MuggleCast EP8 Transcript
Andrew [Show Intro with music in background]: This is MuggleCast – Episode 8 for September 24, 2005. If you haven’t finished reading Book 6 yet, then you probably should not listen to this podcast, as we do talk about different plot spoilers.
Andrew [In strangely high pitched voice]: Hey everybody! Welcome to another exciting edition of MuggleCast! I’m Andrew Sims.
Eric: I’m Eric Scull.
Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.
Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.
Andrew: Ben Schoen is not here this week because he’s at a debate tournament.
Eric: Forensics or something…
Andrew [whispers]: It doesn’t really matter because nobody really likes him.
Andrew: Yeah. So before we get things started, let’s get you updated on the past week’s top stories with Micah.
Micah: Thanks, Andrew. Scholastic, the American publisher of the Harry Potter series, has announced that sales for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince have hit 11 million in the U.S. alone. By comparison, 5 million copies of Order of the Phoenix were sold in the first twenty-four hours and 11 million sold in total.
And on Thursday night, the 6th Book in the Harry Potter series was named “America’s best-selling novel” from January to August. It sold more than twice as many copies in the United States in its first two weeks as any other author’s book in a whole year.
Moving from Half-Blood Prince to Goblet of Fire, a special gathering and party has been announced for the Goblet of Fire premiere weekend of November 12th in New York City. Reservations include hotel and various activities to enjoy over the weekend. This is a great way to plan your trip for the U.S. Goblet of Fire premiere. More details over on MuggleNet.com.
Of course you can check out all the new trailer information, video clips, and pictures on our Main Page. This week three new interviews have been posted with the actors who play Fleur Delacour, Cedric Diggory, and Cho Chang. It has also been reported a commercial with new footage for Goblet of Fire aired Thursday night during a showing of “Joey” on NBC. Seeing as there are only five people who watch this show and we know who you are, we’d appreciate it if the former cast members of “Friends” would send it in.
And, a very happy birthday to Tom Felton (the actor who portrays Draco Malfoy) in the Harry Potter movies. He turned 18 on Thursday.
Finally, we end with an update on the fundraising efforts for Hurricane Katrina. Alivan’s reported on Wednesday that they have raised $9,315 through their Redwood for Red Cross sale. Thank you to everybody who donated.
That’s all the news from our News center in New York for this September 24, 2005 edition of MuggleCast. Back to you guys!
Andrew: All right, thanks, Micah. Now you guys are all updated. Doesn’t everyone feel better now? Everybody knows what’s going on?
Eric: I feel – I feel positively enlightened, Andrew!
Andrew: Fresh and new!
First MuggleNet Girl on MuggleCast
Andrew: Oh, I almost forgot. Before we start, [takes a deep breath] you can stop the emails. We finally have a girl FROM MUGGLENET on the show.
Andrew: Laura Thompson!
Eric: Laura Thompson of MuggleNet Fan Fiction is here.
Andrew: Laura is that your main job around the site? You also do some content, right?
Laura: Yeah, I work on MuggleNet as well, but it’s a pretty even balance between the two.
Andrew: Okay. Sweet. And you were one of the ones who originally came to us after I put out the request from Staff Members to come and help out.
Laura: Yes. Yes.
Andrew: And I sort of didn’t get any girls on until five minutes ago.
Laura: And I sort of badgered you for weeks on end.
Andrew: Yeah, and then I gave you first priority which we are going to start having whenever there is an open spot, we’re going to bring in a MuggleNet female. Whether it be Laura…
Andrew: Yeah. And now people in the Staff Forum can stop complaining.
[Andrew and Laura Laugh]
Andrew: I never replied…
Laura: Not that I did that.
Andrew: Yeah. Wait a second. We have Staff Forums? I don’t know what you’re talking about. Okay.
Jamie: We have an eternal split through the staff positions.
Voldemort Contest Update
Andrew: First, let’s get to a few announcements. Eric, let’s start it off with the Contest Update.
Andrew: Actually, no! We’re going to do it differently. I didn’t tell you this. My mistake.
Eric: You didn’t inform me, man! You changed the contest and you didn’t inform me? I’m so alone…
Andrew: To get to the Poll to vote for what you think is the Top Entry or maybe if it is yours (because twenty lucky people got into this Poll), go here. There will be a Poll there. You are going to vote. We’re going to keep it open until… When should we keep it open till?
Eric: I think till the next episode or is two weeks better?
Andrew: I think two weeks.
Eric: Two weeks. Okay, yeah, two weeks then.
Eric: So at the release of Episode 10 the Polls will be closed and our list will be complete.
Andrew: All right, so that just about wraps that up. The Poll will be open until Episode 10 at which time we will have the winners. People will win the prizes. If you want the prizes. If you want to know what they are go back to Episode 6.
Eric [Laughs]: Probably! Probably!
Andrew: Episode 6.
No More Horcruxes!
Eric: Oh wait. Okay. So, can I do that thing now?
Andrew: The voicemails?
Eric: About the Horcruxes.
Andrew: Yeah, sure. Yeah.
Eric: Okay, okay. One thing we have to ask the fans, we were kind of talking about discussing the show – all of us – and we decided that recently we’ve devoted a lot of time to talking about (and there were good conversations too), but to Horcruxes. We were talking about recent Book 6 stuff a lot. And it makes sense because it’s a hot topic and stuff, but what we wanted to do, and kind of ask the fans to help us with, is to kind of get back to talking about more of the original and basic Harry Potter stuff. The things that we love about the books and the characterization, which I believe is actually our main topic is today! Which is great and it’s just basic, more down-to-the-books stuff. So PLEASE, send in voicemails that aren’t… We love to hear your voicemails and all your theories on Horcruxes cause they’re all good, uh, and stuff, but we would like to get in to talking about more fundamental and earlier and all-encompassing things. I think it would be truly a bad thing on MuggleCast if we just brazed the surface of the books, which is really what we’ve done since we’ve just talked about Horcruxes. Harry Potter isn’t all about Horcruxes. So please send in your voicemails. If you have any questions or anything that you’d like to add about the original, the first few books or…
Andrew: ANYTHING else besides Book 6 content…
Eric: Yeah. And anything else besides Horcruxes. And also, well, last week we talked about Felix Felicis, which was not a voicemail, but it was something that Ben brought up, but it was nice because it was a NEW part of Book 6 that we hadn’t talked about extensively or at all. And so that was very nice.
Andrew: Okay. So please stop. PLEEEEAAASE.
Andrew: Okay, and now time for some plugs. Now…
Eric: They made you that website, Andrew.
Andrew: Oh, yeah! Okay, thanks for setting me up for that one. [Clears throat and says in nerdy voice] I’d like to thank everybody who made me a website, a fan site. It warmed my heart.
Eric: He’s got like forty now. It’s great!
Andrew: I knew. I knew what would happen when I asked. And sure enough all of my fans fulfilled my wishes. So, I thank you all.
Jamie: All two of them.
Eric: Oh, Andrew. I know we were going do this later, but do you want to tell them about this now?
Andrew: I’m not done yet. I’m still thanking my fans.
Eric: Introduce your new section?
Andrew: But seriously, you guys are cool. Okay and don’t forget to vote for us on Podcast Alley by going to MuggleCast and clicking on the link that says “Vote For Us On Podcast Alley” because we want to be up at No. 1! We’re at No. 6 now and that’s not cool. We want to be up to No. 1!
Eric: You’re the one who said you were getting bored of being No. 1, Andrew!
Andrew: No, that was on iTunes.
Eric: Oh that was on iTunes! I’m sorry.
Andrew: And now, I’m bored of being No. 30. So I want to move back up to No. 1. [Laughs]
Eric: Well, Andrew, why don’t we plug that thing, that free iPod Book just ONE MORE TIME!
Eric: Just in case they didn’t hear it in the other SEVEN casts!
Andrew: The free iPod Book…really, we’re not getting paid for putting that up. If you have an iPod, download it. If you’re new to podcasting, download it. That’s all there is to that. Don’t forget. It is so easy to subscribe to us on iTunes. We like being high up on that list because we get a lot of extra promotion from visitors. Okay? So to subscribe to us through iTunes all you to do is go to MuggleCast and click on the “iTunes” button and/or “Subscribe/Download”. You can install or download iTunes. But, here’s the catch. Here’s what’s really going to get you going. Okay? Soon, very soon…[takes short breaths and coughs] Sorry, I’m still recovering from my cough.
Andrew: Soon, we’re going to start offering subscriber incentives, so that those that subscribe via iTunes or other things, but we rather prefer iTunes, you will get special bonuses. We’re going to putting together a Blooper Reel soon. We might put together…Ben and I have a behind-the-scenes video in the works on how the show is made. Stuff like that. We encourage you to subscribe. It’s easy. It doesn’t cost you anything. And, so go to MuggleCast for more [in weird voice] in-for-mation.
Main Topic – Characterization
Andrew: Okay, and the big topic of this week…of discussion…
Eric: Oooh, yes…
Andrew: No, it’s not Goblet of Fire. No, it’s not about Half-Blood Prince. It’s about…
Eric: Wow, SOMETHING NEW!
Andrew: I know. I can’t believe it!
Eric: Okay, so since we’ve got this new, WONDERFUL girl, Laura Thompson from MuggleNet Fan Fiction News.
Laura: Oh, thank you.
Eric: Who’s had to read, she’s probably force-fed herself stuff, you know, all the time, all the fan fiction she got sent. And of course some of it’s great, but she SHOULD and DOES know a lot about characterization in the books, and that’s what we are going to talk about today. So, right Andrew?
Andrew: That’s right, Eric.
Eric: Okay, one of the things I can say about this would be teachers! Now I’ve gone to public school my whole life, and that enabled me to meet quite a bunch of wild and crazy (well, not exactly wild and crazy), but different teachers. So, what I wanted to say was that I don’t think there’s a single teacher at Hogwarts which I can’t really compare their personalities to a teacher I’ve had in the past!
Laura: I think…
Andrew: Well, you know what…
Eric: And just like in Book 6, Slughorn was the final one. The last one I needed. The kind of mindset of a teacher who, likes to be around the kids who might one day be very successful and famous. But, we’ve had the complete kook, we’ve had the, you know, person who is completely unprepared and ill-equipped, and we’ve had the outcast. So…
Laura: Really, I think she has a great representation of all the teacher-types you can get. I myself have had my very own personal Dolores Umbridge when I was in the 8th Grade.
Andrew: What about a Snape? Did you ever have a Snape?
Laura: Oh yes! Yes, I have. It was definitely an enlightening experience. She ignored me. She was just basically pretty awful to me. And I really didn’t enjoy that class very much. I think we’ve all probably had our own Snapes. Input?
Eric: Yeah. [Laughs] Insert input here! Yes.
[Eric and Laura Laugh]
Eric: I’ve had Umbridge too and, unfortunately it was a very bad year for me. There were like, twenty bullies in the class and only like, three people who wouldn’t make fun of me. So that was, that was not good.
Laura: The Inquisitorial Squad.
Jamie: Eric, you’re turning into Ben. You’re turning into, “I was bullied when I was six. I’ve had a really bad life.”
Eric: [Laughs] No Jamie, that wasn’t Ben. That was the voicemail that the one guy sent in asking us how many times we read the books and said he read it like, fifty times or something. We weren’t making fun of him but then said how Ben had the bad childhood and all. Oh, that was funny. “I was bullied in school!”
Jamie: When people compare the Harry Potter teachers to their own teachers, I think they either compare the magical qualities or the normal, sort of personality traits that are in them. I’ve had Dumbledores, the people who really care and who really look after you, and are really concerned about your welfare rather than just your education. I’ve had Umbridge, who I didn’t particularly like and whom I felt was working for the education system rather than me, which they are, but I prefer a more personal teacher who actually cares about you. I think everyone has had to have had the Snapes who you don’t personally like, but other people like them. Like Harry doesn’t really like him, but Malfoy does really like him. So I think if we compare personality traits, loads of people will have had teachers exactly like the people in Harry Potter. But if you compare the things they do in lessons, I don’t think many people have had to sort of transfigure a warthog…
Jamie: …in 8th grade math.
Eric: Well! Of course not. I mean that was great and a brilliant distinction there and thanks for bringing it up.
Jamie: You’re absolutely welcome.
Eric: I really like your Dumbledore comparison there, Jamie. There are those teachers who are just really, concerned for your welfare and not just for education and, and those are my favorites.
Jamie: Exactly. I think in Harry Potter, Jo doesn’t really talk about the education system that much. You can’t really have standardized teaching because it’s just one school, which teaches magic. Whereas, all the schools, especially in the U.K., they have a curriculum, so you all have to stick to one path to teach. Obviously, all the teachers have different ways of teaching, different methods, but there is a certain specification that you have to teach. I don’t know for sure, but I think for primary school you have to do one hour of numeracy or literacy every day. Or something like that. Whereas, in Hogwarts, it’s all down to the teachers, it’s all down to the school. Because in essence it’s a private school, but it’s not. They can do whatever they want, really.
Eric: Well, it kind of is, and they have been doing what they want to. In Book 5, Umbridge was saying how all the former DADA teachers had taught the students all this useless crap…
Jamie: Yeah. Exactly.
Eric: …but, what it just shows how little power the Ministry had over the school. Or at least authority.
Jamie: Exactly. Exactly, but it isn’t only that. The school can’t really appeal to the Ministry to change things to a different education system because it is against the Ministry. There aren’t many countries, especially in the West, where the government and the education system are separate. The education system is usually overseen. It isn’t in control, but it’s overseen by the government. And I think that’s one big distinction between Hogwarts and normal schools.
Laura: Honestly though, Order of the Phoenix, it really compared to my feelings on the education system because I’m homeschooled now, and the reason I left was because I felt like the public schools didn’t care about us anymore. They were more concerned with handing out detentions and frankly trying to keep their ratings up, get their funding. It was definitely not the best experience. I spent ten years in there.
Eric: Laura, I think that’s brilliant. I know exactly what you mean since I’m in public school and funding is a big issue now. One thing is that kids these days are asking for and practically begging teachers for detentions, and deserve them but, I mean that’s something else. There’s also kids who… I mean one thing I think about public school is that public school has always been sort of… it’s had a lack of individuality. Homeschooling you get it. It’s a big, big thing. And that’s simply, you know, I don’t think that could exist in a public school because there are so many kids or that it could if we wanted it to. Because there is no way for the teachers, there’s no individuality because they have to teach a class and not just you. So, in a way homeschooling will always be that more personal, and more so than public school. There are other issues with public schools and the school system, and I think that Book 5 really brought out kind of the worst things…
Jamie: No I like that, but I think as Laura was saying, she didn’t like how everyone was handed out detentions and stuff like that. But I think that’s because Hogwarts and the magical world, it doesn’t really have bureaucracy and people aren’t really accountable. They are accountable to the people, but they aren’t accountable to the government. We don’t know how the government in Harry Potter is elected really, but in school nowadays, in the Muggle world, people meet targets, they have to be scrutinized by everyone. Targets? Yeah, everyone has to make targets. They have to be scrutinized by everyone, which means they have to hand out some detentions just to show that they are assertively disciplining everyone. And that’s the big distinction between Hogwarts. I would personally, I don’t know. I’d like to be taught in a Hogwarts, obviously because everyone wants to be taught in Hogwarts. But, I don’t know.
Eric: Yeah. What you said about the government and the Ministry being completely separate from the school is true. And in public schools, there’s always this pressure to perform up to and meet standards. It’s not quite the same at Hogwarts. At Hogwarts, they don’t need to worry about losing funding if they don’t meet requirements and that’s a big problem with public schools. They’re going to lose funding if they did anything inappropriate.
Jamie: Exactly. Yeah.
Eric: Right, and one of the things is that I guess Hogwarts and Muggle schools do have SOMETHING in common which is the parents! And I mean, maybe sometimes not, but in recent books, Dumbledore has certainly had to answer to the parents of the students. And schools nowadays, my school just last year had a large book banning and all of the parents of students in the community came out and participated rather heatedly, but the parents of the children who say that they don’t want their children taught this and that, and all the problems with religion and schools, and all this, this whole thing is really like an accountability that they don’t have necessarily for the government, but they have for the parents. And Hogwarts has a little bit of that.
Jamie: Yeah, but over here, especially nowadays, it is so hard to fire a teacher. You have to go through paperwork and you have to find out exactly what they did. They have to be tribunaled, and hearings, whereas Umbridge in Book 5 just told Trelawney to go. There’s no accountability, there’s no forms, there’s no scrutiny or anything like that. You do have the School Governors, which threaten to close the school and do all those things in Chamber of Secrets, but I don’t really see if they can do that. If they close Hogwarts, the thing is, there’s only three schools of magic in the world. Or as far as we know. And if you close one, you’re like shutting off the education system for every single wizard and witch on one continent, and you can’t really do that. Whereas, if you close down one school temporarily because of a gas leak or something now, you can because there are contingency plans and you can go back in a few days and catch up. Whereas, I don’t you can do that to Hogwarts. Even if they have the Governors who are supposed to scrutinize them, I don’t think they can very well.
Eric: You know, Jamie, that’s great point! And it’s really a big question now: Will Hogwarts be open again for Book 7? Not necessarily for Harry. Harry doesn’t really need to go back for his seventh year. He’s so completely screwed and incompetent with tackling the Horcruxes and he does need to find out how he’s going to find them. But, I certainly don’t think it’s anything that he can learn again at school. The point is what will happen to all the underclassmen? And how will they…will the new wizards find out that they are wizards with the new children? How will they function? How will they learn? That’s a great, great, great point.
Eric: If there’s no school, what will happen to the underage wizards? Will they need to be held back a year? Next year, when it’s open again?
Andrew: I think the Ministry of Magic would have some sort of back-up plan if this would happen. Maybe transfer them to another school or maybe set up a temporary school? Something like that. I think this deserves its own discussion though. We’ll save it for another podcast. Does anyone have anything else to discuss before we move on?
Eric: Okay, Laura. Tell the world what it’s like. Tell us the kind of stuff you are exposed to as a Fan Fiction Editor/Poster/Moderator-thingy.
Jamie: Half the eighteen-year-olds in the country would faint just at the mention of some of the pairings you receive. Isn’t that right? Even Satan would go: “I am getting out of here right now!”
Laura: A majority of the authors are very easy to deal with and we have a lot of very talented people. Some people do get demanding sometimes, but it is really because they don’t understand the magnitude of the stories we get. We must get at least 600 stories a day! And when you’re splitting it between less than twenty people who have lives and such, it is difficult. But it is a good job, and I really enjoy doing it.
Jamie: Do you find the majority of people present one character in a certain way, or do you find there’s a small niche in the market, say, who feel that one character should be presented in one way or a different way? And they are cut off from the rest of the Potter Community?
Laura: There are a lot of stereotypes when it comes to the characters. One thing that is annoying is that people often stereotype Ron as being very dumb. And I realize he’s not Hermione, but he’s not dumb either.
Jamie: He’s not stupid though, is he? No. I really like Ron.
Eric: Well no, yeah, the thing about Ron – he’s very intelligent.
Jamie: That’s the point. I like him.
Eric: He just doesn’t always get the uptake!
Eric: You know, he’s not.. he might not be up-to-date with things, but once he knows what’s going on he’s very…
Eric: He knows what to do about it and he has no trouble advising Harry…
Eric: It’s not like he just sits there and he’s like “Uhhh…” you know?
Laura: One of the things that I find most important about Ron is his loyalty to Harry.
Jamie: Which is more important.
Laura: Ron is the kind of friend that would die for him, and I think that counts, as Hermione said, a lot more than books and cleverness.
Eric: Yes, and I’m going to quote Jamie from a few episodes ago here, right now.
Eric: Yes! No, he said that in the books it was a true mark of friendship that that Ron didn’t laugh…
Jamie: Oh yeah.
Eric: …when Harry told him about the Hogwarts Express-Draco incident.
Laura: That’s a perfect example.
Jamie: This bring us, this brings us to another point though. You were talking about how Hermione said that bravery and friendship is favored more. Why don’t we talk about why we think Hermione was put into Gryffindor then rather than Ravenclaw? Because all the while in Book 5, what’s his name? I can’t remember who it was. Ernie Macmillan, I think, said how after Hermione said that she could perform a Protein Charm…Protein…I don’t know how you pronounce it. Protean charm. It was NEWT grade. And she said: “Oh well, I can.” And he said: “Why weren’t you put in Ravenclaw?” And I think that was a turning point because it led up to Book 6 and showed, you know… I don’t know to finish that, but I hope people understand what I mean. [Laughs]
Eric: No, yeah. I know what you mean. That’s really cool, and gets our attention and says, “Why wasn’t Hermione put in Ravenclaw?” I don’t want to say that they’re all insensitive and mean in Ravenclaw in contrast to Hermione because, you know Ravenclaw is really the house we know least about? Hufflepuffs are probably the most, next to Slytherin the most violent, as far as gossiping and making Harry feel real bad! Ernie and them in Chamber of Secrets.
Eric: But that’s an interesting point and, I don’t know why Hermione wasn’t put in Ravenclaw.
Jamie: I think we’re all going to have to find out why she was put into Gryffindor and not Ravenclaw. Clearly in the 1st Book, and it was emphasized in the film, she said: “Oh, you’re a great wizard, Harry.” And he said: “Oh, I’m not you.” And she said: “The books don’t really count. It’s friendship, loyalty.” I think she has to favor that over any type of education even though in every book, Jo always says she always got her head in a book, reading and studying. I think clearly she’s going to have to do something to show why she was put in Gryffindor. It is such an important point. It isn’t just a sorting when they are getting sorted by the Hat. They are showing off all their personality traits, emphasizing them as a person. It isn’t just a house. It isn’t a school house where you’re put into the Blue Team, the Yellow Team, and the Red Team. It’s a really important aspect of school.
Eric: Yeah. I think what would completely and utterly stink is if the Sorting Hat didn’t do anything alphabetically and kind of – I don’t know if you have this Jamie – but Laura, American gym classes if you get like picked last for the sport…
Jamie: Yeah. It’s a stereotype. Yeah.
Eric: They have captains and they’re picking everyone. If it wasn’t alphabetical, all the favorites would go first.
Jamie: I like that one. That’s true.
Laura: Actually, I have something to say on Hermione being put in Gryffindor. I think she proved her bravery particularly at the end of Half-Blood Prince just in her one statement saying: “You told us that we could have turned back and I think we’ve had plenty of time to do that.”
Jamie: Yes. That’s brilliant. That’s absolutely brilliant.
Laura: It’s basically sealing the fact that she’s going to be with Harry and Ron to the very end.
Eric: Great point and she has said before that “we’re not leaving you Harry”.
Eric: That is a really good and underlying theme of bravery on her part. That’s great.
Jamie: If you go back to the 1st Book. Do you remember after Ron was really mean to her? And they saw her cry and they saved her from the troll. Jo emphasizes there they became the best friends after that, her new best friends. And that was setting it up, that was setting it up…
Eric: You know what, Jamie? I love that part and in fact I have the book with me right here. I have to find that part. It’s something about, something about there are certain things you can’t do without becoming friends and wrestling a troll is one of them or…
Jamie: Without becoming best friends. This is the first time on the show I think we’re actually having a quote from the book.
Eric: Yeah, hang on a minute, it’s “Halloween”. It’s the very end of the chapter.
Jamie: Maybe we should do readings. Jim Dale can just go compared to us.
Andrew: Yeah, he’s got those books memorized.
Eric: All right. I have it. It says:
– Sorcerer’s Stone (U.S. Edition), pg. 179
Jamie: Yeah. Exactly. I think after that, they were going to stick together.
Laura: I love that. It just seems so simple. It’s perfect. I love it.
Jamie: It means a lot. Yeah. That’s true. That’s true.
Eric: Well, right. It’s brilliant. It really shows that the best friendships can just start from nothing. Not exactly that wrestling a mountain troll was NOTHING, but it’s that it’s an awkward situation in that it was the result of Hermione taking direct offense. Hermione was completely offended by Ron and it turned into this beautiful friendship. Even now, we’re seeing that it’s grown beyond friendship and it’s spreading between her and Ron into a romance.
Spy on Spartz
Andrew: Well, that was a very in-depth discussion. Now it’s time to get on with our show regulars that everyone has come to know and love. They really are the staple and assets of MuggleCast. Let’s start off first with the one, the only, you can’t get it anywhere else. [In really deep voice] It’s “Spy on Spartz.” Who has AIM open?
[Makes weird noise]
Jamie: Is it actually open? Let’s all investigate.
Andrew: And this concludes this week’s edition of “Spy on Spartz”! Emerson is not online and none of us want to pay long-distance to call to him!
Laura: I think you guys are getting a little obsessed.
Jamie: He could be invisible.
Andrew: What can I say Laura? I’m obsessed with the guy.
British Jokes of the Day
Andrew: Well this is part of the excitement because people will never know if we’ll be able to “Spy on Spartz” or not. So tune in next week for another exciting edition. And before we move on to my new segment, it wouldn’t be another episode of MuggleCast if we didn’t have one of Jamie’s “British Jokes of the Day”.
Jamie: Okay, we have two “Jokes of the Day”. One very, very small joke. A two-liner. And a slightly longer joke. Okay. The first one is a make or break joke. It will make people laugh or not.
What airlines do Vampires travel on? Okay. British Scareways!
Andrew: Oh, what a funny one. Jamie, you rule!
Jamie: This one is so funny, okay? Okay, ready? This one is so good. Okay? I’d just like to say before I say this, we don’t mean any offense to Irishmen, Englishmen, or Scotsmen. This is just the format of the joke. We love Englishmen, Irishmen, and Scotsmen. Really. Okay, I’ll go now.
There’s an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman and they are being chased by a policeman. They see this old warehouse around, so they run into it. And inside there are three empty sacks on the floor. Okay? And each one of them jumps into a sack. And in comes the policeman and he sees these three bundles on the floor because it’s a small sack and they fill up all the space. And he goes up to the first one and he kicks it. And the Englishman shouts out, “Woof, woof!” And the policeman thinks, “Oh, it’s just a dog in there. It’s fine.” So, he goes over to the next sack and he kicks it and it goes, “Meow, meow!” And he thinks, “Oh, it’s just an old cat in it.” So he walks over to the third one and kicks it. And the Irishmen calls out, “Potatoes, potatoes!”
Andrew: I haven’t heard that one before.
Eric: Isn’t it a blonde joke? Yeah, it’s a blonde joke. It’s really neat. It’s like cultural diffusion. Our jokes are traveling. Much like Japanese baseball is baseball but more loyal. Like our jokes are changing their format but are basically the same things and have the same punch lines!
Laura: I’ve heard it with blondes, brunettes, and redheads.
Jamie: Ah well.
Andrew: And as it made its royal voyage across the sea, it has turned into potatoes. [Laughs]
Jamie: Andrew, can I do one more?
Andrew: Sure, go ahead.
Jamie: All right. Okay. It’s a knock-knock joke. So somebody is going to have to do it with me.
Jamie: Who wants to do it?
Andrew: Go ahead, Eric.
Eric: Who’s there?
Jamie: The Interrupting Cow.
Andrew: The Interrupting Co…
Jamie: Okay. On top of that joke. Okay. I have a competition. Well, it’s not really a competition, okay? On top of the there is a competition this week. If you change the word cow to say, rabbit, and you said: “The Interrupting Rabbit who?” And then you had to make a rabbit noise, what noise would you make? So can people send in voicemails with their best rabbit impressions? Thank you. [All Laugh] That’s an awesome idea.
Andrew: Great! Our inbox is going to get flooded with “Rabbit, rabbit!”
Jamie: That’s a great impression. That’s a great idea. People will love that.
Listener Challenge of the Week
Andrew: Guys, I had this idea two seconds before the show. We’re just going to try it one week. I don’t care if you guys think it is lame. Jamie has his “British Joke of the Day”. Emerson, even though he’s not on the show [Laughs] has his own little segment. I would like to start “Andrew’s Listener Challenge of the Week”. I requested last week that I sure would have liked a fan site. And lo and behold I get about two billion fan sites. Every week I am going to pose to you guys a challenge. If you fulfill this challenge, I will give you a hug. Now, this week’s challenge. I want you, yeah you! Yes, you! Right there. Yes, you! Okay, I want you to go out into your town. I want you to make signs that say “LISTEN TO MUGGLECAST!” And I want you to post them everywhere. I don’t care. Post-it notes. Lunch bags. I don’t care. Post it anywhere.
Laura: Take pictures!
Eric: That’s what we need to do. We need a marketing consultant or funding to make T-shirts just for MuggleCast, much like our MuggleNet T-shirts only they definitely have to ship a heck of a lot faster. They have to say things like, “Yeah, maaan” or “I completely agree with you” or something along those lines. And they can have our pictures.
Andrew: Eric, what are you asking for?
Eric: I’m saying we need full publicity! We need T-shirts, we need bumper stickers, and we need coffee mugs.
Jamie: We have to have MuggleCast slogans.
Andrew: We want promotion and we don’t have no money to do it. So I want you to go out there, put signs around your town that say, “LISTEN TO MUGGLECAST BECAUSE ANDREW TOLD ME TO TELL YOU!” Okay? So, DO IT!
Yeah. Great! So seriously you guys I want to see what people come up with. Oh, and here’s the thing. After you put up signs. Take pictures. And then we’ll make a page that has my weekly challenges. So do that, and send it to mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com. Let’s move on to everybody’s favorite part of the show.
Eric: Unless they get long and boring!
Andrew: Yeah, one last reminder, guys. Stop sending us Book 6 questions. We’re tired of them. Send in anything else besides Book 6. Okay, that’s it. Now, let’s get to the Voicemails.
Voicemails – Lily’s Eyes
[Audio]: Hey MuggleCast! This Matt, and I just want to say you’re doing a great job with the show. I listen religiously every week. I usually listen when I’m just hanging around and stuff. My question is this: Harry having his mother’s eyes is supposed to play a major role in the story, in Harry Potter Book 7, but I don’t really know how it’s going to work out. Do you think you have some opinions on how this might play out? Thanks, guys!
Eric: No, no. Thanks for that non-Horcrux voicemail and, I like it. I just have a small thing to contribute because I want Laura to do more talking and I’m going to get a ton of hate mails saying that I talk way too much and Jamie and Laura not at all. So I’m just going to say maybe my section should be plugging my Caption Contest, but no, one of the captions just a few weeks ago on the Caption Contest. It had something to do with Lily and there were two characters. One asked the other one: “What was the big thing we found out about Lily in Book 6?” The other one replied: “That she was good at Potions?” With a question mark. And it was good because it really brought up what Matt just did too, which was in Book 6 we really didn’t. What DID we find out about Lily in Book 6? Besides the fact that she was good at Potions? I really can’t think of anything else that we found out about her. I mean, so he’s right. How will that play a role? Jo put this emphasis on it so much earlier books in the books now. And how will that play a role? I have no clue!
Jamie: Okay. I think that’s right. I think it’s such an important topic, but I honestly don’t know. This is one of the things. It was just like why Voldemort wanted to kill Harry before the 5th Book. I could not hazard a guess because I had no idea. And this is, I think obviously is absolutely fundamental to the series. But, I’m stuck whether it is his actual eyes that are going to play a role physically, or whether it’s just a show that Lily is still inside him. That she’s always going to be with him.
Laura: I’m with Jamie. I’m really not absolutely sure what the significance is, but I did read a very, very interesting editorial once. I believe it was on MuggleNet. About Harry’s and Voldemort’s eyes. Harry’s eyes are green. Voldemort’s eyes are red. Obviously, Harry is in Gryffindor, Voldemort is in Slytherin. I think that’s a very interesting idea, and I think it’s a very important factor. I think it could have some kind of significance with symbolism and such.
Jamie: That’s great. Yeah. Good vs. evil as well. Red has always been blood, death, all those kinds of things. Symbol of evil.
Eric:: Well yeah, symbolism, but just like Star Wars! All right?
Eric: In Star Wars, the Imperials, the bad guys are green guys and the rebels are red! Or something.
Jamie: Yes. That’s great.
Eric: It’s like the complete opposite of what you’d expect. I’m talking about the laser thingies that their starships shoot out. Wait, star destroyers. Sorry. And X-Wings. I must be an insult to every Star Wars fan everywhere, but I am sorry. In the galaxy and I’m sorry! But that’s my take because they use the laser colors opposite to what you think. Sorry.
Jamie: And do you think we can just promise, can we just promise to all fans that this will not turn into a Star Wars podcast? Okay?
Voicemails – Dumbledore’s Army
[Audio]: Hi! This is Alisha from Ohio. I have a quick question. As sad as Dumbledore’s death was, I found it equally as sad as when we imagine Neville and Luna as still clinging onto their coins from Dumbledore’s Army. Did anybody else have the same reaction? Thanks!
Jamie: I did and I think it works on two levels. Them hanging on to their coins is a clear show of their commitment to Harry, them helping Harry, being with him right to the end. And of course that was shown when they went with him in Book 5 to the Ministry of Magic. And of course that is going to continue into Book 7. You know, they hang on to the coins so they’re always with Harry. But also, it can work on a physical level. They hang on to the coins and everyone thinks it’s just because they’re going to stick with Harry to the end, but it’s because Dumbledore’s Army is still going on in his name, in his spirit. And straight into Book 7, there’s going to be a Dumbledore’s Army just like there is an Order of the Phoenix. Or it could be absorbed into the Order of the Phoenix, just have a bigger Order of the Phoenix. But I think Dumbledore’s Army is here to stay or at least the people from it, and they’re always going to be loyal to Harry all the way to the very end whether Harry dies or not. Which of course he won’t! He will not die! I couldn’t take it if he died, as I’m sure everyone else couldn’t.
Eric: Well, then cause Voldemort would be… Well my biggest problem with Harry dying is that, well, will then Voldemort be able to go on and live forever? And so…yeah. But one thing I want to bring up is that it was very, very heartwarming and sensitive to see and hear that Luna and Neville held on to their coins, and they said that it was like having friends. It was very sympathetic and everything. Emotion is great, but it presented a very large hazard because of Draco! He knew about the coins or he found out about them and he knew how they worked! On the North Tower he tells Dumbledore that is how he communicated with Madam Rosmerta. So even though it’s emotional and fantastic for Neville and Luna to have hung on to the coins, it also presents a very big danger because then they can be misused and things. And it is possible Draco knew about the coins some other way, but it’s really similar to the list of passwords that Crookshanks got from Neville for Sirius in Book 3. Keeping them presents hazards. Another thing I think that is cool, is that Draco’s using the idea from the good side to do bad and it’s a kind of a good testimony to great ideas turned wrong. Laura, what do you think?
Laura: I had a very girly reaction to it. Apart from spending the last couple of chapters of the book absolutely bawling, I let off a huge “Awww” whenever I found out they had kept their coins because it specifically mentions that they were the only two that did. And I can’t imagine the kind of slap in the face it would be, to be so loyal to hold on to those coins for Dumbledore’s Army and then to find out that Dumbledore had been killed in such an undignified way. Someone like Dumbledore you expect to die very honorably, but he was blasted off the top of the Astronomy Tower. I just, I can’t imagine that feeling. I think it’s also very important sentimentally to show their loyalty to Harry.
Eric: No, but Sirius! Sirius Black’s death too, Laura! You expected Sirius to have a valiant and noble death, and there he was, he got hit with a spell and fell backwards through curtains! But that’s another point that Jo’s trying to make, I think. And I strongly subscribe to what Jamie said back in Episode 3 that on the North Tower where he said that Dumbledore’s getting blasted outward was due to the tremendous release of power. I know I bring that up in every cast, but it’s really truly…it might be rather insignificant, but at the same time Dumbledore had his fair share of fights in the books. It’s not that the DA cause has shattered either since he died so pathetically. It’s something real important that one should realize is the DA’s cause isn’t null or void just because he got himself blown off a tower.
Jamie: It was a noble way to go though, wasn’t it? Especially if Snape is still working for the good side. It was noble. He died to save Harry because he petrified him using his wand. Snape blasting Dumbledore off the thing was Snape purging him of all emotion. The blast symbolized all the Dumbledore had done. If the Avada Kedavra curse had just killed him outright, if he just fell down, I don’t think it would be as special. The fact that he was blasted all the way over into the ground of Hogwarts, of the place where he reigned over, just shows that his commitment throughout the entire series had come to an end and that he’s such a special character.
Eric: My God! Excellent, excellent insight Jamie. Good. Yeah, no problem. The only thing I was getting at was one of the best things the DA could ask for I think would be for the people or person they dedicate their group to really, truly, I think respect them and admire them and, more than normal, Dumbledore does that. Like I’m sure with Emerson fan sites, Emerson appreciates them all, but Dumbledore had a true complete love, attention, and patience with his followers and with Harry and with the DA. I think he really, really showed it to them. He gave them his respect and let them fend off the Death Eaters before he and the Order could arrive. Also in Book 5, in his office, he made the point that it was Dumbledore’s Army and not Harry’s Army. So he truly respected and put a lot of faith and loyalty into this group of followers. And I think that’s very unique and very, just admirable. For any group of the sort. So even if he does get killed rather quickly or pointlessly or without putting up a not so embarrassing fight…
Jamie: I think that’s a great point. You can really compare that to Voldemort because you said Dumbledore had complete faith in all of his followers, whereas Voldemort is scared of his followers. If one of them turns away from him, he’s kills them. So he’s scared of being reliant on somebody else, whereas Dumbledore isn’t. He likes to trust people. He likes to be friendly. He likes to be…he doesn’t like to be in control like Voldemort does, and I think that was what was so great about Dumbledore and why Dumbledore’s Army can still go on even after he’s gone. As Elton John said: “His candle burned out…” Well he didn’t actually say that about Dumbledore, but “his candle burned out long before his legend ever did.” First it was Marilyn Monroe, then it was Princess Diana, now it’s Dumbledore.
Andrew: [Laughs] Jamie, stop with all these “British Jokes of the Day”.
Voicemails – Hogwarts: Year 7?
[Audio]: Hi MuggleCast! My name is Sara. I listen to MuggleCast from Maryland. Books 1-6 all take place over the course of a school year, starting with the summer and ending at the Hogwarts Express, but Book 7 doesn’t have this restriction. Harry probably won’t be going back to Hogwarts. And the work of destroying all the Horcruxes can take years. Maybe even following the main characters into adulthood. What length of time do you think Book 7 will cover?
Andrew: Well, I think this is an interesting question because we’re looking at the Final Book in the series and we’re expecting it to be so, well, I don’t know if it’s going to differ a lot from the other books. But you would think the way Book 6 ended up that this is going to be one of the most unique books in terms of what Harry has to do. In that case, yes, I think it is possible for the book to span over a school year, but I mean if you think about the past books have started in the summer. So therefore yes, I think it is very possible this book can run over the end of the school year. Now, how long? Hey, it’s the last book – anything can happen. I can almost see, I hate to say it. I can almost see this running across the summer and theoretically into the next year of Hogwarts although there probably wouldn’t be any school.
Jamie: Jo did say that there would be a book for every year at Hogwarts, but I don’t know if she meant they’d be at school for that year or if it would just tie in timeframe-wise with when they’d be at school. But, I really, I can’t see them going back to school. How can they go to lessons when the fate of the world rests at their feet? Especially Harry, it is such a huge responsibility. He can’t juggle period three, killing Voldemort, and then Potions afterwards.
Eric: Well he’s done it before, he’s done it before, Jamie. I mean, you really can’t pretend that the whole thing with the Sorcerer’s Stone and everything wasn’t a big deal in itself. And that was way back when Harry was eleven. I mean in a way it was a far less difficult task to balance school with it because Voldemort was at school, and wasn’t really on the loose and he was confined to Quirrell. But at the same time what I wanted to say was that she’s managed to fit all of her books so far into the time of a year. And in Book 4, with the Triwizard Tournament and the Quidditch World Cup, that was FREAKING huge, all right? And everything she did was just so much more elaborate than we are used to and longer and better than any previous Quidditch match, but she still fit it into a year. And I think what we’re seeing and what we saw with Book 5 – with the hearing and the attack and everything – no matter how much stuff she has to fit in a book, or how complex it is, she really does seem to be able to make it run like a year long, rather from summer to summer. So, yeah. I just have two very final thoughts. I promise on this, absolutely. Okay, if Voldemort is killed or vanquished or whatever in Book 7, is it possible that it might happen early on in the book? Could it happen that summer yet, could it happen at the end of summer and then Harry would have to go and search for Snape the rest of the year and get rid of all the other Death Eaters? Assuming Snape is bad, which I don’t think so. I mean is it even plausible that the book series might not end with Voldemort’s death guys? Do you think so? Yeah, it’s unlikely since there’s so much stuff that Harry has to do yet to find all the Horcruxes. And he doesn’t know what the heck he’s doing. I’m guessing the death of Voldemort will be one of the last chapters, but is it possible he doesn’t have to die, or that it isn’t the very end?
Andrew: Yeah. That would be an interesting read because it would be so unexpected, and J.K. Rowling always wants to surprise us. So, if she did this then we could have the rest of the book to fill the rest of the gaps in. There would be plenty of time. I like that. J.K. Rowling, do that!
Laura: Okay. I think it will probably be close to the same length as the rest of the stories in the series. I really can’t see it spanning over ten or twenty years. I think it might be a little longer, it might be a little shorter. I don’t really think though, it’s the time span that counts. I think it’s actually how much time she spends on the story because as we’ve seen, she makes the summer shorter and longer in different books. I’m not really all that convinced that the timeframe is all that matters.
Andrew: Yeah, great point. Quality over quantity.
Eric: I think that Book 7 probably will last more then a year. All I was saying was that she’s adapted to fit things into a year, but unless Harry finally accepts help and accepts his friends and they all have prior knowledge to the Horcruxes’ whereabouts, it’s highly unlikely that it will all happen in a year or especially that summer. The final thing I had to say was in the interview I think, between Melissa and Emerson and JKR, JKR said that there would be a chapter devoted to the survivors’ futures. So that kind of makes me think that they won’t get into it too much into the future and she’ll more focus on the present and save it all for that chapter. So I think I’d kind of be fine with Book 7 lasting three to five years in present-time, and that would be good because anything after that will be saved for that extra chapter explaining the future of all the survivors. So I think she’s pretty much going to be rooted in the present.
Jamie: Yeah, but Eric. Eric. Eric. But the thing is the Horcruxes could be all over the world. All over the country. Is it actually feasible for Harry to find all these Horcruxes in one year? I’ve been thinking. You know that everyone thinks that the series has to finish with either Voldemort killing Harry or Harry killing Voldemort? Dumbledore says that it has to end with one of those things, but it doesn’t mean the books have to end like that. And I just don’t see how Harry can find them all in one year, or just a bit longer, or a bit shorter and then kill Voldemort. I don’t know how that can happen in one book.
Andrew: I just think we should get Jo on the show.
Andrew: We can ask her all the questions in the world. And then we’d never have to do another show again. We only do this because you guys have questions.
Jamie: Yeah, that’s true.
Andrew: So that way everything will get answered.
Eric: Well don’t get me wrong. I’d LOVE to have her on. She saluted me, that woman. I love her to death.
Andrew: I’m just joking.
Eric: But, no. But what I’m saying is she wouldn’t have to answer any questions! What would she do? Okay, I’ll tell you exactly how this would work. If JKR’s on MuggleCast. She’s going to sit there and we’re going to ask her the world’s best questions. And she’s going to sit there and give us the Jo Rowling smile, and the Jo Rowling look, and that Jo Rowling unfairness. And then she’d open her mouth and she’d give us that Jo Rowling tone of voice and she’d say, she would say in that Jo Rowling authentic brilliance, “The answer is in the books,” or that “We shall see..” [Laughs] You know? She doesn’t have to answer any questions even if we have her on. I’d love to have her on, but it would really be a waste because she’s so happy about what she’s got coming that we really can’t know about until it happens. That’s all I had to say.
Andrew [Show Close with music in background]: Yeah, that’s all she wrote. So thanks everyone for listening. We do really appreciate everyone downloading and subscribing. We hope you’ve enjoyed this week’s show. Don’t forget to send in your rabbit imitations to jamie at staff dot mugglenet dot com. Send in your Listen Challenge of the Week Photos to challenge at staff dot mugglenet dot com. We can’t wait to see those. And also don’t forget that our Poll is open right now. Make sure you vote on what you think is the funniest way Voldemort should die. Once again, I’m Andrew Sims.
Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.
Eric: All right. I’m Eric Scull.
Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.
Andrew: Ben Schoen will join us next week, and Kevin Steck was supposed to be on this show, but he had a few problems getting back in time. Also, we’d like to thank Laura for making, for pioneering the future of MuggleCast, MuggleNet girls showing up on MuggleCast.
Laura: [Laughs] Yes, thank you for having me. Thank you for having me.
Andrew: We’ll see you all next week!
Jamie: Do you find that the majority of people present one character in a certain way or do you find that they are like a small niche in the market, say, who feel that one character should be presented in one way or different way? And are they cut off from the rest of the Potter Community? Wow, that was really good! How do I come up with this *BEEP*?
Laura: Well we got a lot of…there…
Eric: Jamie, your own question was really good!
Eric: Oh Jamie, you’re British. Everything you say is worth hearing.
Jamie: Cheers, Eric.