, you’re on to something.

Andrew: [continues to sing] “Love has come again.”

Laura: Andrew, shut up! Thank you.

Andrew: [continues to sing] “I’m alive again.”

Laura: Oh my gosh! Hush. Anyway, here’s what I’m saying, okay…

Kevin: [laughs] This is going to be good.


Written by: Micah, Adrienne, Allison, Amanda, Briana, Jessica, Judy, Mandie, Margaret, Martina, Megan, Samantha, Sarah, Shannon and Shelly

Episode 60: Where Is The Love?

  • Eric enlightens us as to how Dumbledore could be a hairless Demiguise.
  • Sadly, we will not be getting blimps from the Australia Nick Kids’ Choice Awards.
  • Jamie knows his French better than he was given credit for last week.
  • Listener Rebuttals twist our brains with more time talk.
  • Main Discussion: Department of Mysteries finale discussion.
  • Why was the Ministry so easy to infiltrate?
  • Did Ron suffer any long-lasting damage from the attack by the brain?
  • Eric’s brain isn’t worthy to float in the “think tank”.
  • We’re heating it up in the “love room”.
  • Seven doors…?
  • Andrew can’t count.
  • MuggleCast dating service a success! Er… sort of.
  • Laura gives some friendly advice…
  • …while Ben says “dump him.”
  • Debate: Should the ban on underage wizardry be lifted? Andrew & Laura vs. Eric.
  • Attention Jamie fangirls: Blame the Easy Button for the lack of Brit.

Download Now
Running time: 1:37:55, 45.2 MB

Transcript 059

MuggleCast 59 Transcript

Show Intro

Andrew [Show Intro with music in background]: Because JKR got bored on the train, thank you, Erin, Grace, and Sarah, this is MuggleCast Episode 59 for October 14th, 2006.

See why GoDaddy.com is the number one domain registrar worldwide. Now, with your domain name registration, you’ll get hosting, a free blog, complete email, and much more. Plus, as a MuggleCast listener enter the code “Ron,” that’s R-O-N, when you check out and get your dot com domain name for just $6.95 a year. Get your piece of the Internet today at GoDaddy.com!

Jamie: Because magic is a manifestation of the mind… [Jamie continues one of his V for Vendetta rants] And I’m Jamie Lawrence.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: I’m Andrew Sims.

Kevin: I’m Kevin Steck.

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

Micah: And I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

Jamie: And I’m tired after that.

Andrew: Who wrote that for you, Jamie? [laughs]

Jamie: That was…

Kevin: Wow, you did it the first time.

Jamie: Stephanie. That was Stephanie. Thank you, Stephanie.

Andrew: We’re back for another week of MuggleCast. No Ben this week, unfortunately. Eric’s…

Jamie: Sorry, did you say “unfortunately”?

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: I almost had you there, Andrew. I’m joking Ben. I love you, Ben.

Micah: I think Laura Mallory actually got to him.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Oh! [laughs]

Jamie: Literally, she got to him. Killed him, murdered him…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Yeah. Eric Scull, you know, New Zealand, California, Vegas…

Laura: New York…

Andrew: Wherever else he went.

Laura: …Chicago.

Andrew: New York…it wasn’t enough. He’s in Chicago this week.

Laura: I think you said Miami’s next, right? Andrew?

Kevin: Oh really?

Andrew: At this rate…

Jamie: What? He’s actually going this – now? As in after Chicago?

Laura: Yes, Jamie. Yes, he’s going to Miami.

Kevin: Yes, it’s a cross-country tour.

Jamie: I wouldn’t be surprised. I wouldn’t be surprised.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: [Laughs] I know!

Jamie: Considering he goes half way around the world every single week and then still comes back and works 18 hours a day.

Laura: Hey you know what? I think everybody should write to the MuggleCast e-mail, saying where they think Eric will go next.

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: “Where’s Eric?”

Jamie: Get a free T-shirt if you guess the city, hotel, time, place, everything.

Kevin: Yeah.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Kevin: It’s a twist on “Where’s Waldo?”

Laura: [laughs] Yeah, that’s what I was thinking.

Andrew: I have a feeling he’ll be done after the Chicago trip.

Jamie: But, Kevin, you can spot Eric really easily because he’d just be wearing his Hogwarts robes on the photos. [laughs]

Kevin: [laughs] That’s true!

Jamie: He would be easy to spot.

Andrew: Oh, speaking of Hogwarts robes, we got to talk about what we’re all going to be for Halloween, because I know what I’m going to be and all of you can probably guess. But, first…

Jamie: What, Bono?

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: No, not Bono. That’s a good idea! No, not Bono. But first, Micah Tannenbaum, you have the past week’s top Harry Potter news stories.


Micah: The Portuguese Harry Potter translator, Isabella Nunes, has reportedly confirmed in an interview with a Portuguese fan site that RAB does indeed stand for Regulus Arcturus Black. Apparently, before Book Six hit shelves, she contacted Jo about the character’s gender, and was told the full name as well as the gender.

Her reason for shedding light on the topic at this point is to “keep awake” the excitement for the seventh book. In the past, Nunes also clarified that Blaise Zabini is a man and Professor Sinistra is a woman.

Last month we told you about a new cover for Quidditch Through the Ages, included in the Harry Potter Schoolbooks Box Set along with Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Now, the cover for the latter has emerged online. Both books benefit UK charity Comic Relief and can be purchased on Amazon.com. [mutters]Shameless plug.

In movie news, a recent breakthrough in film technology, developed by Image Metrics, allows a computer to map an actor’s performance onto any character: virtual or human, living or dead. The developers say it is far superior to standard hand-drawn computer graphics which are very costly and time-consuming. Warner Bros. will use this technology in the depiction of Grawp (played by Tony Maudsley) in Order of the Phoenix, which will surely bring Hagrid’s giant half-brother to life.

While in New York City for the premiere of his new film, Driving Lessons, Rupert Grint sat down for a chat with AM New York, where he discussed filming on Order of the Phoenix. He said they shot the Thestral scenes recently and that “it was really a good time because they had to make a mold, a specially made harness that goes under your legs, because in the film it has to be invisible. They put you on this crane and lifted you up in the air. That’s been my favorite scene so far.”

Speaking of the fifth film, the first theatrical teaser trailer for Order of the Phoenix will be released Friday, November 17th in front of the WB film Happy Feet.

And, additional information has emerged this week on Daniel Radcliffe’s appearance as Alan Strang in the London West End play, “Equus.” Apparently, 60 audience members will be seated on the stage itself with the rest in the stalls and circle. The play, written by Peter Shaffer, will run in the round for 16 weeks. Previews will begin on February 16th and the official opening is scheduled for the 27th. Rehearsals will commence January 3rd.

And, tied into a topic we mentioned on last week’s show, finally, the online hangout MySpace.com will organize 20 concerts featuring bands promoted on its site as part of a campaign to raise awareness and money for humanitarian relief in Sudan. We’ll have complete information on this in the show notes.

That’s all the news for this October 14th, 2006, edition of MuggleCast. Back to the show.


Andrew: Okay, thank you Micah. Anyway, guys: Halloween. What are you all going to be for Halloween?

Laura: What am I going to be for Halloween, Andrew?

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: I’m going to be a Target employee.

Andrew: Oh!

Kevin: Oh!

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Because that’s what I’m doing on Halloween.

Kevin: That sounds really interesting.

Laura: Yay me!

Andrew: What is that? A nice red polo shirt with a little Target logo on it?

Laura: Yeah, with my lame khaki pants.

Andrew: Khaki pants? [laughs]

Kevin: I was thinking a belligerent college student, what do you think?

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: You expect to walk around like that?

Andrew: I was expecting you to be Bill Gates, actually.

Kevin: [laughs] Yeah!

Jamie: I’m going to be boring. I’m going to stay in and I’m just going to dropkick people’s pumpkins when they ask me for trick or treats.

[Everyone laughs]

Kevin: Oh okay, so he’s going to be a…

Micah: You’re not going to steal their candy?

Jamie: No, I am. You know, you should learn that life is a complete disappointment early in life.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: You shouldn’t have to wait you’re like a teenager or older, so when they come around, I’m going to steal their candy, drop-kick their pumpkins, and tell them that if they ever come back here again, I’m going to sort them out.

[Everyone laugh]

Jamie: I’m sorting them out, you know

Andrew: Micah, what are you going to be for Halloween?

Micah: I don’t know. I don’t think I can top Jamie’s stealing candy from children.

Jamie: Just do the same, then.

Micah [laughs]: Just do the same?

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Yeah. I would. Laura, that’s wrong when you say you can’t be too old for Halloween.

Laura: You’re never too old for Halloween.

Jamie: That’s not true!

Andrew: Well, no…

Jamie: If you’re 110, and you can’t move, you should not be dressing up as a vampire and going around for candy.

Laura: Excuse me, Jamie.

Jamie: Yeah?

Laura: If you’re 110, then Halloween is the perfect holiday for you.

Jamie: Yeah. Oh yeah, you don’t have to dress up.

[Everyone laughs]

Kevin: It’s true, yeah.

Jamie: Although, I’m sure – no, no, no. Come on. I think you can be too old for it.

Laura: Nope, you’re wrong.

Kevin: I don’t think you can.

Jamie: It’s like… Go on!

Laura: Hey! Halloween – I’ll remind you all – Halloween is J.K. Rowling’s favorite holiday. So, you can never be too old for Halloween.

Jamie: But, that doesn’t mean you could – that’s good, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be too old for it.

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: I never said… I said you can’t be too old for Halloween. It’s an awesome holiday.

Andrew: I mean I’m not going to be going trick-or-treating.

Laura: Well, it doesn’t mean you have to trick-or-treat.

Andrew: I feel a little too old for that, yeah. Well, I’m going to be…

Jamie: What else are you meant to do, then?

Andrew: Everyone in my school, you know, everyone… I was sort of outed this year with the whole Harry Potter thing. So, I’m going to be Harry Potter.

Jamie: Really?

Laura: Really?

Andrew: No cloak.

Kevin: You don’t have a cloak?

Laura: Do you remember last year when people dressed up as us?

Andrew: Yeah.

Kevin: Yeah, that contest.

Jamie: No. [laughs]

Kevin: Oh yeah, that was…

Laura: Wasn’t that weird?

Kevin: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah. That was pretty funny. But, I’m going to be hosting the morning show program that we do, and we have to dress up.

Jamie: Nice.

Andrew: Me and my friend are going to be Harry Potter. I’m going to be vested…

Jamie: Hey!

Andrew: What?

Jamie: Doesn’t being Harry Potter just involve drawing a scar and putting on some glasses? That’s what everyone seems to do.

Andrew: Scarf? No, not scarf. Yeah. Scar, glasses. I’m going to wear the gray vest.

Jamie: Dye your hair black as well?

Andrew: The white under shirt.

Kevin: Yeah, Andrew. Do you have…

Andrew: The black pants.

Kevin: Do you have the Triwizard Cup still?

Andrew: Yeah.

Kevin: You can bring that around. [laughs]

Andrew: Yeah.

Kevin: The one you were supposed to give away like three months ago.

Laura: You know what this reminds me of?

Andrew: I don’t know what you’re talking about, Kevin. [laughs]

Kevin: Okay?

Laura: I was actually hired to work on MuggleNet on Halloween.

Andrew: Really?

Kevin: Really?

Laura: So, this Halloween is going to be my two-year anniversary, yes.

Andrew: Oh wow.

Kevin: That was a sad day in MuggleNet history.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: It’s been downhill from there.

Kevin: Yep.

Andrew [laughs]: Anyway…

Laura: That’s what they all say.


Andrew: Let’s get people up-to-date here on some things that we’re doing around the podcast. We have the new website up. Hopefully everyone’s enjoyed that. We’ve gotten a lot of good feedback about it. We’re working on the comments.

Laura: Even though the comments don’t work.

Andrew: Yeah, we’re working on that. It’s a MuggleNet server issue. It’s not really our fault. And also every week, we’re going to be making a round-up post, that’ll basically go over what the feedback was of the previous week’s show. And Laura did the first one for Episode 58. And without the comments, we have no way of telling if people like it or not. [laughs]

Laura: If you guys actually liked it.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: So, if you guys hated it, just write me and tell me you hated it.

Andrew: It’ll just be a good way of keeping the site fresh and going over some people’s feedback.

Transcript Update

Andrew: Micah you got an update about the transcripts?

Jamie: Yeah.

Micah: Yeah. Just the database is finally up-to-date, after a couple of months. I think since about the summertime. We’ve had some problems getting things up to you guys in a timely fashion. But, everything should start to be moving along smoothly. We have a lot of stuff going on right now. We’re still working on L.A. with Leaky, and Episode 58 and now 57, and now 59. So, we might get backed up a little bit.

Jamie: Cool.

Micah: But, I want to take just a moment to thank everyone. This is going to be like one of Jamie’s V for Vendetta lists right here.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Hey!

Micah [laughs]: Because there are a lot of people. But, just to thank the transcribers, I’m just going to go through the list real quick: Shelly, Shannon, Sarah, Roni, Megan, Marti, Mandie, Judy, Jessica, Amanda, Ally, Adrienne, Matthew. And then we have three editors: Margaret, Eloise, and Allison. And we just added two this week: Samantha and Brianna.

[Kevin laughs]

Micah: So, thanks you guys!

Jamie: Thank you!

Andrew: Thank you! Look at this team Micah has built!

Laura: Thanks!

Micah: I know!

Jamie: Micah.

Andrew: It’s an excellent job, Micah.

Laura: He remembers.

Jamie: He remembers. Yeah.

[Laura laughs]

Micah: To think that I used to do the episodes all by myself.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: You know, I meant to tell you this the other day. I was thinking about this for some reason before I went to bed one night. I was just thinking about how great it was – the best idea we ever had to hire Micah. Seriously.

Kevin: Thank you.

Andrew: Thanks, Micah.

Laura: Awww, Micah.

Kevin: It’s like a sweat shop.

Jamie: Do you think about Micah every night before you go to sleep?

Andrew: Yeah, I do. [laughs]

[All laugh]

Jamie: I certainly do, so there’s no shame in it.

Andrew: I have a picture of him on my night stand.

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: That’s kind of creepy.

Jamie: I’ve got seven.

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

MuggleCast T-Shirts

Andrew: Also, MuggleCast t-shirts – we haven’t done this in awhile – we have some new MuggleCast t-shirt designs and I don’t think we’ve plugged them at all on the show. So, go to MuggleCast.com…

Jamie: We always plug them.

Andrew: …and click on “Store” at the link or “Store” at the top. [laughs] Is it called “store” or “shop”?

Jamie: One of them. It’s one of them.

Andrew: “Store.” It’s called “Store.”

Jamie: Go to either.

Andrew: Pick up one of these great new t-shirt designs. They are really cool. I saw one – I saw the first one at the live Leaky Mug. Someone was wearing it. And it’s very nice. It’s a MuggleCast Crest t-shirt. Then, we also have Lumos shirts up for sale and we’re working on one more design which should be out around Christmas, but for now, purchase your MuggleCast t-shirt today. Help support the show. Thank you very much.

Jamie: I agree.

Episode 57 Update

Andrew: Also, after much skepticism, complaints, barrates, all these, all these, all this – ah, it just hurts so much. Episode 57 is finally released, four weeks late, but, hey. It’s out.

Jamie: It’s still out?

Andrew: It’s a bit of a mess. I had to record the second half of the show again. Well, my voice – because my – I lost the audio file. It’s not a bad show, actually. We didn’t make a news post on MuggleNet. We will with this new episode, but, so check that out. Sorry for the delay.

Laura: Yeah. They made you cry, didn’t they Andrew?

Kevin: Wow.

Andrew: Yeah. All of these people were complaining about how we were just doing it to keep up with PotterCast and all this nonsense.

Jamie: How dare they.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: It was just because if you listen to 57 you will see it’s a very dated show. That’s why the title of the show in fact is called MuggleCast 57: This Show is Outdated. So…

[Jamie laughs]

Kevin: Oh. Good title.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs] So, Jamie you got this RS…

Kevin: That’s the one we recorded before LA right?

Andrew: Right before the trip.

Kevin: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Chocolate Frogs have…

Andrew: Jamie, you got that…

Jamie: Huh?

Andrew: You got the RSVP thing? That’s yours, right?

Jamie: Oh. Oh, yeah. Well, before I do it, I’d just like to say that Chocolate Frogs have furious fights over who gets to be in the box with a Dumbledore card.

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: That was pretty good.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: From Phoebe, 16, from Texas. Thank you.


Okay, the RSVP thing. Okay. Somebody, I can’t remember who because the e-mail got deleted and I can’t remember who, so I’m sorry, wrote in to point out that I had been mispronouncing RSVP. Not the actual abbreviation, but the actual thing. I was saying it’s repondez, s’il vous plait [pronounces it “ray-pond-ay see voo play”] and there’s an “s” in there, so it’s respondez s’il vous plait [pronounces it “ray-spond-ay see voo play”]. Well done to them for spotting out my deliberate error and for pointing it out. So, yeah. Well done, because I did do that on purpose just to test who was listening and who was up to scratch on their French.

Kevin: Oh, I’m sure.

Jamie: Oh, by the way, instead of doing an actual segment for the Dumbledore-Chuck Norris facts, I thought I’d just put them in whenever there’s an awkward silence or gap or something like that. So, let me know if you like that more.

Andrew: [laughs] Okay.

Listener Rebuttal: The Veil

Andrew: We also have a listener rebuttal this week, and then we’ll get into our main discussion. This comes from Valerie, 16, of New York and she just wanted to clear up a little mistake we made on Episode 58.

“I have a rebuttal regarding the Veil. On Episode 58 you mentioned that Ginny could have heard ‘beyond the veil’ because she saw Riddle die. This theory isn’t possible because a few pages earlier it was stated that she couldn’t see the Thestrals so she couldn’t have seen death.”

A lot of people brought this up to us and its true but the eternal optimist could always say, “Well gee, maybe she’s just pretending.”

Laura: No, Valerie’s right.

Andrew: Yeah, I know. She’s right. [laughs]

Laura: Thank you, Valerie.

Andrew: I’m just trying to cover it. So, with that said…

Jamie: So wait, even the eternal optimist would be screwed in this regard, then, completely? [laughs]

Andrew: Yeah. Yeah.

Jamie: Couldn’t win.

Andrew: But with that said we should revise the conclusion that we made last week, which is in order to hear voices from the Veil, you have to have seen death.

Laura: I don’t think so.

Andrew: But now…yeah. But now the general consensus…

Laura: I disagree.

Andrew: I know.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Wait, you weren’t on the show last week right?

Laura: No, I was.

Andrew: Oh, you were.

Laura: But, you guys kept saying that it was death, and I kept saying that Ginny had never seen anyone die.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: You did say that?

Jamie: She says that now. She says that…

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

Laura: Okay!

Andrew: You did not say that.

Laura: Go back and listen to the show.

Andrew: Maybe you did.

Laura: I said Ginny has never seen anyone die, therefore…

Jamie: She’s taking all the credit for Valerie’s hard work, Andrew, here. Oh, shameful.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Micah: When the transcripts released tomorrow, we’ll go back and we’ll take a look and see

Laura: No. I can tell you exactly what I said.

Andrew: She probably did. She probably did.

Laura: I said…

Jamie: Yeah. She probably did, yeah. [laughs]

Laura: …I don’t know if Ginny’s seen anyone die so there’s got to be a different common link between those four people.

Andrew: No one brought up the Thestrals though. That was the mistake that we made, saying that Ginny could see the Thestrals.

Laura: The mistake that you made, not me.

Andrew: Okay. Sorry. [laughs]

Laura: I’m just kidding, Andrew. [laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] So now, thinking about it, it could be a near death experience because Ginny was in a near death experience in the Chamber of Secrets.

Laura: Yeah. That was actually in the Roundup that I posted that one listener thought that because – she thought that maybe it was a traumatic experiences that made them more vulnerable to the Veil’s…

Jamie: Power.

Laura: …attraction.

Micah: So, you’re saying Ron and Hermione have never experienced a traumatic event?

Laura: I’m not saying that. I’m saying listener feedback and see it kind of brings into question what would the level of trauma have to be?

Kevin: Considering…yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: It’s like, “Yeah, Ron, you almost died when you were 11 years old. That doesn’t count.” You know, so…

Jamie: Yeah. [laughs]

Main Discussion: Time and the Department of Mysteries

Andrew: Alright. So, this week we are going to talk about the Department – well, no. This is continuing our series about the Department of Mysteries. Today we’re going to be talking about [sings] time. Ben’s not hear to sing it with me either. [chokes up]

Jamie: What song is it?

Laura: You’re all alone Andrew.

Andrew: City of Blinding Lights by U2.

Jamie: Oh.

Laura: Oh boy.

Jamie: Why – what does time have to do with that?

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Or is it – or did you just say time in the theme of City of Blinding Lights [laughs]

Andrew: No, no.

Kevin: He applies every word…

Andrew: That’s what we’re talking about. We’re talking about time.

Jamie: Oh.

Andrew: And in the song they sing [sings] “Time…”

Jamie: Oh, I see.

Andrew: [sings] “Time will leave me as I am. Time taking the boy out of this man.” Okay. Anyway, Jamie go for it. [laughs]

Jamie: Well, okay. Time is an extremely interesting topic because it has been the subject of, you know, sort of a great deal of science fiction films, fantasy novels, and it’s something that you can’t really explain. It’s very complicated, very intense topic, and even for the most powerful of wizards and witches when messed with, it can have dire consequences. So, and especially when it comes down to the Department of Mysteries and time, because obviously the Ministry of Magic isn’t completely, what’s the word? What’s the opposite of corrupt? Sorry, what’s the opposite of non-corrupt? Corrupt. Yeah.

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Congratulations, Jamie.

Jamie: Thank you. Thank you. Fine, fine. So, the Ministry of Magic isn’t completely non-corrupt, so you know, time, when placed in the hands of a bad person, like Voldemort, could be very, very deadly. So, let’s talk about time. Let’s start off with our first question.

Does The Ministry Control Time?

Jamie: How much control does the Ministry have over time, and time meddling, more specifically? And the first bit of that is, it took a long, long time for Hermione to get the Time Turner in The Prisoner of Azkaban. And it seems, because of this, that the Ministry has strict controls, but maybe, like the other Ministry-related things, they are open to outside control. What do you guys think?

Laura: Well, do you think that they were monitoring anything that Hermione was doing with the Time Turner? Because…

Jamie: You mean like tracking what she was doing?

Laura: Yeah, because it seems like if they really wanted to make sure that it wasn’t being abused…

Jamie: Oh yeah.

Laura: …they would, but at the same time, no one’s ever said anything to the trio about going back and saving Sirius.

Jamie: Well, exactly. You’d think that they’d restrict it so she couldn’t just go back ten years and change stuff that she wanted to, but I’m sure they wouldn’t allow her to go back and rescue Sirius, as you say, so perhaps they don’t. Perhaps the tests are, before she gets it, and then once they’re satisfied she won’t use it for anything bad, they give her free reign over it. Although, that does seem a bit, you know, reckless.

Laura: It’s kind of dangerous, though.

Jamie: It is.

Laura: But, I mean again, it’s something they would do.

Jamie: [coughs] Yeah, no, it is.

Micah: I’m actually rereading Prisoner of Azkaban right now, but I don’t remember. Does the Ministry know that she has the Time Turner?

Laura: Yeah.

Kevin: Yeah.

Jamie: Oh, yeah.

Kevin: Yeah, definitely.

Laura: Yeah, she said that McGonagall had to write tons and tons of letters to get it for her.

Andrew: So maybe they just have to convince them – well, McGonagall just had to convince the Ministry that she could be trusted enough to do this.

Kevin: Now do you think the Ministry is only one with Time Turners?

Jamie: Well, exactly. They’re like – surely you can get one. You can’t, you know….

Kevin: See…

Jamie: And where do they get them from? Do they make them? Or are they natural?

Kevin: You see the thing is, is…

Laura: [laughs] What, do they just pop out of the ground, Jamie?

Kevin: Yeah.

Laura: Like flowers?

Jamie: Yes, yes.

[Laura laughs]

Kevin: They grow on trees.

Jamie: They have Time Turner trees and you just pluck one off and wind it back and you’re fine.

Andrew: When it’s ripe, of course.

Kevin’s Analysis of Time Travel

Kevin: You see…

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: …the thing is about the Time Turner that I never really liked, was that they were able to see themselves in the past. If you know what I mean?

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: Which…

Jamie: No, but that…

Andrew: Why don’t you like it?

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: It, well…

[Jamie laughs]

Laura: Explain, Kevin.

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: The reason why I don’t like it is this: If you in the – when you’re visualizing time, if you go back in time, right? And kill yourself, right?

Laura: Mhm.

Kevin: You would never have had the opportunity to go back in time in the first place. And, therefore, you…

Jamie: No, Kevin, stop trying to show off, okay?

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Jamie: Anyone can get this from…

[Micah laughs]

Jamie: …Wikipedia, okay? It has nothing to do with it.

Laura: Well, that’s why… That’s why you don’t go back in time and kill yourself. [laughs] That’s why you don’t do that.

Kevin: No, but what I’m saying is…

Laura: You can’t.

Jamie: No, no, no, no. The point you’re trying to say is, you can’t go back in time and kill yourself because you could – because if you went back in time and killed yourself, you couldn’t go back in time and kill yourself.

Kevin: Exactly.

[Laura laughs]

Kevin: And then you’d…

Jamie: But that has absolutely nothing to do with Harry Potter.

Kevin: No, no, I make a point. This is my point.

Laura: That’s not necessarily true, though. I mean…

Jamie: It is, it is. Of course it is.

Laura: …it depends on what the limitations on time are. No because, in the books, doesn’t it work in a loop? It would just keep going and going and going.

Jamie: No, but if you decided now to go back ten years…

Laura: Like the Energizer Bunny.

Jamie: Huh? [laughs]

Kevin: Okay, how about this?

Jamie: Just like the Energizer Bunny.

Kevin: Instead of saying, kill yourself. If your going back in time results in your death indirectly…

Jamie: Then…

Kevin: …it becomes a paradox.

Jamie: …it precludes your existence, yeah.

Kevin: Yeah, exactly. And what I’m saying is, are even the dark wizards willing to go back in time, knowing the risks involved in doing so?

Jamie: But Kevin, Kevin, you can’t – if you go back in time, yeah? Then – and then you can’t die, because if you died, then you wouldn’t be there to go back in time. So, your mission is automatically a success if you go back in time. Do you see what I mean? Well, no it’s not automatically a success but you come back, you definitely come back.

Kevin: It depends on your view of time. If it’s a linear time…

Jamie: No…

Kevin: …as opposed to a quantum time where there’s…

Jamie: Yeah I definitely… Right, you’ve lost me absolutely completely already.

[Everyone laughs]

Kevin: What I’m saying is, there’s different ways of viewing time. One in a linear fashion or one in, like, the quantum physics fashion, where by going back in time you have just created a new timeline where different things can happen.

Jamie: Oh right. I see.

Kevin: So…

Laura: That what I’m saying, though. I mean, I’m kind of under the impression that time in Harry Potter is circular. Like, for instance…

Kevin: Is like linear? Where…

Laura: Well, okay, let me explain. You know how in the Prisoner of Azkaban movie and I think – I don’t often like to cite the movies because I often feel that they’re incorrect. But you know how at the end when Harry and Hermione come running back and they open the doors and they see themselves disappear?

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: I believe that the versions of themselves that just disappeared would come running back again and see themselves disappear again, like it keeps going and going and going.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Ohhh…

Laura: So, even if you do kill yourself, it just happens over and over and over again.

Kevin: Which is a paradox again.

Jamie: But surely, Kevin. Surely, Kevin, the time in Harry Potter is one where you don’t create a new timeline because Dumbledore says that they’ve got to be back in the hospital wing at a certain time to replace the ones that have just gone. So, surely, when Dumbledore turned after he sent Harry and Hermione off to do the thing, he just turned around and they were there and it had been a success already. Isn’t that right?

Kevin: But by different timeline I mean the affected events so, therefore, there is a universe in which they did not go back in time or, in which, Sirius died and then there’s a universe…

Laura: That’s interesting.

Kevin: …in which Sirius survived. That’s…

Laura: Let’s discuss this. Do you think that Harry will visit some sort of alternate universe, where things are different?

Kevin: I think that would be a far stretch for the Harry Potter books.

Andrew: A parallel universe? Tell us abut parallel universes, Kevin.

Kevin: Uh, let’s not. [laughs]

Jamie: No, no, no, no, no. He told us about those in Vegas, remember?

Andrew: Yeah, that was a lot of fun hearing about that.

Kevin: I did.

Would Dark Wizards Use Time Travel?

Kevin: But what I’m saying is, my point is…is… Do you think that dark wizards are – would avoid time and time travel because of the implications of making a mistake?

Laura: Well, it depends. I think that Voldemort would avoid it.

Jamie: No. No, Voldemort, yeah.

Laura: But I think he would make people do it for him.

Kevin: Yeah, but even…

Jamie: Yeah, it’s too powerful for him to…

Kevin: But even then you have to realize you can, you can catch yourself and you can catch, like, time itself in a loop where nothing…

Laura: Yeah, that’s true.

Kevin: …will move forward.

Laura: I mean, if one of his followers screwed up…

Kevin: Exactly, so do you think that Voldemort would actually be willing to take the risk of…

Laura: Hmmm.

Jamie: I think he – I think he’d trust it to some people.

Who Does Regulate Time?

Laura: I think that kind of brings us back to, who does regulate time? You know?

Andrew: It’s got to be the Ministry.

Jamie: You can’t regulate it, really.

Laura: That’s the thing. You almost wonder if anyone has any sort of view, you know, of what’s going on. If Voldemort would be able to know what was going on, if he would be able to somehow direct a person who had gone back in time to do something. You know?

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: It’s difficult.

Jamie: It is difficult.

Laura: You can’t exactly send someone a letter telling them what to do if
they’ve gone back in time.

Jamie: Yeah, it’s true.

[Jamie and Kevin laugh]

Laura: [laughs] I think we’re confusing ourselves.

Kevin: Well, it’s a very confusing subject.

Laura: [laughs] Yeah.

Repercussions of Going Back in Time

Kevin: And also, is there a limitation on how far back in time you can go?

Laura: I don’t think so. I never got that impression.

Jamie: I have.

Kevin: So, you’re saying that Hermione could have taken the Time Turner,
flipped the Time Turner a million times…

Jamie: A million times.

Andrew: [laughs] See dinosaurs.

Kevin: …gone back to right before Harry’s parents were killed and saved their lives?

Jamie: Yeah. No. Well, yes, she could have done.

Laura: Well, not necessarily save their lives, but then again she’d have to
live through those sixteen, or thirteen, fourteen years. She couldn’t just, you know?

Jamie: Yeah, exactly, she couldn’t – you can’t go forward in time. But
I’m under the impression she couldn’t do that because if she’d done that Harry’s parents would be alive now. I know that you’re saying that you have
different timelines, but…

Laura: Yeah. It’s hypothetical, though.

Jamie: …I don’t think that’s the case in Harry Potter.

Laura: I think Kevin’s just trying to make a point.

Jamie: Yeah, but…

Kevin: Yeah, my point is, is that the repercussions of changing anything in
the past are so great that, you know, the smallest thing…

Jamie: It’s smart to not do it.

Kevin: If you push one person out of the way of a moving car, right, that person surviving could change everything.

Jamie: Everything could change. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They could go on a… Yeah.

Did The Trio’s Time Travel Affect The Future?

Laura: Well, do you think that maybe the trio accidentally changed something that seemed so minute in the third book and it’s going to come up in the seventh book, and it’s going to make everything even more difficult?

Andrew: Like what?

Laura: I’m just… I don’t have any specific examples, I’m just saying, Kevin brings up a good…

Andrew: Instead of turning the light off they left it on?

Laura: Yeah, you know, something just…

Andrew: The light bulb bursts, and someone…

Kevin: Someone didn’t trip, didn’t hit their head…

Andrew: …has to go out and change the light bulb, which triggered Draco. Oh, come on, I was on a roll, Kevin. But there’s no light bulbs at Hogwarts, so that sort of doesn’t work out. So…

Laura: [laughs] What?

[Andrew, Kevin, Laura laugh]

More Monitoring Time

Jamie: Should we move on to the next one? Can’t they monitor when someone
has changed time or have we done that? Perhaps, actually, think about it. Would you think that’s, like they can tell where magic has been…

Kevin: Like a resonance that leaves some sort of…

Jamie: …was being done, but they can’t tell who by. Yeah, yeah. Perhaps it’s that they can monitor that somebody has gone back but and done something, but they can’t tell what. So, when they see Hermione going back in Prisoner of Azkaban, they just think that it’s her going back to do her lessons, rather than…

Andrew: Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Jamie: But wait a minute…

Andrew: But wouldn’t they be able to watch or something?

Jamie: Well, I guess so, but…

Laura: That’d be kind of creepy, though.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: Because that would mean that they would be watching her all the time…

Andrew: Well, that’s just one of the…

Laura: …which is gross.

Andrew: …one of the rules you have to deal with.

Jamie: You can tune in to channel 415: Hermione. Like cable.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Laura: Whenever they feel like it, Jamie?

Jamie: Whenever they feel like it.

[Laura laughs]

Hermione’s Time Travel

Jamie: But wouldn’t she be going to – wouldn’t she be going to one class twice? So, say if at 10:00 AM – no, say if at 9. Actually, no. Yeah, say if at 9:00 AM she’s got Muggle Studies, yeah?

Laura: Mhm.

Jamie: And at 9:00 AM she’s got Arithmancy. If she went back in time to go to Arithmancy, wouldn’t she be void…

Laura: Then she’s in Muggle Studies again.

Jamie: No. No, no, no, she wouldn’t be in Muggle Studies, though, because she’d be in Arithmancy. So, as Kevin says, there have got to be two, two different things of time, but…

Laura: Oh my god, this is so confusing. [laughs]

[Kevin laughs]

Jamie: They aren’t parallel, they’ve got to…

Kevin: That’s what I’m saying, yeah.

Jamie: …catch up at some point. See what I mean? Because if she goes back in time to go to one at 9:00 AM she can’t be in two places at once, so she’s got to be missing from one, unless it’s two different periods of time. Does that make sense?

Kevin: Yeah, yeah, but remember what, remember what Harry and Ron were saying. They saw they saw her in class. So what she probably did was, she went to class, went back in time and went to another class, so she technically was in two places at once, until the point at which she had used it.

Jamie: At which they coincide. Yeah.

Kevin: Exactly.

Laura: Yeah, I don’t know. I’m not sure about that because if say she weren’t in one class whenever she went to the other, there’d be no point in saying you can’t be seen. You know?

Jamie: Well, yeah, I guess, but…

Laura: You’re still going to run across yourself. Wasn’t there one point in
the book where Hermione was walking with them and she suddenly disappeared
and was at the bottom…

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Laura: …of the stairs?

Kevin: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: You think she’d be a bit more subtle instead of just walking along
and disappear, you know?

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: You’d think she’d go into the toilet like Superman and turn the Time Turner.

[Kevin laughs]

Laura: Yeah, but what if they had just run across one of her past selves? And if she just disappeared?

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, yeah. No, no, no, or…

Kevin: Yeah, it’s true.

[Jamie and Laura laugh]

Jamie: …or if she’s – this can’t go into the show, really, but if
she goes into the toilet and she turns the time back and somebody’s in there taking a [bleep].

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: She just lands on top of them.

[Everyone laughs]

Back to Monitoring Time

Micah: But I don’t think they can monitor the changing of time just because
they would be able to know exactly what happened that night. They know that
Sirius was freed somehow…

Kevin: It’s true, yeah.

Micah: …and if they knew…

Andrew: Well, that’s what I was thinking…

Micah: Sorry.

Andrew: No, you can finish.

Laura: Well, clearly the Ministry doesn’t know because Fudge had no clue. He was just pointing fingers. So…

Micah: [laughs] Fudge never has a clue.

[Kevin laughs]

Laura: I know, but [sighs] if the Ministry did know, then Fudge would know, you know? They would obviously tell him, hopefully.

Micah: But there was Ministry presence that was there, though, wasn’t there that night?

Laura: Ummm…

Micah: Because the Dementors were going to perform the Kiss.

Laura: Well, Fudge was there.

Micah: Right.

Laura: Fudge came.

Micah: So, you would think that if they knew Hermione used the Time Turner at this time during the day to go back in time…

Laura: Exactly.

Micah: …that they would have connected the two events.

Kevin: Yeah, it’s true.

Laura: So, obviously, they can’t even monitor when she uses it.

Jamie: No, yeah.

Micah: Maybe that’s part of why it’s so…

Andrew: Dangerous.

Jamie: Dangerous.

Micah: …such a problem to entrust it into even a student that is under the watch of professors.

Andrew: I don’t know. I just think if they’re issued by the Ministry, you would think they would take the responsibility of tracking what people are doing with them.

Jamie: You would hope so, yeah.

Andrew: I doubt when they were trying to figure out how Sirius escaped, I don’t think the first thing they checked was Hermione’s Time Turner.

Laura: No, but then again…

Andrew: And she wouldn’t be as looked at.

Laura: …this is the same group of people that put Dementors as guards on a prison, you know? Creatures that are known to serve Lord Voldemort, they’re putting in charge of his followers. It just doesn’t seem like they’d be all that intelligent when it came to how they ran things.

Andrew: Right.

Laura: Especially time.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Well, I mean, that would explain why they wouldn’t check Hermione’s Time Turner.

Laura: Yeah. Well, I’m not sure you can check, though. I’m just not sure I believe that it’s like you can log into whatever and check to see Hermione changed time at 4:52 PM, you know?

Kevin: Yeah, it’s true.

Andrew: Well, maybe not, but, I don’t know. You can track magic – well, we’ll get into this more later when talk about how…

Laura: Oh my god, my head is spinning. [laughs]

Andrew: I think it’s going good. So just…

Can Anyone Change Time?

Jamie: Okay. Number two: Can anyone with the right tools change time, or do you need magic in you, like you need magic when using a wand, because the wand just channels the magic?

Laura: We had an – Andrew and I had an interesting discussion about this the other day.

Andrew: And then I stopped it because I was like, “Save it for the show!”

[Kevin, Laura, and Andrew laugh]

Laura: Yeah. No, basically we were kind of talking about, could a Muggle or a squib use a Time Turner? Because I’m not necessarily sure they could, but my point was that a wand isn’t really a source of magic. It channels the magic from its owner. A Time Turner is actually magical itself. So, would…

Jamie: Well, we think it is.

Laura: Well, it’s got to be. It’s changing time, it’s not the wizard that’s changing time. Well, I mean the wizard does, but…

Jamie: No, but it could be magic that’s put into it.

Andrew: The wizard could be – right, right. The same way a wand is.

Laura: No, but that’s not true, though. Because remember in Order of the Phoenix whenever they knocked over the Time Turners, and they kept reappearing and falling back over by themselves? So, it wasn’t magic that was put into them.

Jamie: No, that could just be…

Laura: They were fixing themselves and breaking again.

Andrew: There has to be some magic in them, but you might also need the wizard’s magic. Which I thought that’s what you were telling me the other day.

Laura: No, no, no. I was saying you need a wizard’s magic to use a wand.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: But I’m not necessarily sure you need a wizard’s magic to use a Time Turner.

Micah: When you say, “change time,” do you mean specifically with a Time Turner or is there another way that you’re talking about?

Laura: Well, we know that – we’ve seen another method of time in the Department of Mysteries where that one Death Eater fell into the bell jar and it caused his head to become that of a baby’s. And was kind of different because it wasn’t really changing time, it was…

Micah: Changing bodies.

Kevin: Reverting, yeah.

Laura: Making him younger.

Kevin: Yeah.

Laura: Yeah, it was making him younger and it was also a lot faster. Whereas with the Time Turner you actually have to live back through all of those events over again. With the bell jar he was going back and forth between being a baby and being a Death Eater within seconds.

Jamie: Yeah.

Micah: Well, I think if a Muggle or a squib got a hold of a Time Turner, and they just turned it a little bit, something might happen.

Jamie: This is so tough, this stuff.

Kevin: It really is, yeah.

Laura: I know! Now I know how…

Jamie: I need some infantile humor to take away from the seriousness.

Laura: Do you remember… [laughs] If you’ll remember on the Prisoner of Azkaban DVD where Alfonso Cuaron was trying to explain the whole time cycle and he couldn’t?

Jamie: Oh, really?

Laura: Now I know how he feels.

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Because it’s like…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: He’s only done Spanish movies, so we’ve got to give him something.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Yeah. Wasn’t Jo sitting with him or was that a separate interview?

Laura: Yeah. Yeah, Jo was sitting with him.

Andrew: Did she try and explain it at all?

Laura: No. She just looked at him and she was like, “Yeah, yeah, it is very hard.” [laughs]

[Kevin laughs]

Andrew: “Oh, thanks.” [laughs]

Laura: [laughs] She basically gave him that look like, “Um, yeah.”

Andrew: I wonder if the bell jar, like…how does it…the baby. How young was the baby? Was it a week old, a month old?

Laura: I don’t know, it just said “baby.”

Andrew: What determines – yeah. What determines how far back it brings you?

Laura: Well, apparently, I mean, we saw in the bell jar that there was – wasn’t there an egg in there and as it floated to the top it turned into a bird or something, and then as it went back down to the bottom it would turn back into an egg. So, I think it probably takes you back to the earliest form of life, I suppose.

Jamie: No, because the earliest form of life for a baby is…

Laura: I knew this was coming! I knew this was coming!

[Jamie and Andrew laugh]

Jamie: Well, it’s true!

Laura: I didn’t want to bring this up because then it gets into the whole topic of when does life start, and we don’t need to go there.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, true, fair point.


Andrew: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Jamie: Andrew, there is an easy answer to this. It’s clearly the egg.

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: Because evolution says that there has to be something before a chicken, before something evolved into a chicken. So, the one stage before a chicken, that thing laid an egg, and then that hatched into a chicken.

[Kevin and Micah laugh]

Andrew: But what laid an egg?

Jamie: That’s why we – huh? A chicken minus one.

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: Well, that’s like saying a mother came along and gave birth to Adam and Eve.

Laura: No, no, no, no, it’s not.

Jamie: No, it’s not, it’s not.

Laura: No, he’s right. He’s right, Andrew. Whatever came before the chicken, whatever the chicken’s ancestor is, laid the egg and the evolution over time brought us to the chicken.

Jamie: Hey, look. Andrew.

Andrew: You guys are such dorks.

Jamie: Andrew.

Andrew: Because anyone else you ask that, they’re just like, “Oh, I don’t know.”

Jamie: Andrew?

Andrew: What?

Jamie: Look at it like this. If you have, “What came first, the snake or the egg?” Okay? The egg came first because a snake with one leg laid an egg and then that hatched into a snake with no legs, which is really a snake. Whereas the snake with one leg isn’t really a snake. Do you see?

Andrew: Uhhh… [laughs]

Laura: What we’re saying is…

Kevin: It’s all based on evolution.

Laura: Yeah, if you think about it, humans are slowly evolving. I mean, it’s so minimal that each generation has, you know, some sort of small change to them, but it’s so, just, minimal that you can’t even notice it. Isn’t there some sort of prediction that eventually, humans are going to no longer have their pinky finger? One day? We’re just…

Jamie: I hope not.

Laura: [laughs]Humans are only going to have four fingers.

Kevin: Oh, that would stink.

Laura: So it’s like, saying, you know, over time, like for instance, the mother who had a centimeter of her pinky finger that gave birth to the child with no pinky finger. You know what I’m saying?

Andrew: Well, that’s like people saying about your appendix. People think that that it used to be a second stomach? Ever hear that one?

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Kevin: That would have been awesome.

Jamie: You’d get to Subway and then go back.

Laura: Now it’s just…

Jamie: Now it’s…

Andrew: Ready to cause appendicitis.

Laura: Burst.

Andrew: Yeah, exactly. [laughs] But anyway. What purpose does…

Laura: [laughs] How did we get…

Andrew: From the chicken to the egg.

Kevin: This came from the chicken to the egg floating to the top and then the bird floats up.

Laura: [laughs] Yeah, okay.

Kevin: Yeah, but…

The Bell Jar

Jamie: Let’s move from the bell jar and move to number four, will…

Andrew: Well, hold on. What purpose does the bell jar serve?

Kevin: I think the bell jar was just an…

Laura: It was just research.

Kevin: Yeah, it was just an experiment.

Andrew: Oh, okay.

Kevin: And the only reason why it went back as far as it did, back to the egg, is just probably the way they set up the experiment.

Laura: Mhm.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: Well, they probably – what they’re trying to do is probably monitor time change in a very fast setting.

Jamie: Yeah, exactly.

Laura: So they don’t have to sit there and watch, you know, a chicken take four weeks to grow.

Kevin: Yeah.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: Or maybe they did it in case the parents didn’t take a picture of the baby…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: …as a newborn. So, they charge a small fee and you can…

Jamie: Or they’d forgotten what their first word was, so…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: So, they were like, “let’s just chuck you back into time and we’ll see what you said.”

Andrew: [laughs] Uh huh. All right, so moving along here.

Will Time Feature in Book Seven?

Jamie: Okay. Number four: Will time feature in Book Seven? Will the trio use it again to right an injustice? How far back in time would the trio go in order to change something? This goes back to what we were talking about. I don’t think they’d ever dare go back to when Harry’s parents were alive.

Laura: Mhm.

Kevin: Yeah, and that’s what I was saying about even dark wizards. I don’t think anyone would even risk the repercussions that it’d result from.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: It’s too unreliable. Way too unreliable.

Kevin: They… The further you go back, the more that things can change from a single action.

Laura: Mhm.

Kevin: You know? Because it grows off of itself. So…

Laura: Yeah, but that’s why I was kind of bringing up, what if they do something so seemingly…

Kevin: Well, technically they did.

Laura: Yeah, but what if it’s something so seemingly unimportant while they were changing time, that it’s going to come back and bite them in the butt, you know?

Kevin: Well, it really won’t matter because they never had a perspective on what was going to happen in the future anyway. What I’m saying is if you are here now, and you go back five years, a subtle change there can change the here and now largely.

Jamie: Of course, yeah.

Laura: Oh god.

Kevin: Because they only went back a couple hours, when they did end up getting to their current time, the time at which they had gone back, it didn’t – nothing major had changed. And that’s good. But what I’m saying is if you go back further than that, if you go back years or, you know, hundreds of years…

Jamie: Millenniums.

Kevin: …the slightest… Exactly.

Laura: Mhm. Oh, yeah, it’s a huge risk.

Kevin: Then the slightest change – one life can make a huge change, to the point where when you catch up to the current time, things can be completely different.

Laura: Oh, man.

Andrew: Yeah. It always scares me, like what if there was no Thomas Edison? What if there’s no Al Gore?

[Kevin laughs]

Jamie: What happens if there was no Bono? Andrew?

Andrew: What if there’s no… No. I can’t even think about that.

Micah: But Book Seven, yeah, I don’t think time is going to factor in at all. I think we saw it in Book Three and…

Laura: I don’t know though, I don’t agree!

Micah: They’re not going to pull out a Time Turner and be like, “Oh, let’s go back in time five minutes….”

Laura: I don’t think so though.

Micah: “…and make sure that Dawlish dies.”

Kevin: There’s too many questions regarding it.

Laura: I think there has to – something has to happen with it. It might not be… I don’t know. I just think that time is too important in these books not to have a place in Book Seven.

Micah: But I think it’s a cop out at the same time, to think that they’re going to be able to back in time and correct an event that takes place.

Kevin: Yeah, definitely.

Laura: No, I don’t think they’re going to go back and correct a major event, but I think that there’s going to have to be some sort of study of time. It just seems interesting to me. You know, JK Rowling put – I don’t even know why I’m calling her that. Jo put a huge emphasis on time in the Department of Mysteries. She had them in that room two or three times, didn’t she? I just don’t think… I think that Harry is going to go back to the Department of Mysteries. I think he’s going to study the Veil, I think he’s going to study time, and I think he’s going to get behind that door.

Andrew: Why study that stuff, though, unless you absolutely need it?

Laura: Because it’s important.

Micah: So, you think he’s going to go to the Department of Mysteries and say, “Hey, I’m here to study the Veil. You mind letting me in.”

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

Micah: And he’s going to go downstairs, take out his book, and start writing with his quill?

Kevin: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah. [laughs]

Laura: I don’t think it’s that kind of study. I think he’s going to come back and actually have to do something with that. I think he’s going to have to find out exactly what these things are. She would not have introduced us to this place if we weren’t going to learn
about it.

Jamie: Could they solve absolutely everything, like, eliminate the conflict, by going back in time and stopping Snape from overhearing the prophecy?

Laura: I don’t think they would.

Kevin: But that’s what I’m saying…

Jamie: Too risky, like I said.

Laura: Yeah, I agree with Kevin here, I don’t think they would.

Kevin: You can’t predict what’s going to happen by doing that, and I think it would really screw things up. It would not result in the – in the same, you know, outcome, and it would… Obviously, it would not result in the same outcome, and things would be really screwed up. But, for all you know, by not letting Snape hear the prophecy, something else happens that results in Harry’s death.

Jaime: Yeah.

Kevin: And then…

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: …oops, now you have Voldemort running around without Harry to stop him.

Jamie: Well, yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah.

Micah: Well, plus you have to live through 16 years of…

Kevin: Exactly.

Laura: Yeah, exactly. [laughs]

Kevin: And by the time you catch up to yourself, you’re not even going to know what’s going on. So…

Micah: And, do you age? That’s another question: do you age in time? Like, will he – would he be 16 years older than he initially was?

Andrew: When he – when he went back?

Jamie: No.

Kevin: So, he would go back in time at 16 and then…

Laura: I don’t see how time could stop you from – I mean, it’s time.

Andrew: Yeah, it’s still moving.

Laura: You can’t stop yourself from aging.

Kevin: So he would arrive at 32?

Micah: So if he went back to that – the night of the prophecy. Yeah, exactly.

Laura: Basically, like, let’s say that Hermione goes back 100 years, she’s going to die before she gets back to where she was.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

Laura: I know that’s not… [laughs] It isn’t a cheerful thought, but…

Kevin: So, does she stop existing at the time she went back? That’s the question.

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: If she…

Laura: Kevin, you’re twisting my brain here. I can’t…

Kevin: In…in…

Laura: I can’t do this.

Kevin:The Prisoner of Azkaban, if they replace themselves that went back in time, doesn’t that mean that she’ll never catch up to herself that goes back in time, so she’ll just die and stop existing?

Jamie: I don’t know. That’s too complicated, far too complicated. But, the one thing I do know is that the only time Dumbledore was wrong was when he thought he made a mistake.

[Andrew, Kevin, and Laura laugh]

Jamie: Thank you, Austin, 15, from Texas.

Andrew: That wasn’t an awkward moment. Kevin was on a roll there.

Kevin: I was on a roll.

Andrew: Why’d you break it?

Jamie: Oh, no, he was on a roll, sorry. I just… Oh, no, no…

Kevin: Way to go.

Jamie: It isn’t only – it doesn’t only have to an awkward moment, I just thought that it seemed like a nice time for it. I’m sorry, Kevin.

Kevin: Oh, okay.

Jamie: Go on, go on.

Kevin: Oh, I’m good now.

Jamie: This time stuff is so complicated.

Kevin: Yeah, I think we’re making – we’re going to make everyone sick.

Andrew: It doesn’t matter, though. It’s, it’s going pretty well.

Jamie: Okay, should we move – should we skip out four?

Kevin: We’re…you know what we’re going to do?

Jamie: Should we skip that one?

Kevin: We’re going to cause a number of accidents…

Laura: I know.

Kevin: …because people will be…

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: …concentrating on time so much, they won’t be concentrating on driving while listening to us, and they’re just going to start hitting other…

Jamie: But then, we could just go back in time and save them.

[Laura laughs]

Kevin: Oh, that’s true. Yeah.

Laura: [laughs] Yeah.

Jamie: Just go back in time and not record the show, and then they’ll be fine, so it’s okay.

Kevin: You’re right, yep.

Why Can’t You Be Seen Traveling Back in Time?

Jamie: Okay, number five: Why is it so important that you are not seen when traveling back in time? And is it that you can’t be seen at all, or just not by yourself? I actually saw a TV program a few years ago, where you could go back in time, and see yourself, but you couldn’t touch yourself. And if you touched yourself, it caused like a…an…a universal paradox…

Kevin: It’s a paradox.

Jamie: …and the entire universe exploded.

Laura: I think what it is, you can see your past self…

Micah: Yeah.

Jamie: Your past self. Yeah, yeah.

Laura: …and other people can see you, but your past self can’t see your future, you know what I’m saying? Because, like, the trio all saw their…

Micah: Yeah, there’s no way…

Laura: …past selves whenever they went back, and obviously tons of other people saw…

Micah: There’s just no way that they didn’t see her.

Laura: …Hermione’s…

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: …multiple personalities wandering around the school.

Kevin: I thought that they described some of the consequences. Wasn’t it that, like, you can’t predict what you…

Jamie: You go mad, yeah.

Andrew: How? If you know you have the other Time Turner, then…

Kevin: Yeah, you can’t predict what the other person…

Andrew: And you see…

Kevin: Yeah, well, well that’s one thing.

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: But you can’t really predict – for example, if Harry had seen himself, prior to knowing there was a Time Turner, what is Harry going to think?

Jamie: Yeah. His dad, maybe again, just like when he saw himself.

Kevin: Yeah, right. Either that or kill him.

Laura: Right, Jamie, what would you do if [laughs] you saw yourself walk into a room?

Jamie: I would challenge myself to an arm wrestle, and then see who wins.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: That would be awesome.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Challenge myself to a fight.

Kevin: Yeah, but see, the problem is that…

Andrew: Would either win?

Kevin: …other people can look like you…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: …by using…

Micah: Yeah, what if…

Jamie: Yeah, but not identical.

Kevin: Yes, but that’s what I’m saying. I mean, look at, look at Moody. He was Moody, everyone knew him as Moody, but he wasn’t.

Micah: Yeah, but what happens if…

Kevin: So, if Harry saw himself…

Jamie: Oh, you mean so if… Yeah.

Kevin: …the first thing he’s going to assume is that someone disguised as – exactly. Pull out his wand and try to kill him, so now you just killed yourself in the future. [laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Jamie: I think it would be a bit hasty to just kill him.

Kevin: I don’t know, I mean you can’t predict your reaction to seeing yourself.

Andrew: Well, I mean, in Hermione’s case, if the rule – if she said the rule was, “I’m not allowed to let the other version of myself see me,” but if you know you have a Time Turner…

Laura: Maybe it’s a little different, then. But, I mean, Dumbledore continually said, “You can’t be seen.”

Andrew: I guess that makes sense if people see two of you, because…

Laura: So, obviously…

Andrew: …maybe the Ministry doesn’t want anyone knowing who has Time Turners, because then, like, say Malfoy could… If Malfoy…

Laura: Yeah, but can you imagine…

Andrew: Hold on, if Malfoy knew that Hermione had a Time Turner, Malfoy could get Hermione to maybe take him back in time to, you know, change something to cause some sort of damage.

Kevin: Yeah, but…

Andrew: I’m saying just a little incident…

Laura: Yeah, but can you imagine, like…

Andrew: …in the past day, not like, you know…

Laura: I’m just not even sure that Hermione could even, even if you have a Time-Turner, that you should be seeing your future self, because what would Hermione have done if she’d seen herself rescuing someone that she thought was a criminal? Because obviously, if her past, you know, if her past self had seen her future self saving Sirius Black, she would’ve been like, “What was I thinking?” [laughs] or, “What will I be thinking?”

Micah: No… What if it’s event specific? And think about the people that are involved. When it’s going on during school hours and most likely people know, at least among the teachers, that she’s using it, there wouldn’t be any cause for concern, but think of all the people that are involved in the situation when she goes back in time at the end of Prisoner of Azkaban.

Kevin: Yeah, it’s true.

Micah: Would you really want somebody like Snape seeing you, would you want somebody…

Laura: Yeah, that’s true.

Micah: …like Wormtail seeing you?

Kevin: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: Because what use would you have for going back in time at that situation? And they’re going to immediately assume that you’re going to – you’re changing something for the better or for your own reasons, and I’m sure that’s not going to fly with the Ministry.

Micah: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: So, I think it’s just a – just the repercussions of, you know, possibly changing things or seeing yourself out of context and doing something drastic.

Laura: I think our brains have all been appropriately twisted now.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Kevin: If you aren’t bleeding from the ears yet, you will be.


[says in strange voice] Well, for more on time…

Jamie: For more on time, go to Level
on MuggleNet, which I thought was pretty comprehensive, but after talking about it on the show, I realize it barely skims the surface. But still go there anyway.

Andrew: Maybe you should provide a link on Level Nine to this episode of MuggleCast.

Jamie: I should. It is Mugglenet.com/LevelNine, I think. Let me just check that quickly.

Kevin: Is nine spelled out or…?

Andrew: Yeah, it’s “slash” LevelNine. It’s spelled out.

Laura Mallory: Second Try

Andrew: Guys, last week we tried to give Laura Mallory a call and we asked if maybe…

Jamie: Did we?

Andrew: Yeah, we did. And no answer; we got the voicemail, said, “Your call is very important to us,” Ben left a message, asked for her to call us back and no response, so…

Laura: Imagine that.

Andrew: Let’s try giving her a call one more time and – give her a call one more time and see if maybe she answers this time.

Jamie: Yeah, let’s do it.

Andrew: She’s in [using incorrect pronunciation] Decatur…Decatur…Decatur, Georgia?

Laura: [using correct pronunciation] It’s Decatur. Decatur.

[laughs and mocks Andrew’s incorrect pronunciation] Decatur.

Andrew: Her number is, for anyone at home who wants to give her a call…

Laura: Andrew! Don’t do that.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Now, you guys can’t talk to her because we’re on speakerphone. She’s not going to answer.

Laura: I would laugh if she did.

Andrew: Shhh, shhh.

Kevin: I know, she’s going to pick up. It’s…

Andrew: Shut up! Shut up!

Jamie: Andrew, Andrew…

[Phone ringing]

Jamie: Just be polite, whatever you do.

Answering Machine: Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system.

Andrew: Oh. Oh, jeez.

Answering Machine: Laura Mallory is not available. At the tone…

Andrew: That’s a different number.

Answering Machine: …please leave a message. When you are finished recording or press one for
more options.

Laura: Is that her cell phone?

Andrew: Yeah. Shhh! [leaving message] Hi, Laura. This is Andrew Sims, from MuggleCast. I just wanted to ask you a couple questions about your concerns with the Harry Potter series. You talked to my associate, Ben, last week. Well, he left you a message on your phone at home and he said – well, in your voicemail it says that your call is very important to us, but unfortunately, we didn’t get a call back.

Laura: [laughs throughout call] So stupid.

Andrew: So, we’d like to have a small interview with you on our show. It gets about a million listeners a week, so, you know, it’d be – it’d be a big-time interview. So, give me a call back. The number is 609-668… Thanks. Bye.

Andrew: Well.

Jamie: Not bad, not bad. Very professional. Very professional, Andrew.

Kevin: That was fun.

Andrew: [sighs] It’s very upsetting.

Laura: We have about a million listeners a week?

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: I just… I want to I want to make it a hot sell, you know what I’m saying?

California Reminiscing

Andrew: Now, Jamie, you weren’t on the show last week.

Jamie: Yeah. I know.

Andrew: And we did have a little discussion about our time in California. Do you have anything to add, perhaps?

Jamie: Yeah. Well, I don’t – I don’t want to repeat what everyone else has said, but I’m sure the word “awesome” has come up a lot of times from what other people have said, and you’d all be right if you called it awesome. It was absolutely awesome. It was…

Laura: Mhm.

Jamie: Yeah, it was fantastic. And the – the Leaky Mug, sorry, not the Leaky Mug, I don’t know what I’m talking about. The time at Santa Monica Beach was so, so, so, so good. I felt a peace with nature there, you know?

Andrew: Yeah, yeah. Especially when you made contact with the water.

[Kevin laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, yeah. I did, I did. Well, you see, what happened was, you know, people were going in left, right, and center. John had gone, Andrew had gone, you’d gone. And Ben just said to me, “Right, you’re going in.: Now, instead of argue – arguing with him, and he is quite a bit bigger than me, so he could’ve just picked me up and thrown me in and I’d have ruined my cell phone and everything, I just said, “All right, Ben, I’m going in.” So I took my phone out of my pocket, took my – took my wallet out and all my bucks, man, put them down and Ben just picked me up and threw me in the water, and it was freezing. Absolutely freezing.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah, it was awesome. Absolutely awesome.

Andrew: So…

Jamie: And the – Podcast Awards were very cool as well. I felt very proud being there and picking up that award and the microphone and…

Laura: Proud and excited.

Jamie: And, yeah, very proud and excited. And there was a party going on all day with cake and, you know…

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Cake and… Cake and fruit punch.

Jamie: Cake and fruit punch, yeah. And it was awesome. And the Leaky Mug went very well, as well. It was great to meet everyone out there and I actually got – thank you very much to the people who all got me Lucky Charms.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: I ended up with like, five boxes of them. So, it was a feast that evening at the Leaky Mug room.

Kevin: Did you get those on your plane? Did they allow all that stuff?

Jamie: Yeah, I did. Well, well, we ate quite a few, you know, there and then, but I put the other ones in my suitcase and I still got some left over, which is quite cool. And thank you for all the other presents, as well. And just – LA is an amazing place, and I had a really, really good time there, so thank you to everyone. And it was great to see you guys.

Andrew: Awww, thanks.

Micah: Didn’t you meet somebody?

Jamie: Did I meet somebody?

Micah: Didn’t you meet somebody you’ve been waiting to meet for a long time? At Disneyworld? Disneyland?

Jamie: No, I didn’t meet him, did I? I didn’t meet him. He was gone.

Andrew: We only saw him once and he was and he was very busy. So…

Jamie: He was having a day off.

Micah: Once?

Andrew: Are you talking about Mickey, Jamie? Or Micah?

Micah: You didn’t meet him?

Jamie: Yeah, we’re talking about Mickey.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Are we talking about Mickey?

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

Micah: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, no. He…he… Oh, no, I think I waved at him and he waved at me back, but to be fair, though, I was slightly disappointed. I was hoping for a hug, a handshake, and a…

Listener Rebuttal: Ghosts and The Veil

Andrew: Another listener rebuttal we got this week. It comes from Ryan, 21, of State College, PA. He writes, “Micah…”


Micah: Yeah?

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: “You seem to be one of the most active on this topic, so I figured I would just send this one to you. Jo said there weren’t executions, just studying death. Is it possible that the observers were studying ghosts that came out of the Veil? Is the Veil the gateway back to Earth if you choose to be a ghost? We’re supposed to figure out more about the Veil and more about how people become ghosts, so I figured it might be a connection. Also, check out the Onion Radio Network podcast; it might be suited to your humor.”

There’s a plug for you. Signed, Ryan.”

Micah: Well, I’ll answer the second part about the gateway back to Earth. I think it would be more of a gateway to whatever afterlife there was. We talked about that on the last show, that if this Ministry is built around the Veil and the Veil is sort of the gateway to the underworld; maybe it’s possible that those peoples’ souls who don’t go to the underworld – that they do come back through the Veil, I don’t know. It still wouldn’t explain why the ghosts just can’t, you know, pop on through the other side and that no ghosts came through the Veil at all while they were there. You know, I’m not…

Laura: Because they can’t.

Micah: You think they’re trapped? [laughs]

Laura: No, I just don’t think that… It’s like saying [sighs]

Micah: So basically, you’re telling Ryan, “No!”

Laura: Okay, here’s… [laughs] Here’s why I think that, though… Because Nearly Headless Nick didn’t know anything about the veil. If it were somewhere that ghosts came from, he would obviously know about it. He said that he didn’t know anything about death or what came after it because he chose this feeble imitation of life instead.


Kevin: Shot down, Ryan.

Laura: And I love the silence.

Kevin: Shot down.

Micah: So, hopefully we answered your question, Ryan. I don’t… I don’t think that anything can come back out through the Veil once it’s already behind there, and I think that’s why they’re studying it.

British Joke of the Day

Andrew: Yeah. Yeah. British Joke of the Day.

Jamie: Okay, I don’t, I don’t have one. So, I’ll just say…

Andrew: You never have one.

Jamie: I would. No, I know. Well, I forgot.

Andrew: It used to be a huge segment, now it’s just…

Jamie: Well, I would tell you the joke about the pen, but you probably wouldn’t get the point.

Andrew: Ooh.

Laura: Ooh.

Micah: Ha, ha, ha.

Kevin: That was good.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Okay, I need some new ones. I’ll find some for next week, I’m sorry. I just feel like I’ve used them all already. I know that you can’t really use every single joke in the world.

Andrew: Especially with only 59 episodes with one joke a week, and you started on episode three. So…

Jamie: Yeah. I think there are a few more than just 59 jokes in the entire world. So…

Laura: Well it doesn’t matter, Jamie. They can’t be jokes from the entire world; they have to be British jokes. Duh!

Andrew: That’s true. So there’s only, like, 80.

Jamie: Yeah, that is very true. And I do happen to know that there are only 59 jokes in all of Britain, so I’m going to have to go back and start repeating.

Show Close

Andrew: We’d like to remind everyone that if you’d like to send a voicemail question to be aired on this show, make it a general question about the series. To contact us, our P.O. Box is 223 Moundridge, Kansas 67107. All that stuff is sent to Ben, and he forwards it all to us if it’s for us. If you’d like to call us to leave those voicemail questions, if you’re in the United States you can call 1-218-20-MAGIC, which is 1-218-206-2442. In the UK, you call dial 020-8144-0677, and if you’re in Australia you can dial 02-8003-5668. Speaking of Australia, no word yet if we picked up the Kids Choice Award for fave podcast.

Jamie: Hundreds?

Andrew: Yeah, hundreds. We’ll have an update on that next week.

Kevin: Oh, and we should thank everyone for sending in the EA questions. We got a crapload of them.

Andrew: Yes, thanks for sending in the EA questions. Kevin, tell us about all the EA questions.

Kevin: I can tell you the most common question if you want me to.

Andrew: What? What is it?

Kevin: I got it about one hundred times. It’s “is the new game open world, or is it requiring you to go though step by step?”

[Show Close music starts]

Andrew: Oh, okay.

Kevin: Where you can fly around the entire world.

Andrew: I think it’s open world.

Kevin: We shall see when they answer.

Andrew: Just ask me. You can also Skype the name MuggleCast and leave a voice mail question, just keep your question under thirty seconds and eliminate as much background noise as possible.

Jamie: Keep it under three seconds from now on.

Andrew: Yeah. You can also e-mail us. You can just use our first name at staff dot mugglenet dot com, or use the feedback forum on MuggleCast.com. We also have a new community section on the new community website. You can visit our MySpace, Facebook, YouTube group, Frappr group, or even the MuggleCast fanlisting and forums that MuggleCastFans.net.

Jamie: Basically, what he’s trying to say is that there are so many ways to contact us that you’ve got no excuse at all to. Get writing, e-mailing…

Andrew: We’re everywhere.

Jamie: …phoning, sending, mailing.

Andrew: Yes. There was something else I was going to say.

Jamie: I know what you were going to say. You were going to say Dumbledore does not speak Parseltongue, the snakes just speak English out of sheer terror.

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Jamie: Actually, Michael, 17, from Sydney said that.

Andrew: Very good Michael, 17, of Sydney. That does wrap up MuggleCast 59. We’ll be back with 60 – we’re turning 60 next week. Once again, I’m Andrew Sims.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Kevin: I’m Kevin Steck.

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

Micah: And I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

Andrew: [says in strange voice] Buh-bye!

Kevin: Goodbye.

This Week in Steck

Andrew: This week, we’re going to have fun with a new segment, and we’ll get back to all of our normal segments next week. We’re calling it “This Week in Steck.” It’s a rip off of “This Week in Tech,” and we know it, but it just works so well, that we have to do it. [laughs] So, we want you guys to send in your technical questions, but Jamie’s got a question for “This Week in Steck” this week that he hopes Kevin can answer for him. Is Jamie not here? [laughs]

Jamie: Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Yeah, so I think we just made this so I could get my computer problem solved, you know? I think that’s it, Andrew. [laughs] Okay, Kevin, okay. I have a wireless network…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: …in my dorm, okay, and I get a perfect signal, okay, on my laptop – perfect, excellent signal, but the Internet keeps dropping. It will die, and then, and then Google won’t load, and then every other website will load in like, eight minutes, and then it will crash, and AIM will crash, and then MSN won’t load. Why is this when I’ve got a perfect signal?

Kevin: Okay, where is the router located?

Jamie: It is downstairs.

Kevin: And where – so it’s passing through floors, I assume? How many?

Jamie: Yeah, but it’s a perfect signal. I get… One.

Kevin: Well, see, the thing is, is that all wireless signals run on a certain frequency…

Jamie: Oh, okay. I know it’s on Channel 11.

Kevin: So, you’re running on a 2.4 gigahertz frequency.

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: So, anyone with a 2.4 gigahertz phone running on the same channel can…

Jamie: Is going to interfere. Should I change the channel, then?

Kevin: Yeah, actually, if you go to the lowest range, like, Channel One or Channel 11…

Jamie: Yeah, one.

Kevin: …or the maximum range, it tends to help.

Jamie: It’s on… I know it’s on Channel 11 now, so shall I change to one and see what happens?

Kevin: Yeah, try changing to one and see how it goes.

Andrew: Yay. [presses the easy button]

Jamie: Thank you, Kevin. That concludes “This Week in Steck” this week. I will tell everyone next week if my wireless network is performing perfectly.

Andrew: Oh, wonderful.

Jamie: I’m sure it will.

Andrew: That needs a second press. [presses the easy button] Too easy for Kevin Steck. What can’t he answer?

Kevin: I know.

Jamie: Oh, Andrew, Andrew, we have a rule in this house where, where, you can’t press the easy button unless something was easy.

Andrew: Oh, really? [laughs]

Jamie: And uh yeah. It’s like a grave, grave, you know, violation of rules if you press it when something hasn’t been easy.

Andrew: [laughs] Is it a hot item in your house?

Jamie: Huh?

Andrew: Is it a hot item in your house?

Jamie: Yeah! Yeah!

Andrew: Good.

Jamie: You like… And any person who presses it has got to explain why they pressed it, or why something was easy.

Andrew: [laughs] Oh, geez. Best five dollars I ever spent for you.

Kevin: Oh, wow.


Written by: Micah, Adrienne, Allison, Amanda, Briana, Jessica, Judy, Mandie, Margaret, Martina, Matthew, Megan, Samantha, Shannon and Shelly

Episode 59: Time to Talk Time

  • Purchase yer MuggleCast t-shirts!
  • Transcripts are up to date.
  • Episode 57 is finally released.
  • This week’s main discussion: Time.
  • What kind of control does the Ministry have over it?
  • Can anyone with the right tools change time?
  • Is the Time-turner the only device that can affect time?
  • Will time play a role in Book 7?
  • Why is it so important that you are not seen when traveling back in time?
  • A second attempt to call Laura Mallory: Andrew pushes for an interview.
  • Blooper: This Week in Steck.
  • We’ll have more of our regular HP-related segments back next week.
  • Information on MySpace hosting concerts for Darfur aid

Download Now
Running time: 1:01:59, 28.7 MB

Transcript 058

MuggleCast 58 Transcript

Show Intro

Andrew: Three solid weeks without MuggleCast and one new Podcast Award later, this is MuggleCast, Episode 58, for October 8th, 2006.

GoDaddy hosting plans are even more powerful than ever. Best of all, plans start at just $3.95 a month; and no matter what plan you choose, your site receives twenty-four seven maintenance and protection in the GoDaddy.com world-class data center. Use them for your upcoming website or podcast today by using a special offer from MuggleCast and GoDaddy. Enter code MUGGLE – that’s M-U-G-G-L-E – when you check out, and save an additional ten percent on any order. Get your piece of the internet today at GoDaddy.com.

Spy on Spartz

[Phone rings]

Emerson: Whatchu want?

Ben: Hey, what are you up to?

Emerson: I’m going to take a shower, that’s pretty much it right now.

Ben: Hey, you know how people always like to be redundant? You know what I’m saying? Like PIN number and ATM machine? Do you know why they do that? Why would they do that?

Emerson: Because they’re stupid?

Ben: Oh, come on! Is that all you could come up with?

Emerson: Okay, no, no, no. It sounds better as ATM machine. I say ATM machine too.

Ben: But come on.

Emerson: It’s definitely acceptable to say ATM machine.

Ben: Oh really? So, how’s Notre Dame this time of year? I’m curious.

Emerson: Notre Dame is glorious.

Ben: Glorious?

Emerson: The leaves are turning colors. The football team is winning, and…

Ben: Hey, did they – how’d they do against Michigan? I was curious.

Emerson: I beg your – what?

[Micah laughs]

Ben: Against Michigan.

[Micah laughs]

Emerson: How’d we do against Michigan? Against Michigan State, they won. They made a real comeback.

Ben: Right, right. What about Michigan the week before that?

Emerson: Well, what about Michigan? Everybody knows that game. And I blame the refs.

Ben: [laughs] You blame the refs? Well, we just thought we’d check in on you. We haven’t checked in on you in a few weeks.

Emerson: The refs gave them at least six touchdowns.

Ben: Mhm. We’re missing you, man. I mean, you haven’t – we haven’t seen you forever, we haven’t touched base with you in so long. We thought we’d Spy on Spartz.

Emerson: That’s cool. Ben, what did you think of the Michigan State game?

Ben: I enjoyed the Michigan State game. It was a great game.

Emerson: What’d you think about Michigan State?

Ben: What?

Emerson: What’d you think about Michigan State?

Ben: It sucked. [laughs]

Emerson: [laughs] Why did it suck?

Ben: Because it was huge. It was, like, bigger than – it was 85 Moundridges put together.

[Laura laughs]

Emerson: [laughs] That’s probably accurate.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs] Okay, Emerson, we’ll let you go. We just wanted to see what was up. We’ll see you later.

Emerson: [laughs] Bye.

Ben: So, ladies and gentlemen…

Andrew: Oh boy.

Ben: We just Spied on Spartz.

Welcome Back

Andrew [with show music in background]: Welcome back to the show, everyone! Oh, it’s been a while since I last heard your voices. Well…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] We don’t really talk…

Ben: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: No, we did talk. [laughs]

Ben: Big flub there, Andrew.

Andrew: Anyway, you know what I’m saying. Welcome back to the show. I’m Andrew.

Ben: I’m Ben.

Laura: I’m Laura.

Micah: And I’m Micah.

Andrew: This is the show where we bring you the latest in Harry Potter news, theories, discussions, and so much more, including that fantastic Spy on Spartz. What a way to open the show! How long have we been away? We even skipped an episode [laughs] because we’ve been away for so long.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: Episode 57 is unreleased and might be unreleased for some time. However, it does exist, and it will go out eventually. And by eventually, I could mean five years. It’s going to be a heck of a show to edit together [laughs], but the point is – how’s everyone doing?

Ben: I’m good.

Laura: I’m great! I miss everybody, though. It’s so sad.

Ben: I miss everyone.

Andrew: I know!

Ben: I miss everyone too. Except Laura.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Ben: I’m just kidding. I miss Laura too. No, I’m really not that bad of a guy. These people know me in person.

Andrew: He really isn’t.

Ben: Even though often times I’m perceived as this grumpy teenager, it’s really not that way. I’m fun-loving. Sure, I make comments that cross the line occasionally…

Laura: [laughs] Occasionally?

[Micah laughs]

Ben: …and I can cause controversy. And I like to cause controversy from time to time, but hey! I’m still fun. I’m joyous. Yeah.

Andrew: It’s all… [laughs] You really are.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: It’s that Subway, I’m telling you what. You must have had a Subway before we started recording. [laughs]

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: In case anyone is wondering, Jamie Lawrence is back in Durham where he’s settling down in college, and Eric Scull – well, we just didn’t invite him this week. The point is…

Ben: Well, we tried to invite Jamie. Jamie was originally slated to be on this week, but his internet – his internet conveniently…

Andrew: Didn’t work.

Ben: …fell out, yeah.

Andrew: Oh, we should – oh, there’s a good thing to insert at the end of the show! Me and Ben were trying to help him out with his thing, and we were recording his Skype because [laughs] he talks really slow. So, maybe we’ll include that at the end of the show. Actually, no. Maybe we’ll just tease you with it and never give it to you.

Ben: It was so funny because…

Andrew: I like that better.

Ben: …he sounded like – I don’t know, like he just woke up, or he took 100 pain-killers and he could barely talk. He was slow.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: It sounded like he was slurring his speech. It was like [speaks very slowly] Beeeeennnnnnnn…

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Ben: It was hilarious.

Andrew: We’ll include a quick sample out of that at the end of the show this week. All right, stop recording. Well, we have a fantastic show for everyone this week – but before we do anything else, Micah Tannenbaum is standing by in the MuggleCast news center with the past week’s top Harry Potter news stories.


Micah: The winners of this year’s SyFy Genre Awards were announced last week; and Goblet of Fire won the Best Movie award, Emma Watson took Best Actress and Best Young Actor, while Dan Radcliffe won Best Actor and was the runner-up for Best Young Actor. Try saying that five times fast.

Speaking of the fourth film, HBO will begin airing Goblet of Fire on November 19th at 7 PM EST. It will then replay numerous times through the end of the month. A “making of” special will also air through the entire month, starting on November 7th at 6:45 AM EST.

In a new interview, Julie Walters, the Mrs. Weasley actress, discusses Order of the Phoenix director David Yates and explains how he captures the emotional depth of the book and the atmosphere he creates on-set.

Wrapping up movie news, Toby Jones, the man who voiced Dobby in the second Potter flick, recently told MTV that the ex-house-elf won’t be making an appearance in Order of the Phoenix, but Kreacher will.

As part of Banned Books Week, held last week to raise awareness of books that have been challenged in communities across the US, the American Library Association asked 5,000 people what their favorite banned book was. Unsurprisingly, the Potter series came out on top. To Kill A Mockingbird and James and the Giant Peach came in second and third place, respectively. What’s so bad about James and the Giant…?

While we’re on the topic of banning – as we reported previously, the Georgian mother, Laura Mallory, who campaigned for the Harry Potter books to be removed from Gwinnett County school libraries [in a southern accent] because fundamentally they “promote and glorify witchcraft”, is back at it again. After the Gwinnett Board of Education ruled the books would remain on shelves, Mallory, unsatisfied with the outcome, appealed the decision in a second hearing earlier this week. Mallory rehashed her previous points regarding why the books should go, saying “Witchcraft is being mainstreamed to our kids today but people are not aware of it. They think these books are fantasies but Wicca is a real recognized religion.” But everyone, don’t worry. It’s okay. I hear Laura is actually headed down there right now to set her straight.

On a more positive note, we’re proud to announce that MuggleCast won the top prize at the 2006 Podcast Awards in Ontario, California. The People’s Choice category was awarded to us after receiving over 100,000 votes from listeners and fans. Thanks to everyone who provided their support through the entire voting process, including our friends at PotterCast who we teamed up with! They received their award for Best Entertainment podcast.

Also, if you weren’t able to join us out in the Borders in Westwood for our live show in Los Angeles, California, the show is now available for download, and a transcript will be posted shortly.

Finally, JK Rowling has been updating her site quite a bit lately. I wonder why that is… Hmmm…

That’s all the new for this October 7th, 2006 edition of MuggleCast. Back to the show.

Andrew: Okay, thank you, Micah…

Ben: [Impersonating Micah] Thanks, Andrew.

Micah: Oh, oh. Sorry, sorry.

Andrew: [laughs] Hey, Micah…

Micah: Oh, you’re welcome.

Andrew: I have a funny story.

Micah: Okay?

Andrew: [laughs] Jamie calls you Mic-er. What do you think of that? It’s pretty funny, isn’t it? [laughs]

Micah: Yeah well, Jamie’s British. So, we all have our faults.

Ben: Oh!

Andrew: Hey, we have a MySpace – [laughs] that was – that’s pretty bad.

Ben: Hey people.

[Andrew laughs]

Micah: I’m just kidding. Don’t send me massive amounts of e-mail.

[Andrew laughs]

Andrew: Hey everyone…

Micah: I going to get a thous…

Andrew: Okay, you’re done. You’re done, Micah. Thank you.

Micah: Sorry.

Andrew: Ummm…[laughs]

[Micah laughs]

MuggleCast MySpace and Facebook

Andrew: Don’t forget, everyone, we have a MuggleCast MySpace now. Whether you want to admit it or not, you have a MySpace and you can visit ours at myspace.com/MuggleCastFans. Become our friend and then help spread the word about MuggleCast because we’re trying to get the word out more besides – we just promote it on MuggleNet – it’s started to spread further.

Ben: Mhm. We’re going to take over the world.

Andrew: Because, about one fifth of the world visits MuggleNet. But, what about the other four-fifths? Where do they go? MySpace. So, that’s why we are on MySpace. And Facebook! We also have a Facebook so just do a search for MuggleCast and we should show up there – as a group.

Ben: And if you can’t find the MuggleCast Facebook, you can add me as your friend and then I can get it through me, so…

Andrew: [laughs] Hmm. That sounds suspicious.

Ben: [Laughs] Yeah. I need more Facebook friends.

Andrew: It almost doesn’t sound like you’re having a competition with Jamie to see who can get more Facebook friends.

Ben: No, never. Never, never.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Ben Schoen. Remember the name.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: S-C-H-O-E-N

Andrew: [laughs] Oh, it’s wonderful to be back recording again.

California Podcast

Ben: So, hey, Andrew.

Andrew: Yes, Ben?

Ben: What did you think of California – Podcast?

Andrew: It was super! Thanks for asking, Ben!

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: I thought it was fun too. I mean, it was a great time.

Andrew: Yeah it was. There was about 300 people that showed up.

Laura: It was very intimate.

Andrew: And…

Laura: That’s what I liked about it.

Andrew: Was it? Yeah, it was a different setting wasn’t it?

Laura: Mhm.

Andrew: We were on the second floor – it was this room – it was a circular room. And there were only about a little under a hundred seats and there was a lot of people standing around the outside, but it was a lot of fun. It was a lot of fan interaction too. So, it was good.

Ben: Yeah, I liked it a lot too.

Subway Confrontation

Ben: And, if you guys don’t remember, this was the day that I had the 36 inches of Subway along with the pizza. And, well, I’d just like to clear something up because earlier this week I got an e-mail from angry@disgusted.com.

[Micah laughs]

Andrew: Way to use your real email address…

Ben: Yeah, yeah.

Andrew:…in case we wanted to contact you back with a legit answer.

Ben: And here’s what they said: “I always liked you guys a lot, but you have gotten so pathetic. Well, one of you anyway…”

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: “That I think I may just listen to Leaky from now on.” Who’d want to do that?

Andrew: Oooh!

Ben: “Ben keeps begging people to send him Subway cards. That itself is disgusting because you’ve gone to like New York and LA in the last six months while people listening sit at home and even if we have the money, we have to work to get it and you ask us to send you stuff which you don’t even sound like you appreciate unless it is money or gift cards, something like that. Only Laura ever sounds like she cares that people take the time to make her something that didn’t cost money.”

Laura: Awww.

Ben: Good job, Laura. “Talking about your mailbox and asking for people to give you things is totally conceited anyway. But then, after talking about the battle against childhood obesity – the famous one – so people will send him free stuff, Ben goes and is bragging about how he ate three foot long subs at once. What a jerk. There are kids in the world who don’t have any food. There are kids in America who don’t [pause] and there are kids who seriously battle weight problems. That is so insulting to both groups. Better to ask people to send money to buy food for people in Darfur or someplace where children are starving than to feed Ben’s face. I listen to hear about Harry Potter, not to hear people who just went to Disneyworld and WB Studios and whatever – beg me to send them cards to get free food so they can act like a hog. It is really sad that Ben behaves like this and the rest of you, like Jamie, encourage it and think it is funny. You may all be older than me, but you sure don’t act like it. You should all apologize, especially Ben. And, you should give the cards to a homeless shelter or something to feed people who really are hungry. You may have just won a People’s Choice Award and I’m sorry now that I voted for you, but you are not my choice any longer.”

Andrew: Oooh. Awww. Awww. That hurts. That hurts, disappointed@disgusted, whatever.

Ben: Yeah, I just have a few things to say about this. First of all, I don’t remember the last time – an episode where I asked for Subway gift cards. They kind of just kept coming and I thank people for them, whatever. I mean, you don’t have to send them, it’s not like you’re obligated to. If you feel that Darfur or one of those other situations is something better to send your money to, go ahead and do that. I mean, I’m not saying you’re obligated to send your money to me. [laughs] I mean…

Laura: OperationSudan.org.

Ben: Yeah, or…

Laura: Go there.

Ben: …SaveDarfur.com or whatever it is. You don’t have to send anything to me. I mean, actually from now on, send your money to Darfur. I don’t need it. I can buy my own Subway.

Andrew: Oh, wonderful, wonderful.

Ben: Second of all, I don’t feel it’s conceited for us to ask things because people like to send us stuff. I mean, it’s not like we’re constantly asking for things and say “hey, send whatever to our P.O. Box” – it’s not arrogant. Thirdly, the battle against childhood obesity – she brought up how it’s pathetic that I went and ate 36 inches of Subway – actually, when I was eating the 36 inches of Subway, I thought of this. First of all, I want everyone to know that none of the Subway gift cards went towards purchasing that 36 inches. All that money came out of my own pocket – I knew that would be unethical of sorts. Secondly, I’ve already lost weight and I’m still health conscious. It’s not like I go out eating 36 inches of Subway every day because then I would be the posterhood child for childhood obesity – the posterhood? [laughs] The poster child for childhood obesity.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Another thing is they mention how I should give these Subway gift cards to a homeless shelter. Well, coincidentally enough, one night we were in Los Angeles, we stayed downtown and there was a Subway right around the corner. Anyways, we went down around the corner to the Subway, Andrew and I did, and on the way back we got approached by a homeless person who said, “Guys, I am very hungry right now. I have diabetes. I really need to eat something, it’s absolutely necessary, or else I’m going to have to go to the hospital, I don’t have the money for this.” And you know I didn’t have any cash on me so what did I do? Andrew, tell them what I did.

Andrew: You gave that homeless man a Subway gift card.

Ben: Worth ten dollars.

Andrew: Ten dollars.

Ben: I gave this homeless man this ten dollar Subway gift card. So, I don’t think it’s appropriate to accuse me of being undeserving and arrogant and all that when my intentions are good.

Andrew: Yep.

Ben: So, from now on, from now on don’t send me Subway gift cards. Put your money towards Sudan or whatever. I mean, you never had to do it in the first place; it’s always just been an option. So, I ask you from now on don’t send me Subway gift cards, send the money to a better cause, save darfur dot org.

Andrew: Yeah, guys we’re just having fun. We’re not…

Laura: Very charitable.

iPod Issues

Andrew: We’re not demanding anything. We’re just messing around trying to have some fun. So, anyway, we wanted to address some podcast/iPod troubles that have been coming in. We’ve been getting a lot of complaints lately that MuggleCast screws up your iPods, and this isn’t true it’s actually a problem that occurred with the latest iPod software update. What’s been happening is, for some reason, when you put – this doesn’t happen with everyone’s iPods – but when you put podcast on your iPod, for some reason they freeze and restart or something like that. Luckily, I didn’t have the problem, but a couple people did so we’ve been getting a lot of emails. I just wanted to make it clear it’s not MuggleCast screwing up your iPod, it’s Apple. Blame them.

The People’s Choice

Okay, also and of course the big story of the week. Well, we’ve been off a couple of weeks. But it’s a big story and we want to talk about it.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: Yeah, sorry about that.

Andrew: We apologize, its rough coming back from a trip and then trying to put a show together because – especially during the school year because we all, you know, we all had a lot of school work to make up and business to attend to outside of the podcast. So, anyway, MuggleCast did win the People’s Choice Award at the 2006 Podcast Awards, back on September 29th.

Ben: Seems like ages ago.

Andrew: We were all there. Yeah, it was only like a week – actually it was a week ago today.

Ben: Today, right now as we record this show.

Laura: Mhm.

Andrew: We record on Friday night. This is what we do on Friday night guys.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: We record MuggleCast. [laughs]

Ben: We don’t have friends. We don’t friends? Friends, what are those?

Andrew: Yeah. What are friends? Frynds? What?

[Laura, Ben and Andrew laugh]

Andrew: So, yeah we… Yeah, so we won the Podcast Award. It was a great event, we had a lot of fun. What did you guys think of it?

Ben: I thought it was nice. I mean it was good to go around and meet other people who are involved in podcasting and all that so, yeah I’m grateful we had the opportunity to do that. If course next year we won’t be eligible. So, thanks to all the people who voted for us, Andrew had a chance to speak with the person who conducted the – pretty much the whole organizer of the event afterwards, and he pretty much told us that we crushed everybody. So, that’s thanks to you guys.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Yeah. He was blown away, yeah.

Ben: He was so surprised that Harry Potter could, you know, attract so many people and so many people would vote for us. So yeah, good job everybody.

Andrew: Right.

Laura: It was really great because there were tons of other very, very popular shows there and I had people coming up to me saying, “You’re on MuggleCast.” And they knew who we were, which was just – it was so flattering because it was like, “Wow, you know, you’re a pretty big show and here you are shaking my hand.” So, it was just great to go and get to see all these different people.

Andrew: It was great meeting all the new podcast – well not new, it was great meeting all the podcasters. I met Don and Drew from the Don and Drew Show and my buds Patrick and Adam from the Nobody Likes Onions.

[Micah laughs]

Ben: That is a good show.

Andrew: The Leo Laporte.

Ben: Yeah we met Leo. Andrew and I met Leo. We shook…

Andrew: Jamie was there, too.

Ben: Yeah. Jamie was there, too. We shook his hand. We had a good time with Leo.

Micah: Wasn’t there also…

Ben: He told us he was very impressed with what we are doing.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: The Podcaster of the Year, people. He loves us.

Micah: Wasn’t there also a priest from the Vatican?

Laura: Yeah, that was pretty cool.

Ben and

Andrew: The Catholic Insider.

Ben: It’s actually the number two search result if you search for Harry Potter podcast.

Laura: Really?

Andrew: Yeah, because he does some Harry Potter stuff from time to time. Very good. So, that was the Podcast Awards. Thanks all the…

Micah: They need to work on seating for next year.

Andrew: Seating didn’t go very well but… We walked in and there were like five seats left.

Ben: So…

Andrew: Let’s put it this way, it was so popular…

Ben: So, what we did was, I grabbed a chair, Andrew sat on my lap.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: Jamie sat on his, Kevin sat on his and then Laura was on the very top.

[Andrew laughs]

Order of the Phoenix California Video Game Podcast

Andrew: Before we get to our main discussion, we want to let everyone know that we will, in I guess like three or four weeks, have a special episode of MuggleCast that focuses around the Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix video game, where we will be speaking with producers of the fifth video game from Electronic Arts. It’s going to be a nerdfest galore, yay! Yay, Kevin!

Ben: Kevin, Kevin would definitely be excited about that.

Andrew: So, we need your help, this is why we are bringing it up on the show. We want you guys to send in your questions that you have about the Order of the Phoenix video game to 1-218-20-MAGIC. Kevin is going to have a super time going through all the voice mails and picking out some questions for them. We’re going to choose like 15 to 20 questions, to pose to them, and then you’ll hear their answers on the show. And – what was I going to say? Oh, we’ll put some links to some information about the video game on MuggleCast.com and also MuggleNet will be promoting it there too, so that you guys can read up more about the game and then get some questions for them. We got a little preview of this game when me, Melissa and John hit up the Order of the Phoenix set. It’s looking like a great game, it’s very interactive, you can go around the entire school, do what you want, mess around. So, I am sure everyone will have a lot of questions for them. And the EA guys are really cool. So, for more information visit MuggleCast.com.

Harry Potter Jeopardy!

Ben: Also, wasn’t Harry Potter on Jeopardy! the other day?

Laura: Oh yeah!

Andrew: Yes it was, Ben.

Laura: It was!

Ben: Actually, someone sent me in the questions. They were completely lame, oh my gosh! Let me read a few of them to you. Because you guys all know how Jeopardy works, they give you the answer and you have to say the question, and it says, “In this sport Harry plays the position of Seeker.” Okay, seriously you have to be joking.

Laura: Are you kidding?

Andrew: Oh.

Ben: Yeah, it says, “A half-giant, he’s the game-keeper of Hogwarts.”

Andrew: Who is Umbridge?

Ben: Hagrid [uses silly voice]. “Ron and Harry use this unusual transport to get to Hogwarts for their second year.” Then…

[Laura laughs]

Ben: …”Harry’s nemesis, this member of Slytherin, has a dad named Lucius who is a supporter of Voldemort.” Then, “Any cat could tell you that she teaches Transfiguration magic at Hogwarts.”

Andrew: [in goofy voice] Whoa, ho, ho.

Ben: Yep. These are the exact questions.

Laura: Those were…

Ben: They appeared on the cards, but yeah that’s…

Laura: Some really difficult questions.

Andrew: Little too easy.

Ben: Yeah I know, but I guess if it was – not everyone’s read Harry Potter.

Andrew: It was like Teen Week, so I think that’s why they asked.


Laura: Yeah. Jo’s WOMBATS were nothing next to those questions, huh?

Andrew and Ben: [together] Speaking of WOMBATS.

Ben: Yeah, good transition there.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: So, how did everyone do on their WOMBATS?

Ben: Hey Andrew, Andrew. How’d you do on your WOMBATS? Just curious.

Andrew: Oh, I did great. I got a nothing, because I didn’t take it.

Ben: Awww.

Laura: Mhm.

Micah: Yeah, neither did I.

Ben: Well, you know, we’re sorry excuses for Harry Potter fans. I can feel the hate mail coming already, and I can hear all of you booing us right now because we didn’t take the WOMBATS.

Andrew: Well, we sort of have valid excuses.

Laura: You know what? I can proudly say that despite being in Los Angeles – see that’s these guys’ excuse. They’re saying, “Well, we were in LA. We were too busy to take it.”

Andrew: We were distracted.

Laura: I took my WOMBATS and I got an Exceeds Expectations. Thank you very much.

Andrew: Well, very good. Very good. What was the second round like? Was it any harder than the first round?

Laura: You know what? I honestly thought that the first one was harder.

Andrew: Oh.

Laura: I got an Acceptable the first time, and I thought the questions were a lot more difficult. But at the same time, you really had to be paying attention to the books to do well on this, I think.

Andrew: Did this second round focus around certain style of questions? Or what?

Laura: Ummm.

Andrew: What were some of the questions?

Laura: God, let me remember. It had some stuff about magical creatures, like the first one. There was actually a question that it was all about Muggles; like this one section was about them. And one of the questions, I specifically remember, said, “Muggles are” and it had all of these little checkboxes with, like, opinions below it. And one of them said…

Andrew: Like ignorant, in danger…

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: …inferior to wizards, insensitive to their surroundings, interesting, or irritating facts of like for example?

Laura: Yeah.

[Ben and Laura laugh]

Laura: I liked irritating facts of life, but I didn’t choose that one.

Andrew: Wait, are there correct answers for these?

Ben: I missed out on taking the WOMBATS the first time, so I’m still disappointed in myself.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Awww, geez.

Ben: Because you never know when their going to close the door and I was like, “Oh, I’m going to take the WOMBATS.” Then I log on to MuggleNet and it says, “The door is now closed.” Like, noooo!

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Micah Says, The Door Will Open…On Halloween!

Laura: Micah, do you think you could get Jo to open the door back up?

Ben: Come on Micah.

Micah: Yeah, yeah.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Let’s hear it.

Micah: I’m telling you.

Andrew: Do it.

Micah: October 31st she is going to reveal the title of Book Seven. I’m not joking about that.

Andrew: All right.

Ben: Are you pretty sure about that Micah?

Andrew: Oh Micah, I’m getting excited now.

Ben: Micah, do you have some kind of inside source?

Micah: You know, I think it would be really creepy if the night of the show I had said, “Oh she’s going to open the door later tonight.”

[Laura laughs]

Micah: And then we all went back and…

Wake Up Call

Micah: Well, you guys have an interesting story. Didn’t you guys get woken up?

Laura: Oh yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Yeah.

Micah: At five or six in the morning.

Andrew: That’s a lame story.

Ben: That’s a great story. Okay.

Andrew: Go ahead, tell the story.

Ben: Okay. I’ll tell it. I’ll tell it. It was awesome.

Andrew: [laughs] I can’t stand it.

Ben: Okay.

Andrew: See, now here’s the thing, let me just say something first. If you listened to PotterCast earlier this week, they told like a completely different version of this story. [laughs]

Ben: Oh, did they really?

Andrew: [laughs] That doesn’t make sense at all, but anyway go ahead.

Ben: Okay, here’s what really happened. It was about…

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: It was probably like 9 AM. Wouldn’t you say?

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: It was about 9 AM and I get a knock at the door.

Andrew: We’re in LA.

Ben: We’re in Los Angeles; Andrew and I in one bed and Jamie and someone else was in another. Anyways I get a knock at the door, and I go to the door and I’m like, “Who could this be? Who’s knocking at the door?” I open it up and Sue, Sue Upton from TLC, standing at the door saying, “Ben! Ben! Oh my God! Ben! The door’s open! The door’s open!”

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: And I’m like, “What? What door’s open? I know the door’s open.” And then she said, “No, JKRowling.com. The door is open.” And apparently she had some text message notification service so when she updated her site, the door…

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: It sent her a text message or something, or someone called her. Something like that. Anyways, I go back to…I wasn’t about to post news, because I was so tired. So I go back to the bed and I start prodding Andrew. I’m like, “Andrew, get up. Andrew come on. The doors open, Andrew.” And he rolls over to me, he’s like, “No, it’s not. She wasn’t telling the truth.” I was like, “Oh yes, Andrew. It was a big conspiracy. Melissa and Sue are sitting over there…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: No! I didn’t say that.

Ben: …plotting against us.”

Andrew: [laughs] Well, I did say that.

Ben: It was like, “Yeah. They’re sitting over there plotting against us. Like, oh, we can go wake him up and get him out of bed and get him all riled up if we tell him the doors open.”

Andrew: Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I was still sleeping. I didn’t know Sue came to the door, so…

Ben: Yeah. It’s classic me just to mess with him like I’d say something like…

Andrew: It is.

Ben: “Oh yeah. Sue came to the door, and she wants you to get up and post about it.” But, in reality…

Andrew: So, Ben kept bugging me.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: It got to the point where I was ready to throw him through the window. [laughs]

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: I was so annoyed. [laughs]

Ben: I was like, “Come on just post it. Post it now.” Because, you know, of course TLC waited about two-and-a-half hours until after they’d posted it to come get us up you know.

[Andrew laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] And so then I went on MuggleNet to see if Ciaran posted it, and he didn’t. So I went and I checked out, like, the details on how to open it up and it was so much. I was just like, “Oh, forget this. I’m going back to bed.” [laughs]

Ben: So, we messaged Ciaran. He’s like, “Ciaran, post it.” And he gladly obliged, but yeah. It was a mess.

Andrew: It was funny.

Ben: It was pretty funny. [laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] So, there’s our story. I was so annoyed with you. No one wake me in the morning.

Micah: But you guys are happy with these results, right? I mean, stuff is happening at least.

Andrew: What results? Your results?

Micah: She’s updating the site.

Andrew: Micah Tan the Anchorman gets results. Oh yeah. It’s all because of you Micah.

Ben: She’s scared of you, dude.

Micah: It’s funny. Somebody in Los Angeles, when were at the podcast, gave me a shirt that says, “Jo updated her site because I told her to.”

Ben: That’s awesome.

Andrew: Nice.

[Laura laughs]

Micah: So, thank you to whoever gave that to me.

Andrew: So Micah, that is your prediction? October 31st we’re going to see something?

Micah: October 31st. I’m going to stick with the title. I know she’s going to do an update, but I’m going to go big with it. I’m going to say she’s going to reveal the title.

Ben: No, Micah, Micah. You don’t say….

Laura: And what are you putting on the line here? What if you’re wrong?

Andrew: Yeah. You have to do something if you’re wrong.

Micah: Well, I’m going to look pretty stupid. [laughs]

Ben: Hold on, Micah, you have to say it with confidence. You have to say, “The release date…” Yeah. “The title will be released October 31st.”

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: No question about it, okay?

Micah: Okay. Okay.

Andrew: Good, do it.

Micah: The title of Book Seven will be…

Andrew: No, more, more… No, no, more, more force.

Ben: Come on, Micah.

Andrew: Kind of angry.

Ben: You have to…

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: …lay down the – throw down the law here.

Micah: Well, it doesn’t need to be angry though, it just has to be definitive.

Andrew: Yeah, well I know. It just has to be forceful. It has be like you’re in control.

[Laura laughs]

Micah: The title of Book Seven will be released on October 31st.

Ben: Are you sure, Micah?

Micah: Yeah! 100 percent.

Ben: 100 percent.

Andrew: [laughs] Whoa! 100 percent.

Ben: Oh guys, you heard it here first.

Andrew: I don’t know who you’re talking to. Yeah.

Ben: Guys, imagine if the title of it really is released, how much praise we’re going to get, how much praise Micah is going to get?

Andrew: Yeah. Micah Tan gets results.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Well, because she’s still deciding between two titles, so it’s kind of funny. She came up with the second title in New York City while she was taking a shower. I’ll tell you what, that New York City water really gets ya movin’. [laughs]

Micah: Watch, she’ll do it on November 1st just to spite me.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah. That would really stink, wouldn’t it?

Main Discussion: The Veil

Andrew: Well, let’s talk some Harry Potter now, guys. This week we’re going to talk about the Department of Mysteries but, more specifically, the Veil.

Connections Between the Veil and Thestrals

Laura: Now, Micah, you told me that you got an interesting e-mail about this from a listener talking about what they thought the Veil was.

Micah: Yeah, I’m going credit them, too. Dana, 14 of Ohio, sent in a message saying, “On Episode 56 you put out the theory that Harry could get past the Veil using his Invisibility Cloak. That got me thinking of some way the two could be connected. I thought that maybe the Veil itself was made of the same material as the cloak. So, when people pass through, they don’t die, they just become invisible. That can be why Harry and Luna can still hear the voices.” And they were just wondering what they thought and, of course, they love the show.

Laura: Well, we all know that the Invisibility Cloak is made out of the fur from a Demiguise, which we all know very well, because of a certain trivia contest in Las Vegas.

Ben: You mean the one that we won?

Laura: Yeah, that one!

Andrew: Yeah, that one.

Laura: [laughs] Now, I was going through Order of the Phoenix and Sorcerer’s Stone, and I looked at the descriptions for both of them and the Invisibility Cloak is described as being fluid, laying on the floor and gleaming folds, shining like water woven into material. Now when you look at the description for the Veil, it’s described as being tattered, rippling, ragged. I got the impression of the Veil that it was just a veil. It wasn’t woven out of any kind of creature’s fur, not to mention it’s black. The Invisibility Cloak was described as being silvery-gray. So what do you think about that, Micah? I just don’t think that it could be made out of the same material. It’s a good theory, though.

Micah: Yeah, it’s definitely a good theory. Its just one of those things that you have to sort of take into consideration and, you know, sort of analyze.

Laura: Mhm.

Micah: But based upon the descriptions that you just went over, it’s probably not, but I mean there’s different forms of material – of the same material rather – you just can’t rule it out because they’re different colors.

Laura: Mhm.

Andrew: There still has to be something more to the Veil, though, because… Well, we’ll get into this later on, obviously, there has to be, but – ’cause, why would Harry and Luna only be able to hear voices beyond it? If you’re trying to relate it to the Invisibility Cloak…

Laura: That’s interesting, though, Andrew, because…

Andrew: …because they’ve both seen death.

Ben: The Thestrals.

Laura: Andrew because – sorry, Ben.

Ben: I’m saying, like, the Thestrals. You had to see someone die in order to actually see the Thestrals.

Andrew: Right.

Ben: Maybe it has something to do with that.

Laura: But you know what? Do you guys think that Jo is kind of pulling a fast one on us here? Kind of assuming that we will think that the Veil is all about death because, if you remember, it wasn’t just Harry and Luna, it was Neville and Ginny, too. It said that they were both staring at the Veil entranced. Ron and Hermione were the only ones who weren’t affected by it. And we know that Harry, Luna, and Neville have all witnessed death but we don’t know about Ginny. When would she have witnessed a death?

Micah: When did Neville witness a death?

Andrew: Well, Ginny was in the Chamber of Secrets, so maybe something happened in there.

Ben: Right, but I don’t know if there was any death going on there.

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: Are we sure that death has a direct connection to this, though?

Laura: That’s what I’m saying, though. I’m saying that because of Ginny, there has to be some sort of different connection between those four people. Otherwise, Ginny would have had to have seen a death.

Andrew: She almost saw a death in Chamber of Secrets when Harry almost died.

Laura: But he didn’t die.

Andrew: He almost died.

Laura: But that doesn’t count.

Ben: But that’s different, its like…

Laura: “Almost” only counts in Horseshoes and hand-grenades. [laughs]

Ben: Yeah. “I almost won a million dollars.” Doesn’t mean you’re a millionaire.

Laura: But if someone close to Ginny died, wouldn’t the chances be that that person was close to Ron, too?

Micah: Yeah, what about Neville, though? Who did he witness?

Laura: His Grandfather, I think?

Micah: Oh, okay. I just wasn’t sure.

Laura: I remember during their Care of Magical Creatures lesson, they were looking at the Thestrals and Hagrid asked him who he’d seen die.

Micah: Oh, okay.

Was the Ministry Built Around the Veil?

Laura: But it just – there’s something about it that doesn’t seen natural. Like, when you think about it, there’s no actual archway to the afterlife. It’s not like, for instance, they go into the Department of Mysteries and there’s this veil there. It’s not like you walk into the White House and there is some sort of veil leading you to death. [laughs] It just seems bizarre to me that this would be here. Why did… Do you guys think that the Ministry built this thing, or…

Ben: Well, of course, I mean, it’s not like it’s going to just appear out of nowhere. If it’s a veil…

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: Well, here’s the thing. And I hate talking about the movies because to me it sounds arrogant because I’m like, “I saw the set! Blah blah blah.”

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: But, they had an artist’s rendering of the Veil on the set and we talked about this at the Leaky Mug, this is the only reason I’m bringing it up, W.B. [laughs] I’m not, you know, we’re not going to spill all the details here but, from the artist’s rendering, you can tell that it looks like the Ministry was built around it. That Veil was connected to the rock, this, this… It’s hard to explain because… I was really surprised by it, because it wasn’t like you’re traditional veil. It looked very – the whole thing looked very old and tattered and looked… It was crooked and it was all weird, but it definitely looked like the Ministry was built around it. Because it was connected to the rock. The Veil was connected to the rock. The ground.

Micah: And you have to wonder what kind of input J.K. Rowling has when those things are created.

Ben: Well, I remember people saying that with the death scene – I mean, not the death scene, but at the beginning of Sorcerer’s Stone in the movie where – like where Voldemort comes into Harry’s house and he kills his parents or whatever. You see like. there’s just this scene at the beginning. You know what I’m talking about.

Laura: Mhm.

Ben: Apparently, J.K. Rowling had a say in that. It was like very specific about what went on.

Laura: Yeah.

Ben: So, it could be likely that Jo said, “Yeah, the Veil is built – the Ministry was built around the Veil,” you know. But to me, to me, what I think that the Veil is just a place where, like, I don’t know, where they study death, you know? I’ve heard that theory quite a bit. And it makes sense because…

Andrew: It’s not a theory. Jo actually said that.

Ben: Oh, did she really?

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Well, then, yeah. Then…

Andrew: In the interview with Emerson and Melissa.

Ben: Sorry, I feel so out of the loop.

Andrew: Melissa said, “Was it used as an execution chamber or just studying?” And J.K. Rowling said, “No, it’s just studying. The Department of Mysteries is all about studying. They study the mind, the universe, death, and in this case, where the Veil is was the Death Room,” or something.

Laura: Mhm.

Andrew: It’s called the Death Room or something like that.

The Veil is the Gateway to…?

Laura: Now, if we’re assuming that the Ministry was built around this veil, this archway, what is it about it that they’re trying to keep so secret? Because I don’t really think that we can assume – I’ve seen a lot of people assuming that when you die in the wizarding world, you go beyond the Veil. And I don’t think that’s so, because if that were the case, then the Veil would be common knowledge. Like people would think of it as like going to Heaven or doing, you know, whatever a specific person’s religion…

Ben: Yeah, something, something has to be special about the Veil itself for that to be in the Department of Mysteries. Like, what’s so mysterious about it – when you go through the Veil, is it really the afterlife you’re going to? Because I mean, does it make sense for them to hide it then? I mean, what’s the big deal? Why is it hidden? What’s so secretive about it?

Laura: Mhm. And…

Andrew: Well, it has to be protected because then anyone can just jump
through it and kill themselves.

Ben: Right, but you can kill yourself in a multitude of ways. It’s like
saying we should get rid of all shotguns…

Andrew: But that way is so easy.

Ben: …so people can’t kill themselves.

Andrew: I mean, also, the thing is, they were transfixed by it. They were
attracted to it. It’s not just that you can so easily die by walking through it, but you can also, inadvertently, become attracted to it. It pulls you in.

Laura: Yeah. So, do you guys think it’s evil?

Andrew: How can it be evil?

Laura: Because if it – well, if it causes death. Harry said that – hang on,
I’ve got the quote here. It says, “Harry felt a very strong inclination to
climb up on the dais and walk through it.” Now, if it causes death and it
makes you want to walk through it, I’m going to assume that it’s not a good

Andrew: I don’t know, it’s like a cat. When it looks at something shiny it
wants to touch it.

Laura: Okay, but a cat doesn’t die when it touches something shiny.

[Micah, Ben and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Well, Harry doesn’t know that…

Micah: If it’s a blender it does.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: Harry doesn’t know if you walk through it you’re going to die. So,
of course you might want to go up to it and be like, “Whoa, what’s this?”

Laura: Yeah, but still, if it kills you – if it draws you in and unexpectedly kills you – it’s kind of evil, isn’t it?

Andrew: Right, well, right.

Micah: I think he raised…

Andrew: Yes, but you’re coming to a conclusion that it draws you in. I mean
you could just… I see what you’re saying, but I wouldn’t consider it…

Ben: I mean it’s natural, it’s natural…

Andrew: [laughs] …evil. It’s a thing. That’s like calling a tree evil.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: Yeah, okay. Hold on, if you see a… No, hold on a second. If you see a…

Andrew: [laughs] “You’re trying to kill me! You’re not putting out enough oxygen!”

[Laura laughs]

Ben: If you see, if you see a hole in the wall…

Andrew: Mhm.

Ben: …you’re automatically going to be intrigued by it, interested by it…

Andrew: Right.

Ben: …regardless of whether what’s on the – you want to figure out what’s on the other side. I mean, the reason that Sirius fell through the Veil wasn’t because, you know, he was like, “Oh my gosh, this is so interesting.” It was because he got knocked back into it by Bellatrix.

Laura: Yeah, look. Listen to this. Order of the Phoenix, chapter 34
pg. 775, says, “On the other side Ginny and Neville were staring,
apparently entranced at the veil, too.”

Ben: Was this after Sirius died?

Laura: No this was before.

Andrew: No, it was before.

Laura: Whenever they were exploring. And these four: Harry, Luna, Neville, and Ginny were all entranced by it, while Ron and Hermione were saying, “Come on, you guys, I can’t hear anything, let’s go.”

Andrew: Mhm.

Ben: Well, then it probably has to relate with seeing death, then.

Laura: Well then, doesn’t that beg the question, who has Ginny seen die?

Micah: The Basilisk.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: What about Tom Riddle?

Micah: Yeah.

Ben: Never thought of that.

Laura: He didn’t die, though. He wasn’t…

Ben: Yeah, he did. I mean, depends what you classify as dying.

Laura: …a person. He was a piece of a soul, he was shattered.

Ben: I guess that’s true.

Laura: And I’ve gotten the impression from Jo that whenever you, you know,
you break your soul up like that, you don’t count as being alive anymore. Hagrid even said it, “he’s not even alive.”

Ben: Oh, he’s alive, but just…

Laura: He just exists.

Ben: He’s a fragment of what he used to be.

[Micah laughs]

Ben: But something…

Micah: But to go…

Ben: Go ahead, Micah.

Micah: I just wanted to go back to what you said before about the Veil being the – is it the only barrier between life and death? It’s interesting because if you think that it is, then that drawing that Andrew brought up kind of makes more sense because, then, if that is the only passageway, the Ministry, it makes sense for it to be built around it.

Laura: Mhm.

Micah: But if it’s not, if there is some other passageway out there it kind of – you want to know, how did it get there?

Ben: Well, it’s…

Micah: How did it get to the Ministry?

Ben: Right. Well, is it possible that the Veil could be, like where, you know, right now if I died, it’s only – I can’t come back from being dead. Do you understand what I’m saying?

Laura: Mhm.

Ben: So, is it possible, if Harry goes to the
Veil, tosses a rope down there, “Sirius! Sirius!”

[Micah laughs]

Ben: Just pull him on out.

Laura: But the only…

Ben: No, no, not that, really. I mean, is it possible for Sirius to return,
since the way that he died was going through the Veil? If you know what I’m

Laura: I don’t think so. Because if you look at the way the Veil is
described, it’s not like it’s a veil leading into another room. Harry went
around and looked at the other side of it. It was literally like he fell
through that archway and disappeared.

Ben: But, is the Veil a one way street or is it a…

Andrew: It’s got to be a one way street because, otherwise, Lupin wouldn’t
have said to Harry that Sirius is dead, he’s not coming back. If there was a chance, if somehow people could come out of that Veil, I think he would have said so.

Ben: Okay.

Micah: But it just doesn’t make a lot of sense to me that, unless that is
sort of the passageway into the Beyond, that…

Ben: Then why would they keep it secret?

Micah: …then every single wizard that dies, or witch that dies, is behind there. You know what I mean?

Laura: Yeah, but why wouldn’t they know about it? You know? If that’s where
everyone goes when they die, how could they not – how could it not be common knowledge?

Micah: But Lupin seems to know, though.

Ben: I don’t think it’s truly an afterlife. I think it’s like a gateway to the afterlife.

Micah: Right.

Ben: I mean, it’s not like saying, “Behind the Veil is…” I mean, it’s like, behind the Veil will probably be like, your, you know, depending on what religion you are, your Heaven, your Hell, whatever, your Paradise, Abraham’s bosom, or whatever you believe in, and I’m not sure that, like, they would think, “Oh, behind the Veil is, like behind the Veil is behind the Veil,” like that’s a location, you know? I assume they think when they die they go to Heaven, Hell, like their own form of their own afterlife, not necessarily, “beyond the Veil.” They don’t think of dying, going, “beyond the Veil.” If you know what I’m saying.

Laura: Do you think it’s a sort of Purgatory? Maybe? I’m thinking about if
it does lead somewhere, what if it’s kind of a Limbo between two worlds?
Like, what if you’re sort of stuck there? You know what I mean?

Micah: But didn’t Lupin – you just said that nobody else seems to know about it – but Lupin seemed pretty confident that Sirius was dead.

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Because he grabbed Harry, and he said, “He’s gone, he’s gone.”

Laura: Well…

Andrew: And I mean, Sirius knew what the hell was about to happen, too, because he… [sighs] Laura, do you have the page open? I was just reading it earlier.

Laura: Oh, no. I closed it. It said something like…

Andrew: [sarcastically] Oh, Laura. You – ah – geez…

Laura: No, I remember the quote! I remember the quote.

Andrew: No, off my show. Off my show.

[Micah laughs]

Laura: I remember the quote! Shut up!

Andrew: Harry… No, I’m just kidding. It’s not my show, I hate it when people say that.

Laura: It said something along the lines of, “the laughter had not quite died from his godfather’s face,” and all this stuff.

Andrew: Oh, I’m getting it. Right, right.

Laura: He was shocked.

Andrew: Oh, you wait one second. I have my…

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: …U.S. paperback. Yeah, “The second jet of light hit him squarely on the chest. The laughter had not quite died from his face, but his eyes widened in shock.” So, it seems like he knew what was about to happen.

Laura: Well, I always attributed that to just being stunned.

Ben: Yeah.

Laura: Like I’m not sure if he was really thinking about, “Oh, crap, I’m about to fall backwards through the Veil.”

Andrew: But, “The laughter had not quite died from his face.” That’s what lead me to think that…

Laura: Well, yeah, because he was laughing at Bellatrix.

Andrew: Right.

Ben: Why would he laugh in the face of defeat? I don’t get that.

Laura: No, because he’d just been laughing at her a few moments before.

Ben: Okay, yeah.

Andrew: Because he said, “Come on, you can do better than that,” when she tried to put a jinx on her, I think it was.

Ben: And he was probably shocked because he was kind of being arrogant saying, “Oh, pretty much I’m better than you, there’s no way you can beat me,” and then, BAM! He gets nailed. [laughs]

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: Yeah.

Why Didn’t Harry Ask More About the Veil?

Micah: Something else that is interesting is, why doesn’t Harry ask more
questions about what exactly it is?

Laura: Yeah, I thought that in Half-Blood Prince he would have…

Andrew: Yeah! That’s what bugged me, too! [laughs]

Laura: …wanted to know. I figured we were going to learn so much about the Veil in Half-Blood Prince, and we didn’t.

Ben: I really didn’t expect to, because I thought – I don’t know. It just didn’t seem like – I thought the Ministry would be saved for the last.

Laura: Well, I figured – I didn’t think we’d find out, you know, exactly what it was, but I figured we’d hear more about it.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: I don’t even think the word ‘veil’ was in that book.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah. Well, it leads me to wonder, why didn’t Harry just ask Dumbledore at the end of Book Five when he was talking to him in his office?

Micah: Yeah, exactly.

Andrew: What gives, Harry?

[Laura laughs]

Ben: Because, maybe it didn’t come to mind, and maybe JKR…

Andrew: Yeah, but it was Sirius!

Ben: …needed to keep that detail out until the last possible moment. [laughs]

Andrew: Probably.

The Veil in Book Seven

Ben: So, what about the Veil in Book Seven? I mean, do you think Harry is going to use it? I, personally…

Andrew: It’s got to be brought up.

Laura: Oh, yeah. He’s going to have to go.

Ben: Of course, yeah, she has to tie that up somehow. And, you know, throughout Book Seven Harry is going to have to do a lot of investigating, just in general, acquire as much knowledge as possible, you know. There’s talk about he’s going to return to Godric’s Hollow, all these places, and the Ministry of Magic has to be one of them in order…

Laura: Mhm. There’s been a lot of talk about Harry going back to Hogwarts to do research, and I don’t think so. I think if he does research, it’s going to happen at the Department of Mysteries. Because that’s the place that holds all of the answers that he needs; especially the one door that he couldn’t get open, that had “the power of love” behind it, allegedly.

Micah: But, if you look at a lot of the different sort of heroic tales, there is always that journey into the underworld.

Laura: Mhm.

Micah: Before he can finally complete his quest, there’s always somebody there that knows some piece of information.

Back to Comparing the Veil and Invisibility Cloak

Andrew: Getting back to the Invisibility Cloak, did we really answer this?

Laura: I, personally, don’t think that they’re one and the same.

Micah: They seem to have similar qualities.

Andrew: Yeah, which is interesting, but what was that girl’s theory, Micah, that it just makes them invisible?

Laura: That room would be pretty crowded, though. [laughs]

Andrew: Yeah. Well, if it makes you invisible…

Micah: No, no, no, that’s not what she said.

Laura: It just seems like, if that were the case, then there would have been no issue with Ron and Hermione hearing any of the whispering.

Andrew: Right.

Micah: Well, if it’s a big Invisibility Cloak, it’s just covering what’s beyond it. You know what I mean?

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: It can’t be a big Invisibility Cloak. That sounds so goofy.

Ben: Yeah, because it isn’t like there’s a… It isn’t like if you look behind there, there’s going to be like, a million people standing right there.

[Micah laughs]

Ben: It doesn’t work like that.

Andrew: Yeah.

[Laura laughs]

Micah: She just said that, the Veil may be made of the same material as the Cloak. So, when people pass through the Veil, they don’t die, they just become invisible.

Ben: I don’t think…

Laura: But why wouldn’t Sirius come running up and be like, “Hey, Harry, I’m invisible!” You know? [laughs]

Ben: Yeah, and JK Rowling said that she had to kill off a character in Book Five.

Laura: Yeah, she did, actually.

Andrew: That is close to Harry.

Ben: She was very upset about it, and I doubt it was, in Emerson’s words,
“Martin Miggs the Mad Muggle.” I’m pretty sure it was Sirius. I mean, there’s no doubt. [laughs]

Andrew: Yeah.

Tangent: Seeing Sirius Again

Micah: Well, it doesn’t mean we won’t see him in some form.

Laura: I don’t think so. I’m not one of those that subscribes to the…

Andrew: No, we have to.

Laura: …the theory that…

Andrew: He’s his godfather.

Laura: Okay, but… [laughs]

Andrew: And people question, why did he play such a big role in Book 3 and then
killed off in Book Five? There has to be something more to it, like in Book Seven he, I don’t know…

Laura: Because there was nothing else to do with him.

Andrew: Well, here’s a question.

Laura: Even Jo said that he had become a brooding presence in the books. He was done. [laughs]

Andrew: Here’s a question. How could Sirius come back? The two-way mirrors? We’ve sort of discussed that. The portrait?

Ben: I think that has to relate to it somehow, the two-way mirror.

Laura: I don’t know if Harry’s going to use that to communicate with Sirius, necessarily.

Andrew: Well, it all comes down to, if he had his two-way mirror with him when he fell through, which…

Ben: I don’t know. I seem to think we’re missing our guess about the two-way mirror thing.

Laura: You know what I think it depends a lot on? What exactly death is in the wizarding world. All we know is that when you die, you’re dead. We don’t know if you choose not to return as a ghost, if you have any afterlife, or if it all just goes black. I mean, we don’t know. If that’s the case, then there is no way Sirius can communicate with Harry.

Micah: Does your soul travel down…

Laura: Yeah.

Micah: [laughs] …to the Department of Mysteries?

JKR Defining Death

Andrew: It seems like Jo tries to stay away from explaining death.

Laura: I don’t know.

Andrew: Because it’s a very close and touchy subject.

Ben: Well, it depends on…

Laura: Well, it was…

Ben: I don’t know. Because she said, well, Dumbledore said that there are things much worse than death. And you hear in the Department of Mysteries, you hear Voldemort say to Dumbledore, “There is nothing worse than death, Dumbledore.” Blah, blah, blah.

Andrew: Although, could you imagine if she started talking about what would happen after death?

Ben: Oh yeah, of course! She can’t define what happens after death because then the religious radicals really are going to go nuts.

[Laura and Micah laugh]

Ben: Because, that’s too much, I mean…

Laura: I’m calling you out, Laura Mallory. Calling you out.

Ben: [laughs] Yeah.

Laura: No, the thing is, though…

Andrew: We should talk about her again for a second, later.

Laura: If she doesn’t define death, then there’s absolutely no way that we’re going to see Dumbledore, Sirius, Lily, James, or anyone else who has ever died in the series.

Andrew: Right, but we could still see them in another form.

Ben: Well, I don’t know.

Laura: Yeah, this is true.

Ben: That’s a good point, but what I don’t see… I don’t know about… She’s not going to define death in a way, in a religious sense, you know what I’m saying? Because then she’s…

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Because that’s when she’ll cross the line in the eyes of many people, like Christians, Muslims, whatever religion you are. Then she may cross the line. But as long as it’s sort of like a vague representation of the afterlife, I don’t really see there being really much of a problem with it. I mean, it is a fantasy book. Gandalf came back from the dead – that’s
not possible, you know? Except I have a thing, Harry Potter has just gotten a lot of notoriety.

Micah: We know it’s not possible for Dumbledore.

Ben: Right.

Laura: Well…

Micah: That we know. We don’t know about anybody else. And until she actually says it herself, I’m…

Laura: Well, Jo said Sirius is dead. [laughs] I mean…

Ben: Right, but another thing is, it’s important to remember is…

Micah: It doesn’t mean he’s not going to make an appearance.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: …that we cannot bring people back to life.

Micah: Right.

Ben: You know what I’m saying? But Jo – I keep referring to Jo, to Dumbledore as Jo, because it’s really her words – but Dumbledore said that those who love you, even though they may not be there physically, they truly haven’t left. You know? It’s that type of thing.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Their presence will still always be felt.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Harry’s always going to remember what he learned from Sirius. Sirius is always going to be in the back of his mind. So, it’s not like Sirius truly is dead – he’s dead in the physical sense, but in a personal sense he’s still Harry’s godfather. He’s really – he’s still there, in a way. His influence remains, just he’s no longer there to add any further input.

Andrew: What I’m saying is that, if he does come back, he’ll come back in a different form, because maybe the Veil didn’t really kill him, but in Bono’s words, he’ll be “all that he can’t leave behind.”

Ben: [sings] It’s all that you can’t leave behind…

Laura: Yeah, the only thing is, though, I’m not sure how I feel about…

Andrew: Laura, shhh. [sings] All that you fashion, all that you…

Ben: Sorry, sorry.

Laura: [sighs] I can’t believe you were shushing me.

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Here I am, talking about Harry Potter on a Harry Potter show and you shush me to sing.

Andrew: Hey, hey, hey, we haven’t had a U2 moment in a while, we had to have one.

[Ben laughs]

Laura: Okay, no, you had plenty of U2 moments before we recorded. Thank you very much. Now, as I was saying…

[Andrew fakes crying]

Laura: Now, I can’t even remember. [laughs] I’m sorry! I’m sorry.

[Andrew sniffles]

Laura: Anyway, the thing is, Voldemort fears death so much that I don’t think that the series can finish without us learning about what death is in Harry’s world.

Andrew: Any final conclusions from anyone? I mean, I guess we covered all the bases here. So, we really covered everything about the Veil. [laughs]

Laura: Yeah.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: And there’s not much to cover in the first place, but we covered everything there is. So…

Micah: Well, wait. I’ll ask one more question.

Andrew: Oh, okay.

Who Made The Veil?

Micah: If it’s not made out of the same material, right, as the Invisibility Cloak – we really didn’t touch on, then, who made it.

Ben: Actually, George Washington’s wife knitted it.

Micah: Martha?

Ben: Martha knitted it.

Micah: [laughs] That’s genius.

Ben: No, I don’t know if it’s really necessary to find out who made the cloth that covered the Veil.

Laura: Well, what if it’s…

Ben: It’s probably a linen, a cotton substance, probably.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: It’s a – what?!

[Laura and Micah laugh]

Andrew: No.

Laura: [laughs] What if it’s something along the lines of Stonehenge? It’s one of those really weird things…

Andrew: Right.

Laura: …that someone built, but we have no clue because it’s so old.

Andrew: Because again, it looked like – in this artist’s rendering – it was part of the earth. And in the book, I’m pretty sure that Dumbledore does say – Harry asks him, or someone asks someone, and Dumbledore says that the Veil was there for as long as the Ministry had been there, if not longer.

Laura: Wow, the Ministry must be pretty old, [laughs] when you think of it that way.

Studying Death

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah. Yeah, I’m pretty sure, I’m 99% sure that’s in the book. But, also, this Veil area – the Death Room – is where you study. How do you study death? And do they still study death?

Laura: Well, what you do Andrew…

Ben: Actually, they push…

Andrew: Like do they just chuck stuff through it and it comes back out?

Ben: They threw puppies, they throw puppies through it.

Andrew: Throw puppies through it?

Ben: They throw puppies through the Veil.

Laura: I was going to say that they pick their least favorite person on a podcast and they throw them through.

Ben: Then, bye, Laura.

Laura: No, I was actually thinking of you, Ben.

Ben: Bye, Eric. Bye, Eric.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Just kidding.

Andrew: He’s already through.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: No, because it makes me – it kind of annoys me. Why don’t you just throw a fishing line in there, see what happens, reel it out…

Laura: [laughs] See if someone grabs on to it?

Andrew: Or just stick your hand through. Seriously. Why can’t you just stick your hand through?

Laura: Okay, why don’t you just…

Andrew: I’m serious. I’m being serious.

Laura: …go stick your hand through something that kills people when they go through it, and let me know how it goes.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: No, I’m just saying, why don’t you test it, why don’t you – maybe they have.

Laura: I don’t know. Wasn’t there a theory…

Andrew: I’m being serious, though. [laughs] Not Sirius Black! [rings bell] Ooh-ho-ho-ho!

Laura: Owww.

[Micah laughs]

Andrew: Anyway.

Laura: Wasn’t there a theory discussed – I think we talked about this on a show way back at the beginning – that someone brought up, what if going through the Veil turns you into a Dementor?

Ben: No.

Andrew: Oooh. Interesting, but he’s dead. So…

Laura: I know he’s dead.

Andrew: He’s dead, he’s dead.

Laura: But it’s kind of along the lines of, what if the Veil is made out of – that was pre-Book Six that that theory came about. [laughs]

[Micah laughs]

Andrew: But how do you study death?

Ben: I don’t know, there’s…

Andrew: How can they use the Veil to study death?

Ben: …there’s a big textbook about it.

Laura: Well, see, you know what? And this could just be me looking into it too much, but Jo said it wasn’t used as a torture chamber.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: And I’m kind of wondering, how do you study death without throwing people through this Veil?

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Laura: I’ve kind of always wondered, I’m like, what if they took Azkaban prisoners and just threw them through this veil just to test death, see what was going on with it? What if they took the ones who had had their souls sucked out by Dementors and just shoved them through?

Andrew: Why don’t you just…

Laura: What then? But then, wouldn’t that be, technically, considered torture?

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: I mean, I guess it depends on how you define torture.

Laura: So, then, the only other solution, if they’re not throwing people through it, then someone has to go into it.

Andrew: Unless they’re just using it to hear the voices that are coming from out of it.

Laura: Yeah, but only certain people can hear them.

Andrew: Right, and then it would just be those people who are able to hear the voices that would be studying death.

Laura: I don’t know, it just, it seems like a waste for it to be there and not have any kind of interaction with it. You know, it just seems like…

Micah: Well, we don’t know that.

Laura: Something’s…

Micah: We just haven’t been told that.

Laura: Something’s got to be going in there. Something has got to go through that Veil.

Andrew: Not really, because you can’t observe what happens after someone goes through it, and if it’s a one-way street, so to speak. That’s why I’m thinking that they can only use it to hear voices.

Micah: Well, there’s probably a way that they could communicate with whomever’s on the other side of that…

Laura: Two-way mirror.

Micah: …one would think.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: No, that’s just the case with Sirius and James, I think.

Micah: No, because, I mean…

Laura: No, no, no. It was a joke, Andrew

Micah: …if the Veil was there…

Andrew: Oh.

Micah: …beforehand, before the Ministry even was there…

Andrew: And they built it around it, which, really, that is how it looked.

Micah: …then, the chances are that there was already someone or something behind the Veil. So, perhaps they’ve been working on a way to communicate with those that are there.

Laura: Maybe. Did you guys also notice that the chamber it was in, it was described a lot like the courtroom Harry had been in at the beginning of the book? It had lots of seats…

Andrew: Is it – doesn’t it sort of look like a coliseum?

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: Like, seating. Yeah.

Laura: And, so, you’re wondering, how many people do they have studying this?

Andrew: Hmmm, yeah. Yeah, but those weren’t… Was that Ministry-built too? I wish I remembered that picture. I should’ve taken a picture of the picture.

Laura: What if it was, at one time, used for torture? Maybe they don’t use it that way anymore.

Andrew: I don’t know, how could you consider it torture? Once you throw them through, they’re done, it’s not like…

Ben: Yeah.

Laura: But it’s still killing them. [laughs]

Ben: Right, but that’s not torture. Why don’t you use the Cruciatus Curse if you’re going to torture them?

Laura: So, so you’re saying, you’re saying, Ben, that if we, if we kill somebody, but we don’t cause them any pain, it’s not torture?

Ben: Not at all.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: Well, what… Tell me, tell me, what would you rather die…

Laura: You…

Ben: How would you rather die?

Laura: Okay, it doesn’t…

Ben: Have, have – go through a guillotine…

Laura: It doesn’t matter.

Ben: …have your head cut off, or would you rather be electrocuted, where you die a lot more slowly?

Laura: It, okay, it doesn’t matter.

Ben: I think you’d rather have it be quick, than…

Laura: It doesn’t matter what you prefer. It doesn’t matter. The circumstance doesn’t matter. The fact is you’re still taking away a person’s life.

Ben: Right, but that’s not torture. You’re not torturing them. Torture is…

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: …like when you…

Laura: Yeah, it’s torture leading up to it.

Andrew: A painful death.

Ben: How? How?

Laura: It’s torture leading up to it, when you’re like, “I’m about to die.”

Ben: Oh, you mean when you’re pushing the… Yeah, but that’s not torture.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: Torture is like extensive punishment, and…

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: …you don’t even have to kill them.

Andrew: [sighs] That’s the… Yeah, we don’t need to make…

Laura: I don’t agree.

Andrew: …a discussion out of that, but…

Laura: I don’t agree.

Andrew: Final conclusions: I say, Veil is a portal to death, you can hear the voices, so they can study the voices, hear the death – hear dead people, I mean.

Laura: I don’t think the Veil is the only path to the afterlife. I think it’s a specific…

Andrew: Well, there’s the other one, which is stabbing you in the throat.

[Laura and Micah laugh]

Laura: God, Andrew! You make me cry.

Andrew: Well, it’s a portal to death, right? Not you personally. I’m just saying as a…

Laura: [still laughing] No, I think that it is a very specific path to a section of underlife. I just don’t think that you go through there. It would be like, for instance, if you’re talking about an afterlife, like we would imagine it. It’s not like you have six doors, and you go through one of them, and you still get to the same place. I’m thinking of it as, you get into this place that is an afterlife, but you can’t get out, and it’s not where everyone else goes, if you go through the Veil.

Andrew: Do you have a final thought on the subject, Ben?

Ben: Ben Schoen’s – I’m like Jerry Springer, it’s Ben Schoen’s final thought.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: The Veil, it’s a big mystery. That’s all, that’s all I know about it. I don’t think it’s the only – I don’t think there’s like a portal to the afterlife, there’s something that’s special about the Veil. It may… It could be a portal to the afterlife.

[Micah laughs]

Ben: But I don’t think, you know, people think, “Oh, when I die I go behind the Veil.” I think, if it’s a portal to anything, it’s like a portal to Heaven or Hell or whatever. I mean, it’s not like, “Oh, you die, you go behind the Veil where you whisper to people as they walk by.” [laughs] It doesn’t work like that.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Right.

Ben: That’s my last thought.

Laura: Micah, what’s your final thought?

Micah: I think it may just be, because there’s actual whispering that’s taking place, maybe it’s just the collection of souls, in a way, that they’re studying. Maybe those that are – just got caught. I don’t know, it’s really weird, but I like the whole idea that the Ministry was built around this thing, and that this thing has been there for quite some time. And building the Ministry around it is a way to protect it, and if it really is that important, and Jo sort of follows the whole line of this being some sort of heroic tale, which, you know, she never follows mainstream, but I think that we’ll see, definitely, something interesting will be revealed about it in Book Seven. I’m not saying Harry is going to through the Veil, or whatever, but maybe he uses it for his own purposes.

Andrew: That was a good talk. That was a good – geez, that was over a half hour. That was a solid 45 minutes. [laughs]

Laura Mallory

Andrew: Laura and Micah, there’s been something that’s been bugging all of us, but you two, especially.

Laura: Well, as everyone knows, Laura Mallory, who is a Gwinnett County, Georgia, mother of four – she’s actually, she’s about 30 minutes away from me – has been campaigning to get the Potter books removed from the Gwinnett County school libraries. Well – oh, God, what day was it that that was?

Micah: It was two days ago? Was it two days ago?

Laura: I don’t even remember. Two days ago? Okay, well, a couple of days ago, she took her hearing to the state, and she basically, she appealed to the State Supreme Court to get the books banned from the school libraries. What I found interesting this time, though, was she actually acknowledged some of the good themes in the books. Like friendship, loyalty, good versus evil, which was weird to me because this whole time, she’s been saying the books are evil, and now she’s saying that they kind of, you know, go for good versus evil, or good triumphing over evil.

Andrew: Mhm. Micah, do you have anything to add?

Micah: I just don’t understand the whole point behind banning these books. I mean, there are themes in almost any classic book that you can sort of look at and say you know what, “There’s a problem with this and I don’t want my child to read it,” and I think it should just be as simple as that. If she doesn’t want her children to read these books, then don’t let them read it. I mean, they’re going to come to a certain age where they’re going to start doing whatever it is that they feel is necessary, and if they want to pick up and read a Harry Potter novel, that’s their choice, but she’s the supervisor now. She’s the guardian of them until they’re 18 years old. If she feels that it’s not the place of the child to read the book, that’s fine, but I don’t think she should be imposing her will on other people.

Laura: Mhm. You know what I find interesting about that? She recommended that children read other books, such as The Chronicles of Narnia, and I realize that Narnia is a very – it’s, you know, very religiously based; however, she talks about how Harry lies, cheats, and steals. Well, what can you say about Edmund from Narnia? He betrayed his family, and it was a mistake. Of course, he realized that, but it’s another life lesson, just like Harry learns.

Micah: Not to mention there’s a witch in the story!

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: I know! And they sacrifice Aslan! She goes on about evil blood sacrifice, and I’m like, “Ummm… Aslan much?”

Andrew: You know, guys, this is buggin’ me. This is really grindin’ my gears.

Micah: Uh oh. It’s what’s buggin’ Andrew now.

Andrew: This is really – this makes me want to “Get a Butterbeer.” Makes me want to say, “What’s Buggin’ Andrew.”

[Micah laughs]

Andrew: But, how about we give her a call? Try to give her a call? Okay. Let’s do it.

Laura: Well…oh…okay.

[Phone rings]

[Phone rings again]

[No answer]

[Still no answer]

Andrew: [laughs] Leave a message if …

Mr. Mallory on answering machine: Hi, you’ve reached the Mallorys. Your call is very important to us…

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Mr. Mallory on answering machine: Please leave your name and number…

Andrew: I bet!

[Everyone laughs]

Mr. Mallory on answering machine: …and a brief message after the tone…

Andrew: Leave a message!

Mr. Mallory on answering machine: …and we’ll return your call as soon as possible. Thanks, and have a good day. Bye.

[Answering machine beeps]

Ben: Hey, Laura. This is Ben from the Harry Potter MuggleCast podcast, and I was just calling to ask you a few questions about your vendetta against the books, and to see if – feel free to give me a call back at this number. Thank you.

Andrew: All right. Well, that’s a bummer, but, hey – maybe she’ll call you back, Ben.

Ben: That – wouldn’t that be weird?

Micah: [laughs] Yeah.

Laura: [laughs] What if she calls you at, like, three in the morning?

Micah: What would you say to her?

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Ben: “Hey, Ben, I want to ban your book because I want attention in the media is the real reason why.”

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, yeah. [laughs] Well, I like the part where it goes, “Your call is really important to us.”

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Is it? Then call us back! Anyway…

Andrew: [clears throat] Got to clear my throat for this next segme – bleah! – segment. Time for Andrew’s …

[Ben sneezes]

Andrew: Whoa!

Ben: Sorry. Ben Schoen’s dying.

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Tell us what’s beyond the veil, Ben.

Ben: I don’t know. Well, I’ll tell you.

Andrew: That sneeze.

Ben: I’ll write you a letter. I’ll bring my two-way mirror.

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Ben: I’ll text message you from behind the veil.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew’s HUH?! of the Week

Andrew: Hey, it’s time for Andrew’s HUH?! of the Week!

Laura: Wooo!

[Andre presses Staples Easy Button: That was easy!]

Andrew: It’s not an e-mail, guys. It’s something – it’s something different this week. It’s actually a YouTube video, and a lot of you have been e-mailing us this video, and it’s actually really funny, because this girl nailed it head-on. What makes a MuggleCast fan girl? And she got it exactly right, and she recorded it after she met all of us, and, you know, went to Lumos and all that. So, we’re going to play it right now. There’s some naughty language in here, so we had to edit it down just a little bit, but take a listen to this. It’s pretty funny:

[Audio]: Oh, my god! Hi, guys. I just got back from Lumos, and it was, like, the best time I ever had in my life. It was, like, so amazing. There was, like, some really stupid that I didn’t understand, but I got to see MuggleCast, and I got to see Emerson, and I got to see Andrew, and I got to see Ben, and I got to see Eric, and I got to see John Noe, and it was, like, so amazing. I waited in line for, like, twelve hours, even though you weren’t really supposed to line up, but I just waited outside the door, because there was, like, some other stupid stuff going on, like, all my friends went to go see this guy. I don’t really know his name. It’s like its Steve Vander something. Like, who thinks about Steve Vander something. I don’t. I waited in line, and then, like, Emerson, like, walked by me, like, five times, and I was like, “Oh, my god! Emerson, I love you!” And he was like, “Yeah, blah blah blah.: And there was, like, really weird people at Lumos. And I was, like, really upset, because Dylan wasn’t there, and really, Dylan’s, like, the hottest one, and, like, some people think he’s not very important, but I think he’s really important, because he does the layouts for MuggleNet, and that’s, like, the most important part, and it’s, like, if the layouts were never really good, like, no one would go to MuggleNet. Um, yeah. There’s, like, a lot of people who, like, really like The Leaky Cauldron, and I don’t know why. The Leaky Cauldron’s really stupid. I don’t know. I don’t get Sue and her Hufflepuff stuff. Like, who wants to be in Hufflepuff? Hufflepuff is so stupid. There’s no hot guys in Huff – oh. Never mind. There is a hot guy in Hufflepuff. [gospel music starts] Never mind. I, like, totally love Hufflepuff. Hufflepuff is, like, the best house ever. So, like, Jamie came up to me, and he was, like, “Do you want a sticker?” And I was, like, “Oh, my god! I would love a sticker!” And so he, like, gave me a sticker, and I was, like, “Oh, my god! Jamie just handed me a sticker!” So now, like, every night, for the most part, I kiss it and stuff. And, so, in total, I got, like, five hugs from Emerson, and, like, ten from Eric, and one from Andrew, and, like, three from Ben, and two from John Noe, and, um, five from Jamie, and I almost asked Laura Thompson for a hug, but no one, like, really cares about Laura Thompson anyway. Laura Thompson isn’t a hot guy, so I don’t really care about her. And I think she should just leave MuggleCast, because no one cares. Like, just think: Jamie’s hands were on this, and maybe Emerson’s hands were on it. And if Emerson’s hands were on it, that means that J.K. Rowling’s hands were on it. I’d rather be kissing Emerson’s hands than J.K. Rowling’s hands. I know that’s really stupid, because, like, if it wasn’t for J.K. Rowling, there would be no Harry Potter, and if there wasn’t any Harry Potter, there would be, like, no Emerson.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: That was great!

Andrew: That was good! That was good.

Chicken Soup For The MuggleCast Soul

Andrew: Well, we’re going to wrap things up now with a Chicken Soup for the MuggleCast Soul.

Ben: I hate this.

Andrew: The segment Ben loves to hate. This comes from Reva, 33, of Cleveland. Subject: Bad day, made me better. Actually, just Bad day made better.

Recently, I needed to have a surgical procedure done. The doctor said to find something I liked to listen to. They were going to use a local anesthesia, so I figured I didn’t want to stare into space for that long. Even though it was outpatient, he said I would be there a while. Three hours, to be exact. I borrowed a friend’s iPod and downloaded three podcasts from MuggleCast. Needless to say, this was the first time the doctor ever had a patient giggling during a surgery. Thanks for making a really hard day a lot better. P.S. The [emphasizes] pickle thing got me every time, but maybe that was the anesthesia.

Ben: Oh, of course you’re going to include that one. Pickle, pickle, pickle, pickle…

Andrew: Pickle, pickle, pickle, pickle, pickle, pickle! [laughs] No, that had nothing to do with the pickle. That was just one that was sent in, so…

Show Close

Andrew [Show Close with music in background]: Thank you, Reva. You can also send your Chicken Soup stories to mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com. Just put “Chicken Soup” in the subject line. As always, we enjoy reading them.

So, boys and girls, yeah, that does wrap up Episode 58. We are so thrilled to be back as People’s Choice winners!

Ben: Yeah!

Laura: Doesn’t it feel so good to say that?

Andrew: Once again, I am Andrew – yes it does.

Micah: Now, we’re up for another award, too. October 11.

Andrew: What’s Oct…

Laura: Oh, yeah.

Andrew: Oh yeah! Kid’s Choice Awards, Australia! [Laughs] Who’s going?

Laura: I want my blimp.

Ben: Erica. [laughs]

Laura: I want blimps.

Andrew: Yeah, Erica. [laughs] We’ve got to have a… Yeah, anyone out there in Australia, who’s going to be around, what is it, October 11th? Tune into Nickelodeon keep an eye out for the category of fave podcast. Let us know if we won, or if we lost. And if we won, I guess they’ll be in contact with us? I don’t know.

Ben: They’ll e-mail us a surfboard. A picture of a surfboard.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs] They said it’s a web only category, so I don’t know what that means, but hopefully we’ll get something from it. So anyway, I’m Andrew.

Ben: I am Ben.

Laura: I’m Laura.

Micah: And I’m Micah.

Andrew: Tannenbaum.

Micah: [laughs] Thanks, Andrew.

Andrew: [laughs] Oh, our contact information. Ben, what is the P.O. Box?


P.O. Box 223
Moundridge, Kansas 67107.

Send us anything, everything, only if you want to. Remember there is no obligation to send anything to the MuggleCast P.O. Box. Only if you feel like it. Don’t feel like you have to.

Andrew: You can also call us. In the United States: 1-218-20-MAGIC (62442) In the United Kingdom: 020-8144-0677 If in Australia: 02-8003-5668 That’s for voicemail questions or comments. Also, you can Skype us with the user name MuggleCast to leave your voicemail questions, comments, or e-mail mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com.

Ben: Wait. There’s a contact form on MuggleCast.com, our web page.

Andrew: Or if you just want to e-mail any of us personally, it’s out first name at staff dot mugglenet dot com. Also, do not forget that the interview with creators of the Order of the Phoenix video game. For more information on that, go to MuggleCast.com it will be right there. Also, check out our new MuggleCast website!

Laura: Yay.

Ben: Yay.

Micah: Yay.

Ben: Oh, crap, is that up?

[Micah laughs]

Ben: I have to get it up then

Andrew: No, but it has to go up. [laughs] We have a fun new blog on there that we’ll be posting all the MuggleCast updates, and maybe we’ll do something else with it. All the usual stuff is there. Once again that wraps up episode 58, and we’ll see everyone next week for Episode 59! We leave you tonight with a special MuggleCast parody by a MuggleCast listener, Tom, who took some audio clips of Ben and I, and put them in to a mock interview that he did with us. It’s actually pretty funny, so you’ll hear that at the end of the show. Bye everyone!

Ben: See ya!

Micah: See ya!

Laura: Bye!

Andrew: Bye! Bye Internet. [laughs and says in high-pitched voice] Bye!

MuggleCast Parody

Tom: Hello and welcome to the first edition of a probable series of one; MuddleCast, the companion podcast to the popular Harry Potter show, MuggleCast. I’m your host, Tom Stelzer. The aim of this podcast is to provide you devoted MuggleCast listeners with the background on your favorite podcasters, through interviews with each of the main players. Whilst many of you have met many of the podcasters at various live events, we still really haven’t had a chance to get to know the people behind the minds, which is where this show will come in. First up, we’re going to catch up with Andrew Sims, the host of MuggleCast. Hello Andrew.

Andrew: Welcome everyone to the show, but…

Tom: Thanks, Andrew, but that’s my job here.

Andrew: Yeah! Yeah! All right!

Tom: Who’s that in the background? Is that your cheer squad or something?

Andrew: Yeah!

Tom: Do they scream every time you say “Yeah”?

Andrew: Yeah! Yeah! All right!

Tom: Okay, so anyway, Andrew, you having a good day?

Andrew: Yeah!

Tom: How’s it been?

Andrew: All right!

Tom: That’s good to hear.

Andrew: Pickles.

Tom: Ummm, okay. So first up, Andrew, would you be able to tell us how the idea of doing a Harry Potter podcast first came up?

Andrew: Yeah! Yeah! All right!

Tom: Care to elaborate?

Andrew: Yeah!

Tom: Well?

Andrew [To the tune of the Harry Potter theme song]: Nar nar nar nar nar nar nar nar nar nar nar…

Tom: Are you actually going to say something?

Andrew: Yeah!

Tom: Well that’s good, let’s hear it then.

Andrew: All right!

Tom: Yeah, we got that the first time, but is there anything else you’d like to add?

Andrew: Pickles.

Tom: Yeah, you’ve already said that, too. Okay, well, I think that’s all we’ve got time for. Ladies and Gentlemen, Andrew Sims.

Andrew: Yeah! Yeah! All right!

Tom: Thanks, Andrew. That was very illuminating. Okay, next up we’ve got everyone’s favorite MoundRidgian, although that’s nothing special because there’s only about five of them. Direct from Kansas, it’s Ben Schoen.

Ben: I’m Ben Schoen.

Tom: I – yeah. I just said that. So, anyway, how are you today, Ben?

Ben: It’s rough being Ben Schoen.

Tom: So, what are you up to today?

Ben: Thirty six inches of…

Tom: No, I wasn’t talking about how much Subway you’ve eaten. I mean what are you going to be doing today?

Ben: Give me a Butterbeer.

Tom: Uh, sorry Ben, but I don’t have any Butterbeer.

Ben: It’s rough being Ben Schoen.

Tom: I’m sure it is. Anyway, I’m sorry but that’s all we’ve got time for today.

Ben: Time flies when you’re having fun.

Tom: Very true. Thanks, Ben.


Jamie: [Slowly] I’ve never ever insulted your parents.

Ben: There he goes.

Jamie: [Slowly laughs] Can you record it for me so I can hear it?

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, we’re recording. You sound really stupid. [laughs]

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Andrew: [Imitating Jamie] Hey guys blah blah blah!

Jamie: Record it for me. Andrew, record it for me so I can hear it.

Andrew: Yeah, I know.

Micah: While we’re on the topic of banning, as reported previously, the Georgian mother, Laura Mallory campaigned for the Harry Potter books to be removed… [stumbles over word] Yes! Oh, nice. Now he dropped it. See, this is why you cannot do the news, and watch the Mets in the playoffs at the same time.


Written by: Micah, Adrienne, Allison, Amanda, Jessica, Judy, Mandie, Margaret, Martina, Matthew, Megan, Sarah, Shannon and Shelly

Episode 58: Siriusly Back

  • Spy on Spartz kicks off the show.
  • Ben addresses a listener’s concern.
  • We celebrate our big win at the 2006 Podcast Awards.
  • Micah makes yet another request of Jo. This time, he’s 100% sure it’s going to happen.
  • Our main discussion this week is the Veil.
  • Has Ginny seen anyone die?
  • How can Sirius come back?
  • Andrew makes a pun!
  • A small discussion about Laura Mallory leaves us so angry that we try to give her a call.
  • This week’s HUH?! is from YouTube.
  • Chicken Soup.
  • After 58 episodes, Micah finally buys an iPod.
  • Blooper: Jamie’s attempt at recording the show.

Download Now
Running time: 1:14:45, 34.6 MB

Transcript 057

MuggleCast 57 Transcript

Show Intro

Andrew: Four weeks late but as promised, MuggleCast 57 is ready for your listening pleasure: Recorded September 18th, 2006. Once you hear the show, you’ll understand why we wanted to keep it as number 57. Granted, the show is a bit of a mess, [show intro music in background] especially at the end. We had some major audio issues that we tried to work out as best as possible, but we hope you’ll still enjoy the show even if it is a little outdated.

See why GoDaddy.com is the No. 1 domain register worldwide. Now with your domain name registration you’ll get hosting, a free blog, complete e-mail, and much more. Plus, as a MuggleCast listener enter code “RON”; that’s R-O-N when you check out and get your dot com domain name for just $6.95 a year. Get your piece of Internet today at GoDaddy.com.

Ben: Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.

Andrew: What?

Ben: Breaking news.

Andrew: Huh?

Ben: An E-coli spinach scare increases to 21 states.

Andrew: What?

Jamie: That’s quite a lot.

Kevin: Wow.

Ben: So, Popeye, beware.

[Jamie starts humming Popeye theme song]

Kevin: Watch those salads.

Ben: A Douglas county Nebraska resident was sickened by this strain of bacteria.

[Jamie stops humming Popeye theme song]

Ben: There have been 111 people sick and one person has died.

Andrew: This is kind of a depressing way to start the show.

Jamie: All from spinach?

Ben: I know.

Kevin: It is a pretty depressing way to start the show.

Ben: All from spinach.

Jamie: Bluto is just going to just kick Popeye’s butt now.

Ben: I know.

Jamie: Because he’s not going to have any spinach.

Ben: [laughs] It’s all infected with E-coli.

Jamie: [laughs] It is.

Ben: So, you heard it here first, MuggleCast: We save lives. Don’t eat spinach.

Jamie: Unless you’re Popeye.

Ben: Stay away! Unless you’re Popeye. [laughs]

Andrew: What about pickles? Do pickles have E-coli in them?

Jamie: No.

Andrew: They’re green, too, and they taste bad.

Ben: I think pickles are safe, Andrew.

Andrew: Oh, good.

Ben: Pickles are safe.

Andrew: Good.

Jamie: That would suck, though, if we sort of said that word and people all bought pickles to send and we found out that…

Andrew: Yeah. Spinach, spinach, spinach! It’s our new tagline!

Jamie: …touching pickles cause….

Kevin: Cancer.

Jamie: Yeah. A specific skin disease or something.

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: I couldn’t sleep at night with that on my conscience, I must admit.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: That’s pretty funny.

Kevin: I don’t think you’d have a problem, Jamie.

Jamie: No, I think I would. Seriously. I really do think I would.

Andrew: Welcome, everyone, to the show. As you can see we’re off to a great start already. This is going to be all about spinach.

Ben: Mhm. [laughs]

Andrew: We decided Harry Potter…

Ben: We’re done.

Andrew: …take a week off. This is 57. You know, 56 shows under our belt. It’s time, it’s time, it’s time, Micah, for you to update us…

Ben: We’re almost senior citizens.

Andrew: [laughs] …with the past week’s top Harry Potter news stories.


Micah: Um, Andrew? This is a missing episode. There isn’t any news. So, that’s all the news, wink wink, for this September 18th, 2006 edition of MuggleCast. Back to the show.

Welcome Back, Kevin!

Andrew: Okay. Thank you, Micah. Guys, you know, it struck me the other day.

Kevin: What struck you?

Andrew: We rely too much on… Oh by the way, by the way, how could we go any further? Kevin Steck, welcome back to the show!

Kevin: Yeah, its been awhile.

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] Thanks, Andrew. I have really missed my presence on the show.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: How long has it been, Kevin?

Kevin: What, six weeks now?

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] At least four weeks. Something like that.

Andrew: Four weeks? That’s it?

Jamie: It’s been a long time.

Kevin: I think it’s longer than that.

Andrew: Yeah, I think it was longer than that.

Jamie: Have you lost your touch yet, Kevin?

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] It’s been a 100 years or nothing. No.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Kevin, where have you been?

Kevin: School. School started.

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] At a wedding. [laughs]

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: At weddings. It was a wedding one week, wasn’t it?

Ben: [laughs] Kevin and the ladies.

Kevin: I know. I only had three of them this summer.

[Jamie laughs]

Jamie: Kevin couldn’t go to his own wedding because he had a wedding to go to.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: Isn’t that right, Kevin? [laughs]

Kevin: Right.

Ben: We missed you, buddy.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: We have. Welcome back, Kevin.

Andrew: We missed your voice, we missed your technical insight…

Jamie: Jokes.

Andrew: Missed everything about you, so welcome back.

MuggleCast on MySpace and Facebook

Andrew: Anyway, it struck me the other day: We rely too much on MuggleNet to promote the show.

Ben: Oh, really?

Andrew: I think so, because look at communities like MySpace. MySpace has 50 million people.

Jamie: Actually, I think it can have more than that now.

Andrew: MuggleCast – or MuggleNet – only gets 25 million. We are missing half of the MySpace audience.

Ben: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: That’s huge. Just imagine how many Harry Potter visitors are on MySpace.

Ben: I know.

Andrew: So, this is the reason why we have created a MuggleCast MySpace: to help promote the show, get the word out, and get you guys interacting with each other. So, visit MySpace.com/MuggleCastFans or just go to MuggleCast.com for a link, and join up, help promote the show, and it’s going to be pretty neat-o. We already got a lot of friend requests. It’s pretty cool seeing pictures of everybody, because remember you’re an attractive bunch!

Ben: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: And we also got a Facebook group. You can join in. This is all to help promote the show and you know…

Jamie: Yeah, that’s really good, Andrew. That’s a good one, that one. Yeah, yeah.

Andrew: Ummm.

Kevin: Allow stalkers to enter our world.

Andrew: I’m doing this hand motion right now, but I can’t put my – forget it.

Jamie: This is good stuff. This is good stuff

Andrew: Forget it, I’m done. I am done. Anyway…

Kevin: Go post a video of the hand motions.

Announcement: The 60-inch Subway Challenge

Andrew: Ben and Jamie, you guys got an announcement.

Jamie: We do.

Ben: A major announcement.

Jamie: Okay, it kind of… I think it started one day when I was hungry in the morning and I went to Subway and I got a 12-inch Subway melt and a 12-inch tuna for later on, so I could eat it later. So, I came home, I had the melt, then about four hours later or something like that, I had the tuna thing. And I got online and said to Ben, “Ben, I’ve just had 24 inches in one day, don’t you think that’s impressive?” Ben then made a comment back to me, “It’s okay, but I’ve had 36.” Now, we always want to go one better than, you know, what we’ve done. So…

Ben: Yeah, of course. Everything’s a competition with us. So… [laughs]

Jamie: Exactly, yes. We thought, let’s go to 48, but of course, why go to 48, if you can go to 60? So, that’s our challenge for California. We’re going to do the 60-inch Subway Challenge.

Ben: Each of us.

Jamie: Hopefully, this is going to increase… Yeah, yeah, each of us. Hopefully, this is going to increase by 12 inches every time we go on…

Ben: One of these trips.

Jamie: …one of these trips. So, if we’re still doing live Podcasts in 2020, we will be doing the 1,024-inch Challenge…

Ben: [laughs] Yeah.

Jamie: …which could get a little bit difficult by then, but we could be more experienced. So, and Ben, are we going to record it and do everything so we can get it online?

Ben: Well, if Andrew brings his video camera, we will.

Jamie: Okay, Andrew bring your video camera.

Andrew: Okay. Let’s record it and we’ll put a video up. I don’t… You’re going to eat, what, four, five different times of the day?

Jamie: It’s a… Yeah, yeah.

Ben: Five times in one day.

Jamie: We’re going to do it in one…

Kevin: Oh, it’s not in one sitting?

Andrew: Okay.

Ben: No.

Kevin: Awww.

Ben: That would be kind of hard.

Jamie: Yes, Kevin, yes. We’ll eat 60 inches in one…

[Everyone laughs]

Kevin: I think it would be impressive.

Andrew: I don’t even think Jamie is 60 inches tall.

Kevin: I think it would be impressive.

Andrew: I don’t think he’d be able to…

Ben: I don’t know, I don’t think Jamie could handle it. That’s the problem.

Jamie: [laughs] Okay, Ben, and you could? You’re going to have 60 inches of Subway?

Ben: Well, see, another thing – this reminds me. This is definitely going to be a daunting task. The other day I failed at a similar challenge in my…

Jamie: What was it?

Ben: …pre-calc class. I bet the teacher…

Kevin: A prize-getter.

Ben: …I could drink four cans of soda in…

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: …one minute and…

Jamie: Clearly, you can’t do that.

Kevin: Oh, geez. Yeah.

Ben: No, hold on, hold on. I got three down in forty seconds.

Jamie: That’s not bad at all.

Ben: And I took a look at that Dr. Pepper and I about passed out and…

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: …then I went to the sink and I threw up. So…

Jamie: [laughs] Awesome.

Ben: You know what? In California we’ll go for four in a minute. We’ll get a video of that, too. We’ll put it up on YouTube.

Andrew: That sounds fun.

Ben: Four cans of soda.

Jamie: What, four 60-inch Subways in a minute?

Ben: Yeah. [laughs] No, four cans of soda.

Jamie: Now that would be impressive.

Kevin: I would rather see a gallon of milk in five minutes.

Ben: An hour – it’s impossible.

Micah: Wait, Jamie?

Jamie: Yeah?

Micah: They have Subways in England?

Jamie: They do. But, unfortunately, I can’t set up a webcam linked to Ben’s Subway, so I could do mine and he can do his so, in a way, it’s in California.

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: No, I’m just surprised fast food chains existed there.

Andrew: How about we make a poll on MuggleCastFan.net and let people decide who will win the competition.

Jamie: No, because clearly Ben is going to win it.

Andrew: Well, then why are you in it?

Jamie: No, no. It isn’t a competition, it’s a competition generally just to do 60 inches in one day.

Andrew: Oh, I thought it was you guys versus each other. Oh, all right.

Jamie: No, no, no, no. Basically, we’re going to space it out and have one at, sort of, 8 AM, one at 11 AM, one at 3 PM, one at… And just go on like that and kind of space it out. So, it should be fun and we’ll put it online, as well.

Leaky Mug Live in California

Andrew: Moving along, Leaky Mug Live in California – it is only four days away from today. And we’re pretending like today…

Jamie: No it’s not.

Andrew: …is Sunday…

Jamie: Oh, yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: …the 24th. It’s only four days away. Hey, guys, we’re in England now. I mean, California.

Jamie: Oh, we are. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Andrew: It’s been pretty cool, hasn’t it? It’s been fun. Yeah.

Ben: [sings] California.

Kevin: We’re all having a blast.

Andrew: Sunny weather…

Jamie: I’ve had a blast so far, yeah.

Kevin: Yep.

Andrew: Yeah.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings. Leaky Mug Live in California, September 28th at 7 PM at the Borders in Westwood. It’s going to be a ton of fun.

Jamie: [raps the “ Fresh Prince of Bellaire” theme song] West Philadelphia, born and raised, in the playground where I would spend most of my days. Sorry.

Andrew: Yeah. It’s going to be a ton of fun and we’re looking forward to meeting everyone. If you’re in California, if you’re anywhere on the West Coast, just come out. It’s a quick drive.

Jamie: If you’re anywhere in the world, come out.

Ben: Okay, California is the west coast, Andrew.

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah!

Andrew: Well, the mid-west or the west.

Ben: Yeah, so…

Andrew: Come out to California.

Jamie: If you’re anywhere, if you’re anywhere, come and see us, please.

Andrew: Yeah. If you’re in China.

Jamie: If you’re China, if you’re in Australia…

Andrew: Come out, it’s going to be a lot of fun. We’re probably not doing another live Podcast for a while, so this is your last, well…

Ben: This is the Leaky Mug Farewell Tour.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: Don’t tell people that. Like those bands do; they always come back.

Andrew: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah. We’ll re-group after awhile

Listener Rebuttal: Correction on Invisibility Cloak

Andrew: Moving along, Listener Rebuttals this week. First, we start off with a correction. We got tons of feedback on this. I know, we’re sorry.

Ben: We screwed up.

Andrew: James inherited the Invisibility Cloak…

Kevin: Yeah.

Andrew: …from his father, not his mother, like we wanted – speculated. This came from an AOL interview that JK Rowling did back in October, 2000.

Jamie: I think what Andrew’s trying to say, in not so many words, is that we got it completely, completely wrong.

Andrew: Yeah, we just didn’t know. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah. We can’t, you know?

Andrew: So, there you go.

Listener Rebuttal: Homeschooling

Andrew: Moving on to emails now, Holly, 17, of North Bay. Where’s North

Jamie: A bay that’s in the north.

Ben: Probably New Jersey.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, yeah it is, yeah.

Andrew: Kevin, I got the IP address. Trace this for me while I…

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] Kevin!

Jamie: Just get Kevin to do it and in two seconds we’ll have a full match on…

Kevin: Oh do you want me to?

Andrew: Yes. It’s 69…

Kevin: Hold on one sec, let me…

Ben: Don’t say it out loud. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, don’t.

Andrew: I’m going to edit it out. I’m going to edit it out! 69.159…

Jamie: Hey, Ben, if you give Kevin the IP address in two minutes…

Kevin: Dot what? What was the last…

Andrew: Dot 2.

Jamie: …you have a full plan of their house, when they were born, what they eat for breakfast.

Andrew: Okay.

Jamie: He’s that good.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: This rebuttal concerns the homeschooling discussion we had last week: Wait a second: I’m listening to MuggleCast #56, and Jamie’s trying to argue that you can’t teach yourself Calculus. Well, I’m in first year university, and my Calculus teacher doesn’t speak English (his Russian accent is really, really, really, really, thick to the point we can’t understand a word).

Jamie: That’s pretty thick.

Andrew: So we (i.e. everyone in my class) can’t learn Calculus from anyone else. So I (and everyone else) have to teach myself Calculus from the textbook and I’m learning it by myself.

Kevin: Oh, that sucks.

Andrew: This is the same as my Discrete Math class (I’m a math major), and it’s really complex math, and my teacher doesn’t speak English, so I’m teaching it to myself. We don’t have a choice! We have to teach it to ourselves. So, if Hogwarts was shut down, it would be just like having a teacher who doesn’t speak English, you’re pretty much on your own. We can do it! So, wizards and witches can, too!

To a point.

Jamie: Didn’t I argue that you could?

Andrew: Yeah, I think she meant Ben.

Jamie: Okay, Ben.

Ben: Yeah, but no, I still completely disagree. You’re not going to get…

Andrew: Hold on, hold on…

Jamie: Ben…

Andrew: Hold on. Let’s not start this again. Let’s not start this again.

[Everyone talking over each other]

Ben: Listen. Listen. Shut up. Let me speak, Kevin.

[Kevin laughs]

Ben: She’s not going to be able to teach herself Calculus as quickly or as
good as if she had an instructor.

Andrew: That’s a fair point.

Kevin: Einstein did it.

Ben: Oh yeah, and Einstein is the average college student.

Andrew: Steve…

[Everyone laughs]

Kevin: But you can’t speak for the person writing in.

Jamie: Yeah.

Listener Rebuttal: Homeschooling Part Two

Andrew: Steve Danison, 18, from Albany, NY also writes about homeschooling.

Jamie: But we haven’t finished. [laughs] Sorry.

Andrew: Well, it’s the same. I do not believe home schooling is an option because in order to be homeschooled, the students would have to be allowed to use magic outside of Hogwarts, which we know is not allowed. Okay?

I believe if Hogwarts is closed, there will be no schooling of any sorts, unless the students were to be sent to another school, which is unlikely. So, yeah.

That’s a good point, Ben. Can’t argue with that one.

Jamie: But, but…

Micah: I can.

Kevin: I think an exception would be made.

Jamie: They could change it, though.

Kevin: Yeah.

Micah: Yeah, exactly.

Andrew: They could change it, but at the current time, right now…

Ben: In time of war they’re going to change it. That’s true, also.

Kevin: Yeah.

Listener Rebuttal: Homeschooling Part Three

Andrew: Darren, 39, from Columbus, Ohio also writes about homeschooling:
The ability to learn without teachers does depend on the student.
Examples: Newton invented Calculus. No one taught him. Number two: Hermione
performed several spells before the first year. Number three: Hermione made
the Polyjuice Potion long before it was taught. Number four: Fred and George created the swap, which was new magic. Number five: Marauder’s Map, not something that would be taught. Number six: Horcrux, who taught Voldy to split his soul?

Jamie: Slughorn, Slughorn, Slughorn.

Andrew: In the end we take what we know and expand on it. This is learning without teachers.

Jamie: This is why…

Ben: Yes, I know, I know. And he makes a good point. But I’m saying you have to
establish a base. When you have first years that are going in there, they
have to actually have some basis for learning, they can’t just be able to
jump straight into advanced magic, they have to have…

Jamie: But, Ben…

Ben: …established the building blocks.

Jamie: This is why the best students are always the people who go off and
read for themselves and learn themselves on top of everything they do. I’m not saying that – you’re right that you need a base, which is why you couldn’t teach yourself at Kindergarten, you know, because you need somebody who can teach you the basics, but once you’re there you can build on it, and so I think they could do that at wizarding school. [laughs] That sounded so bad. What a weak argument.

Ben: Yeah, that was pretty bad.

[Ben and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: That was terrible!

Name Intros: A Little Late

Andrew: I just realized we never did our name intros.

Jamie: Oh, yeah.

Andrew: The show never began.

Kevin: Oh well, they know who we are.

Andrew: Start, rewind. I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I’m Ben Schoen.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Kevin: I’m Kevin Steck.

Micah: And I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

Listener Rebuttal: Lily’s Invisibility Cloak?

Andrew: All right, now that we got that out of the way, next rebuttal, Jamie? [laughs]

Jamie: It’s from Amy, 24, from Durham, but not the Durham I go to. And I…

Andrew: Awww, I got excited for a second.

Jamie: So did I, so did I. We can meet up.

Ben: Do you mean that second rate UK university?

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Oooh.

Jamie: Yes, thank you, Benjamin, thank you, Benjamin. Ben, remind me how much you pay for college each year. Go on, just tell me. Just tell me.

Ben: I am not in college yet, but it will be pretty expensive.

Jamie: Ben, you will be in college. Oh, right.

Ben: Well then, I can think how cheap your second rate education is.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: It’s better than your education.

Ben: Ooo…

Kevin: That’s why Stephen Hawking is a teacher at Oxford.

Jamie: He is.

Kevin: He is.

Jamie: Actually, he isn’t. Well, he was at Cambridge.

Kevin: Oh wait, is he?

Ben: I’m sorry, guys.

Kevin: Get your facts right. Get your facts right.

Kevin: Oh, you’re right.

Andrew: An e-mail…

Ben: Us dumb Americans. Dumb Americans.

[Andrew laughs]

Kevin: Oh yeah, how can I get that wrong?

Jamie: Kevin. Kevin, Gonville and Caius College, Cambridge. Get it right. Get it right. Can we get back to this, or are we just going to dwell on this?

Andrew: Yeah, go.

Jamie: On Ben’s second rate education, not mine.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Okay. This is Amy, 24, from Durham, North Carolina. She says: Hi, I’ve been listening to your show for some weeks now but finally decided to send in a comment today. In your discussion about James’ cloak (in 56), you touched on the point that the cloak might be Lily’s (and refuted it later but not completely). I think that the cloak cannot belong to Lily, because Dumbledore said that the cloak belonged to James and as we all know, Dumbledore was as precise in what he says.

Andrew: And Jo proved us wrong.

Ben: Yeah, we already got owned on this one.

Jamie: Yeah, we did. Well, why don’t we just be owned again since we did screw up. Come on.

Andrew: The point of this rebuttal is the last two paragraphs. PS.

Jamie: Okay. Also, the mundane reason (as you mentioned) why Dumbledore had the cloak can be that James left it with him to be used by the Order (given the fact that cloaks are rare), and Dumbledore could not return it back to the Potters before they died because he did not know who the Secret-Keeper was. Given Dumbledore’s role in safeguarding the Potters, and Wormtail’s character, I think there was very little time lost between his being Secret-Keeper and Voldemort arriving at the Potters’ doorstep. Dumbledore could not have also been present at the time of the Potters’ death, as apart from the fact that he could not have just stood by, he would also need to have known who was the Secret-Keeper for that. He would have been told in some format directly by Wormtail, and then he could have given the evidence against Sirius later.

Andrew: [correcting Jamie] Not have.

Jamie: What do you guys think?

Andrew: He could not have.

Jamie: Sorry? Oh yeah, “and he could not have given the evidence against Sirius later.”

Andrew: I think that’s a very interesting theory.

Jamie: You didn’t hear a word?

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Andrew: No. I read it. That’s why it’s in there.

Jamie: After all I said Andrew, you just thought you’d say that?

Andrew: No. I think it’s an interesting theory.

Jamie: Anyone else?

Andrew: That’s all I had to say. [laughs]

Jamie: Anymore slightly more detailed comments? [laughs]

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: No?

Andrew: Is that bad? [laughs]

Jamie: No, that was excellent. Good. Excellent. Well done, everyone. Well done, everyone.

Andrew: Okay.

Jamie: The discussion this week is clearly up to scratch as usual.

Andrew: Well, you usually have something to add.

Jamie: Well, I was reading it.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Andrew: I know. Go ahead, read the next one.

Listener Rebuttal: Dumbledore Gave The Cloak to Hagrid?

Jamie: Okay. Well, sorry, Amy. No one has any comments at all, which is bad. Okay, this is from Vanessa, 25, from California. Hope you’re coming to the podcast.

I wonder if Dumbledore gave the Cloak to Hagrid to use, perhaps to “overhear” Wormtail giving access to Godric’s Hollow, because he had to know the secret location to go in and rescue Harry.

That brings up an interesting point.

Ben: Is the Cloak even big enough to fit Hagrid, though? [laughs]

Jamie: No, no. [laughs]

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Jamie: It would cover, like, one hand or something. Okay, that does bring up an interesting point, though. If you hear somebody telling somebody the location, do you know it, because they weren’t actually telling you and, apparently, you have to be told. It has to be a conscience effort on the part of the Secret Keeper to tell you the location. So, but anyway:

Obviously, Sirius’ motorcycle couldn’t be hidden with the Cloak along with Hagrid, and it’s almost too much to consider it could even cover Hagrid…

There you go!

…alone except that Harry, Ron, and Hermione can all fit underneath it together. The only problem with this is, Dumbledore always thought the Secret Keeper had been Sirius all the way until Prisoner of Azkaban. If Hagrid knew who the Secret Keeper was, wouldn’t he have passed that information along?

Anyone have any comments?

Ben: Of course he would’ve.

Jamie: Assuming he knew, of course.

Ben: Yeah, but I think you can’t…

Jamie: You can’t assume that he knew.

Ben: Yeah. I don’t know.

Micah: Well, I think it goes back to exactly what she said in terms of him having in his possession at the time that James died.

Jamie: Yeah.

Micah: I think its more important that he had it physically on him in some capacity when the event took place. Like, I’m not saying that he’s responsible in any way for what happened, but it makes it seem like, almost, Dumbledore shouldn’t have had it in his possession at that time, that it should have been used for something else.

Andrew: Hmmm.

Jamie: Hmmm. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, that sounds right. Someone else read the next one.

Listener Rebuttal: Petunia and the Invisibility Cloak

Andrew: This leads into our main discussion, which is why we have it in here. Sort of leads in. Evelyn, 41, of Woodstock, Canada, eh?, talks about – also talks about the Invisibility Cloak.

Regarding the Invisibility Cloak, I believe it is because of Petunia that Dumbledore has the Cloak. Petunia, although she loathed the wizarding world, did love her sister. Petunia went to Godric’s Hollow…

Now, this is her theory: Petunia went to Godric’s Hollow on that fateful night to try and convince her sister to leave James and the wizarding world behind. When Voldemort shows up, James, or perhaps Lily, covers Petunia with the Cloak, since she has no magical means to protect herself. Petunia watches in horror as first James, then Lily are killed. She also observes the curse which backfired on Voldemort and watches him flee, close to death. A short while later, Snape (who of course is one of the good guys) shows up to try to warn the Potters that they are in danger (having extracted this information from the traitor, Wormtail). Obviously he was too late, but Petunia recounts exactly what happened. Together, Snape and Petunia retell the dreadful tale to Dumbledore. It is because of Petunia’s eye-witness account of Snape trying to warn the Potters that Dumbledore trusts Snape. Dumbledore also took the invisibility cloak from Petunia and modified her memory so she has no recollection of these horrific events.”

Jamie: Can I just add that after this happened, Snape and Petunia lived happily ever after.

[Kevin laughs]

Jamie: Until the end of time. And they’re still together.

[Andrew hums dramatically]

Jamie: That is very interesting though.

Kevin: Yeah it sounds pretty…

Andrew: Well, I thought…

Kevin: …possible.

Andrew: Yeah, I thought it was kind of cool.

Micah: It’s a good theory, but again it would go back to the fat that James or Lily had the Invisibility Cloak…

Jamie: Yeah, exactly.

Micah: …in their possession. And she clearly states…

Jamie: And also…

Micah: …that Dumbledore does. Unless she’s talking more generically. That’s – I think that she needs to be more specific. Because at the time of his death could be a generic…

Jamie: Yeah, and also…

Micah: …period of time. As oppose to the specific event – sorry.

Jamie: Also… Oh, no, its fine. Also, how much did Petunia care about Lily?

Andrew: Well, that’s the thing because this is where her whole theory stems from. Now, according to this rebuttal, she says that Petunia did love her sister.

Kevin: Yeah, I don’t…

Andrew: Now, I don’t know if that is fact…

Kevin: Yeah, I think it’s just an assumption.

Andrew: …because I don’t remember really that. This is just part of her theory. However, as a sister, you would think you would always have underlying love for her. About her sister.

Jamie: Yeah, I guess but, she didn’t talk very highly of her, you know, normally. So, I don’t know.

Andrew: Well, not now. But I mean, I talk trash on my sister every single day.

Jamie: You still lover her don’t you Andrew?

Ben: You still think she’s hot.

[Andrew sighs in annoyance]

Jamie: Yeah [laughs]

Andrew: No.

[Andrew and Micah laughs]

Andrew: No, I don’t. And I never did say that. so I don’t know what you’re talking about.

[Awkward pause].

Andrew: Oh, okay. “PS…I love your show and listen to it regularly. Today is my birthday and it would be a great birthday present to get a mention on air!!!! Although I already feel that this theory which just ‘fell into my head today’ is birthday present enough. Keep up the great work. It keeps all of us Harry Potter fans occupied while we not-so-patiently await Book Seven.”

So, Happy Birthday Evelyn of Canada.

Ben: [singing] Happy Birthday to you!

Main Discussion: Petunia Dursley

Andrew: And this does lead into our Main Discussion this week which is Petunia Dursley.

Jamie: But what about …

Andrew: A character…

Jamie: But what about Dumbledore’s will?

Andrew: I’m moving that because…

Jamie: That’s very funny though.

Andrew: …the rebuttal.

Jamie: Oh, right.

Andrew: What? The will? Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah, it’s quite funny.

Andrew: It’s clever.

Jamie: When are you reading it? You reading it later?

Andrew: After. After the discussion.

Jamie: Okay, cool.

Andrew: Character Discussion on Petunia Dursley; we haven’t done one of these in a while. Aunt Petunia: aged around her thirties or forties. Petunia is a tall and gaunt with blonde hair and an almost abnormally long neck. She has a long bony horse like fee with long teeth and large blue eyes. Petunia is nosey and likes to gossip. She has a shrill voice, and a brisk, snappish manner. She is an immaculate housekeeper and keeps her home (number four, Privet Drive) spotless. Petunia despises magic or abnormality in any form and likes to act as though the magical world does not exist. But there are some strange things going on with Petunia.

Jamie: There are.

Andrew: And that’s what we’re going to discuss today.

Micah: She sounds like quite a catch.

[Jamie and Andrew laughs]

Jamie: She does.

Andrew: Micah…

Jamie: I’d go on a date with her.

Andrew: …got a little thing for her?

Petunia The Squib

Micah: Yeah, All right. So, one of the biggest questions surrounding Aunt Petunia is, is she a Squib? And from JKR’s own website she said Aunt Petunia has never performed magic nor will she ever be able to do so. If Petunia…

Jamie: But she hasn’t said – sorry, sorry.

Micah: No, go ahead.

Jamie: I was going to say that she hasn’t specifically said that that she is a Squib though.

Ben: That she isn’t a Squib or she is.

Micah: That’s an interesting point.

Jamie: No, I mean, she has dodged the word basically…

Kevin: Yeah, she…

Jamie: On purpose it looks like. She says “she hasn’t ever performed magic nor will she be able to do so.”

Kevin: But a Squib can…

Jamie: That could be due to – that could be due to emotional trauma, you know, like when Tonks couldn’t transform herself after the death of Sirius. You know it could be that she’s never been able to perform magic because she hates the thought of being abnormal in her world, so she can’t, you know, bring herself to do it, and she won’t ever be able to do it because she won’t ever be able to get over the thought of being abnormal in her world. So, she could be completely magical but she just can’t do it.

Micah: But, I mean, that is almost the direct definition of a squib, if you look it up.

Jamie: No, no, no, no, I thought that a squib was somebody who was a non-magical person. So, with all their heart they could not perform magic.

Micah: Right, but, and JKR has specifically said she has never performed magic, nor will she ever be able to do so.

Jamie: No, but what I’m saying is that there is a difference between being magical and not being able to do magic and not actually, you know, having the requirements in yourself to do magic. Does that make sense, or not?

Kevin: I think it makes sense. I mean…

Ben: I don’t know.

Kevin: She can have, like, a magic background, but not be able to perform the actual magic.

Jamie: Exactly, exactly. You could have… It’s like this… It’s like… Okay, okay, this is a very weird…

Kevin: Analogy?

Jamie: Yeah, analogy, but say you have got roller skates on, okay? You are capable of roller skating, but you could be so scared of falling over that you could – you cannot do it and you won’t be able to do it because you can’t get over your fear. That’s different to somebody who doesn’t have roller skates on, so clearly could not ever roller skate because they don’t have the tools to roller skate.

Micah: Okay.

Jamie: Make of it what you will. Make of it what you will.

Micah: So, you’re saying it’s more of her own will that she’s not – never able to do it, as opposed to her…

Jamie: Yeah, precisely. But…

Andrew: But is she a witch or is she a Squib?

Jamie: I’m not saying that, but she could be magical though. JKR… That looks like she’s dodged the Squib issue, by saying that. You know she hasn’t actually said she is not a Squib, she’s saying that she hasn’t performed magic.

Micah: I think that if anything, it proves that she possibly could be a Squib. Doesn’t it?

Jamie: No, because it just says that she hasn’t performed magic and she won’t be able to perform magic, not that she does not have the ability to do magic.

Andrew: But that’s not the definition of Squib.

Jamie: No, I thought that a squib was a non-magical person. They cannot do…

Andrew: Born of Muggle or wizard parents.

Jamie: Yeah. Look at it like this, a wand does not perform spells. There’s something inside you that the wand acts as a catalyst for that causes the spell to come out, which is why you can do magic without a wand. If Petunia – sorry, if a Squib pointed a wand and learned all the spells in the world it wouldn’t matter because they don’t have that thing inside them that is put through the wand and turns into the spell, you know? It’s like that whereas – that’s a squib, whereas a person who just cannot do magic, perhaps due to emotional trauma, as I said, is somebody who does have that thing inside them, but is unable to channel it, for reasons of, I don’t know, you know? Emotion, morality, you know? Fear, something like that and that could be Petunia, instead of her being a Squib. I mean, I’m not saying she is like that, but it is a possibility, considering how Jo’s worded it.

Andrew: Yeah.

Micah: No, I understand what you’re saying and Andrew just brought up the next part of it is, if Petunia were a Squib it would mean that her family was magical, but we’re told in fact that Lily was Muggle-born.

Jamie: Wait, so…

Andrew: So, okay, so that answers the question.

Micah: Well if JKR is telling us the truth. Which she…

Andrew: Of course she is. Well, why would she lie to us?

Jamie: Because she hates us.

[Micah laughs]

Andrew: [In a sad voice] She wouldn’t do that to me, would she?

Jamie: So wait, you’d be saying that if she’s a squib her entire family would be wizards and witches?

Micah: Well, one of them would have to be.

Andrew: Yeah.

Micah: One of her parents would have to be.

Jamie: Yes, you’re right. Oh yeah. I don’t know. Yes, that’s true. But Lily was Muggle-born, right? So…

Andrew: But that can’t be…

Jamie: So, she couldn’t be a Squib.

Andrew: Yeah. Right, right. So…

Jamie: My theory holds some weight. Maybe?

What Is So Surprising About Petunia?

Micah: So, if she’s not a squib and she’s not a witch, what information are we going to learn about her in Book 7 that’s so revealing, so surprising?

Kevin: She’s half a house-elf.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: It must be something that she knows.

Jamie: Of course it is.

Andrew: There must be some little factoid that she knows that she’ll have to tell Harry.

Ben: Well, she’s already – we’ve already seen that she has quite a bit of knowledge of the magical world that we didn’t know about, like with the Dementor and stuff. So…

Jamie: Oh yeah, precisely.

Ben: There’s more to Petunia than meets the eye. I think Jo said that actually.

Micah: She did, so to me that means there is more to her, as opposed to what she knows.

Jamie: Yeah, but she clearly does know something that, you know…

Ben: That’s – that we don’t know. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, exactly. Wow, that’s a big step we’ve taken there, isn’t it?

[Micah laughs]

Andrew: That is a big revelation, yeah.

Jamie: One small step for MuggleCast, one giant leap for Harry Potter fans.

Andrew: Well, that’s the thing. That is why we included that rebuttal this week because she’s suggesting that Petunia actually was at Godric’s Hollow and she saw all this going down, and might connect the cloak.

Jamie: [sings] Down, down in an earlier round, And Sugar, we’re going down swinging.

Ben: I don’t think that’s true.

Andrew: Then what do you think is true, Ben?

Ben: I don’t think that made sense. If Dumbledore was given the cloak before James’ death by James, why would Petunia have it after he died?

Jamie: Yeah, I don’t know about that. But, I don’t know.

Andrew: She sort of explained her theory, but nonetheless. All right, move along, Micah.

Ben: [sings] Move along.

Familial Love

Micah: All right, do you think that she has any type of feelings for Harry and did she love her sister? This kind of goes back to what we brought up before.

Andrew: Uhhh…

Ben: Harry/Petunia shippers.

[Awkward silence]

Jamie: Ugh. She clearly – I don’t think you can say that she is completely emotionless towards him. She’s got to feel something, and clearly when she says…

Kevin: I think she…

Andrew: Well, she sort of has to.

Ben: I think it’s a big facade because Vernon is around, you know?

Kevin: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Andrew: Right, yeah.

Jamie: In Book Five when she says, “The boy has to stay…”

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: It’s clearly because of Dumbledore has told her about, but it just seems that there is something else there as well. She doesn’t want to turn him off into the streets like Vernon does. She hasn’t ever been the person who says, “Out, out, get out.” She’s always just been hiding behind her husband.

Andrew: I think the problem is that she can’t.

Jamie: Why? Because of the – yeah.

Andrew: Because of Dumbledore’s “remember my last”, and all that, and the Dursley house having some sort of magical, staying close to the bloodline, and all that. I just don’t think she can kick him out.

Jamie: Oh yeah, I think that’s probably right.

Andrew: And obviously, she had to convince Vernon somehow. There must have been more to it than just, “Vernon, he stays.”

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: Isn’t that what she said in Order of the Phoenix?

Jamie: Yeah, she did, yeah.

Andrew: As for loving Lily, you have to have some sort of love for your sister.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: She’s family.

Kevin: She can be as mad as possible with her, but she still has to have some sort of emotion towards her sister.

Andrew: Grow up, Jamie.

Jamie: Oh yeah, oh yeah, definitely.

Petunia’s Magical Knowledge

Micah: Okay, so we’ve seen in the past books that she does have some knowledge of the magical world. Where does her knowledge of things such as Dementors and the severity of Voldemort and him coming back come from? Would she really have spent enough time around James and Lily to know about this stuff?

Kevin: Well, I was thinking that Lily was going to Hogwarts as well. So, she came home on the summers.

Ben: Well actually in Book Five we saw – Petunia said that she heard Lily say it to him, and him was Harry’s father. So, that’s how she found out about the Dementors. So, it’s likely that she could have acquired some more information simply by overhearing it.

Kevin: Yeah, exactly. I mean, Lily was home every summer, so you would assume that she would snoop a bit. You know?

Jamie: Yeah, she must have heard them, or picked up a book or something.

Andrew: Right. Yeah. She had to be curious. Of you hated… Yeah. If you hated this whole magical ability so much, you have to be curious as to learn more about it.

Jamie: Yeah. Didn’t George Washington say, “We’re always curious about the things we hate”?

Andrew: Probably.

[Kevin laughs]

Jamie: [laughs] I just made that up.

Andrew: I don’t think there’s anything else to add to that. [aside to self] Where does her knowledge of things such as Dementors and the severity of Voldemort’s return come from?

Jamie: No, no. I think that’s about it.

Micah: As far as Voldemort, I think she’s pretty aware of the fact that he killed her sister and James.

Jamie: Well, exactly. Yeah, she must have asked questions about that. She doesn’t just…

Micah: And not to mention, I’m sure, whatever was in Dumbledore’s letter…

Kevin: Yeah, and she had obvious contact with Dumbledore.

Petunia Seals The Magical Bond

Micah: …clearly. Okay, this is actually an interesting question. What does Jo mean by “never performing magic”? Clearly by providing her place of residence, she’s sealing the ancient magic that keeps Harry safe while he is under age. Is Jo being careful with her wording here, as she so often does?

Jamie: Haven’t we just discussed this?

Micah: Yeah, but I think…

Andrew: Yeah, we sort of did in the beginning.

Micah: The question goes more towards – she is in a way performing magic because she’s saying…

Jamie: Oh, well, we can get into a huge discussion here.

[Micah laughs]

Jamie: No, because I was thinking, do you think this ancient magic, if you look at it kind of like one of the prophecies, okay? In the prophecies, a prophecy will only come true if, well, most prophecies, or some prophecies will only come true if under certain conditions in the prophecy are made. For example, the prophecy in Order of the Phoenix only came true because Voldemort only heard half of it and then marked Harry as an equal, thereby creating his own enemy. Now, it could be that Lily seals the magic – this ancient magic, just because she provides him residence. So, it could be in this spell – in this sort of incantation – the way this works it could be that Dumbledore creates this spell and he says that whatever and that this protection is given on Harry if so-and-so provides him a thing of welcome. So, it’s just a condition that she has to meet. It doesn’t require any magic, because she’s just fulfilling the terms of something else. She isn’t doing anything action, she’s being passive.

Micah: So she’s just part of the equation, that’s what you’re saying. Kevin?

Jamie: Exactly, yeah, I’m trying to say that. That is a much better succinct summary than my waffling on [laughs] about it when I didn’t actually say anything.

[Micah laughs]

Jamie: So yeah, she’s just leading the ancient magical equation, but not performing any magic of her own, I think.

Petunia and Horcruxes

Andrew: I just keep thinking about, what could this big revelation be? Because we’ve sort of come to the conclusion that – and I just don’t understand how this will come into a big play in Book Seven. The only thing I can think of is that Aunt Petunia has something that’s going to help Harry discover the final Horcruxes, or final Horcrux.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: Maybe Petunia’s a Horcrux.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Jamie: She could be.

Andrew: So, Micah, you brought up last week that Jo is always very careful about her words. What do you think about this, the “never performing magic” line?

Micah: Well, I think Jamie was right before. You can interpret it two different ways. It’s either she chooses never to perform the magic, because she’s afraid of it, or she just doesn’t have the actual ability to do it. And I agree with him when he said that she’s more just part of the equation as far as the ancient magic is concerned. She doesn’t have the ability…

Jamie: Thanks, Micah.

Micah: …I don’t think to perform it. Yeah, no problem. [laughs]

Jamie: Your check’s in the post.

Dudley’s Greatest Fear

Micah: No problem. Now, this is something interesting. It kind of relates to Petunia. We’ve yet to really find out about Dudley’s greatest fear. We’re told we’ll find out about it in the final book. What possibly could he fear, and how do you guys think it relates to Aunt Petunia?

Ben: I don’t know. I hate to say this, but he grew up in one of those perfect childhoods, where it almost seems like he was molested.

Kevin: Awww…

Ben: That’s the only thing I can think of.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: I mean, in all honesty. What else could there be? He had a perfect life.

Jamie: No, he didn’t though. Well, he didn’t – he thinks he did. But as Dumbledore said in Half-Blood Prince, “at least you haven’t inflicted the damage that you’ve done to Dudley on Harry.” That kind of stuff, you know? So, perhaps there’s something that they’ve done to do something to him that would turn into his greatest fear. But, Abraham Lincoln did say, I think it was him, we have nothing to fear but fear itself. And he did actually say that. Perhaps he…

Ben: That was FDR. Not Lincoln.

Jamie: Okay, okay. Well, okay…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Well, at least I… At least I knew it was a president.

Andrew: I would think that his biggest fear is magic, is Harry casting a spell on him.

Jamie: That can’t be his biggest fear.

Kevin: No. Do you think…

Micah: No, I think…

Andrew: Why couldn’t he?

Jamie: If he looked into the Mirror of…

Ben: It had to be something inflicted by his parents.

Kevin: Do you think it’s… Do you think it’s possible that – I mean, Dudley has always had a hate of Harry, right? So, he knows that Harry is different in some way.

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: Where did he find this out? He probably found it out from Petunia. Is it possible that she told him something about Harry to make him hate/fear something about Harry, and that’s why he’s always been…

Jamie: But, he’s just scared of him…

Andrew: Well, I’m sure they…

Jamie: …isn’t he? I mean…

Andrew: Yeah, and they probably would’ve made something up, like, “He can kill you if you…”

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: I mean it’s true, but…

Jamie: Well, perhaps he’s scared of death, then.

Micah: Yeah.

Jamie: If he – if he gets scared whenever Harry points his wand in his face…

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: …it could be that he’s scared of being killed. Ben, I was trying not to laugh there, and you’ve just started it off. [in a disapproving tone] Gah, gah, gah. No, it could just be that Dudley is scared of death in general, and he thinks that because he doesn’t understand magic, whenever Harry points his wand in his face, he thinks he’s going to Avada Kedavra him and kill him.

Micah: What about his parents being in trouble? What about Petunia and Vernon possibly being attacked in some way?

Jamie: Well, I think he’s obviously extremely reliant on his parents, so that could be big as well.

Micah: Or, even along the lines of what Kevin was saying, possibly something that Petunia knows that maybe Dudley has an idea about getting out.

Kevin: Yeah, that’s…

Micah: And people finding out…

Jamie: Oh, yeah.

Micah: …about Harry.

Jamie: Oh, yeah, perhaps.

Petunia and Sirius

Micah: Okay, this question kind of relates to what we talked about before in terms of her knowing more than she lets on, but it’s Vernon who seems to be shocked at the end of Prisoner of Azkaban when Harry informs him that Sirius is his godfather, not Petunia.

Ben: Well, it’s likely that Petunia already knew, then.

Jamie: Yeah, although – yeah. I think she probably did, because she must have been around when he was born. You know? And went to a christening and everything.

Micah: Sort of following up, did Petunia know Sirius? There are a lot of people out there who think that they knew each other pretty well, and it’s possible they even spent time together given that Lily was her sister and that Sirius was so close with James. And I’m sure that there were times where they all got together. I mean…

Jamie: They must have talked. It isn’t…

Andrew: Who? Petunia included?

Jamie: Huh? Well…

Andrew: Petunia included, Micah?

Petunia As A Child

Micah: Well, this kind of relates to the last point, what… [stumbles] what did Petunia do as a child? I mean, did she just hide whenever Lily had friends over? Because her parents, from what we’re told…

Andrew: Well…

Micah: …seem to be very welcoming to the whole idea of Lily being a witch.

Jamie: Yes. Yeah, they were. But…

Andrew: Her friends – her friends from Hogwarts?

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Because, well, when Petunia is explaining to Harry what happened to Lily in Book One, isn’t – doesn’t she say something like they…

Jamie: Came home…

Andrew: Oh, wait. No.

Jamie: She came home transfiguring frogs into stuff.

Andrew: No, I was going to say that she ran off to school and that was the last they saw of her, but actually she said, “They ran – Lily and that boy ran off and got married…”

Jamie: Oh, yeah. Okay, yeah.

Andrew: “…and she never saw her again.” Never mind. Never mind. [sighs] I just can’t picture… I don’t see why that would go… Petunia would keep her distance.

Jamie: What? Oh, yeah. No, she would, but you know, when, I assume – how old were James and Lily when they got married, do you think, and had Harry?

Ben: Probably early twenties?

Jamie: Okay, well she must have… She can’t have not talked with them then. I mean, as a child, she was probably scared, but she, I mean, I assume that she’d observed niceties at that age and go to their wedding and, you know, speak to them and stuff, so I’m sure she talked to Sirius.

Micah: And I can’t remember, I just started rereading Prisoner of Azkaban, but I think when it’s on the TV that Sirius Black has gotten free from prison, she reacts in a very odd way. So…

Jamie: Yeah.

Micah: …this all goes back to her knowing more than she lets on.

Jamie: Yeah.

Micah: It’s just a question of how does she get this information. Is it information that she had previously, or is she getting fed this information, somehow?

Andrew: She couldn’t have been getting – it couldn’t have been fed to her. She has no connections inside – inside Hogwarts, or any magical world.

Ben: Well, what about Arabella Figg? The neighbor that’s kept Harry…

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: …all these years. Well, actually, Petunia – no, but they… She said that Petunia and Vernon don’t know because they wouldn’t want her – him to spend time with her if they knew that he was going to be having a good time, so that wouldn’t make sense.

Jamie: I agree.

Andrew: I don’t know. I just… I just don’t think that she could have a source other than overhearing Lily and James.

Jamie: Yup. Yup, yup, yup, yup, yup.

Last Days At Privet Drive

Micah: But I guess just to wrap it up real quick, it’s not even on here, what do you guys think is going to happen to her? Or even all of them as a whole?

Andrew: [laughs] I keep saying this. I just think she’s going to reveal something about Harry.

Ben: Yeah, she will.

Kevin: That’s got to be it.

Jamie: Yeah, she is.

Kevin: I don’t see anything happening to her, like, physically.

Micah: You don’t think the house is going to be attacked?

Kevin: I doubt it. No, I don’t see that happening. Why would they attack that – a house that they know Harry isn’t at?

Jamie: Yeah, exactly. I mean, it would send a message…

Ben: Because…

Jamie: …it would cause them to tighten their security, and it wouldn’t actually solve anything at all. I just don’t…

Kevin: And the only… The only day they’d ever attack is the last day that the – I guess the enchantment…

Jamie: Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

Kevin: …is on, you know? Once he… But I don’t see Harry being there that day, so [laughs]

Jamie: No, yeah.

Kevin: …who cares?

Micah: But didn’t Dumbledore say in the conversation that he has to return?

Kevin: Well, he…

Andrew: Until he’s 17.

Jamie: Until he’s 17.

Kevin: Yeah.

Jamie: One more summer.

Kevin: See, that’s the thing.

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: But even then…

Ben: Even then, he’d only be there shortly.

Kevin: The day he turns 17 is the day he leaves, so…

Ben: Well, say he doesn’t have to go back because the protection doesn’t matter anymore.

Kevin: Exactly.

Jamie: Dumbledore said that when he knew… Well, actually, actually perhaps he did know that he was going to die then. You know, if he planned it all with Snape, perhaps he knew then that he was going to die, so he told Harry to come back. Actually, perhaps he told Harry to come back, knowing full well that Harry wouldn’t go back, and he’d search for the Horcruxes and everything. I don’t know.

Ben: I don’t know. I’m not quite sure why he would do that, but…

Jamie: It just seems that if he. If we assume by that point that he had arranged with Snape – assuming that Snape’s good, of course – if he’d arranged with Snape then that he was going to die by then, I don’t know why he’d tell Harry to go back to the Dursley’s for one more summer. Because, I mean, he’s going to have to find the Horcruxes at some point, which means he’s going to have to put himself in direct danger.

Kevin: He’s going to have to leave, yeah.

Jamie: Exactly. So, delaying it for one summer seems pointless.

Ben: Right, and I don’t understand why that last summer would matter anyways, because school gets out in June…

Jamie: I know why it is.

Ben: …and his birthday is July 31st. So…

Jamie: I know why that is.

Ben: …they only have two months, anyways.

Jamie: It’s so he can home school himself and teach himself more than…

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: …he can learn in school.

Micah: But that’s an interesting point, Jamie, that if he was planning everything out, it makes perfect sense that he would go and remind Petunia because he wouldn’t be there to do it himself in the end. So, Petunia still has a big question mark on her, but I think that’s the conclusion we came to. [laughs]

Top 10 Things on Dumbledore’s Will

Andrew: Last week, I brought up to everyone, well, I asked everyone to send in what Dumbledore has on his will. Because, I mean, come on, the guy’s pretty – he’s pretty big. He’s got to have something drawn out for everyone, so we have some entries. I’m going to read one right now. It’s from John of PA. He lists them, the Top 10 Things on Dumbledore’s Will. [reads]:

10. Lemon drops to Severus Snape. God knows, he could be a little less sour;

9. Old boxes of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans to Umbridge, wishing her the same fate;

8. The Pensieve I leave to Professor McGonagall, so someone has some sort of an understanding of what was going through my head. I’d leave it to Hagrid, but you know how free he is to share information;

7. All my books, I leave to Madame Pince’s restricted section so no one will ever be able to read them;

6. I leave my best mead to Professor Trelawney, so she doesn’t have to reek strictly of sherry;

5. I leave my ear muffs to Hagrid to go along with his umbrella;

4. To Ronald Weasley, I leave the first ever printed Chocolate Frog Card with my picture on it. Now you have seven of them;

3. For Hermione Granger, I leave all my gizmos and gadgets. You’re the only person who could ever possibly work them, anyway;

2. To Harry Potter, I leave Gaunt’s ring, just because I have nothing else to leave; and

1. To Dobby, I bequeath all my woolly socks.

Signed, Albus P.W.B. Dumbledore

Andrew: [finishes reading] And thank you, once again, to John from Pennsylvania.

MuggleCast’s Dating Service

Andrew: Moving on, as many people know, we like to help people out here on the show. Isn’t that right, Mr. Lawrence?

Jamie: We do.

Andrew: And we got this e-mail the other day, and we have to read it. Jamie, go for it.

Jamie: Okay, I will. Yeah, I will, yeah. So, this week, we have an e-mail from Aaron Nicholson, 15, from Nottingham, England, and he would like to ask one of our biggest fans, Sarah Bannister – Sarah, are you out there?

Andrew: [in girlish voice] Yes!

Jamie: He wants to ask if you will go out with him.

Andrew: [in girlish voice again] Yes, I will! Yaaay!

Jamie: Yeah, so please call him and tell him, “Yes,” because, you know, we don’t like unhappy relationships on this show. So, tell him yes…

Andrew: No way. Not at all.

Jamie: …that you’ve been waiting for him to ask you for years and years and years…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: …and finally you can profess your undying love to him.

Andrew: Awww.

Jamie: And you can both jog into the sunset, holding hands, living happily ever after…

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: …while still listening to the show on your iPods, of course.

Andrew: Remember your roots.

Jamie: Because you can’t forget us, the people who brought you together. So…

Andrew: You’re right.

Jamie: Please, Sarah, say, “Yes.” Please, Sarah.

Jamie’s British Joke of the Day

Andrew: [laughs] Jamie, you’ve also got a British Joke of the Day for us?

Jamie: I don’t have one. Oh, wait.

Andrew: What?

Jamie: Yes, I do.

Andrew: Oh, good.

Jamie: Yes, I do. It isn’t really a joke, but…

Andrew: What?

Jamie: But before, I was trying to make a kettle, but I just couldn’t quite get a handle on it.

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Voicemail – The Number Three

Andrew: Oh, that’s too bad. Let’s hit up the voice mails, and then we’ll get out of here. Here comes the first one, right now.

[Audio]: Hey, MuggleCasters! This is Nicole from Iowa City. I love the show, especially when Ben broadcasts [laughs] from weird places. I have a question for you guys: According to Dumbledore on page 426 of PoA, US edition, Trelawney has given two known prophecies. Both have concerned Voldemort, and that seems to be her area of specialty, so to speak. Throughout the books, Jo often uses three as a nice, round number, especially for magical events; for example, three Triwizard challenges, three times the Potters defied Voldemort, et cetera. Do you think it’s possible that Trelawney will give a third and final prophecy converting – concerning Voldemort and/or Harry? Just wanted to know what you guys thought. Bye!

Ben: I don’t think there’s going to be any more prophecies.

Jamie: Hmmm! Hmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm!

Ben: Oh I’m sorry, Jamie, but I don’t think there are going to be any more prophecies.

Jamie: Oh, Ben, you’re so negative!

Ben: I just don’t think there will be!

Kevin: Do you think there will be? Do you think we’ll actually see her in the seventh book a lot?

Jamie: Kill her hopes! Kill her hopes! Kill her hopes! Kill her dreams!

Ben: I don’t think there’s a need for another prophecy.

Jamie: Apart from Prophecy 2007.

Kevin: Wait, when Harry was talking to Dumbledore, he – Dumbledore said he’s known her to give how many prophecies correctly? Was it two?

Jamie: You call yourself a fan, Kevin? Well done.

Ben: Yeah. [Laughs] Jamie’s in a bad mood; don’t mind him, Kevin.

Jamie: What’s the name of that guy who – uh, who’s in the books again? [laughs] What’s his name? Was it Harry?

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: I think? Henry, that’s it!

Ben: Henry.

Kevin: Anyway, so doesn’t that – including Harry’s prophecy that she told Harry – doesn’t that make three?

Jamie: No. No, it’s one where she predicted that Peter Pettigrew would rise up again and join Voldemort and the original prophecy that she…

Kevin: Oh, okay.

Jamie: …that she did in front of Dumbledore.

Micah: You can’t just bring a prophecy out of nowhere at the beginning of the book, and expect it to be fulfilled by the end, and…

Kevin: Yeah, that’s true. That’s enough foreshadowing.

Micah: …I think we already have one prophecy left that needs to be fulfilled, so I don’t think there’s going to be another one.

Ben: Yeah, there’s too much going on for another prophecy.

Jamie: And also Book Seven is all about choice. You know, it’s stressed throughout the entire series, and now it’s going to be all about what Harry wants to do, what Voldemort wants to do, you know? They can’t just find one more and it changes everything, I think. I don’t know. It’s an interesting theory, though.

Harry’s Boggart

[Audio]: Hi, this is Andrew Evans from Miami, Florida. I was wondering: in the third book Harry’s Boggart was a Dementor, but since he can repel them now without trouble, I don’t think he would fear them anymore. So if he saw a Boggart now, what do you think he would see? Thanks. Bye.

Ben: I think he would see the death of his friends, you know?

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: Or Voldemort?

Jamie: Can you actually see those things?

Ben: With a Boggart he fears Voldemort dying? No, Voldemort’s not his worst fear.

Jamie: Exactly. He wouldn’t actually fear Voldemort, he’d fear what Voldemort, you know, could bring. It’s like…

Kevin: Could do, yeah, that’s true.

Jamie: Haven’t you always wondered? Do you honestly think…?

Kevin: Like the Mirror of Erised discussion.

Jamie: Yeah, but you know? Do you… It’s like I’ve always thought it was weird with Ron, the thing he fears absolutely the most is spiders. There has to be something he fears more, like, you know, emotional things, like being alone, or growing old and not having anyone to, you know?

Kevin: Ehhh… If you – if you have, like, a phobia, it’s some of the real most intense fear you can have.

Jamie: Oh okay, then.

Ben: I just think Ron seems a bit superficial, and that’s why his fear isn’t as deep.

Jamie: Well, there are other people as well. Who else? I mean, the moon is understandable for Lupin, but…

Micah: Yeah, but it’s possible it changes, though.

Kevin: There are people who are afraid of going on elevators. I mean, that’s their biggest fear; they can’t stand them. It’s just the physical and mental reaction they get to the situation.

Jamie: I guess so. I guess so. I just doubt that Harry’s would be Voldemort’s strength, you know?

Kevin: Yeah, that’s true. Yeah. I agree.

Jamie: But when Lupin says, after Harry says that he fears, you know, Dementors the most, he says that shows the thing you fear most is fear itself. Perhaps, you know, when he sees Dementors, he doesn’t actually – he doesn’t actually fear the thing attacking him, but he fears what they bring, so the memories that he has to relive.

Ben: So, maybe it still would be a Dementor.

Jamie: Yeah, I think it still would be. I don’t think he actually fears the thing, he fears what they can do. And…

Ben: Right, I just think… I think that it makes sense that the reason in Prisoner of Azkaban that Harry saw the Dementor wasn’t necessarily because he was freaked out by it when he saw it on the train.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: That may have had something to do with it, but it also has a deeper representation of him only fearing…

Jamie: Exactly.

Ben: Fear. Right.

Jamie: Concur.

Show Close

Andrew [Show Close with music in background]: That does do it for Episode 57 of MuggleCast. We are off to LA, but the week after that we will be back with Episode 58. Once again, I am Andrew Sims.

Ben: I am Ben Schoen.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Kevin: I’m Kevin Steck.

Micah: And I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

Andrew: We will see you in two weeks.

Told you it was bad.